Ladies Who Lunch

Ladies Who Lunch

United States

Ladies Who Lunch lets you sit at the table and explore topics often left out of polite conversation with YouTubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes. Write in to join their dialogue about sex, relationships, social phobias and more as they approach life's dilemmas with compassion and a sense of humor. New episodes every week.


Forgiving Your Parents  

Our journey through reconciliation finishes up with the difficulties of forgiving our parents. How can you move past the inevitable pain that enters this relationship? If you forgive them, are you condoning their behavior? We also help a listener who resents her mother for creating an unstable childhood, and answer a letter about receiving an apology - but still feeling unheard. Parents aren't perfect, and they're going to affect us whether we like it or not. How will you leave the wounded child behind, make room for compassion, and take responsibility for your future with or without them? P.S. Thank you ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.

When Women Say "I'm Sorry"  

Apologizing is an important step towards reconciliation, but sometimes we say "sorry" too much. Why do women typically apologize more than men? Can you still be a feminist and use these undermining words? How can you be more aware of them in your everyday speech? We also investigate the issues of assuming girls are "more difficult," the dilemma of policing how women speak, and a letter from a listener who wants to stop over-apologizing at work. Language is one of the essential ways we express ourselves, and ultimately your vocabulary is your choice. How will your use of words make you feel you proud and confident about who you are? P.S. Thank you LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.

Releasing Resentment Towards Ourselves  

Our reconciliation theme continues with forgiveness towards ourselves and our past. How do you transition from bitterness towards compassion? Can you take too much responsibility for painful events in your life? As adults, how can we help younger generations recognize when they aren't accountable for difficult times? We also discuss a listener's guilt for unintentionally hurting her ex, another listener's choice to not reconcile with her absent father, and a letter from a victim who hates how her past self reacted to a traumatic event. Although you should allow yourself to feel anger and frustration for the dark memories, you can't let them haunt you for the rest of your life. How will you free yourself from this shadow and instead, start celebrating your successes? P.S. Thank you thredUP for supporting our podcast! Go to and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.

Reconciling With An Ex  

To start this month's theme of reconciliation, we dive into the process of amending past romantic relationships. How do you know if you should let an ex re-enter your life? What red flags indicate that getting back together is a bad idea? We also debate the ways we show forgiveness, and read three letters about reconciling with past partners - all which end in very different ways. You're entitled to the feelings of pain and bitterness from a breakup, but replaying the past can prevent you from moving forward. What will you do to stop harboring those emotions and start living in the present? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for their support of Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.

A Wrap Up on Honesty  

Now that we've thoroughly explored this month's theme of honesty, we wrap it up by sharing your responses and experiences with this incredibly complex topic. When should someone seek professional help for their compulsion to lie? How do you come clean about your past false claims? We also read a listener's story about the consequences of over sharing, and reflect on the biggest takeaways we learned from this month's discussions with each other and of course - all of you. P.S. Thanks to LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.

When Silence Becomes Lying  

We wrap up our honesty series with the murky grey topic of lying by omission. Is a white lie just as bad as a straight out lie? When is it okay not to share all the information? Should you tell your partner about harmless flirting and all your exes? We also read a letter about the consequences of hiding your past from your kids, and help another listener who fears that being honest will ruin a relationship that has already survived so much. You might think that withholding details from someone will protect them from the harsh pain of the truth. But if staying silent will save your own neck, that's when you should reevaluate - whose self-interest are you really serving? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Download the Spring app in the App Store and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.

Being Honest with Yourself  

Our journey through honesty travels into the difficulties of being truthful with ourselves. How can you be more aware of your shortcomings? Are you necessarily a bad person for lying about who you are? Should we always strive for self-improvement, or is there a point when we should just accept our faults? We also determine why we lie to ourselves, explore the fear of judgment for revealing our raw identity, and help a listener who is finally comfortable with her sexuality - but now she has to be dishonest with everyone else. You can work on your imperfections, or let them box you in. Ultimately it's in your control. How will you acknowledge your flaws and break through the labels that you've stuck on yourself? P.S. Big thanks to thredUP for supporting our podcast! Go to and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.

The Bitter Feeling of Being Betrayed  

To continue this month's theme of honesty, we travel through the frustrating process of being betrayed. How do you overcome trust issues after a friend or partner has lied to you? Why do we gaslight other people? We also share a letter from a victim who can't hold a grudge against his betrayers, and help another listener whose boyfriend became far from the man she once loved. We're often deceived by those we love most, which makes the experience so painful to bear. But their redemption is not your responsibility. How will you move past their cloud of deception and recreate your own reality?

When Fake News Becomes a Real Problem  

We launch our new, month-long honesty series by sifting through the issue of fake news. How do you know which news stories and sources are trustworthy? Should social media sites be responsible for news accuracy and neutrality? How can you avoid getting trapped in your own echo chamber? We also discuss the dangers of Drumpf's war with the press, the appeal of clickbait titles, and a letter from a listener who is a minority, a feminist, and a Drumpf supporter - but hasn't felt discrimination until the media and liberals started outcasting conservatives. Although it takes a lot of effort to read and research accurate stories, we need to support the outlets that take the time to really investigate the truth. If their voices are silenced, how will we ever know what is fact or fiction? P.S. Thank you ThredUp for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.

Dealing with Depression  

This week, we sink into the isolating, yet common experience of depression. What causes depression? What are the symptoms? Why are women more likely than men to suffer from this mental disorder? We also share Cat's journey with antidepressants, different ways to treat depression, and a listener letter about helping a loved one who won't take the initiative to get better. These negative emotions can be completely random, or born out of crisis - but either way, you're not alone in this battle. How will you get back on your feet and stop depression from consuming who you are? P.S. Thanks to Audible for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get a free audiobook with a free 30 day trial at

Embracing Insecurities  

This week, we dive into the universal experience of feeling insecure. How can you break the cycle of self-hatred and accept yourself? Can your poor self-esteem ruin a relationship? How can you stop comparing your life to what you see on social media? We also explore insecurities between women and men, discuss ways to deal with high school and workplace bullies, and help a listener who fears she'll stay single forever if she can't change her negative inner dialogue. No one is perfect, but you can't constantly beat yourself up for your flaws. How will you start the stream of positive thinking and finally love who you are? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.

Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends?  

The platonic friendship is a subject of much debate - and this week, we attempt to find the answer. Can men and women really have a close, but non-romantic relationship? Should you talk to your "just friend" about the sexual attraction and sexual tension? Why do most guys seek these friendships, and what makes them stay in it? We also discuss what this friendship looks like in the LGBTQ+ community and the YouTube community, how to respond to the doubters, and how to deal with jealous partners. Just because someone has certain genitalia, it doesn't always mean that they're interested in something more. Will you open up the door of friendship and welcome them in? P.S. Thanks to thredUp for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get an EXTRA 40% off your first order at and use the code LWL

When to Let Go of Your Dreams  

This week, we determine when it's time to set aside your dreams. How do you move on after you say goodbye to your aspirations? Why is failure and rejection good for us? How do you find out what really fulfills you? We also compare self-confidence vs. entitlement, explain why we should approach goals with a healthy dose of pessimism, and help a listener who thinks perseverance is taking her nowhere. Although we should all have dreams, the harsh truth of reality is that we can't always get what we want. But sometimes when you let go, you find an even better option that provides you with a meaningful life.

The Different Ways We Fall In Love  

Finding that perfect partner is a fantasy that's been spoon-fed to us since we were born. This week, we take a realistic look at the different ways we fall in love. How do you know when you're in love? How long does it take? Are we more likely to stay in a relationship without the idea of "til death do us part"? We also compare emotional vs. rational love, explain why we hate grand romantic gestures, and help a listener who is considering a passionless arranged marriage. Falling in love could be an instantaneous spark, or a slow, eventual realization. But don't expect to check off that "perfect soulmate" and "happily ever after" on your bucket list - because life and love sure are messy. How will you adjust your expectations to sustain a lasting, loving relationship? P.S. Thank you ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Download the Spring app in the App Store and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.

Seeking Social Acceptance  

In this week's episode, we cope with the feeling of not being accepted by your friends and family. How do you climb out of the pit of self-hatred? How has the internet affected our self-acceptance? We also determine when the need for approval becomes unhealthy, why a comment about Miley Cyrus sparked an argument between Cat and her mom, and whether you can change someone whose values don't align with your identity. Sometimes we don't make the most popular decision, and it steers us away from the easier path. But in the end, what is right for you - living an admiral life that doesn't reflect your authentic self, or living your truth?

Birth Control Choices  

This week, we lay out some popular birth control methods that could work for you. Which form of birth control is the most reliable? How do you maximize the effectiveness? Why else would you want to use birth control, other than to avoid pregnancy? We also explain why we're both anti pill, why older women were skeptical of Cat's IUD, and what side effects we dread the most. The range of options can be intimidating, and it takes some experimentation (with the possibility of physical pain). But remember - it's always better to be safe than sorry.

The Quarter-Life Crisis  

Now that 2017 has arrived, we all feel a little anxious about what we still haven't accomplished - but believe we "should." So this week, we sort out the struggles of the common quarter-life crisis. Why do we experience these growing pains at this particular age? How can you find out what fulfills you and turn it into your career? We also share Ingrid's prescription for having a good day, the dilemma of loving your job but needing more purpose, and a letter from a listener who feels guilty for abandoning her 12-year dream. As evolving creatures, we'll inevitably want to stir up the status quo and start a new journey - even if the path or the ultimate destination isn't clear. How will you say goodbye to the life you know and move forward to find what's meaningful to you?

Marriage: True Love or a Trap? (Rebroadcast)  

We're off for the holidays, but we'll be back with new episodes next week! In the meantime, we're sharing one of our favorites, when our best friends Eileen and Carrie joined us to discuss the hype around marriage. Why has marriage become the ultimate goal? Will we ever tie the knot? Can a couple still love each other but not be in love? We also share our biggest fears about marriage, the media's impact on our views, and the fate of our last names after the honeymoon. Marriage has been redefined from a transaction, an evolutionary necessity, a testament of love - but honestly, it's whatever you want it to be. What does marriage mean to you?

Living in Post-Election Limbo  

Now that we've had some time to digest the results of the election, we dig into our experiences through the aftermath. As Hillary supporters, how are we dealing with Trump fans? What have been the benefits of this outcome? We also explain why we're glad this burst our bubbles, how you can be more active about issues that worry you, and how to politely confront relatives about their dismissive political comments. Regardless of the results, we're all human beings with different ideas of the truth. So instead of labelling each other as good or evil, we need to recognize and respect that everyone has a right to their own beliefs. What will you do to keep an open mind and listen to the hearts of others in all political parties? P.S. Thank you to Texture for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! Go to for your free 14-day trial.

How to Survive Family Time During the Holidays  

The holidays are fast approaching, which can be exciting - but also incredibly stressful. So this week, we help you define your own holiday joy. How can you prevent holiday loneliness? What should you do when family conflict arises? We also reveal a game plan for surviving the parties from beginning to end, suggest ways to create your own holiday traditions, and share advice to a listener who dreads family gatherings because of a past traumatic event. Tis the season to celebrate, but don't let the expectations of others to ruin it. What will you do to enjoy your own holiday cheer?

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