Let It Be

Let It Be


Thoughtful conversations on what it means to do less and be more.


041: Gratitude  

Kelly has never hidden the fact that she has a complicated relationship with gratitude, as for her, it ties so closely to privilege and ‘first world problems’ . Brooke, on the other hand, is a big fan practising gratitude and credits it with helping her overcome some of the lowest moments over the past few years. 

Today they talk about why gratitude can so quickly become a guilt-laden exercise (I’m so lucky and others are not) and one that works against itself, as well as offering some practical ways of incorporating more gratitude into your day without slipping into Pollyanna Mode.

Kel also comes to realise the core of some of her discomfort with gratitude, and how that can impact her ability to fully feel her emotions (the good and the bad). Kel and Brooke also talk about how to install gratitude (but not guilt) into their kids.

Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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040: Manson’s Law of Avoidance  

Kelly has recently finished reading Mark Manson’s new book, The Subtle Art of Not giving a F*** and was struck hard by what he calls Manson’s Law of Avoidance.

So aside from the fact that Kel now wants to discover and name a law of something (Exeter’s Law of Providing Value in Conversation has a nice ring to it?) the law itself really struck a chord.

Manson explains that, “The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid doing it.”

“That means that the more something threatens to change how you view yourself, how you believe yourself to be, the more you will procrastinate ever getting around to doing it.”

Given recent episodes where Kelly and Brooke have discussed change and assumptions and the pain involved in shifting our habits, this is an awesome topic to dive deep in to. Not surprisingly, they come at it from very different places.

Kelly from a place of personal improvement and Brooke from a place of fear. What neither of them really expected though was for it to be so uncomfortable, and to delve in to the idea of not being universally liked.


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039: On Writing  

In today’s episode Brooke and Kel talk all about writing. Specifically, what it is they like about it, what they find difficult and why they continue to write in spite of the fact that it can be difficult.

Brooke is in the middle of writing her first book while Kelly is actually in the process of completing her third book right now, so writing is very much front and centre for both of them. As people who write (albeit less now that they’re podcasting multiple times every week – the irony is strong in this one!) the question is: why? Why do we write? Why is it important to commit our thoughts to the page on a regular basis.

Kelly talks a lot about the impact she wants her words to have on the world, while Brooke finds writing helpful in figuring out exactly what she’s thinking. Brooke also shares that she’s really enjoying the writing process so far – though maybe that’s because her deadline is still a comfortable distance away. 

Both Kel and Brooke have other writers they look up to, and both girls share their tips and insights from their respective (unofficial!) writing mentors.

Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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038: Assumptions  

Have you ever met someone who made you challenge your assumptions? Or someone who forced you to stop and question the stories you were telling yourself?    In today's episode Kelly talks about the frustrating experience of meeting someone like this - a complete contrarian whose constant questioning challenged her to rethink her entire worldview - and the changes that have come as a result. This experience leads in to a great conversation between Brooke and Kel about the stories we tell ourselves and the assumptions we make, as well as the challenge that is changing them.    Both Brooke and Kel have had experiences that forced them to challenge their assumptions, and today Brooke talks about her recent realisation regarding chakra cleansing (YES. SERIOUSLY.)  It's always interesting to dig in to the stories we tell ourselves and the obstacles they put in our way, but as Kel and Brooke discuss today, so much growth lies on the other side of them it's almost always worth asking the question, "Why?"    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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037: Change  

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” (Nelson Mandela)

Both Kel and Brooke have had to make some pretty massive life changes after reaching breaking point over the past few years, and in today's episode they talk about change - more specifically, why they think it took them getting to that breaking point to actually make the changes they needed.

What both Brooke and Kel realise in today's conversation is that self-awareness is key in making adjustments in life before things get to breaking point, but also going through the breakdown and subsequent transformation is what has given them that self-awareness.

Kelly also talks through a blog post of hers that explores the seven reasons you can’t make changes you want (and how to overcome them), which includes:

We feel trapped/like we have no options I’ve tried changing but nothing works This is just how life is I know changes need to be made, but I’m too exhausted People won’t accept the changes I need to make unless things are desperate Surely if I just keep pushing I’ll get there (but we don't actually know what 'there' looks like I don’t deserve anything better than what I’ve got right now

Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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036: Comfort Zones  

It's not often Kelly and Brooke get to record their conversations in person, so when they knew they'd be attending the Problogger conference together in early September, it was too good an opportunity to pass by.    Given previous episodes where both Brooke and Kel have shared their discomfort at attending big, busy events, networking, meeting new people and walking in to a room full of strangers, they thought a discussion on comfort zones would be fascinating. Add to that the fact that Kel didn't have the opportunity to prepare ahead of recording, and you have a very timely exploration of comfort/discomfort.    Turns out Kel and Brooke have similar ideas on what happens when they stay inside their comfort zones too long, as well as what happens when we intentionally put ourselves outside them. Kel talks about the idea that 'nothing good ever comes on this side of your comfort zone' and both she and Brooke share some examples of a time where getting comfortable with being uncomfortable has paid off.   Brooke also talks about being more confident to head out of her comfort zone these days, and the need to return to it sometimes in order to recallibrate and learn.   Such a fun and interesting conversation this week and great listening for anyone looking to expand into the unknown or uncomfortable - even just a little.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!  

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035: Home  

This week's episode explores the idea of 'home' which turns out to be a super fascinating topic for Brooke and Kel as they really couldn't be more different.

Kel prefers to be at her home in Perth more than anywhere else in the world, whereas Brooke has an insatiable wanderlust and would happily live on the road forever. In fact, she finds herself feeling anxious just at the thought of having to stay in one place for the rest of her life!

In this episode Kel talks about why home, as a place, is so important to her and how it helps her to feel at ease and in control of life. Conversely, Brooke shares why home isn't a place to her, but rather the rituals and relationships that happen inside a place.

Interestingly though, Brooke is discovering that as her kids get older and roots start to grow a little deeper, there is a slowly growing feeling of being anchored and she talks a little about why that's challenging for her.

One thing both Kel and Brooke agree on though is the idea of home being a place of security and safety, and how fortunate they are that this is the case.

Such an interesting one this week!

Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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034: Introversion  

If you've listened to the show for any length of time you might suspect that Brooke and Kel are somewhat introverted, (or possibly a whole lot introverted!) and in today's episode they chat about what that means to them, how it impacted them growing up and the obstacles and benefits of being introverted as an adult.    They talk about the difference between being introverted and being shy, and why you can be one without the other, as well as coping strategies they both use when they find themselves in intense social situations. Brooke also wants to make something clear - she isn't aloof! She simply has a life-long case of RBF.    Getting to know ourselves - our quirks, strengths, weaknesses and weirdnesses - is a key part of creating a more contented life, and both Brooke and Kel have done some hardcore exploring over the past few years. Understanding who they are and why they tick has helped to not only create that contented life of more being and less doing, but it's also lead them to a greater sense of calm and self acceptance too. Which has little to do with being an introvert and more to do with spending time getting to know ourselves.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!  

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033: Resentment  

After an impromptu mid-year break Kel and Brooke are back!    We all experience the red-hot bubbling feeling of resentment occasionally - be it in a romantic, professional or social relationship - and in this episode Brooke and Kel dive into what resentment actually is, how they personally experience it and what measures they've put in place to minimise the negative impact it's had on their lives.    Kel shares a recent experience with resentment at home, how it manifested itself, and what she did to stop it from becoming a poisonous influence on her relationship. Brooke talks about the realisation that so much of her anger stems from resentment, and specifically her frustration with not communicating clearly what she needs.   Brooke also talks about the importance of self-awareness and learning to 'feel your feelings', identify what's causing them and communicating what you need, as a way of combating resentment.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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032: Going Fast to Go Slow  

Today Brooke and Kel talk about the idea of going fast some times, in order to go slow in others. And it's this juxtaposition, this seemingly contradictory approach to how we spend our days, that's at the heart of slowing down and living a more intentional life.    Far from the assumptions that her life is now slow and relaxed ALL THE TIME, Brooke shares her love for 'fast' and the effectiveness of a good deadline pressure, as well as her tendency to front-load her work in order to have regular go-slows.    Kel is far more organised in her approach to going fast to go slow (which surprises no-one) and shares how she creates blocks of time in her days where she has permission to do things in a less efficient way. Brooke is not particularly efficient so this idea is mind blowing.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!  

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031: Me Time  

'Me Time'. It's a phrase that makes both Kel and Brooke cringe, so in today's episode they unpack why exactly that is.    They talk about their own idea of me time (not a pedicure or a facial in sight!) and why it took them so long to understand its importance. Brooke talks about the seasons of life and how some times a 3 minute grab of quiet is all we're going to get, as well as the change in her life this year as both kids have started school.    They talk about the perception of me time as being selfish and entitled, as well as the opposite ways they were raised to think about think about it. After tiring of saying the phrase 'me time' 167 times in this episode, they've also decided it needs a rebrand!    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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030: Learning  

Most weeks Kel and Brooke sit down to chat with a topic in mind, and they have a decent idea of where the conversation will end up. Then there are conversations like today's.    They could have spoken about the things they've been learning recently, or the ways in which information has changed their points of view. Instead, they went the literal route and started off talking about school! Kel loved school and missed about 5 days in total, while Brooke was often found loitering in the sick bay, coming up with reasons why she wouldn't attend the next day.    Interestingly though, both Kel and Brooke had similar learning experiences throughout school and both needed to develop their critical thinking skills significantly as young adults.    The conversation does eventually come back to how Brooke and Kel each prefer to learn, as well as the cycles of learning they each find themselves in. Sometimes they can't get enough new information while other times you'll find them curled up in bed reading The Hunger Games for the 67th time.     Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!  

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029: Perfectionism  

Brooke is a reforming perfectionist who takes issue with the idea of a 'perfect' anything, while this year Kel published a book called Practical Perfection. So when the topic of perfectionism came up recently the girls had two immediate thoughts: 1) why hasn't this come up before? And 2) this is gonna be interesting.    Recently Brooke had a big lightbulb moment, as she realised her perfectionistic tendencies had actually been holding her back. It was only when she actively began shedding the idea of perfect that she was able to make great strides in so many areas of her life that had been stuck for years.    Kelly, on the other hand, has become very adept at managing her perfectionism, rather than trying to banish it completely. She also is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to the different types of perfectionism, how they effect us (and those around us) and the different strategies needed to either manage or move away from them when they become damaging.   Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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028: Downtime  

  Occasionally Brooke and Kel like to take a week off their signature navel-gazing conversations and tap into a lighter, more personal topic. This week they're talking about downtime. That is, what they do in theirs, how they protect it and why family downtime is different to personal downtime (spoken like true introverts!)    Brooke recognises that it's important to be organised throughout the week in order to have downtime over the weekend, but also recommends a lowering of standards in order to take some of the pressure off.    Kelly and her family fiercely protect their weekends and she also talks about the shift her and her husband have made in getting off their laptops in the evening hours.    They also talk about their favourite TV shows, what activities they like to do in their downtime and why early mornings are the saving grace of their busy days.    It's another fun one! Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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027: Expectations  

Today's episode is another one based on a listener email, this time from someone struggling under the weight of others' expectations.    Kelly has some fantastic insights into both how to deal with these expectations and how to frame them when we start to feel overwhelmed. As well as highly practical ways of facing up to the issue rather than letting it fester and become a bigger issue than it needs to be.   While Brooke is a huge proponent of the motto, "Not my problem,"  she understands that it's undeniably more complicated than that and suggests tapping in to our priorities in order to see what we will and won't feel pressured by.    It's another curly one, and the girls have a great chat about their own experiences in managing expectations, as well as the lessons they've learnt over the years.   Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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026: worry  

Last week Kelly received an email from a listener struggling with constant worry. And considering Kelly could worry for Australia, the girls thought this would be a great topic for today’s episode. 

Brooke is more of a reformed worrier, coming to realise there is very little power in constant and obsessive worrying. She understands that there are times where it is a legitimate response but for the vast majority of her time she simply asks if worrying will help change things, and she’s discovered that the answer is more often no than yes.

Kelly, on the other hand, has a whole range of strategies in place to minimise the impact worrying has on her life and she walks through some really practical suggestions for anyone who finds themselves consumed by worry. 



Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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025: Consistency  

Brooke and Kelly are often asked if they really practice simplicity in life all the time, and the answer is a resounding no. But rather than feel like a failure because of it, both Brooke and Kel quite like the idea of going against their best advice, at least some of the time.   In this episode they talk about the idea of backsliding into previous bad habits and why that can actually be a good and powerful reminder of why they made changes in the first place. They also talk about how much better they are at recognising a backslide now, and why that's really the key in making long-lasting change, rather than the ability to stick with it 100% of the time.   Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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024: Confidence  

Brooke has been fairly open throughout these podcasts about her struggles with confidence, and today Kel is determined to dive into the topic in more depth.    They talk about their upbringings, self-talk and possible sources of confidence (or a lack thereof) and Brooke has a lightbulb moment when Kelly talks about the difference between arrogance and confidence.    Brooke also talks about the importance of "faking it" as a way of moving forward in spite of the nasty voice inside her head, and credits that as the reason she's able to get up and create things in public every day.   She also draws loads of inspiration from other creatives who openly share similar self-doubts, while still creating incredible work. It inspires her so much to realise people she looks up to struggle with the same issues, but continue to create regardless. And maybe that's the key? Hearing the voice, acknowledging it, but moving forward regardless.    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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023: Regret  

Kelly talks this week about her goal of living a life without regret, which brings about a really interesting conversation about what regret looks like, what things are worth regretting, and specifically, the moments that both Brooke and Kel have regrets about.    Both ladies share some of those, and also how they manage to move past them. Acceptance, apology, forgiveness (of ourselves as well as others) all come in to play, and it's a fascinating look at how each of them process those gut feelings of having screwed up.    On the flip side they also talk about the regret of doing nothing, or of not having tried, and both agree that the biggest regrets they have are often tied up in inaction or fear, rather than trying and failing. Which really is one of the best takeaways from this episode - it's better to have tried and failed than not tried at all!    (Of course, there is some dreadful dancing that Brooke very heartily regrets too.)    Head over to http://www.letitbe.fm to learn more about Kelly and Brooke and subscribe to the show!

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022: Books  

Brooke and Kelly have discovered that one of the pitfalls of having existential, navel-gazey conversations every week is the very real risk of appearing overly earnest. So while these weekly chats are definitely a highlight, in today's episode the girls talk about something they both love dearly - books!   Not only do they discuss what genres they enjoy reading and which they avoid, but also the where and how of reading too. Brooke is now a strictly physical book in the hand type reader, while Kel is happy with her iPad with the occasional real book.   Brooke also talks about her complete lack of self-help reading these days (is self-help book burnout a thing? It should be) and Kel pleads with Patrick Rothfuss to JUST. RELEASE. HIS. NEXT. BOOK.   Kelly and Brooke share a love of dystopian fiction, and fangirl over Hugh Howey and his Wool trilogy for a while, before leaving with a list of comfort reads that they both routinely come back to. Some of those are pretty surprising, and most not the slightest bit comfortable on first glance.   Needless to say, this episode is fun and loose and more than a little enlightening.

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