Ladies Who Lunch

Ladies Who Lunch

United States

Ladies Who Lunch lets you sit at the table and explore topics often left out of polite conversation with YouTubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes. Write in to join their dialogue about sex, relationships, social phobias and more as they approach life's dilemmas with compassion and a sense of humor. New episodes every week.

Episodes

Color in the Queer Community (with Melantha Hodge)  

As Pride Month comes to an end, we chat with our friend Melantha Hodge about working in the music industry as a gay woman of color. How has it affected the way she's been treated by men in the business? Why do certain cultures react differently to members of the gay community? We also debate whether or not the LGBTQ flag should also represent race, and help a listener who doesn't feel the need to come out about her sexuality. Society's constant need for labels can pressure you to publicize parts of yourself, even if that's out of your comfort zone. Whether you announce this personal information, or keep it private, how will you ultimately stick to your own decisions? P.S. Thank you Vanity Planet! Go to vanityplanet.com/ladieswholunchvibe and get 50% off your first order with the code LWLvibe

The Journey of Gender Fluidity  

We continue Pride Month with special guest Connor Manning, who shares the experience of identifying as gender fluid. What is gender fluidity? How do you know if you're non-binary? We also ask Connor about which pronouns are preferred, how to deal with frustration when you're misunderstood, and how to identify as a male even if you don't relate to society's idea of masculinity. It could take a while for others to fully accept your gender fluidity, but all that matters is that you accept yourself. You're free to become whoever you want to be - so take charge and start leading the life you deserve. P.S. We love RXBAR! Get 25% off your first order at RXBAR.com/LWL and use promo code LWL P.P.S. Thanks to Sunbasket! Go to Sunbasket.com/LWL and get your first three meals FREE

Taking Pride in Your Bisexuality (with Alayna Fender)  

This week, our friend Alayna Fender shares her personal story of being bisexual. What are the ways we define bisexuality? Why does the LGBTQ community scrutinize people who are bisexual? We also explore the negative stereotypes surrounding this identity, and help a listener who fears that she'll be deemed "not queer enough" for having a boyfriend. Although it's common to feel these insecurities, just know that you are always worthy of your sexual identity. How will you own up to it and celebrate who you truly are? P.S. Thanks to Jet for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first 2 orders over $35 at Jet.com by using the promo code LWL at check out. P.P.S. Thanks to LOLA for supporting this podcast! To get 60% of your first order, visit mylola.com and enter LWL when you subscribe.

Being a Gay Woman (with Cammie Scott and Alexis G. Zall)  

We start our LGBTQ+ month with special guests Cammie Scott and Alexis G. Zall to talk about all things lesbian. Is there more pressure to look or behave a certain way after coming out? How can you deal with people who don't believe that you're gay? We also debate our feelings on the term "lesbian," investigate the stereotype that gay women hate men, and help a listener who is struggling with internal homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. We all tend to label ourselves and consequently stress about people's opinions on our sexual identities. But how will you dump that mentality, embrace your sexual fluidity, and explore your true self? P.S. Thank you Pet Parcel for supporting our podcast! Go to petparcel.net and get 10% off your first order with the code LWL10. P.P.S. Thanks to Wag! Sign up at wagwalking.com and you’ll get your first walk FREE

Reflecting on Mental Health Month  

As May comes to an end, we review our conversations focused on mental health. What were the biggest surprises we learned? Did we change our opinions about "13 Reasons Why"? We also share a listener's new journey with antidepressants after moving to a foreign country, and read a letter about dealing with a bipolar relative whose behavior has taken a complete 180 for the worse. Mental illness doesn't discriminate, and it affects more people than you might think. The pain and shame is often swept under the rug - but just by starting a dialogue around it, we can support those in need of healing. P.S. Thanks to Audible! Listen to Audible’s new original series Where Should We Begin? Details at audible.com/esther. Audible and Amazon Prime members listen free. P.P.S. Thank you ShopSpring! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.

The "13 Reasons Why" Controversy  

This week, we share our "13 Reasons Why" debate from Playlist Live with special guests Kati Morton and Lisa Filipelli. Where did the show succeed, but also fail? Was the graphic visual of Hannah Baker's suicide just a ploy to get attention? We also explain why we're frustrated with the depiction of mental health treatment and school counselors, why this show panders to vulnerable teens, and where to get help if you're struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. There are resources and people that will help you, so stay strong and know that there is hope. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem - but much better solutions are out there too. P.S. Thanks to Audible for supporting our podcast! Listen to Audible’s new original series: Where Should We Begin? Details at audible.com/esther. Audible and Amazon Prime members listen free. P.P.S. Thank you Pet Parcel! Go to petparcel.net and get 10% off your first order with the code LWL10.

Overcome Your Eating Disorder  

To continue Mental Health Awareness Month, Kati Morton is back to help us address the biggest questions on eating disorders. What causes people to have anorexia, binge eating, or bulimia? How can you get treatment for your ED? How can you support someone who is in the recovery process? We also discuss the dangers of going into starvation mode, how we can use positive language about our bodies, how to tell your parents that you have an eating disorder, and how to fight through the anxiety of eating out. The ED voice can be loud, but change is possible if you take the steps to beat it. How will you start switching your inner dialogue about food and repair the relationship with your body? P.S. We love ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout. P.P.S. Also thanks to Wag! for supporting our podcast. Download Wag! on iTunes or Google Play and sign up to get your first walk FREE

What Is OCD?  

This week, licensed therapist and professional mental health expert Kati Morton helps us answer your questions about obsessive compulsive disorder. What are the symptoms of OCD? How can you treat it? Is self-diagnosing reliable? We also dive into your letters about overcoming the stigma around mental health, differentiating intrusive thoughts vs. homosexual thoughts, and telling your therapist that their methods aren't working. Taking care of yourself is your number one priority, so get the help that fits you best. It's going to be a challenge to sit with the discomfort, but you can also sit with the comfort of knowing that it will get better. P.S. Thank you LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to LeTote.com and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.

Trying Out Therapy  

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we take an exploration through therapy. What should you expect from a therapist? Why do people go to therapy? Do you always have to talk about your deep emotional issues? We also compare different types of therapy, psychologists vs. psychiatrists, and the ways we interact with our own therapists. Meeting with a mental health professional can be like dating - it's a little awkward at first, and it might take a few tries before you discover a type who fits your needs. But once you find the right therapist, you'll soon learn that the search is totally worthwhile. P.S. Thanks to Jet for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get $10 off your first 3 orders over $35 at jet.com by using the promo code LWL at check out.

Forgiving Your Parents  

Our journey through reconciliation finishes up with the difficulties of forgiving our parents. How can you move past the inevitable pain that enters this relationship? If you forgive them, are you condoning their behavior? We also help a listener who resents her mother for creating an unstable childhood, and answer a letter about receiving an apology - but still feeling unheard. Parents aren't perfect, and they're going to affect us whether we like it or not. How will you leave the wounded child behind, make room for compassion, and take responsibility for your future with or without them? P.S. Thank you ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.

When Women Say "I'm Sorry"  

Apologizing is an important step towards reconciliation, but sometimes we say "sorry" too much. Why do women typically apologize more than men? Can you still be a feminist and use these undermining words? How can you be more aware of them in your everyday speech? We also investigate the issues of assuming girls are "more difficult," the dilemma of policing how women speak, and a letter from a listener who wants to stop over-apologizing at work. Language is one of the essential ways we express ourselves, and ultimately your vocabulary is your choice. How will your use of words make you feel you proud and confident about who you are? P.S. Thank you LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to LeTote.com and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.

Releasing Resentment Towards Ourselves  

Our reconciliation theme continues with forgiveness towards ourselves and our past. How do you transition from bitterness towards compassion? Can you take too much responsibility for painful events in your life? As adults, how can we help younger generations recognize when they aren't accountable for difficult times? We also discuss a listener's guilt for unintentionally hurting her ex, another listener's choice to not reconcile with her absent father, and a letter from a victim who hates how her past self reacted to a traumatic event. Although you should allow yourself to feel anger and frustration for the dark memories, you can't let them haunt you for the rest of your life. How will you free yourself from this shadow and instead, start celebrating your successes? P.S. Thank you thredUP for supporting our podcast! Go to thredUP.com/LWL and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.

Reconciling With An Ex  

To start this month's theme of reconciliation, we dive into the process of amending past romantic relationships. How do you know if you should let an ex re-enter your life? What red flags indicate that getting back together is a bad idea? We also debate the ways we show forgiveness, and read three letters about reconciling with past partners - all which end in very different ways. You're entitled to the feelings of pain and bitterness from a breakup, but replaying the past can prevent you from moving forward. What will you do to stop harboring those emotions and start living in the present? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for their support of Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.

A Wrap Up on Honesty  

Now that we've thoroughly explored this month's theme of honesty, we wrap it up by sharing your responses and experiences with this incredibly complex topic. When should someone seek professional help for their compulsion to lie? How do you come clean about your past false claims? We also read a listener's story about the consequences of over sharing, and reflect on the biggest takeaways we learned from this month's discussions with each other and of course - all of you. P.S. Thanks to LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to LeTote.com and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.

When Silence Becomes Lying  

We wrap up our honesty series with the murky grey topic of lying by omission. Is a white lie just as bad as a straight out lie? When is it okay not to share all the information? Should you tell your partner about harmless flirting and all your exes? We also read a letter about the consequences of hiding your past from your kids, and help another listener who fears that being honest will ruin a relationship that has already survived so much. You might think that withholding details from someone will protect them from the harsh pain of the truth. But if staying silent will save your own neck, that's when you should reevaluate - whose self-interest are you really serving? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Download the Spring app in the App Store and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.

Being Honest with Yourself  

Our journey through honesty travels into the difficulties of being truthful with ourselves. How can you be more aware of your shortcomings? Are you necessarily a bad person for lying about who you are? Should we always strive for self-improvement, or is there a point when we should just accept our faults? We also determine why we lie to ourselves, explore the fear of judgment for revealing our raw identity, and help a listener who is finally comfortable with her sexuality - but now she has to be dishonest with everyone else. You can work on your imperfections, or let them box you in. Ultimately it's in your control. How will you acknowledge your flaws and break through the labels that you've stuck on yourself? P.S. Big thanks to thredUP for supporting our podcast! Go to thredUP.com/LWL and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.

The Bitter Feeling of Being Betrayed  

To continue this month's theme of honesty, we travel through the frustrating process of being betrayed. How do you overcome trust issues after a friend or partner has lied to you? Why do we gaslight other people? We also share a letter from a victim who can't hold a grudge against his betrayers, and help another listener whose boyfriend became far from the man she once loved. We're often deceived by those we love most, which makes the experience so painful to bear. But their redemption is not your responsibility. How will you move past their cloud of deception and recreate your own reality?

When Fake News Becomes a Real Problem  

We launch our new, month-long honesty series by sifting through the issue of fake news. How do you know which news stories and sources are trustworthy? Should social media sites be responsible for news accuracy and neutrality? How can you avoid getting trapped in your own echo chamber? We also discuss the dangers of Drumpf's war with the press, the appeal of clickbait titles, and a letter from a listener who is a minority, a feminist, and a Drumpf supporter - but hasn't felt discrimination until the media and liberals started outcasting conservatives. Although it takes a lot of effort to read and research accurate stories, we need to support the outlets that take the time to really investigate the truth. If their voices are silenced, how will we ever know what is fact or fiction? P.S. Thank you ThredUp for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to thredUP.com/LWL and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.

Dealing with Depression  

This week, we sink into the isolating, yet common experience of depression. What causes depression? What are the symptoms? Why are women more likely than men to suffer from this mental disorder? We also share Cat's journey with antidepressants, different ways to treat depression, and a listener letter about helping a loved one who won't take the initiative to get better. These negative emotions can be completely random, or born out of crisis - but either way, you're not alone in this battle. How will you get back on your feet and stop depression from consuming who you are? P.S. Thanks to Audible for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get a free audiobook with a free 30 day trial at Audible.com/lwl.

Embracing Insecurities  

This week, we dive into the universal experience of feeling insecure. How can you break the cycle of self-hatred and accept yourself? Can your poor self-esteem ruin a relationship? How can you stop comparing your life to what you see on social media? We also explore insecurities between women and men, discuss ways to deal with high school and workplace bullies, and help a listener who fears she'll stay single forever if she can't change her negative inner dialogue. No one is perfect, but you can't constantly beat yourself up for your flaws. How will you start the stream of positive thinking and finally love who you are? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! Go to shopspring.com and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.

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