The One You Feed Podcast- Happiness|Wisdom|Insight

The One You Feed Podcast- Happiness|Wisdom|Insight

United States

It takes Conscious, Constant and Creative effort to make a life worth living. Interviews with thought leaders, authors, musicians and artists on how they feed their good wolf. Based on the parable of the Two Wolves. Get more happiness, kindness, wisdom, optimism, insight and inspiration in your life.


175: Tom Asacker  


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This week we talk to Tom Asacker

Tom Asacker, a popular speaker and acclaimed author, is recognized by Inc. Magazine, M.I.T., and Y.E.O. as a past member of their Birthing of Giants executive leadership program. He is a former General Electric executive, recipient of the George Land Innovator of the Year Award, and a former high-tech business owner. Asacker has been a strategic adviser to startups and Fortune-listed companies. He is the author of critically acclaimed books including his latest, I Am Keats. 

In This Interview, Tom Asacker and I Discuss... His book, I am Keats: Escape Your Mind and Free Yourself John Keats and Samuel Taylor Coleridge That once you have a story, that's the end of any change How limiting a story is That we are spinning stories all of the time The difference between fact vs truth How attached we are to our perception of the world That technology promotes the myth that we are in control The truth that you can't learn about life by merely reading about it, you can only truly learn about life by living it Our reasoning mind that differentiates us as animals That life is a journey of paradoxes and ambiguity The importance of being empathizing and being mindful throughout this journey The desire for meaning How everyone is looking for meaning externally in their lives How that won't work because our culture is broken That it is a personal discovery journey to live life How we always have the opportunity to make other people's lives better but we have to be awake in life to do so The importance of control and certainty in our lives How to differentiate the voices in our heads That the end result of anything that we're seeking is a feeling Human nature is to be curious, compassionate and creative What would happen if characters in movies could control their scenes? The result would be crushingly boring movies. Can you see the correlation between this idea and life itself?     Please Support The Show with a Donation  


174: Sarah Kaufman  


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This week we talk to Sarah Kaufman about grace

SARAH L. KAUFMAN is a Pulitzer Prize-winning critic, author, journalist and educator. For more than 30 years, she has focused on the union of art and everyday living. She is the dance critic and senior arts writer of the Washington Post, where she has written about the performing arts, pop culture, sports and body language since 1993. Her book, THE ART OF GRACE: On Moving Well Through Life, won a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers Award, was a Washington Post Notable Book of 2015 and has been featured on NPR’s “On Point with Tom Ashbrook.” Sarah Kaufman recently appeared at the South-by-Southwest Interactive Festival, speaking on a panel inspired by her book, titled, "Can Grace Survive in the Digital Age?" She has taught and lectured at universities and institutes around the country. In 2010 she became the first dance critic in 35 years to win the Pulitzer Prize.

In This Interview, Sarah Kaufman and I Discuss... Her book, The Art of Grace on Moving Well Through Life How she defines grace The idea of ease at it relates to grace The three different types of grace that she looks at in her book Physical Grace Social Grace Spiritual Grace That grace exists where we forget ourselves and aim instead to bring pleasure to others The fact that we have a "grace gap" in our current culture The religious take on grace The relationship between overload and grace That grace is a worldview and a philosophy that allows us to take care of ourselves and others Considering the idea of "defying gravity" when considering the idea of grace The paradox of grace That practice makes graceful The graceful balance skill with ease The role of movement in grace Posture - how do you do it and why is it important The grace of a smooth running commercial kitchen How being present is crucial to observing grace That grace doesn't demand perfection, it simply means that we lean into our humanity Tips to practice grace     Please Support The Show with a Donation  


173: Joey Svendsen  

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This week we talk to Joey Svendsen

Joey Svendsen grew up in Charleston, SC and received a degree in Elementary Education from Winthrop University in 1999. After graduation, he taught school for 5 years and served as a youth minister at New Beginnings Church in James Island.

He is now the campus pastor Joey for the James Island Campus of Seacoast Church.

His book is called Fundamentalist and describes his journey of growing up in a fundamentalist church while having OCD and depression.

He is also part of the popular The Bad Christian Podcast

 In This Interview, Joey Svendsen and I Discuss... How the rigid do's and don'ts found in Christianity are so contrary to Jesus How he found a form of Christianity that worked for him, so much so that he became a pastor His podcast, Bad Christian How he grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church as a child with OCD and depression How we can accept that as humans we're flawed and also move forward with a good life Scrupulosity That you can train your brain to be consumed with fear, self-loathing and punishment How his goal is to be a catalyst to unity and understanding That we the people make the country regardless of what's happening in the government The stupidity and ignorance of assuming your beliefs are 100% right and the beliefs of the other side is 100% wrong His beautiful description of depression That it's hard to properly evaluate a situation when your brain is the problem How he manages his periods of depression The importance of having grace with those suffering from depression Thinking of the brain as a physical organ when it comes to depression How important it is to give people the benefit of the doubt How his view of depression has evolved How to be open Please Support The Show with a Donation  


172: Mark Shapiro  

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This week we talk to Mark Shapiro about being authentic

Mark Shapiro is a former marketing director at Showtime Networks Inc., Mark left his six-figure corporate job after 12 years and is on a mission to bring more of what’s real & authentic to the world. He is the founder of, the Host of The One & Only Podcast, and a heralded transformational trainer, coach, and speaker.

 In This Interview, Mark Shapiro and I Discuss... His podcast, The One and Only What "authenticity" means to him What it means to live "authentically" Why authenticity is important How focusing on authenticity can build confidence, liberate you and fulfill you How living authentically can bring huge value to the world That it can be hard not to live authentically His choice to leave corporate America People who are not afraid to be themselves People who are afraid to be themselves How living in alignment with your core values can contribute to living authentically That we're either growing or we're dying To always keep the door open to growth and redefining who we are How to remain flexible to new ideas as we age That though we don't like to be uncomfortable, it's rewarding when we take smart risks and try something new How setting goals and being held accountable supports living outside our comfort zones Doing the thing that scares you the most first thing in the day The questions we can ask ourselves to see if we're living authentically Please Support The Show with a Donation  


171: Charles Fernyhough  

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This week we talk to Charles Fernyhough about the voices in our heads

Charles Fernyhough is a writer and psychologist. His non-fiction book about his daughter’s psychological development, A Thousand Days of Wonder, was translated into eight languages. His book on autobiographical memory, Pieces of Light was shortlisted for the 2013 Royal Society Winton Prize for Science Books. 

His latest non-fiction book is called The Voices Within. He is the author of two novels, The Auctioneer and A Box Of Birds. He has written for TIME Ideas, Nature, New Scientist, BBC Focus, Guardian, Observer, Financial Times, Literary Review, Sunday Telegraph, Lancet, Scotland on Sunday, Huffington Post, Daily Beast and Sydney Morning Herald. He blogs for the US magazine Psychology Today and has made numerous radio appearances in the UK and US. He has acted as consultant on theatre productions on Broadway and the West End (‘The River’, Royal Court, 2012, and The Circle in the Square, 2014; ‘Old Times’, Harold Pinter Theatre, 2013), numerous TV (BBC1 and Channel 4) and radio documentaries and several other artistic projects. 

He was shortlisted for the 2015 Transmission Prize for the communication of ideas. He is a part-time chair in psychology at Durham University, UK, where he leads the interdisciplinary Hearing the Voice project, investigating the phenomenon of auditory verbal hallucinations. 

 In This Interview, Charles Fernyhough and I Discuss... His new book, The Voices Within: The History and Science of How We Talk to Ourselves The stages of speech in childhood development and how it relates to our inner voice in life The theory that says that our internal speech comes from external speech that we hear/the dialogue we hear as a child which we eventually move inward and it becomes our internal speech Vygotsky's theory What inner speech does for us Inner speech plays a role in regulating behavior It has a role in imagination and creativity It has a role in creating a self That the fact that we create and construct a self, doesn't mean that it is an illusion The theory that says that inner speech is how we bring different parts of our brain together into a coherent narrative How using inner speech skillfully can give us significant advantages in life That talking out loud to yourself actually probably serves some useful function Social speech - private speech - inner speech As the task gets more difficult, children and adults move from inner speech to more private speech How difficult it is to study inner speech The dialogic thinking model How his research that shows it can be helpful to teach mentally ill people who hear voices in their head to think differently about this form of inner speech Theories about why people hear different voices in their head That there is a strong correlation between childhood trauma and hearing voices in one's head as an adult That people hear the voices of the people in books that they've read Experiential crossing How to work with your inner speech to improve the quality of the experience of your life How difficult it is to silence your inner voice so it's better to learn how to productively interact with it, even dialogue with it  


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170: Daniel Levitin  
  ©Peter Prato

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This week we talk to Daniel Levitin

Daniel Levitin is an award-winning scientist, musician, author and record producer.

He is the author of three consecutive #1 bestselling books: This Is Your Brain on Music, The World in Six Songs and The Organized Mind. He is also the James McGill Professor of Psychology and Behavioural Neuroscience at McGill University in Montreal, where he runs the Laboratory for Music Cognition, Perception and Expertise.

Dr. Daniel Levitin earned his B.A. in Cognitive Psychology and Cognitive Science at Stanford University, and went on to earn his Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Oregon.

He has consulted on audio sound source separation for the U.S. Navy, and on audio quality for several rock bands and record labels (including the Grateful Dead and Steely Dan), and served as one of the “Golden Ears” expert listeners in the original Dolby AC3 compression tests. 

He taught at Stanford University in the Department of Computer Science, the Program in Human-Computer Interaction, and the Departments of Psychology, Anthropology, Computer Music, and History of Science. Currently, he is a James McGill Professor of Psychology, Behavioural Neuroscience, and Music at McGill University (Montreal, Quebec), and Dean of Arts and Humanities at the Minerva Schools at KGI.

His latest book is called Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era

   In This Interview, Daniel Levitin and I Discuss... His new book,Weaponized Lies: How to Think Critically in the Post-Truth Era Evidence-based thinking Critical Thinking The myth that the MMR vaccine causes autism The difference between correlation and causation Belief Perseverance The danger of adopting a belief before all of the evidence is in That we tend to make decisions emotionally rather than based on evidence Persuasion by association How important it is to question the status quo Information overload His book, The Organized Mind What's wrong with multitasking The effect of multitasking Rapid task switching Decision fatigue The benefits of restorative time for the brain His book, This is Your Brain on Music The 6 songs Daniel Levitin gave his friend who didn't really get rock 'n roll The songs he would add to that list now The role of music in our brains How music and the arts can regulate our mood The power of the arts to re-contextualize things for us Music therapy vs Music and emotion The role of opioids in experiencing musical pleasure     Please Support The Show with a Donation  



169: Richard Rohr Part 2  


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This week we talk to Richard Rohr, again

Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard’s teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized.

Fr. Richard is the author of numerous books, including  The Naked Now, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, His newest book is The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation.

In This Interview, Richard Rohr and I Discuss... That the normal two paths for expanding the soul are great love and great suffering Suffering = whenever you're not in control That Jesus is a map of the human journey That if there's no good reason for suffering you have every right to be negative and cynical How the honeymoon period and the grief period are non-dual states What you're learning in these times is how to stay there and if you don't do this you loose the wisdom that comes with suffering If you don't transform your suffering you transmit it That growth occurs when an individual has just the right amount of feeling safe and ok within the conflict And friendship and love give us this safety to hold us Order - Disorder - Reorder How we don't really want to see the pattern of loss and renewal in life When you hear truth, don't ask "who said it?" Just ask, "is it true?" And if it's true, it's always from the Holy Spirit How important the undeserved nature of Jesus' suffering is Grief = Unfinished hurt How we grow up in a world that is disenchanted That it's hard to heal individually when the culture one lives in is so dysfunctional Clear seeing means seeing the whole picture without our filters in place How love applies to imperfect things, and it's a terrible mistake to wait for things that are "worthy" of our love and perfect The reality and wisdom of "carrying the burden of the self" The greek word for sin literally means when you're shooting the arrow and you miss the bullseye which doesn't mean a culpable thing that makes God not like you How the clergy haven't been very motivated to move beyond a simple, punitive version of God because it keeps the laity codependant on the church Relationships based on Guilt and Shame and You Owe Me are largely co-dependent in nature - it passes for love but it isn't Much of religion - the church, catholic and protestant is built on codependence between the laity and the clergy It has been job security for clergy to keep things this way because you keep people coming back on shame and guilt (the lowest level of motivation) The truth is that God is infinite love. Any other version of God cannot continue and it doesn't lead to God's true nature Evil is almost always absolutely sure of itself - it suffers no self-doubt That faith is balancing the knowing and the not knowing How fundamentalist Christians have moved too far away from this That the great sin of America is superficiality How democracy only works if the people have some degree of awareness and critical thinking The incarnation is finding God IN things, in this world Christian meditation is freeing yourself of yourself so that you can see God in everything The "true self" is unique for every person and is also completely united The "false self" (not the bad self) is the raw material God uses to break you through to your true self. It's cultural, it's passing Please Support The Show with a Donation  


Mini Episode: God and the 12 Steps  

Many people could benefit from a 12 Step program to help handle their addictions but the issue of not believing in God can be a real blocker for them.

I discuss a way to use 12 Step programs while not believing in God.

168: Richard Rohr  


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This week we talk to Richard Rohr


Fr. Richard Rohr is a globally recognized ecumenical teacher bearing witness to the universal awakening within Christian mysticism and the Perennial Tradition. He is a Franciscan priest of the New Mexico Province and founder of the Center for Action and Contemplation (CAC) in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Fr. Richard’s teaching is grounded in the Franciscan alternative orthodoxy—practices of contemplation and self-emptying, expressing itself in radical compassion, particularly for the socially marginalized.

Fr. Richard is the author of numerous books, including  The Naked Now, Falling Upward, Immortal Diamond, His newest book is The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your Transformation.

In This Interview, Richard Rohr and I Discuss... Non-dualistic thinking That non-dualistic thinking is not a balancing act, but rather it's about holding the tension of opposites The difficulty of living without resolution The human psyche identifies with things - it searches for an identity The story of the tree from the garden of Eden is a warning against thinking one knows what perfect good and perfect evil is. It's a warning against dualistic thinking. Trans-rational thinking is beyond access to the rational mind The 6 things that require trans-rational thinking How we can be active in our world but not hate our enemies That we've confused information with transformation Soft Prophecy That the message of the prophets is only about 2% about foretelling Jesus How important it is to change your mind How we've confused cleaning up, growing up, waking up and showing up in our lives That the ego wants 2 things: to be separate and superior Projectors vs Introjectors That prayer is about changing you, not changing God You'll be as hard on other people as you are hard on yourself     Please Support The Show with a Donation  


167: Erik Vance  


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This week we talk to Erik Vance about the power of our expectations

Erik Vance is a native Bay Area writer replanted in Mexico as a non-native species. Before becoming a writer he was, at turns, a biologist, a rock climbing guide, an environmental consultant, and an environmental educator.

His work focuses on the human element of science – the people who do it, those who benefit from it, and those who do not. He has written for The New York Times, Nature, Scientific American, Harper’s, National Geographic, and a number of other local and national outlets.

His first book, Suggestible You, about how the mind and body continually twist and shape our realities was inspired by his feature in Discover.

  In This Interview, Erik Vance and I Discuss... All the ways that our brain twists reality in order to make what it expects into reality How our brains are driven by expectations How we take the past, apply it to the present to predict the future Whether we were alive at the same time as saber tooth tigers How powerful the placebo effect How the placebo effect actually generates the neurochemicals in our brain we would expect to see It's not that we imagine we feel a certain way; we really do feel it. "It's All in Your Mind" is totally true How we have a wave of information from our brain, and a wave of information from our body; where they meet is what we feel His experience of being electro-shocked at the NIH How our brains don't want to be wrong How we all have different responses to placebo and type of placebos The gene that helps predict whether you might be a placebo responder Placebo and chronic pain Belief and expectation play a large role in chronic pain The trouble to create new drugs given such high placebo response rates How nocebo's work How much of our pain is create by our expectations The power of hypnosis Hypnosis compared to meditation How fallible our memories are How easy it is to create false memories in people     Please Support The Show with a Donation  

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

166: Adyashanti  


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This week we talk to Adyashanti about waking up

Adyashanti, author of The Way of Liberation, Resurrecting Jesus, Falling into Grace, and The End of Your World, is an American-born spiritual teacher devoted to serving the awakening of all beings. His teachings are an open invitation to stop, inquire, and recognize what is true and liberating at the core of all existence.

Asked to teach in 1996 by his Zen teacher of 14 years, Adyashanti offers teachings that are free of any tradition or ideology. “The Truth I point to is not confined within any religious point of view, belief system, or doctrine, but is open to all and found within all.” Based in California, Adyashanti teaches throughout the U.S. and in Canada, Europe, and Australia.

  In This Interview, Adyashanti and I Discuss... That our work as humans is on the journey from a walking contradiction to a walking paradox That if we see something out of alignment with our value system we feel it in our body as tension That our bodies are our best aid when it comes to navigating our inner consciousness That there are different types of awakening That awakening is a fundamental shift of identity The primary task of any good spiritual teaching is not to answer your questions but to question your answers What to do when you WANT to change but then you can't seem to change The 5 foundations of spirituality What is my aspiration? That wanting to feel pleasure can only take us so far When we start feeling better we'll stop looking deeper Never abdicate your authority That "true" meditation is the art of allowing everything to be exactly as it is That meditation is there for us to get experiential insight into the nature of our being, our consciousness The importance of bringing your intelligence along for the ride in meditation To let go of what the outcome should be in meditation Our whole body is a sensory instrument through which we experience life That self-inquiry is joining the intellectual mind with the contemplative spirit An unresolved deep question is often what sparks an awakening How contemplation is different from meditation and inquiry The three means of evoking insight: contemplation, meditation, and inquiry The Jesus story is a map for awakening How the Jesus story is so compelling What life is like for awakened people That awakening can be sudden and/or it can be a gradual unfolding How enlightenment is the end of one game and the beginning of another The difference between exploration and seeking Whether or not psychedelic drugs play a role in awakening Please Support The Show with a Donation  


165: Dean Quick  


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This week we talk to Dean Quick about the healing power of music

Dean Quick, MT-BC is the Program Director and Board Certified Music Therapist for TranscendED, a treatment center for eating disorders. He also provides broader music therapy through his personal practice. He is also a member of the Music Therapy Association of North Carolina.

  In This Interview, Dean Quick and I Discuss... His work as a music therapist for people with mental illness How he works with clients who have no musical ability or skill That live music is most effective as well as the client's preferred music in music therapy That music bypasses the cognitive processes of trauma and allows a person to reach a place within themselves that might otherwise be difficult to access How Gabby Giffords has used music to retrain her language That music can ignite the brain unlike anything else Where someone would go to explore music therapy as a patient That music can be used as therapy for children with developmental disabilities How music can be used by anyone as therapy on their own as therapy with some simple approaches Being mindful of the power of music in your own daily life Honoring the feeling in the moment with music Asking yourself "how am I honoring my feeling in this present moment" How we can engage with music in a mindful way to increase the power it has in our lives Using music to pace your practice of progressive muscle relaxation Why it's better to choose our own music rather than buying music playlists that are "for relaxation"     Please Support The Show with a Donation  


164: Emma Seppälä  


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This week we talk to Emma Seppälä about success and happiness

Emma Seppälä, Ph.D is Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and the author of The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success. She is also Co-Director of the Yale College Emotional Intelligence Project at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and a Lecturer at Yale College where she teaches The Psychology of Happiness.  She consults with Fortune 500 leaders and employees on building a positive organization and teaches in the Yale School of Management’s Executive Education program.  She graduated from Yale (BA), Columbia (MA), and Stanford (PhD).

  In This Interview, Emma Seppälä and I Discuss... Her book, The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success The false notion that in order to be successful you have to work so hard that you postpone your happiness The 6 major false theories that are behind our current notions of success The false theory of "You can't have success without stress" That our stress response is only meant to be fight or flight, not "most of the time" That high adrenaline compromises our immune system, our ability to focus, make good decisions The role of meditation in one's success What prevents us from getting into a creative mindset How to manage your energy vs managing your time What we can learn from the resilience in children and animals Where veterans and civilians can go to learn the art of breathing to recover from trauma For Veterans: Project Welcome Home Troops For Civilians: Art of Living How "looking out for #1" can actually be harmful to you Why workplaces are incorporating compassion training     Please Support The Show with a Donation  


163: Srini Rao  


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This week we talk to Srini Rao about being unmistakable

Srini Rao is the host and founder of The Unmistakable Creative podcast. He has written multiple books including the Wall Street Journal bestseller The Art of Being Unmistakable; and his latest book: Unmistakable: Why Only Is Better Than Best

He is the creator of the 60-person conference called the Instigator Experience; He has an economics degree from the University of California at Berkeley and an MBA from Pepperdine University. In This Interview, Srini Rao and I Discuss... His book, Unmistakable: Why Only is Better than Best That the process holds so much joy and that there really is no moment of arrival How doing the work itself is the reward and the importance of being present The temptation of trying to copy something that works and expect the same result The three layers under which everyone's unmistakable nature lies Stories, Labels, and Masks The story of I have enough and the story of I don't have enough That labels limit our capacity The importance of constructing environments That 96% of personal development projects fail Just because it's a best practice doesn't mean it's best for you That life is basically just one giant experiment The idea of being ready and how it gets in our way How crucial it is to commit to the process rather than the outcome The insidious nature of validation Our warped perception of longevity     Please Support The Show with a Donation  



The Middle Way- Mini Episode  

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The Middle Way

One of the wisest teachings I have found is the middle way. Both Aristotle and the Buddha taught it. The Middle Way has been used as a wisdom tool in many traditions.


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Which Wolf are You Feeding

Which Wolf Will You Feed

It also often features different animals, mainly two dogs.

162: Greg Marcus  



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This week we talk to Greg Marcus about the spiritual practice of Mussar

Greg Marcus has a BA in Biology from Cornell University, and earned his Ph.D. in biology from MIT.  He worked for ten years as a marketer in the Silicon Valley genomics industry, after which he became a stay-at-home dad, writer, life balance coach, and biotech consultant. Greg’s first book, Busting Your Corporate Idol: Self-Help for the Chronically Overworked, is a five star Amazon best seller. His latest book is called The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar

In This Interview, Greg Marcus and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His book, The Spiritual Practice of Good Actions: Finding Balance Through the Soul Traits of Mussar Mussar: A Thousand Year Old Hebrew Spiritual Practice Soul Traits That you can be too truthful and it can  be counter productive That being untruthful to spare yourself embarrassment is not ok That being untruthful to spare someone else's feelings can be ok And the intention is the most important determiner of whether or not to tell the truth Choice points The evil inclination and the good inclination Mussar helps us by opening the space between "the match and the fuse" That we all have free will but it's not always accessible to us What qualifies as an act of kindness Mussar = "Extreme Spiritual Fitness" Morning Mantra, Daily observations and practices, Evening journaling Mussar helps you specialize and deepen your knowledge and practice of the Soul Traits The four assumptions of Mussar: We all have a divine spark that is occluded by our baggage We all have the same Soul Traits but we have different amounts of each We have a conflict between the good inclination and the evil inclination We all have free will and it's not always accessible to us That patience is the cure for helplessness Mussar: repairing the Soul Traits within us and how it can help the world     Please Support The Show with a Donation  


161: Brian Tom O'Connor  

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This week we talk to Brian Tom O'Connor

Brian Tom O’Connor is an actor, theatre director, cabaret performer, and formerly depressed guy who stumbled onto the source of joy and happiness in the background of all experience. 

He is the author of the book: Awareness Games: Playing With Your Mind to Create Joy In This Interview, Brian Tom O'Connor and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book, Awareness Games: Playing with Your Mind to Create Joy Real reality vs Virtual reality Why games are a more effective approach than questions to exploring awareness The fact that you don't have to believe anything to play a game That trying to reproduce an experience isn't doable That trying to get rid of an unpleasant feeling isn't doable That the mind is an excellent servant but a poor master The power of noticing "the whiteboard itself" rather than what's written on it The three basic questions: What's in awareness now? What is awareness? Who/what is aware? The Future Fishing game The Past Catching game The game, Slippery Mind That awareness games can be a good break from a serious meditation practice The benefit of allowing emotions to flow through you The game, Include Include Include Please Support The Show with a Donation  
160: Emily Esfahani Smith  


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This week we talk to Emily Esfahani Smith

Emily Esfahani Smith is the author of The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters

She graduated from Dartmouth College and earned a master of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania.

She writes about psychology, culture, and relationships. Her writing has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times,Time, The Atlantic, and other publications. Emily is also a columnist for The New Criterion, as well as an editor at the Stanford University's Hoover Institution,


In This Interview, Emily Esfahani Smith and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable Her new book: The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters The difference between happiness and meaning That the defining feature of a meaningful life is connecting and contributing to something that lies beyond the self The three criteria of a meaningful life: feeling that one's life is significant in some way, feeling that one's life is driven by a sense of purpose and feeling that one's life is coherent That human beings are meaning-seeking creatures That there's more to life than feeling happy That our current culture doesn't emphasize meaning and purpose Victor Frankel's important work related to the role of meaning in our lives The role of meaning when facing adversity That responsibility and duty are wellsprings of meaning That the wellsprings of meaning are all around us The four pillars of a meaningful life: Belonging, Purpose, Storytelling, and Transcendence The wisdom in what George Eliot has to say about the people that keep the world going in small yet indispensable ways: that the goodness of the world is dependent on their unhistoric acts What kind of relationships lead to a sense of belonging That purpose can come in all shapes and sizes That reflecting on the story of your life can lead to a greater sense of meaning in your life The two different types of storytelling That transcendent experiences are crucial to having a greater sense of meaning in life The good news about what's happening to us as a species       Please Support The Show with a Donation  
Koshin Paley Ellison  


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This week we talk to Koshin Paley Ellison

Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison, cofounded the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care,  which delivers contemplative approaches to care through education, direct service, and meditation practice. 

Koshin is the co-editor of Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life Care . He received his clinical training at Mount Sinai Beth Israel Medical Center and the Jungian Psychoanalytic Association. He began is formal Zen training in 1987. He is a senior Zen monk, Soto Zen teacher, ACPE supervisor, and Jungian psychotherapist.


In This Interview, Koshin Paley Ellison and I Discuss... The One You Feed parable His new book: Awake at the Bedside: Contemplative Teachings on Palliative and End of Life Care The influence of his grandmother on his life and his work The story that changed his life forever That to truly love someone means to love all of the parts of them, even the ones you don't understand or like The importance of asking "where am I contracting away from things around me?" How we get into trouble because of our aversion The power of asking "I'm so curious about why you are angry?" Learning how to feel the feeling without becoming the feeling How his job is not to change people but to be with people That it's difficult for someone to move until their cry has been fully heard and received The healing connection with other people That dying people reflect on how well they loved and who loved them in their lives The recipe of resiliency: Including ourselves in how we care, the importance of community and having a contemplative practice with a group The relationship between having a contemplative practice and caring for the dying Learning how to give and receive freely = generosity To show up with beginners mind, to bear witness and identifying the loving action are the three important teachings for service Operationalized meditation
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