The Cracked Podcast

The Cracked Podcast

United States

The Cracked Podcast is an extension of the editorial team discussions that shape the brilliant articles and sketches on Cracked. Cohosts Jack O'Brien and Michael Swaim, along with an impressive roster of guests, use the platform to identify and dissect pop culture tropes, debunk myths and generally try to reach the large demographic of people who would enjoy their site's content if only they'd learn to read.

Episodes

How Would You Adjust If The Internet Just Went Away?  

All the hip young kids are using a thing called the internet these days. In fact, if you're reading this summary or listening to this episode, odds are you're using the internet right now. But what if it all just went away? No podcasts, no turn-by-turn directions, no swiping for romantic partners, hell, most of us wouldn't even have jobs if there were no internet (see: everyone at Cracked).It's an interesting thought experiment to...think about...and experiment on. What would you do for a living; how would you get by day-to-day without the comfort, the convenience, the necessity of the internet?Alex Schmidt and Kristi Harrison ask the Cracked staff that very question in this episode. They chat with Abe Epperson, Tom Reimann, Ann Smiley, Saundra Sorenson and Brett Rader about the unthinkable--how could we live 21st century life without the internet?East Coast! The Cracked Podcast is coming to you! The Cracked Podcast will be a part of the Now Hear This podcast festival in New York, taking place September 8th-10th. For $20 off your ticket, head to NowHearThisFest.com and enter code 'CRACKED' at checkout.Guys. Gals. Aliens. Did you miss the premiere of Cracked's newest podcast, Cracked Movie Club? Don't worry. There's plenty of time to catch up. Hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson feature a new director each month as they do a deep into four of the director's films with jokes, insane behind-the-scene stories and crazy fan theories. And July is devoted to none other than Steven Spielberg.Listen to their episode about Raiders of the Lost Ark here: https://goo.gl/ygBfW1Listen to their episode about Jurassic Park here: https://goo.gl/FK9gV4And to hear the newest episode each and every Thursday, search for Cracked Movie Club in your podcast app of choice or click here to find it on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72Footnotes:Data: Pew Research: Internet/Broadband Fact Sheet: https://goo.gl/zc7G2eArticle: Pew Research: How US Tech-Sector Jobs Have Grown, Changed In 15 Years: https://goo.gl/KfE5sxData: TechCrunch: Unicorn Leaderboard: https://goo.gl/QhMzdsArticle: Mashable: Twitter's Massive 2008: https://goo.gl/64sLFpBook: Seneca: On The Shortness Of Life: https://goo.gl/sRJS3cArticle: MIT Technology Review: First Object Teleported From Earth To Orbit: https://goo.gl/dvhKiqArticle: New York Times: ‘Manspreading’ on New York Subways Is Target of New M.T.A. Campaign: https://goo.gl/BkS5r2

Cracked Movie Club: Raiders of the Lost Ark  

Starting today, Cracked is increasing its podcasting output by 50%! In addition to new episodes of The Cracked Podcast every Monday and Kurt Vonneguys every third Tuesday, we're proud to launch Cracked Movie Club, which can be beamed directly into your earballs every Thursday.Each month, your hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson are choosing a new director and doing deep-dives into four of their films with some of your favorite comedians, writers and Cracked personalities. First director: Steven Spielberg.To celebrate the launch, Cracked Movie Club is taking over The Cracked Podcast feed for the day so you can hear the inaugural episode. Tom and Abe are joined by comedian Daniel Van Kirk as they discuss how poisonous snakes, punishing desert sands, an outbreak of what can only be considered a modern plague, and a grown man pooping his pants all came together to create Raiders of the Lost Ark. Along the way, they question whether Jones was ultimately a better name than Smith, the logistics of maintaining a puzzle tomb in the middle of a jungle, and whether a certain Disney prince made a depressing cameo appearance.And if one episode wasn't enough for you, chaos theory is working in your favor, because episode two is available right now. Grab some fossilized mosquitos, a tub of ice cream and strap yourself in with the two female ends of a seatbelt, because Tom, Abe and Cracked's David Christopher Bell dissect Spielberg's 1993 hit, Jurassic Park.To hear episode two and get episode three the day it comes out, subscribe by searching for Cracked Movie Club on your podcast app of choice or clicking here to find it on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

How Jaws And Alien Invented The Summer Blockbuster  

Big cardboard cutouts in movie theater lobbies. Promotional cups at fast food restaurants. Kickass soundtracks featuring Seal. These things were once not part of our summer movie lexicon. And in the case of the tie-in song from Seal, they sadly haven't been for about twenty years.Somewhere between the release of Jaws in 1975 and the mid-80s, the summer movie became it's own genre. Not specifically action, horror, sci-fi or comedy, it can't be placed into it's own single category, but much like the Supreme Court's views on pornography, you know it when you see it. There are certain movies like Jurassic Park, E.T., and even Guardians of the Galaxy, where they just make you feel like summer.So, in anticipation of the launch of Cracked's new podcast, Cracked Movie Club, Alex Schmidt is welcoming on the show's two hosts, Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson for an ode to the summer movie. They trace the summer movie's origins in the seventies through to the state of the summer movie today, and then crown one film the best summer movie of all time.To subscribe to Cracked Movie Club and get the first two episodes when they premiere on July 13th, search for it in your podcast app of choice or click here to subscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72East Coast! The Cracked Podcast is coming to you! The Cracked Podcast will be a part of the Now Hear This podcast festival in New York, taking place September 8th-10th. For $20 off your ticket, head to NowHearThisFest.com and enter code 'CRACKED' at checkout.Footnotes:Video: Cracked: How An Indiana Jones Action Figure Created The PG-13 Rating: https://goo.gl/6E5xidDocumentary: Empire of Dreams: https://goo.gl/gTYC2XImage: Alien poster: https://goo.gl/MGh0dxVideo: Alien trailer: https://goo.gl/MUNvkmImage: Star Wars poster: https://goo.gl/HWqDfyImage: Raiders of the Lost Ark poster: https://goo.gl/HJqNyUImage: E.T. poster: https://goo.gl/nVZH7xImage: Enemy Mine poster: https://goo.gl/yycWvKVideo: Seal, "Kiss From A Rose": https://goo.gl/w8JLhFVideo: Transformers - Age of Extinction: Romeo & Juliet Law scene: https://goo.gl/KDrvu7

20 Unheralded Geniuses Who Basically Invented Modern Movies​  

For many people, filmmaking begins and ends with the director. We call it a director's medium. It's their vision that guides the entire production and it's their name that gets the praise when a movie is good, and gets dragged through the mud when a movie stinks. While that's somewhat accurate, it's completely forgetting about the hundreds of artists, technicians, producers and craftsmen who bring equal skill to the table and without whom our favorite movies would be totally different.Take Tim Burton, for example. His films have a "look," right? Edward Scissorhands, Pee-Wee's Great Adventure and Beetlejuice sort of exemplify Burton taking atomic age nostalgia and running it through the prism of Dr. Seuss on acid. Burton gets the credit for it, but all of those films (and a huge swath more) were art designed by the same guy, Rick Heinrichs. Without Heinrich's input, who knows what those movies would look like or if any of them would be as instantly memorable as they are now.Alex Schimdt welcomes Michael Swaim and Matt Gourley (Superego, I Was There Too, James Bonding) to talk about people like Heinrichs. Unknown artists who have had as much of a guiding hand in modern cinema as your Spielbergs, Lucases and Scorseses, but who you've never heard of. And if you're in Los Angeles in July, make sure to come to our next live podcast taping. On Saturday July 8th at 7:00pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre, former zoo tour guide and current Cracked Podcast host Alex Schmidt will be joined by Cracked's Daniel O'Brien and Katie Goldin as well as comedians Caitlin Gill, Joey Clift and Matt Kirshen as they discuss snakes, hippos, octopuses and every other animal that could Planet-0f-the-Apes us if they tried. Tickets are only $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/rVhzPCAlso, make sure to subscribe to our new podcast, Cracked Movie Club! Why? Because almost every movie you love is secretly insane. Join co-hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson (plus special guests) for a journey through the secrets, strangeness, and fan theories behind movies you’ll never see the same way again. And every month focuses on one director’s work, building a case for exactly why Hollywood’s greatest minds are weirder than you ever thought possible.To get the first two episodes when they premiere on July 13th, type in, "Cracked Movie Club" into wherever you get your your podcasts or subscribe here on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72Footnotes:Article: Fast Company: How Ben Burtt Designed The Sounds of Star Wars: https://goo.gl/CaLwxeArticle: io9: The Most Unforgettable Creations of HR Giger: https://goo.gl/NXD7QtArticle: Telegraph: Ken Adam: The Man Who Drew the Cold War: Video: Alex McDowell Lecture on Design and Storytelling: https://goo.gl/zn3f2CArticle: Wired: After Pee Wee and 'Tonight, Tonight,' Artist Wayne White is Reborn: https://goo.gl/Yz7mTxVideo: Roger Deakins Featurette: https://goo.gl/B3bHHaArticle/Podcast: NPR: The Story Behind the Stunts: Remembering Hal Needham: https://goo.gl/h9iHp1Article: Vice: Meet The Most Prolific Stuntman of All Time: https://goo.gl/WRVWv1Article: Vanity Fair: Meet the Most Powerful Woman in Hollywood: https://goo.gl/MYJjMuArticle: Playbill: The Other Chenoweth: Casting Director Gives Stage Actors Their Film Careers: https://goo.gl/Vc3cESVideo: Trailer for 'Casting By': https://goo.gl/jscnYKArticle: Wired: Love Classic Star Trek? You Owe A Huge Debt To Gene L. Coon: https://goo.gl/81CEY1Video: Godley & Creme: Cry: https://goo.gl/yNcQFkArticle: New Yorker: What Kind of A Genius is Max Martin: https://goo.gl/TQj7IUArticle: Vanity Fair: John Barry: The Man Who Knew The Score: https://goo.gl/oV7cQa

Looking the Part - Soren and Daniel Analyze Bathroom Habits  

Every morning when you wake up you (probably) do the same routine. In some order, you shower, use the toilet, shave and brush your teeth. In that respect, movie characters don't seem to exist in the same universe as us. Typically we only see them there if something important is happening, like if someone is taking a shower at the Bates Motel or if Danny Glover needs to use the toilet in 'Lethal Weapon 2'.In part-three of our special mini-series 'Looking the Part', Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien break down the typical bathroom tropes we see all over pop-culture, from the different varieties of the scary shower sequence, to the strange way shaving is used to show a power imbalance. They're joined by screenwriter Seth W. Owen to break-down how a writer implements these types of scenes and to discuss the crazy reason so many movies have a part where the hero washes his face and then takes a long, steely look in the mirror.And if you missed the first two installments of 'Looking the Part', check them out by clicking the links below:In episode 1, Soren and Daniel break down Superman's dueling haircuts and the roles of mustaches, beards and goatees in film: https://goo.gl/hwuUvBIn episode 2, Soren and Daniel discuss scars, tattoos, costumes and the most recent two Jokers: https://goo.gl/81qZk3This episode is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. For a limited time, new members get their 1st month along with the Executive Razor and a tube of their Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter for ONLY $5 with FREE shipping. That’s a $15 value for only $5 bucks! After that, razors are just a few bucks a month. This offer is exclusively available at DollarShaveClub.com/cracked​

The Weird Origins of Amusement Parks and the Summer Vacation  

Believe it or not, the idea of the summer break wasn't invented until very recently. Before kids got the summer off, school basically was the break from months of grueling farm work or any of the other countless horrors we subjected children to before modern labor laws. As people moved out of farming jobs into the cities and modes of transportation out of the cities became cheaper and more efficient, the travel and recreation industry took flight. By the end of the twentieth century, resort towns, roadside attractions and theme parks were a main staple of the summer vacation and a huge source of money for local economies. Or at least the ones you've heard of were.On this week's podcast, Alex Schmidt is joined by Cracked writers and editors David Christopher Bell and Tom Reimann to discuss the origins of the summer break, how Disneyland was built, and a weird catalogue of failed theme parks lost to history.And if you're in Los Angeles in July, make sure to come to our next live podcast taping. On Saturday July 8th at 7:00pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre, former zoo tour guide and current Cracked Podcast host Alex Schmidt will be joined by Cracked's Daniel O'Brien and Katie Goldin as well as comedians Caitlin Gill, Joey Clift and Matt Kirshen as they discuss snakes, hippos, octopuses and every other animal that could Planet-0f-the-Apes us if they tried. Tickets are only $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/rVhzPCAlso, be sure to get caught-up on our Cracked Podcast mini-series 'Looking the Part' co-hosted by Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien. Each Friday, Soren and Daniel are taking a deep-dive into the theories and hidden meanings behind movie hair, costumes and make-up. They examine the cryptic psychological reason behind Superman's dueling haircuts, why Ledger's Joker has scars and Leto's Joker has tattoos and a whole lot more. Check out episode 1 here: https://goo.gl/hwuUvBCheck out episode 2 here: https://goo.gl/81qZk3And stay tuned to the Cracked Podcast for episode 3 this Friday.Footnotes:Article: Cracked: 8 Amusement Parks That Died Surreal and Bizarre Deaths: https://goo.gl/62P2xQArticle: Slate: Do Kids Need a Summer Vacation: https://goo.gl/uVc9DBArticle: PBS: Debunking the Myth of Summer Vacation: https://goo.gl/ieCCvsArticle: Smithsonian Magazine: Where Was The Birthplace of the American Vacation: https://goo.gl/hiHiK8Article: LA Times: How Disney Used Shell Companies To Start Its Magic Kingdom: https://goo.gl/1n8LfjArticle: Disney Parks: Bob Foster and the Founding of a Disney Kingdom: https://goo.gl/wg5ArVArticle: Washington Post: This S.C. roadside attraction is garish, tacky and un-PC — but I stopped anyway: https://goo.gl/H3b4iVPhoto: Six Flags Over Texas: Map With Confederacy Land: https://goo.gl/r1b6ewPhotoset: Weather Channel: You Can Rent This 'Wizard of Oz' Them Park: https://goo.gl/1FkNwqArticle: Cracked: 6 Insane Summer Camps That Will Make You Wish You Were a Kid: https://goo.gl/CidkkHArticle: Cracked: 5 Disney Park Attractions You Won't Believe Existed: https://goo.gl/uqFJ43Article: Cracked: 6 Ways Fourth of July Used To Make 'The Purge' Look Tame: https://goo.gl/5Sthd1Wikipedia: Shania Twain: https://goo.gl/3DvgrU

Looking The Part - Soren and Daniel On Movie Scars and Tattoos  

Admit it: the Harry Potter movies would be totally different if he didn't have a cool scar. If Harry looked like Gary Oldman in 'Hannibal', Hermione and Ron be afraid to talk to him and even the Dementors would think twice before getting close to him. But Harry's scar is pencil-thin, and hides behind his hair. He's got a good-guy scar. And characters like Heath Ledger's Joker, Freddy Krueger and Scar? Obviously bad guys, right? 'The Lion King' wasn't even trying when they named their bad guy. Last week, in episode one of "Looking the Part," Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien analyzed what filmmakers were subtly telegraphing to audiences with characters' hair, mustaches and beards. This week the guys are joined by costume designer Jenna Wright to take a look at the skin, how scars and tattoos are used on good guys vs. bad guys, and the role costuming plays in developing a character. This episode is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. For a limited time, new members get their 1st month along with the Executive Razor and a tube of their Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter for ONLY $5 with FREE shipping.  That’s a $15 value for only $5 bucks! After that, razors are just a few bucks a month.  This offer is exclusively available at DollarShaveClub.com/cracked

17 Movies ​T​hat ​W​ere ​T​otal ​D​isasters ​Be​hind ​T​he ​S​cenes  

Understatement time: movies are hard to make. Every movie from The Godfather II to Joe Dirt 2​ is the result of years and years of tireless hard work from artists, craftsmen, teamsters, executives and advertisers-- all working in high pressure situations with tight deadlines, huge egos and insane amounts of money at play. Like GDP of a small island nation amount of money. Odds are behind every movie, there's an absolutely insane story of inappropriate behavior, blatant disregard for safety regulations and famous people trying to murder each other. This week on the podcast, Alex Schmidt is joined by Cracked's Daniel O'Brien and Tom Reimann, comedian Jamie Loftus and writer Dave Schilling (The Guardian, Bleacher Report, Vice) to cover 17 movies with absolutely batsh*t behind the scenes stories, like basically every late-period Marlon Brando movie, the screwball comedy that shot an iconic scene on 9/11 and the backstage antics that led a very famous actor to punch James Cameron in the face. If you need some hot new threads for the summer, be sure to check out our new Cracked Podcast Merch. And for a limited time, get 20% off your order when you use the code CRACKED at checkout: https://goo.gl/2J8Nh3 Footnotes: ​Article: Cracked: 6 Insane Dick Moves By Directors Behind Famous Movies: https://goo.gl/JB88mh Article: Cracked: 6 Famous Films You Had No Idea Were Hell Behind The Scenes: https://goo.gl/KoDcf7 Article: Cracked: 6 Great Movies That Were A Disaster Behind The Scenes: https://goo.gl/aElYpy ​Article: Cracked: 5 Famous Movies That Were Insane Parties Behind The Scenes: https://goo.gl/lvZLQy Article: Cracked: 7 Insane Behind The Scenes Problems Recent Movies Dealt With: https://goo.gl/3MlTNb Article: Cracked: 6 Classic Movies Made Possible By Reckless Endangerment: https://goo.gl/dKgBU Article: Cracked: 5 Great Movie Scenes Made Possible By Reckless Endangerment: https://goo.gl/81V33 Article: Cracked: 12 Classic Movie Moments Made Possible By Abuse And Murder: https://goo.gl/hvav0 Video: Marlon Brando Reads Cue Cards Off A Baby in Superman: https://goo.gl/eGiezr ​Video: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Clip: https://goo.gl/fYCf45 Video: Master of Disguise - Turtle Club Clip: https://goo.gl/wU2VLS​

Looking the Part - Baldness, Side-Parts and Facial Hair  

Every cheesy soap opera gives it away from the start-- the dashing Dr. Iago Montana is back from the dead...with a goatee. We as the audience know: IT'S NOT HIM, IT'S HIS EVIL TWIN! SEND HIM BACK FROM WHENCE HE CAME! Again, it's easy to spot this from a mile away when you see it on a soap opera or a children's cartoon. The crazy thing is, whether you know it or not, every movie and TV show uses a special shorthand to convey if a character is good, evil, happy, sad, trustworthy or complicated. And more often than not, this shorthand is baked into how a character presents themselves. You just need to know what to look for. That's why in our new podcast mini-series sponsored by Dollar Shave Club, Cracked senior editor Soren Bowie and head of video Daniel O'Brien will dissect how characters' grooming habits, costumes and make-up are the biggest spoilers of all. This week on episode one, the guys will take a look at Superman's dueling hair styles, what different types of facial hair say and what it means when a character chooses to be bald. This episode is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. For a limited time, new members get their 1st month along with the Executive Razor and a tube of their Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter for ONLY $5 with FREE shipping. That’s a $15 value for only $5 bucks! After that, razors are just a few bucks a month. This offer is exclusively available at ​www.dollarshaveclub.com/cracked​.

Bold Takes: Racism Wrong, It's Probably OK to Punch Nazis  

Checking the news right now, things are a little, how do you say...fucked. But there is some hope. As one of our guests puts it, "Rome wasn't burnt down in a day." Despite your Richard Spencers, your animated frog avatars and the whole extended cast of characters hell-bent on returning America to its pre-civil rights glory ("a hot dog cost a nickel and you could physically assault any person of color you saw! ") there are still people fighting for good in this country. That's why this week we're chatting with comedians/podcasters/activists and all-around cool dudes W. Kamau Bell and Hari Kondabolu. Their podcast "Politically Reactive" is the modern guide to surviving in the age of Trump-- from how to be an active part of the resistance to just how to stay happy and not let the whole dumpster fire weigh you down on a day-to-day basis. First, Jack O'Brien and Daniel O'Brien chat with W. Kamau Bell about his show "United Shades of America," what it was like interviewing Richard Spencer and a KKK leader and how he would go about fixing the violence in Chicago. Later, Alex Schmidt and Katie Goldin speak with Hari Kondabolu about #covfefe, how being a touring comedian gives you a different view of America and an absolutely crazy video of Malcom X on a Canadian Game show. If you need some hot new threads for the summer, be sure to check out our new Cracked Podcast Merch. And for a limited time, get 20% off your order when you use the code CRACKED at checkout: https://goo.gl/2J8Nh3 Also, make sure to stay tuned to the Cracked Podcast feed for a special three-part miniseries hosted by Soren Bowie starting this Friday, June 17th. Soren and Daniel O'Brien are dissecting movie make-up and costumes to show that how a character appears is the biggest spoiler of them all. Footnotes: Podcast: Politically Reactive: https://goo.gl/Nxh4Iv Website: W. Kamau Bell: https://goo.gl/zHt0Y3 Website: Hari Kondabolu: https://goo.gl/WAFZFH Website: United Shades of America on CNN: https://goo.gl/JV0kde Book: The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell: https://goo.gl/HTjbXk Album: Hari Kondabolu's New Material Night Volume One: https://goo.gl/945WUm Video: Malcom X on Canadian Game Show: https://goo.gl/eJEn3W

A Farewell To Cracked Editor-in-Chief Jack O'Brien  

Serious Talk. It's Jack's last episode. After 11 years at Cracked, our intrepid editor-in-chief and podcast host extraordinaire Jack O'Brien is hanging up the cleats to tackle new projects, end world hunger and find the Zodiac killer. But that doesn't mean this podcast is going anywhere. Jack is joined this week by NEW Cracked Podcast host Alex Schmidt as they sit down with Michael Swaim, Daniel O'Brien, Soren Bowie and Jason Pargin (aka David Wong) to reminisce over Jack's 11 years of service, how they all landed at Cracked and their favorite Cracked Podcast topics from the first 182 episodes. To keep up with Jack, be sure to follow him on Twitter: twitter.com/jack_obrien To follow your new Cracked Podcast host, you can find him on Twitter: twitter.com/alexschmidty And if you need some hot new threads for the summer, be sure to check out our new Cracked Podcast MERCH: https://goo.gl/2J8Nh3 Also, be sure to come see the next live taping of the Cracked Podcast on Saturday, June 10th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theater in Los Angeles. Guests inlcude Daniel O'Brien, Tom Reimann, Jamie Loftus (The Bechdel Cast) and Dave Schilling (Bleacher Report, Grantland, Vice) as the Cracked crew discusses insane behind the scenes stories from movies and tv shows. Tickets are $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/lsCBDm Footnotes: Video: TED: James Flynn: Why Our IQ Levels Are Higher Than Our Grandparents: https://goo.gl/MMRp4L Video: Clip from Fractured Flickers: https://goo.gl/UPBhG2 Book: Michael Shermer: Why People Believe Weird Things: https://goo.gl/fXBHp7 Podcast: Cracked: Insane Simpsons Easter Eggs (Explained By Simpsons Writers): https://goo.gl/zhfWQb Podcast: Cracked: More Simpsons Writer's Room Stories (From a Simpsons Writer): https://goo.gl/7HVBM6 Book: Daniel O'Brien: How to Fight Presidents: https://goo.gl/yXfDjH Article: Esquire: Todd Marinovich: The Man Who Never Was: https://goo.gl/C89avK Podcast: Cracked: Why Class in America Isn't About Income: https://goo.gl/2tliZx Article: Siderea: Class (American): https://goo.gl/tlmX4S Article: Slate Star Codex: Staying Classy: https://goo.gl/2eYdF6 Article: Slate Star Codex: I Can Tolerate Anything Except the Outgroup: https://goo.gl/ZrwgcS

14 Simple Changes That Would Revolutionize the World  

The world is full of systems and orders that we never really question because they've seemingly exited forever. And we're not talking about overthrowing the government or anything, we just mean basic things like how we take out our trash, when we vote and what movies we like to see when. Think about it, why do all the big action-tentpole movies come out in the summer? Is it because kids are out of school? Beauty and the Beast has made a half-billion dollars domestically but it came out in March. If the next Spiderman came out in February, would nobody see it? Of course people would, so again, why all the big movies in the Summer? This week on the podcast we're asking questions like these to some of the big staples of modern living. Jack O'Brien is joined by Adam Ganser and Alex Schmidt. They ask if there's a better way we can be voting, doing taxes and disposing of our trash, and make simple tweaks to improve professional sports, comic book movies and the 5-day work week. And be sure to come see the next live taping of the Cracked Podcast on Saturday, June 10th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theater in Los Angeles. Guests inlcude Daniel O'Brien, Tom Reimann, Jamie Loftus (The Bechdel Cast) and Dave Schilling (Bleacher Report, Grantland, Vice) as the Cracked crew discusses insane behind the scenes stories from movies and tv shows. Tickets are $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/lsCBDm Footnotes: Article: Cracked: 5 Terrible Ideas That Solved Huge Global Problems: https://goo.gl/d4a0y Article: New York Times: Seeking the Truth in Refuse (about William Rathje garbologist) https://goo.gl/eLjCfi Podcast/Article: NPR: Utah Finds Surprising Benefits In 4-Day Workweek: https://goo.gl/RFic4C Article: CNN Money: The 4-Day Work Week Is Real For Employees At These Companies: https://goo.gl/K7H1mA Article: Slate: Maybe Making Election Day a Holiday Wouldn't Really Work: https://goo.gl/GDrj0u Podcast/Article: NPR: Stanford Professor Loses Political Battle To Simplify Tax Filing Process: https://goo.gl/PzUDQq Podcast: The Cracked Podcast: Real Superpowers and New Human Senses: https://goo.gl/gusNq4 Article: The New Yorker: Seeing With Your Tongue: https://goo.gl/da1hnQ Video: Cracked: Why Everybody Wins if Batman & Superman Are Public Domain: https://goo.gl/qRUA5s

Humanity's Greatest Moments Brought to You By Drugs ​& Booze  

Even though drugs and alcohol have been a social lubricant since before we could write anything down, we like to think of history as this boring, stuffy museum exhibit where kings and queens drank iced tea, ate flavorless biscuits and had sex like our parents did (they've never had sex!). But hold onto your molly water, legal marijuana and fidget spinners, kids: history is as shitfaced wasted as any frat party or music festival, you just have to dig a little deep to find it. Also, it's hard for high school history teachers to talk about how great Ulysses S. Grant was and talk about how drunk he was the whole civil war. So they just don't mention that last part. American hero! In this week's episode, Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked's Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt and Michael Swaim, as well as comedian Blake Wexler, for a deep dive into some of history's most secretly inebriated moments. They'll talk about wars that were almost started and wars that were ended thanks to booze, some surprisingly great accomplishments powered by LSD (please don't try them at home) and the American president who was so drunk all the time, it sort of puts the whole Trump presidency into horrifying perspective. Footnotes: Check out Blake Wexler's New Podcast 'Ya Booze Ya News': https://goo.gl/6Y1ZxS ​Article: Cracked: 6 Historic Events You Didn't Realize Everyone Was Drunk For: https://goo.gl/kOTF2F Article: Cracked: The 5 Most Important Things Done While Blackout Drunk: https://goo.gl/TNzBHt Article: Cracked: The 7 Most Unexpectedly Awesome Parties in History: https://goo.gl/eZHm2 Article: Cracked: The 5 Greatest Things Ever Accomplished While High: https://goo.gl/psM6y Article: Cracked: The 5 Most Inspiring Things Ever Accomplished While Drunk: https://goo.gl/RWKf Article: Cracked 5 Epic Bouts of Drunkenness That Made The History Books: https://goo.gl/cUhjDU Article: Cracked: 7 Great Works of Literature Written While Wasted: https://goo.gl/XbMxOI ​ Article: The Guardian: Drunk in Charge: https://goo.gl/JuPlE0 Article: The AV Club: 45 Years Ago Today Dock Ellis Pitched a No-Hitter While High on LSD: https://goo.gl/kFK1yv ​Video: Bill Clinton Laughs At Drunk Boris Yeltsin: https://goo.gl/aEcvkT​

More Simpsons Writer's Room Stories (From A Simpsons Writer)  

Dana Gould is one of comedy's "that guys." His footprint is everywhere -- from writing on top-line hits like The Simpsons to cult-status titles The Ben Stiller Show -- and there's a chance you've never heard of him. If you're like Dana and you've spent the last quarter century hopping from great writers room to great writers room, while still managing to be a stand-up, a podcast host, and the voice of an animated gecko (not that one), you gain insights into life, entertainment and politics that a lot of us aren't privy to. So on this week's podcast, Jack O'Brien, Daniel O'Brien and Michael Swaim sit down with Dana for an extended conversation about the world-building processes behind The Simpsons and Parks & Rec, Elvis Costello's worst night ever, and the cognitive dissonance of the average Trump supporter. We also ask him about Gex. Footnotes: Podcast: Cracked Podcast: Insane Simpsons Easter Eggs (Explained By Simpsons Writers): https://goo.gl/zhfWQb Podcast: Cracked Podcast: Why Narcissism Is Our National Mental Disorder: https://goo.gl/Mnr0Wh Podcast: The Dana Gould Hour: Episode Archive: https://goo.gl/HQ0zzl TV: IFC: Stan Against Evil: https://goo.gl/zmDvud Article/Podcast: Freakonomics: The Academic Origins of China's One-Child Policy: https://goo.gl/GR02B1 Book: Peter Doggett: You Never Give Me Your Money -- The Beatles After the Breakup: https://goo.gl/bXCDp2 Documentary: The Making of 'Dr. Strangelove': https://goo.gl/G56fqU ​ Article: Cracked: 12 Classic Movie Moments Made Possible By Abuse and Murder: https://goo.gl/hvav0 Article: Cracked: 5 Great Movie Scenes Made Possible By Reckless Endangerment: https://goo.gl/81V33 Check Out Jack's May Spotify Playlist: https://goo.gl/sDnx2L

Why Millennials Are The New Greatest Generation  

The script is different but the wording is always roughly the same. Every few months some retiring journalist, former tech-mogul or aspiring Tomi Lahren-type goes viral because they've had it up to *here* with these gosh darn millennials. Between their clamoring for single-payer healthcare and their complaining about unpaid internships, it's like they hate America or something. Why can't they appreciate what they've got and be exactly what the generation before wants them to be?We've heard it a million times and, frankly, it's all bullshit. You know how we know? Because every generation has been lodging the same 4 complaints about their successors since the beginning of the written language (and probably before that too). Grug and all the other teens don't care about hunting mammoths like their fathers, they just sit around playing with those newfangled *wheels* all day. As long as we keep having kids, this will happen until the end of time.On this week's podcast, resident Gen-X'er-in-chief Jack O'Brien welcomes young upstarts Katie Goldin, Brett Rader and Josh Sargent onto the show to discuss why this never-ending argument is bullshit. They discuss some flaws in logic behind popular anti-millennial rants and call out some shady statistics that news outlets circulate to prop-up these arguments.And make sure to get tickets to our next LIVE Cracked Podcast, coming up on Saturday, May 13th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked's Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt and Michael Swaim, and comedian Blake Wexler to combine the podcast's two favorite topics: great moments in history and binge drinking. They'll discuss the drafting of the US Constitution, the Russian Revolution and other famous moments in history where everyone was completely sh*tfaced. Tickets are only $7 and available here:  https://goo.gl/PWmm2y Footnotes:Article: Cracked: This Millennial Rant Deserves A Trophy For Being Most Wrong: https://goo.gl/7xeex8 Article: The Society Pages: Adventures in Garbage-Millennial Confirmation Bias: https://goo.gl/cri4JA Article: Cracked: 5 Lies Millennials And Baby Boomers Believe About Each Other: https://goo.gl/lFWuCt Article: Cracked: 4 Terrible Parts of Pop Culture (With Weird Bright Sides): https://goo.gl/fIEPXj Article: The New Yorker: The Big Uneasy: https://goo.gl/RyCzrx Article: The New Yorker: The "Founder" Generation's Creation Myth: https://goo.gl/Fn73e8 Book: Morley Winograd: Millennial Momentum:  https://goo.gl/PfxdRb This episode is brought to you by Audible (www.audible.com/CRACKED) and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: CRACKED).

23 Convoluted Movie Schemes That Need A Second Look  

The term 'movie magic' typically refers to the technical brilliance of bringing dinosaurs to life onscreen or how Denzel Washington can make an entire theatre of men and women pregnant with a single knowing glance. But there's a second type of movie magic that often goes overlooked: when movies are so good, we don't notice when their characters' plans' make absolutely no sense. All the great ones do this. In 'Return of the Jedi', all of the main characters get captured attempting to break Han Solo out of Jabba's palace, but it's all good because that was seemingly their plan all along? Why wait to get captured when you can just drop in, lightsabers blazing, bust your dude out of the carbonite and smoke fools in an epic prison breakout? Seems like Luke wanted to fight the Rancor all along.There's a whole category of these where bad guys try to weaponize monsters. From the 'Alien' series to 'Jurassic World', it's just a bad idea. Christopher Nolan is a real magician when it comes to bad movie plans. 'The Dark Knight', 'The Dark Knight Rises', and 'The Prestige' all have glaring examples of movie schemes that don't hold up under an ounce of scrutiny.So, join Jack O'Brien, Michael Swaim, and David Christopher Bell as they discuss the failing of Nolan's villains, why 'Westworld' makes no sense, and how the dudes in 'Jaws' had a bigger boat the whole damn time.And make sure to get tickets to our next LIVE Cracked Podcast, coming up on Saturday, May 13th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked's Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt and Michael Swaim, and comedian Blake Wexler to combine the podcast's two favorite topics: great moments in history and binge drinking. They'll discuss the drafting of the US Constitution, the Russian Revolution and other famous moments in history where everyone was completely sh*tfaced. Tickets are only $7 and available here:  https://goo.gl/PWmm2y Footnotes:Video: Cracked: 3 Ridiculous Movie Schemes That Make No Sense:  https://goo.gl/BGkAFW Article: Cracked: 6 Terrible Plans in Movies That Just Sort of Work Out:  https://goo.gl/DA0Hk Article: Cracked: The 6 Most Pointlessly Elaborate Movie Murder Plots:  https://goo.gl/nuKW4V Article: Cracked: 6 Famous Movie Villains Whose Evil Schemes Make Zero Sense:  https://goo.gl/zkR1RT Article: Cracked: 6 Huge Movie Plot Twists That Caused Even Bigger Plot Holes:  https://goo.gl/L3957 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CRACKED), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/cracked).

Why Every Billionaire Is Becoming A Doomsday Prepper  

Sometime around when Donald Trump started winning state primaries a year ago, the national mood went from, "Damn Daniel," to "oh fuck we're actually going to die in a rain of nuclear hellfire." That happens when a sitting US President attacks an almost-nuclear state on Twitter, as was the case a few weekends ago.With climate change, market instability, loss of privacy, the rise of fascism and a hair-triggered President all coming to a boil around the same time, it's understandable for images of apocalypse and dystopia to weigh heavily on the mind.So, this week the Cracked Podcast is doing an apocalypse grab-bag. Jack O'Brien is joined by Cracked's Alex Schmidt and Saundra Sorenson to talk about bizarre apocalypse-level events that already happened and stories from places like Nigeria, Iraq, the Philippines and even Canada, where either natural disaster, terrorism or totalitarian government have turned everyday life into a dystopia.  Footnotes:Article/Video: Jalopnik: This is the Video CNN Will Play When The World Ends:  https://goo.gl/gvIO9Y Article: Cracked: 4 Nightmare Apocalypses Humanity Forgot Were Possible:  https://goo.gl/U48Y3v Article: Cracked: 6 Real Cities Destroyed By Incredibly Bizarre Apocalypses:  https://goo.gl/XHAvGG Article: Cracked: 6 Apocalypse Scenarios Society Says We're Overdue For:  https://goo.gl/SaBKaG Article: Cracked: 5 Horrifying Apocalyptic Scenarios  (That Have Already Happened):  https://goo.gl/5COk09 Article: The New Yorker: Doomsday Prep for the Super-Rich:  https://goo.gl/GBcpKk Article: The New Yorker: The Really Big One:  https://goo.gl/Y2QxOj  Article: Cracked: Evacuating A Modern City: 5 Realities in a Real Apocalypse:  https://goo.gl/24yA3h Book: Dave Eggers: Zeitoun:  https://goo.gl/WFXXF2 Article: The New Yorker: Hosed:  https://goo.gl/Rsg2aK Article: Smithsonian Magazine: Why Did Greenland's Vikings Vanish?:  https://goo.gl/vuP4C3

How We'd Fix These 4 Broken Franchises  

Big news! This summer, Hollywood is delivering us our 6th Spiderman movie in the last 15 years. Fun! Time to re-hash all of our favorite story beats like dead uncles, having great responsibilities and kissing upside-down.So yeah, it seems like for the nth summer in a row, the great minds in the Hollywood dream factory are officially out of ideas. Our question is: why? When there are so many amazing stories from real life or incredible works that have yet to be adapted, why another Transformers?This is an issue only the After Hours crew (sans Michael) can figure out. On this week's episode, Jack O'Brien is joined by Soren Bowie, Daniel O'Brien and Katie Willert to fix reboots, throw out adaptations and pitch unbelievable real stories that would make for incredible movies, if only Hollywood had the balls to produce them.Footnotes:Article: Cracked 5 Really Awesome Movies Hidden Inside Really Crappy Movies:  https://goo.gl/gZliXV Article: LA Times: Zankou Chicken's Tragic Family Rift Impedes Chain's Growth:  https://goo.gl/xz1SXG Podcast: Radiolab: Outside Westgate:  https://goo.gl/kp2hP9  (about Nairobi terror attacks in mall - soren talks about)Book: Jennet Conant: The Irregulars: Roald Dahl and the British Spy Ring in Wartime Washington:  https://goo.gl/3GJoqe Book: F. Scott Fitzgerald: The Diamond as Big as the Ritz:  https://goo.gl/C6nQ7E Podcast: The Dollop: Lobotomy:  https://goo.gl/xSBkQr Article: LA Times: Colonel Griffith J. Griffith, One of LA's More Colorful Figures:  https://goo.gl/P4k3H Book: Bonar Menninger: Mortal Error: The Shot That Killed JFK:  https://goo.gl/8xN2Dd Documentary: JFK: The Smoking Gun:  https://goo.gl/hTWyy7 Article: The New Yorker: Bill James, True-Crime Obsessive, On The Genre's Enduring Importance:  https://goo.gl/Z8zhe4 Book: Bill James: Popular Crime:  https://goo.gl/9vuTiM Article: Cracked: 5 Insane 'What If' Scenarios That Almost Changed Everything:  https://goo.gl/irzui9 Article: New York Times: LBJ's Bravado and a Secret Service Under Scrutiny:  https://goo.gl/JzmaiU Book: L.A. Meyer: Bloody Jack:  https://goo.gl/GeCQPM Book: Brain Jacques: Redwall:  https://goo.gl/AXfiaa Article: Smithsonian Magazine: The Heiress to a Gun Empire Built a Mansion Forever Haunted by the Blood Money that Built It:  https://goo.gl/oJGQuq

Commonplace Ideas Invented More Recently Than You Think  

Nowadays, there's a huge emphasis on eating natural foods. Staying away from GMOs, pesticides, and processed sugars is generally thought of as a good thing. Some call it the paleo diet and it's a way to harken back to a simpler time, when our ancestors ate gathered fruits and hunted animals.Going paleo is very noble and all, but the problem is: the plants and animals we eat are nothing like they were thousands of years ago, let a hundred years ago. Before test tubes were ever a part of the equation, we selectively bred everything from cows and chickens to apples and bananas. You'd barf in your mouth just looking at an OG banana, let alone trying to eat it. And cows? They were bred from their ancestors, cattle-like animals called aurochs, who would fuck you up if you tried milking them.The food we eat today and think of as normal is just one example of a historical blindspot we have where we think commonplace objects and concepts have been around forever. But in this week's episode, Jack O'Brien is joined by Michael Swaim and Teresa Lee to discuss how things like food, love, racism and mourning dead children are all surprisingly recent developments.Footnotes:Article: Cracked: 7 Concepts We Totally Take For Granted, Like White People:  https://goo.gl/dVJVIL Article: Cracked: 6 Man-Made Things You Totally Thought Were Natural:  https://goo.gl/QvjHtN Article: Cracked: 5 Simple Things You Won't Believe Are Recent Inventions:  https://goo.gl/NzAfxQ Article: Seeker: Cows Almost Impossible to Domesticate, DNA Reveals:  https://goo.gl/w6Uai1 Article: Pacific Standard: How Lobster Got Fancy:  https://goo.gl/qa1LaL Article: Gawker: 'Breathtaking' Document Reveals Pepsi's Logo is Pinnacle of Entire Universe:  https://goo.gl/9tYW Article: Time: The Invention of Teenagers:  https://goo.gl/gWgJDs Article: The New York Times: Who's White?:  https://goo.gl/fAzpSE Podcast: Duke University Center for Documentary Studies: Seeing White:  https://goo.gl/6fWI65 Text: Ralph Waldo Emerson: English Traits:  https://goo.gl/LBPZFQ Article: The Atlantic: Thomas Jefferson: Radical and Racist:  https://goo.gl/F9McpQ Scholarly Article: Did The Ancients Care When Their Children Died?:  https://goo.gl/ozHK5a The Romantic Love Test:  https://goo.gl/ITk7yA This episode is brought to you by Louis C.K. 2017 on Netflix, Harry’s (www.harrys.com/cracked), and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: CRACKED).

My Small Town Can Fit In A Building: Life in Small-Town USA  

The 2016 Election made it clear that we live in an America divided.  There is a struggle between small-town and big-city America that comes down to more than just ideology. There's a general misunderstanding of how we live life that both sides fall victim to. To one side, the cramped and cavernous nature of city streets is straight-up anxiety-inducing. To the other, it's a surprise that dirt roads even exist at all. Didn't we get rid of those decades ago? But if the road is made of dirt, how will the driverless Uber know where to go? This is why Trump's President, ya'll!In one bubble, entertainment is taking in a show or a concert; in the other, entertainment is muddin' or taking random pills. One isn't better than the other. There are no judgements here. It's just that things that are absolutely commonplace in one world are so completely alien to the people in the other.On this week's podcast, city-boy Jack O'Brien is joined by columnist John Cheese, who still lives in small-town Illinois, and comedian Billy Wayne Davis who grew up in rural Tennessee but now travels the world and has seen the absurdity in how both sides live. Later, John Cheese and Jason Pargin (aka David Wong) break-down their formative years in small-town Illinois and how the death of the local business turned their community into a living hell.Make sure to get tickets to our next live Cracked Podcast on Saturday, April 8th at 7pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre in Los Angeles. Jack is joined by Daniel O'Brien, Soren Bowie and Katie Willert from 'After Hours' to talk about reboots we'd love to see, great movies hidden in bad movies and other movie ideas way too awesome to actually get made. Tickets are $7 and available here:  https://goo.gl/kTFUYQ Footnotes:Billy Wayne Davis on Twitter:  https://goo.gl/rJ1Fqh Billy Wayne Davis Live at Third Man Records: https://goo.gl/Niyn2N Video: Billy Wayne Davis on 'Conan': https://youtu.be/T8ShD0RzOsU Article: Cracked: 5 Things Only Poor Teens Understand About Poverty: https://goo.gl/GShCBq Article: Cracked: 4 Common Morals Designed to Keep You Poor: https://goo.gl/NPvnQw Article: Cracked: 4 Things Politicians Will Never Understand About Poor People: https://goo.gl/HWZuy Article: Cracked: 5 Telltale Sings You Grew Up Poor: https://goo.gl/Ct5kBf Article: Cracked: I Was Raised As A Racist: 6 Weird Things I Learned: https://goo.gl/IkwLlD Article: Cracked: How Half of America Lost It's F**king Mind: https://goo.gl/KBJs5W Article: Cracked: I Investigated Fox News' Poverty Claims (On My Mom): https://goo.gl/Lm8WqR Jack O'Brien's Playlist on Spotify:  https://goo.gl/hWjsFJ

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