Episodios
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Eddie Capparucci and his colleagues Heather Cronemiller and Lacy Alajna Bentley have collaborated on a book for women struggling with sex, love, and addiction. Going Deeper for Women: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Love and Sex Addiction is based on Eddie Capparuci's Inner Child Model for treating sex/ addiction. This Inner Child Model has been helpful to many men over the past 4 years and now the authors have specifically formulated it for women!
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Today Carol the Coach will be talking to Josh and Charlene Lewis who are co-founders of programing for both the partner and the addict that have foundations in the works of Patrick Carnes.They have an intensive that is remote and they believe in making it easy for their clients. On this podcast they will be sharing their own hope, strength and wisdom that built their programing to get you the right tools to manage recovery and betrayal.
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Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Dr. David Fawcett who has written a new book called Under the Influence about the deadly effect that substances have in combination withcompulsive problematic sexual behaviors. When sex and drugs are combined repeatedly and compulsively, there is a high risk of developing what Dr. David Fawcett calls sexualized drug use. This condition is also referred to as paired substance and sex addiction or addiction interaction disorder.
Unfortunately, the response from the professional community to sexualized drug use has been far from adequate. As Dr. Fawcett writes, “I have had countless clients come to me who have gone through well-known and otherwise exceptional drug addiction treatment programs that never addressed co-occurring behavioral addictions, most notably sex and addiction. Because of that shortcoming, those clients found themselves still struggling with sobriety and life in general.
This book is intended to be a guide for individuals curious about their own sexualized drug use or the sexualized drug use of someone they care about, and for professional seeking more clinical information. The information contained herein provides insight, guidance, and relief to people struggling to break free from sexualized drug use, steering them toward affirming and satisfying sex and intimacy without the need for a mood-altering substances and behaviors.
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Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Amie Woolsey who has created a program for women who have experienced sexual betrayal and have decided to divorce to and move on to their next chapter.
She teaches about the three pillars - Awareness, Acceptance, and Agency - when applied to a partner's healing journey, to enable empowerment and choice.
She has offered a free workbook to get you thingking and to remember. that you have choices. She tells her partners, "Whether you're in the "Should I stay or go" mindset or the "What the heck do I do next?" mindset, this workbook is crafted to meet you where you are and provide clarity on the most crucial aspect of any decision-making proces.
She believes, your mindset is the single most important part of any decision because you are the CHOOSER in your life. This workbook serves as your trusty guide, allowing you to explore your thoughts and feelings in the safety of your own space, at your own pace.
When someone in your life has made choices that stripped away your own power to choose, reclaiming that power and becoming the CHOOSER is absolutely critical. Decisions made from a place of empowerment have the amazing ability to erase the paralyzing fear of making the wrong choice.
If you go to Amie's website, you can print off as many copies of her workbook as you need to fuel your curiosity. Listen as she describes her program to support partners in any way she can. -
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Sam Louie who authored Passport to Shame From Asian Immigrant to American Addict. Sam explains that "Asian cultures are rooted in shame. They are known as shame-based societies because the lives, families, and mindsets of these cultures revolve around some aspect of avoiding shame to preserve familial and cultural honor. In Chinese culture alone, there are more than 100 different ways to describe shame. While some of them overlap with English versions of shame, such as a sense of disgrace and humiliation, many others help shed light on why and how shame is so pertinent among Asian cultures. Within the Chinese, some of the shame-related terms and references are: a nation’s humiliation/shame (i.e. bringing shame to yourself also brings shame to your family, ancestors, and community and your entire ethnic background and/or family’s country of origin); the old father-in-law carries the young daughter-in-law on his back to cross a river (in Chinese culture, it is considered inappropriate for a father-in-law to have physical contact with his daughter-in-law, thus equating how taboo it is to be associated with shame); and a person lives by face as much as a tree lives by bark and as much as a light bulb is covered with glass (i.e. stressing the importance of maintaining a positive and good-standing public image)."
Listen as they discuss Asian culture and and how it is so deeply rooted in shame and why. -
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Janice Caudill and Dan Drake, who created his and hers, step-by-step, companion workbooks for helping couples prepare for, complete and heal after a full disclosure process. Since the books came out they are now training professionals to navigate these difficult waters with their clients, helping them to understand the infrastructure that underlies the Restoring Truth Model so that the disclosure can become the starting point for cultivating safety, trust, vulnerability and, ultimately, authenticintimacy for individual and relationship healing.
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When betrayal has occurred, it's natural for couples to seek out marriage counseling in a desperate attempt to repair the relationship, only to be frustrated because he doesn’t know how to show empathy for the pain the betrayal he has caused her and she doesn’t know how to feel safe with someone who violated her trust so deeply.
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Sherri Courtney and Laura Fisher who offers couples a solution that bridges the gap between the discovery of betrayal and couples counseling.
Sherri and Laura have integrated the principles from Help Her Heal, Unleashing Your Power and Help Them Heal into their Help Them Heal for Couples Signature Program, which offers a comprehensive Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM) based approach to healing a relationship when trust has been shattered through sexual betrayal.
They will be offering a Help Them Heal for Couples Workshop in January that will introduce couples to the ERCEM model and help them learn how to progress together through the 3 stages of partner betrayal: Safety and Stabilization; Anger, Grief and Mourning; and Post Traumatic Growth.
Sherri and Laura believe having the right help at the right time can make all the difference in relational healing and are committed to helping couples not only survive but thrive following sexual betrayal.
Website: www.helpthemhealworkshop.com
Email: [email protected] -
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Joshua Nichols who has developed 12 Types of Gaslighting and 4 Types of Vulnerability Exploitation to help you both identify these maladaptive coping skills to make healthier choices.
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Today Carol the Coach interviews Lisa and Andrew Reichel from Room to Heal. Room to Heal is a recovery residence in Charlotte, NC for men battling sex and addiction that breaks the mold of traditional sexual addiction recovery by offering men a more affordable option for immersive healing while providing intentional time apart for couples. They have a relationship-centered approach where both individuals receive coaching support while the addict is away and those coaches work as a team to keep the couple connected and safe in the relationship. Another unique aspect of the program is that the support doesn’t end when the addict returns home. Room to Heal will walk beside the couple through that transition and begin using the ERCEM method to process the anger and grief left by the betrayal. Their goal, like ERCEM is to ultimately help their couples reach deeper levels of intimacy than they ever felt possible.
If you are considering a theraputic separation, feel stunted in your recovery as an individual or couple, listen up. This program might be your answer.
"The programming includes support for the partner and the relationship through the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM). Our goal is to help the addict build a rock-solid foundation for his recovery while guiding both individuals to the safety and healing needed to begin rebuilding the relationship." -
Today Carol the Coach interviews Tina Wehner President of Hope and Freedom Counseling Services and Intensives. Tina will be explaining how going to a 3 day intensive can benefit the couple as they work at restoring their relationship.She explains that Intensives provide transformational results. She explains that "While we cannot cure sex addiction or heal from it's damage in 3-days we can help you uncover the roots of the spouses addiction, give the couple tools that include:
1. For the addict-tools for sustainable sobriety
2. For the couple-a roadmap to begin the process of rebuilding trust and healing from trauma.
Our intensives allow us to do 6-months of therapy in three days and jumpstart what is needed to start rebuilding trust. She will be explaining how the intensive uncovers the roots of addiction and lays a foundation for trust and safety. -
Do you ever feel like you need a guide for what to say to your children about the most important topics in their childhood? Do you want to understand why our society struggles with crucial conversations about consent, body safety, sexuality, masturbation, ography, and social media, and smart devices? Well today, Clint Davis, Counselor and Father, guides us through the how's, why's, when's and how to have these daring and pivotal conversations. Sexual trauma and overexposure to damaging content run rampant today and our children need to be protected and Clint will talk to Carol the Coach about how to do that effectively!
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Today, Carol the Coach speaks with Jesse Pyles, whose niche is the underserved male partner. He believes that male hetersexual partners have a lack of resources and as a result likely deal with the fear, anger and sadness and loss alone. In this episode he shares the common myths a male may hear if his betrayal is shared. Join us for a fascinating conversation about the nuances of men who have been betrayed!
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Today, Carol will be interviewing 2 professionals who have developed a program that speaks to the emotions that drive unwanted sexual behavior. Dr. Anthony B. Walker has a Ph.D. in Human Development and Family Science, is an APSATS candidate and works as an addiction recovery life coach and recovery group facilitator with Choose Recovery Services and Luke Gordon, is a Certified Addiction Recovery & Betrayal Trauma Coach and APSATS candidate. He is professionally certified through iPEC, trained in Brain Spotting, and is the co-founder of Choose Recovery Services. Together, they are passionate about helping men find lasting healing and transformation, overcoming unwanted sexually compulsive behaviors, and building healthy, fulfilling relationships.They visit with Carol today to discuss Choose 180, an online recovery group created to help men understand their emotions and how they affect unwanted behaviors.
Find out why this program meets the recovery needs of men with compulsive sexual behaviors! -
Aarti Chidambaram is Asia's sole APSATS-certified partner specialist. As a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS), she works with Partners of Betrayal Trauma. She is also on the Board of APSATS. Her approach to working with partners from “Discovery to Recovery©” focuses on practical tools to deal with complex issues. Facilitating one of the longest-running support groups in Singapore- and maybe in Asia, she is dedicated to helping partners find their voice and strength in the aftermath of betrayal.
A Certified Clinical ERCEM Specialist (CCES), Aarti also works with couples to help them navigate the murky waters of recovery after the devastation of betrayal. She is also an ERCEM Supervisor, helping other professionals with her skills and expertise.
She visits with Carol today to discuss a truly transformative partner retreat nestled amidst the breathtaking hills of South India! Open to partners at any stage of recovery, this retreat offers a chance to rejuvenate oneself through yoga, breathwork, mindfulness, trauma work, and group sessions. Embrace nature's serenity and discover your inner self while connecting with other partners, fostering strength and empowerment on this shared recovery journey. Let's heal and thrive together!
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Todday Carol the Coach is interviewing Tera Brown who is a trauma informed Coach and Speaker. As an APSATS trainee, she specializes in helping people who have endured relational trauma create personal safety, emotional awareness and peace. She woke up from a lifelong pattern she wasn’t even aware of when after 16 years of marriage her husband disclosed his addiction, infidelity, and struggles. Tera saw how she learned to avoid her emotions and began her personal journey of growth and recovery that day. Since then, her personal journey has taken her on a roller coaster of learning and growing. Her passion has become to share with others the tools she has found to live life authentically and on purpose. Tera teaches balance comes from intentional choices and trusting yourself. Together with her business partners, Tera has created several experiential intensives including La Loba: The Woman Who Knows.
LA LOBA: THE WOMAN WHO KNOWS is an intensive weekend of grieving, growing, healing and hope. It’s designed to help you move forward through the trauma of sexual betrayal, supported by others each step of the way: (1) You’ll bravely identify some beloved things you have lost—casualties of addiction, abuse and/or abandonment. (2) You’ll pick up the broken fragments of those tragic losses, letting yourself “feel the feels” that accompany such acts of remembrance and mourning. (3) You’ll discover something beautiful that rises up to fill the void of what’s been forsaken. (4) You’ll take some newly empowered steps forward, moving yourself toward peace, resolution and self-restoration.
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As a trailblazer and thought-leader in the field of GASLIGHTING, Sarah Morales found the "traditional" definition was leaving people MORE confused about what IS and IS NOT GASLIGHTING; it was stigmatizing; it was perpetuating fear and a sense of powerlessness. SHE FOUND THAT THIS WAS NOT HELPING ANYONE! Her work in this field over the past decade has led her to create her OWN definition of GASLIGHTING - one that has helped her clients SEE THEMSELVES; one that has helped shift the power BACK IN TO THEIR HANDS.
LIsten as Carol the Coach interviews Sarah about her free DeConstructing Gaslighting Webinar and the other Courses and Certifications that she has to offer! -
Carol the Coach believes that couples can get through partner betrayal and find post traumatic growth. Today, she interviews authors Joanna and Matt Raabsmith who along with Dan Drake, wrote Building True Intimacy:Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. In this book they describe about how couples can navigate some of the later stages of betrayal recovery as a team. Their roadmap helps a couple tackle issues like forgiveness and grieving, sexual reintegration, and building a thriving partnership. Using the skills and framework of the Intimacy Pyramid they will share how couples can work through some of the obstacles to full healing in their recovery journey. They have lived this journey and now they want you to find restoration too!
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Today, Carol the Coach, Mary Kay Cocharo who wants to educate our listeners abou a new type of support and intervention.Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy is an integrative relational model at the intersection of philosophy, clinical theory, organizational methodology, and relational neurobiology. It aims at assisting couples to experience the most alive and joyful connection with each other while helping each other grow and develop their relational intelligence on the path to relational maturity. It inspires couples to become not just good couples but creative couples! In the stage of Intimacy Building, EcCT will help you to learn an effective and powerful tool for better communication, to deepen emotional connection, resolve conflict, and create a shared vision for your relationship.The work is done in weekly couples counseling, in Private Intensives, and in Weekend Couples Retreats. We know what disconnects us from our partner, EcCT will teach you what connects.
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Today, Carol the Coach is talking to Hope Ray, the founder of the Betrayal Violence Institute. Hope has created new terminology and conceptionalization for professionals and couples when complex partner trauma and betrayal violence has been identified. She has created hope for society to better understand betrayal violence starting with the experieences of women in relationship with men who betray and lie about the addiction. In this interview you will hear Hope discuss why she feels that a better understanding of betrayal violence will help protect and manage the relationship in a more clearly defined way. She hopes that it will develop an awareness of how to create more safety, boundaries and assertiveness.
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Today, Carol the Coach interviews Sandra Shachar PhD, who has just released The Solution, Relationship Repair After ography Betrayal. In her book she realizes that can fracture a couples relationship. She writes, "It is likely that your relationship is in crisis following the discovery of hidden ography use. If you, as the discovering partner, accidentally learned about your mate’s ography habit, you may be in a state of shock and disbelief. Perhaps you did not know they were looking at at all. An additional shock may have been seeing the kind of ography they were viewing. You may be feeling hurt, angry, disgusted, confused, devastated, or all of these emotions at the same time. These feelings and reactions (and many more!) are all normal upon the discovery that your partner betrayed your trust with this secret behavior." In The Solution, Dr Shachar, helps you navigate the crisis, learn about betrayal trauma, and walk you through the steps to healthy living again!
For the person whose behavior was discovered, when you were confronted you may have “come clean” immediately—admitting your use of ography, promising it would never happen again and begging for forgiveness. On the other hand, you may have tried to explain looking at as a result of the state of your relationship or because of something your partner did or did not do. Perhaps you feel they are overreacting and that “everyone does it, so it’s not a big deal.” You may have tried to reassure your partner that “it isn’t what you think.” Perhaps you feel angry and defensive when they barrage you with questions, guilt and shame for having hidden this from them, or all of these emotions at different times.She wants to help guide you through these normal feelings and come up with an action plan for to help set boundries for your own mental health!
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