Speed Metal Cycling Podcast

Speed Metal Cycling Podcast

United States

Let the Cycling Gods Seethe With Anger, For We, the Almighty, Will Prevail. Unrestrained Cycling Irreverence Since 2009

Episodes

165 - Brought to You by HBO  

If you thought last episode was bad, hold on to your suck-orama hats, 'cuz this one is a doozie. Thankfully, SkullKrusher has the sense to cut it short. Wow. Wow... that's all we can say. *Eagle sound effect*

164 - Titanic  

We finally sunk the podcast. Mike predicts this will be the last episode. Believe us, it's so bad, it might just be. SkullKrusher is suffering from a bad throat infection, but that doesn't stop him from being as loud, obnoxious or opinionated as ever. Natalia loses her cool over Royalty, Klaus goes on about Leica cameras... That's all after we sorta talk about the Hammer Series and the Dauphine. It swirls downward after that... quickly. SkullKrusher sings, too. It's bad. Really bad.

BIG FAT PINK RIBBON  

Giro wrap up, so you know there will be a lot of poop talk, which is different than the usual bullshit we talk. Poop vs. Bullshit, na'mean? Also, Klaus makes fun of the main commentator for Colombian TV. Poop.

Lance Made America Great Again  

We get incredibly personal and uncomfortable with the SkullKrusher's first story. Truly cringe-worthy. Ugh. Then we talk about that HBO mockumantary, some other stuff and we do a Giro trivia game. Then, after 40 minutes, we finally talk about the race.

161 - Don't Be Afraid of the Tiger's Skin  

Between the Giro d'Italia (the 2nd Grand Tour), the men's Tour of California (the 4th Grand Tour), and the women's Tour of California (the 6th Grand Tour), we have plenty of BS to talk about. And do we ever! Talk BS, I mean. Also, SkullKrusher blows a gasket over Patrick Dempsey. Geez, this dude cares about the weirdest shit. Seriously, bro, calm down, you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm!

160 - Struggling to Keep His Pecker Up  

We review the first three stages of the Giro. We also discuss Luka Pöstelberger, the alleged Ewan/Gaviria rivalry, Dennis Rohan, Bob Jungels, Nibali, G. Thomas and lots and lots and lots of pecker talk

159 - Good Vibes Only  

A little Romandie, a little Yorkshire, a lot Red Hook Crit. Giro predictions and that's about it.

158 - ¡Muñeco!  

With the last weekend of the Ardennes classics behind us, you'd think we'd have plenty of cycling to talk about, right? Well, SkullKrusher rants about driverless cars, tells the story of HachikĊ the dog, Natalia goes on and on about social media, Klaus interrupts everyone and all the while, Mike remains his quite self. We do, eventually, get to discuss La Flèche Wallonne, and Liège–Bastogne–Liège, both men's and women's. The classics season is over. Sad.

157 - Let's Talk About the Podium  

Between SkullKrusher's announcements, Natalia's social media round-up and a conversation about podium girls/guys, it takes a while for the actual cycling talk to commence. What else is new. Finally, we start talking about the Tro-Bro Leon, but the analysis is interrupted by more talk about podiums and podium etiquette. We discuss both Amstel Gold races and come to the conclusion that they were both awesome and that the new route seems to have worked out. We make our predictions for La Flèche Wallonne  and Liège–Bastogne–Liège. The whole episode only had one microphone snafu. We'll take it.

Bonus ep01  

The SkullKrusher "sits down" with Gregg Betonte, co-owner of TV Motos International, a company that supplies races with motos for TV, of course. Not only is Gregg the boss, but he's also a camera guy. He shared plenty of insight with us. Enjoy the bonus episode! 

156 - Shaking a Can of Peanuts  

We announce the launch of our Patreon campaign, we read some emails and Instagram stuff and then we discuss Paris-Roubaix. After that the SkullKrusher disappears and the other three have to finish the episode on their own. That's how we roll.

155 - A Second Jacketer  

Tour of Flanders 2017, what else do you expect? Oh, we are launching our Patreon site next Sunday right after Paris-Roubaix!

154 - Monkey Town  

We discuss the Volta Catalunya, Dwars door Vlaanderen, the E3 Harelbeke, Gent-Wevelgem, and we look forward to the Tour of Taiwan (ok, we only mention it in passing), The Three Days of De Panne, the GP Miguel Indurain and we make predictions for the Tour of Flanders. Pretty much all cycling this episode. Sorry.

Just in Jewels  

Sectional couches, Richard Nixon, manslaughter, David Harmon, helmet soccer, daddy sodas, Dave Attell and Pocahontas. That and much, much, much more (nonsense) in this episode of the best podcast ever: THE Speed Metal Cycling Podcast.

A Dog Named Pony  

Klaus rejoins the gang, but does so from an echoey cave. He sounds like the spirit of an evil cycling fan who isn't scary at all. We apologize for that. We discuss Paris-Nice, Tirreno-Adriatico and the Ronde van Drenthe. Natalia and caveman Klaus have plenty of opinions, while SkullKrusher goes on about some nonsense and Mike... well we thought Mike was dead for a little, or maybe had just passed out. Fortunately , that was not the case. We think he just fell asleep.

Hammer Circus  

Scandal at Sky!! And we barely talk about it. We do talk about the Strade Bianche (men's and ladies'), the beginning of Paris-Nice and some other races. As usual we talk other nonsense including tattooing, cat agility, pure breed dogs and other crap we are forgetting now.

The President of Lithuania  

YES, we know Sagan is not Lithuanian! Klaus misses all the fun in today's episode. His loss. We talk about the Dubai Tour (just a little bit), the Omloop (men's and women's), Kuurne-Brussel-Kuurne and the Colombian National Championships. Also discussed, Peter Sagan, Tom Hanks, the President of Lithuania, Gaviria, Henao, Chaves, Haribo, food poisoning and liquid poop. See? I told you it was Klaus' loss.

The Opposite of Shy Bladder  

Mike is back. Unfortunately, so is SkullKrusher. We discuss the first few races of the European season and Klaus retells the best joke ever told for Mike's enjoyment. 'Krusher promises that they will record  more often now that the season is in full force.

It's Only for Pure Climbers  

We discuss the Tour Down Under and manage to do so without mentioning koala bears or kangaroos a single time. As if that wasn't enough we also answer listener questions for a good 35 minutes. Yeah, you read it right.

Merry New Year!  

Since Mike is on assignment, the Colombians have absolute freedom to do as they please, once again. Natalia gets all types of ruffled over the mention of a certain Spanish cyclist, we discuss our overall ambivalence toward the Tour Down Under, but barely mention Willunga Hill, which is unbelievable. Klaus brings out the big guns with the best joke ever told. At least 'Krusher believes so. He laughed for like 3 minutes straight. Something tells us this is not the last time we'll hear the punch line. "Punch" as in you guys will be "punching" yourselves in the face every time it comes up again, because of its sheer vacuousness.

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