Help Me Be Me

Help Me Be Me


Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, a blogger/podcaster and all-around happy person and these are the tools that work for me in my life. I think they'll work for you, too. For the blog versions of these episodes and to read more of my writing, check out Music theme created by Booker Hill Music: Previous intro by


Ep 92: Confidence in Love - A Core Workout  

Let’s say you’re not confident, which leads your to focus on others and accommodate their needs solely. Or you have been tipped off balance because there’s someone in your life that you want so bad and you feel like you can’t keep them so you’re doing whatever you can think of to keep them – but that’s creating a cycle where they pull away more. This is for you. It’s a recommended “core workout” in that it’s for regaining your inner strength. It starts with strengthening that relationship with yourself and a bond with yourself. Another term for it would be self-love. Heads up - this is an episode I recorded without a script so if something doesn't make sense, leave me a comment and I'd be happy to answer. If you liked this, please leave me a review on iTunes! For more of my work check out xo

Ep 91: Rules of Courtship, Dating & Sealing the Deal w/ Alicia Marder  

This is an interview with my bestie and go-to love guru, Alicia Marder. We'll discuss dating and courtship and how to demonstrate your value and "seal the deal" down the line. Heads up! This is most applicable for straight ladies but hopefully helpful to all! Just trade out the pronouns where necessary. I hope you enjoy! For more about Alicia, check out and for more from me check out - and if you like this episode, let us know if you want to ask any questions! We might do a follow-up. xo

Ep 90: Getting a Diagnosis: What You Should Consider w/ Dr. Sharon Flynn PhD  

I interview Dr. Sharon Flynn, PhD about receiving a diagnosis in therapy: the pros and cons, how it should be done, and what can do to protect yourself. We also discuss meds and when it's necessary to go on them vs. the last option you should seek. In my opinion, before you accept a diagnosis as your life sentence, get a second, third and fourth opinion. Just like all humans, professionals are not perfect: everyone sees a different person (and problem) based on their expectations and training. For more, check out or visit Sharon at xo Sarah May B.

Ep 89: How to Deal with Emotional Dysregulation with Dr. Sharon Flynn  

I interview Dr. Sharon Flynn PhD on what dysregulation is, what it’s from and some ways you can treat it. When emotions overtake you and make you unable to act in ways to help yourself, this is called dysregulation. It’s something that happens to a lot of people sometimes from trauma or ptsd, sometimes from the way you’re wired. For more you can check out or xo Sarah May B

How to deal with rejection  

If you got dumped or you didn’t get your dream job, here are some tools and insights to get you back on the wagon of awesomeness. Getting rejected is a confidence assault on so many levels because it reduces you to below the level you were before you mustered the courage to try. Especially if you don’t see it coming, it can make you feel like you can’t trust your gut and therefore, you should never try again. Well I assume you’re waiting for the typical catch-phrases like, “You can’t win if you don’t try.” But that would make me annoyed if I just got rejected so I’ll skip that part. Here are some tips to give you some grounding if this just happened to you. Looking for more? Head to xox My theme song was created by

Ep 88: What to do when you can’t speak your truth  

This is an episode that I’ve been wanting to write for a while – because it’s something that reminds me of a very confusing and difficult time for me. When I couldn’t find my voice, or access it. It’s a thing that happens to a lot of people – you can feel the thing you have to say and it’s just stuck inside your body. You can almost hear yourself screaming it, desperately trying to get it out. But your physical body doesn’t move. It’s like witnessing a silent victim trapped behind double mirrors in prison – why can’t they see me? Why can’t they hear me? Wherever this is coming from – for you, I think I can help give you a bit of a leg up. Because I know how this feels – it’s traumatizing. The worst. Because it’s like you are doing it to yourself, and you are somehow the cause of your own horror – because of the fact that you can’t even stand up for yourself. It sets up a really heavy, powerful loop that compounds a new truth: I am hopeless. I am a liar. I am invisible. I am a coward. No one can see me suffering. No on can help me, including me. Wow – that got kinda dark, huh? Well it’s kinda that feeling – a deep, dark where no light reaches. Let’s get to some proactive information shall we? There are 3 parts, the what why and how – the tools.

Holiday Reflection Exercise: glance back on your year  

This is something to do with a warm blanket and your journal, kinda like a date with yourself. Have your journal handy if you can – and your iphone calendar or a regular calendar, and take a listen. Feel free to pause as you go. This is what I’ll be doing as I go through my year. Happy holidays lovely friends! Celebrate as much as you can. xo Sarah May B.

Audience Q+A's: Guilt, ish w/ family, unfollowing ex's, dating anxiety & universal stuckness  

Hi peeps! In this “experiment” I answer several questions you’ve asked – quick-fire style! Like it? Let me know! What to do when the universe is shitting on you, How to deal if you don’t get along with your parents. Dating: What to do when you can’t help but feel needy or anxious. What to do if you have the same problem in relationships: why it happens, why you should take notice. How to deal with social media when you’ve been through a breakup, and How to forgive yourself when you fuck up a relationship or you feel like you made a bad decision in a relationship.

Ep 87: What to do When You Have Feelings You Don't Want to Feel  

It can be something that sets up a chain reaction: first the feelings of hate or desire or insecurity, then the shame, then the guilt. Then the loop that exacerbates it. I am writing this for all different kinds of situations, so hopefully if you’re suffering you can get a bit of relief – for yourself, and those you love. With that there are three parts – the what, why and how! Let’s do dis! For more of my work head to and to donate visit me on

Hate relief: How to stop hating and how to heal from a hate crime  

For those who have been assaulted in some way by hatred – perhaps from a person you though you were close to. Maybe a peer or a stranger on the street. Or something you heard via the news that really shocked and upset you. Or maybe you’ve been experiencing hate yourself, and you are trying to help yourself out of that. Check out for a list of rights-support organizations – it's an ever-growing on Google docs. I also have a link to help organizations for assault. Hang in there, friends. xox Sarah May B.

Ep 86: Love Anxiety - How to Deal with Fear Forecasting in New Relationships  

This one’s all about the anxiety and stress that you might feel as soon as you end up in a good relationship. The clinginess might be painful, almost excruciating, and the anxiety of not knowing the future and if it's gonna last – might not only take you OUT of the joy state, but ruin your ability to be yourself during the courtship phase. So if this sounds like you, know that there’s nothing wrong with you, I was just like you, and you are among many. This is not forever – so take heart. As usual there are there parts: the what, why and how – the tools! For more of my writing or to make a donation, head to

Gratitude Joy-State Powerup  

Get into the positive, grateful state where you are the most rational. This is to get you smiling and blow your mind a little bit. Share it with someone you love! Enjoy and check out for more smiles xox Sarah May B. mwa mwa mwa

Ep 85: Self-Induced Purgatory - How to Stop Bad Relationship Loops  

When we promise ourselves that we’re never ever going to do the thing we hate, again. Maybe that's the thing your parents did, or the thing we already did that burned us – yet we end up right back in that exact same relationship. Or we might promise ourselves that “this is the last time I take this person back! I KNOW what I want for myself and this is not it!” It’s like being a wind-up toy in that suddenly you find yourself resetting the same loop once again, feeling powerless to stop it when its happening to you. You might say things like, “I have no idea how I ended up in this situation!!” Or, “How could I possibly have made excuses for this person and ignored the signs?” Or even, “Why am I still taking this crap? Why do I allow myself to take this person back again and again? I am MISERABLE. I know I am miserable, and yet I can’t seem to stop.” Maybe when you’re IN a relationship it just feels like love. It’s wonderful and hopeful and passionate and fun. You feel great being appreciated by this other person – they adore you and show you their best, and you feel like you’re finally able to use all your gifts. If you're looking for more of my writing head to and if you're looking for immediate help, I recommend this guy's list: xox Sarah May B.

Ep 84: Therapy 101 - What Kind of Help to Get, Why + How  

An interview with Dr. Sharon Flynn, PhD all about therapy and how it works. How long does therapy take? How do I find a therapist? What's the difference between all the different doctors? How much does it cost? We will discuss various techniques, plus why someone might want to go to therapy in the first place. Hopefully if you've had a "dumb" question about therapy, I will ask it for you! To find Dr. Sharon Flynn, visit

30 Days of Gratitude Challenge  

Hey peeps, this is a practice to help you retrain your brain out of a negative focus. I just started it and I invite you to do the same: 1 negative-into-positive-gratitude per day! (Not in the place of your current gratitudes, in ADDITION to it!) Hope you join me. xo Sarah May B.

Ep 83: Balanced Goal Setting - Enjoying Life While Achieving  

Hi friends, this is really about something I’ve been experiencing lately which is the great energy and ability that comes from doing things that are really challenging and not fun or comfortable for you. I guess because I see in a lot of people who become slaves to habit, a fear or perceived lack of ability when they venture outside that routine. So in many ways, this is about the danger of comfort and how to initiate flexible and changeable self. This is written in part because when you are in a state of continual growth, you can better stay connected to the fact that nothing in life is really such a big deal. Nothing can “take you out” or make you suffer, and better yet – you can do anything and everything you want. You aren’t trapped by the “learned helplessness” that is created by routine – in that you learn from your own behavior, what “you” can do. When you make a habit of trying things that are really hard and make you feel dumb, you stay connected to your “bigger self” – that is you-in-this-entire-lifetime, sense. Because it’s easy to forget when you were a kid and you didn’t care – when you tried before your brain could speak up. I want to help you grow that self a bit more. If you want more of my tools head to and if you like this, please share it! xo

Chronic Fomo: A Recalibration Exercise  

It's easy to get sucked into constant self-measuring and with that, discontent. This is a recalibration for your focus - if you are suffering from Fomo or hyper-focusing on the day-to-day pursuit of better-than. What I call, the hamster seed-gathering loop that is modern day life. If you like this check out for more of my writing and tools. xo Sarah May B.

Ep 82: When We Lose Friends to Love - the Pairing-Off Process that is Adulthood  

Change is tough. New relationships shift old ones. This is for you if someone close to you is falling in love – or changing their priorities. Maybe it’s a new spouse, maybe it’s a new job, maybe it’s a new habit or phase of their life – whatever it is, you can’t be intimately a part of it. What you previously had is suddenly gone: and though occasionally you try to meet them in the same way on the same level – it’s different. They’re not there with you anymore. And that hurts – it makes you sad, and cling to the past. Maybe you don’t feel loved by them anymore. You feel separate – like you don’t know them anymore, even though you know them best! Maybe even better than they know themselves. And yet – they’re going through this new stage and you’re not the same part of it. If you want the blog of my reading list check out later this month. This one's for Donnie - hope you like and that this helps! xo

College Essay Rough Draft C, or Why Therapy is Worth It  

**Warning might make you sad! It's a story that will ground you to the earth and the scope of life, more than make you laugh. With that...This is the story of the moment my entire life changed – I am posting it to give you hope if you suffer from a trauma. Because I have grown to a place of safety and happiness – past mine. I can only see this progress, now in the process of reading it aloud – and not quivering in my voice, or being triggered by it. It doesn’t mean that this story doesn’t mean a great deal to me – it’s just the opposite. It’s that this story – for me – is not something I cannot talk about, anymore. The person it’s about is still very special to me – and will always be a part of me. This is my college essay – and a story about one of the best friends I’ll ever have on this earth. I hope you enjoy. xox Sarah May

Be Alive! Enjoy Being Simply - Yourself  

Hi peeps! This is a mid-dance-party mini power-up episode and my invitation to you to please join me. Because you need to get out of "normal" and just be human once in a while. xo Hope you likee! Check out for all my latest blog and podcast content, and subscribe for updates on The Break-Up Album!

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