Welcome to If I Did It where we solve PR kerfuffles from the world of MMA and beyond. This week we look at the fishy financing of WME-IMG's purchase of the UFC, Conor McGregor vs the Nevada Athletic Commission, the fall of Billy Bush and much much more. This week's kerfuffles include:
At 1:16 - You're the Nevada Athletic Commission. You fined Conor McGregor one-hundred and fifty thousand dollars, which is six times more than what the Nevada Attorney General recommended, for throwing water bottles at Nate Diaz during the UFC 202 pre-fight press conference. Was this fine intended to send a message to Conor McGregor or WME-IMG AKA the new UFC owners?
At 19:26 - You're Goldman Sachs. Bloomberg News reported last week that Federal Reserve Bank supervisors cautioned you "over risks in a debt deal (you) arranged to fund the $4 billion buyout of Ultimate Fighting Championship." Does the report require a response, and if so, to whom?
At 30:08 - You're Chuck E. Cheese. Families flock to your restaurants to avoid aggravation. Birthday parties with discipline. But according to the Washington Post, some find your restaurants are alright for fighting. For adults to get a little action in. Brawls breaking out all across the country involving as many as fifty parents, with children caught in the crossfire. What PR moves can you make to prove that "parents are able to trust that their time in Chuck E. Cheese's will be clean, safe, wholesome family fun?"
At 35:02 - You're Melania Trump. You broke the vicious political wife-cycle of serving as a PR prop for a perverted partner, standing by her man at a press conference. Instead, you sat at his presidential debate, wearing an eleven-hundred dollar Gucci shirt marketed as a "pussy bow". Your husband's campaign spokesperson may have told CBS' Sopan Deb it "was not intentional", but after watching you give Donald Trump the cheek after the debate, my spidey sense is tingling. So spill the tea.
At 46:04 - You're Moschino. Your pill-themed fashion line, with prescription bottle purses and blister pack iPhone cases, was marketed as a witty homage to 80's excess with the slogan "Just Say MoschiNO". Unfortunately for you, Nordstrom did just that. Dropping your line in wake of outrage from addiction experts and victims. In wake of this fallout, do you have a 12 step plan for PR recovery?
At 48:07 - You're Fox Searchlight Pictures. Nate Parker's rape case threatened your record setting seventeen million dollar purchase of his film THE BIRTH OF A NATION. According to The Hollywood Reporter, you "invested in public-relations experts" to "help Parker find a way to send the right message." But when he appeared on Good Morning America and 60 Minutes, "he reverted to his original position" and disgusted millions of viewers. The movie bombed last weekend. Since you purchased the film with the Oscars in mind, are there any PR moves you can make to salvage your investment when your star refuses to play ball?
At 12:23 - Curveball: You're a major MMA promotion. Troubled Dallas Cowboys defensive end Greg Hardy is talking about fighting in the cage. Do you sign him up?
At 55:39 - TEACHABLE MOMENT: You're NBC. Last week, footage surfaced of Donald Trump bragging about sexually assaulting women while former Access Hollywood and current Today Show host Billy Bush egged him on. So what did you do? You sat on it for four days, while the Washington Post scooped you and gloated that it "took five hours to vet and post its story". The fallout was so severe, your plan for an on-air Monday morning apology from Billy Bush was swapped for a suspension. You aren't crooks son, so why are you acting like shook ones?
At 1:03:19 - EUGENE'S LOST BATTALION