Get Off My Lawn #75 | Can You Guys Stop Ruining Art, Please?Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
Austin is banning bands and ruining their careers for not following the rules. I don’t want artists to follow the rules. I don’t even want them to know what the rules are. Same with movies. I don’t want to know how actors feel about climate change and the latest tax cuts. I want to pretend they are being chased by CIA operatives through Budapest. We keep ruining art by dissecting it and exposing every intimate detail. That’s like watching a chick get ready to go out. It ruins the surprise.
Get Off My Lawn #74 | I Think You Have X-Amount of "Chi" In You Per DayGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I start out talking about how productive you can be and if it’s predetermined. I also ask if taking drugs like Adderall can change that amount which gets me on a tangent about being introduced to the drug by Johnny Knoxville and what it was like hanging out with the Jackass dudes. It was fun because they’r’e fun. There’s a moral there and it’s simple: Don’t do drugs. OK maybe do some but know you’re just borrowing from tomorrow’s productivity.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #73 | You ever been shot with a super soaker while reading the newspaper?Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
What was supposed to be a funny episode about all the cute things my five-year-old does, quickly spirals out of control and becomes an angry old man rant about water, elaborate drinks, and the fact that 100% of kids in America are addicted to staring at various screens. If they’re not playing a video game they’re watching a video of someone else playing a video game and this constant over stimulation is leaving them with no creativity and unable to play like normal kids. It’s an epidemic and it’s destroying an entire generation’s childhood.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #72 | There's a funny thing happening in comedyGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
This is a very serious episode about jokes and what’s happened to them. Political correctness has infiltrated all of comedy now and the result is sketch comedy, stand-up, movies, and TV are only allowed to offend one group: kids. Comedy is still wildly offensive but only in regards to that group. The end result is the bits become even more disgusting because you’re seeing comics handle blacks, Jews, gays etc with kid gloves and then treating children like they’re human garbage.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #71 | I Was in the Special Class When I Was 12Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
Initially my teachers thought I was gifted but after doing a few tests, they realized I was borderline “special needs” and put me in a class with the dumbest kids in the school. The strange thing about this class was it also included kids who teachers just didn’t want to look at. There was an autistic kid, a hemophiliac, and some random chick dying of cancer. They all had good grades but they made teachers uncomfortable so off to the Special Class they went.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #70 | There's a weird bald dude in front of my house.Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
In today's episode of "Living in the suburbs" we meet a weird dude who's been meditating and praying in front of my house. After confronting him and assuming he was a complete mental patient, I saw him being normal at a bar where a black guy stormed in and threatened to kill us all, first with a baseball bat, then with a gun.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #69 | 35 years ago today George Brett had the greatest temper tantrum in the history of baseballGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I begin the show celebrating the 35th anniversary of my favorite temper tantrum: the time George Brett attacked a ref for calling off a victory due to some stupid rule about the bat. Then we examine the time Brett got food poisoning and poo’d his pants. This strangely segues into guns and what it would be like to be a ghost.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #68 | Don't have sex with women in TorontoGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
In this cockamamie theory episode, I posit the assumption that you need to be at least tangentially associated with the Mediterranean to be good in bed. Girls from Montreal are good lays because they are originally French and the south of France is on the Mediterranean. Girls from Toronto, however, are not even remotely linked to that body of water and despite having kick ass bodies, they do not know what to do with them.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #67 | My mom's a bitchGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
This was the speech I was going to do for my parent's 50th Anniversary party but my dad kiboshed it because he said his friends are 70 now and they don't like swear words. Oh well, his loss is your gain.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #66 | You ever know anyone who sleepwalked?Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I start off laughing at sleepwalkers and all the stupid stuff they say but this somehow drifts into a talk about 9-11 and what it was like in NYC that day. Then it gets all heavy and I start crying like a little bitch.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #65 | It's fun to talk to kids about barf.Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I had food poisoning the other night and I can't help but think it was my history with LSD that enabled me to overcome the last barf session. This leads to a discussion about the long term effects of hallucinogenic drugs.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #64 | I had farts last night that could have ended my marriageGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
This ep is all farts all the time as I delve into how bad flatulence can effect how your wife feels about you. Being Scottish and also a severe alcoholic means I have a weak stomach that is constantly being abused. That leads to toots that are so severe, I’ve often had people in public assume there was some kind of chemical spill (not in Glasgow, of course, they know what time it is there because they have the same problems). I make a few small tangents about not being vulnerable around your significant other but this ep is almost fanatical in it’s dedication to fart talk. Actually, if it was a talk show it would be called Fart Talk with Gavin McInnes.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #63 | You just got knocked the f**k out!Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
After a weekend of rioting, I focus on one particular punch that summarizes the problem with millennial arrogance. Why would you pick a fight with someone who could clearly kick your ass? Because he’s a Nazi? I don’t get that. First of all, he isn’t. Secondly, if he was, aren’t you scared of him? I used to fight Nazi skinheads in the late 80s and I was petrified of every confrontation. They were very scary dudes and they kicked the crap out of us on a regular basis. This somehow segues into the number of women in action movies and how distracting it is to see a super model murder a gang of thieves who rob banks during hurricanes.
Get Off My Lawn #62 | Milo did nothing wrongGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
In this Special Edition of GOML, we dish all the latest celebrity gossip on Milo, Justin Theroux, and Will Ferrell. I also get into this right VS. left civil war and how likely the left is to be crushed by the gun-owning, super grumpy, right wing brawlers they keep picking fights with.
Get Off My Lawn #61 | Has everybody lost they damn minds?Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I start out talking about this new trend of yelling at Trump supporters for no other reason than you’re a mental patient. I went through it recently at a baseball game and it’s not scary or shocking. It’s just weird. Like when a homeless person zeroes in on you for some crazy reason. Then, I get into people picking fights with someone they couldn’t possibly take. Most of us learned not to do this at an early age but today’s youngsters want to throw down with people who would happily eat them for breakfast. Finally, I start talking about dealbreakers men have when it comes to women’s beauty. Outside of morbid obesity, there is one doozy we just cannot bend on. See if you can guess what it is (no it’s not a penis, you weirdo).
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #60 | It must be weird to be gayGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
This was supposed to be about how weird it is to be gay but I went off on a tangent about some jerk who peed all over the toilet seat in Montreal and I sat on it. How are we, in a modern Western society, having to wash stranger’s pee off our butt cheeks and legs?
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #59 | Friday, Friday, gotta get down on FridayGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I start out getting mad at Tina Fey for pooping on America using the cute humor that came from having an awesome midwestern childhood with conservative parents. This leads to chastising all baby boomers for basically doing the same thing. Then, I take a 90 degree turn and devote the rest of the show to this weird mod kid I knew named Matt who kidnapped his girlfriend and went to prison for a long time. Back when we were roaming the streets of New York City, we broke into a Tofu factory and discovered dozens of illegal aliens being kept as slaves.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #58 | Ladies, it's not the jocks you have to watch out for, it's the nerdsGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
Like you, I grew up assuming all jocks were date rapers and all beta-male, feminist ally, stand-up comedians were good people with a heart of gold. Turns out, the opposite is true. It appears nerds such as Chris Hardwick are the ones abusing women while the alpha male jokes are washing the barf off of drunk girls and carefully tucking them in. At the end, we discuss SaveTommy.com and how important it is to pitch in.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #57 | I guess I better talk about this Vice article in New York MagGet Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
Most of this podcast is about the NY Mag article that just came out entitled, “A Company Built on a Bluff.” New Vice and old Vice are obviously denoted by me leaving in 2008 and it certainly wasn’t a bluff back then. I don’t know much about them post 2008 but I’m assuming that when the sales guy takes over the editorial, the content is going to get a lot more advertorial.
Get Off My Lawn Podcast #56 | Why does my daughter need to know the surface area of a rhomboid?Get Off My Lawn Podcast w/ Gavin McInnes add
I start out railing against schools and teachers and how totally incompetent they all are. New York City schools are way worse than you could possibly imagine. It’s basically one big Animal House (but less funny). Then we get deep into the Nazi myth and how insane you’d have to be to honestly think white supremacy is a real thing and a threat to American society. It’s no less nuts than Bigfoot chasing.