Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom

Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom

United States

Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

Episodes

373-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Diamonds on the crevice of your ??? I'll give you three guesses.
We have so much to share with you! Get ready to pull 'em high and tight! This week we tickle some bodies with our new favorite Disney star, talk about Tom's time in West Palm Beach, and find out just how unparliamentary Elizabeth May can get when she's had a few drinks! Jeans up!!

372-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

We love our brothers and sisters to the North, but there's one lady in Parliament who clearly isn't on board with the show - she's anti F-A-R-T! Please keep heckling her.

You think you know Tom and Tina, but have you met Karen and Bobby? They're here unless they're drinking or smoking or having sex.
Plus an outrageous call with Top Dog and Charo and some amazing clips including one really cool lady who loves when guys spray their love on her (face).
This episode is LOADED.

371-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Would you marry your mom? Really. That's so cool, cause like, me too. Kiss her for real. 

The Mommies moved this week and with a lot of help came a lot of stranger dumps. So many. 

Plus a really massive, fat lady will let you pay to watch her be gross. Master of Accents, Pup Play and a lot more. As always, Bert is so fat and it's being celebrated all over the world. 

370-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

We did it, We locked down the guy who will call you a C**T to your face. That's right, Dan Pena is on the show! 

So fun to talk to the master of cursing in business. Dan was as fun as you might imagine. 

Plus the Jeans are not only fresh off their Bannismurfurney where they got a Couples Massage (yuck), Tina also claims disrupted relaxing time with a F-A-R-T. 

AND, seems that President Camacho is actually going to run the free world. Interesting times ahead!

Many Masterful Accents in this one!

369-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Even babies know the truth - Bert IS fat, but also our dear friend Burnt Chrystals has a new special coming to Showtime called The Machine and he goes by the name Bert Kreischer in it. Plus Tommy and Tina watched the movie, Shark Bites - you might like but it has one BIG flaw (same as the Martian with Matt Damon). 

There's a really white DJ who really feels comfortable with BIG WORDS and all kinds of accents to master in this one. Who is the Water Champ? Now we can all be with the NEW Water Champ shirt! Get one for Christmas or just to show everyone who H2Flow is in your house. 

Keep those jeans up!

368-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

NO Loose jeans allowed here. We find the ultimate dad boner who relights the fire that only Garth can put out. Plus, Tommy AKA Tomaso speaks eh, de Espanish on TV, we have Would You Rather, Perfect Smiles and MORE!

367-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

This week on YMH, Tom and Christina take a look at Christina's ex-boyfriend who know works as an insane deck hand, a couple of fighting brothers who desperately want you to look at them, and go in depth on Tom's most recent physical

366-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

This week, the mommies watch a bunch of public service announcements, some hilarious, some horrible. They also get a translation for the Persian voicemail, which kicks us off to a journey into Christina's childhood. Wipe down!

137-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Can someone fit their D**K AND Balls into a woman at once? It's something we explore at length in this very special Friday release episode. If you haven't yet figured it out this episode is very much NSFW or for those of you that listen on speakers in public places - this audio will definitely lead to you getting fired or losing friends/family. If every one knows that you're bald then when you wear a wig we all know that's not your hair, Jason Alexander. Pretty girls will always be annoying if you allow them to be. When you ignore the stupidity that oozes out of their mouths you're helping them become more interesting. This is the secret to life. 

Yoshi-138-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

The Mommy Dome is rarely at a loss for words, but one guest has the special skill to leave us near speechless and he's back. Yoshi Obayashi, the Japanese/Korean/Pornagrapher/Ho expert/Samurai is always up for sharing a story that is honest, in your face, and leave you begging for humanity to better itself. His 3rd visit is no disappointment as we cover his recent exploits at Comic Con, getting prostitutes south of the border, being a loner, Asian shame, and soooooo much more - like erotic optical illusions! Some Mexicans don't look Mexican, mommy!

139-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Blue jeans, Blue jeans, oh where are thou Blue jeans? If you liked the first bonus ep we released get ready to lose your mind with the second one. Christina's dad came into our studio for nearly 2 hours and dropped so much science we both have degrees. It's heartwarming, hilarious and incredible insight into what made Tina mommy who she is today (she's like a dog - you'll see). Plus we visit the new Weiner scandal and read some of his hysterical (creepy) texts and NEW Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut and for the first time ever we take YOUR calls. Sorry for the call waiting beeps. We're figuring it out, but we loved hearing your love issues. We love her!

136-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Is Sum Ting Wong? Me no no? When news organizations air racially offensive names we're the ones that say, "Thank you. Can we have some more, please." Do you need mo' PWESSHAH? Also, if you don't crash planes then you don't get pranks like this pulled on you. Aunty FeeFee is back letting the lord speak thru her heart. Her pen hits the paper and some unoriginal song comes out of her mouth. A Very DEEP and gripping BROWN TALK that will leave you wiping for days (down, of course). NEW Real Talk and the mommies discuss possibly doing additional episodes in the near future. 

135-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Make Fitness! It's essential to a long life and having big arms. We talkin 22's, son! Whatchu know bout that? Tommy and Tina are working hard at being champs even though it sucks. We FINALLY resolve the butthole icecube debacle and it's pretty ramsted. Plus you can suck your momma. But we have even bigger news and that is that BRACE is back! Yeah, more Brace philosophy, more Brace juice and we address the question you've all been wanting to ask - DID BRACE TAKE "COOKIN IT" FROM THE MOMMY DOME?????? You'll just have to listen to find out. Suck your momma!!

Mo Mandel-132-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Mo "Mohan" Mandel also known as the Jewish Ghandi in the comedy world is our guest and he is 16 t*ts worth of fun! A prolific writer, Mandel tells us you can also be a successful writer if you REALLY want it, but if you REALLY want to be a great baseball player, well, that's too bad. Mo also tells us about his hilarious, Northern-California upbringing that included anal sex, anxiety, open relationship, and Mo's "indie rocker" faze. Mo also shares a great story about Jim Gaffigan throwing down in a comedy club - something we've all wanted to do (beat people, not tell a story about it). Dental Update, Julio Iglesias and more! Don't act like yo bootie fat if it isn't!!

Catherine Reitman-133-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Oh my my, what a treat do we have for you. Fantastic, funny, a true delight - Mrs. Catherine Reitman joins us in the Mommy Dome. An old comrade of Tom's, Catherine fits right in like she's been in 1000 times. We get into Downton Abbey and oh heavens my is it simply delightful to converse with someone who appreciates all of Mr. Fellowes work. We discuss mommyhood (real), conflict, childhood, passive aggressive/sarcastic parents - yeah, real interesting, kid. Catherine shares what it's like to grow up in a wildly succesful family, but not turn out to be a huge a**hole - what's the secret? Listen and find out! Lots of Hungarian heritage in this one - BAZMEG!! 

134-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Ohhhh jeans, your jeans, how bright they are to have more jeans like mine! If you make it to 100 years of age chances are you'll wish you had some d**k or p***y, but will you have the courage to say that? One 100 year old lady made it clear that that's the only thing on her mind and it's glorious! Lucky for all of us the great TOP DOG joins us again and this may be his ALL-TIME greatest appearance. What begins as a discussion about public restrooms and which airports are the best to dump in soon becomes a discussion about the effects of war - and the thrill of killing the enemy. Top Dog talks about the bond formed from being in combat with one's fellow man and the joy of finding another man's head blown off. It's amazing to the 10th degree! No Loose Jeans Allowed!

Sam Tripoli-140-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Crime fighting extraordinaire, Armenian revolutionary, self-proclaimed deviant and somehow still good guy, Sam Tripoli is in the Mommy Dome. When "Trips" is in the room it's a non-stop party from beginning to end. We talk shop and having a gambling dad who "smashes black ass," nightmare gigs, strippers and so much more. Sammy also comes close to breaking records on Tom or Black, plus Dental Updates and more!! Don't forget to watch Tommy's new short film, "9 Inches" on his YouTube channel. 

141-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Some have had the never to criticise this show for being less than sophisticated. To those that have unflattering remarks about us we present to you Episode 141. The Mona Lisa, the Sistine Chapel, and now this very episode of Your Mom's House with all mentioned in the same breath. We examine the meaning of life, the purpose for which one exists and we might just have an answer to the question, "Is there a God?" Give this podcast a listen and you'll be pleased by what you hear. We also take more calls from our listeners about Love! Can you feel that? That's your jeans getting TIGHTER! 

146-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Texas was off boot kickin good time, ya'll! We tell ya all 'bout it! We want your crazy trucker stories, truckers. Tell us about lizard lots. Real Talk: Naked and Afraid is Lame and Dumb. Inside the Vietnam War is very informative and gets a pass on racial slurs - pretty awesome, huh? We never watch shows when they're hott, son. That's why Christina is just now watchin The Sopranos, you know what I'm sayin? Aunty FeeFee knocks it out of the park again. Just when you think she can't wrap God and something unrelated into a song, she blows your mind. Tommy and Tina give you the list of what they're most thankful for. What are you most thankful for? Beef? Your Phone? We have crack whores talkin smack before they shoot adult stuff too. It's a good day!

Brandt Tobler-147-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Mayday Mayday Mayday! Mommy Down! That's right, this episode there's only 1 mommy, 1 pair of lower, looser jeans. It's sad, but don't worry. Tina mommy will end up being okay. She's resting and getting new denim to make her feel better. This episode we have the very funny, unpredictable and completely outrageous, Brandt Tobler in the Dome. Nicky Santoro is a more welcome sight in casinos than Tobler. If you think I'm kidding, just listen. Tobler's stories are so incredible you genuinely feel like he's telling you fiction - but he isn't. He's done more and seen more than most people see in 10 lifetimes. It's always great to get a comic in the building with all kinds of crazy stories to tell. Buckle up on this one. We guarantee you'll be wanting to hear more from Tobler. Don't forget to follow him -- @brandtTobler 

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