Episodes
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This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast special episode for 7/10/2020.
Editor-in-Chief Kyle Mann and Creative Director Ethan Nicolle are joined by The Babylon Bee Senior Writer Frank J. Fleming to talk about the week’s big stories. Frank has a new book Superego: Fathom which is a sequel to Superego. They talk about the week’s big stories like Kanye West declaring a run for the Presidency, how modern Americans are definitely morally superior to slaveowners from 200 years ago, and why a Russian grandmother was caught smearing poo on playground swings. They also talk about how the rich and the powerful can say whatever they want and then in the subscriber portion talk about all of Frank’s problematic writings.
Show Outline
Introduction
Kyle and Ethan come down from their high of celebrating freedom by almost blowing themselves up and letting their kids play with fire.
Weird News
Driver fights off snake with just a knife and seatbelt while speeding at 76mph
Germany goes nuts over sausage vending machines
Alligator with missing limbs shows up on Florida family's porch
Escaped pigs cause traffic chaos on Virginia highway
Cat falls asleep in washing machine and miraculously survives 12-minute cycle
Woman, 90, caught smearing 'poo' on children's swings in bizarre protest
Stomach-churning footage shows an elderly woman smearing what appears to human faeces on a children's swing she wants removed. Gavin Newsom could do this. Layering the skateparks with excrement.Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes Robot Jox.
Ethan likes The Napoleon of Notting Hill by Chesterton.
Frank likes Hamilton.
Stories of the Week
Story 1 - Kanye West Seizes Opportunity To Be Most Rational, Coherent Presidential Candidate
Summary: Noticing a lack of rational, coherent, sane presidential candidates, Kanye West announced this weekend that he will be running for president. The move surprised everyone who hasn't been paying attention to 2020 at all so far.
The real story: Kanye West actually announced his presidential run -- though it’s not clear if he can actually still run.
The Forbes interviewStory 2 - Nation That Kills 3,000 Babies A Day Feels Morally Superior To Slaveowners From 200 Years Ago
Summary: Leftists who support killing 3,000 babies a day were trying to virtue-signal but quickly ran into a problem: there's no one alive to whom they can feel morally superior. So, the movement was forced to look to people from 200 years ago to find someone they could somewhat credibly criticize for moral failings: slave owners
What is it about humanity that makes us think the sins of other ages are so much worse than the sins of our age? Most people go with the crowd, how do you know you would not? It is like Chesteron’s picture of the cad who climbs up to the top of a castle turret then kicks down all ladders that got him there. Real abolitionists who paid the price at the timeStory 3 - New App Reminds You To Look Up From Your Phone To Check If Your Kids Are Still Alive
Summary: The tech world is abuzz after the announcement of a new smartphone app that could save millions of lives. The new app, called Kid-Alyve, will remind parents to look up from their phones every so often to confirm that their children are still breathing.
-Parenting is crazy
Topic of the Week
Cancel Culture / Harper’s Letter
Hate Mail
LOVE MAIL
Subscriber Portion
Bonus Frank Stories And The Ten Questions
Story 1
Innovative New Process Turns Vegetables into Meat by Feeding Them to Cows
Story 2
Superman Criticized for Unrealistic Portrayal of Journalist as Heroic
Story 3
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This is the Babylon Bee Interview Show.
Editor-in-chief Kyle Man and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Drew Dyck about whether criminals are real, being saved from a life of stealing deodorant, and invading Canada. Drew is an acquisitions editor at Moody Publishers and a contributing editor at CTPastors.com, a Christianity Today publication for church leaders. He’s the author of Your Future Self Will Thank You: Secrets to Self-Control from the Bible and Brain Science, Yawning at Tigers: You Can’t Tame God, So Stop Trying, and Generation Ex-Christian: Why Young Adults Are Leaving the Church…and how to Bring Them Back.
Topics Discussed
Sending your book ideas to Drew Arguing with people on Twitter about abolishing the police and whether criminals are a thing Spicing up your testimony by stealing deodorant Milk in a bag The weirdest thing about Canada Portland is stuck in the 90s/Portlandia On the difference between a beat poet and a slam poet When bookstores were a thing Christian stores bestselling “Jesus junk” Where ANTIFA will set up their gulags God isn’t safe but he’s good, like Aslan Self-control in everything but buying Drew’s books Mental illness in the church Remembering the Emerging Church movement What’s better: fur babies or actual babies Writers retreats never help On not psychologizing your opponents The Ten QuestionsTo watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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Missing episodes?
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This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast special episode for 7/3/2020.
This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Bee listeners get 10% off!
In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the week’s big stories like a man being fined £450 for provocative intestinal wind, the fallen world we live in where The Princess Bride is possibly being remade, and how doctors are recommending we keep opening up and closing the economy until we all go insane. In the main topic, they read G.K. Chesterton's ideas on the suicide of thought.
In the subscriber portion, Kyle and Ethan dive in into the mail bag, talk about their years in ministry, and bring in producer Dan so that they all can answer the ten questions.
Show Outline
Introduction
Kyle and Ethan return from the warm, sunny beaches of Florida to churn out another podcast. We have an update on the 'Best of the Bee' book.
Weird News
Broody mother goose has taken 47 babies under her wing - and they're so cute
“This phenomenon is known as a gang brood"
Man falls through floor of home, plunges down 30-foot well Pair hired for man's broom sexual fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes In fart news: Man fined £450 for 'provocative' fart in front of police officers Newton's recipe for 'toad vomit lozenges' up for auctionStuff That’s Good
Kyle likes Dead Cells the video game.
Ethan likes WACO on Netflix.
Stories of the Week
Story 1
Equality At Last: Disney Confirms Winnie The Pooh Will Now Be Voiced By An Actual Bear
Summary: In order to ensure that voice actors only portray characters they actually look like, Disney announced this week that Winnie the Pooh will now be voiced by an actual bear.
The real story: Several voice actors have stopped voicing characters that are not the same race they are. The Simpsons, Big Mouth, American Dad, Cleveland Show.
Story 2
Doctors Recommend Locking Down And Reopening Repeatedly Until Everyone Has Nervous Breakdown
Summary: A survey of leading physicians unanimously agreed that the best response to COVID-19 is for the government to lock everything down, then reopen, then lock down again, then reopen again and to just keep doing that until everyone completely loses their minds.
Story 3
Merciful God Vows To End Humanity Before 'The Princess Bride' Can Be Remade
Summary: Upon rumors of a remake of The Princess Bride, a spokesperson for the Almighty God confirmed that He will end the world in fire before He would ever allow that to happen.
Topic of the Week
Kyle and Ethan read a portion of G.K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy on the suicide of thought and discuss its relevance in our times of constant revolutionary agitation.
Hate Mail
Someone went to home depot and bought a whole bunch of flowerbeds.
Subscriber Portion
Kyle and Ethan dive into the mail bag, talk about their years in ministry, and have producer Dan join them to answer the ten questions. Subscribers, get to know the Bee boys.
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Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Costi Hinn, nephew of notorious faith healer Benny Hinn. After leaving that ministry behind, Costi Hinn is now a pastor at Redeemer Bible Church in Gilbert, Arizona. He is the author of God, Greed, and the (Prosperity) Gospel. They talk about Costi’s childhood living large like a Kardashian, learning about a different gospel from a pink study bible, and what goes on behind the scenes of a prominent prosperity gospel ministry.
Topics Discussed
Going straight into the deep end of Calvinism because of a pink MacArthur study bible A day in the life of Benny Hinn- what’s it like to have a personal duster? On growing up as a Hinn was a Kardashian lifestyle The prosperity gospel vs the Biblical gospel On batting 0.068 slaying people in the spirit and only “healing” one guy What went on behind the scenes at these healing events? Not raising a hand against the Lord’s Anointed, even if they happen to be creeps just claiming to have the anointing On whether prosperity health-and-wealth healers sincerely believe their own message or if they just cashing in On Benny Hinn’s occasional “repentance” on the prosperity gospel New wave prosperity preachers and the old generals The Ten QuestionsSee also: Benny Hinn is my uncle, but Prosperity Gospel is not for me
A few Babylon Bee articles on Benny Hinn:
Benny Hinn Holds Healing Service In Full Hazmat Suit
Benny Hinn Loses Control Of Powers, Sends Audience Member Soaring Hundreds Of Feet Into Air
Benny Hinn Spends Another Long Day At Children's Hospital Healing Kids
Benny Hinn Attempts Jedi Mind Trick On IRS Agents Investigating His Ministry
Benny Hinn Miraculously Removes Lump From Woman's Purse
Benny Hinn Added To 'Smash Bros.' Roster
Benny Hinn Masterfully Knocks Down Audience Members Arranged In Notoriously Difficult 7–10 Split
I Honestly Can Not Believe I'm Still Getting Away With This
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle welcome guest host Kira Davis who is editor-at-large at RedState. They talk about the difference between protesting and rioting, some problems Kira sees with the approach of Candace Owens, and how we need to have a reality show where everyone gets stuck in an elevator with someone they hate until we achieve world peace.
In the subscriber portion, Kyle, Ethan, and Kira talk about Black Lives Matter (as an organization and as a movement), where peace is found in this world, how Kanye is buying up Wyoming, serial killers, sending kids off to college, and that Trump photo-op with the Bible.
Kira can be regularly heard on her podcast Just Listen To Yourself.
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!
Show Outline
Introduction
Kyle, Ethan, and Kira talk about the weird “pacman” masks that allow the coronavirus conscious person to eat out at their favorite restaurant and how Kyle has never seen a Tarantino movie.
Main Topics
Kira Davis has some disagreements with Candace Owens. Kira Davis responds to Ethan’s 13 year old daughter on issues of social justice, race, and protests.Paid-subscriber portion
Black Lives Matter Trump Photo OpAlso mentioned on the podcast: Just Listen To Yourself With Kira Davis- Episode 37- Black Lives Matter
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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Kyle and Ethan talk to Dinesh D’Souza. He has been called a far right provocateur and is a filmmaker and the author of several books, most recently United States of Socialism. They talk about socialism, identity politics, and whether or not it’s okay to laugh at Apu.
Watch or listen to this episode on our podcast page, where subscribers can find full length episodes, or over on our YouTube channel. Subscribe using your favorite podcast platform here.
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Topics Discussed
Dinesh gives a rundown on the new socialists
What’s the difference between identity socialism and classic socialism?
Socialists abandoning the working class
The decline of Christianity in the culture and the rise of a new religion in the Left
Virtue signalling versus actual virtue
Debating libs vs debating atheists
Dinesh’s new book and what it’s all about
Is it okay to laugh at Apu?
Defending morphing Abraham Lincoln’s face into Donald Trump’s
Dating Ann Coulter
Paid-subscriber portion
The Ten Questions
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan celebrate the one year anniversary of the show and welcome Kyle’s dad, Brent, for Father’s Day. They talk shop about duct tape, flashlights, initialisms, rocket science, and dad hacks. They also dive into the week's news stories. Kyle and Ethan enlighten Brent on what CHAZ or CHOP is, and then discuss Elon Musk's quest to occupy Mars, and an aerospace engineer’s perspective on seeing God in creation.
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!
Show Outline
Introduction
Today on The Babylon Bee Podcast, we welcome Brent Mann, Kyle’s dad. It’s Father’s Day and we celebrate the Babylon Bee Podcast’s one year anniversary!
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Ethan likes Rifftrax.
Brent likes Columbo. Remember Columbo?
Weird News
Mum renovating home finds 'clever' tip from previous owner under old wallpaper
Florida man fist-fights alligator to save dogDeer runs into Black Lives Matter protest in New Jersey, seriously injuring woman
Teen fell into coma after having bubble tea twice a day for a monthSouth Carolina police seek couple accused of holding Pizza Hut manager at gunpoint, stealing Pepsi
German police: Petty thief fled supermarket, forgot his son
Story 1
Trump Enacts Tariffs, Travel Ban On CHAZ
Summary: Trump has announced a new set of tariffs and a travel ban on CHAZ, escalating the trade war between the United States and the fledgling nation-state.
The real story: An "autonomous zone" or Occupy Protest and sprung up in Seattle complete with warlords, speech codes, segregated gardens, calls for foreign aid from its capitalist neighbors, and brutal community policing tactics.
Story 2
Study: Average Father Spends 97% Of Time Running Around House Turning Lights Off
Summary: A new study of fatherhood in America found that the average dad spends up to 97% of his time running around the house turning off lights that the rest of the family left on.
The real story: Kyle's dad has an ingenious solution to teach your kids to not leave the lights on.
Topic of the Week
It's Father's Day! Kyle, Ethan, and aerospace engineer Brent (Kyle's Dad) talk about all sorts of stuff like dad jokes, initialisms and acronyms, Brent's work on the Space Shuttle program, Elon Musk's amazing space feats, and a few of Brent's fatherly quirks like how he carries a really old cell phone in a ziplock bag.
Hate Mail
A recent article made some very overworked and stressed booksellers very angry.
Subscriber Portion
Ethan and Brent talk bladder blabber when Kyle leaves the room, and then they continue going through Brent's box of stuff he brought in, and finish by talking about more dad hacks and stories, including the time when Brent acted out a scene from The Bourne Identity to chase down a bicycle thief.
Also mentioned on the podcast: Fingerprint of God: Recent Scientific Discoveries Reveal the Unmistakable Identity of the Creator by Hugh Ross
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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Things get downright puritanical when Kyle and Ethan talk to Nate Pickowicz and Dustin Benge about their new book The American Puritans. Dustin is Provost and lecturer and Union School of Theology and Nate is pastor of Harvest Bible Church. Dustin and Nate talk about the inspiration that they draw today from the lives of these men and women and their religious movement in church history while Kyle and Ethan try to figure out why someone would name their kid ‘If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned’ and whether it’s true that Puritans invented tablecloths to cover up scandalous table legs.
Topics Discussed
The difference between Puritans and Pilgrims
Puritan theology: Are sinners in the hands of an angry God?
Myth or fact: Puritan edition
Puritans’ favorite alcoholic beverage
Some church history of the Puritans in England and in America
Strange Puritan names like ‘Praise-God’ and ‘Fly Fornication’
People walking stark naked through church and cutting off Quaker ears
Some of the Puritans highlighted in their new book The American Puritans
Kyle and Ethan provoke some baptist answers to The Ten Questions in the Subscriber Portion!
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like how religious gathers and pretending to be protests so they can meet, our recent feud over putting Trump in an AWANA vest, and how all of a sudden defunding the police became a national talking point. Detective Dan from Small Town Dicks joins Kyle and Ethan to talk all about it.
In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan continue their conversation with Detective Dan!
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!
Show Outline
Introduction
Kyle's dad burns podcasts onto CDs and Ethan diagnoses depression in dads stemming from how children handle blu ray discs.
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes O.C. Supertones album For the Glory
Ethan likes Mac Smith’s Scurry.
This News Is Weird
Man charged with assault after thrown pickle hits Vermont highway worker
Peruvian mayor poses as corpse to avoid arrest for flouting coronavirus lockdown, reports say
Ocean Just as Gross as You Thought: Filled with Mucus
Doctors remove mobile phone charger from man's bladde
Crayola launches skin tone crayons so 'all kids can colour themselves
Seagull flies into woman's house and vomits on her kitchen counter
Stories of the Week
Story 1
Clever Churchgoers Avoid Arrest By Disguising Themselves As Rioters
Summary: Many churches still aren’t gathering in person but several congregations came up with a clever way to avoid arrest for gathering against government orders: disguising themselves as rioters.The real story: Governments seemed to be going hard after churches and other things deemed non-essential, but anything related to protesting was fine.
Originally a satire of how apparently COVID wasn’t a concern for anything related to the protest.
A thousand medical experts signed an open letter supporting public gathering for protests stating that “white supremacy contributes to COVID and is a lethal public health issue”
Churches were/are still fighting to open and trying to comply with lots of extra rules they needed to follow such as limited capacity, masks, no physical contact, some were saying no communion elements, no singing.
A prophecy fulfilled. A group of Hasidic youth in NYC put up a George Floyd sign so that they could not be shut down by the cops for their religious gathering.
Story 2
Trump Shows Off Completed Awana Vest
Summary: President Trump and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi are firing Bible photo ops back and forth, as you would expect politicians to be doing at a time like this. But Trump won the contest of Bible knowledge by showing off his completed Awana Sparks vest.
The real story: Trump decided to walk across the street from the White House to the Episcopalian church St. John’s (“The church of the Presidents”) which rioters had set on fire the night before. He did this as a show of resolve against the lawlessness which would lead to the burning of churches. He drew criticism for supposedly using police to drive away protestors with “teargas” for the photo op and for the way he stood in front of the church and held up the Bible like it was a political prop.
We decided to poke fun of the pandering-ness and the Bible being used as a prop by Trump and then Pelosi and then Cuomo all suddenly being experts on the Bible in all these weird public events quoting verses and making the Bible agree with their side
We put an AWANA vest on Trump, which prompted an email from AWANA communications chief asking us to immediately pull it down as it was “beyond satire” and how they didn’t want their vest to be on Donald Trump. They threatened to sue us if we didn’t comply.
Seth put AWANA on blast on Twitter
We learned Monday that they would NOT be pursuing a lawsuit
Kyle's Awana stories!
Ethan just hated Awana
Story 3
Los Angeles Police To Undergo Intensive Socially Conscious Slam Poetry Training
Summary: As public demand for comprehensive police reform grows, the LAPD is leading the way by training its officers in socially conscious slam poetry.
The Real Story: BLM protests are demanding #DefundThePolice… the details are vague but it sounds like they want to get rid of the police altogether in some instances.
Marriane Williamson has a great tweet about the ex-cops starting ISIS.
Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey was publicly mocked and shamed at a protest when he refused to say he would abolish the police..
Here is his walk of shame. “Go Home Jacob!” “Shame! Shame!”
The Minneapolis city council just voted 9-3 vowing to DISBAND their city police department and council president Lisa Bender told crowds that these 9 members were “committed to ending the city’s relationship with the police force and “to end policing as we know it and recreate systems that actually keep us safe.”
Has this been done anywhere before? Camden, NJ
“ the city's police department was disbanded and replaced with a new one covering Camden County that had more officers, but on lower pay, according to a City Lab report.”
A CNN anchor, Aislyn Camerota asked city council President Lisa Bender “who do I call when someone breaks into my house?” and she said that that question comes from a place of privilege
She later went on Chris Cuomo’s Prime time and said a "police free future" is "the goal."
We also did a CFA joke, but Ethan hates them.
Topic of the Week
Detective Dan of Small Town Dicks joins Kyle and Ethan to talk about all the police issues facing the nation. Dan was formerly a K9 handler and Violent Crimes detective at the same Small Town police department as his twin brother Dave, who also hosts the podcast with Yeardlley Smith of the Simpsons. Dan regards his years as a K9 handler to be the most rewarding of his career. He is now retired. They discuss misconceptions about the police and discuss changes we need to make to serve and protect everyone.
Hate Mail
We get an email filled with flowerbeds.
Paid-subscriber portion
Kyle and Ethan continue their conversation with Detective Dan.
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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Kyle and Ethan talk to Connor Boyack! Connor Boyack is president and founder of the Libertas Institute. He is best known for writing the Tuttle Twins series of books, which focus on introducing kids to the ideas of liberty and the free market. Kyle and Ethan talk about weed-smoking Mormons, how many wives a man can have in an anarchist utopia, and pouring libertarian fertilizer on the saplings rather than trying to save the old, diseased statist trees.
Topics Discussed
What are the Tuttle Twins series of books about
What is Libertarianism all about and what on earth is the deal with the Libertarian Party
Does a libertarian Mormon smoke weed?
Indoctrinating children with foreign ideas like "liberty" and introducing them to books by dead white guys
Isn’t it a bad idea to teach children about liberty since as parents we want to tell them what to do?
How many wives would each man be allowed to have in a libertarian utopia?
The polygamy case, where children were taken from their parents, that Connor worked on
The ten questions!
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like our cities burning down, the most righteous heroes of the riots, SpaceX scrubbing a launch because of a nosy Karen, and all our politicians suddenly became Bible experts overnight. Be sure to stick around for the main topic where two white guys decide to talk about critical race theory in the church and society, because why not?
In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan dive headfirst into the mailbag and talk about even more stories!
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!
Show Outline
Introduction
We are out of quarantine and into curfew, but at least we have new swag for the office.
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes Brave Ollie Possum: the audio book.
Ethan likes his own Spotify playlist: Every Song Is Perfect.
This News Is Weird
'The bird is free': India 'releases Pakistani pigeon held on spying charges'
Knocking on Florida couple's door were two alligators fighting
Monkeys attack lab worker, steal COVID-19 blood test samples
Turtle crashes through windshield on Georgia highway
Scientists say they went 'cuckoo' due to laughing gas from penguin poo
Five-year-old pulled over by cops on his way to buy a Lamborghini
Stories of the Week
Story 1
Powerful: Protesters Spell Out 'Love' With Burning Homes And Businesses
Summary: In a powerful display of love and tolerance, peaceful protesters in Minneapolis burned several city blocks so the fire would read “LOVE” from the air. Wow. Such love. Much peace.
The real story: Riots have engulfed the country. It seems like overnight COVID-19 disappeared and were replaced with absolute mayhem everywhere. The riots are over the wrongful death of George Floyd, who was killed by a police officer who had his knee on his neck for nine minutes. (We’ll discuss more in the main topic.)
Top 10 heroes of the riots
Somehow Chris Matthews and Chris Hanson both make an appearance
Story 2
SpaceX Launch Scrubbed After Local Karen Calls The Cops
Summary: SpaceX had tried to launch a rocket but was forced to scrub the launch after a local Karen called the cops, reporting that people were outside doing things and she did not like it.
The real story: If ever there were a good time to leave Earth…
SpaceX did have a scrubbed launch but then launched for real later in the week. Its module successfully docked with the ISS.
Story 3
Trump, Pelosi Face Off In Intense Game Of Bible Jeopardy
Topic of the Week
Critical Race Theory in the church / racial divides in church culture
There have been some strange reactions in the Evangelical world to this whole situation.
Some funny/interesting reactions from inside and outside the church:
Matt Walsh posted a video of white people kneeling to black people: https://twitter.com/mattwalshblog/status/1267507181689192448?
Dean of Union Seminary: “What has alienated America from its very soul, thereby virtually normalizing violence against Black lives? Answer: whiteness itself.” (link and soundbyte)
NBA Announcer fired for tweeting “All lives matter” (link)
CRU (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ) is holding segregated prayer meetings (link)
NBA reporter cheers on burning down of low income housing but then calls rioters "animals" when they come around his neighborhood.
There is a blueprint for racial reconciliation being adopted by many in the evangelical Christian world that seems to come from something called Critical Theory, or Critical Race Theory. So what is it?
Yearning for justice points us to objective reality in Jesus Christ
Hate Mail
A man is concerned our story on the Constitution dying from coronavirus may cause confusion.
Paid-subscriber portion
Mailbag!
Kyle and Ethan answer some fair criticism about The Babylon Bee's coverage of Joe Biden.
Story 1
Summary: Gavin Newsom has been listening to scientists throughout the pandemic, but it turns out the main scientist he was listening to is actually a bunch of raccoons in a lab coat. Sad!
Are we not listening to SCIENCE! Anymore now that there are progressive crowds out and about?
Story 2
Archaeologists Unearth Galilean Coffee Shop Where Jesus Held Small Group
Summary: Archaeologists have found one of the coolest Bible landmarks: the coffee shop in Galilee where Jesus and His disciples would hold their weekly small groups.
How would Jesus’s small group have been?
Small groups: yay or nay? What’s wrong with a good old-fashioned Bible study? Where’s the coolest place for a small group to hang out?
Small group horror stories
Subscribers, send us small group stories!
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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Kyle and Ethan talk to pro-life activist Lila Rose from Live Action about opposition to her organization, politicians gaslighting, and fostering a culture of life. Watch Kyle and Ethan get owned by facts and logic and be told their jokes are bad.
You can listen to Lila Rose on her new podcast: The Lila Rose Show!
The Lila Rose Show explores questions about relationships, work, health, identity, purpose, and faith, with political and cultural commentary.
Also follow Live Action on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.
Topics Discussed
Lila has a new podcast to promote
How did Live Action get started
Taking on Anti-Abortion “Lies”
Parenting challenges like when one child makes themself vomit all over the kitchen from scarfing down hot chocolate packets while you are attempting to have the smaller toddler have their nap time.
Pranking Planned Parenthood
Deciding on what is the funniest dog
When they lit up WTC One Pink to celebrate the new abortion bill in New York state that allows late third trimester abortions
Politicians gaslighting about how sacred life is despite their policies
Kyle and Ethan get jabbed at for their Protestantism in the subscriber portion when they ask Lila The Ten Questions.
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like how we now have an awesome worship song generator on the website now. Subscribers sent us their unsolicited recordings and they were so good we had to share. Kyle and Ethan bring in a guitar and try their hand at randomly generated worship songs. Also, Biden can now decide people's race and gender, Florida violates the laws of SCIENCE by not killing more of their citizens, and social media is cracking down on misleading avatars.
In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan go to the mailbag and answer some great questions from you, the subscribers.
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!
Show Outline
Introduction
There's been an issue with the subscriber length podcast on downloader apps. If you are having trouble getting the full episode try deleting the URL and re-adding it.
Frank Fleming has a new book Superego: Fathom. Buy it!
Kyle reached the end of YouTube and Ethan got locked in a park.
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes American Gospel: Christ Alone which is a sobering, layman’s-level look at the prosperity gospel and how it has spread through the American church and beyond. Now available on Netflix.
Ethan likes Parry Gripp if you want your small kids to get good songs stuck in your head instead of bad songs.
This News Is Weird
Woman refuses to go on family walks after they invent disgusting 'poop tag' game
There is nothing more humiliating than carrying warm dog poop around
Boy, 9, cries after mum surprises him with first McDonald's since lockdown
‘Hitler’s Alligator’ Dies In Moscow Zoo At The Age Of 84
Boy, 6, Cracks Open Robbery Case By Reeling In Sunken Safe From Lake
Robot dog herds sheep in New Zealand
We finally get robots and this is what we do with them? Who wanted to replace dogs?
Kitten with two faces born in Oregon barn
A dog’s dream or nightmare?
Grizzly bear with white fur caught on camera in Canada
It’s called a polar bear duh
Stories of the Week
Story 1
Biden: 'If You Don't Let Me Sniff Your Hair, You Ain't A Woman'
Summary: In a recent interview with a female reporter, Joe Biden suddenly lashed out, shouting, “Listen, if you don’t let me sniff your hair, you ain’t a woman!”
The real story: Speaking to Charlamagne tha God last Friday, Joe Biden said, “If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black.”
Biden is not alone among our political class in making wacky statements.
Also mentioned: Ancestry.com Revokes Genealogies Of African Americans Who Don't Support Biden
Also also mentioned: To Save Time, The Babylon Bee Will Now Just Republish Everything Biden Says Verbatim
Story 2
Florida Ruled To Be In Violation Of Science For Not Having More People Die
Summary: Science says Florida should have seen skyrocketing deaths from COVID-19, but instead Florida has not seen anywhere near the number of problems faced by states like New York and New Jersey. Because of this a judge has ruled the state to be in violation of Science.
The real story: Governor Ron DeSantis was getting slammed in the media for a cautious, “lax” approach to the crisis, with people predicting a huge number of deaths in Florida. This disaster never happened. DeSantis focused his approach on the most vulnerable, like nursing homes, while other states like New York locked the elderly in with COVID-19 patients and restricted low-risk populations severely. People criticized him for opening beaches saying doom was sure to follow a few weeks later -- but this did not happen.
Florida: 2,200 deaths / 21,000,000 people
New York: 23,000 deaths / 19,500,000 people
How does Andrew Cuomo do such a bad job managing this thing and get away with it while Florida gets slammed while doing a great job?
The politicization of this virus is unfortunate. It doesn’t feel like other national crises we’ve faced where we all band together against the big, bad threat -- it feels like we’re hoping our political foes lose big time no matter the cost in human lives.
Story 3
Facebook To Begin Fact-Checking Misleading Avatars
Summary: Facebook announced today the social network will now be displaying a fact-check notice atop avatars that are an inaccurate portrayal of the user.
The real story: Facebook recently launched customizable avatars similar to Bitmojis and Apple’s Memojis. They tend to look nothing like the people creating them, whether intentionally or not.
Ethan is offended that they do not have truly obese options
The avatars are very trans-friendly in that you can mix male/female body types, whatever you want.
Kyle feels his avatar is fairly accurate though they didn’t have his misaligned tooth or his quarantine neck beard.
What’s the deal with avatars anyway? I guess it’s fun to see what you’d look like as some kind of generic mass-produced cartoon.
Topic of the Week
The Babylon Bee unveiled a new feature: the Worship Song Generator. A few of you actually recorded your songs!
Kyle and Ethan generate songs on the spot!
Fan submissions:
“Ten Bazillion Reasons To Sing” by Jaycie and Charis Chambers
“Insane, Scandalous, Reckless, Unstoppable” by Lacey and Raina Cornelsen
“Thundering Heaven Deluge” by Jeremiah Webster
“Eternal Body Ember” by Kevin Grant and Daniel Flores
What lyrics were pitched by the writers but didn't make it in?
Hate Mail
It is short and sweet this week, but we don't think these people used their real names.
Paid-subscriber portion
Mailbag: We pull back the curtain on what it’s like getting pseudo-famous on the internet in response to a question from Bee fan Calvin Haynes.
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to apologist Dr. Frank Turek. Dr. Turek is an author, public speaker and radio host. He is the author of two books (Correct, Not Politically Correct and Stealing from God) and co-author of two more with Norman Geisler (I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist and Legislating Morality).He hosts a call-in talk show called CrossExamined on American Family Radio. His television show, I Don't Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist, airs on the NRB Network. Kyle and Ethan talk to Turek about bad atheist arguments, evidences for Christianity, and Ethan sings a special song inspired by the CrossExamined website logo.
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Topics Discussed
Is Turek of any relation to Turok the dinosaur hunter? Ethan asks Frank if he wants to hear a song he wrote for him. It gets intense. Bad atheist arguments Who would win in a fight? If God is good and all-powerful, how could he allow the Star Wars Prequels to exist? Are murder hornets ontologically bad? What the evidences for the New Testament?Subscriber Portion
Kyle and Ethan ask Frank Turek questions submitted by our subscribers and then give him The Ten Questions
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like teenage expert Greta Thunberg teaching everything now, Elon Musk being the real-life Tony Stark, and Biden hiring a translator to render his speech into plain English. Ravi Zacharias went on to glory so our topic of the week is recalling Ravi's impact as an apologist and ambassador of the Gospel. This episode gets emotional.
In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan continue their tribute to Ravi and talk about civility, humility, and forgiveness.
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!
Show Outline
Introduction
Ethan helps out a family. You can help out too at https://www.ethannicolle.com/post/helping-a-struggling-family
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes Seinfeld 23 Hours To Kill and Ethan likes Kerry Callen’s Super Antics and Halo & Sprocket
This News Is Weird
Alleged thieves wore watermelons over heads at grocery store
'Virtual Pub Quiz' sets Guinness record for YouTube streaming
Pentagon officially releases UFO videos
Massive asteroid flying past Earth next week looks like it's wearing a face mask
Stories of the Week
Story 1
MasterClass Replaces All Instructors With Greta Thunberg
CNN added Greta to their panel of COVID-19 experts
Check out the new ad from MasterClass!
Story 2
Musk threatened he was leaving CA to another state
Musk threatened they were reopening their factory and to come and arrest him if they county insisted on trying to keep them closed
CA or the county of Merced backed off
Tweeted “Take the red pill”/but red rose is democratic socialism
Elon Musk speaks in parables and riddles, like Jesus
Story 3
Biden Campaign Hires Interpreter To Translate His Speeches Into English
Biden’s interpreter reached out and provided a handy key to help us understand Biden’s unique and endearing speech patterns. Here are a few of the examples that should help you next time you see a Biden speech.Topic of the Week
Kyle and Ethan recall great teaching moments from Ravi Zacharias.
Clips referenced:
Meaninglessness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03qR8b4P8Uk
Islam/forgiveness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmRCsXRassg&feature=youtu.be
Testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO8HWH7aq-s
Civility: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MYQhFB_f4I
Humility: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f78Nr4P5KaE
Short tribute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP5NybBs0Ak
Another short tribute: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSy4YtExaJg&t
Meaninglessness is self-defeating: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4i68mc1lMkc
Subjective moral reasoning: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0218GkAGbnU
Hate Mail
Going to video means we are beginning to get comments on our appearances and some conspiracy theories about Kyle.
Paid-subscriber portion
Ravi Zacharias still teaches Kyle and Ethan about forgiveness, subjective moral reasoning, humility, and civility.
To watch or listen to the full length podcast, become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to professor Tim Milosch about China and international politics. Tim Milosch is an adjunct professor of communication studies, teaching world politics at Biola University, and is currently pursuing a doctoral degree in political science studies at Claremont Graduate University. Did the virus start from someone eating some bad bat soup? Is the Great Wall really that great? Are the Chinese a bunch of filthy commies? Who is General Tso? Find out by watching this new episode!
You can hear more from Tim on his podcast Tim Talks Politics.
Topics Discussed
Which jokes are not racist? Who is General Tso? The origins of the coronavirus Who are the Chinese Communist Party? China’s handling of its neighbors in the South Sea and refusal to recognize independence for Taiwan or Hong Kong China making fake islands Chinese propaganda China cracking down on churches, demolishing buildings, arresting ChristiansSubscriber Portion
Kyle and Ethan subject Tim Milosch to the ten questions and we find out if there is a Roman Catholic Carman!
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In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk to Lyn Ulbricht, the mother of Ross Ulbricht who is currently serving two life sentences without the possibility of parole for creating Silk Road, which was essentially the libertarian Craigslist. Lyn Ulbricht heads up Free Ross, which is an organization that seeks criminal justice reform as well as Ross's freedom. They talk about Ross's case, excessive sentencing practices, and how Ross and Lyn have reconnected with Jesus during this whole series of events.
Topics Discussed
Who is Ross? What was he like before all this happened?
Silk Road
Ross's prosecution and sentencing
Ross's testimony about Christ giving hope in the midst of hard circumstances
Subscriber Portion
Kyle and Ethan try to break Lyn's brain with the ten questions.
Become a subscriber at babylonbee.com/plans
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This episode is brought to you by Faithful Counseling. Click that link and get 10% off!
In this episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle talk about the biggest stories of the week like the invasion of murder hornets, how a 30 second clip is dividing people, and the “if-it-just-saves-one-life” crowd supporting perpetual lockdown. Kira Davis, editor-at-large of RedState joins Kyle and Ethan for a bit and then Dr. Robert P. Murphy arrives to explain what in the world is going on with the economy under lockdown and how Christians should think more like an economist.
In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to listen to Kyle and Ethan wax poetic on all the wonders of cheese with a G.K. Chesterton reading!
Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!
Show Outline
Introduction
Kyle’s vacation out of California rapidly descends into chaos as his car explodes and Ethan tries to one-up Kyle’s story.
Stuff That’s Good
Kyle likes the In-N-Out Animal Style Fries & secret menu and Ethan likes The Steeldrivers (Chris Stapleton years).
This News Is Weird
Florida lizard breaks world poop record, dies constipated
Man walks into Dunkin Donuts with no mask — or pants
'Darth Vader' enforces lockdown in Philippine village
French encouraged to eat more cheese as act of patriotism
Stories of the Week
Story 1
Trump Retaliates Against Asian Murder Hornets With American Kamikaze Bears
Washington state is noticing a worrying new invasive species of Asian Giant Hornets called “Murder Hornets”
Are bears the deterrent we need to stop this unchecked aggression from the Far East lately? What other options did Trump consider?Story 2
Asking For Context Of Thirty Second Video Revealed To Be Racist Dog Whistle
Ahmaud Aubrey was followed in a truck in an alleged citizen’s arrest by two whites, a father and son.
When one of the men tried to use a shotgun to force the man to comply, an altercation occurred, in which Ahmaud was killed.
Everyone is forming an opinion based on 30 seconds of footage- which looks really bad- but does it provide all the relevant data we need to decide guilt? Is it okay to ask questions?
The struggle of even talking about this civilly and the frustration felt by all people
Story 3
'It's Worth It If It Saves Just One Life,' Says Woman Who Supports Abortion On Demand
Hypocrisy of the left on saving lives… trying to keep abortion clinics open and shutting everything else down
Obviously would have to shut down cities, get rid of cars, planes, subways…
As if a permanent lockdown on the economy won’t cost lives in the long run. Even now the UN is warning about 260 million marching to starvation worldwide as a result of the economy being shut down. What about those lives?
If we don’t get back to work and produce things, pretty soon we won’t be just watching netflix and ordering in pizza every night. Things will get bad for everyone.
Planned Parenthood’s bizarre tweet on Mother’s Day
Interview of the Week
Dr. Robert P Murphy joins Kyle and Ethan to help explain what in the world is going on with the economy. He breaks things down like Ethan is five and uses numerous lemonade stand analogies. We had some issues on the skype video quality.
Love Mail/Hate Mail
We talk about how we are a racist trash fire.
Paid-subscriber portion
Looking at Chesterton’s essay on cheese. Poets need to write more about cheese.
Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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Editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle go on a roller coaster ride of an interview with outspoken Christian and duck hunter Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame. He was quarantining before it was cool and he gives life lessons and gospel witness in this whirlwind episode. They discuss free toilet paper you find in the woods, what the apostle Paul says about killing millions of ducks, and how sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll don't satisfy.
You can watch Phil's new show In The Woods With Phil on Blaze TV.
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020! Get a Sneak Peak!
Topics Discussed
Having a camera crew living with your family
Being explicitly Christian in a public sphere
Living off in the woods all by yourself- quarantining before it was cool
Free toilet paper in the woods
Coming to Jesus and living by the good book
Phil's mouth is Noah's ark filled with two of every animal
Why we kill ducks and not geese
Putting down the pudding and picking up popcorn
This episode is available to watch in full for everyone as a celebration of the launch of our video podcasts.
Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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In this special mother's day episode of The Babylon Bee podcast, editor-in-chief Kyle Mann and creative director Ethan Nicolle are joined by their moms, Diane and Diane, to talk about the biggest stories of the week like celebrities being just like you, believe-all-women hypocrisy, and how expert predictions always go well. Then, the biggest topic of the week, your mom. We find out about what it was like having to raise Kyle and Ethan and whether or not it was worth it.
In the subscriber portion, subscribers get to keep listening to the two Dianes spill on all the really embarassing stories that they have on Kyle and Ethan. Kyle's mom brings in a treasure trove of old stuff Kyle made.
Send your emails to podcast@babylonbee.com and maybe we will answer you in our next Mailbag segment!
Pre-order the new Babylon Bee Best-Of Coffee Table Book coming in 2020!
Show Outline
Introduction - Kyle and Ethan are joined by Kyle's mom Diane and introduce viewers to the new videocast.
Stuff That’s Good -
Kyle - Disc golf
Ethan - Crooked Still
Weird news-
Police in India reveal device to detain coronavirus lockdown violators without contact
Kentucky governor apologizes to Tupac Shakur for unemployment mix-up
Sign warns 'mystery human poo-er' to stop defecating on garage
Man takes 43 wet sponge hits to the face for Guinness record
Stories of the Week
Story 1 - Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out 'We're All In This Together' With Their Yachts
With Americans feeling the financial pressure of millions of jobs lost, Celebrities joined together to bring hope to the nation by spelling “We’re all in this together” with their yachts
Patton Tweet
People who thought it was real
Hope police cars - PROPHECY REPORT cops got together to spell out HOPE with their cars and they really did that
Story 2 - Judge Dismisses Sexual Assault Allegations Against Biden On Grounds That He Is Not A Republican
At a prelimary hearing to establish evidence in the sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden, a federal judge dismissed all charges after the revelation that he was not a Republican.
This is the new normal since Kavanaugh
Get screenshots of tweets from Kavanaugh era
Adam Ford updated old Pelosi tweets: https://disrn.com/news/opinion-updated-some-of-pelosis-tweets-in-light-of-accusations-against-biden
Feminist attorney Lisa Bloom said she believes Tara Reade was assaulted by Biden but still supports him: I believe you, Tara Reade.
Authorities in the scientific community who touted faulty COVID-19 models confirmed today that they are "pretty confident" they know what the weather is going to be like in 100 years.
Kyle and Ethan play Name That Failed Prophecy!
Topic of the Week - Your Mom
Was it worth it?
Weird/embarrassing stories from the kids’ youth (subscriber?)
What’s your favorite yo momma joke?
Parenting advice: you’re obviously great parents since you raised the minds behind The Babylon Bee. What is some advice you have for all the young mothers out there?
What was the worst part about raising (Ethan/Kyle)
What hopes and dreams were crushed the moment you became a parent
What do you do with all your free time now
Kyle talks about his Christian upbringing. You didn’t let him watch movies like The Terminator or Friday the 13th, scarring him for life. What do you have to say for yourself?
Are there any interesting home remedies you found as a mother?
Tips for moms -- agree or disagree
Love Mail/Hate Mail- We got some hate regarding this gem.
Paid-subscriber portion
Exclusive moms stuff
Subscribers, please send you emails to our mailbag at podcast@babylonbee.com so Kyle and Ethan can answer your questions or talk about the things you want to hear about.
Become a paid subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans
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