Get Off My Lawn Podcast #51 | You know that age when you really get into something?Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
This rambling hodgepodge of a show was meant to be an involved look at how we grow as adolescents but it quickly degenerated into me punching a boom box in frustration while trying to play tapes of my old bands.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #50 | My phone addiction has reached critical massGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I am on my phone almost as much as you are and we need to stop. It’s preventing us from having deep thoughts and it’s removing us from ourselves. This is making us weaker when we meet new people. Not to sound too LA but when you’ve worked on yourself, you’re more comfortable around people. Like America, if people don’t like you, they can leave. You have to like you first and that begins with getting away from your damn phone (I typed this on my phone BTW).
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #49 | A lot of my buddies are being framedGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
You ever notice that when a newspaper writes about your hometown or something you know a lot about, they get everything wrong? That’s true of all media. It’s also true of the entire justice system. All my friends are being threatened with jail time for crimes they didn’t commit but we are not going to let that happen.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #48 | I invented a new dietGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I’ve lost almost a pound a day with a new diet I invented called “Beer Starvation.” All you do is grab a beer and nurse it every time you’re starving. The only time you can eat is at dinner. That’s it. The end result is a smaller stomach which means, when you finally do eat, you only need a few bites. All this fancy exercise and paleo this and gluten that is just lazy people trying to cheat the basic truth that all you have to do to lose weight is burn more calories than you take in.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #47 | My wife asked Nick Cave what he has for lunch last nightGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I wish I could tell you about my wife and kids more, but crazy people make it a dangerous thing to do. In this ep I talk generally about marriage and what it’s like to have little kids. It’s fun but you need to watch out for the alphas. They are the enemies within and will literally kick you out of bed.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #46 | I never really got titsGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
In this pornographic NSFW podcast, I get into the different types of tits and why my friend got AIDS. There’s also the time in high school the uncircumcised guys would fight the circumcised guys by wedgie-ing them to death. The moral of all these stories is men appreciate women a lot more than women seem prepared to admit. Basically, we’d sleep with any woman who hasn’t appeared on “My 600-lb life."
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #45 | Did you know whales are dogs?Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
This one is all about evolution. Basically, life is just a magic goo that started out billions of years ago and was meant to be you and me but ended up on all kinds of stuff. Water bears and hammerhead sharks are losers. We won. Also, it’s possible we lived under water for a long time. There’s even a tribe called the Badjao who are doing it right now!
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #44 | Picking up garbage has nothing to do with helping the environmentGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
We start out attacking my neighbors for picking up twigs on earth day. Apparently sticks are bad for the environment and buying tons of plastic bags to pick them up is good for mother earth. Then, I talk about my weekend which included hanging out with cops and riding a boat around Manhattan. There were two major fights and Milo Yiannopoulos got chased out of a restaurant but otherwise it was a pretty fun weekend.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #43 | Why does everything have to be so perfumed?Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I start out crapping on doggie doo doo bags and how much I hate that they’re perfumed. This starts a whole rant about all the things I hate including flip-flops, fake boobs, baby boomers’ ring tones, the beeping sound trucks make when they go in reverse, helmets on ski slopes, and the way restaurants give everyone a gigantic glass of water before anyone orders anything. I thought the common thread for all of these would be deception but self-indulgence and cowardice are also big contenders. When I become dictator, all of this will be abolished.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #42 | Let's Just Abolish SchoolGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I start out with a pretty reasonable idea: liberal arts colleges are a complete waste of time and you should only go to college if you’re going to take STEM. However, soon after, I get radical and suggest that grade school should be about 80% recess with only a few, curious students doing any real studying. Sure, they should learn to read and write but the rest should be up to the few who really want to learn. Oh, and kids should also have random jobs like building license plates. This new structure would leave a society with only about 5% getting higher education. Good. Now we have way less student debt and way more tradesmen. Insisting everyone is smart is stupid.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #41 | I didn't quit Fox NewsGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
In this sizzling hot episode, I gossip about my eight years at Fox News and dish all the gossip while naming names. The short version is that it’s a great place to work with very moral people but their hiring practices are a little too PC for a straight, white male like myself. The long version is, well, the long version is this podcast.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #40 | Marriage is EasyGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
While it’s fun to sow your wild oats, I want to make the case for moving on here. Young people, partying and getting STDs is fun for like, a decade, but it gets old around 25. Try moving on to the next chapter. Feminism and porn is making both of you think there’s no point to life but take it from someone who crossed over to the other side, there is another world out here. Also, married people, can we stop treating divorce like it’s a casual trip to the dentist. It’s a brutal procedure that destroys kids lives (the same kids I was just trying to sell marriage to). Traditionalism may be uncool but ignoring its merit gets sadder and sadder as you get old.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #39 | I Was Just Listening to Kathy Griffin on Howard SternGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
Although this episode is primarily focussed on comedy and the First Amendment, we get political and examine the difference between how censorship affects the right and the left. I believe non-liberals get it far worse, especially the moderate New Right because we’re appealing to young people and therefore considered a more dangerous threat than the Far Right.
Get Off My Lawn #38 | I'd Like to Tell You About a LunaticGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
This one’s all about the early aughts in New York City and hanging out at gay bars with my friend Trevor. You’d be surprised how easy it is to meet chicks in that environment but New York is still a violent place and fist fights are just a normal part of going out.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #37 | I'm Not Proud Of This But I Pretended I Was RetardedGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
Wherein I focus exclusively on all the hustles, scams, and cheats I have perpetuated over the years. We accompany each tale with a morality rating and I usually come out looking pretty bad.
Get Off My Lawn #36 | Fighting Solves EverythingGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I go over half a dozen fights I had as a young man and use them to prove that violence is just. Being bullied as just as important as bullying because they teach you the inevitable truth that we live in a kill or be killed society. This helps you in business and just about every other interaction you have. You’re not a man until you’ve had the crap beaten out of you, beaten the crap out of someone, had your heart broken, and broken a heart. This ep focusses on the first two.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #35 | I Forgot Something in the Heroin EpisodeGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I start out getting to some unturned stones from the previous heroin episode and then focus on the gays. We talk about the myth of trans, the lack of homosexuals in the suburbs, and the absurd notion that people in big cities are homophobic. I also wonder aloud if gay suicide is some kind of subconscious recognition they’re weird. They’re not evil or an abomination or anything Fred Phelps-y but like a vegetarian lion or an albino, they are unusual and that’s got to chip away at you over time.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #34 | Had A Lot of Friends Die of Heroin OverdosesGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
On today’s heroin special we look back at all my friends who OD’d and how that relates to the modern opioid epidemic. Turns out heroin ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #33 | The Best ChildhoodGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
In this issue I try to sell you on the idea of having children because I use to be like you and my only regret is that I waited so long to have a family. Within this pitch, I also get into marriage tips like, “It’s OK to have a bad year” and parenting tips such as, “You can be friends with them when they’re young or friends with them when you’re old. You can’t have both.”
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #32 | Zambia has Outlawed Sex DollsGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
Wherein the host, me, argues that we used to be much less humorless 20-30 years ago. Xenophobia was considered amusing and it was simply a given that the West is the best. To prove this, I go over some examples of anti-PC comedy from the 70s (PJ O’Rourke’s National Lampoon essay “Foreigners Around the World”) and use it to not only prove that xenophobia can be amusing but also that the West is inarguably superior to everywhere else in the world.