Episodi

  • This episode highlights Mark and Jill Savage, a couple who have worked through some very difficult challenges in their marriage, including infidelity. They have been married nearly 40 years now. Together they share why they decided to make things work rather than divorce and open up about how they've been able to make their marriage stronger. Whether you've experienced infidelity or you're just going through some rough patches, you'll benefit from the many insights from our discussion.

    About Mark & Jill Savage:

    Mark and Jill Savage are passionate about encouraging, educating, and equipping families and marriages. After serving in church ministry for twenty years, the Savage’s are now meeting the needs of families as authors, speakers, and coaches. Known for their honesty, humor, and
    practical teaching, Mark and Jill bring hope and encouragement to every audience.

    Jill is the host of the No More Perfect Podcast and the author of fourteen books, including the
    bestselling No More Perfect Moms. Together Mark and Jill have created five online marriage
    courses and authored several books including No More Perfect Marriages, I Really Messed Up,
    and My Heart Is Broken. The parents of five adult children, and grandparents of six, the
    Savage’s make their home in Normal, IL.

     

    Insights:

    Mark - Mine is on of a faith response. Its to humble yourself. Grab hold of the hand of Daddy God, and let Him lead you through the mess.Jill - There is hope and, and redemption available. Whether a marriage makes it or not, there's hope and redemption available. And so I think that it's, you know, that's kind of where I sat, you know, whether my marriage makes it or not, I have some growth to do.Dave - Having humility, compassion, positivity; fundamental values for relationships, and I can't echo that enough. And that no matter where you are in your relationship, that we're going to hit these rough patches, some more serious than others. I feel like if we would forget the person that we thought we married and get to work on the relationship with the person that we did marry and focus we’d find enjoyment and remind ourselves, the principal that we remember what we rehearse, we remember what we review. And if we're reviewing the negative, and the mess and the yuckiness that we don't like, then that's what we will remember. But if we can flip the script that you talked about, refocus, change that heart, and search inward and turn outward.Liz - Let work to flip the script, to crucify the negative and celebrate the positive. Because whatever I do focus on grows, and I'll find the evidence of whatever I believe I'll find it.

    Mark & Jill Link:

    https://www.jillsavage.org/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Dave and Liz talk with Amberly Lambertsen about the importance of prioritizing fun in your relationship. From laughing at the little things and making time for fun date nights to sharing silly memes to planning and talking about your next fun getaway. Couples who laugh and play together are more likely to stay together.

    About Amberly Lambertsen:
    Amberly Lambertsen is a Certified Family Life Educator. She received her Bachelor’s degree in Family Studies and her Master's of Education with an emphasis in Family Life Education. Amberly has a specific passion for marriage relationships and helping couples make their marriage a priority throughout every stage of life. She believes that by making time for the personal and romantic side of your marriage every day you are creating a strong foundation for the other pieces of your partnership to thrive and your relationship to last a lifetime. In addition to creating a long lasting marriage, Amberly believes couples should create a relationship they enjoy and want to continue to be part of. With creative date night solutions, tips for increased emotional and physical intimacy, ideas for creating more fun, and practical ways couples can focus on their marriage, Amberly helps couples make time to build and enjoy their marriage relationship every single day throughout every stage of life.

    Insights:

    Amberly: "Just find one thing you can do today to have fun together. What's one thing you can do this week, or you can do today to have fun together, and then do it again tomorrow and find something new or find something old, whatever that is just take an opportunity to have fun.Dave: "Make your relationship a priority. If you don't, then you naturally have this natural flow to isolation that you naturally will drift apart. So, couples who are intentionally creating the fun, whether it's spontaneous or let's plan something, those are the couples who I think will thrive rather than just trying to survive in their in their marriages and their relationships."Liz: "There’s no one I'd rather laugh with than my husband. I love laughing with him. He is one of my favorite people to laugh with. And I really want it to continue to be that safe harbor for him."

    Amberly Lambertsen Links:
    https://aprioritizedmarriage.com
    https://facebook.com/aprioritizedmarriage
    https://instagram.com/aprioritizedmarriage
    https://tiktok.com/@aprioritizedmarriage
    Podcast: Prioritize Your Marriage - https://open.spotify.com/show/5P5lHa1PjhLinOCwIIZaCk

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

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  • Monica Tanner joins Liz and Dave to talk about getting what you want in your relationship. She’ll tackle how to manage strong emotions, moving from complaints to requests, and the importance of compassionate curiosity. She will also share a four-step framework for getting what you want in your relationship. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction through her engaging podcast vibrant social media, community, and practical programs.

    About Monica Tanner:
    Monica Tanner, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast,
    transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and
    commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital
    satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, vibrant social media community, and practical
    programs, Monica's expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.

    Insights:

    Monica: "You know, there's a lot of things that you can't control in this life, but you can always control your experience inside of your circumstances. I find it to be a law of connection kind of like, matter is governed by the laws of gravity, you don't have to know that if I throw this pen up in the air, it's gonna come down. But if I do know it, it makes life a lot more predictable, it's easier to know what's going to happen, right. And so if you understand that you have full control over the experience you're having in any given circumstance, you become way more powerful, empowered, probably as the right word, you become way more empowered, to fight for the things that you want in this life, when you understand that you may not be able to, to control all the circumstances, but you can control your experience."Dave: "I love the idea of this compassionate curiosity. I've never heard it quite put like, but getting compassionately curious about that, not in a you know, I'm holier than thou and I'm not going to jump into this because I'm not that type of a person, but genuinely compassionate, getting curious, really wanting to understand them and to hear that to hear what they need. Rather than reacting to their emotions you have very powerful."Liz: "I think that is so interesting the idea of asking for what we want or what we need, it's really quite a compliment to our partner that I want to have. I want us to have it all right, I don't want to settle for me mediocrity. I really want to climb for that and reach for that top echelon of happy marriage."

    Monica Tanner Links:

    https://www.monicatanner.com/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/monitanner1/
    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/secretsofhappilyeverafter
    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@secretsofhappilyeverafter

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Today, Jeff Forte joins us to chat about everything from parenting and relationship stress to 10 second hugs and intentionally making the most of every interaction with your spouse or partner. Jeff Forte is a relationship expert and author of the books, the 90 Minute marriage miracle and be happy forever. Jeff has experienced both a divorce and the death of his second wife.

    About Jeff Forte:
    Jeff Forte, is an Executive Peak Performance Coach, Leadership Expert, Author, and Speaker. He writes about the areas of his life that he's had to improve by overcoming adversity. His ability to relate to the reader comes from his genuine desire to give the reader immediately useful tools, skills, and strategies that they can put to work right away. The ideas you'll read about in his books contain powerful secrets that begin to shift the odds of success quickly in your favor. His work is highly proprietary in nature. He's the creator of The Magenta System for personal transformation, The Magenta Process for emotional wellness, The Rising Love Marriage Repair Process for fixing marriage and divorce prevention, and The Leadership Alliance for creating a transnational shift in global leadership. His clients include Fortune 500 Executives, Professional Athletes, High Tech Visionaries, Emmy Award Winners, Global Leaders, Business Professionals, Couples and Teams.

    Insights:

    Jeff: I hope listeners remember that every interaction with each other is a chance for a fresh start. It’s a chance to improve things between you as a chance to deepen connection is a chance to reconnect to resolve conflicts a chance to apologize every single interaction can be utilized to improve your relations.Dave: What does my partner need from me right now. Right now, in this moment, what can I do to relieve stress from their life?Liz: The whole idea about distractions affecting attractions. Even Jeff, as you were so kind to talk about, you know, after the passing of your wife and then trying to date again, and how that distraction was really kind of hurtful to your son. And I, I wish more parents would pause and understand that who are either divorce or were also widows widowers to understand that, well, maybe there is a time and a place and the most important thing right now is the well being of that child.

    Invites:

    Take notice of how you can help reduce some of your partner’s stress; like doing the
    dishes, helping to cook dinner, picking up dinner….Be mindful of all the little distractions in your daily life that could be a cause of less
    attraction; ie: your children seeing you on your phone may prevent them from coming
    up and talking about something they’d like to share with you.It’s the simple things that help build a stronger marriage, try to do one simple thing
    today to show them that you care. Like write a note, make the bed, start the dishwasher…

    Jeff Forte Links:

    https://90minutemarriagemiracle.com/
    https://www.facebook.com/peakresultscoaching

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Today Dr. David Dollahite joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the connection between faith and marriage.

    About David Dollahite:
    Dr. David Dollahite, is a professor of family life at Brigham Young University. He received an MS and MFT and as a family life coach. He is co director of the American families of faith project. He has more than 200 publications for scholarly and public audiences. He has written or edited nine books on Family Life and Religion, including Home Centered Gospel learning and Living Strengths and Diverse Families of Faith, Religion and Families, and Successful Marriages and Families among other books. He and his wife Mary had been married for 40 years and have seven children and four grandchildren.

    Insights:

    “Personal religious choices, beliefs, values, commitments, obviously impact individuals but they also strongly impact other people; siblings, parents, couples, kids or spouses, kids." -Dave Dollahite"I think when each person in a marriage is humble about their own perspectives, their own attitudes, their own ideas about what should happen in a marriage, I think humility is sort of that, that core virtue that allows people to see good, see truth, see meaning and value in the other person." -Dave Dollahite

    Invites:

    Learn more about how shared religion can bring you closer to your partner.Find time to chat with your partner about both humility and commitment in your relationship.

    David’s Resources:
    Website: americanfamiliesoffaith.byu.edu
    YouTube: American Families of Faith
    Podcast: American Families of Faith Project

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Today Jeff and Tammy join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss helpful tips for
    blended or “stewed” families.

    About Jeff and Tammy Hill:
    Jeff and Tammy Hill have been enjoying the ups and downs of remarriage and stepfamily living for 17 years. Together, they have 12 children and both recently retired from teaching at
    Brigham Young University. They both continue to stay busy. Jeff helps with money workshops,
    and Tammy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and conducts love retreats, honeymoon workshops and dating boot camps. Most importantly, the hills love being parents, step parents and grandparents.

    Insights:

    “I think the fundamental principle is to honor the previous family, honor the original family honor to recognize that nobody wished that that didn't work out with that original family.”-Jeff Hill“If you really are grounded and know who you are, and are living aligned with who you want to be, you're gonna be a great marriage partner.” -Tammy Hill“Having a step family isn't something that happens overnight. It doesn't even happen within a year or two. A lot of the research says it takes between four and seven years until a step family, big blended family or our small blended family but anyway that this type of a family actually gets cohesive.” - Tammy Hill

    Invites:

    Chat with your partner about ways that you have moments to slip away from your family or home to just focus on your relationship.Listen to Tammy’s podcast “Live your Why” on spotify or apple podcasts

    Jeff and Tammy’s Resources
    Website: tammyhill.com
    Instagram: @tammy_hill_lmft
    Podcast: Live Your Why

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Today Utah Marriage Commission Manager, Alan Hawkins joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the challenges of an open relationship.

    About Alan Hawkins:
    Alan Hawkins is the manager of the Utah Marriage Commission. He recently retired after 33
    years as a professor at Brigham Young University. He earned a PhD in Human Development and Family Studies at Pennsylvania State University in 1990. Professor Hawkins scholarship and
    outreach efforts focused on educational interventions and policies to help couples form and
    sustain healthy marriages and relationships and to help fathers be engaged in the lives of their children. Since 2000, he has been intricately involved in state and federal policy efforts to
    support relationship education programs for disadvantaged families. He has served on the Utah marriage commission since 2004. And as a past chair of the Utah marriage commission. He currently serves as vice chair on the board for the National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education.

    Insights:

    “ I believe marriage is a relationship that asks you to give your all to each other mentally,
    emotionally, sexually, give your all to another person. I think that kind of depth in a relationship leads to a richness and a beauty and a power that you can't achieve by dividing your heart.” - Alan Hawkins“Go deeper with one person instead of broader with others.” - Dave Schramm“The deeper you get, the more you understand, which then means the more you love.” - Alan Hawkins

    Invites:
    -“Go Deeper” with your partner by downloading the Gottman Card Deck app.
    -Learn about ways that you can create a stronger marriage connection by attending the
    webinars held by the Utah Marriage Commission.

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Lori joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the common issues that
    result in a mid-life or “gray” divorce.

    About Lori Schade:
    Lori Schade is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AAMFT approved therapy
    supervisor running a therapy practice in Pleasant Grove Utah called Compassionate
    Connections Counseling. She specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and
    supervises therapists towards certification in the model. She has been an adjunct faculty
    member in the Marriage and Family Therapy Department at Brigham Young University as well
    as Utah Valley University. For over three decades she has practiced therapy alternately with
    raising seven children and has published several peer reviewed materials related to her
    profession. In her spare time she enjoys running, traveling, tandem bike riding with her
    husband, knitting and playing the organ. She is convinced the grandchildren are one of life's
    best kept secrets.

    Insights:

    “There's always hope. I have a very easy time being hopeful for married couples, sometimes I have to say, ‘borrow my hope.’ I actually got that from Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen. And I think it's so lovely. And a lot of times small changes bring about really large changes in dynamics in marriage.” - Lori Schade“There are two kinds of commitment. One is personal commitment, where you feel free to exercise where you want to put your loyalty. The term is kind of like restraint. It's actually called constraint commitment, and constraint commitment are all of those variables that keep people feeling stuck. It might be religious beliefs, it might be children in the home, it might be financial constraints, but there are those things where people might divorce but they stay there because they feel these barriers to divorce? And so sometimes at midlife, those are removed. And so I think it's quite possible that that's also why we might see a resurgence of divorce and at that time.” -Lori Schade

    Invites:

    Find time in your week to have a connection check-in with your partner by asking these three questions. How connected are we from last time we checked? More or less or the same? What's been happening in our lives that may have impacted the level of connection? What is one small thing that would help me feel more connected?"Reach out to a therapist to learn more about Emotionally Focused Therapy to see if it could potentially strengthen your relationship with your partner.

    Lori’s Links:

    Compassionate Connections Counseling Website
    Book mentioned by Lori: The Lost Love Chronicles: Reunions & Memories of First Love by Nancy Kalish

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Ariel joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss the complex dynamics of sex
    in a relationship and how women can feel empowered in their sexuality.

    Sign up for Ariel's FREE MASTERCLASS NOW THRU February 12, 2024: https://outlook.office.com/mail/safelink.html?url=https://ladiestalkinglove.com/masterclass&corid=6a8a53f5-c147-1b8a-d10f-5cc24b4e1cb5

    Starting February 5, 2024 earn a special $20 discount from using this link: https://ladies-talking-love.ck.page/products/womens-sexuality-course-registration?promo=DAVE

    About Ariel Finlinson:

    Ariel Finlayson is a women's sexuality educator and the host of the ladies talking love podcast.
    She recently earned her master's in Human Development and Family Studies at Utah State
    University. A native of northern Wisconsin, she can't get enough of forests or fresh squeaky
    cheese curds. Her online course from pressure to passion empowers women to live up to the
    joy and fulfillment they deserve in their relationships. She is currently living in Utah with her
    husband, Kyle, and their four young children.

    Insights:
    “I think just recognizing number one, that it is a really important part of your relationship to foster. And then number two, that it isn't all of your relationship but with that connection and sex, you are going to be able to have a more thriving and flourishing and beautiful empowering relationship than you thought possible.” -Ariel Finlinson 22:38-22:57“To ask ourselves as women "Where did I get my information?" Where did I get this belief that sex is for men, for instance, or that ‘good girls don't,’ right? Many of us have heard through them  years? Where did I get that information? And can I explore something different?” -Dr. Liz Hale 28:44-29:00

    Invites:

    Download Ariel’s free resource, “10 Questions to ask your spouse about Sex”Find a time to discuss with your partner the stereotypes that you believe are affecting your relationship.

    Ariel’s Links:
    Instagram: @ladies.talkinglove
    Website: https://www.ladiestalkinglove.com

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Natasha joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about the struggles that
    women face with feelings of inadequacy and simple tips to overcoming these feelings.

    About Natasha Dansie:
    Natasha offers concrete tips and real life examples of everyday interactions that often lead to
    mothers thinking they aren't enough. Natasha Dansie is a certified family life educator. She has taught relationship education classes through Utah State University for the past 11 years,
    working with a variety of audiences from high school students and retreats for women to
    inmates in the maximum security unit and everything in between. She loves traveling, learning
    and snuggling. Natasha and her husband Jeff are raising their five children ages 7 to 19
    alongside a variety of farm animals in central Utah.

    Insights:

    “It's hard to be grateful and resentful.” -Dr. Liz Hale“Observe and then serve.” -Dr. Dave Schramm“One of the actions that I've personally seen the power of in my own life is the intentional practice of gratitude. So when I feel my stuff, my brain starts slipping into this negative vortex that starts to get dark. And I just have to pause. And when I start practicing gratitude, it's like, I can reverse the effects of that.” -Natasha Dansie

    Invites:

    Find a moment to pause after you have a feeling of inadequacy.If someone shares the way that they are feeling, instead of stating why they shouldn’t be
    feeling that way, validate their feelings by saying something like, “that must be really
    difficult” or “I see how you could feel that way.”

    Natasha’s Links:
    Email: [email protected]
    Instagram: @natashadansie

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Tyler joins Dr. Dave Schramm to talk about the challenges of addiction and shame in
    marriage and the skill set required to overcome addictions with a stronger marriage connection.

    About Tyler Patrick:

    Tyler is a Marriage and Family Therapist has dedicated his career to mastering and
    understanding of recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. He has come to believe
    that the men and women who embrace and live the principles of recovery do far more than get
    their lives back. They become the best kinds of husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. He
    has been married for over 20 years to an incredible woman and as a father to four amazing
    daughters. His hobbies away from work include supporting his children's interests, fly fishing,
    backpacking, and training River, his German Shorthaired Pointer.

    Insights:

    "I'm going to pursue a life where I understand what's going on in my mind and my heart, and
    then choosing to live from that sort of centered, sort of gut place. And then that allows me to
    live my life on, you know, on life's terms, if I'm having a bad moment, I can trust that I have the tools to do that. I can trust that I'm human.” -Tyler Patrick

    “When you have two people who know who they are and can be vulnerable with one another,
    and they choose to be with one another. That's where the deepest levels of connection
    happen.” -Tyler Patrick

    “If you're sitting there listening to this feeling like it's hopeless or it's dark, it's not, your story is not finished. It's just begun and you're sitting on a goldmine if you're willing to do the work.” -Tyler Patrick

    Invites:

    Check out the podcast of Brian and Tyler Sign up for a first free session with Tyler.Talk with your partner about the importance of humility and honesty in your
    relationship.

    Tyler’s Links:

    Website: https://lovestrong.com
    Instagram: @the.wandering.therapist

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dr. Chelom Leavitt, J.D., Ph.D., will explore with Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz how to intentionally slow your mind and body to build awareness and create better connection during sex.

    About Chelom Leavitt:

    Dr. Chelom Leavitt, J.D., Ph.D. teaches in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University. Dr. Leavitt received her Ph.D. from Penn State where she focused her research on how mindfulness is linked to sexual functioning and satisfaction. Dr. Leavitt’s findings have been published in top research journals and books. Her research has helped uncover what couples experience during sex, and what factors contribute to connection. Along with her work in Sexual Mindfulness, Dr. Leavitt hosts interventions that teach couples how to slow down and be more aware and create greater connection during sex. She regularly blogs for Psychology Today as well her website www.chelomleavitt.com, where she shares with readers the latest research on meaningful sex, slowing down to experience greater connection, and being more curious in romantic and sexual relationships. Dr. Chelom Leavitt is married to David Leavitt and they are the parents of nine children.

    Insights:

    Chelom: Slow down, be gentle and be curious.Dave: Media does not portray sex correctly, making time to breathe, slow down, and raise awareness will benefit your relationship in all ways.Liz: Normalizing emotions in our life and bringing awareness can increase our sexual pleasure and lives.

    Invites: •

    Practice the mindful embrace and heads together exercise Chelom discussed with your partner.Start mindfulness exercises. The next time you have 2 minutes of breathing room, sit down, practice how it feels to just breathe and be. Implement this routine more and more into your schedule.Notice what happens when you are physically connecting with your partner. A hug can tell you a lot about how your relationship looks and what you and your partner need.

    Chelom Leavitt Links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexualmindfulnessproject/

    https://www.chelomleavitt.com/

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • On today’s episode of the stronger marriage connection, Dave and Liz with Tammy
    Hill, educator, LMFT, ASSECT, and author discuss how to overcome rejection, desire difference,
    and stale sex. Explore new ways to replenish your partner and build beauty in your sexual
    connection.

    About Tammy Hill:

    Tammy Hill is passionate about strengthening marriage relationships. She is a Licensed
    Marriage and Family Therapist and an active member of the American Association of Sexual
    Educators, Counselors and Therapists (ASSECT). Tammy enjoys being an adjunct faculty
    member at Brigham Young University in the School of Family Life where she teaches hundreds
    of students each semester in Marriage Preparation, Marriage Enhancement and Healthy
    Sexuality in Marriage courses. Tammy owns a private counseling practice where she largely
    works with couples. She has free resources available on her website
    (http://www.tammyhill.com) where she also offers numerous Making Love Retreats,
    Honeymoon Workshops and Dating Bootcamps each year. Published in 2021, Tammy’s first
    book, “God Made Girls and Boys” is a beautiful children’s book addressing agency, gender,
    accountability, and hope in our Heavenly Parent’s eternal plan. Her second book, “Replenish:
    Creating Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage”, was published earlier this year. Most importantly
    Tammy is forever grateful to be a wife, mother and grandmother.

    Insights:

    Tammy: Humans are created with a capacity to have amazing sexual pleasure. Push yourself to
    learn how to replenish each other.

    Dave: Make time to intentionally have sex with your partner.

    Liz: Monogamous does not have to mean monotonous.

    Invites:

    Instead of waiting for your partner to change, recognize the part you play in
    conflict and seek to change it without any guarantee that your partner will do the
    same. You may find that your partner’s response to your change is exactly what you
    hoped.Examine whether there is contempt in your relationship. If you “horibilize” your
    partner by objectifying them and only seeing their faults and their weaknesses, you
    might be guilty of contempt.As yourself, “ If I were to give my whole heart to my partner, what would it occur
    to me to do?”. Be still and then heed that inner call to connect

    Tammy Hill Links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tammy_hill_lmft/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/replenishyourmarriage

    Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5wSW6CZ431e8nJFCVMUyeZ

     

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas. Today, Liz, Dave, and Rex share family traditions, memories of celebrations past, and relationship insights.

    December is a time of celebration for many that include cultural traditions. The holidays can be many things for many people: great joy, chaos, solemn reflection or new beginnings. Join us as we discuss Christmas memories, traditions, and share some tips to help you navigate your relationship during the holidays. 

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Rex joins Dave and Liz today to discuss tips for managing In-laws and family gatherings.

    Relationships with extended family can be tricky or sometimes difficult and anxiety inducing. Dr. John Gottman says, "Every marriage is a cross-cultural experience." Whether we come from similar cultures or not, together we create a brand new culture within our new families. 

    The holidays bring opportunities to spend time with our extended family. Though these gatherings can bring many emotions to the service, here are four tips to help settle in and make the best of the time for you and them.

    Speak Kindly: Speak kindly to your partner about their family and friends. Share concerns or issues with a compassion mindfulness and heart.Get Curious: When you bring an open curiosity to your family gatherings, you can learn things about your extended family, your spouse, and yourself. Being curious also creates the opportunity for bids for connection and leads to relationship building. People love to share stories, likes, and things about themselves. So take a moment to get curious about your extended family and treasure the experience.Lean In: Leaning in creates situations where everyone can be included and participate in a comfortable way. It's a good idea to prepare at least one activity, topic, or item to bring to the gathering that will get everyone wanting to contribute or participate. This could be a simple game, social activity, food or recipe or possibly even a toy of some sort. When the moment arrives, rise to the occasion and lean in.Plan Your Exit: Sometimes we can only contain so much joy at family gathering before problems may arise. Have an exit plan or strategy in place so that you and your spouse can discretely signal each other that you have reached your quota or are ready to go. This can be a fun and relationship building exercise for you and your spouse. Rex shares a strategy and code for "I am ready to go" that he and his wife have developed over their marriage.Avoid Contentious Conversation Topics: It's usually best to avoid discussing religion and politics at social gatherings. And if you have a family member that enjoys sharing advice, listen with a curious mind, but be ready to respond politely. Some examples might be, "That is interesting, I will have to think about that." or "That's a good idea, but we're going to do it this way." or "Thanks, but this seems to be working for us right now."Beware of Criticism: We may be able to tease our own family, but when someone else mentions a criticism it can be triggering. So be respectful and compassionate, and it is probably best to keep critiques to ourselves.

    Keys To A Stronger Marriage Connection:

    Rex - "Never complain, criticize, or mention problems between you and your spouse to family or friends. Keep it between you and your spouse or seek professional counsel"

    Take-aways:

    Liz - "Allow your spouse to have and handle their relationships with others. Don't force them to forgive or just move on. Let them work on the relationships or issues at their pace and in their way."

    Rex - "Get curious. Get curious with people and learn about them. People love to talk about themselves or share things they are interested in. And, have an exit plan so you and your spouse can respect each others comfort zones and so they feel safe."

    Dave - "Practice Compassion and Understanding. Give people the benefit of the doubt and be able to slow down and don't get caught up in the thick of thin things. People are more important than problems."

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Stacy Goulding joins Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss how she is able to help educate youth about reproductive health. She also shares some tips for couples to have positive intimate relationships.

    About Stacy Goulding:

    Stacy is a licensed health educator that has spent the last decade teaching at-risk youth about
    reproductive health. She's passionate about preparing couples for a positive intimate
    relationship in their marriage. She believes everyone deserves comprehensive research based
    information about how the body works. Thus her true intimacy class was created. She's
    currently developing a class for parents to teach kids of all ages about healthy sexuality. She also was a wellness coach specializing in women and postpartum wellness. In addition to teaching Stacy loves cycling, dancing, kayaking, pickleball and classic rock. She resides in Utah with her husband and two sons.

    Insights:

    “And it's really simple. And you can also approach it from, ‘where do babies come from,’ and
    you start small and grow with your kids' development.” -Stacy Goulding

    “I think overall being authentic is really important. It's okay to tell your kid I've never given a sex talk before where I wasn't given the sex talk before or I'm feeling nervous, because this is my first time or I don't want to say it wrong. But you can say those things. And just say, but this is so important, I think it is worth going through the awkward or the uncomfortable to discuss this.” -Stacy Goulding

    "It's not like "Don't do it, it's bad!". It's like "No, sex is amazing when there are proper boundaries and values in place." Especially with teens right now, they want to know "why?". There are not just listening to Mom & Dad said so, they don't care. So giving them the "why?" really matters. "Hey I want you to have this in the future. Let's get there through this healthier and safer path." -Stacy Goulding

    Invites:

    Look at the courses that Stacy has to offer on her website.If you have children, start today by talking positively about their bodies and the ways
    that you show affection with your partner.Learn about consent and how you can implement asking for consent in your relationship
    or marriage.

    Stacy's Links:

    https://stacylyncoaching.com/

    instagram: @stacylyn_coaching

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Laura Parry joins Dr. Dave Schramm to discuss tips that help couples to transition to
    parenthood. Laura shares her insight and experience on how partners can support each other
    during this stressful time.

    About Laura Parry

    Laura holds a Master's of Social Work from the University of Utah, and in 2019 became certified in perinatal mental health. In addition to helping clients through the perinatal period, she enjoys working with those experiencing faith transitions. She earned a clinical yoga certification in 2021 and loves using the healing power of yoga, nature and therapy for clients and for herself. She lives in Lehi with her husband, three kids, two cats, and one dog and loves reading, hiking and playing the piano.

    Insights

    “I would want people to know that your relationship can not just survive, but you can thrive even if there's been a change and relationship and faith in religion.” - Laura Parry“I also want women to know that this is a vulnerable time for them, it can be a hard time,
    obviously, it comes with a lot of excitement and joy to hopefully, but that they're allowed to feel the whole range of emotions that come with a transition as big as having a baby.” -Laura Parry

    Invites

    Check out the resources at rootsbranceswellness.comIf you’re preparing to have a baby, sit down with your partner to talk about the SHRIMP
    acronym and talk about your expectations for when the baby arrives.Learn more about understanding faith transitions by talking with someone who has gone or is going through one.

    Laura's Links

    https://www.rootsbrancheswellness.com

    Instagram: @_lauraparry

     

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Kevin and Racy Parr joining Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their
    experience in a blended family and 28 years of marriage.

    About Kevin & Tracey Parr
    Kevin and Tracy Parr have been married for 28 years and run a business together in St. George,
    UT. They have 3 kids together with two that struggle with mental health illnesses. They have
    years of experience working through differences and the difficulties of re-marriage. Kevin and
    Tracy have been nicknamed “velcro” because of the way they enjoy doing everything together.

    Insights

    “Every now and then we just had to figure that it was okay to completely, totally disagree about something, and table it for a while.” - Kevin Parr 25:57-26:22“I feel that you need to stay connected with your spouse and in all the things that you do.” - Tracy Parr 31:43-32:02“One of the authors we had on recently, Ted Lowe would say this favorite phrase, which I really coined is "I would feel the same way if I were you." Which is probably true, right?” - Dr. Liz Hale 38:33-38:55

    Invites

    Find a new resource; a book, podcast or instagram page that will help you to learn more about what you and your spouse are wanting to work on.In parenting, remember to not take your child’s feeling of sadness or anger as personal attacks against you.

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

  • Ryan Law joins Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to discuss managing money within
    strong marriages. He talks about the importance of assuming the best and the 5 Money Habits
    to financial success.

    About Ryan Law:
    Ryan Law is the Director of the Utah Valley University (UVU) Money Success Center. He is an
    award-winning educator who teaches the Financial Counseling courses as part of the Personal
    Financial Planning program at UVU. Ryan is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional (CFP®)
    and an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®). Ryan is the author of the books, “Student Loan
    Planning,” “Make Positive Changes” and co-editor of the book “Financial Counseling.” Ryan and his wife, Traci, have been married for 24 years and they live in Utah county with their 5 children.

    Insights:

    “I would encourage couples to do two things. First, to not assume bad intent on your spouse's part. And second, to wait until you have all of the facts.” - Ryan Law“Those who give and find a way to give in a way that they both agree to are healthier, happier, and even richer.” -Dr. Liz Hale“Nobody wins really, as soon as it erupts and it becomes emotional when you get defensive and name calling everything you had just doesn't just does not go well” -Dr. Dave Schramm

    Invites:

    Think of an experience when you had wrong assumptions about the way that they spent
    money and think about what you could do differently next time to assume the best.Join Ryan Law’s email list to learn about more tips that will help you to master the money side of your marriage

    Ryan’s Links:

    https://money-marriage.com/

    https://powerpay.org

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

     

  • Kris and Adrian Maiava join Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale to talk about their
    experience in meeting with Dr. Liz Hale. They talk about their experience in coming together
    through therapy and overcoming addiction.

    About Kris and Adrian Maiava:
    Kris and Adrian met in Utah although they grew up in Hawaii and Australia. They share an
    incredible story of working through struggles and addictions, separations and learning to love
    and trust again. After three years in an intensive treatment program, Kris learned things about
    himself and his marriage that changed his life. And Adrian learned patience and experienced
    tremendous growth as she hung on to hope and learned to forgive. Together they have grown
    stronger than ever and enjoy parenting their 5 year old daughter Lola.

    Insights:

    “I guess some questions to ask yourselves as to you know, do you still want to be partners with them, with your significant other? Do you still want to do this with them? If so, if yes. And if they want to as well, then I think it's worth it.” - Kris Maiava“Better choices lead to better chances.” -Dave Schramm“But there was a point in your life where you decided, this is the person that I want to do life
    with. So that should be the person that you offer the most grace to.” -Adrian Maiava

    Invites:

    If you are struggling with addiction, seek outside help.

    Have a 10 minute discussion with your partner about something that is challenging your
    relationship and find a way to overcome it together

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    StrongerMarriage.org
    podcast.strongermarriage.org
    Facebook: StrongerMarriage.org
    Instagram: @strongermarriagelife

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/