Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

United States

Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura are comedians who are also married. They are the Mommies and they welcome you to join them. Dental updates! Dudes! Stories! Wiping!

Episodes

413-Brendan Schaub-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

When you make a Big Brown do you flush it down? Here at YMH we show it proudly. Our Big Brown can even talk - it's wild. 

We have stinky Vajees and how to detect them, we have surprise Big D's and obvious ones too - Hello, Takeo Spikes!

All around good fun with our bud, Brendan Schaub. 

Plus a DENTAL UPDATE and a whole lot more. 

412-LIVE From West Palm Beacb-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

This is how it's done. The South Florida mom's came out in full force and we had the best time. 

We hope you enjoy this live episode that featured Fill Her Ups, Would You Rather's and so much more. 

Make sure you put on sunblock under your jeans before you listen to this one, Jean. It was after all recorded in Breast Balls Beach, Florida. 

411-Matt Fulchiron-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

Uh oh, it's time to get your act together. Your baby's father, The Concierge, is in the building. If you don't know, now you do. Matt Fulchiron AKA The Full Charge is back and in top form. 

We break it down. Everything. 

How embarrassed would you be if you made poo in someone's bed? We found someone that doesn't seem that mad.

Are all women Ho's in the context that this man explains?

is digital Black Face a thing? I don't know, but we sure are probably guilty. Also, it's not a thing. 

Sit back, relax and let this one flow. 

410-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

If you're ever attacked you should consider biting your attacker below the waist! But only after you seduce him into thinking you're into him sexually. We recommend an hour or more to really trick them!

Plus, Why are some farts hot? Why do those smell more? 

AND are you willing to wait in line to eat somewhere good? No thanks, Jean. 

When you visit Singapore keep an eye out for an older, gay, how you say, Gentleman. He knows what he wants and it's a lot. 

Put pee in your butt because we just found out it could solve this country's problems. 

409-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

What if you wipe yourself with toilet water to save paper but you flush a bunch so you're actually wasting water? Can you really say you care about the environment? Not sure, but you're definitely probably vegan.

Plus, when blind people dream do they "see" what we do? Only twins with different sized penis can help us answer these important questions. 

We get the stories the OTHER podcasts choose to ignore. F*** you in your a**? We'll be right there. 

408-Ms. Pat-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

What if it's only smells, but also it turns you on? Is that okay?

What kind of smells get your engine going? Ladies, we're talking to you. 

PLUS, when Dad Boners are into animals and by animals we mean bees, it's borderline disturbing. 

AND the great Ms. Pat is back for amazing, honest and absolutely hilarious conversation. Her new book, RABBIT: THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MS PAT goes on sale August 22nd. Be sure to pick up a copy of this incredible book. 

407-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

We want you guys to orgasm all the time, even when you hug someone or shake their hand or just stand up. That's our mission and we hope this episode guides you to the forbidden place where we live. 

We have some great listener emails this episode PLUS a dad boner that gives Canadian highway dad a run for his money. 

And a white girl that uses BIG WORDS prompts a debate - Do you ever accept white people doing that? 

Wait til you hear Kim Ahn and Mr. Rub Rub Rub together. 

406-Yoshi-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

Thank God for feminists like Roman who are out there every day fighting the good fight. He's out in the streets encouraging women to fart in his face. If it weren't for guys like him, would ladies even know they could fart???

Plus, TOP DOG gets on a call to go over a recent "ACCIDENT." 

Did you knoe R Kelly actually wanted to marry his mom? 

AND the great YOSHI joins once again for more of his hilarious travel tales. 

405-Brent Weinbach-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

Some women associate giving birth with PAIN. Are they dumb? Maybe they just haven't been taught yet. They SHOULD be having orgasms. That's what childbirth is all about. 

PLUS, could Tommy's REAL mom be the fart mistress we've all wanted? 

AND special guest Brent Weinbach joins us. 

You wanna talk some s**t?

404-Sam Tripoli-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

When Tommy boy arrived in Los Angeles with hope in his eyes, it was Sam Tripoli who made Tom sit on the casting couch and earn his stage time thru butt spreads and oral favors. Kidding! That's a dream (for both guys). 

Sam Tripoli is a tornado on stage and off. Check out his new double album, The Diabolical and his numerous podcasts, including Punch Drunk and his new conspiracy theory podcast, Tin Foil Hat. 

We go hard on this one and big laughs are had the whole way around. 

403-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

We have found a secret that even Wikileaks couldn't get. There is a man who may or may not be Ryan Sickler that gave a chocolate kiss to Hillary Clinton and we have the DETAILS!

You are NOT ready. 

PLUS, would any of you like to come over for moose soup later? What if we smoked two packs a day and slept with the whole village? Okay, see you at 7!

Two hot new joints make this episode the kind you just want to put on some new jeans and rock out to. 

 

402-Wheeler Walker Jr-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

You have to be careful with a penis when it's really big cause you might end up dead! This South Florida man is really in a tough place (murder charge) because of it. 

Plus how many people/hours does it take for Johnny Depp to get ready? Let's take a guess!

AND special guest Wheeler Walker Jr. joins us and blows us away with his amazing voice and beautiful voice. Ol' Wheeler has got some pipes on him. 

401-Ari Shaffir--Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

When a longshoreman doesn't feel like talking, you better get to walking or you're gonna get trespassing. That's just the way it goes. 

Plus, your feedback is boring in for Christina's Fart Mistress Shed. Will she go thru with it? 

AND we have a new awful work song. It's really quite depressing. Hope you enjoy it!

The real news is Ari Shaffir is not only back from his vision quest, he's actually HERE, in the mommy dome. He has a new special coming to Netflix July 18 called Double Negative. Oh and he still owes Tommy and Bert a trip. 

400-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

It's here in all its glory - episode 400 of Your Mom's House! And finally we face the question that has been bugging us all - will Christina BaBoey Chusay Oh Tom's B-Hole? A real conversation takes place. 

PLUS, will Tina start a side business in a shed? 

Is there someone out there who laughs as hard as Top Dog at awful jokes? 

We have those answers and more! Pull em up!

399-Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura  

There's a wise, older Asian man that can have an orgasm without ejactulating and every time he shakes from within his prostate it's like watching a parade: pure, unadulterated joy. 

Aside from that this episode is full of fun. We have a man that uses ALL the Big Words he can think of, PLUS a job orientation that rivals the infamous Let's Get Social song. 

We have a follow up on Shaq's biggest "toe" and a big announcement for Tommy's fall shows. Plus, don't forget to MAKE FITNESS in our new official Fitness tank. 

(Imagine the sound of the Asian man shaking from the inside here). 

398-Top Dog & Charo-Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura  

Do you like heavy breathing into the mic? CHECK! What about laughing uncontrollably at street jokes? BOOM! Anybody poop their pants lately? You guessed it, Top Dog is in the building and he brought his Peruvian princess with him. 

Before we get to that we've got people marrying themselves and buildings, plus what's the opposite of a happy Dad Boner? Is it Dad Rage? Whatever it is, we found him too. 

 

397-Joe Rogan-Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura  

Oh Snap! We got the PodFather. The Mighty and Powerful Joe Rogan joins us to discuss all things JEAN. 

From the crazy current state of politics to some all time dad boner moments, Joe weighs in on it all. 

He even answers the question: Would you date your mom? 

Spark one up and pour some out, this is an all-time classic. 

Pull em up!

396-The REAL Water Champ, Martin Riese-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

This one is particularly Amaze, Jean. 

Nothing like the police scaring you as you literally swim with sharks. Hear the REAL audio and decide if you'll ever swim again. 

Plus, does anyone deserve a beating the way people who WISH they were disabled do? Can we start a fundraiser to get them their wish?

We have a Horrible or Hilarious that is not, well, hilarious. So, just listen. 

AND, has Tommy finally crossed the line with Tina and his grossness? 

To make things even better we have our first guest in ages in studio. This guy is the REAL WATER CHAMP. It's water sommelier, Martin Riese. Get ready to get educated in everything H20. 

395-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

Does thinking about your family turn you on? Think harder. Now are you feeling it? Let's talk about something that your brain does a good job of blocking out. 

Plus Tommy got food poisoning. Can you guess what type of food caused it? Can you guess where you shouldn't buy that type of food from? Bingo.

Just as Tina and Tommy realized they could plug in more than one thing in their bedroom, they also have come to the conclusion that they can buy more than one clock. Hear the riveting story.

AND even more unsolicited callers weigh in on the personality battle. Who do you find more charming? 

394-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura  

A lot people have opinions on their dog food like they know what their dog can taste, thankfully one guy dove in for the rest of us and taste tested different dog foods. We have the amazing results. 

Plus, single dad, Tom takes his son to the mall and gets some alarming looks. Would you look at Tommy that way? 

A "You Know" champ comes to us from the least expected place AND it seems like the Personality Championship can be put to rest. We have audio for you to consider. 

JEANS UP!

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