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In this episode, we speak with the founder of Pause Breathwork — Samantha Skelly. In her 13 years of Breathwork, she shares about how it all started, the benefits of Breathwork, her past issues with body image and eating disorders, the importance of self-awareness, and being in a relationship as a powerful woman.
[4:16] Pause Breathwork
“The mind has all these limitations and protectors and everything that stops us from expanding into everything that we are… with Breathwork, we’re able to cut through all the noise.”
[5:43] How it Started
“I was struggling really badly with disordered eating, body image issues, and the whole thing; I was doing every sort of mindset hack that I could possibly do.”
[9:34] The Benefits
“We don’t want to give people more than what they can handle... The breath helps us essentially unhook from the mind.”
[13:24] Listening to Ourselves
“So many things are in our world where we think we’re being productive but really it’s just eating away on our soul.”
[15:50] Taking Breaks
“My brain and my body need to relax and that’s okay.”
[19:18] Power and Potential
“It’s so cool once we get out of our own way, how much untapped power and potential we all have.”
[20:53] Body Image
“I overexercise or overeat or restrict; I just keep messing with my food and my body in order to feel good with things.”
[25:00] Awareness
“Awareness is the medicine… It’s not about shaming the needs, but finding different strategies to meet the needs.”
[30:31] The Clients
“There’s a whole range of different people with different desires who uses the App.”
[34:19] Powerful Woman
“It’s going to take a man of equal power but different power to be able to hold you in your greatness.”
[38:24] Powerful Creators
“I’m gonna be patient in this little waiting…Even if it’s not true, we’re gonna make it true, because we create our reality.”
[39:21] Undergoing Breathwork
“The body is gonna give us whatever the body needs to process or heal or awaken in that moment, and our job is just to surrender to the breath.”
Follow Samantha on instagram @samanthaskelly
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In this episode, we are joined by actress, director, and activist, AnnaLynne McCord. We get to chat about her character in the movie “Condition of Return”, how the Uvalde shooting impacted the project, and why we need to take cries for help seriously. She also talks about a time wherein empathy became critical, and why caring for mental health should be started at a young age.
[1:55] The Character
“You can’t judge the villain if you wanna play them truthfully as an actress… This film was a little too real for my comfort level.”
[8:55] Belief Systems
“There’s an invitation within these religious themes for you to use your own brain.”
[15:14] Acting meets Reality
“We went home exhausted after a really emotionally exhausting day… and we turned on the news, and the Uvalde shooting had happened that day.”
[18:15] Disconnection
“Attaching to this belief system so strongly without exercising any personal autonomy whatsoever, that’s when the danger comes in.”
[27:34] Sensationalizing the Shooters
“They feel remarkably invisible, and this is the most visible they could be: they’ll be on a news channel… If they can’t be seen in life, perhaps they’ll be seen in death… Take the public out of it; don’t give them that.”
[31:36] Take the Signs Seriously
“We can assume that these individuals are deeply, deeply in despair… We should be on alert, and we should be aware of that.”
[39:51] Empathy
“We’re not conditioned to feel our emotions, and we’re not conditioned to hold that container for someone else.”
[53:17] Progress
“Think about how long we’ve been trying to have mental health not be stigmatized… It’s something that men are talking about more than they ever have.”
[58:36] Going to the Root
“All the firsts happen early in life… that’s really where it counts.”
[1:07:31] Fully Loved Self
“People who are using problems for their own benefit, they aren’t happy people either.”
[1:20:49] Condition of Return
“The heart and intention and foundation of those things that built this film are so pure and so hopeful to be of service to give value, to not just be entertainment, but to be using the platform that we’re given to talk about something that we feel is important.”
Follow AnnaLynne on instagram @theannalynnemccord
Follow @conditionofreturn
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In this episode, Kelly shares some eye-opening realities in her life recently, questions to ponder about growth and relationships, and the truth about how it’s okay to change our minds and let go. She also talks about making a big decision and exploring new things in the future.
[1:30] Revelations
“I’m doing so many things, but it’s taking away from other objectives that I really want in my life.”
[4:26] Self-assessment
“It’s okay to change your mind… We can have a different perspective and perception on life as well.”
[6:55] Coaching
“We are doing this, we are committed, and we’re gonna stay in this together.”
[8:07] Chaos
“There are times when I’m highly neglecting myself, and I don’t think that that is in alignment with who I wanna be.”
[14:04] Off-loading
“It may not be forever… It is just something that has been on my get-to list every week that I felt some resistance around.”
[16:25] Exploring New Things
“There’s like a part of me that wants to do that and really get myself to be more creative.”
[18:26] Working on Ourselves
“We need to love ourselves more, accept ourselves more, and stop rejecting ourselves.”
Please download, rate & review this episode and share it with friends!Connect with Kelly here:
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In this episode, we chat with intuitive spiritual guide — Jenna Brocious. We talk about being raised by a narcissistic mother, her gift of spiritual guidance, and the fear of replicating generational trauma. We also delve into setting boundaries, expressing clear expectations, and detaching from a negative outcome.
[2:01] Intuitive Spiritual Guide
“It’s such a big responsibility to know everybody’s secret… It’s a cool place to be because I have a superpower that not everybody has.”
[7:30] Childhood
“I was raised by a single mother who is a narcissist, alcoholic, loves the sex, drugs, and rock and roll…My dad was not in the picture ‘til the age of 36… my mom didn’t know who my dad was.”
[11:32] Getting Through It
“The one thing that I can look through my whole life and know helped me was God.
[14:15] Riff in the Family
“My mom denies a lot of it and would not have a conversation with me… My brother and sister thinks it is disrespectful and horrible of me to speak of my mother about my childhood.”
[18:00] Generational Trauma
“When he was 3, I got really mad once, I started screaming… He covered his ears and I instantly just went ‘whoa’ cause that was like what I would do when my mom yelled… It was such a horrible moment in your life to realize that I was doing what my mom does.”
[23:58] Feeling Grounded
“I love it when you hear people actually be who you think they are.”
[30:22] Spiritual Guidance
“It’s so important that we don’t deny ourselves this extra help that we truly all do need… You’ve seen the growth out of yourself that you know it’s all worth it.”
[38:51] Spirituality and Business
“When we’re being our true authentic selves, it wouldn’t be authentic to show up a hundred percent everyday.”
[47:39] Communicating Expectations
“If we all live having more clear expectations around situations, we wouldn’t get ourselves into so many little fluffy situations that we don’t really need to be in.”
[51:54] Detaching from an Outcome
“Whatever we’re focusing on is what we’re actually gonna get… Work on putting out the energy you want to receive, not the lack of having it.”
[1:04:38] How the Universe Works
“I just don’t let anything block me. I’m just like ‘Go with the flow’ and ‘Go with the wind’, but I’m like a very strong sturdy person that doesn’t just get blown easily.”
Follow Jenna on instagram @jennab_spiritual
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In this episode, we speak with Kyra Yang, a certified hypnotherapist that has been responsible for generating MULTI-MILLIONS in new revenue & higher entrepreneurial fulfillment for her clients, through deep mindset work based in neuroscience. We talk about the impact of our subconscious and our childhood to our money mindset, how rewiring our subconscious beliefs will allow us to make more money, and why letting go opens up new opportunities in life and love. She also shares some tools and strategies to improve our money mindset.
[3:23] Hypnosis & Money Mindset Work
“I was like, hold the phone…This is like an actual job? And it was like instantaneously I knew right away that was what I was meant to be doing the rest of my life.”
[10:26] Knowing Your Worth
“There are definitely a handful of people that are willing to pay for your prices and services, and some people may see your prices and think that they’re actually too cheap that it can’t possibly be that good.”
[13:34] Subconscious
“That emotional state will impact our ability to take action, and action is the result that’s going to create our reality…What you believe is what’s available for you.”
[15:37] Changing the Narrative
“Look at the primary stories, realistically if you can remember, primarily from ages 0-7, ‘cause that’s gonna shape how you spend, how you invest, how you save, how you create.”
[19:09] Worthy to More Money
“This is the point where a lot of entrepreneurs almost quit… You’re only gonna create what you think you’re worthy of.”
[29:30] Closing the Worry Tab
“We have all this stuff in the background… but all of these are like leaking energy slowly. “
[34:32] Tools
“This allows so much more space for you to see new opportunities… Through this process, one of my clients, she actually unlocked almost like a million dollars in 30 days.”
[41:26] Subconscious Beliefs
“The only reason why we don’t move forward, it’s kinda like something’s holding you back, is because it’s a subconscious part that’s literally going on for 20, 30, 40 years unconsciously…We’ve been repeating this patterns over and over.”
[53:02] Letting Go
“If you don’t like it, create a different reality… There’s a billion people in this world, there’s so many opportunities… Life always seems to get better.”
[1:01:05] Working Through the Excuse
“Money is a completely neutral resource… It doesn’t have any emotions, but it makes people very emotional.”
[1:10:50] What We Really Want
“Look at that limitation that we’re holding for ourselves… it makes us not go after the things that we want.”
Here are ways to connect with Kyra below:
Join other scaling entrepreneurs scaling to 7 and 8 figures in developing a winning mindset & crush expensive limitations to amplify your success & happiness in 5 minutes a week.
Newsletter: https://kyrasgoodstuff.beehiiv.com/subscribeiam
Free Anxiety tool: https://stan.store/mindsetcurrency
Learn more & apply to work with Kyra: https://generatemindsetcurrency.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamkyrayang/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamkyrayang
Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamkyrayang
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In this episode, we talk about the journey of the show as we celebrate the 100th episode. Kelly talks about being grateful for the show, her creative process for her journal-like podcast, overcoming the fear of suppressing her truth, and reflecting on her volunteering at “Hillside”. She also answers some questions from instagram about life and love.
[0:50] The Message
“That’s the whole thing about what Chaselife with Kelly is; about being curious. It’s about learning, it’s about growing, and it’s about expanding to this next level version of yourself.”
[3:45] Creating Impact
“I don’t care if you have 400 followers you know. It’s like wow, they are creating so much freaking impact and it’s just such a beautiful thing.”
[7:57] The Process
“I’m becoming more diligent and and committed to practicing what I preach because that’s what creates self-trust.”
[9:59] On-going Healing
“We’re never gonna be fully healed, but it’s a beautiful practice to be intentional with yourself and when you give space to tune into yourself and be like: okay, let me bring awareness to this area of my life…”
[12:38] Speaking My Truth
“Me suppressing the thoughts? They keep coming back up because I know deep down in my heart that I need to express myself and not suppress myself. Maybe my podcast feels like a journal…”
[16:30] Birth Month
“It’s not all work, it’s not all chores. We gotta let that inner child play… That’s the beautiful thing about creating play in your life… when you’re in the present moment, everything else fades away.”
[22:38] Volunteer Work
“It was so humbling, very rewarding, and also very interesting to see how some people were not grateful, but so many of them were; and it was so amazing…”
[26:48] Cyclical Patterns
“The ego is trying to keep us safe, and in safety means comfort, and in comfort, it does not mean growth.”
[29:50] Reflecting at Hillside
“I was having so much fun playing with these youths, and it was the most beautiful thing witnessing them have fun; because their life and in their mind, it’s often times not fun”
[33:47] Staying Motivated
“You have to build those healthy habits. You have to stay consistent for a long period of time.”
[38:55] Making Difficult Decisions
“I’m the one who has to be okay with my decision. So when it’s difficult, you just have to cultivate that love and trust within yourself… It’s not going to please other people, but it’s gonna please me.”
[44:04] Biggest Learning
“Bring awareness to every area of your life… You gotta go out, do the actions, and get it. Start to create new beliefs in your subconscious mind.”
[50:41] Mindshifts
“We’re not ready to fully embrace the change and the growth that could happen because we’re afraid that if we change completely, we’re gonna lose something. But isn’t losing something what we need to do in order to gain the thing that we really want?”
[53:26] Saying no to him
“I don’t regret my decision ‘cause there is so much that I’ve learned over these last five years… It was literally the catalyst to my greatest healing and spiritual awakening.”
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In this episode, we are joined by Kelly’s mom for a chit chat about reverse dieting, the “Clean fifteen” and “Dirty dozen”, struggling with anxiety, long and short term relationships, and her thoughts about Kelly being on “Love is blind” and dating.
[2:09] Reverse Dieting
“That gives me flexibility and freedom with the food choices that I make.”
[6:02] Balanced Diet
“If you’re not getting the proper nutrients, and your body doesn’t recognize what you’re eating, then it can’t utilize what you’re eating.”
[7:56] Cleaning up Your Diet
“I started to eat healthy and diet like all women do, which really is not the best thing.”
[15:44] Holistic Journey for Anxiety
“If you’re looking for that perfect life, you’re gonna have a hard time finding it, but are there perfect moments? absolutely.”
[18:56] Mindset to Eat More
“Life is short, I want to have a cookie once in a while… I wanna have something healthy, but something that’s not a Kale chip. What you do 80% of the time and what you do 20% of the time is good enough.”
[25:56] Being Single
“You’re looking for the person’s that’s gonna be there for the long run. Everybody wants their daughter to meet someone, but I’d like it to be the perfect gentleman.”
[31:43] Growing Together and Apart
“That’s a compromise, and we’re okay with that. There’s wiggle room there.”
[42:00] Going on Dates
“Stepping into your power is saying ‘I’m lonely today’… As you get older, you’ll realize what is gonna empower you to self-disclose.”
[46:54] Love is Blind
“That was a goal that she had, and I had to respect it…I just had a feeling that she wouldn’t go through with it because I know my daughter.”
[53:09] Life Advice
“When you get to be my age, you can see that that journey is not as long as it used to be. It’s time to not sweat the small stuff.”
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In this episode, Kelly talks about her recent high school reunion, the success of her comeback on health and life coaching, why not to avoid our feelings, and about grieving in relationships.
[01:23] High School Reunion
“It’s just neat that we’re just older… It’s neat to learn about their careers and what they’ve been up to. It’s very inspiring.”
[3:40] Gratitude
“People wanna feel loved, they wanna feel wanted.”
[6:48] Health and Life Coaching
“I”m back in the game... The app has been amazing.”
[8:04] Repairing Yourself
“You gotta dig deep. You gotta go within yourself and really find out what’s going on.”
[10:31] Grief
“I’ve been grieving a lot these past few months… There are days I feel like really numb and cold to things… then others days I’m like ‘Oh my God, I could cry’.”
[13:23] Suppressed Anger
“Depression is suppressed anger, so if you’re not fully processing anger, it is turning into depression.”
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In this episode, we speak with Nancy Rodriguez from Love is Blind season 3. She speaks about her route to investing on real estate, the impact of the show after filming, reflecting from a backlash, and caring for our mental health. She also talks about the family support in the show, some advice for people who want to start in real estate, Pretty Posh Box, and her future plans.
[2:29] Before Love is Blind
“I just knew that although that was my passion, like truly what I wanted to do as my career, I also had this urgent side of me to wanna do more in the finance side.”
[8:27] Portrayal in Reality Shows
“It really was so much exposure of who we are and who we weren’t anymore. People really get to know us at a very intimate space at that time.”
[15:08] Different Perspectives
“I feel like the perspective that I had when I was on the show was very different from the gap, like the year and a half that we have to wait for the show to actually come out. It was a whole other perspective when I watched it for the first time…I haven’t really talked a lot about these in any of my interviews.”
[18:38] People That Were Hurt
“I won’t be sorry for what I said about my body… The dm’s or the comments that I received got so bad that I had to block words or certain phrases from my social media.”
[23:07] The Takeaway
“You should be having uncomfortable conversations with the people you love, because it will allow you to grow, it will allow you to learn.”
[28:20] Positive Validation
“These are conversations that I would have my heart broken a hundred times over if I knew that I was somehow impacting.”
[29:58] Therapy and Mental Health
“Mental health in general is truly something that we could at least try to learn and discover in ourselves and figure out which way to go about it.”
[36:01] Family Support
“They had doubts, they had concerns, and I just think that I am so proud… they just took it really well.”
[42:09] Friendship and Relationship
“There really was no reason for us to keep in contact… I want to have a partner in my life that I don’t feel like I’m bringing baggage.”
[43:36] Starting On Real Estate
“You got to understand your finances first… You cannot bring on a whole world of business or investment property, even just a home that you wanna live in, if you’re not really in a place where you truly understand.”
[51:07] Making Money
“The power that I had was the knowledge and excitement of ‘I want to keep being debt-free or ‘I want to create more cash flow’.”
[56:30] Content Creating
“The social media world is a whole other ball game, it’s a whole other job, and if you really like it, if you get into it, anybody could be an influencer.”
[1:00:38] Pretty Posh Box
“You rent, you return, and then you repeat… It’s a simple way to have trendy clothes.”
[1:04:11] Manifesting
“I want to be on a stage, talking to students.”
Follow Nancy on instagram @thenancyrodriguez
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In this episode, Kelly talks about putting our best foot forward in anything we do in life, her passion for helping people through coaching, how to stop stressing about our weights, functional medicine, and making better choices for our bodies.
[2:40] The End Goal
“That’s the beautiful thing about anything that we do in life, when you really love what you do for work… you just want to do it because you know that it’s creating impact out there.”
[6:38] Setbacks
“I started to feel depressed… I also knew that there were parts of me that I couldn’t fully show up for them.”
[14:34] Embodying It
“What is the result? It’s actually feeling really good about ourselves, it’s about loving ourselves, it’s about putting boundaries in place to be like ‘No, I love you but I love myself more’.”
[18:00] Feeling Broken
“I was putting so much stress in my body… I had disorder eating and I was excessively working out.”
[21:53] Physical and Spiritual
“It was not only about the physical fitness, it was the spirituality… my relationship with God and universe is beautiful.”
[23:35] Functional Medicine
“Instead of saying ‘I can’t have this’, say things like ‘I don’t do that’. Choose not to, it’s literally a choice.”
[26:28] Health Changes
“Working out less, eating more healthy foods… and I start to lose the weight. I felt better; my body started to relax a bit.”
[29:48] New App
“It’s customized nutrition and workout plans. You will have one-on-one communication with me… It will give you the tool to become the healthiest, happiest version of you.”
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In this episode, we are joined by Mary Fitzgerald Bonnet — real state agent & realtor, vice president of the Oppenheim Group, and a star from the Netflix show “Selling Sunset”. She talks about her career path into Real Estate, her happy marriage with her husband despite their age gap, how to motivate ourselves, what to look forward to on “Selling Sunset”, and some tips for aspiring real estate agents.
[4:45] Real Estate Agent
“I started in radiology… 2008 was when I got my license which is the worst year ever to go into real estate. It’s when the market crashed.”
[8:10] Age Gap
“My first thought was ‘Am I doing something illegal?’… Age really doesn’t matter at the end of the day.”
[12:39] Double Standards
“Why are guys allowed to do that? No one bats an eye when guys get younger girls… If you have the connection and you have two people on the same wavelength, do it.”
[16:14] Making it Work
“We don’t get enough time together, and it’s very frustrating when we struggle from our own jobs and then we don’t get to see our partner.”
[21:11] Showing Up As The Best You
“Especially after my miscarriage… I was so on top of the moon… I need to talk things out, I need to figure out how to look at things from a different perspective.”
[28:33] Selling Sunset: Pros and Cons
“I get new clients, and great clients, from all over the world, because of the show, where people would not normally know who I am.”
[32:50] New Season
“We have two new cast members… Things just started happening, and I was like ‘What’s going on right now? Thought this was just gonna be really fun, and now it’s like totally dramatic’.”
[37:16] Mentor
“She has been incredible in my life. I absolutely adore her. We have a lot of really fun stuff coming up.”
[41:40] Speaking Engagements
“It was the best thing I could have ever done, because it was like face your fears head on. This is something I feel is very important to be able to inspire other people.”
[50:55] Advice
“The best thing you can do, even if it’s lower commission, go to a broker with a mentoring system or become a real estate assistant.”
[53:21] Capitalize on your Life
“That’s kinda cool about life, it’s all like a learning lesson, and it’s never ending.”
Follow Mary on instagram @themarybonnet
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In this episode, we get to chat with Arabelle Yee, a transformational entrepreneur and certified psychotherapist. She talks about shifting from the corporate world into psychotherapy, manifesting money and goals despite the challenges, putting her intention into healing, and her inner and identity work.
[2:07] Getting Started
“My soul had been knocking from within way before that, just saying ‘Arabelle, it’s time for you to move on to something else’, but if you’ve been in the corporate for 10 years, you don’t really know what else you can do.”
[8:58] Career and Business
“I help people to really find their voice, remember who they are, and offer them unlearning.”
[16:23] Breadwinning Women
“I actually help my clients and my community, and some of my team members too, to have that conversation, and really make them see that this is an opportunity… because they’re now having the space to discuss as a couple, as a team, like ‘Where do we go from here?’”
[19:10] Manifesting Money
“To come to that point about us needing to be fully healed in order to manifest money is so flawed; it’s not true.”
[25:14] Healing Journey
“At some point, we all feel really alone… but then I decided to just focus on what I needed to create.”
[29:18] Starting the Course
“I think it was a combination of the energy was there, the trust was there, the aligned action was there; it was just perfect timing. It’s a combination of all of that and I put it out there.”
[38:06] Knowing Your Identity
“If the flow is a good one, flow away. But, if you feel there are bumps in the flow, and if you are feeling like ‘I don’t know if this is actually me’, then I feel, personally, astrologically, right now is the perfect time for us to ask those questions.”
[46:00] Love and Business
“It just shows that your heart is opening up. So when you do meet that person, now you know the capacity of your heart… I apply that same principle and concept in business as well.”
[53:09] Identity Work
“We all have different identities or archetypes within us… I’m choosing to eat this, I’m choosing to wear this, I’m choosing to be around these kind of people, I’m choosing to have these kind of habits, and I’m choosing myself every single day, that’s the identity work.”
[1:05:45] Discernment
“It’s just about following that white rabbit… You just feel it. If there’s no noise, and if you could just remove that noise a little bit, and you just feel into it, then you will know whether you’re supposed to be there or not.”
[1:08:59] Tough Love
“I think we really need to love the parts of ourselves that we think are ugly… sometimes we need tough love who’s gonna tell us ourselves sometimes, like ‘stop’.”
Follow Arabelle on instagram @arabelleyee
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In this episode, we chat with the authors of the New York Times best-seller “Sex Talks” — sex therapist Vanessa, and her supportive husband, Zander. We get to talk about why sex should not be an uncomfortable topic, the “Five Conversations” in their book that could help us talk about sex comfortably and how to apply them, the challenges of female orgasm, and why sex should be a collective effort of both partners, in a relationship or not.
[3:20] The Start
“I think I wanna help people get comfortable talking about sex and especially because once I start having sex, my own lack of conversation in my own sex life was having very negative impacts for me.”
[4:35] Marriage and Career
“I was actually really intimidated and scared because I was like ‘Does this mean I’m gonna have to work on my sex life?’”
[6:48] With Parents
“If I can get my parents to talk about sex, if I can comfortably talk about sex with my parents, I think we can all do this.”
[11:06] Sex Talks
“We came up with these 5 conversations that we really believe are the most essential, crucial ones, that will transform any couple’s relationship.”
[14:38] Conversation One: Acknowledgement
“The mistake that most people make is we don’t talk about sex until something is really bothering us…Your only goal with this conversation is to get comfortable with sex as a topic of conversation.”
[20:39] Faking Orgasms
“I knew how to orgasm on my own, but I could not get there with a partner, and I faked it for so many years.”
[21:37] Conversation Two: Connection
“We think of sex as just this physical act that we do with each other, but the reality is, physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are deeply intertwined with each other. We really can’t experience one without the other.”
[29:56] Conversation Three: Desire
“When it comes to desire, we all have different ways that we’d like…What works for me, doesn’t really work for Vanessa, so it’s a matter of me figuring out what are the little things that I can do.”
[37:38] Orgasm Gap
“The problem is that the way that our bodies are actually wired from a nerve ending standpoint is that intercourse is not actually the most pleasurable thing for a woman… 91% of women said that intercourse is not their favorite.”
[43:56] Conversation Four: Pleasure
“Even if you did find some trick that works really great for your last partner, every woman’s body is different, and that thing that worked great for that one person is probably not gonna work great for the next person you’re with. So it’s like guys, we need to deprogram a lot of that socialization.”
[47:27] Talking To Your Partner
“Your erection is not your sole responsibility. Your partner is here and could help you as well. If you’re taking your time helping her feel good, she can also take her time to help you feel good.”
[53:42] On Casual Relationships
“If you’re with somebody who’s not showing you respect, who does not seem to be that invested in your pleasure, that’s not somebody that deserves to be having sex with you.”
[58:01] Conversation Five: Exploration
“Keeping it spicy, it doesn’t have to be something brand new, it could be just something that you used to do… Just bring back something you’ve done before, or you know you enjoyed it, but you just haven’t done it in a while.”
Follow Vanessa & Xander on instagram @vanessaandxander
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In this episode, we chat with activist, author, poet, educator, and motivational speaker, Najwa Zebian. We talk about the trauma responses of our body and how to heal from them, accepting our past selves, and why holding our emotions is not always the best thing to do. She also talks about how the people we’re surrounded with affect our emotions, changing beliefs about ourselves, letting go of control, and deviating from the “Good girl” personality.
[5:37] Owning Your Journey
“If I didn’t go through that, if I didn’t write those writings in the way that I did, I wouldn’t be who I am today.”
[11:45] Maturity
“You’re always gonna have that story, or those multiple stories you’ve gone through, and you’re gonna have a different perspective, a different take.”
[18:06] Tuning Into Your body
“Your traumatic wounds and your survival, in a way, are intertwined… Many people don’t even know that they have these trapped trauma responses in their body that need to be tuned into.”
[29:19] Fight or Flight
“You think now that that experience has passed, that if you were to go back now, you would do things differently, but the you now is a very different person from who you were back then so don’t judge yourself.”
[34:43] Emotionally-driven
“Sometimes we think it’s very aggressive, but maybe it just really hurt you that much.… If I can’t express to someone that they hurt me in a certain way, that person doesn’t belong in my life.”
[39:39] Power Over Who Hurt You
“You have to re-evaluate having people in your life who you always have to be protecting yourself around… ‘cause really, the people who are gonna be there on the long run are the people who are gonna see you in your weak moments. The right people are not gonna put you in the position where you’d feel like ‘I’ve lost my power’.”
[49:13] Beliefs
“We try to change one ending of our lives…to change that big ending that we believe we will always get to…You have to look at the big beliefs you have about yourself and work on changing them from the root.”
[56:11] Letting Go of Control
“I’ll be okay if I don’t actually achieve something that I’m celebrated for because I can just be… you don’t have to constantly work so hard to keep control of the outcome.”
[1:02:36] Cultural Standards
“I grew up in a very conservative village… All the things I really learned from a very young age is you need to be a good girl.”
[1:07:55] Honoring Healthy Boundaries
“Boundaries are seeing the worth that needs to be protected, as opposed to seeing the threat that’s coming to take something away from you.”
[1:17:32] Ways of Healing
“Your body knows what it needs. All you need to do is to listen to it and start trusting it.”
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In this episode, we chat with Alicia Robertson — founder and CEO of Lemonadelife, author of the Amazon best-selling book Make Lemonade: Thrive Through Divorce by Transforming Your Life, and a motivational speaker. We talk about the dilemmas when going through a divorce, prioritizing ourselves, and why we stay through a relationship despite receiving the bare minimum. She also gives us tips on how to gain confidence after divorce, how to cope with loneliness, and how to determine healthy relationships.
[2:43] The Calling
“I never knew what it was, and I never have imagined it was my own experience through divorce.”
[7:35] Growth Mindset
“I felt like I was losing everything, because my whole identity wasn’t what it meant to be in a partnership.”
[8:56] Losing Yourself
“When you live according to other people’s values, you lose yourself… But figuring what yourself is when you’re there is so hard.”
[13:29] Learning
“It’s really being clear about your expectations, and how you’re going to receive as much as you give, without taking the fun and spontaneity out of it.”
[17:27] Communicating Your Needs
“The easiest way for me to do that is to really have bite size pieces to stay focused on the facts. Is this meeting what is a top 3 needs for me?”
[23:10] Bare Minimum
“Because even if it’s a little hit of pleasure and connection, to my way of thinking then, was better than nothing, and then you start to settle, right?”
[27:24] Isolation
“Women are connectors… so when we go through a breakup, it could really be isolating for us.”
[31:59] Coping with Loneliness
“For me, it was really exploring deeply why that was something that was feeling stuck and fearful to me, and then shifting into what really was an opportunity to create for myself.”
[37:23] Self-Care
“We have to be kind to ourselves, you have no idea who’s sitting beside you. It doesn’t mean that you are less them.”
[41:06] Confidence after Divorce
“When we choose to do these really simple things, the momentum is massive… When we prioritize ourselves, the confidence elevates.”
[48:11] Back To The Dating World
“It’s different for everybody…What is so important is that you know yourself, what you want and have the courage to stand for it, regardless if that person decides that you’re not for them.”
[57:33] Healthy Relationships
“I am still discovering what healthy relationships, healthy love looks like, but honestly it can be boring af, so I don’t know, maybe there’s just no perfect answer.”
[60:08] Starting New
“It’s healthy to grow apart and together…There’s so many interesting and incredible ways to do relationships these days; it’s vulnerable.”
[1:05:06] Pressure
“There’s so much of a stigma… the second I have an opportunity to date, I included my children.”
[1:11:44] Surviving the Divorce
“It doesn’t stay here. It doesn’t stay stuck. There’s absolutely is future that is bright and wonderful.”
Follow Alicia on instagram @lemonadelifecoach
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In this episode, we speak with former Bachelorette Michelle Young — an educator, television personality, speaker, and activist. She tells us about her love for basketball and passion for creating impact, feeling burnout, handling publicity and social media, and being vulnerable. We also talk about how dating life was for her before, during, and after The Bachelorette.
[2:32] Little Background
“I always knew I wanted to make a massive impact. The biggest impact I could as possible; and that’s kind of what led me to where I am now.”
[4:50] Creating Impact
“Now, so many people strive to be an influencer, strive to have that social media presence; that never was the case for me… Social media impact was never my plan.”
[7:02] Burnout
“Nobody talks about the feeling of when you are so passionate but you just can’t mentally do it anymore, or you have to take a step aside.”
[11:45] Keeping Yourself Grounded
“I really could tune that out and put it down. Nobody forces you to be normal like kids do, because chaos continues.”
[14:41] Different Generation
“It has been kind of heartbreaking with watching 5th-graders, and what they know already at this age… They don’t get to be a kid, or what they feel like being a kid is.”
[17:07] Being an Educator
“Even when you step away, that doesn’t mean you just stop caring about it… You definitely go through very uncomfortable moments where you have to learn how to find passion on the other side… I miss it a ton.”
[20:57] Speaking your Story
“My mistakes, my trials, my tribulations, my weak moments, or the things that I thought were weak in my life, really actually do the work and send the biggest message to these other people.”
[25:03] Love and Hate Social Media
“I do see the benefits of social media, in a sense of me being able to reach somebody across the world… The other little pieces like, the drama, the tabloids, and all of that, I could do without.”
[30:13] Being in the Public Eye
“It’s not like this daunting thing, but it’s just something that’s always in the back of your head, and so it does create a little more anxiety with it.”
[33:37] Healthy Boundaries
“You have to be able to say no, because otherwise, you can’t stay true to who you are.”
[44:27] Dating Before The Show
“I think I really just struggled with being vulnerable…I was a very opinionated person and I could debate all day, but when it came to lovey-dovey emotions, my needs, my wants, or what I was struggling with, I’d never talk about it.”
[48:56] Dating on the Show
“When you’re on the show, you really are challenged to talk about the deep sh** right away because time is of the essence.”
[54:50] Lessons for Dating
“I think the biggest piece for me is understanding what I deserve, and not being scared to walk away in a situation where I’m disrespected.”
[56:55] Dreams and Goals
“Someone has to know what their dreams and goals are, and what they’re putting their energy towards.”
Follow Michelle on instagram @michelleyoung
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In this episode, we speak with content creator, model, and writer, Kendra Austin. She talks about “The Realest Oracle”, spirituality, love, battling our identity, the effect of body image on her as a child, and her weight loss journey. We also chat about letting go of toxic people, learning from experiences, being rejected, and her somatic healing experience.
[2:59] The Realest Oracle
“I feel like I created the deck for those people, who are a little bit skeptical or don’t really want to find a new language in order to access spirituality, because they shouldn’t have to.”
[6:20] The Cards
“I also felt that disability, queerness, like all body inclusion, of course people of all different races, be included in the deck because that was all I haven’t seen before.”
[9:16] Defining Love
“Love is a dedicated act, an intention, a practice, and also of course, the challenge.”
[10:56] Echoing Childhood
“People just inherently don’t accept me for these things, and that’s really challenging. It made me feel really small, and wasn’t capable of occupying what I felt at that time, was my purpose.”
[18:11] Diet Culture
“Those were all things that as a little girl, you just imagine…The world is unforgiving for a person that doesn’t look the way that you expect them to, that you feel like would make them deserve of belonging.”
[23:06] The Catalyst to Change
“All these questions are tied to everything you’ve experienced in childhood and you don’t even realize it.”
[29:06] Weight Loss Journey
“It’s so hilarious because I thought I needed to lose weight in order to have the life that I wanted, but in the actual experience of the weight loss, I have to rob myself of the experiences in order to lose the weight.”
[35:40] Transformation
“It is better to truly let them go… I’m so grateful to be in the time of my life where I am finally able to not only see, but reap the reward.”
[43:50] New Experience
“One day you’ll be able to share the story, and say like ‘You know, I was dumb in this way then, I’ll be dumb in a different way soon, but this is the lesson I took from this, and I did it because I was brave’.”
[47:44] Room to Connect
“Because I have that boundary, instead of doing that thing, I was able to see why I was doing that thing, what I was running away from.”
[53:57] Somatic Therapy
“I’ve incorporated those mindful practices into my life, which of course have been so transformative… It is actually wild how long I have been denying this relationship with my body, but also just always defaulting to the intellect.”
[1:04:27] Touched Out
“Have you ever thought the solution is nothing? The power of pause could be very powerful.”
[1:09:14] Space of Resonance
“I’m not seeking hyper-visibility, I’m seeking impact.”
Follow Kendra on instagram @kendramorous
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In this episode, we get to talk with Carlee Nussbaum, a certified nutrition health coach. She tells us about struggling with anxiety from an early age, and how healing herself from emotional eating also got her into coaching people to overcome it. She also gave some tips on how to have a good relationship with food, how to keep our hormones healthy and balanced, and how we should add or eliminate certain foods based on what’s best for our own health.
[4:56] Constant Cycle
“As young as I can remember, and my parents can remember, I struggle with insecurities, weight struggle, social anxiety… It was bad, and I completely lost myself, and it’s interesting because now, it’s the best thing that happened to me.”
[11:27] Healing Yourself
“If anyone out there is wondering if you should get help, get it from as many people as you can because it’s life changing.”
[16:03] Nobody’s Perfect
“I think that’s so important for everyone out there to know too, that all of those people in social media that you see that acts like they’re completely healed, they’re not and they’re just not showing it.“
[18:13] Eating Disorder vs. Disordered Eating
“During that time, I had lost my period, my hair was thinning out completely. It was also when I was extremely depressed; that was impacting it.”
[24:59] Symptoms
“It got to the point where it was like I didn’t look healthy…Instead of shooting for the smaller version of yourself, shoot for the healthier version of yourself.”
[29:17] Wedding Weight
“We always say like ‘Thick and thin; I love you thick and thin.’”
[37:38] Healthy Hormones
“Hormones are crazy, they take over you.”
[44:40] The Right Food for YOUR Diet
“It’s interesting but it’s just crazy how certain foods can do that to you, like foods can just control and help so much which is an amazing thing… there could be a food that you’re eating that’s making you not focus that much.”
[51:17] Healthier Options
“Make things that are still gonna make you feel good, but not restrict yourself, because restricting yourself isn’t the way to go.”
[56:16] Comfort Food
“Figure out what those triggers are… You don’t realize it, but there’s a reason why you’re going to the pantry three times…I think we just lean on food because it’s comforting.”
[1:01:04] Being Good Enough
“No matter how much you work on it, I’ll be totally honest, there’s still days when i’m like ‘is this what I should be doing?’ if I’m self-conscious about it… but everyone has their own timeline too.”
[1:08:02] Consistency
“Some pressure’s good, but I think it’s really important to take that step back.”
Follow Carlee on instagram @clarifywellness
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In this episode, we chat with entrepreneur and former cast member of The Bachelor, Susie C. Evans. We get to chat about the ins and outs of being part of The Bachelor, such as falling in love on set, the role that production plays in building relationships on the show, and dealing with the pressure of being watched, unfiltered. She also talks about her roller-coaster life as an entrepreneur and the importance of pursuing your passion.
[3:01] Nominee
“I just thought it was so ridiculous, the concept of it… I remember saying and thinking ‘I would be horrible and I won’t take it serious’.”
[5:40] The Season’s Bachelor
“I think it’s because I just put so much value on character for men, rather than their looks… so I was just like ‘Okay, we’ll see, we gotta put him through the test’.”
[10:37] The Odds
“I remember they kept asking, ‘Could you fall in love in 2 months?’, and I was like yeah, probably, I’ve done that before, but it’s like totally different on television vs. in the real world…”
[13:12] Curated Match
“I remember seeing things happen and people being excited about things Clayton did for them, and I was like ‘Okay, that was obviously production’, and I remember thinking ‘How are people falling for this? ”
[19:22] Saying No
“It’s frightening not just because what you say could be taken out of context, but because of editing. They could edit you to look a lot of different ways.”
[22:53] Dealing with Pressure
“I remember the influx of people that were messaging me, saying horrible things at first… I remember looking back at myself during that time, and I was in depression for sure.”
[29:04] Social Media Posting
“When you use your platform for something that’s really good, but maybe not as ‘juicy’… then you are like ‘this is a true reflection of my passion and how I like the world to experience life’, and it flops.”
[33:42] Magic in Japan
“It was incredible, it was the best thing I ever could have done.”
[37:02] Work over Dates
“I would love to just have that person magically appear, and they’re like with me for the rest of my life… I just don’t wanna do the dirty work of dating all these guys to find the one.”
[43:04] Dirty Work of an Entrepreneur
“I know we shouldn’t aim to fail, but once you start failing and you realized that ‘Oh I picked myself back up and I got through it’, it teaches you that that’s just a part of the process.”
[53:54] Pursuing Passion
“It doesn’t matter, the views. It matters that you’re doing what you’re passionate about and that you’re aligned with, and like we said, the right thing will fall into place when it’s meant to.”
[59:03] Future Plans
“Right now, I’m just like super open-minded to going down any avenue of video and photo; just kinda see what sticks, and also like where I’m passionate, I think.”
Follow Susie on instagram @susiecevans
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In this episode, Kelly gives us a glimpse of how 2023 is going so far for her, in terms of love, health, and career. She talks about the things she learned from her new job, plans for her business, tips on how to re-energize our health, and how her body work experience made her realize to trust what she feels when it comes to dating.
[2:33] New Job
“We stay when we’re comfortable. Life doesn’t change until we make changes.”
[9:08] Back to Business
“That’s the beauty in being an entrepreneur, is that you get to decide and you get to choose what you want for you.”
[16:02] Fatigue is not Normal
“I’m not a burn-out chic, so I recognize when I need to pull back and scale back, and take care of me, and that’s kind of what I’ve been doing.”
[20:17] Health Check
“What I really liked about progressive medical so far is that they are giving me a treatment plan, which is something I haven’t had.”
[28:25] Healthy Habits
“Walking is wonderful for you; it’s a mind, body, soul connection.”
[30:24] Ending the Cycle
“There’s this core belief down to my gut that says ‘something’s wrong with you, that’s the reason you’re not getting chosen for things or people’.”
[38:35] Not Chasing
“I want a man who is sure about me, because that is the consistent safety that I’m looking for.”
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