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Aubrey Beardsley – hyllad och hatad dekadent dandy i svartvitt  

Den brittiske illustratören Aubrey Beardsleys (1872-1898) sätt att betrakta och beskriva omvärlden gjorde honom både hyllad och hatad – men framför allt omskriven. Han blev en av det förra sekelskiftets största kändisar, med en stil och ett rykte inte helt olikt en självförbrännande rockstjärnas. Han blev bara tjugofem år. Aubrey Beardsley festade förvisso och beskrevs som ”spöklikt mager”, men anledning till hans död hette tuberkulos, en då obotlig sjukdom. Men under sitt korta liv och karriär gjorde han intryck, som gett avtryck ända in i vår tid. Han förekommer på affischer, skivomslag och i modevärlden – där hans ande svävar bland samtida illustratörer, på olika vis. Snyggt klädd var han också. I veckans STIL berättar vi mer om denne märklige man.

Aubrey Beardsleys stilrena garderob var influerad av den franske poeten Charles Baudelaires tankar och texter om "dandyism". Genom att klä sig medvetet nedtonat, men mycket omsorgsfullt, kunde man genom sin stil markera att man tillhörde, eller ville tillhöra, en ny typ av intellektuell elit, menade Baudelaire (som själv alltid bar helsvart). Och intellektuell var Aubrey Beardsley, utan tvekan. Han slukade böcker och sög i sig kunskap som en svamp. Även böcker om medicin där han studerade illustrationerna på aborterade foster och exempel på hur olika sjukdomar kunde vanställa kroppar. Det fick han nytta av som illustratör. Men han hade även koll på modetidningar och visste vad han tyckte om dåtidens överlastade dammode - löjligt. Kvinnorna i hans illustrationer bär ofta långt mer bekväma känningar. Under andra halvan av 1960-talet ställde Victoria & Albert Museum i London ut hans bilder - som passade tidens trender. Hans bilder med erotiska och "dekadenta" inslag snappades snabbt upp olika rockband. Beatles omslag till Revolver är inspirerad av hans stil, och han är en av personerna på omslaget av skivan Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, från 1967. De är långt ifrån ensamma om att ha inspirerats. I veckans program har vi tittat närmare på psykedeliska konsertaffischer från 1960-talets San Francisco. Under den här tiden jobbade radioveteranen Lennart Wretlind i en liten skivbutik strax söder om San Francisco. Han sparade affischerna som han nu - 47 år senare - ställer ut på Rönnells antikvariat i Stockholm. Vi har också pratat med illustratören Liselott Watkins som ofta fått höra att hennes illustrationer påminner om just Aubrey Beardsleys. Om henne talar vi om vikten av pennor med. Och så har vi mött Sven Bertil Bärnarp som varje vecka tecknar serien "Medelålders plus" i Dagens Nyheter. Veckans gäst är Björn Atldax, konstnär och illustratör och en av männen bakom Cheap Mondays döskallelogga.

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Aubrey Beardsley  

Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen on the Victorian artist Aubrey Beardsley, whose shocking originality he compares to that of Alexander McQueen. Laurence's first foray into art was copying Beardsley drawings to sell at his school - with the more erotic ones fetching a premium price... Biographer Matthew Sturgis fills in the detail of Beardsley's short but extraordinary life, and Matthew Parris presents. Producer Beth O'Dea.

How Aubrey Marcus Grew Onnit to $28 Million in Revenue  

Growing a $28 million business isn’t easy. Especially when the business is Onnit, built in the highly-competitive supplements space. In today’s podcast, I talk with Aubrey Marcus, the founder of Onnit, about his epic experiences. You’ll learn how to build a business, the secrets to forming relationships with VIPs and famous entrepreneurs, where to find hidden advertising opportunities, and tons more.

Full show notes at http://okdork.com/podcast/27

Breaking Rules with Onnit CEO Aubrey Marcus  

When most people interview entrepreneurs, they talk exclusively about business tactics. But, ultra-successful entrepreneurs don’t get to where they are just focusing on their business mindset. The MOST successful business people also focus on how to optimize their life, happiness, and mindset in ALL areas. In this interview, I’m going to give you a rare behind-the-scenes look at how Aubrey Marcus, the CEO of the 8-figure business Onnit, optimizes his entire mindset

Full show notes at http://okdork.com/podcast/26

Harddisken: Har vi teknologien til evigt liv? 2017-06-09  

De fleste af os regner det for at være fuldstændig uundgåeligt, at vi en dag skal dø. Men i Californien bor en mand, der mener, at det ikke bør være sådan, og at vi om meget få år har teknologien til at lave det om, og udskyde alderdommens sygdomme og skavanker så længe vi vil. Han hedder Aubrey de Gray, og han er et stort navn i Silicon Valley. Harddisken ser på den teknologiske jagt på det evige liv. Vært og tilrettelægger: Chris Lehmann. www.dr.dk/harddisken

TMHS 224: Unconventional Exercise And Creating An Alpha Brain - With Aubrey Marcus  

There are many paths to our fitness goals. Some will get you there faster than others. And some will get you there so overly yolked that you look like crossfitting, keto eating Hulk Hogan.

Having 24 inch pythons like Hulk Hogan probably isn’t the goal for everyone. But getting to our body composition and fitness goals injury-free is. We’ve become strangely trapped in our linear movements in exercise today. Press with both arms in one direction with equal weight (i.e. bench press), squat up and down with both legs with equal weight (i.e. barbell squats), pull yourself straight up with total symmetry (i.e. strict pull ups), and these are the basics of our exercise programs today.

Don’t get me wrong, those movements are all valuable and popular for a reason. But, we may have gotten so set in those movements that they may have put us at a disadvantage when it comes to moving in the real world.

In reality… in life, and in competition, very rarely are you facing resistance that’s perfectly balanced on both sides of your body. That said, a healthy, almost necessary adjunct to training for life is to have unconventional resistance, unbalanced stressors that our body’s have to adapt to, and tools that make it easier (and safer) than that nutty buddy who has the picture of himself doing barbell squats while standing on top a swiss ball on social media.

For unconventional training, there’s one person who jumps right in my mind. He’s the man behind one of the biggest brands in the world in natural nutrition and unconventional training. He didn’t just create a company, he created a movement. And this movement has athletes the likes of All-Pro safety Earl Thomas from the Seattle Seahawks, UFC champion Tyron Woodley, and hundreds of thousands of everyday people from all around the world getting Onnit and transforming their bodies and their lives. Aubrey Marcus is in the house and he’s dropping some serious knowledge bombs! Click play, focus in, and enjoy!

In this episode you'll discover: What growing up around athletes can instill in a child’s mindset. Why having a coach that makes you feel bad can be counterproductive. How to find more balance in helping our kids to decide their path in life. What unconventional training means. Why today’s typical training methods do not mimic reality. How unconventional exercises can help to injury-proof your body. Where the kettlebell originated and what it’s best applications are. What some of the biggest mistakes with the kettlebell swing are. Why steel clubs and steel maces were developed for warriors. The #1 exercise someone with muscle imbalances from their sport (like swinging a baseball bat or golf club from the same side for years) needs to be doing. Why battle rope exercises meet a need that no other conventional HIIT method can deliver. Why battle ropes are great tools for people who are just beginning to get in shape and for experienced exercisers as well. What it means to become physically literate. What some of the greatest athletes on the planet carry in their mindset (this is valuable!). How Aubrey was able to bypass “parasitic capitalism” and create a real movement. What rigorous, double-blind, placebo-controlled studies were able to reveal about the Alpha Brain supplement. The truth about caffeine and why it’s not an ideal long-term solution for focus and energy. Why feeling that you’re not enough is one of the biggest hindrances of success. Items mentioned in this episode include: Onnit.com/Model
TDFEP410-PremiumPhoneBonus  

So this, as with all the premium eps, is in addition to the regular podcasts. What you will hear here is Andy and I talking about the ep. The full episode is at  https://thedorkforest.bandcamp.com/  for $2. No obligation, hundreds of free eps are also here… this defrays cost and is, essentially, a bonus ep. LIVE in Portland, OR at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival w MANY local dork luminaries. Opening music by Aubrey and Angela of (http://www.thedoubleclicks.com/ @thedoubleclicks) and then great gaming talk with Eberron Creator (DnD world build for 3 and 3.5) Keith Baker (@hellcowkeith) and his partner in NEW games Jennifer Ellis (www.twogetherstudios.com) It’s live. It’s great. Enjoy. WELCOME to year ELEVEN of TDF. This is a Premium episode... there are hundreds of FREE episodes on iTunes orwww.dorkforest.com  New Album available on Amazon and iTunes now and later. “I Am Not the Hero of This Story.” Real CD on the website. As well as the rest of the Merch! CD, DVD, links to watch my comedy. You can also get a dork forest tshirt or any of my CDs or DVD at www.jackiekashian.com USE THE AMAZON link on the main page or on the SUPPORT THE SHOW page. No additional charge to you and Amazon kicks back to TDF. Thank you! The support the show page also has the donation link. Knock yourselves out. credits Audio leveling by Patrick Brady  Music is by Mike Ruekberg  Website design by Vilmos: hiredguncoding.com

EP 87: Overcome the Fear of Success and the Fear of Failure with Becca  

This episode is about overcoming the fear of success and the fear of failure. During the coaching session with Becca, it is clear she intellectually knows what she needs to do to build her business, but she can’t commit to doing it.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode87]

Everyone defines fear and success differently, but usually our fear of success has to do with being seen more, feeling unsafe, feeling more responsibility for changing, or changing or losing ourselves in some way. Our fear of failure normally has something to do with rejection, loss of money, or status, or security, judgment from others, or our own self-criticism that we endure if we fail.

So, how do we overcome these fears? It's about more than taking action steps towards your goals. Maybe, you have tried to overcome it by just doing whatever it is. But, until you upgrade the beliefs and old triggers, which perpetuate the fear, you will continue to find yourself in your own way.

Many people think money will make them feel better about themselves or make them more confident. But it doesn’t — confidence is an inside job. We can’t create self-worth from money, but we can create net worth from self-worth.

When we have self-worth and do the internal work, we express our gifts and align with our higher purpose. We are then able to attract money to us. It is important for us to have a wealth consciousness.

Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. There will be yoga, breathing exercises, ecstatic dance and more. Come and become part of the tribe.

My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining.  Or, ask Jill about a private one-on-one session.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● What are your fears around failure or success? Do you know what to do when it comes to your business, but you aren't doing it?

● Is there a part of you that has longed to fit in?

● Do you feel guilty if you have too much good in your life?

Becca's Question:

Becca is about to start a new quest but she finds herself unable to get started.

Becca's Key Insights and Ahas:

● She didn’t like growing up privileged.

● Cooking is her way of connecting to people.

● Guilt and shame were at the core of her eating disorder.

● She enjoyed having a secret, which was her eating disorder.

● She has an unhealthy relationship with money and success.

● Her guilt prevents her from stepping into her passion.

● She is scared not to have connections with people.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● She needs a new image of what success and wealth look like.

● She should write out her new definition of fitting in, and her definition of success.

● She needs to give herself a feeling of longing and connection.

● She needs to work on feeling grateful.

● She should get a business coach.

Takeaways:

● Write out your new definitions of success and failure. Get clear about how you want to define success.

● Write out your worst-case scenarios around success and failure.

● Identify the payoff of your negative emotions and find a way to get the payoff in a positive way.

● If you are starting a business, invest in a coach to help hold you accountable.

Sponsor:

Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial with this link. 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

Inner Circle Membership Community

Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler

@christinhassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@Christinehassler.com

Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat

Sean Croxton Sessions

Quote of the Day Show with Sean Croxton

Episode 2,440: Bristol Marunde, Mauro Ranallo, Dan Tom  

Guest: Mauro Ranallo, Johny Hendricks, Bristol and Aubrey Marunde, and Dan Tom. Ranallo discussed his latest work, which includes Rizin FF5 and in boxing, Anthony Joshua vs. Wladimir Klitschko. Hendricks recapped his week of training as he prepares for his fight vs. Tim Boetsch at UFC Fight Night 112. Tom joined the show to cover the latest news and offer some UFC 211 discussion. Bristol and Aubrey Marunde, the co-hosts of Flip or Flop Vegas on HGTV, stopped by the studio to share their experiences in filling that show.

EP 86: Why You Neglect Your Own Self-Care with Joanne  

This episode is about becoming a loving parent to ourselves. My coaching session with Joanne is a beautiful example of how important it is to give ourselves the love or attention we did not receive from our parents. Even if you had super loving and attentive parents, you should still be giving yourself the same kind of love.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode86]

A lot of people believe they can heal the wounds from their own childhood by being a different kind of parent than they had. And while breaking generational patterns is incredibly valuable, it is only 50% of how we heal. We must mother or father ourselves with the same unconditional love and attention we give our children.

Two things often come up as blocks when we attempt to take quiet time for ourselves. One, the guilt or expectation that we should be doing other things that are "more productive." Two, feelings we may not want to deal with can surface when we take quiet, meditative time.

People who have children sometimes say, "My children are my teachers." When you have children it is common for things from your childhood to be triggered. Suppressed or forgotten memories start to come forward. It is important for parents to acknowledge there may be something for them to learn from it.

Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. There will be yoga, breathing exercises, ecstatic dance and more. Come and become part of the tribe.

My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

● What kind of parent are you to yourself? Would you talk to or treat a child the way you talk to or treat yourself?

● How did you feel loved and nurtured by your parents? Are you giving the love and nurturing to yourself?

● How did you not feel loved and nurtured? How can you start giving that to yourself?

● When it comes to self-care and making time for yourself, do you find other 'to-dos' take priority?

Joanne's Question:

Joanne finds it challenging to provide herself self-care on a routine basis. She continually gives other things priority over her self-care.

Joanne's Key Insights and Ahas:

● She’s aware of how important self-care is.

● She feels mom guilt when she is not spending time with her baby.

● She is mirroring a pattern her mom had when she was growing up.

● She wanted love, attention and acceptance from her mother.

● She broke generational patterns.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

● She needs to mother herself in a way she wasn’t mothered as a child.

● She needs to acknowledge herself for the mother she is.

● She should talk to baby Joanne and be with her in a mothering way.

Takeaways:

● Make ‘you time’ a priority, and leave a space open for your feelings to come forward. Suppressing your feelings through distraction will eventually wear out.

● Give yourself the love you crave from your parents, or that you got from your parents.

● If there are issues from your parents to be addressed, write them a forgiveness letter and let them off the hook.

● Have a conversation with your younger self, and tell them anything you yearned to hear from mom or dad but didn’t.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover

Inner Circle Membership Community

Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler

@christinhassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@Christinehassler.com

Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat

University of Santa Monica

CC: Christine Answers Listener Emails  

Christine responds to questions from listeners.  The first topic is around how to set healthy boundaries and break toxic patterns with family members.  The second question is regarding whether avoiding disappointment is possible.  Listen in as Christine talks about dealing with “Expectation Hangovers” and how to purse goals without setting yourself up for a let down.

Links:

Join Christine and Aubrey Marcus for a retreat open to men and women: LOVE, PRACTICE MAKES THE MASTER. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/love-practice-makes-the-master-tickets-33443861490

Dealing with disappointment? Want to learn how to transform what Christine calls an “Expectation Hangover” into a massive opportunity for growth?  Be sure to get her latest book here:https://www.amazon.com/Expectation-Hangover-Overcoming-Disappointment-Work/dp/1608682412

 

Talksplode #72 – Aubrey Sitterson  

Thanks to iFanboy patrons, it's Talksplode time. Aubrey Sitterson writes the ongoing GI Joe series for IDW Publishing, and yes, there is a Transformer, a Decepticon even, on the team. But you might also know him as the host of Straight Shoot, "the World's Smartest Rasslin' Talk Show", and as a former editor comics, both at Marvel, and for a pre-Skybound Robert Kirkman's Walking Dead. We chat about Aubrey's career in comics, the original "plan", and where things are now. If you've ever listened to Aubrey before, you know he's got a lot to say, and with his experience in comics, podcasts, and wrestling, it's worth listening to. You can find out more about Aubrey Sitterson at aubreysitterson.com. Also make sure to check out Skald, his sword and sorcery ongoing audiobook while you're there. Total Running Time: 01:40:33 Music: “Dr. Marten's Blues” Heavy Blanket

85: Take Steps to Pursue Your Dreams with Daniel  

This episode is about taking steps towards your dream. Today’s caller, Daniel, is passionate, and his enthusiasm is contagious when he talks about his music. When he deviates from his dream to take jobs just to pay the bills, he gets depressed.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode85]

I like to say, dreams are actually our inner psychic knowing what is to come to us. Things we feel called to, from our heart. How do we know what is coming from our hearts and what is coming from our ego? Get clear about it by reading my What’s the Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise? Vlog post. Our head has wants; our heart has desires.

When we are not listening to our heart or we are not pursuing the things we love, a part of us may start engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. It's important to not have the soul sucked out of us. Feed your soul and do things to fulfill your creativity and your passion. Don't let anything suck the soul out of you!

Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. If you don’t know Aubrey, go back and listen to the Coaches Corner, Go For Your Win. He is a seeker who appreciates consciousness above all else. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

What are your dreams? Are you giving yourself permission to pursue them?

Have other people’s doubts or comments about your dreams prevented you from listening to your own inner guidance?

Do you have a limiting belief that you are too old, too unqualified, or too poor to go after what you want?

If you are in pursuit of a dream, are you actively and consistently taking steps toward it?

 

Daniel's Question:

Daniel wants to know which action steps he should take to pursue his dreams.

 

Daniel's Key Insights and Ahas:

● He feels pressure to get a regular job.

● He is a perfectionist.

● He doesn’t know if he is practical or irrational.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

He should go for it 100%; get his work out there, and identify people to emulate.

He should put together a demo reel.

He should hustle for a year before making a decision about additional schooling.

He should compose his personal mantra.

 

Action Steps:

What is your dream?

Are you going after your dream? If not, why not? What is your excuse?

What is one action step you can take to move toward it?

Post your action step as a comment to the show notes so that I may root you on!

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

What’s the Difference Between Sacrifice and Compromise vlog post

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover

Inner Circle Membership Community

Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler

@christinhassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@Christinehassler.com

Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat

Upwork

Elance

The Big Interview Presents... The Gaffer  

The latest Big Interview clip show is about the gaffer, whoever he may be. Pretty much every single footballer we spoke to during the first season of these podcasts had at least one incredible story about a manager they had played under. In this podcast you’ll meet motivators, bullies, innovators and comedians. Sometimes, that’s just one guy we’re talking about. We’re going to start and finish with two people who played under Jose Mourinho – although it is fair to say that Damien Duff and Kevin Bridges don’t have too much else in common on the footballing front. In between those two, Chris Waddle tells us what he now sees as the method behind the bullying of Arthur Cox at Newcastle United. Gary McAllister then tells us how Howard Wilkinson transformed Leeds United from a Second Division team into a side capable of winning the English Championship. Joe Jordan shows us the revolutionary preparations undertaken by Don Revie; Peter Beardsley rooms with his Fulham manager Kevin Keegan, in a flat above the chairman’s shop; Graeme Souness hears a rare team talk from Joe Fagan and Terry Butcher falls foul of Bobby Robson. Enjoy!

84: Finally Feeling ‘Good Enough’ No Matter What with Jen  

This episode is about not feeling good enough. Today’s caller, Jen, knows it is not good to believe she is not good enough, but she feels her problem is insurmountable. The essence of who Jen is isn’t broken, it’s just a pattern she’s comfortable in.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode84]

Jen is experiencing a limiting belief. It shows up in a variety of ways, like her feeling not deserving, feeling broken, or not being lovable. It can lead to insecurity, people pleasing, body image issues, eating disorders, and accepting dysfunctional relationships. During the call, I allow Jen to go on for a while because I am waiting for her to ask for help.

For those of you who are being coached or in therapy — If you are more committed to keeping your story than to truly letting go of it, you are uncoachable.

We all get attached to our limiting beliefs, because they are familiar, comfortable, and often get us the attention we are seeking and the validation or sympathy for how hard life is.

There is merit to discussing our past, and healing memories. But, we must do it with vulnerability, compassion, and forgiveness so we can let it go, to get over it and on with what we want to create.

Awareness without action is merely psychological entertainment.

Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend. If you don’t know Aubrey go back and listen to the Coaches Corner, Go For Your Win. He is a seeker who appreciates consciousness above all else. The focus of the retreat is becoming masterful at love. Sign up for this incredible retreat.

Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining my Inner Circle membership community.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

Do you struggle with not feeling good enough? Do you doubt you are worthy or capable of having the things you truly want?

When you get close to the things you want, do you often sabotage it or doubt you can keep it?

Do you make your ‘enoughness’ conditional?

 

Jen's Question:

Jen wants to know how to move past her past traumas, and change her narrative.

 

Jen's Key Insights and Ahas:

● She is holding on to an old pattern because it’s comfortable.

● She believes her failed relationships and loss of friends is her fault.

● She withdraws and isolates herself.

● She gets her value from external validation.

● She is not seeing her life accurately.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

She needs to commit to shifting and interrupting her ingrained patterns.

She can stop her thoughts of not being good enough, and create a new neural net.

She should take a lesson from the children she works with.

She should get a photo of her younger self and talk to it.

She should create of voice memo of positive sayings to herself.

 

Assignments:

How attached are you to your story? Stop telling your sob story.

Practice release writing to release emotions.

Stop your thoughts and redirect them with the help of the ‘Whoaing’ technique in Expectation Hangover.

Get a picture of your little one and use it as a way to generate love and self-acceptance.

 

Sponsor:

Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.

 

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Expectation Hangover

Inner Circle Membership Community

Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler

@christinhassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@Christinehassler.com

Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat

CC: Christine answers questions about how to not “take on’ other people’s stuff and how to restart your career.  

Jennifer is a therapist who is feeling physically depleted after working with clients.  Christine gives her best tips for protecting her energy and serving people in a way that is energizing, not depleting. 

James is 54 years old and has worked at the same office job for three decades. He is interested in shifting to becoming self-employed but is disappointed he has not been able to get his new career off the ground.

Listen in as Christine addresses both these topics.

 

Links mentioned:

Love: Practice Makes the Master!  Join Christine and Aubrey Marcus for an empowering and transformational retreat in Austin. 

 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/love-practice-makes-the-master-tickets-33443861490

 

EP 83: Letting Go of Parental “Mistakes” with Cathy.

Make sure to listen to this episode to hear Christine talk about the difference between sympathy and compassion.h

christinehassler.com/2017/04/episode83/

 

 

83: Letting Go of Parental “Mistakes” with Cathy  

This episode is about breaking the cycle of generational patterns. Today’s caller, Cathy, experienced corporal punishment as a child, and finds herself doing the same thing to her daughter. As you listen to the call, I hope you are able to separate her character from her behavior. Her behavior is a reaction to her past.

[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode83]

I’ve said many times, parenting does not come with an instruction manual.

Often, we play out behaviors we learned from our parents. It requires a conscious awareness to know what behaviors we want to leave in the past, and which we pass on to our children.

We need to have deep compassion for our parents and then forgive them, to stop repeating generational patterns. Stopping the cycle entails awareness, healing of our past hurts, and then the reparenting of ourselves to become the loving parent we never had.

Abuse continues because the victim never heals. The victim either becomes the abuser or internalizes the abuse. Often, people do not share about past abuse, because there is so much shame. This is not just true for abuse, it is for any generational pattern.

Coaches Tip — When clients share things that are hard to hear, don't go into judgment or sympathy. If you catch yourself doing so, say, "I forgive myself for judging or feeling sorry for this person," then shift back into compassion.

Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend. If you don’t know Aubrey, he is the CEO & Founder of the human optimization company, ONNIT. The focus of the retreat will be about Mastering Love, for men and women. 

Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining my Inner Circle membership community.

 

Keep These Distinctions in Mind:

Acceptance versus judgment.

Compassion versus sympathy.

 

Cathy's Question:

Cathy wants to understand how she may have adversely affected her daughter's self-esteem.

 

Cathy's Key Insights and Ahas:

● She feels she made mistakes with her first daughter.

● She finds herself going back to the parenting tactics of her parents.

● She didn't like being a girl growing up.

● Her daughter is mirroring her.

● She has unresolved issues from her childhood.

● Her mother didn't defend her.

 

How to Get Over It and On With It:

She should talk to her younger self through a photo, and tell herself she did not deserve the punishment she received.

She should work with a counselor or a coach who has experience with childhood traumas.

Research parenting and discipline tools.

When she gets triggered, she should practice giving herself a time out.

 

Assignments:

Get a picture of little you and commit to sending love to the little boy or girl inside of you.

If you are aware of your need for healing, get professional to walk you through it.

If you find yourself triggered by something, give yourself a time out.

Use the scientist technique of Expectation Hangover and become an observer in your life.

Consider what patterns you want to pass along to your children, and which ones you want to break the cycle of.

Read Family Secrets by John Bradshaw and Conscious Parenting by Shefali Tsabary.

The Big Interview Presents... Mavericks Part Three  

This is our third and final instalment in our mini series on maverick footballers - the guys who have created so many happy memories for all us football fans. If you’re into Celtic then you will probably never forget some of the special moments Shunsuke Nakamura gave to you. In this clip show, Gordon Strachan talks about all the work behind the scenes which caused that magic. Similarly, Evertonians adore Duncan Ferguson, and David Moyes explains what the big Number 9 had to offer on his return to Goodison. Also, if you are an Ipswich fan of a certain vintage, the name of Kevin Beattie may take your breath away. He is a unique character in English football and Terry Butcher describes how his former team-mate could have been one of the all-time greats on the pitch… and the running track. Finally, Tino Asprilla has often been accused of costing Newcastle United the Premier League title under Kevin Keegan. But Peter Beardsley delivers a retort in this podcast. Enjoy!

Risky Business #450 -- From Mirai to mushroom clouds in five easy steps  

This week’s show is a fun one! We’ll be chatting with Josh Corman, the Atlantic Council’s Director of Cyber Statecraft. We’ll be speaking with him about an exercise he did recently with a whole bunch of students. Basically the whole thing was a simulation where students walked through various scenarios and had to respond. Unfortunately, Josh discovered that most students had a predisposition to escalating things unnecessarily. From Mirai to mushroom clouds, that’s this week’s feature interview.

This week’s sponsor interview is also an absolute corker. Rapid7 is this week’s sponsor. In addition to making enterprise security software and running a pentest practice, Rapid7 also spends a considerable amount of time and money on developing Metasploit.

Rapid7 research director Tod Beardsley and director of transportation security Craig Smith join the show this week to talk about some recent changes to Metasploit that I’m amazed haven’t made a bigger splash. You can now run Metasploit against a CAN bus and they’ve built an RF module as well. That is absolutely awesome stuff, coming up in this week’s sponsor interview, with special thanks to Rapid7!

Adam Boileau, as always, joins us to talk about the week’s security news.

Links to items discussed in this week’s show have moved – they’re now included in this post, below.

Oh, and do add Patrick, or Adam on Twitter if that’s your thing.

Show notes Wikileaks releases code that could unmask CIA hacking operations | Ars Technica Smart TV hack embeds attack code into broadcast signal—no access required | Ars Technica Project Zero: Over The Air: Exploiting Broadcom’s Wi-Fi Stack (Part 1) Here's How Not to Get Doxed Like FBI Director James Comey - Motherboard Reinhold Niebuhr on Twitter: "https://t.co/L5ehuMFGat https://t.co/x53gCG7Nvc" Verizon Rebuts Critics of Data-Collecting App | Threatpost | The first stop for security news An Update on Verizon's AppFlash: Pre-Installed Spyware Is Still Spyware | Electronic Frontier Foundation New Mirai Variant Roars into Action With 54 Hour DDoS Attacks | Threatpost | The first stop for security news Publicly Attacked Microsoft IIS Zero Day Unlikely to be Patched | Threatpost | The first stop for security news Microsoft Offers Analysis of Zero-Day Exploited By Zirconium Group | Threatpost | The first stop for security news Hackers Are Emptying ATMs With a Single Drilled Hole and $15 Worth of Gear | WIRED Russian Hackers Have Used the Same Backdoor for Two Decades | WIRED Operation Cloud Hopper Pegasus for Android: the other side of the story emerges | Lookout Blog Someone is putting lots of work into hacking Github developers | Ars Technica FBI Arrests Hacker Who Hacked No One - The Daily Beast Hackers Hit Islamic State Site, Use It to Spread Malware - Motherboard UK Cops Arrest Man Potentially Linked to Apple Extortion - Motherboard Patrick Gray on Twitter: "Heh. I think you could call this "high confidence". https://t.co/zDCbiPmJXV" An Unprecedented Heist Hijacked a Brazilian Bank’s Entire Online Operation | WIRED Samsung's Android Replacement Is a Hacker's Dream - Motherboard Patrick Gray on Twitter: "This is interesting. Apparently RU bots hammer Trump's account with conspiracy-related material when they know he's likely to be using it. https://t.co/f38WB9uIsS" McAfee is once again an independent company - CSO | The Resource for Data Security Executives Fake SEO Plugin Used In WordPress Malware Attacks | Threatpost | The first stop for security news Hackers Can Easily Hijack This Dildo Camera and Livestream the Inside of Your Vagina (Or Butt) - Motherboard Rebuttal to Pen Test Partners Exiting the Matrix: Introducing Metasploit's Ha... |
OTH: Build Stuff Live  

Aubrey & Jocelyn from 'Adam Carolla and Friends Build Stuff Live' join Adam and Ray for a podcast about cable tension slabs, tornado shelters, and getting celebrities up on their feet to work.

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