Episodes
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The meltdown out of nowhere, an angry and aggressive child, the emotionally flooded teen - kids of all ages have BIG emotions, and experience emotional dysregulation!
Discover the tools and skills that will help you respond to your child with compassion and kindness - and build emotional awareness and regulation for you both.
(R) This episode originally aired 17/10/23.
Topics in this episode:
No Matter What Emotion regulation The magic of Nature Moving forward, finding solutions Responding with compassion and gentleness Emotion Coaching- a Happy Families article Little People, Big Feelings - a Happy Families webinar The Secret to Regulating Emotions - a Happy Families articleFind us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families
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Marriage is not just about the "happily ever after", but rather the real-world benefits of a life of meaning, joy, purpose, and growth. Keep your relationship strong by avoiding 5 things that harm marriage the most.
[R] This episode originally aired on 7/3/24.
In this episode:
Damaging mindsets Commitment, trust, connection Intention vs action Divorce contagion Provocative statistics Get Married by Brad Wilcox Positive outcomes for children Household work, mental loadFind us on Facebook or TikTok
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Missing episodes?
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*Content warning: parental discretion advised*
Australia's e-Safety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant describes the fast-paced and aggressive tactics used by sexual extortionists targeting children and young adults. She gives clear directives to parents on how to prevent online harm, and what to do if your child experiences sexual extortion.
[R] This episode originally aired on 27/2/24.
In this episode:
Online sexual extortionists targeting kids Screen rules, limits, safety measures, and supervision Honey trap tactics Fast-paced escalation from charm to harm What to do if this happens to your child Keeping your child safe online How to report abuse or content to eSafety | eSafety Commissioner Parents | eSafety Commissioner Sextortion | ACCCE The Teenage Brain â Happy Families Screens in Bedrooms? â Happy FamiliesFind us on Facebook or TikTok
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*Content warning: parental discretion advised*
In a brave and vulnerable conversation, Jake and his mother Hayley talk about their 'honey trap' experience when Jake was 15, sharing just how quickly and easily this can happen to a child or adolescent.
(R) This episode originally aired 26/2/24.
In this episode:
Honey traps and online safety Real-life experience of a 15-year-old boy Advice from Hayley and Jake "No Matter What"Related links:
Capping: How the Bad Guys Get to Your Kids Online#837 Must-Know Online Safety With Madonna King
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When your child wants to quit an activity, especially one theyâre good at, it can be challenging to know the right thing to do! Should you encourage them to push through, knowing the long-term benefits, or let them move on to something new?
And then there's self-careâhow do we even fit it into our hectic, overwhelming lives? It's so easy to let it fall by the wayside, especially for busy parents. But self-care can be more achievable than you think, with little things we can do on a daily basis that provide a moment to breathe and rejuvenateâwithout breaking the bank or needing more hours in the day.
In this episode:
When an adult child moves back home - how does it work? Change brings anxietyResilience [Webinar]
The Secret to Regulating Emotions (train analogy)
What should you do when a child wants to quit an activity?
Overwhelm and burn-outPippin Girl | Happy, healthy, confident girls
Self-care
Related links:
Self Care Strategies That Really Work
Overwhelm: Self-care Strategies for When Everything is Too Much [Webinar]#637 Lightening the Load of Parental Burnout
Burnt Out [Free Webinar]
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A lot of families love to "roast" or tease one another as a means of good-natured camaraderie. When done well (in the right circumstances, the right tone, and for the right reasons), this kind of humour can increase connection. However, when done wrong, it can be disastrous, particularly when children are involved, as they may not understand nuance and sarcasm and tend to internalise this style of humour.
Justin and Kylie discuss the role of humour within families, the importance of empathy, and an alternative to roasting and sarcasm that can lead to happier, healthier family relationships.
In this episode:
ChatGPT âroast my Insta feedâHumour - the good, the bad, the ugly
The roast of Tom Brady
Sarcasm, trash-talking, 'burning', baiting
Verbal sparring, quick thinking, witty banter 3 benefits of "roasting" within a family Building resilience, connection, confidence 3 challenges and concerns of using this humour Building a culture of disrespect The art of laughing at your own mistakes EmpathyRelated links:
#1067 - A Brief History of Dad Jokes
#1077 - From the Doctor's Desk: Funny Families & Relocation Repercussions
Help your kids navigate the tricky online world where humour and hurt can get blurred
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Would you let your 9-year-old ride the NY subway alone or your 15-year-old son travel abroad with friends? For doing just that, one mother received the label of "world's worst mum," and another was reported to social services!
In today's risk-averse society, our children lack adventure. We want resilient children, and yet we try to control them in the name of safety, preventing them from being too adventurous. The problem is that if our kids don't do hard things, they don't get to be resilient.
Justin and Kylie share why playing it safe may just be the biggest risk of all!
Kirstie Allsopp reported to social services for allowing son,15, to travel abroad | The Guardian Free range kids What if...?Resilience malaise
I let my 9-year-old ride the subway alone. I got labeled the 'world's worst mum' | Lenore Skenazy | Washington Post
Developmentally appropriate independence Finding purpose and direction through adventure and risk-taking The Least Interesting Generation | Brett McKay | The Art of Manliness Resilience.
Related links:
The Case for Risky Play in an Age of Overprotection 9 Ways to a Resilient Child [Book] #906 Raising Free Range Kids This Summer.
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An anonymous listener shares their frustration and exhaustion with a husband who feels more like an additional child than a partner, offering little support with household and family responsibilities. Justin unpacks "weaponised incompetence" and the unfairness and resentment that build when one parent is left carrying the load and provides guidance on how to address the issue in a way that avoids blame, accusations, and an all-out conflict.
Michelle, from Victoria, has a daughter experiencing mental illness, with chronic insomnia, anxiety, and friendship issuesâall leading to a feeling of exhaustion and desperation in the home. Justin shares some ideas with Michelle that will help her struggling daughter, emphasising the importance of finding what ignites delight in your childâand giving them more of it!
In this episode:
Weaponised incompetence When one parent feels overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful Be honest (without accusations or blame) Setting clear expectations and solutions NDIS Couples meeting Getting on the same page Enabling laziness Autism, ADHD, chronic insomnia, anxiety Importance of sleep and bedtime routine Extra-curricular activities Validating emotions 3 basic psychological needs: autonomy, competence, connection.
Related links:
#452 Weaponised Incompetence Parenting On The Same Page [Webinar] We Need to Talk About Parent Wellbeing A Grown Upâs Guide to Worry Stacking (and how to help kids kick it!) [Download] Riding the Waves: Tools for Taming Anxiety [course for kids and teens] #310 Bedtime is the Right Time #990 Mental Health Challenges with Anne Hollonds.
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In Australia, children below a certain age will be banned from social media as part of a national plan to counter its negative effects on youth. We discuss the government's commitments, the challenges this new legislation may face, and what parents can do now to protect their kids in a screen-saturated world.
In this episode:
'National Social Media Age Limit' | A Current Affair Why 13+ is the current legal age Collecting personal data Politics and obstacles facing this legislation The impact of social media on kids Using screens well: with intentionality, self-regulation, limits Play-based childhood VS screen-based childhood Holding tech companies accountable What parents can do while waiting for legislation to pass Kids need smart parents not smartphones Building community Unplug Childhood - sign the pledge & join the village today! The Screen Smart Series: 'Unplug Childhood' & 'Tweens, Teens & Screens' (included in membership).
Related links:
#980 The Anxious Generation With Jonathan Haidt Tech Giants are Anti-Kids.
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Justin shares his disappointment in unwittingly missing out on the opportunity to share meaningful, heartfelt words with the people he loves after choosing to clean the kitchen during an extended family get-together rather than participating in a family activity.
We all have a need to belong. You can help your child to have a sense of who they are and how they belong by creating family traditions and sharing family stories with them. Kylie shares how she included son-in-law Jared in one of their traditions by writing him into their family 'birth" story.
In this episode:
Missed opportunity Getting priorities right "If tomorrow never comes..." Ronan Keating Why vulnerability is hard! Using technology to check in with people we love Coulson daughter #2 has returned from Europe The need to belong Family traditions and stories Adoption Knowing family roots- -> increased resilience Teaching kids about positive relationships.
Related links:
How well do you score in Prof. Duke's 'Do You Know' scale?
Family Traditions Help Kids Make Sense of Life #589 Mental Fitness With Gus Worland.
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A recent study has shown that parents who use humour have better relationships with their kids. But does all humour work in the same way? Are Dad jokes ok? Can sarcasm or roasting your child play a a positive role in parenting? And what are the consequences for our children when humour goes wrong?
In a large-scale Denmark study, data from 1.1 million people has shown associations between moving house in childhood and increased risk of depression later in life. We look at ways that parents can support their child during big transitions and soften the impact of the uprooting experience of moving house.
In this episode:
Humour in parenting: Does it have a role? | PLOS One Defining humour The consequences when humour goes wrong Funny = reciprocal/consensual The effects of house moves during early childhood on child mental health at age 9âyears | Springer Link Bluey 'The Sign' Resilience Parental guilt regarding moving Association versus causation Smoothing transitions for your childRelated links:
#732 This is How You Raise Resilient Kids Parenting Made Easy(er) Moving? How to Help your Child Settle Into A New School.
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Have you ever wondered if becoming a foster carer is something you could do?
Our guest today, Belinda Baxter, has 13 children (6 biological, 7 foster) and joins us for an important conversation about foster care: what it looks like for her family, the challenges and the rewards, and what you can do to get the process started.
This week, communities across Australia come together to celebrate Foster Care Week, an annual event dedicated to recognising the invaluable contributions of foster and kinship carers.
In this episode:
Foster Care Week Types of foster care (full-time, kinship, respite, emergency) Family dynamics Boundaries and foundations Independent living skills The process of becoming a carer Challenges and difficulties of caring for other people's childrenRelated links:
Fostering Connections (Victoria) DCJ Foster, relative and kinship care (NSW) Queensland Foster and Kinship Care Become a foster carer (SA) Become a foster carer (WA) Foster and Kinship Carers Association (NT) Foster care - Department for Education, Children and Young People (TAS).
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This episode originally appeared as episode #1013.
When we make feelings âKingâ, our children can become stuck in their emotion, unable to regulate or move forward. Justin shares the right way to respond to feelings, helping them understand, process, and then move through their emotional state.
In this episode:
Revolutionary change in how parents respond to emotions Impact of TikTok parenting influencers Validating emotions Feeling seen, heard, valued Ways to regulate and tame emotions Parent or therapist? #822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 1 #827 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers - Part 2 #976 Abigail Shrier's Bad Therapy How to help your child process their emotion and move on from it.
Related links:
The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents, by Lisa Damour The Secret to Regulating Emotions Emotion Coaching [Webinar] Little People, Big Feelings [The Summit].
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Dr Hannah Brown, Campaign Manager for Education and Young People for RU OK?, is working to decrease the stigma of mental health and to provide Australians with the skills and confidence to check in with one another EVERY day, and not just RU OK? day.
Hannah shares advice for parents who may be dealing with a child who is not okâhow to have this conversation with them and support them through their struggles.
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In this episode:
What to do when someone struggling says "I'm fine!" It's not our job to fix, but to notice, listen, and support Parent-to-child conversations Child-to-child conversations ALEC - Ask, Listen, Encourage Action, Check-in Teaching kids to be kind and respectful to their friends/classmates Building skills for strong and trusting relationships If you are not OK, please reach out for help:Kids Help Line 1800 55 1800
Parent Line (different number for each state)
Lifeline 13 11 14
13YARN (for First Nations Australians) 13 92 76
Related links:
#589 Mental Fitness With Gus Worland R U OK Day â Talking About It and What Happens When They Say âNoâ.
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'I'll Do Better Tomorrow' is a review of the week that was.
With more work-related travel than ever before, Justin still managed to make it home for Father's Dayâhis best one yet with a peak "life moment" involving son-in-law Jared! Listen in to hear how their relationship has moved from reluctant acceptance to that of deep friendship because of a conscious decision to love unconditionally.
Plus, some sobering facts from Lifeline's Annual Gala Ball: Over a million calls are made to Lifeline every single year. 3000 phone calls per day, which means that somebody is in crisis every 28 seconds! Thank you to all of Lifeline's volunteers, sponsors, workforce, and other contributors. We recognise the importance of this service and are so very grateful for the wonderful work you do.
In this episode:
Lifeline's Annual Gala Ball Father's Day Low expectations, no pressure, time with family Being a grandparent on Father's Day Reaping what you sow Unconditional love Lifeline: Help is available. Speak with someone today! Call 13 11 14Related links:
Fatherhood Redefined [Webinar] Use coupon code "Spring15" to receive $15 discount! Sale ends tonight. Present Dads, Healthy Kids #890 How You Know Youâre LovedDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Journalist Angela Mollard writes that "[a]n age of confession and vulnerability has seen parenting rebranded as a challenging, joyless, expensive, and freedom-sapping decision. They forgot the awesome bits."
On the podcast today, Angela chats with Justing about finding the joy in parenting, the importance of perspective and gratitude, and why we must speak of the great parts of parenthoodâbecause although parenting is hard, it's absolutely worth it!
In this episode:
The vulnerabilities VS the joys of parenting Parenting needs a PR job? Blame the mummy bloggers | Angela Mollard | The Daily Telegraph Finding fulfilment in parenting Generational differences Gratitude Look for the 'glimmers' every day #148 Flecks of Gold Perspective Being present What Your Child Needs From You by Dr Justin Coulson (use coupon code SPRING15 for a sneaky discount! Ends 6/5/24)Related links:
Parenting Made Easy(er) Unplugging Parenthood (and being present!)Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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It's National Child Protection Week!
Today's conversation is with author, publisher, mother, and educator Janeen Sanders, a strong public advocate for childrenâs safety, education, and empowerment.
Jayneen joins Dr Justin to speak on the importance of teaching consent and body safety to children of all ages and how parents can do this in age-appropriate ways. This is an essential skill for every parent: to keep our children safe from sexual abuse and sexual predators.
In this episode:
Statistics The younger a child, the more vulnerable and at-risk they are Online grooming #926 Who Tops the List of Child Sexual Abusers? Using correct anatomical names Teaching body boundary and consent Grandparents and hugging Creating a safety network for your child.
Jayneen Sander's resources:
Body Safety Red Flags by Jayneen Sanders My Body! What I Say Goes! by Jayneen Sanders Body Safety and Consent VALUE BUNDLE by Jayneen Sanders My Body Safety Rules - FREE POSTER Head to the Educate 2 Empower website for more books, lesson plans, posters, and other resources for parents and teachers..
Related links:
Sex, Consent, & Staying Safe [Webinar] #226 More Than Consent Education with Melinda Tankard ReistDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
NEW weekly kidsâ âPrint & Playâ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)
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Robert asks, What can you do when your teenager wonât go to school? Throw in the complexity of neurodivergence, and this becomes a tough situation!
Plus, a question from Sian about managing the inconsistency between a reward/token system at school and what is going on at home. Can two very different structures coexist and work for your child?
In this episode:
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Emotion-Based School Avoidance
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Persistent Desire for Autonomy
Conflict around gaming
Connection vs control Explore, explain, empower Emotional valence (the extent to which an emotion is pleasant or unpleasant, ranging from negative to positive) Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation Building structure in the homeRelated links:
School Refusal Screens And Our Boys Punishment, Reward, and Other Disciplinary Mistakes #720 What are the Psychological Needs of Our Kids?Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Is cleaning your teenage son's room every day reinforcing outdated gender roles and enabling a future of entitlement? Or is it an act of love, showing care and understanding for a busy, tired teenager?
No matter where you stand, Justin and Kylie delve into what truly matters in a thoughtful discussion about kids, chores, and their role in contributing to the household.
In this episode:
Mom tidies teen's room each morning as a kind act of service, prompting a fascinating debate | Upworthy Social media - the good, the bad, the ugly Gratitude Chores, schedules, jobs Gendered expectations? Division of labour, working together Explore, explain, empowerRelated links:
I am Not the Maid â How to get 5 Star Service from the Kids at Home My 13-Year-Old Doesnât Pick up a Single Thing Developmental Milestones [Introduction]Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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Got a tech-savvy teen who dodges screen-time limits or constantly craves social media validation? Justin and Kylie share how their weekly family meetings provide time and space for ongoing conversations about screen use, leading to personal accountability and self-evaluation, with increased buy-in from the whole family!
In this episode:
'Word of the year' review Why Grandparents matter Developmental paediatricians Family meetings Screen use Sneaky teens - getting around screen-time limits Toxic need for validation on social media Force creates resistance Motivation contiuum PhubbingRelated Links:
#845 Phones, Phubbing & Relationship Satisfaction Register for The Screen Smart Series - 'Unplug Childhood' and 'Tweens, Teens & Screens' #1049 Q&A â The Benefits of Plants & Grandparents Learn more about the motivation continuum in our webinar Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do InsteadDoors are now open to the Happy Families Membership
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