Episodes
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HBO's Max's DC's The Penguin: A The Batman Story just wrapped up its first season and, boy howdy, was it some bonafide QHE! We sample some of Schell's Peanut Butter Chocolate Porter and talk about why the Penguin cuts through the fog of big-budget, shared-universe, comic book television series. Don't worry, we sound the Gremlins alarm before we reveal any spoilers. And Logan does some voices.
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A Halloween episode released two weeks after Halloween? Yeah, that sounds like us. We watched, 'Salem's Lot, the newest Stephen King adaptation that was unceremoniously released on Max after sitting on the shelf for two years! We dig into King's take on vampires and what successful King adaptations have in common. We also dig into producer James Wan's filmography, sample Leinenkugel's Northwoods Amber, and ask, "what if Jaws was a Hallmark movie?"
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Missing episodes?
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To bring the holiday of Sharktoberfest to a close, Dustin and Logan are taking it upon themselves to rank every shark movie they have watched for this podcast. It's a tall order, especially since they both have bad memories and seem to be bad at counting. But they do it, gosh darn it! Join them for one final dip into shark infested waters to determine what are the quintessential films of Sharktoberfest!
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We're wrapping up Sharktoberfest with the appropriately titled, the Last Shark. And it's an interesting experience because we've basically already seen it, since Cruel Jaws repurposes a lot of Last Shark's plot and actual footage! It's one of the more fascinating case studies we've covered in shark cinema. We also sample the Oktoberfest from Limestone Brewers and dip into a perennial favorite brew!
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Finally a film that answers the question, "what if the Hallmark Channel made a shark movie?" We watched Shark Warning!, an oddly serious Asylum production that has shark revenge, an evil mayor, AND an exclamation point in the title. We also re-envision the movie with our dream cast of actors that we believe the Asylum could get and sample the Oktoberfest from Lakefront Brewery.
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Got a little bit of everything going on in this installment of Sharktoberfest. Dustin and Logan are reaching back into the digital video days of early aughts with the indie hit, Open Water, a film that is more mumblecore than survival thriller. They also sample (and spill) the Oktoberfest from Sixpoint Brewery while Dustin tries his best to conjure up some fest facts. Then, they finish out the show with an extended chat about some of the other things they're been watching to get into the Halloween spirit!
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A group of friends explore a sunken World War II battleship and get trapped inside with a shark in 2024's the Last Breath. Are these friends the absolute worst? Oh yeah. Is the shark a mindless killing machine? You betcha. Is the movie a waste of Dustin and Logan's time? Absolutely. Listen to them crap all over it while they sample the Oktober Fest-Marzen from Ayinger Privatbrauerei.
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Against all odds, it's back. That season of German-style beers and horrible shark movies. It's...SHARKTOBERFEST!!!
Somehow Logan and Dustin have found their way back to the beginning and must endure another festive fish fiasco! For this first episode, they tackle Cruel Jaws, a movie that rips off the Jaws franchise so hard that it actually includes unauthorized footage from all four Jaws films and tried to be released under the title "Jaws 5". Paired with this cinematic heist, is Big Grove Brewery's Oktoberfest Marzen-Style Lager. Let kick things off right!
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We're wrapping up the summer with what will most-likely be the year's biggest hit in Deadpool & Wolverine! The now highest grossing rated-R film of all time is the latest attempt to make the Marvel multiverse fun. Did it succeed? Did it make us laugh? Were there children at our screening that were way too young to be there? Well, you'll just have to hang out with us for our freewheeling chat about this movie starring some guys in colorful suits. We also have a little bonus chat about Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.
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Killer monkey + Dungeons and Dragons + Blue Lagoon - Brooke Shields = Shakma!
Christopher Atkins and Roddy McDowell face off with an evil baboon in Shakma, the 1990 horror film about med students getting picked off one-by-one whilst playing the worst role playing game of all time. Luckily, we're here to sip on some banana beer and guide you through a confusing night locked in with some truly off-putting characters.
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Seth Green, Carlton, and a Bosom Buddy go out to the woods and square off with genetically altered super bugs AND evil hillbilly marijuana farmers. Also, Clint Howard is there. That's the plot to Ticks, the 1993 straight-to-video creature feature that we decided to watch for some reason. We break the whole thing down while sipping on some Peach Wheat from Boulevard Brewing Co., and have a spoiler-free chat about the Fall of the House of Usher.
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The Hallmark Channel is having its annual Christmas in July celebration where they premiere brand new holiday movies right in the middle of the summer, so we watched the world premiere of A Very Vermont Christmas! This one checks a few boxes for us; it's full of Hallmark tropes, no one can speak clearly, and it takes place in a brewery! It's like it was made for us! Join us for a somewhat freeform chat about this piece of festive fluff and stay to the end for our new game in which we turn Hallmark movies into Lifetime movies. Happy Holidays!
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Oh what a wicked web we weave as continue breaking down the confusing slice of comic book pie that is Madame Web. We discover how our "hero" will avenge Mike Epps and explain kidnapping these three young women. We also discuss the best table dancing song of 2003 and talk a little bit about Heroes. Thankfully, we're still sipping on refreshing Pepsi Cola, the real hero of this film.
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Well, here we are digging into one of the biggest superhero flops and boy are our brains tired. We watched Marvel's Sony's Pepsi Cola's Madame Web, starring a bored Dakota Johnson, bad wigs, and worse ADR. Frankly, we have too much to say about it but luckily we have the refreshing taste of Pepsi and rum to keep us company. (It's the taste of a new generation, after all!) So come back with us to either 2003 or 1993 (we're not sure) as we work our way through a Spider-Man movie that's not about Spider-Man but is also definitely about Spider-Man but shouldn't be about Spider-Man.
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There's new shark movie heating up the charts on Netflix so you know we had to check it out! Plus, a bunch of people messaged us pretty much demanding it, so our hands were kind of tied. Under Paris is a new, French-produced shark movie that does what very few shark movies do: it actually looks and feels like a movie. It's also a shark movie with a negligent mayor so what's not to love?!
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Sooo...we saw a meme where someone mixed Guinness with Monster Energy Drink. We decided to not only try that, but paired it with a movie about an Irish monster. There never really was a plot to this show, but, oh boy, have we lost it now. We watched 1993's Leprechaun starring Warwick Davis and Jennifer Aniston and drank a hell potion created by the internet. Also, we talk about Statham again.
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Somehow it happened. Somehow, there's a shark on a dang plane. There's no Sam Jackson to save us so we'll have to count on Colm Meaney to get us out of this one, even though there's No Way Up. (That's the title of the movie we cover in this episode. You get it.) And with this new shark movie we sample a new shark beer in Exile Brewing's Shark Wrangler. We also chat about Fallout, Blackberry, Abigail, and the general greatness of Jason Statham, because why not?
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It's time to get punchy and talk about some meat slapping as Dustin and Logan dig into the 2024 remake of Road House. It's a reboot that takes the wildly simple story of the source material and decides to jazz it up with too many characters, bad pacing, and UFC fighter acting. At least the movie features one of Logan's good friends. The boys also have hot takes Barbie and Star Trek: Voyager, because this is a timely and relevant show.
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In anticipation of the Road House reboot starring Jake Gyllenhaal, we're watching the original Patrick Swayze punchfest and we want you to watch along with us! Grab a drink and enjoy this very sweaty film as we ponder what it means to be a famous bouncer, drool over Sam Elliott, and explore how the 80s liked to take very specific jobs and make them cool.
*to sync with the film, press play on this commentary when the United Artists logo fades completely to black*
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Well...we're finally wrapping up Sharktoberfest IV. This was the revenge of the old show and, boy, what a revenge it was. Took up three whole months! But anyway, we're putting it away with one last movie and putting away one last beer. And both are imports! (kind of). We watched the Chinese King Kong ripoff, Snow Monster (aka Snow Monster vs. Ice Shark) and drinking Yuengling's Oktoberfest (Yuengling isn't sold in Iowa so it's sort of an import). We also conclude this whole Sharktoberfest ordeal by deciding the best and worst of it all. There's also a little bit of shark research. And as always, we barely stay on topic. See you in 2024 for something a little more regular! (wink)
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