Ladies Who Lunch

Ladies Who Lunch

United States

Ladies Who Lunch lets you sit at the table and explore topics often left out of polite conversation with YouTubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes. Write in to join their dialogue about sex, relationships, social phobias and more as they approach life's dilemmas with compassion and a sense of humor. New episodes every week.


Embracing Insecurities  

This week, we dive into the universal experience of feeling insecure. How can you break the cycle of self-hatred and accept yourself? Can your poor self-esteem ruin a relationship? How can you stop comparing your life to what you see on social media? We also explore insecurities between women and men, discuss ways to deal with high school and workplace bullies, and help a listener who fears she'll stay single forever if she can't change her negative inner dialogue. No one is perfect, but you can't constantly beat yourself up for your flaws. How will you start the stream of positive thinking and finally love who you are? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.

Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends?  

The platonic friendship is a subject of much debate - and this week, we attempt to find the answer. Can men and women really have a close, but non-romantic relationship? Should you talk to your "just friend" about the sexual attraction and sexual tension? Why do most guys seek these friendships, and what makes them stay in it? We also discuss what this friendship looks like in the LGBTQ+ community and the YouTube community, how to respond to the doubters, and how to deal with jealous partners. Just because someone has certain genitalia, it doesn't always mean that they're interested in something more. Will you open up the door of friendship and welcome them in? P.S. Thanks to thredUp for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get an EXTRA 40% off your first order at and use the code LWL

When to Let Go of Your Dreams  

This week, we determine when it's time to set aside your dreams. How do you move on after you say goodbye to your aspirations? Why is failure and rejection good for us? How do you find out what really fulfills you? We also compare self-confidence vs. entitlement, explain why we should approach goals with a healthy dose of pessimism, and help a listener who thinks perseverance is taking her nowhere. Although we should all have dreams, the harsh truth of reality is that we can't always get what we want. But sometimes when you let go, you find an even better option that provides you with a meaningful life.

The Different Ways We Fall In Love  

Finding that perfect partner is a fantasy that's been spoon-fed to us since we were born. This week, we take a realistic look at the different ways we fall in love. How do you know when you're in love? How long does it take? Are we more likely to stay in a relationship without the idea of "til death do us part"? We also compare emotional vs. rational love, explain why we hate grand romantic gestures, and help a listener who is considering a passionless arranged marriage. Falling in love could be an instantaneous spark, or a slow, eventual realization. But don't expect to check off that "perfect soulmate" and "happily ever after" on your bucket list - because life and love sure are messy. How will you adjust your expectations to sustain a lasting, loving relationship? P.S. Thank you ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Download the Spring app in the App Store and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.

Seeking Social Acceptance  

In this week's episode, we cope with the feeling of not being accepted by your friends and family. How do you climb out of the pit of self-hatred? How has the internet affected our self-acceptance? We also determine when the need for approval becomes unhealthy, why a comment about Miley Cyrus sparked an argument between Cat and her mom, and whether you can change someone whose values don't align with your identity. Sometimes we don't make the most popular decision, and it steers us away from the easier path. But in the end, what is right for you - living an admiral life that doesn't reflect your authentic self, or living your truth?

Birth Control Choices  

This week, we lay out some popular birth control methods that could work for you. Which form of birth control is the most reliable? How do you maximize the effectiveness? Why else would you want to use birth control, other than to avoid pregnancy? We also explain why we're both anti pill, why older women were skeptical of Cat's IUD, and what side effects we dread the most. The range of options can be intimidating, and it takes some experimentation (with the possibility of physical pain). But remember - it's always better to be safe than sorry.

The Quarter-Life Crisis  

Now that 2017 has arrived, we all feel a little anxious about what we still haven't accomplished - but believe we "should." So this week, we sort out the struggles of the common quarter-life crisis. Why do we experience these growing pains at this particular age? How can you find out what fulfills you and turn it into your career? We also share Ingrid's prescription for having a good day, the dilemma of loving your job but needing more purpose, and a letter from a listener who feels guilty for abandoning her 12-year dream. As evolving creatures, we'll inevitably want to stir up the status quo and start a new journey - even if the path or the ultimate destination isn't clear. How will you say goodbye to the life you know and move forward to find what's meaningful to you?

Marriage: True Love or a Trap? (Rebroadcast)  

We're off for the holidays, but we'll be back with new episodes next week! In the meantime, we're sharing one of our favorites, when our best friends Eileen and Carrie joined us to discuss the hype around marriage. Why has marriage become the ultimate goal? Will we ever tie the knot? Can a couple still love each other but not be in love? We also share our biggest fears about marriage, the media's impact on our views, and the fate of our last names after the honeymoon. Marriage has been redefined from a transaction, an evolutionary necessity, a testament of love - but honestly, it's whatever you want it to be. What does marriage mean to you?

Living in Post-Election Limbo  

Now that we've had some time to digest the results of the election, we dig into our experiences through the aftermath. As Hillary supporters, how are we dealing with Trump fans? What have been the benefits of this outcome? We also explain why we're glad this burst our bubbles, how you can be more active about issues that worry you, and how to politely confront relatives about their dismissive political comments. Regardless of the results, we're all human beings with different ideas of the truth. So instead of labelling each other as good or evil, we need to recognize and respect that everyone has a right to their own beliefs. What will you do to keep an open mind and listen to the hearts of others in all political parties? P.S. Thank you to Texture for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! Go to for your free 14-day trial.

How to Survive Family Time During the Holidays  

The holidays are fast approaching, which can be exciting - but also incredibly stressful. So this week, we help you define your own holiday joy. How can you prevent holiday loneliness? What should you do when family conflict arises? We also reveal a game plan for surviving the parties from beginning to end, suggest ways to create your own holiday traditions, and share advice to a listener who dreads family gatherings because of a past traumatic event. Tis the season to celebrate, but don't let the expectations of others to ruin it. What will you do to enjoy your own holiday cheer?

Losing the Fear Of Losing Your Virginity  

This week, we break into some common problems about virginity. How will you know when you're ready? What are the consequences you should consider before losing your virginity? How can you get over sex anxiety? We also explain whether or not you should practice with a vibrator, and how to talk to your partner about having your first sexual experience. No matter how your sex ed class defined virginity - as a gift, a stigma, a rite of passage, or a natural thing - it's yours to own, and you can do whatever you darn well please with it. Will you choose to ditch the fears and let virginity empower you?

Figuring Out Family Dynamics  

This week, special guest Meg DeAngelis joins our exploration through the impact of family in personal growth. What's the difference between being an only child, sharing families, and having a twin? Why are we more likely to fight with parents instead of friends? What are the perks of living alone? We also discuss how we survived past roommates, why Cat actually wants her sister to move to LA, and how to protect yourself from your concern for toxic family members. We can't control who ends up in our family tree - but we can control our expectations of them. Through the ups, the downs, the hugs, the tears - how will you let your family relationships affect your individuality?

Fetishes & Fantasies  

In this week's episode, we strip down the conversation around sexual fantasies and fetishes. How should you talk to your partner about your fantasy? Why is it considered weird if a woman joins the "locker room talk"? Would we ever try group sex? We also reveal what scenarios turn us on, what sexual device every lady should carry around, and whether or not it's wrong to shame the kink. Sharing your fetishes or fantasies can be awkward and uncomfortable. But once the idea is out in the open, just have fun with it. Will you lift the taboo and seek out your sexual desires?

Unveiling the Mask of Makeup  

This week, we peel off the layers of issues surrounding makeup. Does makeup undermine feminism? Why do - or don't - people use makeup? At what point does your self-worth rely too much on your beauty routine? We also debate why wearing makeup in the workplace can be a lose-lose situation, why Cat had a makeup-free meetup, and how to stop seeking validation for your appearance. Whether you use makeup as a creative outlet, a way to have "me time," or as a confidence booster, it should always be your choice. How do you define your own beauty?

Attacking Your Anxiety  

This week, we dive into the deep, dark pool of anxiety. What are some common anxiety symptoms? How can you calm yourself during panic attacks? How do you find an anxiety treatment that works for you? We also explore the effects of therapy and medication, explain why sometimes it's best to give up, and help a listener whose anxiety is affecting her personality. Battling your anxiety seems like a daunting task, but avoidance will only make it worse. Will you take the baby steps to stop living in fear?

No Shame in Sex Drives  

In this week's episode, we take a trip through sex drives. Why do we assume men have higher sex drives than women? Will your libido die out as you age, or does it get stronger? How can we prevent the shame placed on women for acting on their sexual desires? We also explore how to break free from a suppressed sex drive, why women in their 30s are especially horny, and how to communicate to your partner if you want sex but they're never in the mood. Everyone's sex drive is different, so we shouldn't let general cultural standards dictate our sexual behavior. When will you proudly claim your spot on the sex drive spectrum?

Don't Tell Me How To Dress  

This week, we dissect the problematic idea of "dressing your age." Why are we so quick to criticize the appearances of older women? Is there really a certain way adults should dress? How do you know if your beauty routine is feeding into cultural expectations? We also share our opinions on wrinkles, the effects of advertising in the beauty industry, and the best responses to judgment about fashion decisions and big boobs. Society has convinced us that you need to behave, look, and dress a certain way as the years go by - but at the end of the day it's your body, your choice. How will you embrace your body's natural progression and grow comfortable in your own skin?

Break the Habit of Lying  

In this week's episode, we sort through the many factors of lying. Why do people lie? Are there situations when too much honesty can be cruel? How do you stop lying? We also compare compulsive liars vs. pathological liars, explore lying as a coping mechanism, and help a listener forgive herself for being untruthful about her sexuality. Confessing the facts is often followed by guilt, shame, and pain. But accepting a life of deceit is a lie to yourself, which can be the most dangerous of all. Will you overcome the fear and take a chance on the truth?

The #Debate  

In this episode, we jump into the storm of the 2016 presidential debate. Are Trump's obscene comments justified as common "locker room talk"? As feminists, could we ever empathize with Trump supporters? What topics do we want them to discuss in the next debate? We also share our political evolutions from conservatives to liberals, Clinton's biggest weaknesses, and our greatest fears about a Trump presidency. Neither candidate is perfect, but take a good, long look at the options. Do you want a president who breaks societal barriers and actually understands federal policies? Or a racist who perpetuates violence and sexual assault?

The Female Orgasm  

This week, sex educator Laci Green joins us to clear up the fog surrounding the female orgasm. What are the different ways to have an orgasm? How can you overcome the stigma around women having orgasms? We also debunk the worst media myths about sex, share the details of Ingrid's most intense orgasm ever, explore the female sexual anatomy, and explain how to effectively communicate to your partner to achieve an orgasm. Since this topic has often been considered taboo, the confusion can make it difficult to climax. How will you break down these walls to get the orgasm you deserve? P.S. This episode is brought to you by Casper. Thanks Casper!

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