Episodios
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It’s time to bust out the oil and start lathering those jacked pecs, because Apocalypse Video is headed to the jungle for a special tribute screening of Predator in honor of the late, great Carl Weathers. Just be sure to also cover yourself in mud, as well. You’ll thank us later.
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we prepare for the ultimate hunt are fellow cinephiles and elite special forces commandos Mike, Jackie, Ryan, and special guests: Cody and The Fridge.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Predator being the most quotable film Arnold Schwarzenegger ever made; we speculate on what other covert missions Dutch and his team of expendables were up to pre-Predator; and finally, we ask the question that’s been on everyone’s minds since 1987; what do Predators do when they aren’t out hunting?
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
That’ll do it for this week’s episode, folks. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got a choppa to catch. -
Captain’s Log, Stardate 3372.7. The Trek Cast remains trapped in the TOS era of Star Trek, and our next assignment is Season 2’s “Amok Time”. An episode filled with horny rage and awesome fight music. I have instructed my crew to behave themselves during the screening, and not to emulate the insubordinate behavior of Mr. Spock, lest they find themselves in the brig for illogical conduct.
I’m your host and captain, Dave, and joining me again as we travel through the final frontier of the Original Series of Trek are fellow Trekkies Lt. Mike and First Officer Jackie.
Topics of discussion in this episode include a breakdown of Pon Farr, aka: the Vulcan version of the Birds and the Bees; we get a peek into the bizarre and macabre world of the “Omegaverse”; and finally, we wonder if this whole episode was just an excuse for Gene Roddenberry to live out his sci-fi cuck fantasies.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know, but please, only logical answers will be accepted.
The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return with The Paradise Syndrome. -
¿Faltan episodios?
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Let me just say this right now, folks: when someone tells you that hooking up smokestacks to your septic tank will result in a 95% reduction in airborne poo particles, they’re probably telling you a tall tale. Take us for example. We attach a pair of smokestacks, and before you know it we’re getting hit with lawsuits from people suffering acid burns and even death. But luckily, our old friend Immortan Hoof has provided us with a monster film that just so happens to tackle this very subject…
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we sit down for some Kaiju on Smog action are fellow cinephiles and bonfire-loving hippies Mike, Ryan, Jackie, and Nick “Immortan Hoof”.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Godzilla entering Fatality mode as he rids the Earth of Hedorah with Kano-like brutality; the 60’s are alive and well in Japan as we witness the psychedelic club scene in Tokyo; and finally, move over Mjolnir, because Godzilla has devised an even more outlandish form of propulsion: heat ray flying.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
That’ll do it for this episode, folks. And don’t forget - stop the spread of pollution! If you see a mound of smog with red eyes, punch through it with your fists! Together we can stop smog from ruining our planet, one glowy goo orb at a time! (This message brought to you by the Apocalypse Video “Save the Planet” Foundation). -
There are those who believe that podcasts here began out there, far across the universe, with tribes of neckbeard film fans who may have been the forefathers of the movie review podcast. Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man who even now podcast to survive, somewhere beyond Apocalypse Video…
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we begin yet another spin off pod series is my faithful companion and trusted advisor, “Nick” Immortan Hoof.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the surprising amount of carnage and dog murder in this otherwise cheesy 70s sci-fi show; Lt. Starbuck gives Troy Mclure a run for his money in the sleazy scumbag department; and finally, we learn the all important lesson of space casinos: if it’s run by bug-people and you haven’t lost one hand in five hours, odds are you’re about to be turned into bug food.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. What’s your favorite Battlestar episode? Hit us up and let us know!
The Apocalypse Video Battlestar Galactica Original Series podcast (aka: APV-BSG-OG-POD) will return with Lost Planet of the Gods. -
Apocalypse Video Bond-Cast Mission Dossier:
The Target:
1971’s Diamonds are Forever
Your Contacts:
Apocalypse Video (M)anager - Dave
Agents - Mike and Jackie
Mission Objectives:Pay Sean Connery a King’s Ransom to return to the role of BondUncover the behind the scenes drama between Jill St. John and Lana WoodInfiltrate Blofeld’s fake moon landing setAdditional Objectives:
Rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
The Apocalypse Video Bond Cast will return with…Live and Let Die. -
We get a lot of whacky customers in Apocalypse Video. Everyone from ptera people to lizard people come into our store not understanding what a movie is, to which we are forced to educate them on the lost art form that was once Cinema. But every once in a while we encounter a customer that is simply unable to distinguish the line between reality and fiction. A person so convinced that what they are watching is real that they are willing to put their own life and the lives of others at risk.
Such a person entered the store recently. And the object of their obsession…? The 1995 hit sci-fi adventure film Congo – or, as this person stubbornly believes, the 1995 documentary film Congo. Well, let’s just say that someone who enters the store wielding a giant laser isn’t someone we want to disappoint. If Congo is what she wants, Congo is what she’ll get.
I’m your host and leader of this expedition, Dave, and joining me as we venture deep into the jungle of Michael Crichton’s imagination (even though apparently he had almost nothing to do with the making of this movie) are fellow cinephiles and TraviCom cronies, Mike, Ryan, Cody, and special guest Herkemina Homolka.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Tim Curry eating as much scenery as humanly possible; Joe Don Baker teaches us that nothing is more important than family (unless there’s a big ass diamond involved); and finally, we can’t help but feel a little bad as Laura Linney mercilessly lasers the film’s primate villains to death.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
And so concludes our expedition into the Congo. We’ll be back next week with an all new Bond Cast! Until then…put down my sesame cake!!! -
There’s nothing quite like the bright lights of the big city - specifically, New York City. As they say, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere! So you can imagine my disappointment when I found out the Deluxe New York Virtual Getaway package I picked up was actually for Staten Island, New York and not New York City. Thankfully, our Hilton Star Trek Simulator does allow for movies to be shown in a panoramic setting…and there’s one movie in our collection that just so happens to feature a killer’s row of stars and the great city of Manhattan in all of it’s grimy, sleazy, pre-Giuliani glory.
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try to make it in the big city are fellow cinephiles and off-Broadway stars Ryan, Mike, and Jackie.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Kermit’s Don Draper turn; we witness Animal go full spider-mode as he attacks famed character actor Dabney Coleman; and finally, we’re shocked to discover that Jim Henson beat Brad Bird to the punch when it comes to rats running a kitchen.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
That’ll do it for this episode. Now start spreading the newwwws!!! -
Captain’s Log: Stardate 3141.9
After a freak accident thrust our Hilton Star Trek Experience Simulator into a temporal wake, we have found ourselves deposited in the TOS era of Star Trek. Our systems are damaged and our onboard C.H.A.D. computer tells me that it will take several months to fully restore the systems so that we may travel back to our own time - our own…Next Generation.
Though we can leave the simulator at any time - and we are not technically trapped back in time - we find ourselves annoyed with the customers in the store who repeatedly ask if movies like Madame Web or Wonka have hit the shelves yet. We keep telling them that these movies only exist in a parallel universe to ours, but…no one listens. For these reasons, Mike, Jackie, and myself choose to stay in the simulator in the hopes that the adventures of Kirk, Spock and McCoy will cure the doldrums of our miserable, nightmare lives….
I am your host and Captain, Dave, and joining me as we turn deflectors to maximum are fellow Trek fans Lt. Mike and First Officer Jackie.
Topics of discussion in this assignment include the bizarre love of dictators from the Enterprise crew; we collectively fan ourselves as Khan lays down a thirst trap; and finally, we ask just what the hell a Reorientation Center is supposed to be?
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What are your favorite episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series? Let us know, but please, only logical answers will be accepted.
The Apocalypse Video Trek Cast will return as things get horny with Amok Time. -
“Someone didn’t go to Yosemite…”
The year is 1998. After twenty years and five sequels, the Halloween franchise needed a shot in the arm if it was to compete with the likes of Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Enter returning Halloween veteran Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Williamson, and the scariest element of all – Harvey Weinstein – to show us all that blood truly is thicker than water.
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me for this blood soaked family reunion are fellow horror fans and Hillcrest Academy dropouts, Nick “Immortan Hoof”, Mike, Jackie, and special guest: Janna.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the emerging trend of sweeping select entries in a franchise under the rug; we wonder why the producers felt the need to leave all of the rejected Michael Myers masks in the finished film; and finally, after a brief peek at the trivia, we learn that legally evil can-not die.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] What did you think of Halloween H20? Worst film in the franchise? Or the best? Let us know, we want to hear from you.
The Apocalypse Video Halloween Retrospective will return, along with Jamie Lee Curtis (one last time…at least until the next reboot), with Halloween: Resurrection. See you then, and be sure not to lose your heads! -
Well, we did it, folks. After four and a half years we’ve finally hit two hundred episodes. It’s been a wild ride and even though most of us have been killed, brought back, killed again, and forced to watch some pretty god awful movies, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we’ve had the time of our lives bringing the lost art of cinema back to the wasteland. And I know that you’re thinking - surely they’ve got an ace up their sleeve for the big 200! Well, you’d be right.
After 199 episodes (and a few attempts on our lives) we’re finally saying goodbye to C.H.A.D. and replacing him with a fully functional anthropomorphic android with all of the bells and whistles! We’re talking a fully digital sound system; VHS, Laserdisc and Betamax capabilities; and of course, it comes complete with a laundry list of corny jokes. I gotta tell ya, this thing is awesome. I’m totally not experiencing buyer’s remorse after spending half of my year’s salary on this marvel of modern robotics. (Now…where’s that C.H.A.D. boot-up disc again…?)
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me again are original co-hosts and cinephiles Ryan, Cody, and special guest, Nick “Immortan Hoof”.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the surprisingly lucrative business of clock making; Sam Neill teaches the audience (and his robot) about the birds and the bees; and finally, Andrew Martin goes where no android has gone before: having lots of sex with his owner’s great granddaughter.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
That’ll do it for this episode, folks. It’s been a great pleasure bringing you two hundred episodes of foolishness and we can’t wait to bring you two hundred more. (Now…what’s a good movie with “400” in the title…) -
Another new year is almost upon us, but unfortunately, unlike everyone else in the Wasteland, we’re not partying at the top of a decrepit old skyscraper or pounding mother’s milk at Citadel - no, we’re stuck in the store, slavishly devoted to our mission statement of spreading the lost art of cinema to the people of the world. But after this New Year’s Eve night and the film we’ve just watched, we may want to re-evaluate that mission statement...because we may have just witnessed the bottom of the cinematic barrel. Something so terrible and vomit inducing that our new mission statement should be keeping this film out of the eyes of the general public for the rest of time, lest everyone gouge their eyes out to prevent themselves from ever seeing this cinematic sludge again.
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try our best not to perform self mutilation are fellow cinephiles and Jensen groupies Mike, Jackie, and special guest: Kara.
Topics of discussion in this episode include a regular cavalcade of cinema’s biggest stars…and Mike Bloomberg; Ashton Kutcher channels Lee Harvey Oswald for his New Year’s Eve performance; and finally, we stay through the credits long enough to witness the most disgusting piece of product placement ever committed to film.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
And so endeth the final episode of Apocalypse Video for this year. We’d like to thank everyone out there for listening and we can’t wait to bring you another year of great movies, okay movies, and hopefully no more of whatever New Year’s Eve would qualify as (I’m gonna say…cinematic bile?) -
Christmas time is here! And that can only mean one thing: Apocalypse Video’s obligatory Christmas episode! And this time we’re not talking about some box office bomb involving Santa Claus, or a precocious young boy running two criminals through a maze of death in New York City -- no, this time we’re doing the ultimate romantic comedy. A film that’s synonymous with Christmas and features not only one love story but eight! I’m talking, of course, about the 2003 modern day classic, Love Actually.
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we try to navigate this charming but convoluted web of love are fellow cinephiles and Billy Mack groupies, Ryan, Mike, and Jackie.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the absolutely bonkers notion that people in airports are happy and filled with love; Alan Rickman experiences all of the downsides of an affair without even getting laid; and finally, we talk about how the film’s most iconic profession of love is also it’s creepiest.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
That’ll do it for this year’s Christmas episode. From everyone here at Apocalypse Video, we hope you feel the spirit of the season in your fingers, in your toes, etc. etc. -
Apocalypse Video Bond-Cast Mission Dossier:
The Target:
1969’s On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Your Contacts:
Apocalypse Video (M)anager - Dave
Agents - Mike, Jackie & Nick “Immortan Hoof”
Mission Objectives:Evaluate the new 007: George Lazenby (and ascertain whether or not his Butt-Chin can double as a deadly weapon)Book a room at Piz Gloria (aka: the United Nations of Babes)Shock the audience with a downer ending
Additional Objectives:
Rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
The Apocalypse Video Bond Cast will return with…Diamonds are Forever. -
After weeks of Suburban Commando’s, Lawnmower Men, and cartoon RoboCop’s, we here at Apocalypse Video thought it was high time we watched a quality movie from a quality director. Something with comedy, action, and romance; a true crowd pleaser. And what better director to choose than old Sammy Fableman himself: Steven Spielberg.
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we break out of pre-release are fellow cinephiles Mike, Jackie, and Ryan.
Topics of discussion in this episode include Spielberg going surprisingly edgy in his motion picture debut; we bask in the blinding stardom that is 70s era Goldie Hawn; and finally, we pitch our remake of The Sugarland Express with the help of studio A.I. and the hottest up and coming stars from the early 2000s.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
That’ll do it for this week’s episode. Don’t forget to collect them gold stamps, ya’ll! We’ll cya next time! -
With Shocktober behind us, I must admit that I’m a little relieved that our non-stop horror movie marathon has come to an end. Don’t get me wrong, I love Shocktober as much as the next guy, but thirty one straight days of nothing but horror films is bound to wear anyone down just a little bit.
Thankfully, we here at Apocalypse Video happen to have a super computer named C.H.A.D. that can recommend fantastic films based on hyper advanced algorithms that will satisfy even the most jaded of movie watchers.
That said, even hyper intelligent supercomputers can have off days…
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we leave the horrors of Shocktober behind for the greener pastures of 90s action comedies are fellow cinephiles and Hulkamaniacs Mike and Ryan.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the downward trajectory of Hulk Hogan’s film career; we talk about how WWE is basically SNL for wrestlers (aka: up and coming actors); and finally, we break down Suburban Commando’s trailer and how a 90s trope became one of our favorite one liners in all of cinema.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected]. Got a movie you'd like us to watch? Hit us up and we'll talk about it on the show!
That’ll do it for this week’s episode, folks. From all of us here at Apocalypse Video we wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and that hopefully the film we discussed on the show didn’t ruin the holiday with its overall crappiness. Cya next week, brother!!! -
COMMAND COM
LOAD BIOS
MEMORY SET
SYSTEM STATUS
OK…
SECTOR 2 - APOCALYPSE VIDEO
CARTOON DISCUSSION IN PROGRESS…
SUSPECTS: APOCALYPSE VIDEO MANAGER: “DAVE” AND WASTELAND RULER: “IMMORTAN HOOF”
DISCUSSION TOPICS DETECTED:
1. ZIP CHIPS ARE RUINING OUR CHILDREN’S MINDS
2. ROBO TEAMS UP WITH THE ULTRA-POLICE FOR A NEW TOY LINE
3. CLARENCE BODDICKER RETURNS TO UP THE VIOLENCE LEVEL TO TV-Y7
DIRECTIVE 5:
RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE TO APOCALYPSE VIDEO WHEREVER PODCASTS ARE OBTAINED AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.
DIRECTIVE 6:
RETURN TO SECTOR 2 IN THE FUTURE TO ENFORCE THE ROBOPOD WITH MORE ROBO-RELATED CONTENT
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION – GOODNIGHT -
COMMAND COM
LOAD BIOS
MEMORY SET
SYSTEM STATUS
OK…
SECTOR 2 - APOCALYPSE VIDEO
CARTOON DISCUSSION IN PROGRESS…
SUSPECTS: APOCALYPSE VIDEO MANAGER: “DAVE” AND WASTELAND RULER: “IMMORTAN HOOF”
DISCUSSION TOPICS DETECTED:
1. ROBO BEATS CAPTAIN PLANET TO THE “SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT” CAMPAIGN
2. ROBO LOSES POWER YET AGAIN
3. ROBO-DOGS
DIRECTIVE 5:
RATE, REVIEW AND SUBSCRIBE TO APOCALYPSE VIDEO WHEREVER PODCASTS ARE OBTAINED AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK.
DIRECTIVE 6:
RETURN TO SECTOR 2 TO ENFORCE THE ROBOPOD WITH: MENACE OF THE MIND
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION – GOODNIGHT -
Six times the terror... Six times the fear... Six times the thrills...
At long last, the origin of Michael’s Madness is finally revealed…via a producer's cut that was too stupid for public consumption. It’s Halloween 6: The Cursed Reshoot - err, I mean, The Curse of Michael Myers.
I’m your host Dave, and joining me as we try to make sense of this goofy retcon is fellow horror fan and Cult of Thorn disciple, Immortan Hoof (aka: Nick).
Topics of discussion in this episode include the baffling ending to the theatrical cut of Halloween 6, which includes what looks like the clone room from Alien: Resurrection; we give Smith’s Grove Sanitarium a safety violation for it’s randomly placed wall spikes; and finally, we come to the realization that maybe Dr. Sam Loomis wasn’t such a bad psychiatrist after all when it came to Michael Myers - it was that pesky pagan cult undermining his treatment all along.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] Let us know what your favorite scary movies are and what gives you the bugaboos.
The Apocalypse Video Halloween Retrospective will return, along with its franchise’s most famous star, with Halloween H20: 20 Years Later. Until then, keep watching the skies for Thorn! Whenever it appears, we appear!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!! -
Welcome kiddies to the final installment of the Apocalypse Video Shocktober Spooktacular: Cyber Edition. For our last bout of cyber horror, we bring you the 1975 horror classic, The Stepford Wives.
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we submit our applications to the Men’s Association are fellow horror fans and black eyed automatons Mike, Jackie, Ryan, and Immortan Hoof (aka: Nick).
Topics of discussion in this episode include the unholy hellspawn of Disney’s most deranged imagineer; we talk about the movie’s long lasting legacy on horror; and finally, the ending of this film may have ruined boobs for all of us.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] Let us know what your favorite scary movies are and what gives you the bugaboos.
The Apocalypse Video Shocktober Spooktacular: Cyber Edition is now powering down. We’ll see you next year, kiddies. Until then, be wary if your spouse says they want to move somewhere “quiet” - you may just be in line for a Stepfording. -
The line between horror film and thriller is something that comes up a lot in film nerd circles. Is Silence of the Lambs a horror film or a thriller? Does a film have to include a big, scary guy with a knife chasing a naked woman through the woods to be considered Horror? Who’s to say? But one thing is certain, there is nothing as horrifying as Tom Sizemore’s wig in Kathryn Bigelow’s Strange Days.
I’m your host, Dave, and joining me as we put on our squid’s and start reliving weekend roller skating trips are fellow ghouls and VIP’s at The Retinal Fetish, Mike, Jackie, and Ryan.
Topics of discussion in this episode include the most unsettling VR experience you could ever have; we brainstorm other scenarios for Squid clips, which include mundane paperwork and boring relationship moments; and finally, we break down why the movie failed at the box office and why it may be the fault of everyone’s favorite cyber smuggler, Johnny Mnemonic.
Be sure to rate, review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can also Follow Us on Twitter, Like Us on Facebook, or shoot us an email at [email protected] Let us know what your favorite scary movies are and what gives you the bugaboos.
The Apocalypse Video Shocktober Spooktacular will conclude with the 1975 sci-fi horror classic, The Stepford Wives. So pack your bags and join us in the quaint little town of Stepford where the tuna casseroles are delicious and the tennis courts are nonexistent. - Mostrar más
