The Sportive

The Sportive

United States

The Sportive is a comedy podcast devoted to Minnesota sports and other wastes of time. Join us weekly as we drink the pain away. Weaknesses: audio quality and preparation. Strengths: creative swears and inspired rants. Winner of the 2014 City Pages “Best Sports Podcast” award.


#203: Hooray For Less Shame  

Stu and Jon discuss: - Stu's profuse apologies about the Wild - A brief Gopher hoops postmortem - Twinselsong - [Loon noise] - The latest Vikings disaster - Stu's Second Act

#202: Thwarted By a Talking Dog  

0:45 | Gopher bucket preview using the patented Sportive Torque Meter(r)
13:11 | Poor Jon is asked to talk about the Loons
23:18 | CROSS-SPORT TALKER: which is in worse shape, the Twins starting staff or Vikings offensive line?
27:30 | Twins trivia
39:45 | Jon predicts when the Wolves will win the championship
48:15 | Clarence's shitty impression

#201: Glorifying Shambles  

​- Time to disband the Loons? - State tourney hockey hair: still a thing? - Clarence apologizes to Thibs - Why does the Big 10 hoops tourney exist? - PJ Fleck: good crazy or bad crazy? We land on a hard-fought compromise

#200: Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon  

Jon, Stu, and Clarence gather for a Poochie-free celebration of Episode 200. TOPICS, listed by person: 0:00 - Harry Chapin 3:45 - Adrian Peterson 16:00 - Derek Falvey 24:00 - Gopher hoops (!) 30:20 - Mr. Puck 46:00 - The United season is upon us 51:00 - A special thank-you to the listeners 54:00 - A special gift to the listeners

#199: Sliding Dorks  

We're back at Surly to talk about our two reactions to the Ricky Rubio trade/non-trade (depending on the results), the odd behavior of the Loons, hockey bye weeks, Gopher basketball, major league baseball, and the Dad Oscars, also known as the Movie Neumys, also known as the MooNeums.

#198: I've Got the Most Egg  

​Stu called in sick but the rest of us covered: 1:10 - The Twins are a 1982 Tercel (this makes sense) 24:00 - Clarence's shitty impressions 31:30 - Boudreau is child of satan 35:24 - Gopher hoops: tourney bound? 42:00 - grab bag: Wild, AP on the Packers, Clarence's heartfelt apology to Beyonce and more

#197: The Bone Blind Spot  

The newly-minted Unsanctioned Official Podcast of Surly Brewing dropped by Surly, the busiest place on Planet Earth, to discuss: the Super Bowl, the Wild, the Twins "Process", the Wolves, the Loons' lack of marketing, 1990s rap music, murder mysteries, whether Chip and Joanna Gaines are more popular than NASCAR, and other such wildly popular topics.

#196: Two Beta Cucks Checking in on the Sports  

​Light on topics, heavy on tangents: 3:35 - Who to root for in the super bowl 17:00 - Stu's murder mystery weekend 26:50 - National signing day 42:00 - Wild + best all-star games 1:06:00 - Clarence hating on Bey again Plus lots of laughs. Tune in and win.

#195: I Never Hated Steve Grogan  

​A rare in-studio episode! Discussed: 2:05 -- Getting pre-furious over the trade of our favorite adult son Ricky Rubio 21:00 -- Brandon fails at defending his Patriots fandom 26:00 -- Wild: good or lucky? Plus a few more amazing hockey fixes 40:10 -- Mourning the Dozier non-trade 50:30 -- Lightning round: Gophers, Loons, Stu's new gig

#194: The Curse of the Millennial Pants  

​1:30 - Who do we most want off the Vikings roster? 7:15 - Stu's tips on how to hate the Packers 28:00 - When should we start getting mad at the Twins boy wonders? 33:00 - Wild parade route planning with Mr. Puck 38:30 - Wolves FAQs including Rubio rumors and whether or not we're still Wiggins haters (we are) 48:45 - Stu's Storytime. DO NOT miss this.

#193: Golden Gophers Praise Shower  

​[1:00] FLECK TIME [20:30] Besides Chocolate Thunder, who else on the Wild is good? [35:20] B narrowly avoids a mental breakdown discussing the Wolves. We also discuss the MN athletes who have driven us the most insane. [47:00] NFL playoffs divisional round preview Sorry about the puns.

#192: Everything is Random, and the Only Constant Is Death; Eat At Arby's  

Amidst the warm, cozy surroundings of Insight Brewing, Stu and Jon fought through microphone problems and talked about: - Firing Tracy Claeys - The Wild's season so far - Brandon's Unabomber Wolves Manifesto - Weekend plans

#191: Carrying Water for Schisms  

(​1:00) Gopher football controversy (22:00) List: local coach most likely to get fired (27:00) Another of our notorious Zimmer debates (47:30) Do we believe in the Wild yet? (68:00) Dad Life: how long can you hold off putting your kids in organized sports?

#190: The Desolation Enthusiast's Desolation  

Stu and Jon go it alone, make it through about 40 minutes worth of sports, and then just give up and babble for 20 minutes. Topics: Manhattan, Kansas; Wyoming; Four Peaks Brewing and Christmas movies; the state of Montana. Also we mentioned Gopher football and the Wild and the Wolves and (sigh) the Vikings in there too.

#189: We Got the Juice  

​We lost 20 minutes of Gopher athletics hot takes to the Recording Gods, but were able to salvage: - Is Spielman on the hot seat? - A tribute to the late Bob Schnelker with a reading of the Jerry Burns rant - Is the Wild hot start sustainable? - Who is B blaming for the Wolves this week?

#188: War Crimes On Our Ears  

It's a rare "Cool Guys" episode featuring the two-man lineup of B and Stu. Discussed: ​[1:14] Vikes: fansplaining, injuries and a midseason Bros & Turds [20:00] How to get through this Wolves season (spoiler: shruggy guy emoticon) [28:00] How long is the leash for the new Twins brain-trust? [40:06] The Grammys, The Neumys, the Poochies and the worst songs of the year [61:05] Dad Life: when does playtime stop being the worst?

#187: Rehab That Cornea  

Discussed: 0:00 | Things that suck: the Vikings, eye surgeries, Bill Beavers, Kevin Lynch, US Bank cronies, everything involved with or related to the Wolves, (Slight detour to give advice to Wolves fans on how to survive the season), haters hatin' on Hinkie, Leidner, Tracy Claeys and the Minnesota Wild 56:00 | Things that don't suck: our promised deep-dive on the new Gilmore Girls

#186: You Have to do the Butt Shakers  

​ 3:20 | Fired Jurgy 17:20 | Castro signing (a rare Sportive Consensus was reached) 23:00 | Vikings: Purmur, Patterson and predictions 37:30 | Wolves PANIC 50:15 | B argues Gopher hoops are fun 59:30 | B's harrowing jazzercize class

#185: Hatred, Fear, and the Vikings Offensive Line  

Brandon and Jon gathered at Legends to go through Brandon's ten questions of doom. Four of them were about the Vikings, at least one was about the Twins. Aspersions, related to Norv Turner and Ricky Rubio, were cast. Plus: How much would you have to be paid to watch Gopher hoops?

#184: Election Special  

Fair warning: We talk politics. We don't stick to sports. If you don't wish to hear that, go ahead and delete this. David Brauer joins Brandon, Jon, and Stu, and special guests Zach Floyd and Joey White appear.

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