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*Boom Slam*
I do not have a lot of time, but my job as a reporter is to give news to the public. I do not know how many of you are left . . . These have been some tough times, to say the least. The outbreak started around the time they announced COVID-19. The CDC, Center for Disease Control, implored us all to quarantine so the government leaders of every country could get together and talk about what was happening. They knew they couldn’t hide it for long. They did not want to cause an uproar. So instead, they gave news and media outlets, like mine, fake information regarding “covid”, which was actually the beginning of something much more terrifying -- a pandemic, yes, of apocalyptic proportions. --The zombie virus we know now, not some glorified flu, has taken over much of the world. Countries are torn apart. The few survivors we have left might be tuning onto this broadcast. For you, my devoted listeners and last of humanity, I will share details with you that may help you save what's left of this world, or at least to understand it. I am afraid this will be my last news release. Gathering data was fatal for my health. I was bit.
I was bit by one of the earliest indicators of this virus-- a zombie spider. *spider sound effect* Scientists found zombie spiders, and thought they were cool -- nothing harmful to humans. Just harmful to an insect. A small insect. They could not have predicted the parasitic wasps that could control spiders to grow into something much more massive, but it did. The wasps started spreading. They attached to travelers’ clothes, and got all around the world, till eventually they could control any breed of spider. Additionally, the wasp started evolving at a higher rate than its victims. The wasp eventually took small animals, like dogs and cats. Turning them into mindless entities. This is when scientists alerted the government. However, the public was kept from these findings. All we knew was that our dear pets were starting to get sick and violent. We were given new numbers to call and our pets were corralled and eliminated. Animal activists were appalled and tried to save these animals, but only got bit in the process. They were then eliminated. It should have stopped there. But, it kept spreading.
Everyone who did see what was truly happening was marked as weird, or even crazy. Alex Jones, a known crazed consevrative who often has far right radical ideas, saw it. He announced it. Jones screamed about how the Bible has always been telling us that an apocalypse would happen. He quoted Isaiah 14, which was the story from the Bible that told of Lucifer's fall. Anyone who was sane knew that if Jones thought it, they should probably laugh it off and ignore it. After all this is the same man who thought water was making frogs gay. He got weapons to defend himself. No one actually knows where he is to this day. He ran into the woods to hunker down. Maybe folks like him had the right idea after all. He was right. In the end, just as the Bible said, there was a massive horde of undead soldiers when a group of zombies attacked a national guard unit. The unit lost. From there on, it showed even the military could not protect us.
*boom slam*
The world is pretty much all for one and one for all now. Has been for 5 months. I do not know how to stop this. I have researched and researched. All my findings of curing the zombie virus are null. Zip, zippo. We are doomed, listeners. The only thing I found was the chance to find people who specialize in black magic -- usually Haitians. Their priests are called bokors. If they know how to make a zombie, maybe they know how to undo this mess. I know voodoo seems like a joke, but what other choice do we have? It’s a process called zombification. I know that it involves some type of drugs… It’s a stretch that it would cure this parasite. But, maybe… just maybe. Someone, anyone listening?
*orchestral tension*
Well, if someone is listening. Please, it might be our only ch -
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