Episoder
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the collective for a week of blocked sinks, fake hospital letters, and staff training-day chaos.
First, Susieâs raspberry-peach smoothie turns into a fermented crime scene that takes out the call-centre kitchenette. Then Jeanette commits peak springtime mischief by forging a hospital letter recommending âMorris dancing therapyâ for her grumpy husbandâs dodgy knee. Plus, Mauriceâs 1966 snow-sculpture disaster, and Stanâs drama-teacher mate who sleepwalks into an unwanted performance.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for an episode featuring village newsletters, VHS carnage and a cigarette-based science experiment that absolutely shouldnât be repeated.
First, nine-year-old James âhelpsâ his vicar dad with a community emailâŠ
Then Rebecca admits she turned a brand-new VHS player into a Hot Wheels garage, and let her little brother take the blame.
Plus: Andyâs weapon-grade party-popper cigarettes, and a micro-school teacher with the strangest problem of all.Got a confession? [email protected].uk
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Mangler du episoder?
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Step into the confessional for a special delve into the crypt for this week's episode of Simon Mayo's Confessions!
First: a Devon carnival prank goes full folkâhorror when a lovingly crafted coffin is launched into a river⊠and drifts 20 miles into the local paper. Then a âhelpfulâ sonâinâlaw turns âbingoâ into âstrip clubâ on his motherâinâlawâs phone â with an email to a politician as the punchline.
Plus: a dad accidentally cosplays as a hotshot surgeon (socks included), and a twinâbuggy wisecrack that haunts a marriage.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Collective for a week of stains, spirits and seriously questionable decisions
First up, a gem from the crypt: Soviet-era Ukraine, super-strength homemade vodka, and a flock of geese who get so hammered theyâre mistaken for dead⊠until they reappear very much alive, very naked, and very honky.
Then Richard admits to provoking the Tokoloshi in 1970s South Africa. Mr P's confession involves 15 litres of carpet glue and one blamed child, and Mark & Elaineâs enjoy a driveâthru⊠in an imaginary car.
Got a confession? [email protected].uk -
Landing in your inbox on Good Friday (or whenever youâre brave enough to press play), Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective are back with Parish Notice Board gossip, five-star reviews, and a Not For Broadcast pile that should probably come with protective gloves.First: a wholesome family holiday in Cornwall goes slightly⊠medicinal when a sleep-deprived dad reaches for teething gel in the dark and finds something very much meant for the other end of the baby.Then we head to Venezuela for Missionary Impossible: cockroaches, bug spray, matches, a fireball, and the discovery that âsafety bucketâ can become âflaming waterâ.Plus: canal piracy involving stolen mooring pins, and a Christmas morning rest-home mystery featuring a missing Jane⊠found in the car.Got a confession? [email protected].uk
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Suzi, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for another round of sins, five-star reviews, parish noticeboard gossip⊠and the dreaded Not For Broadcast pile.
First, Tonyâs half-term Lanzarote breakfast goes nuclear when a Tabasco bottle takes a Tom Daley-style dive into the Rice Krispies.
Then Helen, armed with a hospital litre of water and perimenopausal panic, misreads a sign and accidentally storms the gents⊠with a bold new accent.
Plus: We also get an accidental repeat of Jeff's confession, where he get mistaken for a blind man (Father Simon needs to work on his filling system)
And Greenkeeper R attempts naked mowing in SwedenâŠ
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk.
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for another week of packed confessions.
First up Adam relives the three-channel era and, in a strop over Corrie, does the unthinkable⊠and plunges an entire village into a total blackout. Louiseâs Brighton hen-do goes from bubbles to life drawing to accidentally gifting a homeless man cake⊠and a bag full of very questionable sketches.Guaca-mole wages fertiliser-based war on mumâs âsacred ovalâ, and Jay learns why you never, ever feed seagulls near a car park.
If you have a confession send it to [email protected].uk -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for a slightly shorter episode that still delivers three absolute belters â plus Parish Notice Board gossip, five-star reviews, and a heated debate about how on earth you say 'guacamole'.
We first walk down the cold marble steps for a confession from the crypt involving ashes, an urn and a vacuum cleaner.
Then Mr C, a trainee engineer on a deep-water trawler off Greenland, quietly âsortsâ a toilet problem and accidentally creates a floating arctic legend.
Plus: Jonathan, aged nine, proudly parades a âlady-shapedâ inflatable from a den⊠straight into Dadâs allotment.
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk. -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confession Collective for another week of chaos, questionable logic, and tape-speed chat that nobody fully understands (7 and a half IPS, apparently).
First: Claraâs lunchtime ice creams take a horrifying turn when a ârespectfulâ window manoeuvre collides with a cathedral town funeral.
Then Sally relives childhood vengeance as a Cindy-doll disaster ends with an âever so slightâ push into a lily pond⊠and a decades-later Facebook block.
Plus: Alison reports a mystery powder to the police (taste test included), only to discover itâs not what original thought, and Tommy commits the ultimate school photo sin.
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk. -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Suzi, Sister Holly and Brother Matthew for another week of chaos.
First: a 1950s boarding school in Kenya where the boys welcome new UK teachers with the ultimate classroom icebreaker⊠bright green pet snakes, smuggled under shirts and released onto desks.
Then Bobâs Tenerife chip run goes catastrophically windy, ending with paper plates, ketchup, and an accidental Carry On-style moment by the pool.
Plus: Geoff âaccidentallyâ cosplays as blind on the train thanks to reactive sunglasses, a Dayglo lead and a protruding white stick, and Chris launches a full police sting to recover his stolen bike⊠with questionable consequences.
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk. -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the crew for another week of sinful silliness, dubious logic, and a very firm reminder to⊠respect the cupboard.First up, Luke fakes a twisted ankle at his twinsâ birthday bash and âheads to A&Eâ⊠only to limp straight to The Force Awakens, then on to TGI Fridays for a full debrief with âHanâ. Dark side behaviour?Then Seaman Steve wages class war at Cowes Week with a stealthy nuts-and-bolts prank that sends Tarquins into a safety spiral.Plus: Selhurst Park Peteâs mum accidentally unleashes a downhill âsnakeâ of supermarket trolleys, and science teacher Steve cons schoolkids with fake fortune-telling that turns him into Mr G the Psychic.Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk.
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the crew for a week caught between Valentineâs Day love and Friday-the-13th superstition.
First up: Litmus relives the childhood horror of ÂŁ40 Caterpillar boots that âmysteriouslyâ shrank on a seaside stroll in Bray⊠until mum discovers the real culprit still stuffed inside.
Then Janeâs triumphant jeans-buying trip goes spectacularly wrong when a stubborn zip traps her lacy knickers â and she makes a panicked dash that leaves an unforgettable âfreebieâ on the shop floor.
Plus: Cliffâs smart-speaker chaos accidentally orders Blueâs greatest hits, and Rachelâs free Waitrose latte turns into a windy, foamy car-park crime.
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk. -
Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the crew for another week of confession chaos.
Sister Goldenhair attempts a 10-day silent meditation retreat in Thailand⊠only to be derailed by a tree frog, a âhot monkâ, and an unsanctioned breakout into the countryside that ends with a full-blown Karma Chameleon singalong to some very understanding cows.
Then itâs building-surveyor bedlam as Mike accidentally lets a cat into a house with a âhighly strungâ parrot on the loose⊠and makes a bold feather-related decision under pressure.
Plus: Steveâs student-radio brush with The Smiths takes a citrusy turn, and the anonymous agent of East Anglia learns the hard way that mooning colleagues isnât quite âdrawing room mannerâ.
Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].uk.
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Enter the confessional with Simon Mayo for another laugh-out-loud episode of Confessions!
This week, hear Joâs hilariously awkward tale of miscommunication involving "personal effects" that leads to a shocking discovery while cleaning a colleagueâs home. With some very personal photographs inadvertently packaged for a hospital visit, the embarrassment is palpable!
Then, feel the heat as T-Bandit concocts a devious plan to rain on a pesky neighbour's parade, while Windy Miller shares a mortifying school assembly mishap that left everyone in stitches. And finally, donât miss the chaotic escapade of Dean, whose light-hearted joke about a heart attack sends security into a frenzy!
Tune in for unforgettable stories, unexpected twists, and the collective wisdom that only Simon and the crew can offer! Donât forget to share your own confessions at [email protected].uk!
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Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo for another uproarious episode of confessions!
This week, prepare for chaos as Professor Pat Pending shares his tale of friendly intentions gone awry in the bustling streets of Saudi Arabia, leading to a near disaster at a traffic light. Michael has a very ambitious backward confession that reveals how his mischievous cat, Eugene, turned a neighbour's Sunday roast into an unexpected family drama. The Accidental Chef's cringe-inducing culinary blunder will leave you shaking your head in disbelief. Haggis and sour grapes, anyone?Then we meet Anon Stupid, who shares a wild holiday experience in Spain marked by ambitious culinary choices and an outrageous fairground mishap that ends with chaos and shattered spiritsâliterally!
Join in on the laughter, the gasps, and the surprising twists that make each confession a memorable experience!
Got your own tale to share? Send it to [email protected].uk! -
Step into the confessional as Simon Mayo guides you through another hilarious episode of confessions!
This week, join the uproarious antics of Naughty Nobby as he recounts his epic school pranks that spiraled out of control. From mischievous cake-swapping in domestic science class to wreaking havoc on his brother Min Min's Lego city, the laughter never stops.
Plus, hear about the unforeseen consequences of potty training in public that left a lasting impact on one parent. Get ready for cringeworthy moments and crafty schemes that are as relatable as they are entertaining!
Don't forget to share your own confessions at [email protected].uk! -
Step into the confessional as Simon Mayo rings in 2026 with fresh confessions that are sure to tickle your funny bone.
This week, meet the Fate Day Felon, who makes a questionable choice at a summer fate. Prepare for unexpected twists with Riddersâ mix-up on a film set that leaves everyone in stitches. Plus Larry's supermarket debacle leads to an embarrassing misunderstanding and Andrew's cringeworthy hotel tipping experienceâone he won't soon forget!
Expect plenty of hilarity, surprising revelations, and a healthy dose of forgiveness.
Tune in, and donât forget to share your own confessions at [email protected].uk!
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Despite Simon being sick at home the countdown continues. Join Simon Mayo and the Confessional Collective as they dive into part two of the 2025 Top 10 Confessions Countdown!
In this hilarious episode, prepare for a wild ride as we unveil confessions that span from a disastrous wedding encounter involving a Swedish impersonation to the chaos of student social work, a Cluedo cad, a passport mix up âand even a shocking tale of questionable gardening practices!
With plenty of laughter and a few gasps along the way, you wonât want to miss the antics that Max, Jason, Inga, anonymous and Colin have to share.
Shocking, hilarious and jaw-dropping in equal measure..
Tune in, and donât forget, if you have your own confession, send it to [email protected].uk!
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Kick off the new year with a special treat in part one of Simon Mayo's Best of the Confessions Podcast!
Join Simon and the Confessional Collective as they relive the top 10 confessions of 2025. You'll fine 10-6 right here which starts with Tom's unforgettable tale of a drunken mishap at a vegan party. Prepare to laugh as Kevin spills a shocking story from his days as cabin crew, involving a rather unconventional passenger request.
From a horrific sibling prank by Drusilla and Georgeâs unexpected encounter while rowing to Jane's saddle story, each confession is a wild ride!
Tune in for plenty of laughter and maybe even some shocking surprises. Don't forget to send us your own confessions at [email protected].uk!
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Get ready for a jolly good time with Simon Mayoâs Confessions in this festive Christmas Eve special!
Join Simon and the Confessional Collective as they dive into side-splitting confessions, starting with Nick's cheeky tale of chocolate temptation, Ollie shares his Christmas Eve shopping disaster that transforms Waitrose into a hilariously chaotic scene with bouncing cranberries and unexpected guests. Plus, donât miss Jane's uproarious Boxing Day escapade that involves a daring run in nothing but boxers! Itâs a festive blend of laughter, forgiveness, and holiday spirit you wonât want to miss.
Have a confession of your own? Share it with us at [email protected].uk!
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