Are you hard on yourself, especially when it comes to your appearance? Do you do something, and then immediately wish you had done it differently? Many of us allow our inner critics to expend energy on low-frequency, physically exhausting, nasty, self-defeating self-talk. You may not realize it, but your self-talk influences the way other people receive you. If you are happy and filled with self-acceptance, you send out a good vibe. If you are negative or hard on yourself, you can suck the life right out of the room.
Today’s caller, Gabby, is struggling with her weight and self-worth. She is clinging to the away-from-motivation of ‘if only I this,’ and ‘if only I that,’ instead of using toward-motivation, to get what she really wants.
During the call, Gabby’s energy shifts as soon as we discuss creativity and connection. This toward-motivation practice allows her to focus her energy on what she wants to bring into her life, instead of what she wants to move away from. This practice is sustainable, because she is focusing her energy on a positive outcome instead of a negative one.
Obsessing about appearance and weight is a waste of energy. If weight is something you struggle with read my book, Expectation Hangover, and:
● Find a new way to soothe yourself.
● Get a new way to feed your soul.
● Commit and take actions towards your commitments.
● Stop making your weight mean something negative about you.
You are enough. You are lovable. You can change and heal anything in your life.
● Are you making your self-worth and acceptance conditional?
● Do you struggle with body image issues? Has losing weight been a constant theme in your life?
● Does fear of rejection haunt you? Does it keep you from taking risks?
● What are the sneaky ways you're being selfish in your life?
Gabby has felt rejected a lot lately and would like to know how she can not worry so much about what others think.
Gabby's Key Insights and Aha’s:
● She feels undesirable and fears she is not good enough.
● She has body image issues.
● Food is her only source of pleasure.
● She is self-obsessed.
● She is jeopardizing her relationships by making everything about her.
● She may be attracting rejection into her life when she does, because of her self-rejection.
● She hasn’t asked God to love and support her in dealing with her issue.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
● She should stop waiting for external validation to find her confidence.
● She should realize she is not alone in how she feels.
● She should create a joy and creativity plan for herself.
● She should be present, curious, and connected in an authentic way.
● She could ask God for assistance in letting go of her obsession with her weight.
Assignments and Takeaways:
● If there is something you want to shift in your life, make a list of your ‘toward’ motivations.
● Make a list of what you are committed to, and get an accountability partner.
● Take on a role to shift your confidence, and change the way you see yourself.
● Pray for help with your growth. Ask for help in making the shifts in knowing who you truly are.
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Over It and On With It Initial Podcast
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler