Lizard People (a Show About Conspiracy Theories)

Lizard People (a Show About Conspiracy Theories)

United States

What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.


One Direction Babygate with Brooke Hartnett  

We've covered some dark conspiracy theories on this podcast. Things like Illuminati sacrifices, owl murders, secret Republican orgies, and good old fashioned fake deaths. But this has to be the most twisted, bleak, disturbing one of all. What if Louis Tomlinson's baby... IS FAKE?? Yes we're talking about THE Louis Tomlinson, singing child and nice hair haver. A little while back he knocked up a lady and now they have a kid together. But a lot of the internet thinks that their baby is just a cover for Louis' passionate relationship with Harry Styles, also a handsome singing fetus. Comedian and pop-culture enthusiast Brooke Hartnett joined us on the podcast to talk about where that baby really came from, and how they covered the whole thing. It was a very fun and silly and shallow and scatter-brained wonderful time. Also, come on out to the Tucson Comedy Arts Festival from November 9th to the 12th! We'll give you lots of high fives.

Fran Theory Mini Ep. #2 - The Truth About Taylor  

Turn on your iTunes. She's there. Check your Facebook. She's there. Look up into the sky at a tall white crane that's soaring majestically through a cloud. Taylor Swift is there too. The gal is everywhere, and her career has been going strong for what, like 12 years now? Love her or hate her, you can't escape the huge impact Tay Tay has had on pop culture. No wonder, then, that conspiracy theories swirl around the lanky popster like so many preteen groupies. From 'Taylor is illuminati' to 'Taylor is a satanist clone', there are some wild theories about her, and in this mini-episode, Katelyn covers her favorites with the usual lack of regard for facts. So don't you worry your pretty little mind, because we're about to blow your brain straight our your ear holes.

Corporate Conspiracies with Scott Thiede  

Ever feel like the whole world is conspiring against you? Like the fat cats and the corporations and the government want to keep you down? Well according to our guest, brilliant comedian Scott Thiede, you're dead right!! Scott thinks that there's a plot afoot to keep the poor poor and the rich filthy stinkin rich. And he's got some interesting evidence to prove it. Gotta' listen to find out what, though! Because we're not gonna put it in the episode description.

Animal Uprising with Ele Woods  

Something is happening in the ocean. Strange deaths, unexplained disappearances, mean rude stingrays. But what if these odd coincidences are in fact... AN ANIMAL CONSPIRACY. Our guest Ele Woods - a smart and hilarious comedian and also excellent dancer and costume-maker - makes the argument that the many odd animal-related deaths around the world are actually part of a global inter-species conspiracy to kill all humans. Also our voices sound very similar, so if you can't tell who is who know that Ele is the funny one and Katelyn is the one that keeps cackling loudly. This theory is a lil spooky!

The Shakespeare Authorship Question with Jeff Zuschlag  

Do you enjoy hearing hardcore theatre nerds geek out over Shakespeare? Well then you're gonna go gaga for this ep! The very funny and shockingly smart comedian Jeff Zuschlag came on the podcast to cover on of the nearest and dearest subjects to our hearts: SHAKESPEAH! Namely, the theory that Shakespeare didn't actually write the plays that are attributed to him. We discuss the Bard, his buddies, horny theatre teens, zines, dead languages, and the eternal mystery surrounding the true source of genius. It's pretty fun!

The Fake Moon Landing with Matt Johnson  

In this episode acclaimed director, writer, and Canadian Matt Johnson stops by the studio to tell us the real deal truth about the moon landing. Namely, that it for sure actually happened! Turns out he knows more than just about anyone under 70 about lunar landings, because he had to become an expert to make his magnificent movie Operation Avalanche. If you're a fan of independent film, science, powerful storytelling, budget talk, car chases, movie tech, and strangers becoming friends, this episode is most definitely for you. Have a nice time!

The 1985 NBA Draft with Jake Regal  

In this episode, we find out that Jake Regal (actor and comedian and multi-talented man) can play a college student with uncanny accuracy. Plus, he knows literally everything about wrestling. This week we explored the dramatic (and probably rigged) 1985 NBA draft. It was wild! In addition, we compare NBA commissioners to Archie characters, explore the logistics of freezing paper, discuss the homoerotic nature of MMA, and do a mini-episode about the Montreal Screw Job. Enjoy hearing a very patient person explain sports to an idiot.

Lizard People and David Icke with Brandon Blanks  

Get ready for a high-intensity, fast-talking, chakra-busting, Catalina-denying, chicken-teething good time! Genius writer and director Brandon Blanks stopped by to talk about interdimensional lizard aliens and the possible messiah David Icke. We say lots of possible slurs for aliens and planets, and spin out some truly wild ideas about what might really be controlling our beliefs and actions. Feat. fan favorite Omri Kruvi in a hot cameo!

JFK and the CIA with Maria Perros  

JFK's assassination is one of the greatest American conspiracy theories. And our guest, the hilarious and crazy smart Maria Perros fully did it justice with her amazing argument that he was betrayed by the CIA. By his own CIA, people!!! In this intense episode we deal with Lee Harvey Oswald, dirty commies, unfortunate turns of phrase, fat babies, and Jewish teeth. It's a delight.

The Owl Theory with Allegra Ringo  

Our guest this week is Allegra Ringo, hilarious comedian and co-host of the amazing podcast Can I Pet Your Dog? This conspiracy involves the very sad passing of Kathleen Peterson, who seems like an extremely nice person. Her husband was jailed for her murder, but since the trial some very weird evidence has come to light. OWLY EVIDENCE. Guys, owls are metal as hell. Listen in for a sizzling hot critique of the justice system, and so so many swears. Sorry to both of our families!

The Beatles Never Existed with Todd McClintock  

It's the return of a champion! Fran fave Todd McClintock is back, this time with an appallingly stupid conspiracy theory involving The Beatles, eyebrows, earlobes, lies, money, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. This theory posits that there were multiple actors playing each Beatle, and that their deaths were staged. Sound insane? It is! This episode is mostly screaming and giggling and visual jokes, aka the greatest episode of any podcast ever. Bonus: Todd writes an original song!

Ancient Astronauts with Mark David Christenson  

What if angels were just aliens? What if the pyramids were build by lazers? What if the war on Christmas was a real thing? All these questions and more are answered on this episode, in which Mark David Christenson addresses the theory that ancient alien astronauts came to earth to teach us junk like architecture and then mess around with our DNA. And as a bonus, we get verrrrrrry fiesty about organized religion. Westboro Baptist, sashay away!

Bush and Britney with Sarah Franklin  

We all know Brit Brit had a pretty tough go of it in 2007. But not a lot of people remember that George W. Bush was doing the political equivalent of shaving his head and fighting paparazzi with umbrellas. Guest Sarah Franklin makes a SHOCKINGLY compelling argument that Spears was an off-the-books employee of the Bush White House. You might disagree with our politics, and you might disagree with our pop-culture obsession. But you can't disagree that Crossroads is the greatest film of our generation.

Fran Theory Mini Ep. #1 - The Ballad of Melania Trump  

Melania Trump had a pretty bad night at the Republican National Convention. Oh well, everyone screws up sometimes and plagiarizes from one of the most famous people in the world. OR DO THEY??? Maybe Melania was actually sabotaged by one of the merry miscreants associated with the Trump campaign! But was it the campaign manager, the speech writer, the son-in-law, the mysterious dancer, or famed director Werner Herzog? You're about to find out, in Lizard People's first ever solo episode tackling a Fran Theory. Featuring accordion music!

Bohemian Grove with Dave Child  

At first it's gonna seem like Dave Child (actor and comedian and wonderful person) doesn't believe his own conspiracy theory. But about halfway into this episode things got really weird. Maybe the Bohemian Grove is just a campground where rich old Republicans get together to pee outside. Or maybe it's something...stranger.

Big Pharma with Omri Kruvi  

Look, we all agree that the pharmaceutical industry is messed up. Like real messed up. But is it messed up...on purpose? Eh, probly not. Our guest this week, writer and funny guy Omri Kruvi, isn't quite a skeptic or a believer, and the conversation gets real silly and then real serious. Come along for the ride!

The Denver Airport with Oliver Carder  

What is going on in the Denver metro airport? Were the Illuminati behind Nazi Germany? Can exes actually be friends? WHO KNOWS MAN. Artist, illustrator, writer and funny guy Oliver Carder came on the podcast in spite of his hatred for conspiracy theories, and discussed the strange details surrounding the Denver Airport. Listen to this ep if you want to hear a woman drive her former boyfriend to a mental breakdown.

Hitler's Death with Erika Curry  

And now, the extraordinary story of Katie Hitler, the nice, basic girl who happens to be Hitler's great-grand-niece. Just kidding! Just regular Hitler. Erika Curry is fascinated with World War Two, and she came on the podcast to talk about the theory that Hitler did not kill himself in the bunker, but in fact escaped to Argentina. We also talk about Korean spas, Captain America, accents, SoulCycle, race, guyabera shirts, and the nature of evil.

Andy Kaufman's Death with Lindsay Stidham  

Comedian and director and writer and all around boss ass bitch Lindsay Stidham is on the show this week, and she's here to talk about a conspiracy theory surrounding one of the comedy greats. Andy Kaufman died in 1984 of complications from lung cancer. OR DID HE??? He said a lot of weird stuff before he passed about staging a hoax and escaping from celebrity. But was he just a big weird loon? Or was he the greatest comedian ever to live? Or both? Or neither? Either way, more comedians should take the audience out for milk and cookies.

Simulation Theory with Joe Quint  

Joe Quint came on the podcast to share a dangerous theory. A theory so powerful, it could undermine the very nature of existence. What if, like, The Matrix is totally real? But it's, like, scientists? Woah. This is the brainiest conversation ever to happen on LP and you're gonna either love it or hate it. But Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Elon Musk just endorsed simulation theory so you better jump on the train ASAP dudes. Also was Katelyn right about Wil Wheaton, or was Joe?!?! Gotta listen to find out.

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