Let's Talk MORE About Sex  

There's a lot of misconceptions and beliefs surrounding this popular topic. And yes, there's a lot of studies you can find about sex. So today, we're going to have another educational discussion and we hope that you'll learn how sex affects your health and life. 


Garrett Halweg: Welcome back [inaudible 00:00:01] Nation. My name is Dr. Garrett Halweg. I'm at the Costa Mesa clinic, and this is Ms. Parker. This is our therapy dog, and she's going to help us out today. Our topic today is sex. Before we get started though, do you know anyone with Alzheimer's disease or dementia? Do you have a family member with dementia? Do you want to know if you're going to get dementia? For a pretty simple test, about $200 cost, we can get an APOE E/4 genotype testing that will look at your specific risks. Genes are the biggest contributor of whether or not you are going to develop dementia. This is a very simple test.

Now why is it important to get it right now? Well, there's things that we can do about it. If we intervene early we can actually change the outcome. We can even prevent or reverse. I've seen radiologic evidence for the reversal, for the growth of a hippocampal volume, which is the structure that controls memory. This is exciting stuff, and so I want you to be aware of this, and know that we can look at your genetic risks. Even, you might have a genotype that is protective that actually, you will probably achieve a very old age and never develop dementia. That's an important thing to know as well.

Let's get back to our topic. Our topic at hand is sex. Sex is a very basic and powerful drive. It is much akin to our hunger drive. I talked a couple of posts back about food. Our hunger drive is good but it can be problematic in certain ways. Obesity, right? 60% of Americans are obese. This is a problem. Sex, like that, is a powerful, basic drive that can bring unnecessary problems into our lives. I want to make sure that we talk about sex and you have a healthy understanding of sex.

First of all, let's talk about amount. How much? One study recently showed that couples that have sex at least one time per week have a greater happiness than couples who have sex less than one time a week. It's a matter of having sex at least one time per week. Now if couples had sex more than one time per week, that was okay, but they didn't show that they were any happier than the couples having sex just one time per week. I'm going to give you three typical scenarios of how this can go wrong, how you sex drive lead to problems.

The first one I would say is pornography. Pornography is harmless right? Wrong. Pornography viewing equals pornography addiction. You say, "I don't believe that. That's not true. It's harmless, it's a victimless thing. No problem. It doesn't cause any problems." Well I would challenge you this. This is a very typical scenario, and this study actually suggests that pornography viewing is pornography addiction in every sense of the word of addiction. It absolutely poisons relationships, it tanks productivity in occupational pursuits, in hobbies, in creativity, it completely destroys families, and it even robs you of your happiness, of your joy. By definition, if you did something that you knew was detrimental to your brain health, and you continue in that pursuit, you continue pornography knowing that it's bad for you, that is by definition, addiction.

Let me paint a scenario. This is a typical scenario. Wife catches husband viewing internet pornography, and I work with this couple and I ask them to give that up. I rehabilitate the couple. They find an increased joy because all this attention, all this time, all this energy from this natural, basic drive, but very powerful drive, all this time and attention is taken away from the relationship. When they return that attention, and time, and energy, and effort, and resources into their loved one, it changes things. I've seen radical transformation. It causes growth in ways that are unbelievable really. I mean 2,000 years ago Jesus even said, "Hey if you look on a woman with lust, you've created it in your heart." I think that is incredible wisdom. It speaks to the fact that when we put our attention, time and energy into other things outside of the things that we're trying to build up, they get torn down. It's just like eating. If you start out dinner with chocolate chip cookie, that's not putting our emphasis of our hunger drive in the right place. Instead we should focus on the substance, the vegetables, the good carbohydrates and protein that we need to build up our body and our brain.

Let me give you another scenario. Many times people come in on anti-depressants, or anti-anxiety medications, or high blood pressure, and they have problems with erectile dysfunction, or their sex drive, or even achieving orgasm. I want you to know that I work with many couples, and change their medication,

382: Ian Kerner | She Comes First  

Female sexuality is quite different than male sexuality.

"For a woman to turn on parts of her brain need to turn off." -Ian Kerner

The Cheat Sheet: Sexual attention deficit disorder: what is it and how does it relate to porn? Is Ian in favor of or against pornography? What is IELT and why does it matter? How often should couples have sex? What is the sex pyramid? And so much more...

When it comes to sex do men think about it more than women - or is that just a myth? And if you're in a relationship how often should you be doing it, how often is healthy? These are just a few of the questions we answer on today's show.

Joining us is sex and relationship expert and the best-selling author of several books including She Comes First, Ian Kerner. We talk about all of that and more on episode 382 of The Art of Charm.

More About This Show:

Sex is a crucial aspect of a romantic relationship, yet it's one of those areas most couples (and singles) don't have the vocabulary to talk about. Ian Kerner is a man on a mission to change that and he's written several New York Times best-selling books to do so, as well as work with clients in his private practice as a licensed marriage and family therapist.

One of the first things we discuss today is the fact that male and female sexuality are different, despite the fact that our culture treats them the same. A guy typically only needs one sexual cue to get turned on. However a woman often needs multiple cues and her arousal is much more context-oriented.

What that means is a woman often needs a safe, comfortable and secure environment without distractions in order to be fully ready for sex and orgasms. In fact, functional MRI scans have shown that certain parts of a woman's brain actually dim during arousal, the parts associated with stress, anxiety and high emotion.

So arousal cues different, but do men really think about sex more than women? Not as much as you might believe. Studies of college students have shown that men only think about sex 17-20 times a day while women think about it around 10 times a day. So yes men think about it more, but not that much more.

And once you're in a sexually active relationship, how often should you be doing it? Ian recommends at least once a week to keep the connection there and to keep that sexual chemistry in the air.

He also recommends using his sex pyramid to keep a good balance of familiarity and novelty to keep your sexual life healthy. The sex pyramid is grouped into multiple types of sex from romantic love-making to fantasy sex to sensual sex.

Ian gives us the full details of how to blend those sex groups on today's show! We also talk about how to use porn in a healthy way, how to deal with premature ejaculation and much more. Listen in and enjoy! Special thanks to Ian for being here, and thanks to you as well. We'll see you next time on The Art of Charm.


If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Ian know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter:

Click here to thank Ian on Twitter!

Resources from this episode:

Ian Kerner's web site
She Comes First, by Ian Kerner

52 Weeks of Amazing Sex, by Ian Kerner
Good In Bed
Ian Kerner on Twitter
The Art of Charm bootcamps


You'll also like:

-The Art of Charm Toolbox
-Best of The Art of Charm Podcast

Wanna leave a comment? Too bad!  

How to Be A Sexual Superhero  

This week’s show is all about the secret to your sexual powers, your sex drive! Emily talks about how to get the amount of sex you crave and what to do when your libido takes a dive. She covers some of the lesser known sex issues, including a woman with a secret porn habit, a few ladies whose husbands aren’t into sex, and a man who divorces his wife over her insatiable sexual appetite.   Throughout the show, Emily tackles common misconceptions and gives you the real sex drive facts. Whether you’re male or female, older or younger, you can have a fulfilling sex life. Just commit to a sex date and make it happen.   Emily explains why you must know your relationship limits: How do you know when to call it quits? She advises a listener with a stagnant sex life, and helps a woman whose post-baby sex life is less than satisfactory.   From mismatched libidos to mismatched desires to the best ways to spice up your married sex life, this episode addresses the most common sex drive challenges and answers a few unexpected questions! Don’t miss out on the latest Sex With Emily podcast.

SWE: Porn Star Kiara Mia Shows You How To Have Sex  

Porn Star Kiara Mia, "the Kim Kardashian of porn", gets intimate on the podcast, sharing her best moves for having sex with men and women. Naturally, she starts with oral sex on a woman (how every great relationship starts) and describes how to lick a woman to make her orgasm. Start by kissing and licking around her clitoris. Once she’s really warmed up, her clitoris is hard and she’s thrusting her hips up, go in for her clitoris (Kiara tells you exactly what to do to pleasure her clitoris and G-spot at the same time). Kiara also describes her first orgasm, and how women can experience more pleasure in their sex lives. She shares her favorite sex positions and how to move during sex.  Move back-and-forth, grind, lean forward, lean backwards, and have lots of orgasms. The more you enjoy sex as a woman, the better you will be at having sex. Kiara talks about why she’s so good at sex. You need to really connect with your partner during sex, and I’m not just talking about connecting penis-to-vagina. Tantric sex can expand your sex life.  The show ends with Kiara and I answering your questions. How do you stay in shape? What do women look for in a man? How do you pleasure a beautiful woman on the first date (someone’s presumptuous)? After you listen to the podcast, you will be ready to pleasure sexy men and women… if you’re willing to work for it.   

When Risky Sex Means Jail  

Last summer, in a Missouri courtroom, a college wrestler named Michael Johnson was sentenced to 30 years in prison for “recklessly infecting a partner with HIV.”

Johnson, who also goes by “Tiger Mandingo”, was accused of knowingly infecting his partners with HIV, although at least one of them said Johnson called to tell him the diagnosis when Johnson tested positive for the virus.

The case shed light on the stigmas surrounding sexually transmitted infections, or STIs, and especially HIV/AIDS. In more than 30 states there is a legal requirement for HIV positive individuals to disclose their status to whomever they’re having sex with. And while most people agree that honest conversation is a good practice, the laws allow people with HIV to be imprisoned for even spitting, biting or oral sex.

“Every person with HIV in the country who knows they have HIV is one accusation away from finding themselves in a courtroom,” said Sean Strub, director of The Sero Project.

Strub was diagnosed with HIV in the 1980s. Since then, treatments for STIs like HIV/AIDS has made significant progress across the globe. But Strub argues that an HIV diagnosis has continued to carry a stigma, perhaps even worse than before. And Strub said forcing people to disclose their status can backfire, and alienate a population that needs support.

While Strub is working to change the policy, New York University sex researcher and educator, Zhana Vrangalova, is focused on challenging society’s perception of risky sex.

“People really fear that STIs are more prevalent than they are…and that once you catch it you may always keep it,” she said.

Vrangalova is on a mission to de-stigmatize safe sexual behavior. Her website, for example, is about casual sex and provides a forum for people to talk about the flings and one-night stands that are usually dismissed in traditional sex education. Students in her class learn how to balance health and protection with redefining normal sexual behavior.

Jake Hernandez, a 23-year-old nursing student taking her class, has had personal experience with the same situation that got Michael Johnson behind bars. His ex-boyfriend called him to tell him he was HIV positive after they had oral sex, and luckily, Hernandez tested negative.

Jake Hernandez, 23, is a nursing student at NYU. (Ankita Rao)

While he felt betrayed by his boyfriend, Hernandez still believes society needs to challenge the stereotypes surrounded STIs and the people who have them, especially gay men. While visiting a sex shop for his class with Vrangalova, he said the assumption is, “that we just walk around having sex all the time.”

“I mean I would probably say I’ve had casual sex once in my life. If I was dating a girl would you be saying all these things?”

Why You're Not Having Sex  

A 34-year-old listener we’ll call “Marie” emailed us not long ago. She’s never dated anyone seriously. She's never been kissed, and she's never had sex. She's not opposed to any of those things. They just haven't happened for her yet. And she’s worried that if she tells a potential partner about her sexual inexperience, he'll walk away. 

Many of us aren’t having sex, for all kinds of reasons. When we asked you why you're not having sex, you told us about abstaining for religious reasons, or because of lingering fears based on what you learned (or didn’t learn) about sex growing up. We heard about not having sex because it hurts too much, or because you could hurt someone else by doing it. Some of you aren't having sex because you can't find the right partner or keep running into narrow societal standards about what’s “attractive.”

We heard from people in relationships, too, like a couple who can't agree on how much sex is enough—so they're not really having any. And a man who says everyone thinks his life is full of three-ways and orgies because he lives with his wife and their girlfriend. But in reality, he says they're not having sex at all. 

When we asked for your stories about why you’re not having sex, you also told us that not having sex can be really difficult to talk about. But by talking about it, what becomes clear is that our idea of what's "normal" might in fact be a myth. 

363: Dr. Chris Ryan | Sex at Dawn  

Sex has long been about relationships, not procreating.

"Monogamy is like vegetarianism: it doesn't come naturally to our species."-Dr. Chris Ryan

The Cheat Sheet: Why the gangbang porn category is so popular from a biological standpoint. Women are usually the most vocal during sex: why? The one surefire way to know if a woman has an orgasm. Monogamy may be shrinking your testicles: true or false? What's one of the least sexually liberated countries in the world? And so much more...

Monogamy is what we've all been told is the norm for human sexual relationships. But is that the truth or are we happiest in open relationships? What role does biology play in our preferences? And do women really desire as many sexual partners as men do?

Hear to discuss the answers to all of those fascinating questions, and much more is Dr. Chris Ryan. Dr. Ryan holds a PhD in psychology and has co-authored the book Sex At Dawn. He'll tell us all about that and so much more on episode 363 of The Art of Charm.

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More About This Show:

Dr. Chris Ryan earned an undergraduate degree in Literature, and then experienced some life-altering events that convinced him to forego his academic career and travel the world for 15 years. When his vagabonding was complete he revisited academy and earned a Masters degree and doctorate in psychology.

In his psychology programs he spent much of his time looking at the roots of human sexuality to better understand how our ancestors' sexual experiences have impacted how we have evolved into today's current sexual climate.

He's done that by studying our biology and physiology today; he says our bodies tell us our ancestors' sexual activities. For example, men's testicles are on the outside of their bodies and their sperm is released in mass quantities because they are in competition to impregnate women. Competition takes place at the cellular level, not at the physical level.

Along those same lines, the DNA that controls the volume and size of sperm and overall ejaculation is some of the most genetically-responsive DNA in our bodies. That means it responds and changes within our environment faster than any other DNA we have, so we can see what evolutionary changes are happening by studying this particular type of DNA.

Dr. Chris also shares why humans seem to have sex for reasons other than procreation. If you study other mammals about 99% of them only have sex when the female is ovulating, but not humans. Mammals in general have sex about 12 times per birth, humans about 1,000x per birth.

So why is that? Because sex is about social relationships. Human sexuality has been co-opted over time to be used for building and maintaining complex relationships, something we do very well as a species. We build communities together, and sex has played a pivotal role in doing so.

On this episode we also why open relationships can lead to healthier, happier marriages, and why some native tribes participate in partible paternity where multiple men father the same child.

But the final thought Dr. Chris leaves us with is the importance of respecting women. He gives scientific and historical evidence to show why shaming their sexual behavior and choices is like poisoning your own drinking well. When women are respected and can feel safe expressing themselves everyone in society wins.

Dr. Chris had so much knowledge to share, it was great to have him here! A big thank you to him for joining us for this episode of The Art of Charm. As always, thank you for being here too. We'll see you next time.


If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Dr. Chris know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter:

Click here to thank Dr. Chris on Twitter!

Resources from this episode:

Dr. Chris Ryan's web site
Sex At Dawn, by Dr. Chris Ryan
Dr. Chris Ryan's Ted Talk
Dr. Chris Ryan's Podcast, Tangentially Speaking

Articles of Faith 10: S. Matthew Stearmer – A Reflection on the Cultural Construction of Sexual “Needs”  

Matt Stearmer is a Ph.D. Candidate of Sociology at The Ohio State University. His academic interests include social movements, gender, networks, public health and religion. His work has appeared in the Journal of Peace Research, and in a book titled Sex and World Peace. He currently serves as the first councilor in the Young Men's Presidency. He and his partner Janille have four children ages 5-16. He is the author of an article entitled, A Reflection on the Cultural Construction of Sexual “Needs” in the journal SquareTwo found at Welcome S. Matthew Stearmer.

Questions addressed in the interview:

Your article is quite possibly one of the most potentially volatile mixes of topics; sex, and religion. Throw in politics and you will probably have a perfect recipe for social conflict cocktail. Let's try and ease into a bit by maybe first addressing why sex in a religious or faith based context is either difficult or even contentious at times?

In your article you open with, “Recently, the topic of male sexuality, responsibility and faithfulness came up in a discussion among several LDS friends and co-workers.” First of all, I am glad to hear that even after this conversation you are still referring to them as friends and co-workers, not enemies....if one were to be a the proverbial fly on the wall in that discussion what would we have heard? What were some of the opinions that were injected in that conversation?

Is there a doctrine on this subject of marital intimacy? Responsibility of sex in the marriage? Your article asserts the following: “The central aim of the doctrine of the Restored Gospel is unity. Anything that divides us and creates hierarchy, especially between spouses, must be renounced for the evil it is.”

Your article presents another good quote, “The goal from a gospel perspective is not more sex, but more unity. Intimate sexual relationships between a husband and wife may be one means of getting there, but it is not the locus of the unified relationship.” The article makes the assumption, and there are probably statistics to make this a well founded assumption, that men see sex as a need, and women see responsibility as filling that need, as something to give up to their husbands. This paradigm, according to your article, leads to disunity. The next assumption, and maybe I am reading this wrong, is that this condition is far more universal than many may notice, even in temple sealed LDS marriages.

You give one such example of a couple who came to you for some counseling on the matter. Could you share that example?

There are three points that you feel is critical to having a healthy relationship, but one that actually falls in line with doctrinal precepts. Let's go through those three:

- The first, sex is not intimacy.

- Second, even in marriage, sex does not necessarily lead to unity.

- Third, a focus on who “needed” what, and who did or did not get what they felt they “needed” from their spouse sexually, would have been an unnecessary, confusing, and further damaging approach to the problem being faced.

When one ventures into calling sex a spiritual or sacred thing, that can sometimes be a bit off putting, maybe even a mischaracterization. Here again, you face the idea head on with the article by making an assertion that placing sex as a “need” in a marriage is spiritually damning. How are these things connected?

This is even tied further to the idea that people who have committed sexual sins, either in or out of marriage covenants, seek to establish an excuse for their actions because sex was a need that was not being met.

This same idea is actually tied back to the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood. How is that?

S. Matthew Stearmer is author of the article A Reflection on the Cultural Construction of Sexual “Needs” in the journal SquareTwo found at Thank you for coming on.

Sex Toy Testers Tell All!  

This week’s Podcast is chock full of sexual information, all aimed to improve your sex life and make you feel good! Emily’s special guest, Coyote the woman BEHIND the sex toys, and is head of purchasing for, which pretty much makes her the expert! In this episode, Coyote and Emily talk sex toys of all shapes and sizes! Want to know what toys are best for singles, couples, anal, g-spot, waterproof, etc? These ladies have the answers. Coyote uses her expert knowledge to guide newcomers through choosing their first sex toy. She and Emily give advice for a married listener who wants to introduce sex toys into the bedroom, and delve into the wonderful world of lube! Emily shares a story of her deep personal connection to Good Vibrations and Coyote tells us about her experiences in the ever-changing sex toy industry, including how she got started, what it’s like to shop sex toys for a living, and how her job has positively affected her own sex life. Emily also has special guests Ken and Helle from Baci on the show to talk about their new line of sexy lingerie and hosiery, and the awesome summer selfie contest coming up! Want to feel sexy AND have the chance to win $500 worth of Baci clothes? Ken and Helle tell you how! The gang talks new things coming out for GoodVibes, including some technologically advanced sex toys that make intimacy possible over long distances (or as Anderson puts it, making it harder and harder to rationalize cheating). This Podcast is all about the positive side of sex, why people should never stop the SEXplorations, and always have fun with it! All this & more in this week’s show!  

SWE: Spice Up Your Sex Life  

Signs you need to spice up your sex life: Your idea of a great night is watching TV and then doing it in missionary position, you haven’t had oral sex since your birthday, you don’t remember the last time you had sex, and you’re pretty sure the best sex of your life happened a long, long time ago. Well, don't despair, sex can get better over time. You can reignite the spark in your relationship if you’re proactive about your sex life. Your relationship isn’t going to magically transform overnight. You’re not going to suddenly do it in a public restroom (unless you schedule it on your Google Calendar.) Emily tells you everything you need to do to have more exciting sex, more often. Get a box delivered every month from Spicy Subscriptions with fun sex toys and goodies to spice up your sex life. Or go skydiving with your partner to get your adrenaline up. Okay maybe you don't have to jump out of a plane, but at least go to the gym with your partner. Emily also shares the best sex position for the female orgasm. Hint: She's not going to be suspended in the air in a pretzel. Plus, what can men do to prevent premature ejaculation? No guy wants to be compared to Anthony Weiner right now. If you want to reignite the spark in your relationship, use coupon code "Emily" at checkout to receive a Free Deluxe Toy and 5% off your order at Spicy Subscriptions. Try out a 4 or 8 month subscription, which I highly recommend, you’ll get a Free Deluxe Toy + your first Spice Box for free. Spicy Subscriptions will make reigniting the spark in your relationship so much easier.

SWE: Sex Drive  

Emily's back in sex school getting her doctorate, learning about gigantic sex machines and how the penis evolved. After school gets out, Emily goes on the Jeff Probst show to give sex advice and answer some hard questions from the audience. One lady wants to know what do you do when your guy won't go down on you. Several husbands want to know how to get their wives to have sex with them. If your not getting any with your significant other, it might be time to play Emily's Sex Drive, her new iPhone application for couples. Emily will send you an envelope everyday with a sexual assignment (she's not the only one getting schooled in sex). Emily and Menace take the Sex Drive pledge and pretend to fulfill their sexual tasks, from going to a sex shop to dirty talk. Emily gives advice for how to mixup your sex life whether you like good ol' fashion vanilla sex or something a bit spicier.

Energy Sex and How To Build Your Sexual Energy with Susan Bratton  

How does sexual energy relate to your energy levels?

Tune in this week,  as I have an out of the ordinary podcast with the remarkable sexpert Susan Bratton who is a trusted hot sex advisor to millions of people all over the world. She’s sort of like the Dear Abby of sex. Her knowledge is extensive, and I promise you that you will be blown away with her take on energy sex and how you can use this to improve your love life and your energy levels.

This is not something we’ve delved into before, and I think you’re going to love what we have in store for you today.

We are going to get into the six essentials of energy sex. I think as you get into this you’ll see the relevance of all these concepts that we’re going to talk about to fatigue and to energy enhancement more broadly, outside of sex, but this is a really key piece of the puzzle when it comes to your overall energy levels.

This is outside of my typical conversations that I have, which generally involve geeking out on science. Nutrition and lifestyle and circadian rhythm and all that kind of stuff.

In this podcast we will cover:

What energy sex is. The 6 essentials of energy sex How porn and masturbation influence your sex life How you can use sexual healing to overcome past trauma What ejaculatory control is and how that can impact your energy levels

Warning this podcast will cover some topics that are rated R at times. If you are uncomfortable discussing things related to sex, I would advise you not to listen to this podcast. 

Making Sex Work Safer: Daisy Nakato and Catherine Healy  

Two women whose aim is to make sex work safer in Uganda and New Zealand join Kim Chakanetsa to exchange experiences. Daisy Nakato is the founder of WONETHA, a sex workers' rights and support organisation in Kampala, Uganda. She says she chose to go into sex work at 17, but did face many challenges including violence from clients and running from the police. She is now building a better relationship with the police, which she hopes will lead to a reduction in violence against sex workers, but for her decriminalisation is the ultimate goal. Daisy is also HIV positive, and her project encourages sex workers to get tested and then supports them in controlling the spread of the disease. New Zealander Catherine Healy went from teaching in a school to sex work in a massage parlour in her thirties. She says this was an empowering choice for her, but she was appalled at the lack of any protections for her profession, which was then illegal. So she formed the New Zealand Prostitutes Collective and led a long campaign to decriminalise all forms of sex work. This law was passed in 2003 and gives full employment rights to sex workers, and Catherine says the police are now partners in keeping sex workers safe.

Coverville  1113: A Sex Pistols Cover Story, plus some other classic punk ballads, covered!  

In honor of John Lydon’s (aka Johnny Rotten) 60th birthday, we’ll have a couple sets of Sex Pistols covers. But if that’s not enough punk for you (and it SHOULDN’T BE), we’ll have covers of some other classic punk bands, and your requests! (86 minutes)

Download Episode

Featuring Title Artist Length Album Original Artist Versions Anarchy in the U.K. St.Petersburg Ska Jazz Review 3:00 St. Petersburg Ska Jazz Review Sex Pistols 8 Submission Eva Destruction & Her Big Band 4:43 Sing Along With Eva Sex Pistols 2 Holidays in the Sun Convoi! 2:37 Husband Huntin' [Explicit] Sex Pistols Pretty Vacant The Nutley Brass 2:30 Beat On The Brass Sex Pistols 7 E.M.I. Hotrats 3:24
Casual Sex, Condoms and Communication  

September at Sex With Emily is all about getting back to sex basics and on today’s show, Emily is giving a lesson on the most essential principle of sex, love and dating: communication! Are you trying to find the perfect way to express your sexual needs and desires to a partner? Are you struggling to be the lover you know you can be? From sexual stamina to FWB’s to an unfulfilled craving for rough lovin’, all roads lead to better sexual communication and Emily has tips to guide the way.   This episode also gets in depth on another significant Sex Ed basic: condoms! We’re all aware of the importance of contraceptives, but so many of us buy, store, and use them incorrectly. Luckily, Emily is here to steer us in the right prophylactic direction with comprehensive tips for condom use. Today’s show is a must-listen for those looking to step up their satisfaction in the sex department. Whether you’re looking for more sex, longer-lasting sex, rough sex or casual sex, Emily gives guidance on how to talk about (and get) what you want in the bedroom. Don’t miss it!

A Great Valentine's Day Gift!  

What better gift on Valentine's Day then the gift of great sex? Get 50% off the Best Sex Life Now video series between now and Valentine's Day when given as a gift. Grab this offer at

By xxxchurch

Tags : best sex, best sex ever, great sex, sex life,

Sex Appeal: Why You Need It & How To Get It, With Robin Antin  

Today’s show is all about sexual confidence: How do you get it, how do you work it, and how do you become a star in the bedroom? Emily is joined in the studio by Robin Antin to talk dancing and sex appeal, two things she knows all about! So what IS sexy? Emily and Robin share their personal secrets to sexiness, and tell us how to discover our inner sex appeal! Emily gets to know her guest, the founder of the “Pussycat Dolls”, choreographer, producer, director, designer, entrepreneur and all-around sex-positive bombshell, Robin Antin. The two dish about all things sexy, and discuss the number one thing killing women’s sex lives: your lack of sexual confidence. The ladies explain why having sex is a lot like performing - as soon as you hit that stage (aka the bedroom) you must push past your insecurities and work what you’ve got!   This show teaches you how to achieve ultimate sexiness, from fitness to style to the best sex toys on the market! It also answers some sexier questions: How does one do a sexy squat? Is there a Pussycat Sex-Doll in our future? And can Emily turn Robin into a sex toy believer?All this and more in the latest Sex With Emily podcast!

SWE: The Best Sex Toys for Men and Women.  

I'm talking about my favorite topic- masturbation and the best sex toys for men and women. In a word filled with crazy, awesome, vibrating sex toys, it can be hard to choose a sex toy. Are you a clitoral stimulation kind of a girl or a G-spot gal? Are you a size queen or are you looking for something cute and discreet? Do you want a couples toy or do you want it all to yourself? Of course, sex toys aren't just for the girls (check out the Fleshlight guys at!). My guest, Sex Toy Expert Anne Hodder, and I discuss some surprising ways men enjoy the vibrations too, and how they can use sex toys on their partner. My guest Anne Hodder and I have tried and reviewed hundreds of sex toys so we can tell you the best sex toys for your preferences and needs. Your welcome. I do it all for you... and the orgasms.    You can get almost all the vibrators we discuss on the show at  Anne and I agree that one of the best vibrators for couple play and solo play is the Je Joue MiMi, and the best sex toy for men is the Fleshlight. If you're looking for great G-spot action or anal play, NJoy is simply the best. Get them all at and 

SWE:Get your Sex Life Back with Guest Susan Pinsky  

Tonight’s special guest is Susan Pinsky, the First Lady of Loveline, and host of the new podcast Calling out with Susan Pinsky. Susan gets intimate about her sex life with her husband, Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of the Loveline, Celebrity Rehab, and Dr.Drew on Call. Although they have an amazing sex life now, it wasn’t always that way. After having triplets(!), Susan completely lost her sex drive. Her hormone levels plummeted after giving birth and she couldn’t figure out how to reinvigorate her sex life. Her problems were exacerbated with the onset of early menopause. Susan shares her journey to reclaim her sex drive through bioidentical hormones. Finally she found the solution that worked for her and shares how she got her sex drive back right when they received the devastating news of Dr. Drew’s prostate cancer diagnosis. We even talk to Susan’s doctor, Dr. Jennifer Park in Pasadena who specializes in hormone pellet therapy. Mismatched libidos is one of the most common problems in relationships. One partner is enthusiastic about being sexually intimate while the other is subdued. And this takes a toll on the relationship. 48% of people say they are satisfied with their sex life. That’s not enough people. There are many reasons why people’s libido change over the years: Stress Depression Age Lifestyle choices, including: alcohol, drugs, sleep, diet Medication, including antidepressants Lack of sexual enjoyment during sex And of course, kids. You’re bound to fall into one of these categories at some point in your life. Susan and I discuss what you can do if your partner wants more or less sex than you. We end the show with a special call from Susan’s psychic Rebecca Fearing. She gives me an amazing psychic reading on my love life and things to come in the future. Use Coupon Code EMILY for 20% off at Emily & Tony, coupon code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations (some exclusions apply), and coupon code Emily25 for 35% off at Crazy Girl. Check out Promescent for lasting longer in bed. 

SWE: Morning Sex  

A podcast on morning sex, afternoon sex, shower sex, sex with virgins, bed breaking sex, sex on private jets and sex that makes you faint. Also, what you can tell about your partner from their friends.Sex with Emily is a free podcast. I no longer have the paid Friends with Benefits program because I want everyone to enjoy Sex with Emily.Please support our sponsors: Max4Men, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Max4Men. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations.

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