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Good manners, bad manners  

This young lady has good manners. She will have no problems with her future mother-in-law.

We have a saying in English “Manners maketh man”. “Maketh” is an old form of “makes” or “make”. So the expression means that, if you want to be a real man, you have to have good manners.

“Manners” means the way that you behave to other people, particularly in public. If you have good manners you are polite and courteous. You remember to say “please” and “thank you”. You make people feel welcome and at ease. And if you have bad manners you are rude and discourteous. You say unpleasant things to people. You make them feel unwelcome and upset.

If someone has good manners, we can say that they are “well mannered”; and if they have bad manners, we can say that they are “bad mannered” or “ill mannered”.

Now let’s meet Heidi Withers. She is 28 years old and works as a personal assistant in a company in London. She is engaged to be married to her boy-friend, Freddie Bourne. Freddie runs a business that sells bicycles and parts for bicycles on the internet. Recently, Heidi and Freddie went to visit Freddie’s father and step-mother, who live in Devon in the south-west of England. Most people are nervous about their first meeting with their future father-in-law and mother-in-law. Most people would be polite and well mannered. They would try to create a good impression. Maybe Heidi tried to do these things. However, it did not work. Freddie’s step mother, Carolyn Bourne, thought that Heidi was rude and bad mannered.

After the end of the visit, Carolyn thought that it was important to tell Heidi about her bad manners. She said to herself, “If I don’t tell her, she will never know.” So she sent Heidi an e-mail. “?It is high time someone explained to you about good manners,” she started, “because it is obvious that you don’t have any”.

She went on to talk about some of the terrible things that Heidi did:

Heidi stayed in bed too long.

Heidi complained about the food.

At meals, Heidi started eating before other people.

Heidi made jokes about Freddie’s family.

Heidi did not send Carolyn a card to thank her for her hospitality.

Carolyn also had things to say about Heidi’s plans for her wedding. Heidi and Freddie plan to get married in a castle. Carolyn does not think that this is a good idea. ? She wrote, “No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.” Carolyn thinks that, because Heidi’s parents do not have a lot of money, it would be better for Heidi and Freddie to have a smaller, less expensive wedding.

What would you do if your future mother-in-law sent you an e-mail like this? Perhaps you would burst into tears. Perhaps you would send a reply to say how sorry you were about your behaviour and how very much you wanted to have a good relationship with your husband’s family. Heidi did not do this. Instead, she sent copies of the e-mail to her friends. And her friends sent the e-mail to their friends. And a few days later, the story was on lots of websites and in the newspapers, and we were all talking about it. Heidi’s father told the newspapers that Carolyn was haughty and arrogant. (Actually, he said some rather ruder things than that, but it would not be polite to repeat them on a respectable website like Listen to English). Freddie’s mother, and Heidi’s friends, and all sorts of

290: Heidi Reeder | Commit to Win  

“Anybody can accomplish amazing things if they reflect on what they value and then fully commit to it.”  -Dr. Heidi Reeder

What does commitment really mean? Is it just a matter of will power and determination, or is there more to it than that?

Joining The Art of Charm to answer all these questions and more is Dr. Heidi Reeder. In episode 290, Dr. Heidi provides the science and the data behind the most pressing commitment quandaries in business, relationships and life in general.

More About This Show:

What exactly is commitment? Dr. Heidi, who has written for “Psychology Today” and appeared on “The Today Show”, defines commitment as being psychologically attached to something and intending to stick with it. So it’s a longer term process and perspective than determination and will power.

Dr. Heidi would know, her career focus is taking rigorous social science research and finding the application for it, such as her book “Commit to Win” and the 40 years of research it’s based on.

In this episode, she shares evidence that commitment is more than determination and will power, the 4 main factors that predict commitment, what random rewards are and how to utilize them in our relationships, and whether moving in together before marriage is a good idea… and many other commitment-related topics!

On the first topic, Dr. Heidi says the differentiating factor that makes a commitment a commitment is that commitment has a long-term perspective: you’re psychologically-attached and you stick in there to find and create the good. It’s like wedding vows, they are a promise you make on your wedding day. Your commitment is everything you do after that day.

The finer details of this show include:

Sliding vs deciding: what is it and why does it matter to your relationships? Familiarity does tend to breed liking: true or false? The sunk cost effect: what is it and what does it have to do with commitment? Why people with the gold memberships at the gym never show up? The Forbidden Fruit Hypothesis: fact or fiction? And so much more!

She also explains the four factors that predict commitment: treasures, troubles, contributions and choices. She also explains what each of these are. Treasures are the things that we value in a situation like a job or a relationship. If it’s a job do we feel our skills and creativity are being fully utilized? Are we being paid appropriately? Things like that.

Troubles are obviously the detractors in the situation. Is our commute to work terrible? Does our boss not respect us? All of these are troubles.

By nature as humans we look at the balance of these. Do our treasures outweigh our troubles? Then we’re satisfied. If troubles outweigh the treasures, we are not satisfied which may lead us to look for a new job.

One interesting point she raises is that satisfaction doesn’t equate to commitment. That’s where the other two factors of commitment come into play: contributions and choices.

Contributions are what we’ve put into the situation. If you’ve been at your job for a decade, you’ve invested a lot of time and energy. If you’ve helped build the company, you’ve invested a lot of “sweat equity”. In either situation, you’ve made considerable contributions to your work situation which may cause you to stay.

Which segues next to the fourth factor: choices. Even if you’ve been with your company for 10 years and helped build it, if you believe you have choices (either real or imagined) it can play a significant role in how committed you are to your job.

Another fascinating topic is random rewards and how this is useful in increasing commitment in our relationships. A random reward is something unexpected, some kind of reward we receive out of the blue. For example, everyone can bring flowers or cook on Valentine’s Day but if you do it on a date that has no significance you’re providing a random reward for your significant other. There is immense satisfaction we receive from random rewards.

And I asked Dr. Heidi something I was dying to know: what does science say about living together before marriage? Science says if you move in together as a trial run and then you decide to get married, you are significantly more likely to get divorced.

BUT you can move in together if you already know you want to marry each other before you live together. Dr. Heidi explains the scientific data behind both statements and a whole lot more on this show.

The topic of commitment is an intriguing one and I was thrilled to have Dr. Heidi’s scientific knowledge explain what it is, what the components of it are, how to increase our commitment levels, and how those components impact our life choices from work to relationships to marriage. I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I did!

Resources from this episode:

Dr. H

Brooklyn Left Me Broke and Tired  

Heidi Reinberg is tired of worrying about money. She’s 53 years old. She’s gotten by as a freelance documentary producer in New York for 30 years. But she told me her coffers have dried up just when her landlord is selling. She’s losing her apartment — one that's just six doors down from Mayor Bill de Blasio's house in Park Slope.

Heidi made her choices, she knows that. But as her own neighbor came to dominate the mayoral race with his tale of two cities — one of the ultra-wealthy vs. those near the poverty line — there's been another group in the middle that is quietly losing ground. Median rents have increased seventy-five percent in New York City since 2000, while incomes have declined by 5 percent. Heidi is one of those people in the middle: a college-educated professional who's finding that the life she's used to now comes with a heftier price tag. 

This is the story of one woman whose optimism couldn't hold up against financial realities.

We're collecting your stories, too: when was money the deciding factor for you in a major life transition? Tell us below, in the comment section. 

Heidi's apartment, in the brick building, is just six doors up from Mayor de Blasio's house in Park Slope. (Heidi Reinberg)

INTERVIEW HIGHLIGHTS

Money is hard to talk about:

I think you can talk to your friends about sex. You can talk to them about depression. You can talk about health things — what are the other taboos? You can’t talk about money. Money is the last taboo. And maybe I'm underestimating my friends, but nobody wants to hear that you're having a hard time making ends meet.

Heidi (second from right) remembers her social life being less expensive when she was younger. (Heidi Reinberg)

Defining a decent life:

I don’t want much. I just want a decent place to live and a decent neighborhood with people that I enjoy seeing in the morning, that I can have relationships with. I want home.

Dating when you’re broke:

I met somebody who’s going through pretty much the same thing right now, and things were going pretty good for a while although nobody could afford to fly to meet the other person. I think, for me at least, the stress of being optimistic all the time — there’s just not much to be happy about. I like being positive around everybody else, and I feel like I’m walking around in this constant — I’m gonna burst into tears any minute.

On shame:

There’s definitely a shame factor to it. I mean, I’ll say that. You feel like a failure. There’s just so much shame attached to money and to not making a living. 

Heidi and me in her apartment of 18 years, just weeks before she's being forced to leave. (WNYC)

Over on The Brian Lehrer Show, we've been talking about rent. How do you feel about the place you rent, and has your apartment ever really felt like home?

425 – Serving Drinks and Cocktails  

Slow dialogue: 1:19
Explanations: 3:32
Fast dialogue: 14:27

Spencer: I’m practicing making drinks for the party tonight. Do you want to try one?

Heidi: You’re the bartender? I didn’t know you knew how to mix drinks.

Spencer: I can hold my own. Okay, name it and I’ll make it – any mixed drink or cocktail.

Heidi: Okay, I’ll have a Screwdriver.

Spencer: A Screwdriver? Hmm...what’s in that?

Heidi: Aren’t you supposed to know, Mr. Bartender?

Spencer: I’ve never made one of those before, that’s all. Try something else.

Heidi: How about a Bloody Mary?

Spencer: A Bloody Mary, a Bloody Mary...do you want that on the rocks?

Heidi: Sure, that’ll be great.

Spencer: Here you are – a Bloody Mary in a highball. Enjoy!

Heidi: [Makes a gagging sound] This doesn’t taste like a Bloody Mary. It tastes like you poured an entire bottle of alcohol into this.

Spencer: Oh, come on. It’s not that bad. Here, I’ll add a little soda, and oh, I forgot the garnish.

Heidi: I don’t think that’s going to help. Can I give you some advice? Stick to shots and drinks served straight up.

Spencer: Ah, don’t lose faith in me. Let me make you one more drink.

Heidi: Okay, but make it virgin. My mouth is still on fire from the last one.

Script by Dr. Lucy Tse

Heidi Cox Interview | AfterBuzz TV’s Spotlight On  

AFTERBUZZ TV – AfterBuzz TV’s Spotlight On edition, is a long form interview series featuring actors and TV personalities discussing their roles and shows as well as their thoughts, passions and journeys. In this episode host Kari Lane interviews Heidi Cox. ABOUT HEIDI COX: Heidi Cox (born in Anderson, South Carolina) is a Los Angeles […]

The post Heidi Cox Interview | AfterBuzz TV’s Spotlight On appeared first on AfterBuzz TV Network.

Commit to Win  

Commit to Win is the title of Dr. Heidi Reeder's new book, where she explains how to harness the four elements of commitment to reach our goals. In this podcast, Heidi summarizes key points from her research.

Heidi is an associate professor in the Department of Communication at Boise State University where she specializes in the study of gendered behavior and identity, theories of commitment, as well as friendships between men and women. You will find that Heidi connects all of these topics together from a social-psychological perspective to better understand commitment as an aspect of psychological attachment. Heidi has a lot to offer here as we think through commitment in relation to our goal pusuits. She even summarizes all of this research in a "commitment formula" that you can use to explore your own commitment.

Want to learn more about procrastination? procrastination.ca

The closing song is by singer, songwriter Matt Weidinger - check him out at mattweidinger.com

Emmanuel Lepage : "René Follet est un peintre, moi, un dessinateur ; c’est un illustrateur, je pense être un auteur de bande-dessinée"  

durée : 00:21:06 - Paso doble - par : Tewfik Hakem - Suite à une promesse faite à son fils, Emmanuel Lepage signe un sublime roman graphique, en collaboration avec René Follet et Sophie Michel. Ensemble, ils racontent un Ulysse au féminin, qui, comme lui , n'aspire qu'à rentrer chez elle mais va rencontrer un certain nombre d'obstacles à surmonter... - réalisé par : Thomas Dutter

TWG 187: A Quirky Journey with Leah Follet  

This week The Wellness Guys interview superstar mom, wellness coach and podcaster Leah Follet. Leah has gone on an amazing journey towards health and wellness for herself and her family and has learnt many, many lessons along the way. A bundle of joy and energy the passion just oozes out of Leah in this inspirational, […]

Heidi Sawyer - The Intelligent Guide to the Sixth Sense  

Heidi Sawyer, a natural intuitive-sensitive and author of The Intelligent Guide to the Sixth Sense, is known for her ability to reveal and work with the deepest parts of the psyche. She helps other intuitive-sensitives discover who they are and how to use their unique skills. According to Heidi, a person with intuitive-sensitive abilities has “an extra sensory skill above the normal senses . . . an insight too wise to come from just experience.” In this intriguing interview, Heidi discusses the characteristics of intuitive-sensitives and the challenges they face because of their special gift. She explains the concept of the “One Point”—a place where the energy of the soul and the personality unite to work together—and she shares her own story of finding the One Point during the difficult birth of her second child. Finally, Heidi guides us on a journey from desire for knowledge to healing our doubts in a process she calls “The Soul Mastery: Seven Steps to Illumination.”

2. Heidi Andersen: Kraftfullheten i Meditation Och Mindfulness  

I dagens avsnitt träffar jag mindfulnessläraren, förläsaren och författaren Heidi Andersen. Heidi var bland dom första i Sverige som började med meditations och mindfulness kurser i Sverige för drygt 11 år sen. Hon har skrivit boken mindfulness för föräldrar. Hon har föreläst för bland annat Swedbank, IF och regeringskansliet. I dagens avsnitt pratar vi om vad som inspirerande Heidi till att bli mindfulness och meditaions lärare, när Heidi får jobbiga känslor och tankar hur hon hanterar dessa, hur vårt medvetande ser ut i dagens samhälle, vad är skillnaden på mindfulness och meditation, vi gör även en liten medtitaions övning och pratar om en massa andra spännande saker.

Brooklyn Left Me Broke, But I Came Back  

For more than a decade, Heidi Reinberg, a 54-year-old freelance documentary producer, lived in a one-bedroom apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn -- just a few doors down from Mayor Bill de Blasio. Then, her landlord decided to sell. Heidi got priced out of her apartment as work dried up and credit card debt mounted. In one of the first episodes of this show, Heidi and I had a frank discussion about how she got to that point, and what would come next. Her plan then was to move to Los Angeles to live with her sister. 

A year later, Heidi is back in Brooklyn, but not without making compromises. She slept in the basement of some friends rent-free for a few months. Now, she has a 25-year-old roommate. Her work has picked up and she got a unexpected cushion from the sale of some family land, but she’s still paying off debt. 

The hardest part, she told me, was learning how to reinvent her life and career when she was still mourning her old one. A year on, she still has questions about where she'll end up, but she also has a little more peace. I went to Heidi’s new place to catch up with her about the move back, the way she’s dealt with receiving help from others, and what she sees for her future.

1,064 - Spotting Trends  

What’s in? What’s out? Don’t be caught with last year’s styles! Listen to find out how to talk about the latest trends in this episode.

Slow dialog: 1:10
Explanations: 2:54
Fast dialog: 17:10

Heidi: You look very relaxed reading magazines in the middle of the workday.

Tim: It’s my job. I’m tasked with spotting new trends.

Heidi: And you do that by reading magazines with your feet up?

Tim: Why not? I also frequent places where hipsters hang out, listening to their conversations and observing what they’re wearing, eating, drinking, and doing.

Heidi: That doesn’t sound too onerous.

Tim: It’s all about finding the trendsetters, the people who are beta testers and early adopters. These are also the bellwethers for when a trend has run its course.

Heidi: Can’t you just see what people are buying?

Tim: By then, it’s too late. Those are people who are jumping on the bandwagon, not the movers and shakers.

Heidi: Well, don’t look at me. I lag behind every trend and don’t have any idea what’s in or out.

Tim: Luckily, you have me to tell you. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your choice of footwear...

Script by Dr. Lucy Tse

CoupleCEO by Scott and Heidi Shimberg | Episode 076  

In this episode Heidi and Scott Shimberg take you on a deep dive into their book Couple CEO where they teach you how to create balance between growing your business while enjoying a family and living a healthy lifestyle.

In their book, the Shimbergs take you on a journey exploring the difficulties and intimacies of living a life as an entrepreneurial couple. The goal of the book is to provide you with the secrets to living a couple lifestyle complete with business full of profit and a relationship full of passion.

This book is perfect for entrepreneurs that are interested in growing a business with their significant other or that simply want to create a valuable life together.  

About Heidi and Scott Shimberg:

“Scott and I have been working together for just shy of two decades. In the process of working together we’ve build, sold and developed roughly about a quarter of a billion dollars of real estate in the Tampa Bay area. We have found that balance of how to be successful but also enjoy a pleasant lifestyle.

Our inspiration is to inspire other entrepreneurial couples to share their business passion while living their life together. We really feel that having that personal fulfillment is important and since we figured out how to do that we wanted to put that in a book and share it with others.” – Heidi and Scott Shimberg

For a detailed summary of Couple CEO according to Heidi and Scott Shimberg CLICK HERE

For more advice, tips, and stories on entrepreneurship, join our community on Facebook and Twitter.

Category Tags: business couples, family business, relationships, working together, husband and wife, couple therapy, growing a business, teamwork, partners in crime, marriage counseling, partnership

5. Heidi Harman (Geek Girl Meetup)  

I avsnitt nr. 5 gästas Podiet av Heidi Harman!

Heidi lever verkligen entreprenörslivet och har varit med och skapat en rad olika företag och startup-projekt. Hon har bland annat grundat det internationella succékonceptet Geek Girl Meetup.

I Podiet delar Heidi med sig av massor av smarta insikter och råd kring startups och entreprenörskap.

Det och en hel del annat har du alltså att vänta dig när Heidi Harman nu kliver upp på Podiet.

Varsågod!

Podiet 0

Reaching Your Goals with Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson (Part 2)  

Total Duration 24:39

Download episode 69

In this episode I continue my interview with Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson, author of Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals and Nine Things Successful People Do Differently. If you happened to miss the first part of the interview, I definitely invite you to check that out as well.

In this episode Heidi shares insights on the difference between Be Good and Get Better Goals. Also, she addresses some myths regarding willpower, visualization, and positive thinking: topics that are often miserably mishandled in popular self-help books.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the evidence-based insights that Heidi brings to these topics. I highly recommend your next steps include getting a copy of her Harvard Business Review e-book single entitled Nine Things Successful People Do Differently. It's a very quick read and enormously practical. It's under $4 on Amazon in a Kindle format (and if you don't have a Kindle, you can download one on your computer or other device to read it).

For my premium subscribers, make sure to listen to your premium episode which includes free access to a planning worksheet to help you reach your goals this year. If you're not currently a Premium Subscriber, visit http://bit.ly/PremiumSubscribe to learn how to become one.

Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Have a great week!

5 Steps to Lower Stress and Higher Energy with Dr. Heidi Hanna  

Do you know how to operate your brain for maximal energy levels?

If you are not consciously operating your brain to maximize your energy and performance, then you're missing out.

This week, I am talking to Dr. Heidi Hanna who will teach you the simple stress management techniques she has implemented into her life, and now teach her clients, that lower stress throughout the day.

Heidi is a performance coach and keynote speaker. She has trained thousands of people on practical ways to incorporate nutrition, exercise, and positive psychology strategies to improve their health productivity and performance.

She is the CEO and founder of Synergy. A coaching and consulting company that specializes in customized health and wellness solutions for individuals and organizations.

She is also a New York Times bestselling author of The Sharp Solution: A brain-based approach for optimal performance, and also, Stressacholic: 5 steps to transform your relationship with stress, and her latest book, which I love, is called, Recharge.

In this podcast Heidi will talk about

Sleep, how much we need for optimal brain function and energy levels How having a good morning routine will set your day up for productivity How good nutrition is vital for optimal stress management and focus Why movement should be a part of every work hour (and how to do it) Why taking breaks is great for stress management and better mental health How multitasking might be linked to Alzheimer’s disease
017 Gallery Staffing: The Achilles Heel to the Art Biz. - Guest Heidi Leigh, Pt. 2 - Art Dealer Show  

As promised, we’ve returned with part two of our conversation with Heidi Leigh, owner of AFA Gallery in SOHO New York and Belcastel France. And if you liked part one, […]

The post Gallery Staffing: The Achilles Heel to the Art Biz. – Guest Heidi Leigh, Pt. 2 appeared first on ART DEALER SHOW - podcast.

Why I’m Not: A Reality TV Star – w/ guests Spencer and Heidi Pratt, and Jonathan Murray – Episode 3  

Why I’m Not: Podcast with Brant Pinvidic | Why I’m not… A Reality TV Star: with guests Spencer and Heidi Pratt, and Jonathan Murray Reality TV has produced some of the most famous and infamous celebrities in pop culture history, and the business of being famous, for being famous, is booming. But if you think being famous […]

The post Why I’m Not: A Reality TV Star – w/ guests Spencer and Heidi Pratt, and Jonathan Murray – Episode 3 appeared first on AfterBuzz TV Network.

015 The Rolling Stones Art Dealing Lesson & Guest Heidi Leigh Of AFA Gallery - Art Dealer Show  

As you know by Now, I love a good art dealer story. And our guest Heidi Leigh, the owner of AFA Gallery (Soho New York / Paris) has brought us […]

The post The Rolling Stones Art Dealing Lesson & Guest Heidi Leigh Of AFA Gallery appeared first on ART DEALER SHOW - podcast.

Show 1434  Trump attacks Heidi Cruz- Prager and Shapiro Comment  

Show 1434 Trump attacks Heidi Cruz- Prager and Shapiro Comment

Segment 1-  Is he an adult?! Dennis wonders if Donald Trump can be taken seriously on the heels of his latest incendiary tweet regarding Heidi Cruz.

Segment 2- Ben Shapiro weighs in on the Heidi Cruz attack.

 

For a great free archive of the Ben Shapiro Show visit-

https://soundcloud.com/benshapiroshow

or

http://www.dailywire.com/podcasts

 

For commercial free archived shows

visit Pragertopia  https://pragertopia.com/member/signup.php

Cost is $6.95 per month. If you can pay for only one podcast, this is the one we recommend. It is the best conservative radio show out there, period. ACU strongly recommends ALL ACU students and alumni subscribe to Pragertopia. Do it today!

 

You can listen to Dennis from 9 a.m. to Noon (Pacific) Monday thru Friday, live on the Internet  http://www.dennisprager.com/pages/listen

 

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