The Sportive

The Sportive

United States

The Sportive is a comedy podcast devoted to Minnesota sports and other wastes of time. Join us weekly as we drink the pain away. Weaknesses: audio quality and preparation. Strengths: creative swears and inspired rants. Winner of the 2014 City Pages “Best Sports Podcast” award.


​ #219: The Beaver Looms, and the Lightning Strikes  

0-35min | our hotly anticipated Vikings training camp preview

35-55min | Jim Garcia trade review

55ish-end | FJM concert, our picks for song of the summer and other nonsense

#218: The Whizzinator of Bat Corking  

​GREAT EPISODE despite our spirit animal/co-host Clarence no-showing us again. Discussed: (0-25min) Wolves got a lot better and WE ARE LIVID ABOUT IT (25-40min) Jon explains the NHL expansion draft shenanigans (41-66min) Will Sano hit 40 bombs? Will Dozier hit more homers than Rosario walks? How many wins will they get? Those answers + more in our rest-of-season predictions bit.

#217: Hello, Neumans  

Stu was the only host available this week, so he roped in The Comely Mrs Stu for pert near an hour of sports-ish content.


B and a substitute co-host break down the Jimmy Butler trade. How he fits in, how many wins he adds, whether or not we'll miss LaVine and Dunn blah blah yada yada WE GOT BUTLER.

#215: The Charging Grandpa  

(1m-21m) We are the ONLY media members to question the draft strategy of the Twins boy geniuses

(21m-27m) Did the Vikings start practicing yet? A short investigation

(28m-33m) Mound-charging strat

(33min-end) NHL and NBA finals reviews PLUS Clarence unsuccessfully trolling B about LeBron

​ #214 - You Get Embarrassed Before You Get Full  

​0:00 | TWINS TALK. Trying to make chicken salad out of the pitching staff + continued pre-fury about Hunter Greene 36:30 | Head scratcher over a future NHL draftee 57:30 | Clarence's shitty impersonation 3.0 1:10:00 | In honor of our friend Michael Rand's triumphant 15-taco lunch, we each select the food we could eat the most of. B's selection was met with disgust and anger.

#213: Hrbek-Based Gaslighting  

​0-22min | Twins: Buxton, pitching woes, preparing for the collapse 22-34min | Stanley Cup update 35-65min | DAD LIFE: we just barely avoid collapsing into emotional puddles

#212: The Outstate Chronicles  

Stu and friend of the podcast/chip judge Josh record a show among the hayseeds. Discussed: Twins, Zim, a farming/crossfit quiz, flaming couches and Waylon Jennings deep cuts.

#211: Hot And Ready for Five Bucks Arena  

​Stu and B run dat two-man game again. Discussed: - Berrios! - Our friend Parker committing light treason - Getting old sucks - Why B hates the Warriors - Eulogies for Ailes and Cornell (spoiler alert: we are HAPPY about one of the deaths and SAD about another. Tune in to solve the mystery.)

#210: Pure Uncut Colombian Nonsense  

We got the whole band back together! ​1:30 | Making chicken salad out of the Vikings draft 22:30 | Buxton MVP tracker and a Jose Berrios eulogy 45:00 | Clarence's plans for the NBA draft lottery 1:01:00 | Are the Loons good now?

#209: The One Where Stu Talks To Himself  

Stu was the only one available this week and he soldiered on alone for a 20-minute monologue. The show's editor is posting this without listening first, so no one but Stu knows the contents. God help us all.

#208: The Borscht Is Poison  

Jon and Stu meet up at Surly to discuss: * The NFL Draft and how the Vikings will screw it up * The end of the Wild season * Russell Westbrook * Vadim Demidov and the rest of the MLS salaries * Byron Buxton * The Official Beer of Summer

#207: Embrace the Maritimes  

​(0:00) Wild in-series review and disappointment level (25:25) Theories on why everyone hates Joe Mauer + the weekly Buxton MVP Tracker (45:45) B drafts an NBA playoff team for everyone Plus some takeage on "The Americans" at the end. Listen and learn, friends.

#206: Compromise the Yeast  

Stu and B talk: - Wild game one review - VERY IMPORTANT GUIDE: How to watch hockey - Buxton's current MVP ranking (~630) - A quick Wolves/Thibs season review - Spirit Airlines: the dollar store of the sky

#205: Who Doesn't Like Old Band-Aids  

Jon and Stu return to Surly to talk about Surly, but also about: - A Wild playoff preview - The Twins' seven-game review - Trevor Winter's new job - Stu's Annual Best Of St. Cloud Awards In conclusion: Xtra-Citra. Thank you.

#204: Turds All the Way Down  

​45ish minutes of a Twins preview including a HOT Stu prediction, followed by a truly awful set of Wild questions from B and an even awfuler Towns take from Clarence. Firing on all cylinders over here. Tell your friends.

#203: Hooray For Less Shame  

Stu and Jon discuss: - Stu's profuse apologies about the Wild - A brief Gopher hoops postmortem - Twinselsong - [Loon noise] - The latest Vikings disaster - Stu's Second Act

#202: Thwarted By a Talking Dog  

0:45 | Gopher bucket preview using the patented Sportive Torque Meter(r)
13:11 | Poor Jon is asked to talk about the Loons
23:18 | CROSS-SPORT TALKER: which is in worse shape, the Twins starting staff or Vikings offensive line?
27:30 | Twins trivia
39:45 | Jon predicts when the Wolves will win the championship
48:15 | Clarence's shitty impression

#201: Glorifying Shambles  

​- Time to disband the Loons? - State tourney hockey hair: still a thing? - Clarence apologizes to Thibs - Why does the Big 10 hoops tourney exist? - PJ Fleck: good crazy or bad crazy? We land on a hard-fought compromise

#200: Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon  

Jon, Stu, and Clarence gather for a Poochie-free celebration of Episode 200. TOPICS, listed by person: 0:00 - Harry Chapin 3:45 - Adrian Peterson 16:00 - Derek Falvey 24:00 - Gopher hoops (!) 30:20 - Mr. Puck 46:00 - The United season is upon us 51:00 - A special thank-you to the listeners 54:00 - A special gift to the listeners

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