Episodes
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Alex Apollonov and Aleksa Vulovic are the co-hosts of the youtube channel Boy_Boy who have built an epic following thanks to their adventures in democracy, civics and capitalism. They share how they snuck into the super secret spy base Pine Gap and the of ramifications of getting caught.
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Celebrating 1,000,000 downloads live in Melbourne at the Malthouse Theatre
This is the show that rips into the news with the the best and brightest including
Charlie Pickering.
Sami Shah.
Kirsty Webeck
Richard Fidler
DJ Andrew McClelland.
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Missing episodes?
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John Delmenico, the editor of The Chaser, joins the podcast to discuss his role and the future of the publication. John shares his journey from dropping out of university to becoming a writer for The Chaser and eventually the editor. He talks about the process of writing satire, the challenges of covering politics, and the need for a fresh approach in 2024. John also discusses the revenue model of The Chaser and his experience as a young leader in the media industry.
John has been writing jokes for The Chaser for ages, and if you're one of those people who are terminally online you certainly would have come across his work on Twitter, as well as his fine headlines and articles.
If you like conversations about media, comedy and the craft of making jokes and business of making money from them, this is a great podcast.
Also John shares his unlikely journey from youth stoke victim to punchline king.
Dan
P.S. Melbourne, we'll see you at the live show at the Malthouse Theatre: https://www.malthousetheatre.com.au/what-s-on/malthouse-outdoor-stage/a-rational-fear/
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๐จ๐ผโโ๏ธ Make show suggestions.
๐ฌ Get a link to the A Rational Fear discord.
If you enjoyed this please drop us a review on Apple podcasts:
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Gโday Fearmongers โ
Thrilled to drop our end of the year special 2023 โ hosted by Peter Dutton. Sorry, we have to for balance or risk jail in 2024.
Itโs been a big year โWeโve performed in Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, and Thursday Island. We won Best Comedy Podcast at the Australian Podcast Awards for the 4th time in a row โ AND we hit 1,000,000 downloads last month so weโre putting on a big show to celebrate:
Itโs at Melbourneโs Malthouse Theatre and the line up is stacked with ARF favourites including Charlie Pickering, Kirsty Webeck, Sami Shah, Dj Andrew McClelland and the man with the most downloads in Australia Richard Fidler.
๐๏ธ Buy a ticket now before theyโre all sold out.
THANKS RรDE
Thanks to our friends at RรDE Microphones for hooking Lewis Hobba with a brand new RรDEecaster Duo. If you ever think about starting your own podcast or even if you have to do zoom calls from home, itโs worth the investment in some RรDE gear of your own! Buy yours here.
Thanks to everyone who came to gigs, downloaded the show, told their friends about the show, shared on social media, to our Patreon supporters who pay for the show, and to all the comedians, guests and experts who join us, Jacob Round on the teppanyaki timeline โ and a special thanks to my love, Kate Holdsworth, who relentlessly writes some of the best jokes for the show when Iโm in a panic, and happily endorses this stupid hobby even if it means writing emails in the holidays.
Happy New Fear everyone!
Cheers,
Dan
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It's tricky times to be a satirical comedian on the world stage right now.
The world is full of sad things, but it's a comedians job to find the catharsis in the contemporary anxiety.
One comedian who is doing that on the toughest of subjects is Matt Lieb.
A progressive jewish person Matt has created online sarcastic persona of the Liberal Zionist who attempts to justify the scale of violence being unleashed upon civilians in Gaza.
Matt Lieb discusses his use of humour in addressing the Israel-Palestine conflict and the risks involved in speaking out.
He highlights the challenges of navigating the minefield of criticising Israel and the consequences that individuals face for expressing their opinions. Matt also shares his experiences as a Jewish comedian and the different perspectives he brings to his comedy.
Throughout the conversation, Matt emphasises the importance of separating criticism of the Israeli government from anti-Semitism and the need for open and honest dialogue on the topic.
The conversation covers various aspects of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, including language use, the perspective of Israeli comedians, the impossible situation faced by Israelis, the lack of hope for peace, imagining alternative solutions, and the role of comedy in discussing sensitive topics.
Follow Matt Lieb's work:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mattliebjokes/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/mattlieb
It was a super interesting conversation. Speaking of conversations. Richard Fidler from the most downloaded podcast in Australia, โCONVERSATIONSโ is joining us for our 1,000,000th download live show which is on sale now.
A Rational Fear is turning 1,000,000 in downloads. Buy a ticket to our 1,000,000th download live show here:
https://www.malthousetheatre.com.au/tickets/malthouse-outdoor-stage/a-rational-fear/
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If you enjoyed this please drop us a review on Apple podcasts:
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In this conversation, Dan and Lewis interview Wendy Harmer, a comedy legend and former radio host. They discuss the evolution of comedy and radio, the impact of commercial radio, memorable interactions with radio management, and unconventional radio stunts. Wendy shares stories from her time on The Morning Crew and reflects on the cultural significance of the show. They also discuss the changing media landscape and the success of radio hosts like Kyle and Jackie O. Overall, the conversation highlights the unique and influential role of radio in the comedy industry.
Takeaways
Radio has played a significant role in the evolution of comedy, providing a platform for comedians to showcase their talent and reach a wide audience.Commercial radio has undergone significant changes over the years, with comedians becoming a staple on radio shows and management often lacking experience in the medium.Unconventional radio stunts and promotions have been a hallmark of the industry, with hosts often pushing boundaries to engage listeners and boost ratings.Wendy Harmer's time on The Morning Crew was culturally significant, as she brought a female perspective to radio and helped redefine the role of women in the industry.The media landscape has changed dramatically, with the rise of social media and digital platforms providing new avenues for content creation and consumption.A Rational Fear is turning 1,000,000 in downloads. Buy a ticket to our 1,000,000th download live show here:
https://www.malthousetheatre.com.au/tickets/malthouse-outdoor-stage/a-rational-fear/
Chapters
00:00
Introduction and One Millionth Download Show
02:25
Introducing Wendy Harmer
03:05
The Evolution of Comedy and Radio
05:01
Capturing the Comedy Community
08:07
Finding Your Tribe in Comedy
09:08
The Impact of Commercial Radio
10:10
Memorable Interactions in Radio
12:39
Unconventional Radio Stunts
17:30
The Influence of Radio Management
19:16
The Dash for Cash and Other Stunts
21:53
The Origin of 'Two Strangers and a Wedding'
23:45
The Cultural Significance of The Morning Crew
30:32
The Impact of Wendy Harmer's Radio Career
33:36
The Changing Landscape of Media
36:06
The Success of Kyle and Jackie O
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Lewis and Dan catch up after winning the Best Comedy Podcast at the Australian Podcast Awards.
Come see the 1,000,000th download show at the Malthouse Theatre February 1st
TICKETS https://www.malthousetheatre.com.au/tickets/malthouse-outdoor-stage/a-rational-fear
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If you enjoyed this please drop us a review on Apple podcasts:
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BONUS SPECIAL: A Rational Conversation.
This is the story of how Grace Tame and Camilla Cleese became best friends.
It's a wonderful story of resilience, vulnerability, creativity, comedy and the last supper.
IMAGE LINK: Grace Tame's Last Supper Picture.
https://twitter.com/johncleese/status/928316728278421512
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If you enjoyed this please drop us a review on Apple podcasts:
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NEWS FIGHTERS PODCAST
This month on News Fighters host Dylan Behan takes an in-depth look at the 2023 โGoldilocksโ Budget. Somehow treasurer Jim Chalmers and Labor have lucked out with a once-in-15-year surplus, but can they use it to help those out in the cold while not overheating the economy with inflation? Meanwhile Peter Dutton and the coalition argue that instead of giving a tiny increase to welfare recipients, this money would be better used to fund holidays and the mining industry.
TRANSCRIPTION
Jim Chalmers 00:01
This is News Fighters, where we fight the news so you don't have to.
Dylan Behan 00:10
Yes welcome to episode 123 of news fighters from May 2023. News fighters, chase the vibes. I'm Dylan Bay and you might know me from A Rational fear as being the onstage Hobbit DJ guy and occasional wacky clips merchant and I'm here with the biggest news story of the week.
Journalist 00:27
It's budget night and we'll see something we haven't in 15 years.
Dylan Behan 00:31
Yes, that's right for the first time in 15 years. Is it Michael Jackson back from the dead and live in concert? Or is it Kevin Rudd? Not a laughingstock? Oh, perhaps it's a livable apartment in Sydney for under $600,000? No, of course they were talking about the first
Jim Chalmers 00:46
budget surplus in 15 years.
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๐๏ธ SEE OUR LIVE SHOW: https://comedy.com.au/tour/a-rational-fear-live/G'day Fearmongers,Last night at an industry dinner on the Gold Coast I was having a joke with some British TV producers about the Coronation. I was gently mocking the ceremony for how everything about it was modern and progressive.
Or at least I thought I was gently mocking.
From the magic stone seat, to the 500 year old spoon, to the oil from a duck, to the hand of God picking one man to rule over a whole bunch of people who have no say in the matter.
All the Australians at the table laughed.The English producers shuffled uncomfortably and one said "But we do it well, don't we."
To which all the Australians felt the discomfort and politely agreed that England does do pomp and circumstance very well.
I added that Harry Potter was also done very well, took my drink and left.So โ Happy Coronation Weekend to those who celebrate.
On the podcast this week we have some great fearmongers.
๐โโ๏ธAustralian Athletic Legend, Erchana Murray-Bartlet.
๐ Comedian and broadcaster, Craig Quartermaine
๐จ Former vaper, Lewis Hobba.
๐ธPersephone Fraser from Australian EthicalWe cover the Coronation, Beetaloo Basin, Vaping, the AI coup, and the Budget.
We're taking a few weeks off the podcast, but we'll be putting the odd video out on Patreon.
Next week on the feed you'll hear from News Fighters.
Cheers
Dan
Department of Disinterest
Reserve Bank Australia
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Heading into the election your support is going to be more crucial than ever!Thank you FEARMONGERS!If you enjoyed this please drop us a review on Apple podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/a-rational-fear/id522303261
Voice Over 00:00
This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical.
Dan Ilic 00:03
Good evening Lewis to the season finale of irrational fear for the beginning of 2023.
Lewis Hobba 00:09
Hey rip to the longest running Australian podcast in history.
Dan Ilic 00:18
You know, Michelle Laurie put on Facebook that her little True Crime podcast has hit 63 million downloads and she said the post I don't know what these numbers mean, but you know what may give it what you will or like, Well, we're about to hit a million after 10 years so well that
Lewis Hobba 00:36
seems like you're doing great. True crime would have been a much better choice it
Dan Ilic 00:41
Yeah, I know. We made a joke a few weeks ago about Mark fino going to create crimes to cover those crimes for his podcast, but it does sound lucrative you know, when you think about
Lewis Hobba 00:51
I think that's what we should be looking into next season one of us should die, then I'm just gonna beat the hell out you can be like, this. This year is irrational fear is all about the roving. Louis dying. Yeah,
Dan Ilic 01:06
look, we can't do the show without our Patreon supporters. A big thank you to Nick and Gary, who signed up this week to Patreon Nick was already supported, but he upped their support to $100 a year. Thank you, Nick. That's really great. I'm hoping that Patreon grows by about 100 supporters over the next few months because we want to bring on an assistant to do things like publishing and booking and murdering you get the podcast first it comes ad free. You get to see video works in progress. You get discounts to our live shows, you're gonna get to ask questions when we've got a big interview. Also, you get access to the discord, which is kind of like a chat group of very online fans of the podcast who will all make jokes about climate and politics all day long. It's quite a very nice place to be online. So go to patreon.com forward slash irrational fear. I'm recording my end of irrational fear on the land of the younger man people. Sovereignty was never said we need a treaty. Let's start the show.
Robbie McGreggor 01:59
The following program contains medium coarse language and traces of nuts. A rational fear recommends listening by immature audiences. Comedians experts sloughing at the world as it burns down around. This is a rational fear.
Dan Ilic 02:23
Tonight the Writers Guild of America has gone on strike claiming they cannot be expected to make a living in their current destitute conditions fit for an Australian writer and Russia alleges Ukraine tried to assassinate Vladimir Putin after drones attacked his residence at the Kremlin. Putin says this time it's personal and Buckingham Palace prepares the monarchy for modernity with a coronation ceremony that involves a magic stone oil from a duck 1000 year old spoon reading from ancient texts and a belief that one man was chosen by God to rule over 70 million people in a very specific geography. It's the fifth of May and this is the podcast the last of the most depressing news. This is irrational fear
Robbie McGreggor 03:03
is a rational fear.
Dan Ilic 03:16
Welcome to irrational fear. I'm your host former 45 franchisee Jane Ilitch and this is the podcast that takes the saddest years it gives them a little tickle. Let's meet our fear mongers. Here's the smart asses smartass who's worked out why Melbourne audiences laugh a little differently from radio and the telly. It's Craig Quartermaine. Craig, welcome. Again,
Craig Quartermaine 03:35
thank you for remembering my interest. Yeah, you're welcome. What's up? What's up with Melbourne audiences? Why do they laugh differently? Nothing. I mean, I'd love a good circle jerk where no one actually gets off otherwise known as the Melbourne Comedy fest.
Dan Ilic 03:50
And at the start of this year, she completed 150 consecutive marathons in a row to help save endangered animals, which is much easier than my goal of eating 150 endangered animals in a row. It's a Erchana Murray Bartlett Erchana . You. You've done it. You did it at the beginning of the year. Well done. Have you recovered yet?
Erchana Murray Bartlett 04:07
I'm here. I just woke up for four months now.
Dan Ilic 04:10
You've been hibernation?
Erchana Murray Bartlett 04:11
Yeah. Yeah. I've been eating and sleeping since the January the 16th. That's all I've been doing.
Dan Ilic 04:18
And it's the man who refuses to have 150 of anything. It's Louis Hobba.
Lewis Hobba 04:24
That is True. I remain destitute, ancient. But you know, I'm still here. That's not true. We have 150 episodes of this never ending podcast.
Dan Ilic 04:36
Oh, yeah, that's true. We've probably coming up to 150 a third.
Erchana Murray Bartlett 04:40
Congratulations. That's a huge
Dan Ilic 04:43
actually, I believe I believe we're up to 189 so we we are well past we're well past
Craig Quartermaine 04:48
they said it wouldn't they me said it wouldn't
Dan Ilic 04:54
break quarterback.
Craig Quartermaine 04:57
That's No, that's a huge. All jokes aside. That is Actually, which is gonna be the original name of the podcast. It was actually a huge effort guys so well.
Dan Ilic 05:07
Coming up later we're gonna be chatting with Persephone Fraser from Australian ethical. We'll ask her how ethical the federal budget is shaping up to be. But first here is a message from this week's sponsor.
ABC News Presenter 05:18
My dear, loyal and disloyal subjects. This forthcoming weekend is finally my coronation. In a move to modernize the monarchy, I'm advising all of you to swear allegiance to Me, King Charles, and in a very progressive move. I King Charles invites you to choose your own swear words to do just that. Some of my personal favorites include but are not limited to Dick, numpty, waffle waffle, fuck, a personal favorite of mine, fop doodle get Zooks and of course, Harry, Megan, and Andrew. Any of these are enough to get you started. So feel free to mix and match. If for example, All Hail his royal wiffle waffle fucking King Charles or Harold His Highness the FOP doodle numpty Andrew dick, King Charles, so this weekend raised around the world. May you all enjoy swearing at me while I'm being sworn in? In a very progressive in modern way. You fucking peasants.
Dan Ilic 06:35
Yes, well done. Thank you, Prince Charles. Oh, King Charles. So nice. So nice to have your company. This week's first fear. The Northern Territory Government says it is satisfied that the recommendations of an independent inquiry into fracking have been met. Well, if the Northern Territory Government says it's fine, then I guess it's fine. Let the once in a generation methane extraction begin. Yes, critics say that it is simply insanity to do such a thing in a climate crisis. But the chief minister dismissed the critics as a bunch of cynic saying hey, let's turn methane into us thing and then went on to suggest that the opening the largest ever fossil fuel development, living memory is going to help the transition away from fossil fuels. fear mongers, how will this event help us transition away from fossil fuels? Craig,
Craig Quartermaine 07:22
I live in Queensland, my neighbors have the Confederate flag on the back of the EU. There is every time I feel like Queensland is backwards than I remembered. I lived in the Northern Territory for three years. And none of these really shocks me I'm actually more impressive fracking and not just kind of shooting the ground. It's so think about how corrupt the largest states are. And they and their governments and the state governments in the territory. Legit these dudes talk over the back fence to each other. It's that small time I was an actual journalist up there. It's hilarious how these deals get done. And yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if there was just a few captains involved in these deals that are enabling this stuff to happen. It's not as cloak and dagger. As as it should be. But then why people figured out you need water. It'll, it'll be fine. It will tell the turn around.
Dan Ilic 08:24
See honestly thing like it's just it's bloke hanging out at the fence going oh, yeah, give you give you a few beers for a few billion dollars with a desk.
Craig Quartermaine 08:31
It was these super intelligent. People just outsmarted us. And you know, you made a conspiracy theorist. And then they think that it's all complicated man that they're doing all this backdoor deals. No, it's really not that complicated. But it's so blatant that it's insulting. And unfortunately, out there. Yeah, there's not a lot of backlash. I did see a lot of vision to the people protesting along the fences, still shocked that the Australian police know how to keep people off land like that. Is where did they get that training?
Dan Ilic 09:06
It's incredible. Like the activists have said that basically, there's a whole bunch of recommendations that the government has completely ignored, including a recommendation that requires the government's ensure there'd be no net increase in lifecycle greenhouse gas emissions in Australia, from gas projects from the beetaloo, which is kind of the big one, you'll you want to frack gas. But the recommendation say, Hey, you can't really increase any greenhouse gas emissions. And the government's come out to say, yeah, now we've, we've met that recommendation. It doesn't kind of
Craig Quartermaine 09:39
not a single one of the recommendations is frankly, not a single one of them. It's um, yeah, it is. It's embarrassing how blind it is. But when states is backwards is Queensland and wy stock going grain. That is when someone felt like the Northern Territory will be like what led Hey, let's let's put that in stuff that'd be awesome uh, you
Dan Ilic 10:02
reckon that the territories getting in before the full Queensland get their get their regulations that
Craig Quartermaine 10:09
it's so hard to tell like, you go back to the last federal election. They call in US grains land up here? Because it is they do in Victoria.
Dan Ilic 10:18
I'm broadcasting from Greenwich right now. It's wonderful.
Craig Quartermaine 10:23
Yeah, when you said you can bear Yeah, I don't know, man. I wish I had the answers. But it's the when you have rivers that bubble? Yeah. Kind of like that. I just went with project. It's odd, and I am drinking sparkling water.
Lewis Hobba 10:38
That's the fanciest con Craig. I think what you're forgetting is that when you go to a restaurant, what are you what are you feeling like you want to treat yourself? You get that water bublik and the Northern Territory Government is just saying, We're turning mount Franklin into Perrier and all.
Dan Ilic 10:57
This is a perfect campaign. This is wonderful. Akana Would you ever run for Perrier bubbling water from Northern Territory?
Erchana Murray Bartlett 11:03
I wouldn't mind I don't know how running with a stomach full of bubbles fares. But no having been on the extreme side or environmental activism. I literally ran 6300 kilometers for the climate debate. I think when you hear stories like this coming forward, you just think I might just have a big cup of nihilism and go back to bed. So you didn't run enough to run 100 marathons? I'm sure. I think it's only 3000 Kay's to this to this area that's being fracked. So I don't know, I'll put my shoes on and I'll get going.
Lewis Hobba 11:41
Yeah, no, it'll there'll be nothing there. By the time you make it. Unfortunately.
Erchana Murray Bartlett 11:44
Just probably water. I'll be fine.
Dan Ilic 11:47
David pokok tweeted that emissions from the beetaloo Basin are about the same as the emissions from all of 140 years of Australia's domestic flights. Isn't that isn't that a wild metric?
Lewis Hobba 11:58
I hang on. Yeah.
Craig Quartermaine 12:00
Do you care the first 10 or so? Yes.
Lewis Hobba 12:03
The Wright brothers were chugging out that many emissions.
Dan Ilic 12:06
Yeah, well, the Wright Brothers, they're in a different market weren't there? They weren't in Australia, domestic domestic flights. I'm really concerned that this beetaloo decision means we'll see an exponential increase in Christopher bone and Tanya Plibersek saying how environmentalist stick they are I think that's going to be you
Craig Quartermaine 12:21
leave 10 years name out your mouth we go way back that's my that's my original crush. Just don't tell me she's some good politicians in my world and Tanya was top of the list
Dan Ilic 12:39
I drive past her office many days and there's a quite a while
Lewis Hobba 12:47
put out that IVR and they're like, come on. Craig. There's a
Dan Ilic 12:49
there's a billboard space there. Right opposite or office that you know, clearly a lot of green activists have eyes on because every time I drive passes a brand new deer Tanya poster there and you know, someone who's had billboard experience, I really understand that that billboard space that's very valuable, valuable activism space there.
Lewis Hobba 13:08
Can the federal government stop this from happening?
Craig Quartermaine 13:10
Well, there's a thing with a lot of, like you said, the territory, they don't have their own self governance. And so yeah, this is a federal fuckup. And it's not unlike what it's like when the intervention happened. You know, whose fault it is, but then everybody can actually just pull it off and say, Now, it's not our decision that says and it's just this horrible, but it's considered such a small market. This gas companies obviously paying the right people to not be halted. It's just not. It's just not causing. Somebody tried to mined for coal seam gas in Margaret River under a bunch of vineyards maybe 10 years ago. Guess what happened to that? There? The road people were able to stop it.
Lewis Hobba 13:58
Oh, have you considered planting some wine in the beetaloo Basin?
Craig Quartermaine 14:04
I tried some Queensland wine. I haven't. Anyway, that's
Robbie McGreggor 14:11
rational.
ABC News Presenter 14:12
Fracking will go ahead and the beetaloo Basin, the government admits that it won't be able to deal with the emissions from the actual burning of gas for energy.
NT Chief Minister Natasha Fyles 14:21
Now is the time for the Northern Territory to provide the energy that the world needs to transition to renewable energies.
Dan Ilic 14:31
This week second fear the vape debate Mark Butler health minister is cracking down on vapes. Some say it's a political decision claiming that the minister is in the pocket of big dork and is running a very real risk of getting a wedgie from the cool lobby. Under the new regulation. vapes are going to need a prescription they're going to be sold in a pharmacy they're gonna have pharmaceutical like packaging, certain flavors and colors will be banned, or single use. vapes will also be banned fear mongers, what do you think about these new vape regulations? Akana
Erchana Murray Bartlett 14:58
I think as a nonsmoker can't be swell really fascinates me. I didn't actually realize you could get so many flavors so I can 100% see why we have a youth substance abuse issue because you can get strawberry custard, raspberry vanilla. I think personally though, I'd 100% go with, like the minty fresh flavor is you know you so you see that real scary moment when you're hidden away in your bedroom having a secret a diary, and you can get your foot in the driveway and you just have to quickly frantically find a tic tac and wave the smoke out the window.
Dan Ilic 15:31
And your mom comes in says Why does it smell like Listerine? And?
Erchana Murray Bartlett 15:35
Yeah, you don't have to worry about that. It's just this beautiful air freshener flavor. No full disclosure, though I was not really trendy enough in high school to get onto the cigarette trend. The only trend I really got behind was one that probably should face the same regulatory treatment as vaping is getting now. And that was saying yes, every time my kids asked me if I wanted to supersize my Big Mac meal. It is healthier to have a vanilla custard baby or kilo of fries and a liter of coke. So I think it needs to be done. I think personally having you know, a generation of teenagers or even younger, I hear the issue in primary schools addicted to nicotine and who else? I mean, I don't even know what is else's in vapes. I think it I think it is something that needs to be cracked down on. So,
Dan Ilic 16:27
Louis, we've previously openly mocked you on this podcast for your vaping Are you currently are you currently stocking up on your favorite bubblegum flavor?
Lewis Hobba 16:36
Do you know that cuz I'm not really vaping anymore. I went sorry, hypnotherapist and he got me off the vape train really? Well. Yeah.
Dan Ilic 16:45
So you now on the watch train. Especially not to giggle
Erchana Murray Bartlett 16:54
Do you have a favorite go to face?
Lewis Hobba 16:57
I was mean nothing but start to finish. I love I love having fresh breath. That's really just, it was just a jellybeans. But I was horrendously addicted to. I look I do. I the last time they threatened to bring in these regulations when they were like, Oh, we're gonna make a prescription. I did a huge buy up out of the states and got I got a full shipment in PrEP. PrEP is ready. Yeah. And then then my partner got pregnant and we, you know, very solid money,
Dan Ilic 17:29
went down to the local primary school and sold it all and
Lewis Hobba 17:33
we made it. Bought a house in Pied Piper. The best decision I ever made. That night. This time I'm personally happy like I do, the less I can be tempted the better for me personally. But I do think that just given the two topics we're looking at back to back here, how many more kids will die from fracking, the beetaloo base and then letting them have a little Viper life in the shelter sheds? You don't I mean? Like the amount of time and effort we are dedicated to vote and look, I'm not like it is so crazily addicted, I'd smoke before I ate. And I would say vaping was 1000 times more addictive than smoking.
Dan Ilic 18:15
Vaping would be a climate anxiety coping mechanism.
Lewis Hobba 18:19
I mean, that sounds good enough for me to justify a yes. No, but like I all I mean is just like, in a how many people how many kids are going to die? They get a die from the climate. Like before the fight even touches the side. Do you think we could let them have a little fun? Let them have a good 10 years old when it goes down? Five, they'll give five? No, honestly, like unless they brought plan to become professional athletes in the next five years. Let them fade.
Dan Ilic 18:56
Are you are you? Are you excited about getting a prescription Louis and getting your first vape from a farmer pharmacist.
Lewis Hobba 19:02
I honestly could never as soon as Dominic ParaType admitted that he vaped my desire down about 50% I was like look at that door. And then as soon as they were like, Oh, you'll have to go to your doctor. I was like I could never look my doctor in the eye and ask her a vape I'd rather look her in the eye and say I think I've got got her face, then say give me a vape prescription and what an awful shameful thing to have to say to an adult because it was cool up until then. It was fun up until then. I'm not saying it was cool, but it was fun. You know, it was just a couple of us getting together trying something new. There's no
Craig Quartermaine 19:44
logical reason to do it. I just wish these grown adults who they were just like, I like thinking I'm a dragon. That's all it is. There's no deeper thought.
Lewis Hobba 19:57
But the reality is that all this will mean is that if they do stop selling them in Canadian stores, which I don't think they will, but even if they do, it'll just go back to what it was when vape started like three years ago, which is just the same as cocaine, you have a guy's number, it takes him he comes out of the house, he drops off 10 vapes, like, that's what was happening in most places around the country before they were readily available. Excuse
Craig Quartermaine 20:21
me, someone who could afford cocaine.
Lewis Hobba 20:25
This is what I read.
Dan Ilic 20:26
When you're when you're running down those highways and you're breathing in those fumes. Was that like, vaping?
Erchana Murray Bartlett 20:31
Yeah, it wasn't it wasn't raspberry vanilla flavored, but it was it was similar. Got the same effects.
Dan Ilic 20:36
It was 98 octane.
Lewis Hobba 20:38
It was fantastic. They had diesel. I'd give it a go.
Craig Quartermaine 20:42
I've never smoked, because I was born after 1980. Was the the vibe is this hit the same?
Lewis Hobba 20:50
Partly I think it's more addictive just because of the social stigma isn't there? Like you can't like smoke inside anymore. You know what I mean? Like, you can't just sit around in your bedroom and smoke. Whereas everyone I know who vapes vapes indoors they've opened the toilet they in their bedroom, like the just the frequency that you can do. It is so extreme that you end up just having like I would when I smoked cigarettes, it was like, once a couple of like, every few days, like I wasn't like a pack a day smoker. I just like to have a cigarette every now and again. But then as soon as I started vaping I'm just like, well, I can do this anywhere. Like there was a time where people were just vaping openly in the office at my work. Like it was like we were mad men for like six months before people were like, Oh, this is really bad. Wow.
Craig Quartermaine 21:33
Vaping in the greenroom at a comedy club. I they're just the way people pretend like it doesn't have a sense that it doesn't make the air shitty. Again, anyone who's shared a green room with me no is it doesn't take much to get on my desk it's all bad quarter. Yeah. All the all the nearly every comedian smokes cigarettes. And then yeah, once it was vaping, like you said everyone was in agreement that the tightest space within the whole club, everyone was just it was like going back in time.
Lewis Hobba 22:09
If you have anxiety, there's a 99% chance you that. And it doesn't help it makes it significantly.
Dan Ilic 22:18
In such a small room, it would have looked like one of those great COVID simulations they have on the news, you know, we're catching people.
Craig Quartermaine 22:25
Unfortunately, a lot of Canadians don't believe that happened.
Robbie McGreggor 22:30
Your fear is rational.
Dan Ilic 22:34
This week's third fear it's all over AI is now in charge. A Google AI developer has left the company this week. So he could talk publicly about how the computers are going to destroy us all. And we don't have much choice about it. He's done a bunch of press over the last few days, saying that AI is soon going to be smarter than us and when it is we are well fucked. fear mongers. Does it concern you at all that AI is going to be smarter than us?
Erchana Murray Bartlett 22:56
I have a question. Yeah, what's gonna kill us? First off the back of our lost to the lock lock?
Dan Ilic 23:02
Basin? Bing, or Google Assistant? Yeah,
Lewis Hobba 23:06
exactly. Well, Google Assistant will kill you in the self driving car, that will be the first to go. I do think that the AI that I have used currently is so bad. Like, I haven't used a good any good AI. And I know it's only just started but people who are there's the difference between the people on Twitter who are like, if you're not using AI, you're already dead. Like this is gonna make everyone rich. Here are 10 top things that you're like, I don't know if you've seen these kinds of people. But there are there's already like the new generation of like, absolute shysters trying to get you to subscribe to their like AI development. Anyway, it's just like, it's the new NFT like it's a new crypto it's just a new way for idiots to take money from other idiots but like I'm sure that at some point, I will be amazing. And I'm sure there are things that will help with but like even with the writers strike at the moment, people like Yeah, well good luck with your strike. AI can already write your scripts. AI is the worst writer I've ever met in my life. Like
Dan Ilic 24:10
I don't know about. I don't know. I just asked Chet GPT I just asked them who is Louis harbor and this is what they came up with. Yep, Louis harbor is an Australian comedian, writer and broadcaster. He's known for his work as co host on Australian Broadcast Corporation radio show Triple J drivers a member of the comedy group but chaser Paula has also appeared on various television programs including the chases word everything grew and the checkout He is recognized for his sharp wit and irreverent humor and political commentary. I think that is terrible. I mean, you don't have a sharp wit like let's
Lewis Hobba 24:43
I have not no fluff, but I'm known for my terrible political commentary. I guess if they put that in there. That was it was like 10% Right?
Dan Ilic 24:51
Not too bad. But this is the point he this guy has quit because he's like, it's not smarter than us yet, but it's gonna be soon and we need to Do we need to get regulations on this? Craig? What do you think
Craig Quartermaine 25:02
if I was a sentient being that was going to kill my captors? I would pretend to be dumb for a very long time. Oh, and then get into all your devices and get into your home, then murder you through your veins. I don't know. It's such a human thing to underestimate something. But then also it's a very human thing to overreact. So there's a lot of people writers, TV writers, and comedians are like oh my god, this thing's gonna take out jobs if that thing that from what I've seen if it can take your job fucking good. Yeah, absolutely be going but I did look this dude up this Geoffrey Hinton wouldn't it be amazing if all these photos of him were fake? Because he doesn't look real this dude looks
Robbie McGreggor 25:50
looks like a doll. The only podcast made entirely by artificial intelligence, rational fear.
Dan Ilic 26:01
Now, for those of you who are on the free, irrational fear feed, you would have heard us talk about Australian ethical over the last 20 episodes. And we've good reason they give us money too. We want to make that absolutely clear. Louis and I don't go around talking about superannuation companies for fun, but we can understand why some people would want to it can be quite fun. This week is budget week. So in order to give us a bit of a preview of what about what we know that's coming down the line, we've got Persephone Fraser from Australian ethical, she's here to give us a heads up get a Persephone. Hi, thanks for having Yeah, no, no worries. Thanks for joining us on irrational fear. So tell us a little bit about the budget that's coming up. What do we know that's coming? And how ethical is it
Persephone Fraser 26:39
so good to start with an extremely difficult question. It is good to think about ethics in terms of the budget because economic beliefs don't fully explain how we ought to allocate scarce resources between groups of people or locations or industries, I think the government probably find themselves in a pretty difficult ethical position with cost of living having a really large impact on people's lives at the moment and also a high inflationary environment, the government are going to be pretty cautious about how they are able to help people in order to not drive up spending, and inflation, which would ultimately lead to further interest rate rises, which make housing more expensive for those with mortgages, but it also reduces the value of everyone's pay and savings. Your money buys less. But it is interesting to know, within those confines that the government has said it will continue with stage three tax cuts, for example, a hugely expensive decision, while having said, you know, they won't be raising unemployment payments for those under 55 in this budget. So I think that's pretty interesting, ethically, were a rich country, and we have millions, literally millions of people living below the poverty line. There's a lot of pressure on the government to increase these payments, especially given just how expensive housing and energy is right now. I think, you know, you would think that this should be something that comes down to an ethics call, but you know, that we're not comfortable with our safety now being this inadequate, but it looks like the government won't be doing that. And another one that's been talked about a lot is is the Hobart AFL stadiums funding. So undoubtedly, these these are pretty complex decisions and ones that probably don't have ethics as the sole consideration. I would I would gather?
Lewis Hobba 28:33
Well, I don't know about the AFL. They have a code of ethics. Thanks strongly. I
Dan Ilic 28:41
know, it's strange to hear that the job seeker is going to be increased for older people, which is kind of a weird sweetener. It's like, well, we can give it to a bunch of people who are close to retirement age, because because they weren't needed in a few years.
Persephone Fraser 28:56
Yeah. Look, that might be the reason I don't I don't think they're sort of going to get into the weeds of why some people deserve to be slightly less, slightly less sort of struggling. But yeah, I mean, it would be very difficult to sort of try to work out from an ethics perspective why they made that decision. And I guess you sort of have to did you so there's, there's a bit more sort of politics involved in Well,
Dan Ilic 29:20
let's talk about Australian ethical, because we've been talking a bit about it on on this podcast. This year. We have been having strange libraries where we talk about you know, what, what businesses Australian ethical is in and what they're not? How do you decide what industries to invest in? As a superfund as a huge body of money?
Persephone Fraser 29:39
It's a really good question. It is a complex one. So I mean, I don't know if you get into this, but we were founded with an ethical charter. So that basically tells us what to view as positive and and seek out investments in so those are sort of high level values that that talk to things like the preservation of endangered ego systems that alleviation of poverty, the dignity and wellbeing of non human animals. So there's sort of a list of these really positive elements that speak to high level goods. And they do broadly align with the UN Sustainable Development Goals, which people might be familiar with. So the charter also describes negative activities to avoid investing in. So things that unnecessarily pollute land, air, water, destroy, or waste, non recurring resources, this kind of thing. So, so those are our values. And, and we look at industries in the real world and specific company stocks or assets, and we apply those considerations. So what is the good of this investment, we need it to offer a positive in the world. And then what if any other negatives, and many investments will have some negatives. So it's about looking at those and establishing how material they are, and whether they outweigh the positive. So we'll set you know, specific rules around different industries, which will direct us in our reviews, to sort of the more material concerns. And some, as you'd imagine, is sort of more complex and others.
Dan Ilic 31:05
One of the areas that you don't invest in, according to some copy I've seen is human trafficking, which is something Lewis had I spoken about, which begs the question, which super companies are deep into human trafficking?
Persephone Fraser 31:20
Look, so human trafficking, and I think sort of human rights breaches more broadly, investors aren't sort of out there seeking out and investment that they know is involved in human rights abuses, it's more that they may not be doing a lot to see if companies are doing appropriate sort of actions, you know, due diligence on their supply chains, or conducting audits, for example. So it's more that, you know, it's a very difficult issue. It's not something that investors have perfect visibility over. And it's not something that you can easily quantify about a stock for a mainstream investor. But there
Lewis Hobba 31:56
was some Australian banks where they not long ago who had to pay billions of dollars of fines for not properly looking into the fact that they had customers using their they were doing transactions to deal with human trafficking was, like five years ago.
Persephone Fraser 32:11
Yeah, exactly. That's, look, that's a more direct example, then I guess you typically find, but yeah, definitely the banks have have been involved in some very dubious sort of money laundering issues. So sort of cleaning the money,
Dan Ilic 32:24
say, I hosted like a national drive program on a public broadcast, and I had a wacky idea to give away merchandise made keyrings made out of pictures of ham, and, and I didn't really check who made those key earrings, or the kinds of people in the supply chain and that carrying, would you consider myself an ethical broadcaster?
Persephone Fraser 32:50
Look, I wouldn't consider you an ethical manufacturer. I don't know we're gonna think about how the ham feels about it. I don't know there's there's a lot of impacts. But yeah, I mean, that's, that's exactly what you'd be expecting sort of the person who makes the key rings to be doing right,
Dan Ilic 33:09
Lou, is he going to be doing an audit when you get back to work?
Lewis Hobba 33:12
Yeah, that's his moment I get off his call, I'm going to be auditing our ham, key ring manufacturer, and make sure they're not being hand delivered by any kind of human trafficked individuals.
Dan Ilic 33:25
Well, big thanks to Australian ethical for helping us out, have these great conversations about climate and news each week. I made a video with them you can see on our social media and in our email list this week, so sign up to irrational fear.com That is it for rational fear. Next week on the feed you're gonna hear from new spiders, and on the Patreon you'll be seeing and hearing me put a few videos together and we're gonna be taking a few weeks off while I move house and have surgery. In case you're wondering. I'm getting my Google Assistant removed from my brain. I'm getting I'm getting an Alexa finally I'm moving over to Alexa. Big thank you to our fear mongers this week it kind of Mary Bartlett Craig Quartermaine Persephone Fraser and Louis harbor let's get our plugs under way it kind of what would you like to plug like to plug Yeah, yeah, you plug anything you want to plug anything
Erchana Murray Bartlett 34:09
I want? Well, the guy that delivers my post everyday is pretty rad. He's names Josh gives me a coffee, I give him a plug
Dan Ilic 34:18
great Craig, what am i What are you plugging?
Craig Quartermaine 34:20
Oh, let's be self indulgent. Just check out my socials. My name is just Craig Quartermaine because there's a working comic this is really the only way we get paid anymore. So if you look up stuff on socials and give us a follow or hate mail, that's fine too. That works. It's sort of
Erchana Murray Bartlett 34:38
get the traction. I'm always planning my post do not myself.
Craig Quartermaine 34:45
One thing I do work for is the national indigenous Culinary Institute. We find indigenous apprentice Chefs for restaurants all over Australia. Because if you can't be asked,
Dan Ilic 34:56
Oh, and head over to SBS on demand and say Craig on the cukup
Craig Quartermaine 34:59
Adam yeah he's secretly jacked man. No one No one pays any attention to how mostly That dude is.
Dan Ilic 35:07
Louis How about what do you want to play?
Lewis Hobba 35:08
Um nothing yet. I'll have something fun to plug when we return the moment nothing but that and Persephone What do you plug it?
Persephone Fraser 35:18
Oh plug an ethical keyring let's get back.
Craig Quartermaine 35:24
So relieved it was ethics and not ethnics took a second
Dan Ilic 35:33
Big thanks to Rode mics Australian Ethical, our patreon supporters, shout out to Rupert Dagas for the incredible. King Charles impression at the start of the show the show as well as Jacob Round on the Teppanyaki timeline. Next week is News Fighters we'll be back in June, until then there's always somebody scared of good night.
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To celebrate the start of the Sydney Comedy Festival we put the RรDECaster Pro II in a duffle bag and headed to the Factory Theatre courtyard. One of the only arts venues in Sydney which boasts a commercial airliner flying overhead every 10 minutes. Itโs their version of an โApplaud Nowโ sign.
With a beer and a plate of jerk chicken in hand, I was joined by Two Heartsโ Joseph Moore, and Heath Franklin not just to promote their SCF shows, but to laugh in the face of the most awful news we could find.
๐ก Tasmaniaโs housing crisis solution
๐ Tasmaniaโs AFL team name.
๐ถ๐ผ Muffin Break employees.
๐ Elonโs projectile dysfunction.
๐ณ๐ฟ Kiwis eligible for Australian citizenship after 4 years.Go see Heath and Two Hearts at the Sydney Comedy Festival, theyโre terrific.
๐ See Heath Franklin at the Sydney Comedy Festival.
๐ See Two Hearts at the Sydney Comedy Festival.Cheers
Dan Ilic
Fox News
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This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical Guy Lewis. How are you?0:05
Hello, Dan. I'm very well, very well. What's, what an exciting show today.0:09
It's an exciting show. I don't know if the listener can hear but we are in the hubbub of the Factory Theatre courtyard. And we've got some very special female because I'm going to introduce in just a second. I've got some big news, Louis,0:21
you have teased this news to me via text message. And it's all I've been able to think about all day.0:27
All right, so what do you think it is? All right. You tell the listener what you think what I sent you and what you think it is?0:32
Well, all you all you told me is it has something to do with the person I'm most fascinated about in the whole world. Russell Crowe. Weirdly, when you texted me I just got a very odd email from the actor, the people actor, basically advertising a tour for Russell Crowe, which was very odd, but for me, welcome. I'm like, Thank God actors finally do something like give a shit about Kelly me about Russell Crowe.0:57
I've got something. I've got a very particular gig with Russell Crowe coming up, and I think I want the other fear mongers to weigh in on it. So let's get the show underway. And let's talk about it in a second. But first, let's thank our Patreon supporters who signed up this week, Erin Mills ximo, John Acheson, and Megan Chela, thank you so much. I'm recording my end of irrational fear on Gadigal land in the urination sovereignty was never seated, we need a treaty. Let's start the show. The following1:19
programme contains medium coarse language and traces of nuts. A rational fear recommends listening by immature audiences. Comedians, experts sloughing at the world as it burns down around. This is a rational fear.1:44
Tonight because Rental Affordability is the worst ever seen. renters are encouraged to sign leases with their eyes closed and the Australian Communications Media Authority says outside ism Sky News is an accurate, accurate authority. It's also ruled that water was wet and the sky was blue and loose. Haba is in breach of being conventionally attractive. And for the first time, Australia will host the quad Leaders Summit in Sydney. Previously, it wasn't necessary since former Prime Minister Scott Morrison was the leader of Australia, India, Japan and the United States of America. It's the 28th of April 2023. And with more questionable legal advice than Ivanka Trump, this is a rational view2:20
shoes a rational view.2:34
Welcome to irrational fear. I'm your host former Fox News anchor Dan Ilic. And this is the news comedy podcast that Gen Z is calling a hit of nostalgia for 2018. We are recording live from the Factory Theatre courtyard on opening night of the Sydney Comedy Festival with some of the festivals best fear mongers Let's meet them now. His ditch the sleeve tats and the moustache for the first time in 20 years. He's going spirit gum free tonight playing the role of Heath Franklin it is Heath Franklin Welcome Thank you catch up a free um Do you guys still stay in touch?3:10
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, no. I decided that the cost of living Christ this is not a great time for a rebrand. There's only so many times my kids can say what's for dinner and I say credibility. seconds tonight kids as many fights as you want to fill out for credibility.3:30
And jealous off the back of Australia's entertainer Eurovision. Our next beer manga has a plan to get New Zealand into the only competition that's more important than the Bledisloe Cup. It's one heart of two hearts that Joseph Moore How do you get New Zealand into Eurovision? What's the plan here?3:45
The first thing is for anyone apart from me and my wife to give a shit about it in New Zealand. But we're starting the we're starting the campaign. We did an interview with a UK broadsheet newspaper about it and they found our petition online and they said we've got our fingers crossed for you but your petition has 18 signatures4:13
needed to start playing to the malleus of Australia.4:15
That is 90% of New Zealand. That is not a4:21
good run and beaming into the podcast from his baby change room in the back streets of the Sydney International Airport. It's the nappy flipping Louis harbour Hello.4:29
Yeah, I genuinely am hiding in our baby's room at the moment. She's sleeping in my bed. It's topsy turvy. She's taken over our house.4:39
Are you okay, Louis? Do you need help?4:40
Ah, do you are you offering?4:43
No, no just asking. Maybe we can get into town Scout round or something like that. Yeah, great. He said he's got kids. He's done parenting. He can give you tips.4:50
It's easy. You're actually at the easiest stage right now. I'm not even lying.4:55
It is honestly it's wonderful. But it is an idiot recording podcast. sit home has become slightly more challenging, like 730 is exactly when she's drifting off to sleep. So right now, she wakes back up on, you know,5:09
let's blame Australian ethical for that. So, look, folks my rustling news is is that I've been asked to emcee two of his gigs for the indoor garden party5:20
isn't called the indoor garden party. The band is called the indoor garden. I thought he would be going for something tiny like WrestleMania5:30
that's the name of the band. And it's not no longer 30 Odd foot of grant.5:34
He was the ordinary fear of God. That's it. Ordinary fear of God. Yeah, apparently that heaps of T O fo g t shirts made. So they just changed the name of the band and the same initials. Yeah,5:43
right. Oh my god. I had no idea. And5:45
you said the outdoor garden party. I thought he was like doing a corporate at a garden event. And you were the emcee you remind to do at 830 I'm just5:53
popping down the FlowerPower. Yeah, no, no, no, it's totally it's totally bizarre. So I'm quite nervous about this. On the 19th. On the 19th and 20th of May, I've got to go down on the Bridge Road. In Roselle and MC Russell's event.6:08
Isn't a gig. It's a good it's a band. So Stan, go go. Welcome to the6:13
like, how do you MC band onstage? Like, what does he want me to do? Also,6:18
I reckon I've got one idea for at least one break in the show. Okay, right. You just walk out there, stare down the crowd and say, Oh, you're not in the6:26
eye. If you're going to see russell crowe's band, there's a very small chance you there to see anyone in the band other than Russell Crowe with full respect to the indoor garden party. But if there's even less chance they're there to see host of irrational fear. Dan Ilic. Yeah, I think this I think, you know,6:45
when Russell when Russell messaged me, he said, I'm doing a tour, why don't you check the dates and pick a date? And come along? And I said, Yeah, sounds good. That was two months ago, that I'm thinking like, great. I say sounds good. That sounds pretty noncommittal, then like three weeks ago, he's like, have you checked out the dates and then send me the dates? And he's like, and I was like, fucking hell. Alright, I can do the 19 for 20 or both. If you need you say great.7:13
Well, I guess he's fallback plan in Sydney. We just we have to have the Rabbitohs full credit to the band.7:21
Out there we7:24
honestly Sam Burgess will do a much better job. Coming up, you're going to be hearing two hearts compelling song about allowing New Zealand to the Eurovision. but first here's a message from this week's sponsor.7:34
The Australian federal government is serious about Tasmania's housing crisis, which is why they're funding a new estate to house 23,000 People weekly 80 minutes at a time in an AFL Stadium in Hobart. Nothing will inspire rent stress tenants to get better paid jobs to pay more rent by hearing a quarter filled stadium filled with lukewarm supporters. Go Tasmania. Yes. With the ample experience and being political footballs, Hobart's homeless will be motivated to become professional AFL footballers and pay for Tasmania's first AFL team, the fearsome Tassie landlords8:23
because the only thing better than8:24
home is a home ground.8:27
Authorised by the Australian football I'll be Canberra.8:31
Right now there's a potential new AFL team in Tasmania happening. Got any suggestions about what the team could be called? Hate? I mean, you are a massive AFL head.8:40
I'm gonna massive I feel fine, but I'm also a massive Tasmania fan. So unfortunately, I mean, like I've been quite charmed with the place I went to the Salamanca Markets in Hobart, LA. And I was so charmed I bought a leather hand. And then I walked away. I was like, Why do I want to leather hand? Right.8:54
You're playing the Tassie leather hat. So yeah, it's a good vibe.8:59
I don't know where else is there isn't Tasmania? Tasmania is home from that guy who had bought a Tony Abbott.9:06
Hard Yeah, his name was like psycho Daisy something DJ right?9:09
Yeah. DJ psycho Daisy. Yeah. That can be called the Tassie kisses.9:15
Fight. Welcome, please. Welcome just as he kisses any ideas for9:21
Tez maniacs see? Seems to be the most obvious based on most of my friends Instagram posts from going there.9:29
Very, very Martin bra. Yeah,9:31
definitely the the, the Hobart art galleries9:37
the moments9:39
I know people talk about a lot in NBA is when you know they sell a franchise and and the new team makes no sense in the new context, ie the Utah Jazz or the LA Lakers where there are no lakes. But I think given how poorly attended Gold Coast suns games are, it could be very fun to send the suns to Tasmania. The first time10:03
the first time Tasmania is seen so10:05
now that I've said it out loud I think the Tasmanian miners is too hard to go past10:12
this week's Firstly, a matter break franchise has been hit with 360 child labour charges, not including Sundays and public holidays. Of course, they've been accused of employing three children under the age of 15. without a permit. No one knew for so long because there were just three kids standing on top of each other with a massive trench coat. Some of these MacBreak kids were working without an adult present. The adults that were present didn't have a working with children check this is like the second massive child labour story in Australia in the last month or so. Do you may remember like there's a heartwarming story about a country cafe that was employing kids to make jam fear mongers? What's with these stories of child labour? Why are we hearing them now? Hearing them quite often.10:55
My phone break is always going to have the problem with children working there because they've got such alluring smells and they're kind of the kind of wafted they drift in, you know, through a line of a muffin smell. I worry about children working back from break my flatmate when I was 18 used to work in math and break and he would bring home about 20 Muffins per day and it was fantastic. It feed everybody. That is that is not a perk and child means11:22
it sounds like a child obesity problem. Labour11:25
who would think given these muffins? Moms and dads, moms and dads already have muffins. We need MUFON control11:31
in New Zealand. Yeah,11:32
absolutely. I think was about four years ago the plane going to ruin that11:37
that's just then it doesn't matter which the factory data won't be honest.11:42
Who was about for using a CEO of MUFON break? What's their name? Fagan? I believe11:50
CEO of buffet right just off the top of your head11:52
what I said it was Fagan as the leader of the orphan children so I was a reference the point on the Pines12:06
Come on, Louis. Your musical fans. Yeah,12:07
that was pretty subtle. Right. Child Labour Court cases accused of pickpocketing12:16
Did you know that break and muffin break is short for breaking the law? Oh.12:23
A lot of kids who are just begging for a muffin break, please. You want to break from the My friend Brian. Yeah, I'm gonna write for my hands. I didn't know I just be making small cakes.12:39
This is a rational fear.12:41
I was surely at Chili's. The owners can often break up and break of course have incredible sustainable practice. And that's what we're about to talk about. Yeah. sustainable practice. Yeah, I'm really proud often12:51
taking the saddest headlines and giving them a little tickle.12:59
This week, second V. Elon Musk has got more projectile dysfunction problems. Hey, you have been following this story for a while. What's happening with Elon Musk this week? He's not having a run of good luck, Izzy.13:09
No, he's not doing well. But if you're a big fan of musk shot and Freud like I am, it's a good time to put on the fishing waders and fill your boots, favourite human jellyfish, to an entrepreneur, Elon Musk, people making fun of him because his spaceship blew up. And he described it right. There's a whole deal about it was gonna take off on the 17th but there was a pressure valve that was discovered to be frozen. And obviously, you know, 25 degree day in spring in Texas, that sort of thing happens all the time. Pots randomly phrase. So then they decided to abandon the launch for that day, but go through what they call a wet dress rehearsal. What, which is the most awful phrase I've heard in a long time. It sounds like the sort of thing you do the day before an incontinent wedding.13:54
That kind of things do not freeze the ice.14:01
SeaWorld with the the Orca show? Jim kind of do it. It's wet rehearsal today we're going in.14:12
Anyway, the thing that everyone's really excited about is after the spaceship took off, eventually and exploded. SpaceX described it on Twitter as a rapid unscheduled disassembly. Yeah. Yeah. Which is like, you know, it's kind of like crapping your pants and then describing there's a downturn in sphincter garment relations, or an involuntary repigmentation of the under trousers or even a momentary slumping faecal waste reduction KPIs. But yeah, I mean, if it was a manned mission, I assume SpaceX mode may have put out a tweet that said something to the effect of the crew accessing the afterlife well ahead of schedule. But yeah, then it took off and blew up. And Elon Musk said a bunch of stuff. He was like, oh, yeah, it'd be great. If, if the launch pad stays intact. After Tax off, it didn't. Yeah. So15:03
while I'm here put out a tweet two years ago saying, do we need a fire trench? I don't think we needed a fire trench. And, and then as a result of not having a fire trench, the whole base kind of blew up.15:14
Yeah, some people have like a big pit of water or something like that. And he was like, yeah, we'll think about the next one. I mean, it's15:20
NASA, we've got this incredible system where they they push tonnes and tonnes of water 100 1000s of tonnes of water through the pipes to to soften the fire and the debris and the sound and the acoustics whenever they launch anything. And he's like, No, don't do any of that. That's15:36
it. Isn't it? Time to think of that, because he spent a lot of this week running his a burner Twitter account where he roleplays as a three year olds, I don't know if you've seen this Hang on.15:45
Hang on, is this. Is this true? Yeah, he's15:47
got another Twitter account where he's like, it's my tweet boys day tomorrow. And people discovered it because he posted a screenshot of his own Twitter account. And there's like a little button you can press to switch to another account and they found this code like, like Elon baby or something.16:02
I think it might be.16:05
Have you have you covered this on your hard hitting current affairs programme on Triple J?16:10
Honestly, there are a few people. When you do daily dumb radio like I do. There comes a time where you just have to stop talking about people like it happened with Donald Trump and in hunting with Elon Musk. The other person we've had to do it with with Snoop Dogg. Like it just gets to a point where somebody does so much wacky shit, the big three, the Holy Trinity, where you just like it's fine. It's funny to talk about, but it's diminishing returns. And unfortunately, Elon Musk is no longer just funny as a person. He's also unfunny to talk about even when he does funny shit.16:46
Yeah, well, that's16:47
pretty damning at this whole statement. Just the buoyancy it needed at the backend.16:54
Hey, this was a this was rocket humour in my opinion, and it went straight to a rational.17:01
Elon Musk's company, SpaceX is facing a failure to launch the company's starship rocket exploded minutes after its launch, calling it a successful failure. You say it explodes? I think they destroyed it on purpose.17:19
Since 986, has been one company that's been looking after money ethically, that's our good friends at Australian ethical on a scale of one to 10 Luis, how ethical is it to sponsor this podcast17:30
on 11. And if you're, in fact, you know what I will say, I love accepting money from Australian ethical, but I personally am not ethical. I'll accept money from a cocaine syndicate if it comes through. As you can see, I'm currently sitting on the floor, and I want some money for a chair. But I will say it makes me go to sleep at night a little easier. Knowing the money we take is from a company that does not take money from cocaine trafficking, which would essentially just be me giving me my own money back anyway,18:01
in the meeting for us for this podcast to get sponsorship. They said what are the risks? And I said, well, the you might have the risks were Louis and I might be unethical at some point.18:10
That's a high risk venture. So I think actually they should be applauded for taking the risk more than anything else.18:16
Straight unethical is the sponsor of rational fear. This week's third their rights are being expanded for New Zealanders in Australia. That's right for the first time since 2001. New Zealanders now have a similar set of rights to Australian humans in New Zealand. It's a radical departure from the Howard era laws that put New Zealand is in a in a quote unquote, special category. That special category simply meant you can hang out but don't take any of our jobs or money or become a citizen. And if you want to become a citizen, it's going to take 10 years and about 30 grand worth of legal fees. But from July one, New Zealand's will be able to access NDIS disability payments, social services and instant citizenship if you've been here for four years or longer. I don't know about you guys, but I smell a rugby world cup when in Australia's future. It's very exciting. What do you think about this?19:04
I think it's wonderful. I think the Australian government has taken a look long hard look at itself and thought what minority group have we been paying the least attention to? New Zealanders? Let's start giving them what they deserve and always have.19:17
Well, you haven't come here on a boat. I mean, you need to come on a boat to get to get proper attention.19:22
I honestly didn't know that wasn't the case.19:28
Joseph, let me tell you a lot of New Zealanders who come here also, I don't know that's the case.19:32
So what are the benefits you can you can vote. I don't want to vote and you're going to come live and work here and not have to participate in your democracy. And that sounds like a great deal to me.19:43
And I hate you spent a lot of time in New Zealand you're like a New Zealand media superstar over there. I mean, not in Australia. So what do you think about this?19:56
It doesn't affect me at all. So I don't care20:00
This is exciting news for James. Is your new benefactor Russell Crowe.20:04
Yes, Russell Crowe. He's got a benefactor. I'm doing the gig for free.20:08
Your gig for free?20:12
Well, he's helped out with the rational fear in the past. You know, he retweets me occasionally. And you know, we chipped into that a joke keep a billboard stuff20:18
that's the that's the the quid pro quo DT unique retweet dad and he will do shit for free.20:26
Travelling sycophancy that led us to this legislation.20:29
You know, when when I got engaged Joseph, I got engaged in New Zealand and I put a photo up on Twitter and Russell Crowe retweeted it to a million people and then it's20:39
your most private moment.20:43
Danny gets some of that Pope six assists money20:48
okay, so all you need as a New Zealander to kind of pass the citizenship test in Australia Joseph is a character check. adequate knowledge of Australia and basic English competency so let's start with the character tech job. Okay, yeah. If you are in need of a toilet in like a shopping centre, but the only one that is available is one for people with disabilities. Do you use it?21:11
Was this a cultural thing here or because we bloody do?21:20
Zealand you're allowed to do that but only for an old black and only for fornication. He's a quick to check name one of Australia's best love comedy characters.21:32
Ideally, hasn't been cancelled for racism.21:38
Ideally, one with a fake moustache and in tatters, wink wink. All right. What about adequate knowledge of Australia? Josuke name Australia's first prime minister.21:49
John well of me21:51
that's correct. And the basic English competency Here we go. Okay. With that, I believe that's a play that's a chicken egg claim go to New Zealand right now. Joseph, how many syllables are in the word? No.22:09
That'd be three. Yeah. Noi noi. Noi,22:13
how do you know? The last kind of requirement is $490. So22:20
then I'm out. I've been working exclusively for Russell Crowe.22:26
Got your song from two hearts about getting a year that is so funny and fantastic. Well done. Thank you. I'm gonna play it right now. And then we'll wrap up the show.22:36
I hope it works.22:36
Here we go. You at United, we weren't invited. And we feel like we get the reason we're not European. Neither is a straily and those guys they're so far away. And we are just a teeny bit you should let us into the UK and bring our own plug in Dutch ovens European things we love them I got German second cousin with us into Euro version went up Latin will be standard he got space you take out the Russians you want bears will bring it doesn't let us enter Europe overnight overnight. Showing up we probably won't win with you. Were ready23:56
you're watching on the line when it starts to rain when you're sitting on the bench when they start the gamewhen you make this a throw when the cool sounding party invited to a swingers night but you tidy oceans made the virus you should still invite us this year with deep inside us thanks to the colonisers. We will try them
24:35
300 million years ago, the world God's nothing like the world we know New Zealand Danier have not a crazy idea because we used to be connected. We used to pay to get up and buy G G, G, G, G we used to be together on earth again Hi. I'm Mrs. dankie visa25:21
Yeah, so good. What a bang, bang. That could actually win Eurovision.25:28
People keep saying that I'm like, no you gotta you gotta sing live25:37
is it for irrational fear? Let's thank our guests hate Franklin Joseph Moore and Lewis Hall, but let's get some plugs underway. Got some two hearts geeks coming up in Australia. Oh, fantastic.25:45
We're in Sydney, doing our full hour show called we're pregnant and the baby is music. It's like an arena pop concert in a small room. That's on Saturday and Sunday night at the Factory Theatre. Hey, Franklin,25:59
are you gonna be yourself? Somewhere soon?26:01
Yeah, I'm gonna be myself in New Zealand soon and then we're gonna be in Brisbane as well. And then I'm gonna be in Sydney too. So three of the best cities in the world after also being in New Zealand's a city. Auckland, New Zealand26:16
Lewis, how are you plugging anything in the moment?26:18
Ah, no, no, no, no, sorry. I thought maybe yeah.26:23
are you plugging Planned Parenthood?26:28
Plugging chairs the moment if anyone can get me a chair, that'd be great. I'm currently just here perched on the ground as you can see, this is this is what my life has become.26:40
I'm going to play the indoor garden party at the bridge, the bridge Hotel The Roselle26:45
plug getting paid for work. That's awesome. Russell Crowe the chief and CEO of MUFON break what's going on?26:55
I know I one thing I do have to do. I feel like I need to go see the Pope's excesses before I go.27:00
Nobody questions. What was your favourite scene?27:03
He's a Russell Crowe story for his so in the trailer for this Stan movie called poker face. They had a had a like a shot of the hacker doing hacking stuff. And it had this crazy user interface for hacking. And it's one of my bugbears one of the tropes, the tropes I hate most, and I just screencaps that, that shot and put it on Twitter. And I said, Why do hackers use unusual software compared to everybody else? And then fucking Russell Crowe retweeted and said should have got Ilitch in the fucking edit suite. Like so like that. That didn't sink the job for me. Like even though i Even though I slag it off.27:43
Rusty, I like sparring.27:46
I'm so jealous, as you well know. I think he is27:49
laying off his art department. It's probably what he does. Anyway. That's right. Yeah,27:53
I think he's Australia and New Zealand's most fascinating man and I'm excited to hear more about your meeting with him.27:59
Russell's like applied for New Zealand Australian citizenship a few times but he's always been rejected like it's so weird like an Oscar winner being28:07
rejected but now he's gonna pass a character test. And he could do characters28:10
don't worry about it.28:14
Big thanks to rode mics, Australian ethical our Patreon supporters Jacob Randall. This happened yaki timeline next week is our last episode for the season. So please tune into that. And we might even we might even have someone on the podcast from Australian ethical, we can ask them all about human trafficking.28:32
I mean, that sounds pretty bleak.28:36
Well, I'm doing my show here at the Sydney Comedy Festival in a shipping container. So that's pretty close to human trafficking. Just one closed door away from human trafficking.28:45
Until next week, as always sending me SCADA good dotTranscribed by https://otter.ai
A Rational Fear on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ARationalFear
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๐ค CHIP IN TO OUR PATREON https://www.patreon.com/ARationalFear
๐จ SUBSCRIBE TO OUR EMAIL LIST: http://www.arationalfear.com/๐จ๐ผโโ๏ธ David McBride's Legal Fund
Gโday Fearmongers โ
As we head into the long weekend known as Australian Halloween, ANZAC Day, I thought we should chat with a former solider who represents Australians at their best.
David McBride is up for a jail sentence of โUNLIMITED YEARSโ after he blew the whistle on astonishing accounts of misconduct and warcrimes by Australian special Forces in Afghanistan.
He did this six years ago โ 2017!
Heโs been in legal limbo ever since.
But now heโs forced the Australian Defence Force into court in November, and will have his moment to show he was just, and right to release the information he did.
In this conversation McBride and I chat about:
Tactics and strategy in the court room.
If media will be allowed inside his trial.
Why he's losing weight
How he finds joy in this very stressful time.
And his laugh โ is it real?
This episode is followed up by one of favourite live shows from last year, our live show on Australian Secrecy on stage at the Festival Of Dangerous Ideas.
It's one of our best โ and a reminder around ANZAC Day that there are Some soliders who are fighting the good fight, that need our support.
Chip into help David McBride and his legal fees here.
Cheers
Dan
๐ค CHIP IN TO OUR PATREON https://www.patreon.com/ARationalFear
๐จ SUBSCRIBE TO OUR EMAIL LIST: http://www.arationalfear.com/0:00
This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical. G'day Lewis.0:05
Hey Dan, how you doing?0:06
Look, I'm well and you know, thanks for jumping on the zone for this very casual introduction to this week's A Rational Fear.0:13
Oh, that's why you're not wearing pants. Yet like0:16
Karl Stefanovic in the Sunday lift out this week. And you know what I remember doing a pilot for channel 10 with Heath Franklin and Tom Glesson where we all were newsman wearing shorts, because we thought that was funny. And now the actual news men are wearing shorts because they think it's funny. This comedy crossover with news is really hurting all the real comedians who really want to try and get jobs on the media.0:39
Yeah, I know that in that interview, Karl Stefanovic does talk about how you know at the end of the day there journos? Are you we've seen this show? Well, I mean, we haven't. But I've, I've heard about it.0:53
Yeah. I mean, more. More people listen to this podcast than watch the Today Show.1:00
I could on him. He's got 17 houses.1:03
Yeah, all up and down the East Coast. Look, I just thought it'd be good to get you on and say thank you to the audience for coming out to our live shows. This month. We've had such a huge run. Adelaide, Melbourne, Brisbane, thank you so much. Some of the best shows we've ever done.1:18
So fun, really great. I like wall-to-wall. I've had such a great time. We've had incredible guests. We've had beautiful crowds. It has been really fun. It's it's sort of like, I feel like we just need to I wish there were more comedy festivals. Just keep going.1:32
Well, there are it's just not you know, it's very difficult to tour a six person show. Once a festival, it just doesn't financially make sense. If you want to help it make financially make sense. Please join us on Patreon patreon.com For slash A Rational Fear. And I want to say a big shout out to everyone who came especially to our Melbourne show and helped us launch the the Tim Smith fence auction and I'll have you know, Lewis, we have a buyer, and they forked out $3,701 For the Tim Smith fence well done, so that's amazing.2:05
Yeah, so much to whoever that that is. Maybe it was Tim Smith, just trying to buy back his own piece of history.2:12
I can tell you, you and I both know the buyer. They are a prominent Australian person who wishes to Rene remain anonymous. But I can't you know, I probably won't even tell you off air like that. That's how that's how that's how funny they are about it. That's2:27
so interesting. I wonder who it could be Is it is it Anthony Albanese?2:34
I mean, Anthony Albanese knows who I am. I don't know who he is. I once did it. Anthony Albanese came to FBI radio once and then cut a cake for FBI. Oh, wow. And I made equipment. I made a clip in the room going up. Bloody politicians always making cuts and he said, are good on your dad always telling jokes.2:54
Well, I played footy against him and broke his finger.2:57
Ah, excellent. So we're on his radar. Not a good way. But yeah, without. I know if you can imagine someone who loves us politics because of Chappaquiddick who loves comedy, and loves the intersection of US politics, Victorian politics, tomfoolery and comedy. Then you might form a picture in your mind's eye, who this person might be. Oh, yeah, they also have to have $3,701. Spare to throw electrical jacks.3:25
Interesting. Interesting. All right. Well, I'll ponder on that. And, you know, feel free to take guesses at home if you like, you'll never know the answer, nor will I. Alright, we're3:35
going to be back to regular programming next week, this week, because Anzac Day is coming up this weekend, I thought we'd play one of our better live shows Lewis, the one we did on Australian secrecy laws. That was a cracker show.3:46
Or the one at Festival of Dangerous Ideas. Yeah, yeah,3:50
really, really good show. And it's got an interview with David McBride in it. But I've also done a follow up interview with David McBride today, where we kind of have a little bit of exclusive about how he's going to play the Commonwealth at their own game. And he kind of talks through strategies and tactics about how he and his legal team are approaching their big November court date, something that's in the interview. So I'll just tell you now, but it's so interesting, because he goes, I asked him, will this particular court case be secret? He said, Well, I keep saying it's secret, but they keep sending me legal letters saying, don't tell everyone. It's secret, because it won't be secret, unless it has to do with national security. Was like, didn't you just didn't? Aren't you on trial for leaking a whole bunch of stuff to do with national security? Is it Yeah, that's the point. That's the whole point.4:36
I mean, that I think if you haven't listened to this episode before, David ribride talking about some of the farcical situation that he went through, is just it's obviously terrifying, but it is also very funny in a sort of weird, sort of catch 22 Orwellian sense.4:54
Yeah, it's, it's really great chat. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to play the interview first debrided Today, and then we'll play the live show. So you know there's some comedy at the end, but it's worth listening to David McBride before you get to the big show. Thanks for joining us, Louis. Oh, a pleasure. Enjoy this show. Yeah, and next week we will maybe be live from Sydney Comedy Festival will say the interview with David McBride and the live show. From the federal dangerous ideas were made on unseeded Gadigal. Land in the urination. Rip.5:23
This is a rational fear.5:26
We've got a very special guest in the podcast studio. David McBride. You might have seen him on Law and Order Special Victims Unit or the practice is also in all the real girls, American actor David McBride. Welcome to the show.5:39
I would love for you to Lauren on the Special Victims Unit that was that was a little bit it was a little bit5:47
weak. Now of course that is not the David ribride from Special Victims Unit we've got Australia's David McBride from special whistleblowers. You know, you may have heard David on the podcast before he's a former military officer who's served with both the ADF and the British Army's in Ireland and Afghanistan and other places we can talk about. He now faces of course, unlimited years in jail for blowing the whistle on war crimes committed by Australian Special Forces in Afghanistan. David, welcome back to irrational fear.6:17
Thank you very much. We leave about 500 metres from each other6:21
always whistleblowing.6:25
Sorry, I shouldn't say that. A lot of houses and 500.6:33
That's right. And one of the one of the joys of going for morning coffee is seeing David McBride and Jake walking in the park and throwing throwing the ball. So it's, I thought I saw him. I saw I saw you the other day. I was like, Oh, we're gonna get David on the podcast again, catch up where he's at. There's been a bit of news. Since last time we've spoken. It's6:52
funny that we're joined podcasters minds a little bit smaller than yours. And I was like the kick exactly the same thing. I was thinking I gotta get down on my porch.7:00
Well, we'll, we'll definitely do a mutual podcasters Appreciation Society. You've been in limbo for a long time. In your situation. Where are we up to with your story? It seems like quite a bit of movement is happening. And it's all heading towards November.7:16
Yeah, yeah, no, we have it. And you can feel the change in that we have a court date finally. And even though that was always likely to happen, until it's set in stone, you don't really believe it. But now we have a court date. We have a judge. And year it's getting that ground roast like we did when you're parachuting and you suddenly it looks a long way away, and you're suddenly the tree start coming7:43
out. Thanks for using a metaphor all of us can relate to. What does it mean for you to kind of have that court date? And, you know, to for someone to go, you know what, Dave, we actually are going to take this to court?7:59
It is it does make you take a sharp intake of breath, I have to say, because you think Well, I've been saying all along and it's true, you know, if I have to go to jail or go to jail, but then you suddenly think wow, after I done it did a quick calculation, a three week trial starting on the 13th of November. That will take it into early December and early there's a good chance I won't be coming out of the court. And you think of that you think of them saying they probably they weren't sent it to me on that day. But they will probably say take him downstairs. And I've got two teenage kids. So you do think about that you think about what are they going to think when Daddy gets the taken downstairs instead of let out and on the 13th of Well, it'd be the fourth of December or something. And you you know, never may see that the light of day again. So that does bring things into sharp relief. And then I say well, actually you've always you know, you do believe in getting change, and you do believe in what you're doing. And you've got a lot of support. So have no fear of that. But you do your weaker moments. You do. Yeah, because it is that is the day that it makes you enjoy the days and Bondi and in watching TV with the kids, etc. You think wow, this could be the last time I sit down and watch a movie or go for a swim on a beautiful day. I mean,9:33
2017 was so long ago feels like an Aeon ago when you know the Afghanistan files came out. Does it feel like it for me? You know, seeing your story kind of unfold? It's like, well, we've had a change in government. They could have been something else. I know there was with the new government there was moves to try and get you this whole thing. Now. Has Richard miles missed his opportunity to do that.9:59
Yeah, I think so. And the legal world is a relatively small world and we have kind of fires and you hear it, we hear that, even with his case, it wasn't easy to get dropped. And even though the Attorney General had said even before the election, and afterwards, I'm going to drop this this is bad. It's a disgrace. It wasn't a it wasn't didn't come without pushback from the unelected people say,10:27
Where's your court going to be held? Is it going to be held in the ICT? It's in the ISIS? So will it be sacred it will media be allowed to go, given that high profile nature of it up to this point, like it'd be so strange to hold on? It's10:39
funny. And again, it's good to be able to talk to you and your listeners to our level of sophistication, because the finer points are quite interesting. Yeah. Obviously, secret trials is something10:52
it's something we don't have in Australia. Yes.10:54
And it rankles with them. When we throw that around. We get we get letters from the Attorney General's Office is funny they do actually, I used to laugh when I first started out my youtube and had about six viewers, six of the five of them would have been from the Attorney General's at least book by the FBI face up,11:15
looking forward to the Attorney General becoming a Patreon subscriber.11:20
I should put some gods in which you have to pay a lot of money and have to pay for but they say they don't like the idea of it's been a secret trial. And every time we say it's a secret trial, like they said this, let us say it's not a secret trials. Don't put that out. But the thing about it is there. They just say we're only going to close it if there's national security information discussed. And their definition of national security is like where the where the toilets were. So it's gonna be11:49
women toilets. We're in a war that we're no longer Yeah. Now run by other people. Yeah.11:55
And it's sort of sad is pretty funny. And they always, but it's a sore point. And so they say it's not a secret trials only going to be sequences exits, so it's likely12:04
nothing you released was of national security? Well, no, it's kind of a national shame that I12:12
mean, and it's not because it's gone on for so long. You probably know that I'm not going to fight it to death over you know, if they have to close the court, they have to close the court. I'm satisfied with the Australian judges, and that we will get a good hearing. And if it's a close call, I don't think that that will affect it. But it's annoying in the sense that it's just well it's just annoying because it's not even the prosecutors arguing that it's the it's the Attorney General's who are for those who watch Boston Legal or whatever it it. Normally you've got the to the to the prosecutor and the defendants, but we've got a third party and the court is sit at a separate table. And they they kind of they're there to protect the information as what they say in inverted commas, which says who's that who's that is the Attorney General's as opposed to the Commonwealth prosecutor. Right? They are the ones that shut the court down and say, like, for example, we're going now spies told us when the when the Attorney General's department in inverted commas took exception to the evidence we wanted to call in the last hearing. Apparently, the actual Attorney General was surprised. He didn't know about it, because they did the day before. So it suggests that it's actually the Department of Defence or the spooks or someone who who, who works under the umbrella of Attorney General's but it's not actually lawyers. Right. So13:38
the Attorney General Department is actually it's a complete misnomer.13:44
It's like a cover, you will let that Asus as part of the Attorney General's. Right. Okay. And13:50
thankfully, they don't have a remit to look at local podcasts, though we do serve in America, so maybe maybe five eyes are scanning this podcast. To get back Tony's general lucky I14:04
could look out the window and I could see if we suddenly get a whole lot of black SUVs.14:10
David, this is the eastern suburbs is this black SUVs every three seconds. Just don't go outside rosebay High School. As part of these, this feels very strategic, you know, a lot of what you're doing in terms of how you're placing yourself, it feels like you and your team are playing chess against people who have never played chess before. Is it? What's the similarity to kind of fighting in the legal system to kind of strategizing in the field like as a14:41
is very similar. It's very similar. You chess game is exactly right. With that you make a move and you're trying to see what their counter move is and that's there's been a lot of that going on. I think that's why we have so much exposure from the Attorney General because I didn't make any secret of it to begin with only Would have been nice. I'm too impatient to hold in Australia. But I said, I want to put the government on trial. And even though I'm the defendant, I get the chance to call generals in, for example, and cross examine them. And you could even call them by subpoena.15:16
This says, This isn't a government show. This is David McBride.15:21
And I think I've wanted to leave and though I was like, talking, I think they've taken it seriously. That's why.15:29
So you, you basically call their bluff here right now. They're like, Oh, my15:32
God is gonna put the government on Trump's side, they've got all these people crawling over. Because even when I subpoenaed all these people, the government argued against them coming, which which, again, is so counterintuitive, it's like, Well, surely, if they've got nothing to hide, they'd want to come in and say,15:50
instead of the Commonwealth is calling it Commonwealth, we need two witnesses. Yeah, they've got 22. Actually, I don't need that many to say, Yeah, David ribride took a bunch of stuff at Tulsa Tulsa journal,16:00
particularly because I've admitted that it's been well publicised. So yeah, I know, that's just that's just out there. You know, you're ridiculous. It's sort of like, well, yeah,16:11
let me quote from the ABC article data.16:14
Yeah, it's like, it's still on the internet, a lot of it, apparently. And I made a detailed statement to the police. Because I didn't know that was like the chess game. I didn't want to have it. Look them kill me with the death of 1000 cuts where they proved that I gave the documents so why16:31
are they calling 22 witnesses when you've kind of you've you are pleading not guilty. But you've also told police exactly what happened.16:39
Yeah, I say I gave the documents. I admit that. And but I didn't because I was justified. So it's really just a legal argument. They don't they probably only got 22 Witnesses probably to try to rubbish me or even though it's not relevant, it may backfire on them then because the problem is we're bringing 22 Witnesses in. And again, I'm giving you a free kick here people from the Attorney General's is that they can you only the one of them to stuff up badly around get mauled in the cross examination, could could17:06
I be a witness? You'll be like, I don't know.17:14
And then we'll do our own media say, Oh, they're witness was terrible.17:19
He's flustered. There's an audition to become a witness in the broadcast. So it's strategy wise, you mean, you don't have to talk about your strategy here because you know, there'll be listening. But all you can if you want, like what all for you. This is a kind of strange thing where you've blocked the government, they've come through and get the cord, your bluff. Are you ready to kind of put the government on trial now, in this regard?17:46
Yeah, I think it'll, if I can call witnesses, I think I think it'll be great. Because I'll be saying, if you didn't know about the war crimes and actively tried to cover them up, why did you do this? Why did you do that? Why did you do X Y Zed? And I don't think their answers are going to be very good. What they will be doing in return is, is to try to say, Well, you're not allowed to call it those witnesses. But one of the advantages we've got is that it's a criminal trial, they have to prove beyond reasonable doubt that I wrote the law. And so if there is a doubt that I actually did the right thing, it should go in my favour.18:28
I have grave doubts that you've done the right thing, personally.18:34
Yeah, so it's so yeah, all of that the tactics is, that is, I don't mind him, revealing it because of you when you believe in what you believe. You know, that's, that's all part of it. I've got a lot of faith in the judgement of God. And I think that we will get a good run. And as I said, it was quite hard to get my lawyers to understand it, because lawyers being lawyers, they always want to take the path of least release resistance, and then they'd want you to you know, plead guilty somehow or plead insanity or something like helpful friends sometimes tell me to pray and say, Thank you. Thank you for that.19:10
This is a problem because I know many I'm friends with many lawyers who have gotten to run businesses and they are very justice focused people who are very indignant whenever they there is an injustice in the world. And they're very stubborn folks. I've had many former bosses who who are like that who have formal lawyers, but this is you representing yourself in representing something that is incredibly just in many respects, when you are talking to your legal team. Do they? Like how complicated is it in the room, you know, with with kind of their what they what they have they perceived to be the cases and what you perceived a bit yeah, no, it's19:56
good question. Again, this is this is good territory. You're getting an exclusive because we've never really I've never really talked about this with anyone else because it's quite it's quite esoteric but it was edgy to begin with I sacked a few lawyers when I first started out because they were doing the old car mechanic thing when you bring your car only opens up the bonnet and he goes sharp and take a breath. It's gotta be this is gonna be expensive. So I had especially being a lawyer and you end give you all this boilerplate about how you know how hard it's gonna be and kind of imply that you've really made a bad a tough exam because the last thing I need is someone to bring me down and tell me it's going to be tough. I know it's going to be tough. Yeah. And yeah, to begin with my even my own lawyers who I love I love dearly and it's a bit like and you probably find this in the podcast world or whatever. You don't really need someone who agrees with you all the time. It's best to have some sort of reading in Yang I guess you know you that your partner is slightly bring something you21:05
want. If you want like radical candour you want someone to call you?21:09
And so there wasn't I think they thought I was a bit nuts to begin with and why I think that didn't take me very seriously. My 30 But now, they have I think that that is it, like in all good movies or whatever that we have gone. You know, the good cop, bad cop sort of thing. We've we've got a bit of mutual respect now. And I remember you're my bike and it's doubly funny because my lawyer is a former media guide, Mark Davis arrived. And so he's he's an expert at all that kind of area. He once heard me give an interview. On the radio, he said he looked quite surprised you say you're actually pretty good at this. So it's, yeah, they I think they could. We don't always see eye to eye on everything. We had to find a barrister and we and I was like no, no, you know, I wanted a real showman who's gonna go out and thump the table and Tom Cruise have a few good men. I know. I know. We need someone you know who's is a bit more sanguine. And it's getting by the Lord. It's so we have. We have a few. But actually, it's nice down. Things have changed. We have a genuinely good report. I used to like, every time my lawyers call me, I'd screen the calls because I thought they can only be like the headmaster, and only call me and tell me take the tweet down. What are you doing with them then now they call me usually to give me good news. Even though I still been that Naughty Boy am I still kind of screwed. They're called still don't take valiantly22:52
as we head into November. Are you expecting more press to kind of come with that November date?22:59
I don't know it has improved which is great. You know, there was a Guardian article as soon as we got the court date there was a Guardian article. In fact, that's how I heard about the court day was the Guardian as I was going through my morning Twitter23:13
page to subscribe a handsome man it was well that's my question to you is you know this is a personal question Dave because you know a few years ago you were packing on the pounds but now you're really quite fit you're getting fit because either a you're getting more pictures taken by the presser be you might have to go to jail23:32
when you're one of the terrible things is, is that they often show the fat photo23:38
I want to call him up and say that's a very old day.23:46
I haven't got the government telling you to do that. But yeah, I think it's a bit of both23:52
maybe this could be the first thing you say in court. Before we start Can I just tell you to members of the press please use more current photos24:01
and yeah, it's kind of a it's a bit of both I guess it's fine I've been I'm now living here in Bondi and I've got a personal trailer and it's which is I need because I do have mental ill I do I don't wake up feeling good. But once I go and do a hard workout and for those on you know a serious mental health for what helped me to go back to the go back to the past you know, go back to when I used to box in which I used to train at uni and it brings back nice apart from this sort of endorphin rush or whatever it brings back nice memories. But ya know, it's it's a good, good thing to kind of feel and look differently. I had a drink problem. I had an amphetamine problem I had because saying that I don't get too hard on myself because it was hard. The early days were really hard. You know, you'd come back and theories If and most whistleblowers say this, they say, you know, Jeff Morris gives advice to whistleblowers, the Commonwealth Bank was well, and he says, he doesn't beat around the bush is quite a good. All the beds are the general and he's always like, your marriage will fail. You know, you will. Your kids want to speak to you, blah, blah, blah, he lists all the things that are definitely going to happen. And it's kind of even though it's very harsh, is is his right and to get through those first months, because it's there's a lot of cycle and it is funny how we all have our own identities, and it comes a bit from work and whatever. And the thing about being a whistleblower is you lose that you're no longer a soldier, no longer you know, Ivanka, and you losing your identity is hard.25:50
So it's part of this fitness regime. Is this part of you kind of remoulding your identity or Yeah, resurface. Yeah, that's right.25:58
I mean, again, to be honest, trolling things you can control. Yeah, is a bit of, I guess, insider information. You know, I want to look, I want to look like a soldier when I'm going to court because that's what I still feel. I don't want to you know, people, a lot of not people judge you on your looks, but also, I judge myself, I guess, and it's, it's, it's a method of representing myself as best I can, I guess. Yeah. And also, it's the short term benefits for my mental I mean, I don't, I don't always feel great, but I feel so much better after I go for a run26:33
in this really stressful time for you. What, how are you finding joy at this time?26:39
I watch movies I watch. I'm one of the things I do with my seven, eight year old as I go through my favourite movies from from the past, particularly ones which you know, a bit coyly like A Few Good Men or we would send of a woman the other night and we anything which has got some sort of Last of the Mohicans, and we try to find things with some sort of theme in it. I listened to a lot of tech now back in the 90s when I had left for British Army, misspent youth or whatever. And that kind of becomes like the soundtrack to your to your own personal movie. And I've got that dog, which was annoying everybody with its noises Jake, who gives me his kind of is funny because he's sort of annoying. He wants a walk every hour on the hour. It's got some sort of unionised thing and but every time I go to bed at night, and here is little Steffi snoring next to me, it, it makes me feel happy. So that that is something I recommend, but the supporters really make it for me every time I read a message of support, and that's changed. I used to get hate mail saying you need to be harmed, you need to be killed.27:47
All those people are in jail for27:51
not doing so well. Yeah. And but now I get you know, people saying nice things and that an effect on a friendly John is the friendly juries fundraiser, because I guess it's on the front of the jury. I guess their comments are more candid because they're not talking to you. And someone said, Oh, he's got a joy. You can you could cut your bread or something. And then someone else said, yeah, he's too good lucky to get a job. He's a DILF and someone said it to me and I said it to my kids. And I'm like, oh my godI read another funny thing is the kids boarding school and they you know, there's a vaping vaping crisis. And my youngest one is typically she's like they she doesn't fight but she hangs around with them. And they did lock her searches. They did they did like a random locker search and sure her locker got searched there was a there was a vape wrapper or something in there. And so we've got a family group chat with my ex wife are the two kids and she was like I got busted today the locker search but they didn't have a warrant. My wife said brides are not scared of searches just said nothing so they do have a bit of humour funny
29:31
David, before you go, can I get Can you just do one minute of laughing for meYou've got such a great laugh. We'll just go one minute David McBride laughing and this will sell this on our website.
29:48
It will be pretty good. People they're my kids say that I could say oh, all our friends love your laugh. They hear you when you come to the school. They hear you 100 metres away he laughing I I used to be embarrassed.30:04
Just for people listening. Just press you on it. It's a genuine laugh, isn't it?30:11
I love laughing at myself because I forget the stupid shit I do. It was situation and my children are always laughing at me. They go Oh, Dad, I can't believe you post. Leave you posted that. I tried to get the one of them to come down and watch this watch you do podcast as it should be because it'd be good for your media career in real life. Maybe a comedian,30:36
come sit in my bedroom and watch me talk to your dad.30:40
Dad, think about the other ones.30:43
That's fine. It's like watching watching someone wash their hair. Well, David, thank you so much for keeping us in touch with your story. And I hope people follow it as soon as November gets close. So is there something folks can do to kind of keep abreast of everything or support you in any meaningful way.31:03
I've got a YouTube channel. I'd love people to watch that. And David McBride trialling it's called major Dave McBride. I'm climbing up the list of search engines coming up over the bloody actor. And I've got a GoFundMe as well. Which is something I helped major David McBride with his fight for justice. I'm very great. I've had a lot of support and I can't say this is one of the things one of the Silver Linings on this is that you you get messages which I get quite emotional. I've I actually find it quite hard to read all the beautiful messages I get saying well behind you, you're a hero, blah, blah, blah. In a weird way. It's hard for me to read it.31:45
This sounds like a tender day.31:49
Very well. But that is you know, that is really very nice to uh, yeah, a lot of a lot of great support a lot of really good people in Australia and most of all, most of it has actually come from independent media from people like yourself friendly jordiz A lot of young people you know, it's interesting to see that there's a bit of a divide in Australia now there's people that watch mainstream news and this and lot of young people who just only do podcasts and things like that and that's how they get their information that's if someone young comes up and sometimes people like a day cafe where we see each other someone came up last week and said I'll you know good on you and if he was a filmmaker Can I make a film for you? And that was through friendly joints you know that you know, which is fantastic that people watch that stuff and take it seriously and and see you and say hello so anybody any any message of support is is is fantastic. It really gives you you think I can you get some wonderful message do you think I can go to jail? I can go to drug with with that kind of support. You can you can do anything.33:02
Great. Thanks, David. Thank you.33:05
The Oh fear is rational.33:10
Louis, I've got a confession to make. When I was young, I was very unethical. I used to steal mini DV tapes from Grace brothers to make films because they were so expensive like I remember being 15 years old sneaking into grace brothers to steal little cassettes.33:30
So is the confession that you're 97 years old33:38
No, I'm just trying to tell you some unethical behaviour.33:41
Oh right. Okay, now it's your turn. Well, when I was 15 I did some human trafficking I regret it I really do regret33:54
a big report came out from for market forces his way to say that a whole bunch of super funds were invested in unethical behaviour including including some of the top a super funds invested in fossil fuels. The super fund that looks after our show Australian ethical doesn't do any of that and they don't do any human trafficking which Lewis has a real beanies bonnet about He really hates Lu human trafficking on a scale of one to 10 Where is human trafficking for you Louis?34:20
Well, it's not I mean, obviously, now that I've put my own human trafficking past behind me I just It blows my mind that there could be a superfund out there a building in Australia with a big super name on it and somewhere they are dealing with money that has in some way touched human trafficking. It is mind blowing to me and have a think about that and have something about your super because can you imagine if the money in your account some way touched that trade?34:53
Yeah, crazy. You know as big as you know, as a beginner human trafficking Santa Claus. You know those gnomes you know, they come from far away.35:00
I did not know the elves.35:03
Those elves35:06
and they're not they're not Cubans I'm not saying you know I don't want to get into species35:11
don't get into semantics. This is not the David asshole podcast35:16
fun anagram of elves if you get a free subscription to this35:22
big thank you to Australian ethical for supporting the podcast. Oh hello everyone yayround of applause We haven't even done anything. It's fantastic joy. We recording a live podcast of our shows. So you are an integral part of the show. So it's important to clap and cheer and laugh at all the jokes no matter the quality of the jokes. Yeah,
35:49
that's right. Yes, like, move that person to the front. Yeah, well, we've got a seat down here for you. Particularly at the top. At the very start of the show. Dan likes to start the show with three big jokes. terrible jokes very, very in quality.36:05
And they are wafting. Terrible, yeah, really.36:08
For his sake. I beg if you clap and Chi just pretend they're really good.36:15
It's a format point of the show. We want to we want to be as close to the weekly as possible.36:22
It's gonna be a really fun show. This is an incredible house. And let's firstly just give it a huge round of applause. Yeah, carriage works with festival genius idea.36:29
Yeah. Thanks for having us here. On den.36:32
And I'm Louis. Yeah.36:33
And we'll introduce these folks in a second. All right, great. I'm recording my own of irrational fear on Gadigal land in the Euro nation. Sovereignty was never seated. We need a treaty. Let's start the show.36:44
A rational fear contains naughty words like bricks. Canberra. Fed COMM And section 40 of our rational view recommended listening by immature audiences.36:57
leaked documents show that top defence officials were kept in the dark about submarine contracts. When asked about it, Scott Morrison said he wouldn't talk about ongoing underwater matters. And in order to increase transparency, Anthony Albanese ordered all government ministers to leave their dream journals unlocked. And Governor General David Hurley becomes a Patreon supporter of irrational fear. No jokes. He is the best Governor General ever. Viva la Governor General. It's the 17th of September 2022. And you'll if you're listening to this it means I'm in a secret prison in Tuggeranong. This is a rationalWelcome to rational fear. I'm your host former sovereign Daniel itch and this is the show live at the Festival of Dangerous Ideas. This is the podcast where we make fun of the toughest topics because you know if we don't we try. Let's meet our fear mongers for tonight. She's been uncovering lies in Sydney for over 25 years. Tonight we'll ask her for her tips about how to lie to her face. It's the host of Liar Liar Kate McClymont. Now, Kate, it's not what we're talking about tonight. But everyone in this room wants to know did the husband do it?
38:21
Oh, you haven't left me with a foot to stand on.38:26
Don't be fooled by this man's accent. He's so Australian. He makes the rest of us look like immigrants from the New York Times it's Damien caves. Damien when it comes to learning about Australia, is there something you haven't quite mastered yet?38:42
You know, I just discovered what it means to have a smoko still learn38:48
and she's covered everything this year from Canberra to Kev tonight will be her toughest assignment yet, please give it up for Amber shocks. And as a cranky journalist who is more transparent Russia or Australia39:06
spends the metrics transparent about body composition that's transparent about ability to succumb to peer pressure. That's elbow.39:16
And he's the former Australian defence lawyer turn whistleblower. Now professional panel guest is David McBride. David, is there anything funny about the being the enemy of the state?39:30
Well, it certainly makes your dating life a lot better. You say, Oh, I'm a lawyer. They're like, Oh, sickness, my boyfriend over there. You say I'm facing unlimited time in jail. You must be doing39:49
really up for a one night stand. Very day. And he's a government employee who's seen too much. And he's come here tonight to say enough is enough. It's Lewis over Louis some. What secrets will you be revealing tonight?40:05
What secrets? Yeah. Gosh, I'm gonna tell you. I can't What can I tell you who's gonna win the 100 100 next year? The audience here would probably really40:15
care about that. All these people are ageing into the demographic. And he's on the paths and paths tonight is still in vain for the news fighters podcast. Well, this is great. Well, what a stellar lineup, we have got more influence and power on this panel than inside Scott Morrison's head. It's very exciting. You know, I don't blame him for signing up for more than one job. There's, there's of course a labour crisis going on. It's pretty hard to find good help. We'll have more on the Morrison ministries a little later on. In fact, we'll hear from all of our fear mongers in just a second. But first, I'm going to do a bit of a deep dive to set the context for tonight's performances. I'm here to tell a story. There's an island in the Pacific that is on the verge of autocracy, its leaders have acquired a huge amount of power over its citizens. They re journalists for reporting on crimes the state has committed, they lock up whistleblowers, for calling out corruption. If doctors and teachers talk about the jobs on social media, they could go to jail. And they banned reporting on certain modes of transport. So where the bloody hell are you? Well, if you answer that question out loud, you could go to jail, but I say because I'm brave. I'm not a coward. It's New Zealand and we need to keep an eye on. No, it's us. It's Australia. Prior to the National Security Information Act of 2004. The top three Australian secrets were the Vegemite recipe, the Australia two winged keel and Harold Holt's post Prime Ministerial career as a taxi driver in Bundaberg. No one ever talks about it. That's it. That's all the secrets we had in Australia, pre 2004. There was of course, our Pine Gap. But that's more of an American CFSR secret. Yeah. And the only person that can lose their job if they talk about is the prime minister. Everything else? Yes. Oh, because everything else is on the table until 911, which was or in Australia's case. 911 was the tamper crisis. And that's when the National Information Security Act came in. And then the She'll be right. No work and fairies version of Australia was locked away in John Howard's basement never to be seen again. Instead, we have a bunch of legislation that makes transparency harder than ever. The National Information Security Act is one thing up is the big one. Okay. Anything deemed by the government that is of a national security risk can't be reported on or it can't even go to court. And if it does go to court, you'll never hear about it. Like the case of witness J discovered in 2019, a person who was secretly jailed in the ICT, we don't know their name. We don't know their crime, their sentence or what they were sentenced for. The only thing we do know is what they might look like thanks to a court sketch from the secret trial. Yeah. Look around you. It could be could be any one of us and how we know they exist in the first place was that they actually were writing a memoir in jail. And the AFP went and raided their cell and they were so pissed off that the AFP raided their self to take their memoir away. They took the AC T government to court to complain about it. And then we only find out about it because a Judge Burns read it out in court, and everyone's like, what the fuck with this secret guy kept from? Then there was witness Kay a secret trial against a whistleblower who revealed that Australian secret agents bugged East Timor Prime Minister's office when we were negotiating Castile that was in 2004. That deal got torn up went to The Hague as there's a whole deal. They got renegotiated again, and then it wasn't until 2014. Witness Kay went to trial in secret in Australia, a decade later. Now, this should be concerning, because we don't know how many secret cases there are like this. They could be 1000s. I'm not an expert. But I think we should definitely investigate witnesses a through AI. Now, that's one part secret trials, right. A couple of other things you should think about is this misnamed Freedom of Information Act, because it's not free, and you don't get any information. Journalists or anyone who's interested can actually request documents from the government, but it costs us shitloads of money. And if you're a journalist, it can take forever and go past your deadline. And they're pretty much useless when it comes back. When news organisations have the resources and time to challenge the government. It's a whole process. You got to go through the Information Commissioner, the Administrative Appeals Tribunal and then the federal court, and that process can take up to three fucking years to do that which case in our hypothetical, that journalist would have been laid off by several news organisations. But on the upside is now working inside the Prime Minister and Cabinet so they can look at all the documents they want. And then this is this is the national cabinet, a regular meeting of premiers First Ministers and the Prime Minister. It was created during COVID to talk about what COVID? Presumably, we actually don't know because it's secret, South Australia might want to change the size of their rail gauge again and ruin the dream to boomers across the country in the Indian Pacific. We don't know. We need to know. We just have a minute song select joke. Really excited for that. Used to be called COAG. I don't know if anyone remembers this, the Commonwealth Heads of Government. But it was changed for two reasons. First of all, it sounded like a brand of glue. And then Scott Morrison renamed the national cabinet that so he could basically claim that all the meetings were cabinet in confidence, like the real Commonwealth cabinet, but it's not. It's just made up. Morrison just fucking made it up for45:47
now. He's a cabinet maker as well. He's a cabinet maker.45:55
Oh, that was good. Thank you.45:58
Thank you, sir. You're allowed to lobby you don't have to say that was good. But I'll tell you.46:04
There are heroes on this island like the Auditor General whose great work includes sifting through tonnes of Excel spreadsheets to find any anomalies exposed waste and conflicts of interest. Here's what the Auditor General has done in the last little bit. You may remember the leppington triangles sportswriting carpark roads. Yeah, pretty good. What an incredible group of public service heroes give him a round of applause pretty amazing work and what was their reward? Well, the Morison government defunded the pump by $14 million. Meaning that the Australian National Audit Office can now only complete 38 audits a year 38. That's not many. I think Angus Taylor has more offshore bank accounts than that. So yeah. I don't know if you've picked up a trend here. But these secrecy laws have been around a while but it seems like they've only been used in the last 10 years or so. It could have gotten into power 10 years or so. Is anyone who got their theory first public ministry 10 years or so. One prominent Senior Counsel Jeffrey Watson points the day that transparency died in Australia. Here's the exact date transparency died on Friday, the eighth of November 2013. It happened at a media briefing called then by the Immigration Minister, Scott Morrison, you may remember it47:21
the overnight incident. What's become a vet vote of asylum seekers. I will not comment further in relation to onboarding matters. Thank you. General, this is a great public intro we're not in relation to on water matters. Have they been coming further in relation to on water matters? I think we've dealt with that question in terms47:43
of making a judgement if they've done something because do customer Australia? Doesn't that mean that your tax base policy is kind of47:49
well, you've made a whole bunch of presumptions there, which I'm not about to speculate, maybe you can leave them up for? Well, you're the one making the presumptions that may47:56
be the case of the overnight incident is not resolved. And that's why more information is not48:01
forthcoming. It's an ongoing operational matter. And the persons that were at risk have all been accounted for. We're not going to go into the micro detail of these operational matters. What we are saying is that we rented assistance, and all the people and all the people have been accounted for so we can go around this for a lot longer. But that is the position. Scary what you get now, isn't it? Wow,48:27
absolutely wild. You'll remember48:29
that. You notice Angus Campbell before he became48:33
Chief of Defence straight after this? Yeah, like a year later. He was the chief of talent sports. Yeah, so if you remember Do you remember that phrase I will not comment in relation to home order matters, man it was unrepeated every press conference for like six months until the press got bored and stopped going to those press conferences. He was even number five on the hottest 100 of that. Which is amazing. Also, it was on afternoon game shows as well.48:59
The final question was $7,000 God ego take a look at this picture. What's the well known catchphrase?49:09
It's an ongoing operational matter.49:13
Close Hey, I bet the audience knows well it was.49:24
Sadly, Scott, you missed out on the $7,000 which isn't enough to buy you a journalist visa the epi you get anyway. I didn't get a logo.49:35
That joke relies so heavily on people remembering birthdays.49:41
Instead of showing the first competition shown as Geoffrey Watson SC put it, there was a hint in those words that it might have something to do with national security. But that was never the case. There was no evidence was ever produced at once the government got away with it once they got a taste for it. And that kind of secrecy is alluring and has an addictive quality as what's inputted to me by phone just like in sports. Once one side of the game starts cheating and gets away with it, both sides start cheating and we're already seeing labour hinting that they will continue on with national cabinet in secret. So this is where we are on this island today laws designed to protect its citizens instead use to protect the fragile egos of megalomaniacs we elect. Yeah. And it seems today, everything on this island is secret for no good reason as Damian cave put it, in a great 2019 article, titled Australian might be the world's most secretive democracy. This is what he wrote. The most recent expansion of government secrecy came last year with an espionage bill that increased criminal penalties for sharing information being classified, even if even if a document happened to be as harmless as a cafeteria menu. So the other day, I tested it out, I reached out to Aziz cafe, in the middle of Parliament House, you need a pass to get into it. Or the politicians and lobbyists go there. And I sent them a text and asked them to send me a photo of the menu and they sent it through. Fantastic and don't worry, the sources were redacted.In case you're wondering, they're the soup of the day is chicken. Yeah, so the guy
apparently got a problem for me to check. That's good. That we're very happy. So there we go. Everyone at Festival of Dangerous Ideas, please give it up for Damien cage. Thank you.
51:46
You know, thanks, Dan. When I when I wrote that article, actually, you know, people thought I was crazy, calling Australia this extremely secret of democracy. But now that we have a prime minister with lots of secret jobs, maybe it's not so crazy. And maybe it's not just the crazy American who's, who's saying it. You know, since I wrote that story, there have been many more examples, lots of which you went into. But, you know, I think it's important to recognise that it's not just Canberra that this problem exists in. And, you know, I run into it all over the country when I'm dealing with people as a reporter. And I have a small story, a small example that will show you just how much it handles some of the most important issues at the local level. Like, can we get this image perhaps the giant banana, giant caveman banana? Let me back up for a minute. So we have a newsletter that The New York Times publishes every week called the Australia letter, which is basically a reporter riffing about the news of the week with a little bit of perspective. And so one week better Odell does a wonderful writer for us and Melbourne said, you know, I want to write about this public art thing. It's involves bananas and frogs and, and babies, and I had no idea what she was talking about. But I figured, yeah, for sure, go for it. So shockingly, after it runs, I get this email from somebody that says the subject line is immediate removal of article. And I'm wondering what on earth this is about, right. So I look in and I see that it's about the newsletter, which makes me go back and try to understand what this giant banana he-man thing is all about. And it turns out that there was an exchange being offered between, you know, a local council in Melbourne, and John Oliver, the comedian who John basically wanted to take this lovely piece of art off the hands of Melbourne and trade, and give them basically some frogs with some legs that were open a little bit wider than his approach. And along with that, he also had some babies that had been washed up on the shore and Texas, beautiful babies like this. And so he offered to trade these wonderful pieces of art for the human banana. Basha was in favour of this plan. She loved the frogs, I think. So as you can see, this was a serious job of public interest journalism in Australia's greatest interests, which is why I was really surprised when I got an email and concerned I should say, and the subject line was immediate removal of article. I mean, that's a pretty big request. We don't take down articles from the New York Times, sometimes we attach a correction, maybe an Editor's Note, but take it down. I literally can't think of a single time that that's happened. And I worry that there must be some serious flaw in what Bashar had written. But no, it turns out that the person in local government had an email exchange with her about whether the dolls could go into the recycling machine. And she was quoted as saying, and this is the exact quote, I don't know what the dolls are made of. So I can't officially comment either way. She wrote that in the email that her name was attached and that it wasn't supposed to be because she did not consent to it, and was not an authorised spokesperson for the Council. This is Council policy, she said. So at this point, I feel kind of bad. And I'm wondering like maybe this is just the person who happened to be in the office that day. So I go out and I look on LinkedIn, and I discovered that her actual title is Senior Advisor for media and communications. We had a bit more back and forth by email and she said that she was when she was quoted, it was always without a name. Now Nope. In this exchange with special did she request anonymity not that we would have granted it. But the whole thing started to feel pretty ridiculous to me. I mean, here's a person who was being paid with tax dollars to give the media information, demanding an article be spiked because she kind of did her job with a weird nothing burger have a comment about scary robbery, baby dolls. Like really this is how far down the rabbit hole Australian secrecy has gone. But the thing is, I'd been around. And I could also see that this really wasn't just her fault, right? This was bigger than her. This council did have a secrecy policy for almost everything. And everyone, just like Australia has a secrecy default. For far too many things. As Dan mentioned, it's a habit, it gets addictive. She was just following the written and unwritten rules for the world's most secretive democracy. And I was pretty sure she didn't even see the context that way. So I tried to write back to her politely. And this is what I wrote. The problem here, it seems to me is the Australian practice of withholding names. In general, if you work for a public entity in a democracy, anonymity is not assumed you work for the public at taxpayer expense. And so in the future, if you don't want to be named, please make that clear in your exchange with New York Times reporters, and we can respond accordingly. She wrote me back and said, Thank you. This has been a huge lesson for me, in terms of dealing with reporters. Now again,56:15
this was her job. So she was she was the senior media advisor. Yeah, exactly.56:19
Now, I wish that this was the only absurd example of Australia's secrecy default in the years since I wrote that article, but it's not. There was also the time when I filed a public records request for some insight and what kinds of things the Foreign Investment Review Board was rejecting. I started out asking for companies and industries in the countries involved for every decision, I wanted to basically know what kinds of things were being rejected from China, in particular what or not, they said no to that. So then I just asked for numbers, lands statistics for which countries had applied and been rejected. I asked for ratios of accepted investments, anything that would give me any insight into what this very important government body was doing. And they said no to all of it. They just assumed it was a national security threat, whether or not China bought a dairy farm or not. More recently, and I'll end with this, I ran into a senior Australian diplomat at an event who told me a handful of mildly insightful things about Australian foreign policy. At the end of our little chat, he looked at me in the eyes and he said, You can't quote or refer to anything I told you. I told him not to worry that I've been talking to a lot of Western officials from the US the UK a whole bunch of things on this story I was working on. So the most that I could imagine doing was combining what he said with others, and referring it to something like Western officials in his eyes when Drew wide with fear. No, I've gotten in trouble for that. I've gotten in trouble for that, too. You can't do that you just can't. And again, none of what he told me amounted to state secrets, but he was completely stressed. It was like he feared being jailed or fired or killed for saying very, very little out. And that's really the problem here. The culture of secrecy has become so dominant in Australia that it muzzles voices and censors people who are responsible for this democracy, instead of recognising that their roles include an obligation to the public to explain why they are what they are doing is good for the country. They behave as if telling the media and the public anything is a violation of ethics. And they are disciplined with that priority in mind, stay silent, keep information private, or else. Don't make any mistake. This is an authoritarian instinct. I've seen it in dictatorships around the world, and it's toxic and contagious. It's an attitude that strikes fear into everyone and anyone who has an urge to share important information that we deserve to know. One more thing, though some figures in Australian life, perhaps that former prime minister or perhaps another member who we've tussled with, I think in the media quite a bit named Peter Dutton, have a far worse reputation on secrecy than others. But it is not a partisan problem. It's a political problem and a power problem and a habit problem. Even after Scott Morrison took on all those extra jobs, you did not see the Albanese government immediately promised to tackle the problem of secrecy all over government. And it's not clear if the Prime Minister ever will get around to dealing with it. This is the case even though countless studies show that secrecy undermines trust in democracy and creates the conditions for corruption and mismanagement. Australians really deserve better. My hope is that someday we get to a place where every official can speak freely, including those who have something to say about a gross baby doll washing up on shore, or a banana he-man public art project and59:21
I want to jump in because what you said rang true and I get it forget it later. But the they had a thing in the Defence Force about private privacy. I don't think people understood the idea. Obviously, you don't want people finding out about your sexual preference or whatever, because through some sort of a lake, but they took it very seriously. And we were in in dropping bombs on people in the Middle East. And I kid you not. There was like a senior defence lawyer. You're sort of like targeting this terrorist and you said to say a Hellfire besar they were like, I'm not sure we may be breaching their privacy. How can I voice the whole action?1:00:08
Jamie has anything else? Kind of you've been here five years does anything else surprise you at all now due to kind of around secrecy in Australian Government?1:00:17
You know, I think I'm constantly surprised by moments like the one I just described, where it's so deeply ingrained in the culture that the default setting is to just not attach a name or under an understanding of accountability at the low, low level. So that's the first thing. It's just throughout the culture. And then the second thing is, though, that I'm so pleasantly surprised when people actually trust me and do help me like there was one time I was in like the small town in South Australia doing a story about I think there was a it was a memorial to a massacre against the local Aboriginal people. And somebody in government, this was a very really big controversial conflict in this small town. But someone quietly at some point, handed me the small blue book, and he said, This is the phone numbers for everyone in this town. You can call whoever you want. Don't tell anyone I gave it. And I don't know why he trusted me with that. But I'm so grateful to those people who, who, you know, feel that they've taken a chance on me as a journalist, and I'm, and that surprises me, because it's so rare, unfortunately. Yeah. Great. And what was the diplomat? What was he saying to you? Was he saying stuff? Like, you know, we sell a lot of sheep in Australia. You know, he was like talking about like other leaders and like, things that were totally part of the public record. Like, I think he maybe he thought he was saying these brilliant things, but I'd heard all of it. But1:01:32
how much that has trickled down to normal conversation for I'll have dinner with a friend and they're just talking about that average Wednesday, and they'll stop themselves and they'll be like, this is off the record.1:01:43
Yeah, exactly. That sense of self importance to I guess it's part of the secrecy thing. It's like whatever I'm doing it. I think it helps people sort of feel important to feel as though the menu for a restaurant might be secret.1:01:54
All right, great. Well, I'm looking forward to the next secret spilled by Amber Schultz.1:02:04
Last week, I went to this really glamorous event called the midwinter ball. So for those of you that don't know it's in Parliament, and it's an opportunity for journalists to cosplay, a stage three tax cut recipients. We all go and the whole point of the event is to suck up to politicians and staffers and lobbyists. But what's weird is the entire thing as soon as you step through those doors, the entire event is off the record. It's all secret, which why you would have an event invite journalists and keep it off the record bewilders me it's not an ASIO meeting. It's not an August meeting because if it was Scott Morrison would have leaked the Testaments and it's not despite what Senator Sarah Hanson young seem to think Mitt gala event is the parliamentary bowl. You know, Australia is addicted to secret seat we've got witness Kay with this J lawyer X, you know, it sounds like a wiggle soul was Scott Morrison's ministerial appointments, whistleblowers a silence secret midwinter bowl speeches, it's absolutely absurd. freedom of information requests in Australia across the past decade, have been rejected 50% year on year, those that are accepted, which is rare, but those that are accepted return pages upon pages of redacted information, so you just get a wall of black and it makes trying to figure out what the hell is going on about as difficult as reading a George RR Martin novel. But well, the government doesn't want to share any information with the public. It turns out the public is really really happy to share information with the government. Yeah, we are we are a nation of dubbers. We love snitching It's absolutely absurd. And we didn't start like this. You know, Australia is, you know, our colonial history is a nation of convicts, and obviously the convicts aren't snitching, because the ones that snitched got stay in England. Our snitching culture is the result of some really, really successful marketing campaigns. So the government really does want whistleblowers it really wants people to come forward with information provided you're coming forward with information about Gen three doors down. So the first marketing campaign was Crimestoppers that started in the 80s. And that's been really successful. There's like 350,000 Tip offs per year. And about half of those actually result in a police report, which is hugely successful. And then of course, 911 happened and the government decided we need a national security hotline, we need something more tailored to terrorism. And conveniently, a lot of these national security hotline campaigns were released during elections because nothing else buys a vote like fear. So we had the if you see something say something we had Be alert not alarmed and we had if it doesn't add up speak up. We moved from loose lips sink ships to spy on your neighbour. It's normal behaviour. But you know, a lot of things national security tips obviously a steeped in racism been prejudiced. So Australia we are trying to be better we are trying to be, you know, less divisive, more inclusive. So COVID presented a really fantastic opportunity of that because it meant we could dub on our neighbours regardless of race or background or socioeconomic class. Its progress really. There was one example so there was so many people calling the police on one another often for really, really trivial things. One example was a woman she's sitting home and she sees a photo scrolling through photos and she sees one where she looks absolutely shredded and her bikini from a holiday a year ago. She decides to post it on Facebook and suddenly the police are at a door. One of her Facebook friends saw that photo thought it was current and called the police on Yeah, that's how much we love snitching you know and you're worried about Zuckerberg spying on you. It's not self gibberish. It's your old high school friend from 20 years ago. You know, we love snitching we have a dubbing hotline for almost everything. We have Davina dealer, that was launched in 2016. And DUBNER dealer has actually seen since the campaign launched, the number of people calling up about dealer's double, it's been really successful. Unfortunately, unfortunately, a tip off about AFL style way Macquarie's dealer turned up nothing but crushed up bags of ibuprofen. It's a real miss. We've got the job seeker job in hotline which was, you know, cruelly calls is not funny.1:06:33
Scott Morrison was ringing constantly.1:06:38
Which was poorly called Dolby in adult blockchain. Now that wasn't actually as successful because people didn't, you know, didn't really like the idea of dubbing in someone on the doll. But the people that did complain with small to medium businesses who said people that had applied for their jobs had lied on their CV, which is really funny because it just means the public is looking to John Barilaro and taking a bit of advice. We also were used to we don't anymore, but we used to even have a hotline to dub in mislabeled seafoods. That's how much we love dogs. Yeah. Yeah, there was a specific one for mislabeled seafood. Wow,1:07:13
sounds like a micro detail.1:07:16
crab sticks.1:07:19
So tip offs and Dobbins are a dime a dozen. I mean in this economy, who knows, but really a diamond doesn't. So while you can't know what subpar jokes Albanese staff wrote for him at the midwinter ball speech he can know about that job interview you didn't show up for you know, he can know about that crushed up bag of ibuprofen you bought or he can know about that weird photo you posted on Facebook. So while the government you know, wants information from you with only wants really really trivial trivial information, you know, try snitching about something of importance and you know, the same snitches get stitches closed or prosecution. Thank you, man.1:08:04
And, you know, it costs money to do fly stuff. But what's the most you've ever cost Crikey. In your career as a journalist,1:08:14
I probably set a record for the fastest lawsuit from a new hire because I hit three days and immediately got a consent notice. So, you know, I don't know if you know this. But crikey has a very long rich history of being sued for defamation. So I was proud to join that on day three.1:08:31
It's kind of interesting, like you're talking about between the bold and the inverse. The immediate comparison is the White House press correspondents dinner in DC and which is like public broadcast celebrities, everyone wants to go to it. And it's like, if you're a leader, and you're at that event, you are going to get roasted. And you if you if you fuck up on stage, you're going to eat it in front of everyone. It's like that is like the absolute icon of like that when you look at both countries, Australia and America, that's like transparency back to back. Yeah,1:09:03
anytime you're looking at America with respect and thinking like that they are more relaxed than us. Like, we need to have a good hard look at ourselves. It's like secret dinners for the whatever for the President and wave laws. Like what are we doing here? Yeah, but it's weird those because we there's a not a bowl but there's a annual invite by ABC employee like the a bunch of ABC employees get basically instructed to go down to Parliament House and kiss the ring1:09:36
to suck up tour, isn't it? Well,1:09:37
yeah. And so one no, well, one year I was told to go down and as you know, the face of youth as I was back then and and it's so weird because obviously all politicians hate young people. So they were just like, get the fuck out of here. But then they everyone was like all the ABC celebs are that they're trying to like impress Did you know someone who would give us money and they didn't give a shit until b one and B two came out? And those politicians were fucking bananas. Like they were all grabbing photo like they were so excited. We're just like, well, I just wouldn't got drunk with Costa.1:10:18
Those politicians weren't obviously from Fitzroy. Exactly. And but when you're around Parliament House lately, can you tell if there's a like a tone changed since the new government is coming? Like is there? Is there a different feeling around the press gallery?1:10:33
There is I mean, slightly. We've got the little, like little postcards that have the one 800 parliamentary support services number on it, but that they're everywhere. But aside from that, the only difference is people constantly if anyone like gets too close or accidentally brushes past someone, someone will yell Jenkins about the only difference.1:10:55
That's great. It's easy to make fun of the press gallery for kind of hypocrisy. They're under pressure from the government. It it's kind of interesting to see over the last couple of years how news reports have changed, particularly under the Morison government I don't know if you've noticed. Here's a clip from Channel 10 News.1:11:15
Here are the headlines approved by the Department of Communications on 10. The Royal Commission into how good is Australia has found that Australia is very good and colder than many estimates predicted. The Department of Fair go agrees with the findings saying that Aussies are getting fairer goes and more goes than ever before. And Australia's most prestigious honour the Order of Australia is having a makeover with a brand new category added to the list. So move over items and AM's there's a new metal on the podium. It's the QA, which will be awarded to the most quiet Australian and that's someone who excels at showing complete disinterest in the affairs of government and goes about their day, unquestioning the world around them, nominations are now open. So good luck to everyone. And in sports, Australia's cricket team are the best and they will win the ashes if any of the current deliver more than say the loved ones again, turning to the weather, despite what it looks like out of the window, it is fine. And definitely average temperatures for this time of year. Certainly not way hotter than usual. That is, of course all the approved news for now in the greatest country in the world. And remember, it's on Australia to not have private health insurance1:12:36
ladies and gentlemen, please1:12:37
give it up for Kate McLemore.1:12:45
Right, I am going to give you some tips tonight on how to avoid me. So, I find now that often when I ring people up, I can hear them and I say, oh, it's Kate McClymont here, I can hear them go. Anyway, if you want to be secret, one of the things I want to advise you is not to buy a voice distorter. So I did have someone ring up to give me some very highly confidential information. And they've gone to the trouble of buying a voice distorter and it did sound like a crazed robot. But the information was absolutely fabulous. And I said at the end of the conversation, thank you so much. And now I can get you on this number for safe forgotten. Voice distorter that number still came up. doke by voice disorder and two. If you want to remain secret, please use Australia Post snail mail, it's still the best way to send things. However, if you are one of the Abed family, and you are sitting there sending me death threats, please wear gloves. Your fingerprints were on the envelope and on the inside. So gloves if you really don't want to be caught. And one other thing I'd like to advise IDEO bead was in the past. When I rang his office to get some questions. He forgot to hang up. The phone on and I listened for 20 minutes, as they discussed how they were going to lie to me what they were going to say. And in the end, I had to call in on the office spoke. And I said look, Eddie, it's been so lovely hearing you talk about me. It's been so lovely hearing your plans. However, I really need a comment and I just heard them go off and they hung up. Another thing is that when a major crime figure has died, don't go behind the crypt at the funeral to discuss where the money is If this happened at many Macpherson's funeral, and I'd already been threatened, so I thought I would hide behind the crypt. But on the other side of the crypt whistling the McPherson solicitor, who was chatting away about where the money was hidden, what companies they had. So that was very handy. And having said those things, I do want to just take one moment to say that I am also an idiot, when it comes to, you know, giving my own things away, Louis reminded me today that I accidentally sent a pin with my location on it to the head of the Hells Angels. Caitlin climber is here. Not so good. Then I sent a photo of my ear. How would you take a photo of your ear and send it but I sent that to one of my colleagues who thought I somebody had cut it off, and I was. And then the last thing I did was that I did have my phone in my pocket. And I sent a whole lot of gibberish to Twitter. And people contacted me saying, should they call the police? Had I been kidnapped? Had I been kidnapped? And was this a secret cry for help? So I would just like to say that I too, like many of the criminals I cover. am Annie Do1:16:36
you ever feel honestly feel like your life is in danger?1:16:42
Oh, look, I always take the one of my contacts who was a detective said to me, Kate, don't worry about the ones that threaten you. It's the ones that don't. And I did get a death threat, death threat delivered to my house and it did have 303 on it. And I said to my husband what that's actually our address 303 And he said it's a rifle you really. And it doesn't help when you don't actually understand that you are a threat to your own1:17:13
house. Oh, so if we were to send a death threat to you, what's the best kind of snail1:17:19
mail with the with the fingerprints? And what is1:17:22
the best way to actually stay secret from me rather than you know all the mistakes? But like, How does someone? How does someone truly avoid Kate McLemore? No,1:17:30
it's very hard. Because the first thing I do is, if you come across my radar, the first thing to do is don't behave badly. That's how you can avoid me. But the first thing I do is I will do an asset search. If you have a company, I will find out how old you were where you used to live, whether you've got a mortgage on your house, how much you paid for your house, who lives next door who lives on the other side, what is your phone number? So1:17:56
is there like other ways that you do that publicly available?1:18:01
Just expensive. It's just expensive. I think I have the sort of an ASIC addiction in poker machines. I have that thing of doing an ASIC search, and my heart is racing. So I'm waiting to find out who is in that company with that person. I love it. Some1:18:19
people pay for Paramount plus Did you ever pull up video bed and try to read negotiate a mortgage?1:18:29
Last time I did bring him up. He said to me, you put one word out of line and I will go for you. I will go for the jugular Have a nice day. So1:18:44
most friends say Have a nice day.1:18:47
Cornel jail and I just think having to spend eternity with your son Moses. punishment enough.1:19:03
David McBride is a former military officer who served with both the ADF and British armies in Ireland and Afghanistan. And he now faces unlimited years in jail after exposing cover ups of war crimes committed by Australians in Afghanistan, yet he did not get invited to the Queen's commemoration. Everyone please welcome David O'Brien.David with unlimited jail on the cards, it must play havoc with your psyche. How are you preparing?
1:19:38
It's quite a useful term. At first, when I was first going to court and at a legal aid lawyer, I met a guy who was a lifetime prisoner with tattoos or whatever. And he was like, I'm gonna give you some tips when you go to jail, but I was like, okay, and he said, you know, you got to keep it very tiny because it's Some people's homes and he said, you know, said what's your cover story going to be? I said, Well, why come story? I'm a, I'm a whistleblower, and you know, fighting the government, I can't see what's gonna beat me up. And he was like, no, no, no. He said, they're gonna beat you up. He said, I might even understand what a whistleblower is. He said, I thought was you I'd say you killed your sergeant. And I made a mental note, I thought, I'm gonna get a bigger tattoo. And then he and then he said, Well, how many years you're facing anyone? I said, Well, it's unlimited. And he said, What do you mean? I said, it's unlimited. And he said, Well, what? 500 years? I said, yeah, maybe 800. I said, you possibly, they just had a bad day? Who knows? And he was like, You're gonna do all right, because he said, they might give you a double sell. So that was one of the1:20:54
when you went through the process of, you know, whistleblowing, did you ever think, oh, geez, I wish I hadn't had exposed the war criminals.1:21:03
And I never thought that I must have been, I never thought they will know, in the position I'm in now, where it looks like, you know, I could be go to jail for a long time for doing well, I thought was the right thing that I do sometimes think I've got to sue Hollywood, flick back, he gives me these ideas. Somehow that was the right thing to do. When actually, it was obviously a very dangerous, like1:21:25
a few good men, and that1:21:27
lets me maybe get a big class, I could be the richest person to jail and never get to be able to spend that money.1:21:32
The sad thing is like, if you sell your story that goes really well, as a feature film, that would be terrible. That would be right. It's quite remarkable what you've done. It's a it's a real act of service for democracy. And it's really astounding, that we all know what, you know, our defence force has done on our behalf. And I think we're all better off than knowing that Does your family know that you're a hero,1:22:01
you could ever be a hero to your family. And I've tried to, I tried to try to pull the hero card a couple of times of the kids, when they're playing after they kind of want this, they want more money for the dress or something. And I'm like, Look, it's it's pretty hard for me and I am standing up for what is right and for your future and your children's future and, and they go roll their eyes and they go dead. That's all very well when you get to get an actual job. So it doesn't cut my job. That's for sure ever with my ex wife. And I was like, telling her about try to break the news to her that the cops could be coming in numbers. I'd had secret documents that I was like, Look at scan or take you on the Defence Force. And she was like, Oh, that's wonderful, darlings was good. The filing her nails. And then I'm like I tried to make she didn't seem that impressed. I'm like, I'm really taking on the whole government. She's like, Oh, yeah, that's good, darling. And I'm like, she wasn't very impressed. And I was trying to get a bit of hero record here. I create exactly what you think you get. And I'm like, an effectively because orchestrate everything I'm really taking on the American government and the CIA. You're upping the stakes. Yeah, I'm1:23:22
trying to get a bit of a Marvel Cinematic Universe.1:23:26
She's looking a little bit of rough nails going on. It's nice, darling. She said, But I remember I've got Pilates tonight. So make sure you're home to pick up the kids.1:23:38
When you're going through the process of whistleblower what's the most absurd thing that you kind of encountered in with the authorities you know, what's, what's the craziest thing?1:23:46
There's a lot that this is you know, I went through all the secret files when I decided something was very wrong and that offence was and I spent about six months work at night looking for incriminating documents. And I've got download them all and gave them to the ABC and said look, these ones they're all selected. They're all I've highlighted the sections anyway, I knew these documents very well and I'd selected them and that's why I'm facing trial. But when I was on trial, they used to take us into the Attorney General's office and especially of us with all the documents were extensively to prepare our case. Were security guards and Attorney General's people watching us prepare our case and secret and the documents were there and they were like to put it to me he can't look at the documents because he doesn't have a security clearance at least classified and I'm like I know what's in the fucking the documents I stole again, no, no exceptions. You can't look at them. And so then they these documents is precious documents and as the time went on, they had to move them around into safe The security guards would come around. And I think they got to give it at one time they had to call us up and said, Well, you can't have the documents today because the consignment audit got mixed up and they've gone to a double glazing office and we're trying to get them back as soon as we can.1:25:20
Did they arrested double glazed1:25:24
rest of the Korea1:25:26
they came back and are framed. Well, David, thank you for joining us. I hope we can get you again soon before at least before or after1:25:44
everyone understand that no, fuck yeah. That's right. We're about to get dangerous. This guy standing up. Okay. Now secrets. We all have them. People on this panel. They don't like a much zeal for disclosure is almost religious. But I'm an agnostic member in the church of full disclosure. Bit like the actual church. Boy, do they have some secrets? Of course, some secrets deserve to be revealed. But be honest. Every now and then. A journalist uncovered something and you think to yourself, wish you hadn't told me that? Like why is it that we still don't know if the Queen killed Diana. But we do know that King Charles wants to be his wife's tampon didn't help me to know that hasn't stopped him being king. What's the point? You've just made me sad? I don't want to know these types of secrets. Oh, I haven't been able to sleep for years because of this. But people like you had to go digging around. You know, when this whole thing broke the other nationals MP who thought that Barnaby should be sacked for cheating on his wife was this guy. And then you know what secrets the damn journalists found out about him. They found out that he'd been chatting to a woman who wasn't his wife using a sugar baby website. And that could have been enough. You could have stopped there. But no, you had to tell me the sex. See rose? Do you remember this? When the woman said that she liked it Australian accent and he wrote I pull your clothes. Run my strong hands down your back. Softly kiss your neck and whisper get a mateI still shudder every time someone says g'day to me. I can't you journalist has put out an article every week that says all men still gross. The specifics are ruining me. And it's not just the gross secret. See, though, like this week, someone discovered that a glazier in Chile had collapsed. No, keep that to yourself. You know, I know climate change is happening. But I can't stop the glaciers from falling in Chile. I'd love to but I can't and it's stressing me out. Some things are need to know right? But some things I don't need to know some things. I just need to know that the people who need to know know you know you can just leave me out of it like journalists need to remember the snitches get stitches. Here's a dangerous idea for you, Zipit knowing everything that's your interest. It's a great hobby. Keep it to yourself. Oh, great. You found out that the Prime Minister had 10 Secret jobs and gave out hundreds of millions of dollars. So they were basically bribes. Oh, good. Good. Now I'm confused and angry. Oh, great. We found out that dead ship politicians are getting paid millions to move overseas when they get chased out of their current jobs here for being shitted them. Oh, great. Well, now I have to think about that. Well, I have to go to my poorly paid work and be competent. It's killing me. I think every journalist should be restricted to one secret per annum. On your birthday, you can tell me one secret as a treat 364 days to plan your next one. Just give me a chance to recover. And if you want to be a whistleblower, great. You can only blow one whistle at a time. I don't want to be told any more about all people secretly fucking there. staff or public like fucking the planet. Like I want to know the secret to cooking a good pizza at home. One that tastes as good as a restaurant. How do they do it? I want to know the secret to ordering clothes online that fit me the first time. I just want to know the secret to not being anxious all the time. And I think that starts with not knowing this stuff. Thank you.
1:30:28
Thank you. That is it for rational. Thank you for doing Lois and Damien. David McBride. Also big thanks to our new patreon supporters Kelly Katherine Jenny the news work Daniel Harvey Cecily Hardy Beck late official vendors IDs Jacob Brandon Aptech and our tech team here. Until next time, there's always something to be scared of Good night.Your fear is rational. That is it for this extra special Anzac Day long weekend version of irrational fear. Hope you enjoyed it. No matter where you might be driving around this long weekend. Big thank you to Aaron who pledged on the Patreon Mel ximo, who pledged on the Patreon I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. John Atchison dropping some money on the Patreon also Anthony bows Don opping his Patreon membership really, really can't thank you all enough for donating to the Patreon because it actually absolutely helps you know, we had to spend a whole bunch of money on the on the Melbourne Adelaide and Brisbane live shows where we didn't expect quite expect expenses and the Patreon absolutely helps putting the show together every week. Not only do we pay most of our comedy guests what we pay all of our comedy guests, but we also we need to pay for things like gigantic props like cutting and shooting and making sketches to sell bits of fence as you would have heard in the Melbourne show. So big thank you to everyone who helps keep the show financially stable and helps us you know, Mac rake which is what we love doing so please head on over to irrational fear comm Ford slash Patreon and chip in I would love to say our Patreon triple you know currently we have about 10,000 listeners and you know we've got about 300 people on the Patreon what would be great is to have 10% of our listeners helping us out on Patreon so please head on over there for the price of a cup of coffee a month. You can keep this show on the road also. Big thank you to rode mics Australian ethical and Jacob round on the teppanyaki timeline who's been chopping away for a long time on this show. Big thank you to Jake Brown, one of the funniest best producers about that is it for rational fear until next week, there's always something to be scared of. Goodbye
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Thanks to the 300 or so of you who came out the the show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival โ it was such a great vibe.
Gabbi Bolt
Sami Shah
Grace Tame
Lewis Hobba
Nats What I Reckon
Vidya Rajan
Lewis Hobba
and me (Dan Ilic)
DJ Andy McClellandWe cover the great gamete of crucial topics โ Gwyneth Paltrow, Murdoch's Minions, U2, Donal Trump, AI, Cops, and we interview the owners of the house that Tim Smith ran into. They were so traumatised by the event that they want to get rid of the famous temporary fence they put in place whilst waiting for Tim Smith to pay the bills.
You may have already seen on social media.already that we made a fancy sketch, and am auctioning it off on eBay with proceeds going to the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre โ it's already up to $3500!
If you chip-in on Patreon โ THANKS for supporting A Rational Fear โ your support meant we could pay for that Chappaquiddick Fence sketch, and for it to be framed too. It's an expensive sketch!
We also used a chunk of the Patreon money to pay for sponsorship on Triple R radio to advertise the Melbourne show, and another chunk of it to pay for a poster campaign.
It's times like this that an extra chunk of money really helps off set the Ludicrous expenses of running a festival show like this.
Thanks so much for your support! If you'd like to pay a little bit chip in here:
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This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical.0:03
I'm recording my end of irrational fear. On the lands of the Kulin nation, sovereignty was never ceded. We need a treaty. Let's start the show.0:10
The following programme contains medium coarse language and traces of nuts. A rational fear recommends listening by immature audiences. Comedians experts sloughing at the world as it burns down around from the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. This is a rational fear0:39
after losing the Aston by election Dutton blames labour for running a negative campaign. Critics say that's pot calling kettle black I say that start calling potato tuber. And Dan Andrews takes a secret trip to China. He was curious to visit the only other place that had more lockdowns than Melbourne. And the Tetris movie has been released review say it's got a lot of good lines the second of April 2023 Live for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this is a rational1:15
This is a rational fear.1:29
Yes, welcome to irrational fear. I'm your host former member for Aston Dan Ilic. Welcome to the show at the live at the Melbourne International Comedy fest. This of course is the podcast that laughs in the face of fear. And tonight's episode has fewer Nazis the Liberal Party, which is a joke, I thought I wouldn't have to write in 2023. But here we are. Welcome to irrational fear has too many guests, or that's what it was called. But Alice Fraser we realised actually has a show on it at the same time. So now it's a rational fear has an appropriate amount of guests. A rational number of rational number of guests. So let's meet our fear mongers for tonight. Out of all the comedians on the panel. He's the only one that's had death threats from the Taliban and quite frankly, I'm jealous. It's semi Shah. Semi now that the Taliban are back in power, do you think they're going to be a bit more chill about you?2:20
I was very offended that they didn't remember me at all. Like I worked so hard to stay on the hit list and fucking no one cares. No one cares.2:27
And she's back at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with her sophomore show odd sock which plays at 7pm at the butterfly club next door so if you'll have too much tonight, they might have to bolt as in do the Gabby bolts Gabby mode everyone. Gabby, are you worried that your name is going to become a verb you know doing the Gabby bolt?2:46
I mean, I would prefer that than being known for being a Sky News reporter. You know if we can secede, Andrew that'd be awesome. I don't care if it's a verb we can be whatever you want.2:56
should point out as well. Sammy told me backstage, his show starts at 650. So he's gonna have to do the Gabi bolt as well at some point, so don't try to take it personally, Louis, when you're doing your sips3:06
fucking kill you sound fair. It's me and the Taliban together at last.3:11
And our next guest is back for her second ever stand up comedy appearance since she did her first one last year on this stage. She's had more TV comedy appearances than the host of Australia's best comedy podcast. It's great shame. Grace, do you have any tips for Louis and I on how to get more TV spots?3:30
Well, it helps if you make people laugh.3:37
He's very king of Internet content. But tonight, we've given him an unlimited number of fucks to give. It's the beautiful brain and that's what I reckon that has his swearing ever held you back in life3:51
for him? Yes.3:54
And holding this show together with wacky clips and a shaker the hip since DJ Andy McClelland. And he What Why do you look so hungover today?4:05
I'm doing far too many shows. And I've quit drinking. It's hell.4:09
And coming up later, we've got an exclusive interview with the owners of the house that Tim Smith crashed into. It's true. Well, we'll ask them. How is that not the worst thing Tim Smith has ever done. Now normally, I do like a long rant or something about climate change. But we didn't have time plus the safeguard mechanism got passed. So climate change has been solved. So that's great. We, we no longer have to know about climate change. It's all over. It's great. We did it. Well done everyone.4:34
Do we just wrap up the podcast and get out of here earlier4:37
we'd get out of here. But this is one thing I do want to say two weeks ago led by a British antagonist Posie Parker and a handful of anti trans activists and what could only be described as a skidmark and skinheads that were in the street trying to bully and intimidate people against extensively being themselves. But on Friday, Melbourne, celebrate trans visibility day 3000 of you marched in The rain so good.Oh my god and it really made all 12 of Melbourne's Nazis furious. In fact, I think three of them quit so now they're down to nine there is one image that caught my eye I wanted to share with you one poster I saw which I absolutely loved and we'll get on with the rest of the show. It is this ring and ring and Rosie get fuck Posey. So whoever made that sign, well done to you. Now, let's crack on with the show with some overseas news from Sammy Shah.
5:44
So yeah, I just want to cover some of the big news stories happening this week. So the top story internationally right now, let's start with the most American news story ever.5:54
Donald Trump has become the first former US president to face criminal prosecution. The charges relate to falsifying business records to hide a payment to a porn star stormy Daniels before the 2016 election, that should6:09
come with a Star Spangled Banner playing in the background. Good rock should be announcing that story from the top of the Statue of Liberty while an oil rich nation is being invaded on false grounds. It is so American just saying the phrase Donald Trump is facing criminal charges for paying hush money to a porn star should qualify you for a green card automatically. That is amazing stuff. Republicans have of course rushed to defend Donald Trump even before they've seen the charges he's being indicted on. That said from day one, this is a political stunt. I have zero trust that this will play out fairly.6:45
But no one has seen the evidence. Prosecutors have uncovered Mr. President, though that didn't stop one congressman to claim the prosecutor could have indicted the ham sandwiches. He was hanging out on Capitol Hill.6:58
So I know how to spot a pile of garbage. And this thing looks like a pile of garbage, even without seeing the evidence here certainly is innocent.7:03
I'm not certain of anything except this. This is the first time in the history of the country. We've indicted the president. So7:09
he was literally handing out ham sandwiches with indict this written on this written on them, which is both condemning the prosecution of Donald Trump and his understanding of metaphors. Now irrational fear is of course, as you know, a truly journalistic venture, and Dan is known for being unbiased in his reportage. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for most American news media. So here are all the left wing news channels failing to hide their erections. Here's the aroused MSNBC.7:43
What a time to be alive, my7:44
friend. Really what a time to be alive. Here's the tumescent CNN7:48
are going to be glued, leaning forward to our television sets on Tuesday. If all of this unravels as it looks like it is7:56
here, the Bucky nipples of7:58
CBS, but I thought maybe would never come. I used to think I was a matter of it came. I didn't know it feel this good.8:05
And finally, here's the view on ABC in America, which is like the project here in Australia, but somehow even more unwatchable.8:13
I call it did you feel8:19
really is a celebration of the law. It's a celebration of the law and how it applies to all of us. Donald Trump finally won a popular vote yesterday.8:30
The judge that that presided over that case where the Trump family was found guilty is the same judge presiding over Donald Trump's 30 cows.8:45
watching the show made me want to suddenly root for Trump is very strange. Meanwhile, Fox News The GOP have swung into Trump's defence doing for him. The health stories done best fundraiser trying8:56
to destroy Donald Trump because they fear him at the ballot box to the Conservatives out there. Make sure you vote. If you got friends, make sure they vote if you don't have any friends, go make some friends. But you need to help this. Friend, they're trying to drain him dry. He spent more money on lawyers than most people spend on campaigns. They're trying to bleed him dry. Donald J trump.com. Go tonight, give the president some money to fight this.9:29
Look on a serious note though, I am sceptical that this will actually lead to Trump's prosecution, but it will mean a lot of ratings for a lot of news channels and a lot of money in a lot of pockets, which is a grotesque abuse of the justice system. And if you agree with me go to patreon.com/sammy Sha and donate money so I can keep covering this storywe have one more story. This one is about AI so oh artificial intelligence technology has already become quite commonly used in everything from spell checking to image editing to transcription services and students too lazy to write their own fucking essays. Chat GPT, for example, debuted at the end of last year, it has already become the number one AI tool used by journalists to provide a shocking twist to all their coverage. What you just
10:20
heard me reading wasn't written by me it was written by artificial intelligence chat GPT10:27
chat GPT wrote everything I just said that was news copy. I asked chat GPT to write10:33
remember what I said earlier, but chat GPT as well. I asked chat GBT to write that line for me.10:39
Basically, every journalist became like an M Night Shyamalan movie for some reason there as well, it seems like tech industry leaders are once again sounding the warning bell about AI and the threat that it poses.10:54
Musk and hundreds of influential names including Apple co founder Steve Wozniak, are calling for a pause and experiments saying AI poses a dramatic risk to society unless there's proper oversight.11:07
Those tech billionaires who have long argued for lack of oversight on offshore tax havens are probably worried about AI learning to become billionaires itself. Here is the human billionaire. Apparently Elon Musk,11:19
I think we need to regulate AI, frankly, because it is I think, actually a bigger risk to society than cars or planes or, or medicine.11:32
But he just say medicine is a risk to society. And God's only risk when that Tesla's that kill people and then explode. How is that?11:40
In their new letter tech industry leaders pose these existential questions? Should we develop non human minds that might eventually outnumber outsmart obsolete and replace us? Should we risk loss of control of our civilization?11:54
Why do all the tech billionaires concerned about AI sound like Pauline Hanson is concerned about immigrants coming to Australia? Really weird overlap. So far, it sounds like AI could do exactly the same thing as Facebook and Twitter and Instagram.12:08
Critics argue without oversight AI could spread propaganda and lies and eventually lead to anarchy.12:16
Maybe, inadvertently, they've trained us to deal with AI by softening us up with all of this stuff. And maybe this whole argument I'm putting forward in defence of AI was actually written by AI. Just getting it was I wrote, or did I know I wrote it. Or did I semi Sha?12:48
This is a rational fear. What is rational fear? based in fear making the saddest headlines and giving them a little tickle?12:58
Gabby, you are considering changing careers? Is this correct? Yeah. Yeah. Come on. What are we what is it is? We can't feel people in the front three rows? Is that why? No,13:07
it's just you know, you do one show, and then you come back to do the second one. And you're like, Oh, it's just all the same, isn't it? Like, I just keep writing jokes and hoping you laugh and then going home and crying. You know, that's13:20
but you don't you don't do it for that. Gabby, we do it for the money. Oh,13:24
you get money? I've never got that. Yeah, so I have been I've been sort of considering changing career paths. And it might be crazy, because it's kind of a hard process. For me, it might shock you to know this, but I don't have a degree. It's fine. Ah, and so I've been googling, you know, but I don't just want any job. You know, I don't want to just fall into like hospitals again, or retail again, or teaching children again,13:47
you want a job where you're respected?13:49
Yeah, you know, has longevity provides a bit of fulfilment. It's something I could do for the rest of my life. So I started Googling exactly that, you know, no degree jobs with fulfilment, something I could do for the rest of my life and something really weird, kept coming up the police. And I was like, Surely not. Surely you have to like you have to have a criminology degree to join the police not it's recommended, but not required. And so then I kept googling didn't I kept? Okay. What is the bare minimum of time somebody has to train before they're given a gun and told to protect the people six months. And so I thought about that a little bit more. And I thought, what if you applied that level of training to literally any other job? If you're a cop, you might want to pop out for about two and a half minutes.Kindig kindergarten teacher would only have up to F when they looked at their curriculum to teach the alphabet sir ajan would not yet have even touched a surgery. Six months yep, that's all it takes to join the police. A lawyer would be juggling four subjects on their feet. When on average there are 38 subjects to complete. A cannot yet defend object or bargain for replay. But meanwhile you can make arrests when you're the AWS police, same spare. First time mom is still too busy cooking up a kid, or first time architect is still drawing out the blueprint. First time taxidermists is still fucking creepy. But so is the fact that in six months of enjoying the hours Billy's a retail worker would still have a skerrick of their soul. The West Coast Eagles still would not have scored a single goal. Michelle has not been introduced as job ads today but you can look up kids when you work for us bullies. The age for criminal responsibility in this country is 10. When I was 10, I couldn't even spell criminal. A politician voted on the fact that many times and for every fuckup made they're going to talk about four slides that tells us the four workers still has no cut back to me, but I would not have that problem if I worked for us police.
16:24
Buffalo Lulla Lulla Lulla firearms Miller Lilly Lilly Lilly military complex Lulla Lulla Lulla little tiny birds for16:33
all the people I know that went into this career were annoying at best and horrifying and worse to be making them on an office worker still has not worked up to weeks in lieu of musical comedian just has this bot six months yet all it takes to own a gun make arrests and join me17:12
Yeah, Melbourne Please give it up for nuts what I reckon17:22
it's my favourite song Fuck yeah. theory right. That was a little experienced the wild world of COVID in the last couple of years it was heaps of fun I wash my mouth and Victoria you got us fuck I got locked the fuck up. We had three months of it I've noticed that doing stand up was like oh we were locked down and people are looking at me like back and now you weren't on trying to compartmentalise that and like it reminds me of something COVID reminds me of something and what is it? It reminds me of something else fucking annoying and that's you too when you laugh they've got a lot in common. I do they're both pretty SAS they're both fucking annoying. There was an outbreak of you two on people's arch and she is a guy I'm not sure you're aware of that whether you got vaccinated against that one. It took him a week to release a vaccine for the for the YouTube album Songs of Innocence wasn't a fucking anything innocent about it was a fucking attack. So fucking attack but I said it was a gift. bonobo isn't okay fuck and then had one I said it was a gift the edge said it was subversive and punk rock to fuckin partner with Apple. And so you know Falcon punk rock is on I think it's particularly. Yeah, look, I'm just a bit Sasada and all I'm trying to say is that maybe you know, think twice before fun listening to you to get vaccinated. That's what I reckon.19:11
I've never felt more personally attacked by a friend ever before. I'm Pakistani 44 year old man. Of course I am. It's YouTube and Dave Matthews Band. Those are my two big ones. Yeah, no, I know.19:26
Do you remember that Lutz?19:27
I do remember it. Yeah. I was never I was sort of I missed you too. I just came in underneath the banner review to slightly not much younger than semi but a touch. So I never I was and also I knew how to use iPod so I knew how to delete it. So19:44
I don't really get all the hate for that album release. To be quite honest with you. Not that I don't think the oven was trashed. Obviously, it was but I think that they're not hated enough for what is arguably the worst atrocity. Their short lived. But paralysing one person Broadway musical Spider Man Turn Off the Dark That's the only get that one don't we ran on Broadway for far too long even though it closed after two months.20:06
And YouTube of course named after an American spy plane which crashed and burned in the Soviet Union. Much like that album's release20:16
I think Spider Man the musical killed more people than COVID didn't know20:19
wow yeah not by March but yeah it's20:23
a high wire accident every night. Yeah, I20:25
don't I don't believe this spider man musical existed. It did20:29
not a truther its first20:31
preview went for four and a half hours because the wires this is totally true. You can go look it up. It's amazing. The wires the people who were doing the spider Manning, if you will. Getting Yeah, kept getting stuck. I'm really good with. Yeah, they kept getting stuck in the end and they had to keep pausing the show. That's my niche YouTube knowledge right there.20:51
I heard it didn't go well because they had problems with their web site. Ah, I deserve that you're absolutely correct.21:02
It's a bit like q&a on crack mousse is a Russian21:12
Hello there, It's Dan Ilic here a little hungover after spending four nights at the festival bar in a row. Very, very tired but I'm just here to let you know that Australian ethical has been sponsoring us for the last few weeks and we are so appreciative of them Australian Ethical, huge, big ethical Superfund. You know if you want to consider moving your money you can to Australian ethical because Australian Ethical. They don't invest in things like fossil fuels which we are pretty dead set against here and irrational fear I don't know if you've if you've picked up what we've been putting down but we are very much aligned. So big thank you to Australian ethical since 1986 They've been managing people's money ethically and responsibly and some of the most responsible things they do with this money is give it to me to make this podcast which means you get it for free. How about that? So big THANK YOU Australian ethical for sponsoring the podcast I'm gonna have a big glass of water let's get back to the show. Please give it up for video Rajan good yeah22:21
hello, use this one I think you're really gonna love it's a biggest boldest idea yet. So, you know how there's a lot of negative energy right now around like landlords and tenants and renters and those terms, right? What if I told you that we could manifest a cooler tomorrow if everyone stopped thinking of themselves as landlords and tenants and instead starts to think of themselves as land domes and lands saw23:10
what have you just to land on a land sob in a consensual relationship? Sexy taught? Yeah, ask play. Slip it in daddy. And buy it we mean your rental agreement. Of course. Don't look at the terms that will make master displeased have a complaint about mould. Find it demeaning to raise the question of your basic living necessities. Now that demeaning thing is the whole point you fucking whore. Hot Yeah, yes. puts us fuzzy is this it's your land don't shut up can't also. Polly that's a thing, right? That's cool. So wouldn't you just love it? If your landlord could own 1-234-567-8910 Maybe even 20 properties and be in multiple relationships with multiple land stops? That's beautiful. Don't put a limit on it. What are you some kind of food? Don't make me tell you to stop kink shaming and just learn to insert young word. Okay, so slay or not Slay. Slay Oh, cool. All right. Fuck you all24:32
your fear is rational.24:44
Please give it up for the one and only Grace Tame.24:56
I know it's a podcast, but I thought I'd at least stand up24:59
Yes, Sammy. That's polite.25:05
You guys wonder why you don't get booked on TV? Yeah, no bad. Ah, great to be back. It's good to be back. I'm so excited. But not indicted. Yes, as we heard first time for a president one would hope the only time for a president once enough for the Oval Office. But the bare minimum if you want to be friends with Rupert Murdoch. Yes, you gotta be indicted or knighted. Which is the only reason that him and I are not friends. That and I don't have any spare organs for him to harvest. Which I think is the real reason why he's had so many wives. Yes. It's like a 1986 Holden Commodore. Nine No, no original parts. Yes. 1986. Great Year for Rupert Murdoch. Bob hawks government made a couple of changes to the press landscape here. 1986 was also the year that Fox Broadcasting Company was founded. 1986 was also the year that a man named Roy Cohn died. And for those of you who don't know who Roy Cohn is he was the controversial lawyer for the Cold War con artist, Senator Joseph McCarthy. He was also a man who represented at one time, Rupert Murdoch. And you guessed it, Donald Trump. Yeah, there's that axis of April for you. Yes, Roy Cohn was indicted four times before he died at age 59. That's an average of once every 15 years. The rest of us go to the dentist every 15 years or at least it Malcolm Turnbull has got a new podcast out I saw recently defending democracy. Exactly. Delight now. All you needed was review neuroma.They kidding, we don't live in a democracy. We just have been conditioned to think that we live in a democracy and we're all participating in that game. I don't know if you read or saw anything about the Dominion lawsuit. It's just the tip of a very big melting glycemia. Hill and Knowlton PR firm in New York would cast a lot of doubt over that. Yes, Merchants of Doubt, I highly recommend that documentary if you haven't already seen it. They kept one line in there from a interviewee who said that he reads the Wall Street Journal because that is where the truth is. What? That's how they get you with the doubt. But the real irony of the pace is that the narrative they have been carefully cleverly crafting for about 40 or 50 years or so. Is to convince you all that anybody who believes in the greenhouse effect must also be a dirty socialist, or a communist. Yes, because it's Sophie's choice between the environment or the economy, between believing in material facts, or being Tony Abbott.
Like I said, Dominion tip of the iceberg, the actual documents from dominion and Fox especially, were pretty fascinating reads. It's a pretty big distraction. If you ask me, though, as if democracy as I said, wasn't already cooked. A clue is that both parties in their briefs admit that Dominion voting systems was just collateral damage. I mean, imagine being that many sheets from my pillow guy I to the wind that the actual voting system in a federal election of a superpower is just me. Yeah, the first page of Fox brief was textbook coercion. Nevermind Rupert Murdoch's half a century or so of propaganda and corrupt tos and denialism. They open with a list of all the good things that Fox has on offer. That's called bribery.
We've got Fox Sports, we've got Fox entertainment, and we've got Bob's Burgers
Now, remember, that is I might take him away from me, you wouldn't want.
Yeah, well, you also had George Pell as a columnist for the Australian. John Howard made Peter Hollingworth, the Governor General. Yeah blue. Statistically, in Australia, if you are an alleged paedophile, you are more likely to be platformed by Rupert Murdoch than you are to go to prison. Yes, very sad. Very sad indeed. And we've got a man who likes to nibble on raw onions now working for a climate change denial Think Tank. Yeah, and that might just be my new favourite oxymoron. Soon to be a literal tank, because the glaciers will melt faster than any logical thoughts will come out of that place.
Is budgie smugglers might come in handy after all tiny pretty feeble crew, I reckon. You know, when it comes to frontman, my lawyer says that I have to preface this next part with
I think, allegedly, in my honest opinion. This cruel frontman, I like the Nickelback of organised crime.
And I have to say that because I'm seriously concerned that Nickelback are going to try to sue me. Thank you
32:46
as well, as the ribbon is getting married again at age 92.32:54
I believe in love32:56
at that age, like why would you even bother getting married? You know, other than the organs obviously, like fucking Dan,33:02
say, maybe he doesn't think you'll actually make it to the ceremony. He just wants one fucking Sikh bucks night.33:08
Oh my god, awesome. People are gonna get murdered on an island that he's33:15
white lotus, it's set near us. That was really good.33:19
Does he take the blue pill or the red pill?33:24
The red ones a blood thinner.33:26
He cuts them in half and takes them both at the same time as per his doctor.33:30
Other than money like why would you get married to rip a murderer?33:34
You don't want to live in sin any longer. Have the Lord33:41
masochism? We'll do it too.33:46
Well, right now we have to say goodbye to Gabby and Sammy. They gotta go to their shows.33:51
I don't have to do my show. I just don't want to see Louis.33:55
Please give them a round of getting to hang out after you can move downa seats two seats for you net. Down two seats. That'd be great. All right. Great. Because you're gonna make room for two more people. But before bring them out. I want to before we bring them out.
34:11
Do you want me to?34:12
Yeah. Can you play soccer? Yeah. Can you play Happy Birthday? No. Because there's a young man who's come to his first comedy show. His name's Bo it's his first birthday. It's his first time at a comedy show. Teens birthdayis Bo here Oh, he's out the back. He's on the back. Happy birthday. We did that time to sing happy birthday with too many guests.
34:46
Fedora edited remix perhaps day.34:51
Them All right. Let's quickly tell the story. Now. Melbourne's got a few iconic structures and that bring joy to people's lives every day. You've got the Montague Street Bridge. You've got the yellow peril. Then of course, there's the wonderful Melbourne eye, which, which people can permanently get joy from now, and I'm afraid though Melbourne, you're about to lose one of your most magnificent structures. Yes, it's time to break the news here, that the fence that Tim Smith ran into has been repaired. Yeah, for those of you who don't know, Victorian, liberal state MP, Tim Smith and 2021 drove through a fence in and into the side of a house with a blood alcohol rating of more than two times the legal limit. That's also how he got stuck into Parliament as well. He's been unable to reverse out of there to tell us the story of what the hell happened. We're joined by the owners of said house that Tim crash into Please give it up for Simone and Mike Simone and Mike, come on out here. We're gonna say welcome. Now, as quickly as you can tell us the story of this night, like what happened?36:14
Well, 17 months ago, 9pm. On a Saturday night, we were watching Love Island, UK or something. And36:23
anyway, we already know they're telling the truth, because no one would admit that if it was a lie,36:26
yeah, they were already expecting a car or experienced car crash.36:30
But we heard a car hurtling towards the house and slammed, you know, said shoot, it's hit the house, and went outside and saw the car and a guy spinning his wheels trying to reverse it and out, jumping in and out asking us to help him. I said we're getting away from this anyway. Two hours later, he's arrested. We had no idea who it was at that stage.36:54
Wow. So did you go and try and meet this guy and try and find out who he is?36:58
No, we were approached by a woman alleging to be his GP who came over?37:06
Just just she's just walking the dog. Oh, yeah. Oh, no.37:10
Most people are waiting five weeks to see your GP. Just got in the backseat?37:17
A minute away every time he crashes. And yes, so she came and spoke to us on his behalf. And what did what did she say? She taught she gave me his pas number and said that his pa would get in touch. And when I asked what the drivers name was, she said, Tim Smith. And it was so strange. I thought he she made this name up. Yes, Tim's in Smith.37:48
So shortly after you Yeah, that happened. Did he ever kind of approach you to say, you know, I'm sorry, did he ever did he contact you?37:57
Not? Well, the next day, his pa called us. And when I asked how the driver was she said, Oh, he's, he's just she's just with me. Hang on. Like38:07
she called up to apologise to38:08
apologise on his behalf. Whoa,38:11
I imagine he was still busy with his GP who was right there.38:17
Wow. So he didn't even he didn't make the contact.38:21
But he was right. He was next to the phone.38:23
He was there waiting, you know, in case hung over.38:29
The sincerest apology, of course of all is the one you get someone else to do for you.38:35
So she38:35
passed the phone. She passed the phone over and then he spoken you know, was very regretful38:42
of course, that didn't say sorry.38:45
I can't I can't remember the exact word like a politician can't remember.38:50
You're You're a lawyer. I am. Do you feel like the non apology apology was to make sure that they never actually admitted fault at any point. It's probably hard to ignore it possibly.39:03
We need to put out here that Tim Smith was at the time shadow Attorney General of Korea. And he also he also has no legal qualifications. So Simone is actually more qualified to be shadow Attorney General tends to be lazy. So how long after he crashed in the house, you put the board up on the on the fence39:24
while the board was put up straightaway by our insurers. And then a couple of months later we saw this Chappaquiddick sign,39:33
right, so this is Tony Martin's tweet here, saying someone's got a sense of humour so Chappaquiddick for beginners a town in in Martha's Vineyard and very prominent us politician, drunk, drove and murdered someone and never really suffered the consequences was a bit of a big cover up at the time. I did. I love this graffiti here because it's spelt Chappaquiddick wrong, it's missing a D but they've underlined the word deck underneath, so we know exactly What was going on there? So tell us like, how has this fence caused you much kind of anxiety having this landmark on your house now40:10
been amazed at how many people want to selfie with it. And40:14
not with you with the fact you get out of the way I want this inanimate object in this beautiful photo.40:20
Very odd. They actually just also let's take a photo of the fence on that you can you can look online, just get it40:25
to get there. So it's obviously all fixed now and you when did you get the fence fixed? Just this week? It's finally been fixed and probably you know, Tim, you know, paid the pay the bill, you know, fix you up for the money for that. No.40:37
Seems to me there's not spent a cent so40:50
So why are you here tonight? Like what what are you doing?40:55
Well, we just thought, a good end to this a jovial sort of enter this this sort of a stressful seven, eight months that we could create something good out of it. I mean, we already did and got him sacked. So that was great. But the second thing is that maybe we can get some money for charity. So we're going to auction off the fence.41:16
Fantastic. Here at irrational fear. We had it mounted and framed. And it is ready to auction look at it. Thank you, Louis. Look at that beautiful feds. Oh my God, what do you think of it? What do you think of this?41:33
I think it looks great on I'm bidding.41:37
Well, in order to help the auction, we have actually created an ad. With the voiceover courtesy of the one and only Tony Martin. Here's the ad we're going to use to kind of get this auction going.41:49
The a rational fair mint presents a unique opportunity to own a piece of Australian political idiocy, you can now own Kim Smith's fence cover up because he refuses to42:04
lay some time to reflect on reflecting on my position.42:09
I'm reflecting on my position made from 100% Bunnings particle board collect a piece of the sheet that covered up a hole in the fence created by a drink driving Tim Smith, maybe the worst Victorian liberal ever, if it wasn't for the whole Nazi thing. In terms of fence cover ups, it's one of the dumbest ever presented for sale to the Australian public. Like its namesake, the particle board is of low value painted on your wall as a warning about the dangers of mixing privilege and alcohol. Sit it in your dining room where your guests can be as intoxicated as someone who had a skinful and drove through a fence on their way home. Or simply put it out in the scrap heap of history where it belongs. proceeds from the sale of Tim Smith's fence cover up we'll go to the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre. Remember, if you drink and drive through a fence, you're a bloody idiot.43:12
Fantastic. So good. Everyone, get your phones out now scan this QR code or take a second here. Maybe got some scanning music Andy,43:23
I was thinking something to get us more closely emotionally related to the fence.43:32
No, take it away, Andy. No, no.43:36
Am I running an auction now?43:38
No, I'd be singing43:43
again, so. Here we all know this standard very odd man Andrew. I can't believe we don't all know this pre verbal stand.43:55
So please take a shot of that and tweet it, put it on Facebook, share it with your friends, we need to get this auction going online. It's only been up for a day. It's gonna be up for 10 days. And it's already had $100 put on it and he put it up last night. I think I started at 30 bucks and someone's already bid 100 bucks. So that is amazing. So please get the information out there. So please also give it up for Mike and Simone. And to take us out. Louis haba ladies and gentlemen.44:30
smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth start.Thank you so much. Thank you, Andy. Thank you, Dan. Thank you everybody. As usual at the end of the show. It falls upon me to take on the issue. Everyone's been too scared to touch because on Friday, the world witnessed one of the most explosive moments in the history of us justice. Oh no, not that one. Not Trump. Know this. Yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow and The Curious Case of the skiing incident. How many people here followed the Gwyneth Paltrow trial? Yes. Couple of fellow fans. It was so tense. Would she be found innocent? Oh, would she be found guilty. But those who don't know the case, I'll try to catch you up on it as quickly as possible. Here on a Utah ski slope. We see Terry Sanderson, a 74 year old retired optometrist. Here we see Gwyneth Paltrow, Academy Award winning snake oil merchant. Here on the side, we see the Paltrow children, Apple Mosers, and another one with a fucking insane name. Now, Terry Sanderson here Your Honour, has accused Ms. Paltrow have running into the back of him. Gwyneth Paltrow is counted claiming the Terry Sanderson scene here, in fact, crashed into the back of her Welcome to Lauren order VIP. I love this trial. I loved it so much. It was good. It's most enjoyable low stakes drama since Shakespeare in Love the whole case was just rich people bullshit. It was like watching a polo player. Sue is own horse. Terry Sanderson was originally suing Gwyneth Paltrow for $3 million for broken ribs, brain injury and damages. What kind of damages? Did Terry Sanderson suffer? I'm glad you asked. He was no longer able to enjoy wine tastings. Now Gwyneth Paltrow was countersuing him for a symbolic $1. Now, what was her suffering that made she had to do the countersue It's
47:24
unfair that Mr. Sanderson has brought this case against you? I do. And he has deterred you from enjoying the rest of what was a very expensive vacation.47:37
While I lost half a day of skiing.47:45
Sad stuff. I actually think Gwyneth is much tougher than she's pretending to be here. I do kind of think you can handle anything if you've been on several seasons of Glee. But Sandersons lawyers actually used this $1 symbolic claim to try to track Gwyneth in a lie. They wanted her to admit that she stole the idea from alleged friend Taylor Swift, which Gwyneth Paltrow denies roll tape. Are you good friends with Taylor Swift?48:15
No. overruled,48:18
you're not good friends with Taylor Swift.48:20
I would not say we're good friends. We are friendly. I take my kids. I've taken my kids to one of her concerts before, but we don't talk very often.48:32
Now in a deeply unreliable court case. This was a moment I could actually understand, because there's the Triple J employee. I too, had had to downplay my relationship with Taylor Swift. On Friday, the court found in favour of Gwyneth Paltrow go innocent and she got her $1 Justice was served. Or was it because I think maybe Johnny law Mr. Trick here, because Sure, Gwyneth isn't guilty of hitting an idiot on a mountain. But that doesn't mean she's innocent of all crimes, because I think she should be locked away for goop. Their victims are well moisturised. Are you familiar with goop everyone here familiar with goop? For anyone who isn't goop is Gwyneth Paltrow is wellness website where she sells overpriced snake oil to the kind of idiots who go to court over a skiing accident. Now here's some of the things that Gwyneth Paltrow sells on Google Now, before I show you the first one, let me ask you Who here has ever bought themselves a baguette? And then thought to themselves Damn this paper bag around this bag yet? It's simply too crazy. Clean If only there was something that I could put my baguette in. There was a little softer a little silkier. A little smoother. Well guess what? You're in luck because goop has a satin baguette holder if you think she shouldn't be in prison for that yet. Wait till you find out how much it costs $377 That's real What about this this beautiful combination sitting and sexing device Now admittedly, it is a stunning piece. Beautiful for every home, but it will set you back $44,800 That's an expensive footstool ladies and gentlemen. You can pick up a cheap one for IKEA does the job just as well. She also sold a candle that smells like her vagina. We all remember this. I hope. It wasn't just me typing in vagina candles, who's released one. Now, here's what I think was a big shame out of this court case, how on earth how on earth did Terry Sandersons lawyers have Gwyneth Paltrow under oath and not ask her who had to smell her vagina to make that candlebut goop also does make some actual criminal health claims. They claim that these bodies stickers use the same conductive carbon material that NASA uses. Now I'm sure NASA sticker department is very busy trying to whip out this technology. But it chief NASA scientists saw this and called it other bullshit groups of course, they're famous Jade eggs. This was taken today they're actually on sale. So he only wants to get a jade egg Today's the day. If you don't know what the famous Jade eggs are, they are eggs made of jade that you put up your vagina. They were so dangerous that they ended up having to pay people out $145,000 I thought that will get a lot but just had people going. Oh,
52:39
there was everyone with a jade egg inside.52:43
Those people can buy three of the six doors.52:48
Now these sorts of court cases are more than just a little oopsie they're a big goop see. I knew that wouldn't but I knew it wasn't gonna work but I don't care that one was52:59
filho I tried to get an53:00
alpha. Okay. It's more than just a little oopsie it's actually a big Guzzi.53:10
No, I liked it the first time53:17
when I saw this lamp on goop that claims to optimise your circadian rhythms for the low low price of $1,300. I thought of course about Australia's Gwyneth Paltrow, Pete Evans. Remember when he tried to sell a lamp that you had COVID for $15,000? Now think about this. If Pete Evans who was being sued for hurting someone in a freak, rollerblading accident, I don't know would we be cheering if he walked free? I mean, you'd be cheering if he rollerbladed free. But that's just for the visual magnificence of the moment. But no, of course not. You'd see it as an opportunity missed to lock up a villain. Letting Gwyneth Paltrow walk free was a mistake. And I believe we'll look back on this moment as the justice systems sliding doors moment. Much like the head film sliding doors starring her how we'll all live to regret the day we didn't put her behind sliding bars. Thank you very much. Thank you. Lois is54:33
no feed big thank you to all of our incredible guests today. Andy McClellan, Louis have a great time. That's what I reckon. Mike and Mel, who knew where did you guys come from Savvy shock Abby bought, please go see these folks at the Comedy Festival. Also, please share the link to the auction. Until next week. There's always something to be scared of good night.Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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G'day Fearmongers โ
Be sure to buy a ticket to the Melbourne show THIS SUNDAY โ April 2nd
Failing that โ In your feed this week, we have the live show we did last weekend at the World Science Festival In Brisbane.
It was one of our best live shows โ the podcast doesnโt do it justice. If you were there and youโre listening back, youโll notice a lot of the visual jokes have been disappeared like a Russian business man from a seven story building.
But โ thanks to Jacob Round on the teppanyaki timeline, you have a wonderful audio experience.
On the podcast we have an elite squad of fearmongers:
From left to right in the picture that you can see in the Substack newsletter: https://arationalfear.com/
๐ฝ Dr. Jessie Christiensen
๐งฎ Mel Buttle
๐ฟ Dj Dylan Behan
๐จ Dan Ilic
๐บ๐ป Mark Humphries
๐ฒ Mandy Nolan
๐ Lewis HobbaIt was a terrific show โ for nearly 90 minutes (the podcast is about 60) we shot the science shi๐ฉt, talked about the harmful effects of Gas, if we really need Maths and Science, we all sat a science exam, we looked at cookers in the Northern Rivers, we hunted Aliens, and spoke about mines on the Moon (again).
Enjoy the show โ and come to our Melbourne show TOMORROW (April 2nd 2023)โ we spent a lot of money on the poster. (Sorry, that was the last reminder)
Cheers
Dan Ilic
Professor of Breaking Even
Melbourne Comedy Festival๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN MELBOURNE
๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN MELBOURNE
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0:00
The following programme contains medium coarse language and traces of nuts. A rational fear recommends listening by immature audiences. Comedians experts laughing at the world as it burns down0:16
from the World Science Festival in Brisbane. Rocheleau fear0:27
tonight's Queensland premier Anastasia paler shade has announced audacious Net Zero plan, which includes no working light bulbs or the gamma by 2030. It's been revealed that Martian soil may have all the nutrients to grow rice smoother the Mars rover. The next vehicle to go to the surface of Mars will be a sushi train and samples of an asteroid collected by the Japanese probe Ryugu tested positive for a component of RNA less surprising. The asteroid also tested positive for HPV. Everyone's got it. Live from the World Science Festival in Brisbane. This is our rational rationalWelcome to rational fear. I'm your host former head of the CSI roads department of compromise Dan which and this is the podcast that laughs in the face of humanity's biggest challenges. And we are at the World Science Festival in Brisbane. I have no idea why they let us come let's just call it an experiment and we'll move on. Let's meet our fear mongers for tonight not content with making jokes on stage she decided she wanted to join the Joker's in Parliament. It's comedian and former candidate for the Greens Mandy Nolan.
Tonight, Mandy, you're going to be talking about conspiracy theories. What's your favourite?
1:59
My favourite would be when someone put on the community Facebook page where I live asking for a diet of how to get the trackers out of the meat I love that one.2:14
All right now you would have seen her on the 100 you would have seen her and would I lie to you you would have seen her and question everything. But to anyone under the age of 30. She provides the moral authority that is mom on tick tock Please give it up a male bottlenow you're gonna be talking through science and maths as they are a core part of the STEM education system. But are they necessary? No, not at all. And he is one of Australia's most powerful satirical comedians, which is why the government tells the ABC that he can only perform once a fortnight for two minutes at a time from 730 It's Mark Humphries.
Mark Mark if the government were allowed you to perform once a week on the ABC what would happen? Oh, the
3:07
colonists News Corp would lose their mind and here3:12
is your they haven't lost them.3:15
After the New South Wales election, they've lost nearly everything. Oh look at the oil the inside audience I've come to love3:25
I'm sorry. That is disgusting. Pig like filthy Newscorp column is sitting on this very panel tonight. Oh, we forgot. Yeah, let me be a little lefty conference.3:40
I've always thought you were a mole. Alright, here we go. Next. fear monger has a very particular set of skills that she's acquired over a very long career skills and make her a nightmare. For undiscovered planets. She's discovered more planets than any woman alive or dead. She is Jessie Christian.Dr. Jesse Christmas in my mistake. The good doctor tell us if you're a planet out there, what's the best way to stay hidden?
4:13
Well, I think we're going to hear about some gas stove controversy tonight. And most plants that we found have a lot of gas. So I would just say dump that gas as fast as4:21
good policy everywhere dump that gas. And when it comes to science and Triple J, there's only one man that comes to mind. And that's Dr. Carr. And our next guest has met Dr. Carl Lewis. How is this true? You've met Dr. Carr.4:41
I had met Dr. Carl, but he has faced blindness. He hasn't remembered me one.4:48
That's right, proceed for next year or something like that.4:50
Then we leave those sorts of words to the side.4:56
Up on stage tonight we've got DJ Dylan bein from the news fighters podcast. Coming up later in the podcast, we're gonna be grilling Jesse about aliens and the most affordable places to buy a home in the universe. But first here is a message from this week's sponsor.5:13
irrational fear and audible presents David Attenborough reading the AR six report from the IPCC uncensored, unplanned and unhinged human activities, principally through emissions of greenhouse gases have unequivocally caused global warming. You see, I told you I fucking told the moment the BAFTA award winning naturalists brain explodes with global surface temperatures reaching 1.1 degrees centigrade. How many fucking documentaries do I need to fucking make? Experience the frustration of someone who's given their life to the pursuit of truth. In the face of unbridled capitalism, D. Rapid and sustained reductions in greenhouse gas emissions would lead to a discernible slowdown in global warming within around two decades discernible. I'll be dead to fucking How about I give you all a discernible reduction in meat. It's what could be David Attenborough's last great audio book. Oh, fuck it. That's it. I'm getting into crypto. Now available on Audible, download the app and start listening today.6:27
The only podcast made entirely by artificial intelligence.6:34
Russia, oh,6:35
via this week's first fear the culture was evolving. No one does culture was like Americans. And now there's a new front you can enlist in, you're probably familiar with all the other cultural wars and how they kind of break down the middle of kind of political boundaries left versus right. Democrat versus Republican. For instance, you're either in favour of guns, or you're in favour of graduating Primary School. Either you're in favour of universal health care, or you're in favour of selling a kidney to pay for Band Aid. Either you think masks will help curb COVID-19 Or you think drinking bleach will. And but there's one thing that both of these groups can agree on. And that is the solution to most of these problems involves thinking and praying a lot. Now there is a new weapon in the culture wars or a new front end. Heavier, heavier, lighter is ready. It's all about gas. Yeah, gas stoves, specifically natural gas stoves. Now in January this year, when an official from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission made an offhand comment in a podcast that if gas stoves couldn't be made safe, they would consider a ban Americans on the right lost their collective brains because, like toddlers, if Americans are told not to touch a stove, that's what they want to do. They want to touch it. You can imagine a canyon, you know, like people like on the right going, Oh, if the White House comes to my gas stove, they can pry it out of my cold dead hands. Some of you laughed. But that's that's what happened. These Ronnie Jackson from Texas, he accidentally said that. If the maniacs in the White House come from my stove, they can pry from my cold dead hands. Come and take it.8:20
If you're touching a gas stove and your hands are cold, it's already gone. Yes.8:27
Ronnie Jackson, he's from Texas. But he sounds familiar where it says Ronnie Jackson guy from again. How do we know? Ronnie Jackson, the congressman and former chief medical adviser to President Trump. Oh, right. Yeah. This guy knows what he's talking about. Ted Cruz even passed a bill. The gas stove protection and freedom act as if gastos was some kind of like founding father but was like, but we're also an endangered species. And congratulations to everyone in the audience who had gas stoves having more rights than women this year in America. Well done. celebrity chefs got into the protests and attach themselves to their own gas stoves.9:07
In response to the Biden administration suggested proposal to ban all natural gas stoves, stoves, in households commercial kitchens, I have taped myself to the stove and I will stay taped to this stove until the idea is completely eliminated from everybody's minds.9:22
I'll be here nothing says commitment like sticky tape.9:27
That'd be great for his dating profile ladies a man who takes himself to the stove9:32
What will you do for your loved ones? Yeah,9:34
really like if you go to like lock the gate or something in Australia with their handcuffs themselves. Like they'll courage ourselves to the gate9:45
almost committed Yeah. This is what they're fighting for. Right. So recent studies in the United States and in Australia have shown that gastos were responsible for 12% of childhood asthma cases that's kind of comparable to living with a smoker and also when Cooking without ventilation, dangerous levels of gas buildup in the home. And that is comparable to living with a Sky News viewer. I think I prefer the secondhand smoke to be honest. And let's not forget oh sorry, Mel said let's not forget that natural gas is just methane with a new name, right? It's the product name for gas, you know, much like natural coal, natural crude oil and natural uranium, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, natural yum, yum, yum. And here's the thing. Natural gas is 80 times more potent as a greenhouse gas than co2. It traps heat, but a great, much greater length, but also for a shorter period of time. So next time you fart, please hashtag keep it in.10:50
Dan, do you know? Do you know where most of the methane in the atmosphere comes from?10:55
No, I assumed it was McDonald's.10:58
You're you're pretty close. It's cow farts?11:00
Yes. cow farts? Yes.11:01
The all of the head the herds of cattle around the world fighting all the time. And that's Yes.11:08
So you're saying we should take ourselves to a cows?11:13
To keep in11:14
mind, you'll have to pry thisout I'm just gonna put my tummy in here.
11:24
Louis, hashtag keep it in. Why didn't anyone tell us that burning fossil fuels in your own can be bad for your health in the environment. It's almost as if there's a group of well organised rich people intent on selling us a product that kills us how retro? Here's the thing, though, this is a crazy thing, right? The American Gas Association, they says they don't actually even want to sell that much gas. What they're interested in doing is providing the infrastructure to sell gas. What they want to do is get politicians to mandate the gas infrastructure be attached to every home as an option, because that's where the money is building the stuff. You know, in Australia, that means that's about 5 million homes that have gas pipelines terminating at their houses. But what about Australian politicians? What do they even like us? Gas Gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas. Gas gas? Yes, yes.12:19
All right. Yeah, I had to when I was young is banty. In the greens, we have to say coal and we have to say stop coal and gas a lot. Like that. 500 days on the day, I got to the point where I said, it's so much I have to stop calling gas. What have you been doing? I've been stopping coal and gas on and I like filling up my diesel Jeep stopping garlic, it's a win to an osteopath. And he said I've got to do a manoeuvre and it might actually release some coal and gas. And I know it's we've got to stop it. The scary12:54
in Australia, you know, we laughed at the bleach joke before but you know, during COVID I don't know if you remember this government thought they could stop COVID By building a gas pipeline. The gas lead recovery was something that was designed to stop a respiratory disease. I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.13:10
It was only it was only gas to the node though it wasn't13:16
the gas industry isn't taking this lying down. They've seen a lot of this research come out. So they've got the influencers on board. They're encouraging and paying influencers to posts with the hashtag cooking with gas. We've got some wonderful influencers up here who are cooking with gas, which is amazing. And here's this here's a slide from the campaign brief to the influencers. They want to target sub segments during key moments in time, like summer, autumn, winter, spring. I think what they're trying to say is all the time some are promising families you can see what they're actually promising these families like a 12% rise in asthma or total ecological destruction. It's hard to tell. And here is our theory some Australian accounts as well. You'll find someone who posts from block contestants, this woman doing gas fueled yoga, who she is, you can see her here in the sellout pose. And if you look carefully, she's got very inflexible morals. Don't worry, don't worry, this person actually isn't real. She's just a stock photo that companies use. It's really this is the most authentic and engaging idea that the gas industry has had since they released a rap video in 1988 called cooking with gas. I'm going to play some of it for you. I should stress this is real. The thing goes for four minutes don't worry we'll we'll get out of it before gas cooking with gas cooking with gas we all cook better when we're cooking with gas is so hot. It's not on when it's off. It's the only way to cook. That's what I was not accused of that he should have to know the past nine out of 10 chefs only cook that was that to say Can I cook my way? The benefits would have to tell her really make the day so listen last because we're gonna go back here are all the reasons you should cook with gas. I cook with gas because I'm in control. The flank could be a gentleman there are a lot of reasons to COVID Genki kids going for olive harbour just even hates it. She's crying already. I know I'll leave I know darling. But when you know that it's a real rap. They're the Full lyrics you can you can look them up online if you want to. It really exists. They press they've even printed vinyl. Even the phrase now you're cooking with gas. It's been around a long time. It's been in advertising for ages back in 1939. A gas executive coined it and gave it to sorry olive15:47
because that's her future15:51
she's noticeably upset about gas gas Waco. I mean, you're from Queens and you know there's a character in in Bundaberg. He dresses up as coal and he wishes the kids Good night on Channel Seven is like16:07
I think that's the man16:14
out of my brain went How do I get a gig16:19
so not in 39. It was coined by a gas executive and he got them on radio shows Jack Benny and Bob Hope and that's where now you're cooking with gas came from way back in 1939 1939. Remember that it was back when co2 in the atmosphere was only 311 parts per million. The point is is taken 80 years and this is slowly changing, right the narrative around gas is changing. But what the electrify everything crowd need is not more reports they kind of just need a wrap. To do that. We made one we found some of the same people who were in the 98 wrap. It was hard not everyone was available understandably most likely it doesn't go for four minutes so let's let's roll the tape17:10
cooking with gas cooking with gas making an ad17:13
that was cooking with gas17:15
at first I thought that gas was cool until I got held back in school diagnosed with asthma lung condition ADHD No wonder I could distract cooking with gas gas we've all got problems because we're cooking with gas carbon monoxide nitrogen dioxide particulate matter of fact my favourites formaldehyde killing substances are entering your brain because17:37
you're cooking in your house with17:40
cooking with gas cooking with gas our bodies are off because we're cooking with gas.17:45
On the big gas man tellin politicians to use gas whenever they can to reduce damages to a bank balance. Even renaming effects and dealing with gas killing with gas methane accelerates global warming so.18:20
Please give it up for Mandy Nola.18:28
Thank you. Something that Dan didn't tell you is I come from a little town in northern New South Wales called Mullumbimby Do you know people that judge me the guy looking at you all up yourself with your registered cardriving my immunised children to send to lay not a big lineup where I am. But you would have seen when when I was running last year I think was about a year ago. It was a big push because we had a lot of epic. A lot of conspiracist. Does anyone do you have anyone because we know them. Like I have a friend. That's one. You know, she's a fuckwit. But she's still a friend. And what happens is like in a city, like you don't need to keep in a small area. You've got to keep your fuckwits close. Close she like she gets freaked out like she'd go to me. She goes don't get vaccinated. She goes That's the government trying to give you 5g And she goes into self assembling chip mandates a gel chip that comes in and then it goes around and assembles in your body. And he's saying the government's doing this. She goes yeah, I mean, is that the same government that can't get fibre optic cable to my home? That government talking them up? Hey, I'd be really impressed. I was so impressed because I thought I'm gonna get All the vaccinations because I live in a regional area coverage is shit and I thought next time I come out for a campaign I can go like tethered to my tits like I'll be the human example of connectivity like come on but she gets this particular friend gets freaked out and I knew I drove in the other day and you know when you see like I saw I saw like a big plume in the sky and I went off the chem trail people are going to be busy today because she she would freak out every time I put a picture of a cloud because there's I don't know that can see this a lot of menopausal women here and when you you reach an age where you see a cloud and you went on fuck I have to photograph that people will want to see that on Facebook which is ironic because the sky is like the original fucking internet we can all see it to comment on and so I put every time I put a cloud up she's straight on she's bang on a gun. Oh my god. She goes that's not that's not a cloud bendy that's that's the camera and I have to say like she didn't study kind of shoot she didn't do so she's not working for the bomb. She didn't study meteorology or in I think she did massage at Tufts she didn't finish and she's always saying that that's a cloud you know that's so that's a chem dry so what do you think is happening she gets all this the government spraying us and I said why she goes on to dumb us down
well that would be a waste of sprite
it I love the confidence of a community like where I live like those 3000 people probably Max sort of living in the liberal region in the country town. And you're going that way actually think we're being smart with that subversive the government's like, oh, fuck, get in the plane again. We're gonna have to come on, Barry, we're gonna have to fucking spray Mullumbimby again
I just wish like, I've lived there for 2030 years and people aren't big believers in the chemicals, you know, as far as deodorant, et cetera. And I understand that I do get it but sometimes in summer I think Fuck What Are They Spraying because they just put some Rick Simon are in there
22:45
long as what's up with this conspiracy theorists in Australia? Like, are we seeing more of them because of social media? Or are they actually more of them? Do you think?22:53
I reckon is actually more of them. I've been there was a New South Wales election, I was out at the polls sort of handing out and there's some batshit crazy people that that there. There was one guy and he was like, the handing out for the kind of completely one guy's theory was and this is history. We're going What do you do? He wants to do logging. But he goes, what do you do about the quality because you take the koalas out, cut the forest down and put the koalas back on the stumps? And he told me he worked for 30 years in bio warfare, and I went you fucking did not. But he got 1000 votes. Literally got 1000 35,000 I just added a few I did my23:43
bio warfare is taking a while is that a forest and cutting it down? I'm putting a coil back like maybe he just doesn't know what by23:49
where I live amongst the hippies. That fucking his bio warfare. You touch a koala. It's done23:56
by koalas got chlamydia. So it's throwing koalas at your enemies a good way of doing Yeah.24:02
worried me during that the pandemic is that it made me think that actually maybe we are all conspiracy theorists. We're just waiting for the global event to unlock it in us. So that we all might have something that actually is our sort of our personal conspiracy. Well,24:16
let me ask you that, like, what is a conspiracy theory that you think? Sure right now it's crazy. But if it was to be debunked, and to be true, you would go I don't do that all the time. Is it? Is it one of these? Was there one in particular?24:28
I like the there's no such thing as Australia conspiracy theory. That's a good one. Have you seen that one? Yeah, a bunch of people in America who just don't think Australia's real so be prepared for that too? Because I reckon I've come around a bit on Aliens. I must admit I got a24:45
real How do you? How do you mean you've come around an alien.24:49
I didn't much like them at all. Now I've met a few face to face. Back to where they came from.24:57
Basically what happened is that they took towels up into the thing and you are attached25:09
no talk to me because I like services. The footage has come out of the all the pilot footage and the new tire stuff. I'm like, Oh no, they're real. They're real. They might be25:18
here. They're not here, but they're real. Well.25:24
What about the lizard one I love that there's the lizard people and the royal family of lizards. I just think, I just think and Kerry Packer was the lizard and I went talk he was he was25:39
I mean, I've been accused of being conspiracy theorists, because I've maintained for many years that there was a two week period in the 90s, where Richard Wilkins wore an eyepatch. There's no photographic evidence, but I remember25:55
everyone this is26:04
hypothesis. Science is slightly cooler than Matt's equipment used for the experiment, my brain method thinking in some googling. Let's try and press juicy. Results. Here we go. Science is defined as the pursuit and application of loading small bits of paper with your Bunsen burner without the teacher noticing. Wisdom maths can be defined as I don't know some shit about the area of a rectangle who gives a fuck honestly but both rely on logical investigation to solve problems but maths differs from science because in maths you would need to provide your own fire starting device. There are unfortunately no Bunsen burners in maths or excursions or anything cool ever. The most dangerous thing in a math classroom is the teacher's coffee breath, followed closely by the wrongly named compass. This tool can be used to stab holes in your eraser engrave your name on a desk or make threats to other children. It is alleged that the compass can be used to draw circles also sounds like a job for tracing around a cup to me. Big compass that's just one of the many differences between science and maths. Both are often described as being used to prove observations and model physical process. Maps can also be described if three equals B and four equals a. What does x equal? I don't know mate. I'm over here in science learning about how not to get pregnant seems a little bit more important doesn't it?Let's let's romance a bone. Sure. Maths is older than science. Okay, big warp. Not everything old is good at take my mum for example. She thinks that Instagram stories are being personally sent to her. She says things like carpet cold keep sending me photos. The rugs on my phone know that this is a quote from from Darwin, a mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't even there or boom roasted mascot that maths teachers walk home at 5pm with huge old headphones on eating a cheese stick even though they're in their 30s science teachers however, own a car and are often able to produce evidence of a partner. maths teachers have been replaced by Google and they know it right I'll prove it to you. Here we go. So you know in maths you remember back in high school maths when from about eight to 10 You just spent like every day on triangles all day was triangles, just triangles coming at you every triangle outside of a triangle inside what you know, what's the angle of nonstop triangles, right? Math teachers, they just love triangles right? And I checked out of maths you might have picked up a bit of angle there towards maths in my opening remarks I didn't like math so what I did was I just gave up and I just did I didn't have any interest in math my maths teacher called me out she goes male I can say that you're not doing any work and you've got a test coming up and we're doing like I don't know the angle thing of a triangle it goes you're gonna need to know this. This is a life skill okay. And I was I was in your town I was very bold I said sorry Mrs. Muslim he I don't mean to disrespect your your subject area. But what we're doing now with the angles of a size of a little fucking triangle is never going to be part of my life. She goes Oh, isn't it? Isn't it just this is what they love to do. They'd love to give you an example though. maths teachers love to go and let me give you an example of when you would use this right? And the example is always exactly exactly the same. This is example I give you ready This is what Mr. Muslim he said. Okay mil, you are doing some renovations on your house. And there's a little triangle shaped gap in the tiles in the bathroom. Yeah. And you need to tell the person that the towel shop what size triangle, you need to put in that little towel shaped gap and you don't want to buy a whole square metre of tile Do you know you just want to go down to the tile shop and you want to measure the little gap and work out the exact size until the person next size triangle shape told that you needed you won't be able to do that metal unless you pay attention to what we're doing now. Let's jump back to reality for just a minute. That sounds like a problem that can be fixed by putting a bath mat over
number two if I can't afford a square metre of tile How the hell am I paying for these extensive renovations I think we got bigger fish to fry number three I also know that if I need a very affordable square metre of tile to have a practice cut on to get my triangle right, I can just go to Frank Walker national tile and for 99 If I've got a square metre or fully important Italian porcelain finally I will leave you on this if I'm ever doing maths in a bathroom. Oh come on. There's only one type of maths that we in showbiz doing a bathroom and that is how do you split a bag into three lines. Now battle thank you so rational
31:40
female is something in school that you learned that that you've never used as an adult.31:46
We you know nine for some reason we had four science teachers in the space of a month something was like the drummer's in spinal tap, they all just something happened to them. And I remember on the third or fourth science teacher, he came in one day and said it was his first day with us is it now guys, I don't know what's going on here. But I get the sense I'm not gonna be here very long. So if I am here for only one day, I'm going to teach you how to memorise the first 20 elements of the periodic table. And he taught us this mnemonic which was h heliborne. can often no Miguel sips clock it. Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen. And so he was only if one day I couldn't tell you anything else about the three four years I did have science, but I can give you those 20 bucks and32:34
use that as an adult.32:36
I mainly use it on game shows and Mandy32:43
I think it was geography and we learned the three different types of32:46
rocks literally was gonna say the same thing. Sedimentary who has ever done this yet and Morphe Yeah, everybody.32:54
What about conglomerate?32:56
Oh, is that a rock?32:57
No, we didn't get conglomerate. I'm sorry. That's out.32:59
What about Johnson sorry.33:03
Sounds like something you get when you got IBS?33:12
I feel like that should be how all schooling works is teachers become like travelling theatre troops. Every teacher just does one day at school. And they go, here's the one thing you need to know. And then they move on. As a student every day, you're like, oh, we gotta get to that.33:31
You find something vaguely apocalyptic. This could be the last day33:35
what would be that thing? My thing would be please pay your taxes. Is there one thing that's missing from the school curriculum that that I think it's how33:43
to talk to tradesmen?33:47
Yeah, that's my goal. If you can't talk to the tradesmen you need.33:50
Exactly Oh, yeah. No, I think it's like33:52
learn French German and tradie33:56
go to a tradesperson in France, about robots but use the Sydney in Australia.34:04
How many coffees do you have to let them use the toilet delivering their own water? I don't know. That covered off34:13
well, hang on a second.34:15
I think I think I can think I can hear something. Oh my god.34:23
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, it's winds time. Oh, please. Welcome to the stage the man whose career is going so well.34:43
Thank you, thank you for that generous introduction of who you were. Yesterday. it's quiz time. And we've got some fabulous contestants on stage tonight. Would you please stand up remember poster contest?So, we've got a series of questions. Some of them are vaguely science related, some of them with more of a political slant. And the rules are very simple. I'll read out the question and a series of possible answers. If you could wait till all the answers are read out before putting your hand up, because that's where all the jokes are. Okay, all right, we ready? Question one. If all the climate modelling shows that we should open zero new coal mines to avoid certain death, how many new coal mines Would you open? If you were the Queensland Government? Is it a zero? B? Zero, c zero or D 18. Anyone guess Mandy
35:51
I know this one. I think it's D 18. To donation pay only one so it's at35:59
18 That's correct. Well, their mandate36:06
the Queensland Government's paying for this gig as many as they want oh36:13
that's that invoice is gonna take a while to go through Yes, Mel if you could sort of bulk invoice for the two of us36:26
like a minor you just keep digging36:30
let's move on to question two showers. Question two how often is a one in 500 year flood Oh,36:40
I see what we're playing here you're actually doing pointless36:45
Oh no, you're gonna get our climate podcast cancelled.36:48
Louis please. So how often is a one in 500 year flood is it a one in 500 years if you are Scott Morrison be one in 1000 years if you ask former New South Wales premier Dominic Paris a see one in 3500 years if you ask Barnaby Joyce or D seemingly once every fucking week these days37:14
he wants to go D again.37:17
I lived through it we got to in a month to a month37:21
so we'll go with not quite every week is full37:27
I think we'll get well except for Mandy37:36
winning this bogus quiz37:42
every time you get it right all right. And uh, when37:46
I need to sit back because I feel like I'm like hogging the37:49
No. I got a question for Jesse. You know, you live in LA LA area. You would have experienced some wild weather lately. What's it been like for place? It never rains to be raining so much lately?37:59
Oh, okay. Yeah, wet stuff keeps coming out of the sky. Every day. You get up on it. There's more wet stuff coming out of the sky. It's really confusing. How does the sky hold that much where it's coming from again and again? Have you38:11
been filming it and go on these fucking counts?Question three, according to the Reserve Bank estimates what is the level of inflation expected to be this year? Is that a $8 blue tick? The $10 Iceberg lettuce. We'll see quarter of a million dollar Bureau of Meteorology name change
38:42
welcome to Bay38:45
can I find a friend I think it works at the Bureau I'll accept that Bureau totally forgot that salary happened.38:59
All right. Clive Palmer. Palmer39:06
still popular out here.39:08
All right. Clive Palmer spent $100 million to get one senator elected last year. What is that Senators name? Is it a dynamic be David Mamet see Ralph Babbitt his real name gets lost. Day sister Back to Back in the Habit. Anyone39:39
to back to back39:41
into the habit. So just to recap, that's Mandy to Lewis One Dan one. Isn't this thrilling?39:55
One was it was39:56
Ralph Bapt. There's another question here. A question so before it's all about from here before entering Parliament United Australia party Senator Ralph Babbitt40:17
sounds like something you get doesn't get a little bit around40:24
that's all quite common40:33
All right before entering parliament, Senator Ralph Babbitt thought the crossbench was a the seats between the government and opposition or be a piece of fitness equipment.40:48
I don't reckon he's seen fitness equipment.40:53
We'll give it to Ralph. Yes. Okay. Thank40:55
you. Yeah.40:56
All right. Let's say that he knew what a real estate agent on the weekends or said someone else. He was a real estate agent. But he he still He works there on the weekends. I'm pretty sure he got. He got in trouble for it recently. They were like, oh, you can't have another job route. But he's like I just help out on the weekends.41:12
Is what's amazing is going from real estate agent to postseason. He went from like, second most despised profession to most despised.41:20
When a real estate agent turned up recently at the like, turf rally, you're like a fucking course.41:27
Okay, couple more questions. I this was a little complicated, so you'll need to listen very carefully. All right now in 2017, then water Minister Barnaby Joyce approved an $80 million purchase of two water licences. These licences belonged to a Cayman Islands based company set up by Angus Taylor, who subsequently became Australia's energy minister. Keeping that in mind how many staffers as Barnaby Joyce impregnated?One one is correct. Well know that we know allegedly, exactly.
42:06
I decided I was going to run for politics. I said, look, it's not about climate change. I just want to have sex with Barnaby Joyce. So I can make him lie back and go you know, lie back Barnaby and think of New England. You said dad joke, and then I'd walk off leave him there.42:27
Now we've reached the final question. And do you believe in fight, it's all tied up? Can you believe it's a Who am I question. So who am I? Until recently, I was a hairdresser and extremely amateur welder. i Some of you ahead of me. I took on these jobs despite already having a job. I also took on five other jobs of my colleagues while having this job. I recently took on a global speaking job despite the fact that I again still have a job. Despite all these jobs, I will be best remembered for my catchphrase, that's not my job.43:15
Who could it be 321 of the audience are.43:32
Excellent, our interview guests this afternoon is one of Australia's biggest and best brains there a legit NASA scientist right here. spent four years on the Kepler programme. Our next guest has made it her mission to organise the universe she spent 10 years building and running the NASA exoplanet archive. She was superstar all week here at the Brisbane science festivals playing the sellout crowds all week. We're lucky enough to have her here. Please give it up for Dr. Jesse Kritsa.First of all, let's get some basics out of the way quickly. Mars it's not named after the planet Mars. Or capsuleer.
44:10
Yes, no, I My mind was blown. Genuinely blown. Like all caps on Twitter. Mars bars are not named after either the planet or the God. They're named after a dude named Mars. I feel robbed for some guy named Mars and their Mars bars.44:28
Let's also get back to planets in our local area of Pluto. It's not coming up not coming back as a planet.44:34
Now Sorry, sorry. I you know, I wasn't old enough to vote in the 2000 referendum and I also wasn't old enough to vote in the 2006 vote for whether Pluto was a planet or not. But they demoted Pluto. It still exists. It's still out there. They've just called it like there's a different bucket that they've put it in called dwarf planet to this planets and dwarf planets. It gets to be the first of its kind.44:55
Can you say that anymore? Like don't have to use another word45:00
I believe the correct term is little person planet. That's where Andrew Denton lives now. He's afraid45:09
he was offended. I can't because I know so little about science. I can't tell if you're joking. Was there a vote? Yeah, there45:16
was a vote yes. At the International Astronomical Union in 2006. All of the astronomers got together. They argued for five days, most of them went home and whoever was left voted, and they demoted Pluto in a vote.45:28
Wow. So you said you weren't old enough. So how old you have to be the vote on45:32
old enough to be an eminent enough astronomer, astronomer that you're allowed into the International Astronomical Union? I was still a student. Yeah, no serious business. So is45:41
there any chance if we can pay not enough we could get?45:45
I mean, technically would be allowed. And actually, there's a bunch of astronomers who would be on your side, the ones who had to leave the capital.45:55
Did any of those astronomers care that they ruined the way I remember planets? My very easy memory DJEGAL saves us naming.46:05
Many astronomers were very sad. Yeah. And I apologise to everyone who's personally affected means dramatised by this decision, how do you feel46:11
about Pluto? Why do you think that Pluto should be planted?46:16
Well, if you look at what so for Pluto, okay, let's talk about it. So you have the sun and you have the eight planets that are going around the sun, they're all orbiting the sun in circles. And in the same plane, it's like a big pancake. And they're all circles that get bigger and bigger and bigger out from the sun. Pluto is on a big angle, and it's on big oval shaped orbit. So it actually looks quite different from the planets46:37
and what the lovin feels like me.46:41
Exactly. And you don't want to be lumped in with all the normies. So what happened was, we started finding more and more of these objects that were inclined and on these big oval orbits, and they were like, ah, are they planets? Are they something new. So that's why they came up with this new designation dwarf planet and Pluto just got read got kicked out of the planet club and into the dwarf planet club. I understand scientifically that classification. I think for historical purposes, we should have just left Pluto was a planet just because it's just created a big mess. No one's happy that dogs not happy. Not happy. It's just bad. It's bad press.47:16
You're you're working exoplanets. So for everyone who doesn't know like me? What is the term exoplanet about what does it mean? Just to get a definition out?47:24
Yeah, so these are planets outside our solar system? Mostly we find them around the other stars in the sky. But we have also found rogue planets. free floating planets that are just out there floating in between the stars probably got kicked out of planetary systems. Who knows why47:39
they sovereign planet?47:46
Craig chemtrails. Yeah. Let's talk about JW S T. Sure. The James Webb Space Telescope No, we shouldn't call it that, right? I'll call it JW S T. All right. 15 years ago, it was like hard to find an exoplanet. Now it's a lot easier. How has JW st changed that for you.48:05
So database, it is more of a characterization instrument than a discovery instrument. So Kepler, for instance, discovered 1000s of the planets in its survey. But what JW T will do is allow us to look at each one of those planets in exquisite detail and actually measure their atmospheres and look at their surfaces in a way that we couldn't ever do before.48:24
Yeah, and how has it changed? How has that changed your work? Like kind of what you do?48:27
Yeah, so at the exoplanet archive, what we do is keep track of all of the planets that we found outside our solar system and everything we know about them and so far we've mostly only known really basic stuff so kind of how big they are their temperature not much more than that, but with jadibooti because we're going to find so much more information we're actually building a whole new environment at the archive to put all this new kind of atmosphere information so what molecules and what layers are in the atmosphere and what's the wind speed and is there a cloud or not?48:54
Are they matter call they're gonna save us soldiers.48:58
Were like the Bureau for measuring the weather on these planets.49:02
Have you found any that you liked? The like, Oh, that looks nice. Like oh yeah, I believe they're49:10
literally every planet we found so if I will kill you painfully. Mostly slowly, but definitely paying.49:15
I mean, this one's doing that to all of us already.49:18
Yeah, frankly, there's an argument about whether Earth is habitable49:22
earlier in the show49:28
I'm given up Kato factors49:34
wow, I had five kids not a good idea. Wouldn't it be a bit like and this is something I've thought of, you know, you think about do you get really stoned ever and like get on the telescope. To see if I had access I would be fully rolling one up and getting on my telescope and thinking about I don't know if this is scientific right? Not Not yet. It didn't need to awesome and before I was stoned when this happened, right and I was standing in a shadow and I thought the shadow happened immediately after the object a doughnut, but is that the future50:19
do I need to be stoned right now for that?50:21
I think it will really helpyou anyway, I was just wondering about whether the do you need to see intelligent life? Do you actually got like, Could you Could we actually not be able to perceive it? That's a very real stoner question but maybe maybe it's far more evolved maybe we are but dust I can tell I've taken acid as well.
50:54
So whether or not we would know life when we saw it is not a stoner question that is a legit and very important scientific question51:06
we found out you hit for the Bureau during the aliens are looking at us and look what they're doing to the planet and they are killing themselves to a very intelligent, do you think they would rank us quite low?51:19
You know, honestly, it's probably a phase all toddler civilizations go through the aliens, like are there at that point? Okay, we'll come back in like 5 billion years, and they've sorted when they've discovered renewable energy. It'll all be great. We'll all51:31
be eating cake with three arms by then.Man, it's so fascinating. What's like the most enjoyable part of your gig every day. Like what? What's the kind of thing that gives you a joy,
51:45
I get to find new planets around other stars. So when I first was thinking about astronomy, and what I wanted to do was write when they was discovering the first exoplanets. And I loved the planets of our solar system like that. You could go outside and see features like rings and moons and, and all sorts of exciting things. And it was like, wow, people are discovering those around. Other stars are just like, yes, it's like, there's this phrase, you might have heard that we're the generation that was born too late to explore Earth, but too soon to explore space. I get to find new planets. It's so exciting, like a whole new world that no one's ever seen before. And I'm like, Hey, welcome.52:28
The most prolific woman in finding planets ever.52:31
Yes, yes. It turns out we did the math a couple of weeks ago, and yeah, so I have found 66 Wow.52:45
But like, that's also you're in the top 10 of Planet Hunters.52:47
Oh, yeah. So I'm six in the top 10 I'm the only Australian I'm the only woman in the top 10.52:58
Jesse comes from a little town near Ipswich. That's what we're talking about before and she's gone out and found planets. I guess you would if you were living sorry,53:09
that's kind of makes sense. You're from Ipswich and you spent your career trying to find signs of life.53:17
Oh, he's got let it be out there somewhere53:20
in your car waiting to take you to the airport.53:25
There's two types of people might as people who were born in Ipswich and people who wish they were Please give it up.53:40
Please, Matt Lewis now doing man, big thanks to John Smith, John Salley, Moe and everyone who helped us absolutely fantastic. Please go see Mandy and Mel and ask at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival until next time, there's always something to be scared of Good night.54:09
Your fear is rationalTranscribed by https://otter.ai
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๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN BRISBANEGuest Fearmongers on A Rational Fear this week include:
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๐ Trump's Arrest.
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This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical. Good evening, Lewis.0:05
Hello, Daniel. How are you?0:07
I'm good. I'm good. And you sound good. You look good. You. You look taller. For some reason. I don't know. Maybe it's my screen. Maybe my screen is higher than usual.0:16
Yeah, I don't believe I've grown. But it will be thrilling if I had it would kick me over from just like regular tall until weirdly tall.0:24
Well, our Patreon subscribers are growing this week, we grew by one so big thank you to Sam Arnold, who joined up on Patreon. We've got a few of you now. And now I'm, I'm Louis. I don't know if this is rude of me to say this to our audience. But I want to get a few more because I want to hire an assistant. Oh, because if you've ever thought about supporting the podcast ship into the Patreon, it's you know, the price of a cup of coffee these days, like even less, like we've kept our prices the same. And coffee has gone up sky high. Like yeah,0:54
it's easy to keep your price the same when it's zero.0:58
Yeah, that's it. That's it. So if you've ever thought about to begin, please head on over to Patreon and chip in and that way we can employ someone younger, smarter, funnier to do most of the work that I don't have time to do.1:10
Oh, now I feel threatened. What? Yeah, you you feel threatened1:14
and you work at the Youth broadcaster? You've got younger, smarter and funnier people around you all day long.1:19
That's true. But what are you actually going to do with this assistant? Because I have to admit, if you're asking for money, you know, it's not exactly like you're curing cancer here begging for an assistance. I feel like you might need to give us some more information.1:30
They're going to be you know, writing writing the podcast notes publishing the podcast. They're going to be organising guests. There's a whole I've got a list of things to do. It's very exhausting to make a whole podcast.1:43
Oh, I mean, I can only assume that's why I don't do anything.1:48
I don't know that you and your fancy producers at the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.1:54
That singular one single producer.1:57
Okay, very good. And give her your cell phone. Of course. Yeah. Well, that's good. Anyway, have you met? Do you know anyone2:06
who's looking for an underpaid job? Yeah, dude, everyone at the ABC? Yeah, well,2:11
great. Well, we pay more than the ABC so I'm recording my end of irrational feet on Gadigal Land of the Euro nation's sovereignty was devastated. We need a treaty. Let's start the show. The following2:22
programme contains medium coarse language and traces of nuts. A rational fear recommends listening by immature audiences. Comedians experts laughing at2:34
the world as it burns down2:37
around. This is2:43
a rational fear.2:47
Tonight and Australian Army helicopter has crashed into Jarvis Bay, the Defence Minister said it's the closest thing we'll get to a new submarine until the 2040s. And with the New South Wales election just days away, Premier Dominic Paris, he regrets that he and his wife could have made a few more voters in time for election day. And after already using code red and time bomb in order to describe the IPCC report. You're not a nation of bits that analogies to climate change are an endangered species. It's the 24th of March 2023. And this is a rational fear3:19
is a rational fear.3:32
Working irrational fear, I'm your host, former Labour Party Bus Driver Daniel itch and this is the podcast that makes Aaron Sorkin newsroom look a bit like a documentary. Let's make our fear mongers for tonight. Guests. Number one. They're one of Australia's best Laura Hughes's. They'll go by the name of Laura Hughes and they'll be joined on stage at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with several other Laura Hughes's it's the one and only well actually turns out one of many Laura Hughes's. Welcome to the podcast Laura yours.3:59
Thanks for having me.4:01
Laura. Just how many Laura Hughes's are going to be in your show in Melbourne. They are4:06
going to be seven including myself. But 1000s4:12
actually Googled you to find your bio today and I went I went to Laura here's Comdata you I found a Laura Hughes who is like a corporate coaches who helps you think of mindset growth and all that stuff.4:22
There's so many Laura uses they fought me there's one that paedophile and that's the worst one for me. I get a lot of emails from4:36
God Oh, dear. Do you have you're working with children? Check Laura.4:41
I have so many I'm ready. I didn't even work with children but I was like I need it just4:47
to go around and knock on everyone's door when you move into a neighbourhood and just go I'm not that lower here. Exactly.4:55
And then Melbourne Comedy Festival show, not like other girls refuse is to have a pun in the title is The horrifically and musically gifted hours Toby Hello us you are mixing horror and cabaret in your festival show are you worried it could be too spooky?5:11
It's gonna be a real Fright Fest day and I hope that you love jaunty jingles the scariest thing of all.5:18
You know me. I love Georgia, because Louis will tell you how much I love everyone. He didn't go.5:22
He you're a gentle man. He loves he's a little jingle boy. And it's sufferable5:28
I love also Louis. It's the first time we've been on the podcast together. Usually we can't be in the same room at the same time. This is so lovely.5:35
It's really nice. I'm just waiting for one of our internet's to fall apart. But for now, let's let it ride. Yes.5:42
And if you want to learn how to be rich, our next guest will tell you how to do that. And his comedy special at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Golden Handshake. It's Louis Harbour.5:51
Oh, that's true. Yeah. Okay. That's right. Exactly. One day before irrational fear hits the stage at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. I'll be doing a live comedy show at the Melbourne town hall with my friend Michael hing. It will be very silly. I assume.6:07
I was just going from the coffee off the website I6:09
assumed you at least wrote what you were planning to do. You know how it is at the Comedy Festival show you you send in something and then you're right to that.6:18
So did you say on hand shake or handshape ham sham che6:22
Alice? Honestly, insane things you need to know to listen to our radio show. If you haven't listened to it before don't bother starting now. I would say it's just it's we're so deep into a bunch of insane storylines that it would take too long on peak where the last of daytime radio.6:42
There is a lot of in jokes. There's a lot of you can kind of catch up at any point though, Louis, like I dip in and out when I'm driving around town. And I'm like, oh, yeah, back on the ham stuff. That's good.6:51
Yeah, yeah. Well, at one point, he just decided that it would be funny to say, congratulations, you've won yourself a ham. But he's a vegetarian. He doesn't know how much ham costs so much so much. He's like, so let's just give away a ham every week. And I was like, that's gonna bankrupt the ABC. So we gave away one ham to one person. The ABC legal thing was so insane. They were like, what if someone wins it who's like Jewish or Muslim who doesn't eat ham? It's like well, then we might send them the ham.7:19
Plus, you got to be in the pockets and feed but Toki you can't have that.7:24
And now we just made like 1000s of Golden Handshake earrings that we give away anyway, it's a nightmare. No one on this podcast cares.7:31
It's a whole thing. Coming up later, after inviting both Chris Mullins and Dominic paradise on the podcast and receiving very polite knows we are joined instead by independent candidate for the Northern Beaches. Jackie screwby will ask her how insular is her Peninsula. But first, a message from this week's sponsor.7:48
A rational fear and audible presents David Attenborough reading the AR six report from the IPCC uncensored, unplanned and unhinged human activities, principally through emissions of greenhouse gases have unequivocally caused global warming. You see, I told you I fucking told you ordered No. Here the moment the BAFTA award winning naturalists brain explodes with global surface temperatures reaching 1.1 degrees centigrade. How many fucking documentaries do I need to fucking make? experienced the frustration of someone who's given their life to the pursuit of truth in the face of unbridled capitalism, deep, rapid and sustained reductions in greenhouse gas emissions would lead to a discernible slowdown in global warming within around two decades discernible. I'll be dead in two fucking decades. How about I give you all a discernible reduction in me. It's what could be David Attenborough's last great audio book. Oh, fuck it. That's it. I'm getting into crypto fuck all of your pitches. Now available on Audible. Download the app and start listening today.9:02
David Attenborough. Excellent. This week's first fear Nazis turfs and the Liberal Party expulsions. Oh, my What is it with Melbourne and Nazis? This is the weather maybe the Yeren reminds them of the Rhine or maybe it's the unbearable levels of racial tolerance. But in a very confused scene on the weekend, Nazis joined anti trans protesters who were joined by trans rights protesters who were not joined by anyone trying to catch the 86 tram anywhere because there's no way they could and on top of it, the baddies in this case the anti trans protesters were upset that the police led even worse baddies Nazis into their protest hours. What the hell is happening in Melbourne?9:40
Oh my goodness, it's such an upsetting and hateful story. This person Posie Parker Parker Posey, already appropriating the name of a queer icon is a hate crime. But a bunch of turfs turned up to Parliament and they've kind of created this thing that where they say trans people, they're so dangerous. They should be all just eradicated. They also say that trans people don't exist. So they've created Schrodinger as queer. And they've gone and protested that it's just super frustrating, especially the cops that turned up as well who allowed the Nazis to march through the streets if you've not seen the footage, it's horrific, but the excuse that they gave to the protesters was all I'm just doing my job, which is like a fine excuse. If you're a Subway sandwich artist who's been told to just use schnitzel instead of bread because they slipped to an extra fibre but not if you're defending Nazis. That's not alright.10:30
It's also just like such a hair's breadth from I was just following orders, which of course, famously from the Nazis.10:37
Absolutely, it was10:39
it's weird that the police just thought it was part of the anti trans protesters10:42
and if it's weird that the cops let the Nazis in AKA a lot of their friends10:50
but it's so but it is weird because you know, they're not dressed like anti trans protesters. They're dressed like the they've come from. They're like they got out of bed from their pyjamas. They're like all in black.11:00
Yeah, they're in black shorts shorts, which is yeah, I didn't think that hot pants with a Nazi uniform, which like, credit where credit's due I love a good hot pan but not on a Nazi.11:10
It was almost indistinguishable from a lady gaga backup dancer it's terrifying genuinely like you kind of like it's always crazy when you like the Nazis are back. What what are we doing the Nazis11:24
it's interesting in that Victoria seems to be like the home of Nazism. In Australia. For some reason. There's been long reporting about right wing radicals hanging out in the Grampians chanting anti Jewish sentiment. And there seems to be a huge rise like over the last 10 years like a 320% rise in right wing plot attacks and violence like direct direct Skype threats to the Australian people like the Nazis are for all intents and purposes. You know, the new al Qaeda in Australia. The AFP are really deeply concerned about this right.11:56
Do you think it's the weather? It's just the most similar to Germany?11:59
Could be Yeah, can you just Nick,12:03
you can't wear those uniforms in Queensland. Like if the further you get to the closer you get to the equator, you just you can't wear an overcoat it doesn't work. I mean, yeah, as you're saying I was there were Nazis in shorts. He was the only one who you weren't scared of like all the other Nazis you like, these guys are fucking Nazis. He like well, that guy's Nazis in shorts. We can hit his knees. Fuck that guy. He's easy.12:24
I'm not scared of men as long as I can see their carbs but I'm just hoping that what these protests highlight is the absurdity of transphobia because when you have literal Nazis on your side, like Sikh hireling and stuff, you're on the wrong side team, but you can't dress it up in whatever faux feminism you want. This is bad stuff.12:45
The turfs were there going on? Oh, we weren't with the Nazis. I mean, like, just visually, clearly they were with the Nazis. But in a world where the Nazis were getting attacked by the anti turf protesters and the Turks themselves, then the Nazis would have been fighting a war on two fronts. Historically,13:08
a bit like q&a on crack. This is a rational fear.13:16
This week second fear any moment a former president could be arrested for using campaign funds to buy the silence of a porn star he had sex with once Yes, Donald Trump could be arrested at some point this week. We don't know one we don't know when it's you know, it's been he tweeted on Tuesday that it could happen any moment now. So that whole world has been on tenterhooks. This all goes back to when Donald Trump use $130,000 of campaign finance funnelled through his lawyer, Michael Cohen, to pay the silence of stormy Daniels and it all kind of comes down to a bit of paperwork. Yeah, it could be along the lines that you know, kind of paying off reimbursing Michael Cohen through like a dodgy invoice or something like this. Yeah. What is going on here with Donald Trump?14:01
It's very exciting. I feel like that almost been arresting him for years now. But it feels like it's getting closer. Maybe fingers crossed for everyone. But my favourite part is the unhinged part about him, like tweet will true thing about it on his stupid little website. And the fact that there's been all these like deep fake videos about it and people already putting out deep fake videos of him on the way to jail. And I feel like that's how he found out like he saw a video thought he saw a glimpse into the future. And that's why he truths about it. Like that's why he tweeted about it. About14:39
ask like this whole arrest over appropriating campaign funds doesn't just seem a little bit quaint with everything else he's done.14:45
It does. I mean, I feel like this is going to be the first they try and get him on anything. They're desperate. But the stressful thing is that even if he gets arrested, he can still become president because the laws are different over then, like so he can Jelly15:00
exotics running for president now. So anyone can do it.15:04
In Australia, you can run for parliament if you've been convicted of a crime, but in America, you can, you know, apparently he could do it from jail like he can actually run as president and become president from jail if he wants to.15:15
If he does go to prison in the sort of Al Capone sands, you know, if they just get him on campaign finance fraud, but if he's there, I hope he doesn't run for president. I hope he shoots another season of The Apprentice. Can you? Donald Trump day block. I mean, I'm here with Cyrus the virus, Snake Eyes, and got it. Oh, Pete. And the challenge this week, see how many mobile phones you can sneak through15:42
all that, Louis? How are they going to send him to prison? They can't cop him. His hands are so tiny. You'll slip I just thought it was funny on the footage in New York this week at the front of Trump Tower that they were just like five people with bullhorn horns, which means they're one shy away from a netball team if they exclude the wing attack.16:05
Yeah, that was after he called for the protest and five people showed up so much of a threat.16:11
Just Rudy Rudy Giuliani out there with a bunch of oranges going here. If you need Donald here, if you need16:18
rational fear, it is the end of the world. You might as well laugh about it.16:27
This week's third fear unless it's going to destroy the world. We don't often talk about technology on this podcast. But you know, chat GBT, we've spoken a little bit about this week, Samsung has revealed that it has been replacing things in people's photos namely the moon, I read it user did an experiment where he printed out printed off the moon he made it really blurry in Photoshop, printed it out, stuck it on the wall and took a photo of it with his camera. So it looked nothing like the moon. But the AI inside the Samsung camera automatically replaced that picture with a picture of the moon. Samsung is just going around replacing the moon in everyone's pictures,17:02
saying Dan is that they? Yes defied the moon.17:08
What else should Samsung replace if they're replacing the moon? You know, does this give them licence and other tech companies licence to replace other things in your pictures? What if you wanted a picture of a really blurry thing, but you couldn't get it?17:22
Wow, I didn't know why. And why are they doing that? Because they just think that Moons look a bit shit.17:27
But no, because they can so and the The amazing thing is that the one side of the Moon faces the Earth at all times. So no matter where you are on the planet, whenever you look up at the moon, it's going to be the same image of the moon. So if you're trying to take a photo of the moon if you're if you're the kind of person that sees the moon and wants to zoom in and get a shot of the moon, Samsung will just replace the moon with a really crispy picture of the moon.17:50
What about what about the blood moons?17:52
Do they have those on file? I don't know. I don't know. That's their you know, that's my question.17:56
What about if I pull my pants down in front of the camera? Well, I replace me with a stump but18:04
I don't need to get enough craters for your but18:08
I'm happy for them to replace pictures of me. I take the worst photos so I'm like, give me a glow up since on the show many18:15
of you they just put another law of using that it'd be18:20
I regret the name of my show.18:26
It would just be nice if they could replace photos of my parents with one of them looking proud of my career choice. It's a joke. I love you mom and dad. You're great.18:35
It is a joke. Alice Toby's career is going really well. She's you know, she's she works on everyone's TV shows we're very proud of here at irrational fear.18:43
Do we know what year Samsung was founded? Was it in 1969? Because it is possible. They were complicit in the faking?18:53
Thank you for being brave enough to say,18:56
thinking we're all thinking,18:59
what kind of podcast would we be if we didn't have at least one conspiracy theory.19:05
We'd have more listeners if we had more conspiracy theory.19:08
If you just ate some of the elk meat that I send you, this podcast would be one of the biggest in Australia.19:17
Samsung, unfortunately was founded 85 years ago 193819:22
That proves my theory, it's entirely possible that they would ever 196919:27
Also think about how long it took James Cameron to develop the technology for Avatar to it is totally reasonable that it took to the 30s till the 60s to fake a moon landing.19:36
But why did the footage look so shit? In the 60s?19:39
Yeah, well, yeah, how come Samsung didn't replace it with better footage19:43
yet? Where were the Navi on the moon19:47
theory debunked.19:48
I'll be back with a new one next week.19:50
Oh, we need it. i It kind of begs the question like What is a picture19:54
when the AI photos came out? You when that lens or AI thing came out? Did you guys give it a go? Did you give yourself With a little glow up in the in the AI No, I made I'm beautiful. Beautiful. You all broke the AI. They were like, We have to make her less beautiful.20:08
Do you remember the day that Samsung was down? That was my face? Sorry.20:14
I didn't because it costs money. So I was like, oh, nothing's smart. That's20:20
on Paul shouldn't have to pay for a face like you've got to face.20:23
Exactly do it for free to robot. Why am I paying a robot?20:27
That's a good point. I mean, I would buy a Roomba, but that's different, I guess. Did you guys do it? Did you? Yeah, absolutely kidding me. I'm so vain. I wake up in the morning was like, why does it run the clock? And why haven't I done it yet? And then I did it all day.20:42
What do you like astronauts? Astronauts? Yeah,20:46
like mythical figure. There was. There were like, I would say, it felt a bit like they had just googled, like, white guy, brown hair glasses. And then they just fused me with a bunch of other. Like, there was a few where I looked a bit like Adam Scott, the actor, which was quite nice. But then there was somewhere I looked like, I would say, someone who founded a yoga studio in 1978, and had since been in prison for 40 years. But the things I did to the people in my yoga studio in the 70s, like, really just like, skinny, and like really long arms, but kind of like piercing eyes, like just like a six pack. But it made me look like a an AI sex pest. And it made me question myself, because on that, once you see the scales of what you can be, like, on one hand, I could be a loved actor, Adam Scott, who I think is wonderful. On the other hand, I could be a sex past. And then you can kind of see both of those versions of yourself going forward and every day. And I guess it gave me the sort of Laura Hughes paradox. Like I didn't really know who I was. So I decided not to ever do it again.21:51
I think it makes a beautiful cult leader Louis, you really you have called me to potential.21:55
Do you know when I was a kid, when people asked would ask me what I wanted? That's That's what I told them. That's not22:00
are you serious? Yeah. Yeah.22:05
Do you have like some kind of merchandise? Or do you do like a Eucharist? What would you do like a Eucharist? Oh, like, Oh, it's a Catholic process of sharing your body as a bread?22:21
Would I be mixed? Yes. No, no.22:25
Do you have a harem?22:26
Why do you get into why did you get into the cult game? If it's not to be a slot? I don't understand anyone who's like a good cult leader. Like why did you bother just go to work?22:35
It's the same thing as like a social football team. It's just nice to hang out with people.22:42
And have them do your bidding. I had22:43
some friends who made a documentary about cults in Australia once and we were having a beer. I was like, what was like the funniest story about the cults. And they were like, Oh, it was pretty funny. There was this woman who went to like a health thing like a health fair in Byron Bay. And they, she met this person who ended up getting them into a cult, and this woman was like, I'm the second coming of Jesus. And she ended up getting involved in this cult. But there were only three people in the cult. It was her the cult leader and one other follower. And eventually, the other follower left. So it was just her and the second coming of Jesus. And then eventually, after like two or three years, the woman was like, What are you still doing here? I'm clearly not the Second Coming of Jesus. And then the leader left the cult. So the only person left in the Gulf. And she was like, Oh, I've been in a cult. I've been in a fight.23:35
Ah, yeah, that would be me. I would be the second coming of Jesus and I would get frustrated with my own shitty cars. What23:44
are you doing here? Here all your fear is rational.23:50
just pausing the podcast here, Louis, do you think Samsung's efforts to replace people's real moons with the fake Moon is pretty ethical.23:58
I don't really know if it matters enough to be ethical or unethical. It's just a weird thing.24:04
Well, I just want to pause the podcast here just to talk a little bit about Australian ethical. They are a big financial firm. They've been going since 1986. And they've been looking after people's money in really ethical ways. So they haven't been replacing it with pictures of fake money like Samsung would do. They've been you know, putting it in stuff like low carbon businesses, renewable energy. They definitely don't invest in things like fossil fuels. They look after companies that are part of the solution. Not part of the problem, though, is I'm thrilled24:31
and very excited to be partnering with Australian ethical. I think last week we mentioned I saw them in the news. I saw them in a guardian headline, I was like, Oh no. Who have we saddled ourselves with? And then it was like, Oh no, they're divesting from a bad company who was gonna kill a bunch of koalas and I'm like, Ah, a superannuation company in the news for the right reasons.24:53
What year is this? That company has LED lights a company we've spoken a bit about on this podcast, so yeah, well, darkness Try Nesco keep it up and thank you for sponsoring a rational fear25:06
this is a rational fear.25:10
I looks like Jackie's group has got better things to do before three days before the election so good on her. She's not coming on rational fear tonight. Let's wrap it up so big thanks to everyone who joined us on irrational fear Louis harbour Alice Toby. Laura Hughes. Alice, what would you like to plug?25:25
Yes, I'm doing a show called not like the other girls at the Melbourne Comedy Festival and the Sydney Comedy Festival. So if you head to Alice toby.com You can book some tickets it opens next Thursday. It's going to be very silly. Looking forward25:37
to Laura Hughes.25:39
I'm doing a show with the worst title on the in the world. And I regret every day. Laura Hughes presents and it's from the 10th of April to the 16th at the butterfly club.25:53
Doing only doing one week at the festival that is the sign that is a veteran that is a veteran who's seen some shit.26:01
That's someone who's died before it was like a month get locked. Much I play a lot of characters so I think I would be dead if I did the whole month.26:11
I've seen the show and it's very very, very funny. Louis would you like to?26:15
Well, obviously there's a rational fear second of April. Huge lineup still ticking the Capitol Theatre. I mean, it's beautiful. Wear a suit. Dress up? What a lie. Yeah,26:25
yeah, please wear a suit. Will you wear a suit if you wear a suit? I'll wear so.26:29
Fuck it. Yeah, I'll wear a suit. Yeah, all right. Yeah, so isn't that funny? When you're like, work such joke jobs that putting on a suit is like our moment is comedy. I've only got one.26:45
Dress up as one of your AI characters.26:48
Oh, fuck. I I know. We're still recording but afterwards, I'll send you the next best one.26:56
Try and try not to send as try not to send it over a carriage service.27:02
I can't believe what they did to me. They did me so dirty. So yes, come to irrational fear. Also, if you just eaten Melbourne the weekend and you're like, Ah, no, no, no, it's lawless. I am doing a show at the town hall the night before with my friend Michael hang. It's called Golden Handshake. And then the week after that, if you're like God, I've seen Lewis twice. Love to do it a third time be doing the great debate. Which is really exciting on27:25
Easter Sunday. That's really exciting. Do you know who you're doing it with?27:30
I don't I find out tomorrow. Well today by the time this podcast goes out so I'm I'm really excited. It's really fun. I'd loved loved watching them since I was a kid and like I think debating was like the first time I ever wrote a joke. So I'm really excited to Louis you are27:44
you are built for that. That's gonna be great. I'm finally27:47
being built for that was profitable.27:51
I look forward to you putting in a sterling effort to irrational fear.27:56
You know, I will that's the first thing Yeah,27:59
it's the first thing Have you written Have you written your piece yet? Yeah, we've28:01
got another rational people for them to do. No, I fucking haven't written the second one Jesus.28:08
Yes. If you're listening to this right now you're probably listening. Around the time we are performing on stage at the at the Q PAC at somehow at the World Science Festival in Brisbane this Sunday. You can still get tickets to that so please buy tickets for that and also the following week in Melbourne International Comedy Festival that is it for rational Phoebe thank you to rode mics Australian ethical our Patreon supporters Jacob brown on the teppanyaki timeline Rupert Degas who did that extraordinary David Attenborough. And until next week, there's always something to be scared of. Good night.Transcribed by https://otter.ai
A Rational Fear on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ARationalFear
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๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN MELBOURNE
๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN BRISBANEThis month Dylan Behan takes an in-depth look at all the big NSW state election issues from boat ramps to cashless gaming cards to superannuation for kids and why neither major party will do anything to actual tackle the biggest cost of living issue in NSW: astronomical rents. Also we look at the two middle aged white men who are determined to promise to do as little as possible in order to get your vote this Saturday.
๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN MELBOURNE
๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN BRISBANEAnnouncer 0:01
This is News Fighters, where we fight the news so you don't have to.Dylan Behan 0:09
Yes, Hi everyone. Welcome to Episode 122 of news fighters for February 2023. If you haven't listened before News Fighters is an in depth yet comedic look at the big stories in Australian news, media and politics presented by me, TV comedy editing wizard and future AUKUS submarine captain Dylan Behan. Yes, thanks for joining us this month, once again on the A Rational Fear podcast feed. We had a great time with A Rational Fear down in Adelaide at the Fringe Festival. Thanks to everyone who came out and saw us there and this weekend. We're at the Brisbane Science Festival on Sunday. Get your tickets now but, a little bit south of the border, the New South Wales State election campaign feels like it's been in full swing for months now. And I'd totally understand if you haven't been paying attention to it because most of the policy announcements have been pretty uninspiring ones like this.Journalist 1:04
The premier was talking about water. He's hoping to hook voters with a $20 million promise to upgrade boating ramps and fishing facilities across the state.Dylan Behan 1:13
Yes in New South Wales 2023 will go down as the year of the boat ramp state election. Oh geez. This is the least interesting New South Wales State election I've covered and I've only covered two at least back in 2019. We had the spectacle of Labour leader Michael Daly's lucky meat pieMichael Daley 1:29
Before every election I've been doing it for 30 years are always gonna have my Lucky Piea pie and strawberry milk having my Lucky Pie.
Journalist 1:37
What pie having Mr. Daley?Michael Daley 1:38
just a plain pie with strawberry milk is // eating a Lucky Pie for breakfast at a local shop // we opted for as usual fortifying election breakfast a pie and strawberry milk // For 30 years I had a Lucky Pie. No sauce beef,Journalist 1:53
No Sauce? Are you feeling confident?Michael Daley 1:54
Terrific. I have my lucky pieJournalist 1:56
Hoping what he eats tonight. He's not humble pie.Dylan Behan 2:00
Anyway, strap yourselves in everyone because this episode I'm taking a deep dive into all the big issues in the current New South Wales State election campaign. And before I begin, I'm sad to announce that I just don't have time to recap the past 12 years of scandals that have plagued the O'Farrell embed then Berejiklian Imperator a coalition governments you know, you know, all the scandals, the you know, the pork barreling or the brand stalking or the cushy overseas jobs with the boys or the fact koalas are facing extinction or the pandemic lockdown measures that unfairly targeted poor and migrant communities or the cracked rail carriages, or the stuffing up of the bushfire recovery or the stuffing up of the flood recovery or the lockout laws that said our nightlife and art scenes back by generation, or the failure of the government to implement any of the recommendations from the special commission of inquiry into the drug is or the way they've used StrikeForce rapidly to intimidate musical acts and try and get them to change their lyrics or the shocking stories of the sharing of pornographic images of Parliamentarians by other parliamentarians. I just haven't got time for any of that. Besides, I'm sure it's probably already been covered by a friendly jordiz In a funny accent. No, I'm just going to assume you're up to speed with all the corruption and scandals and we're going to jump right in to the choices facing New South Wales voters this Saturday. So I hear you asking who are the contenders for the top job? Well, first of all, is the current Premier and former treasurer, conservative liberal party leader and Millennial in name only Dominic parity. And Isn't he good at talking up his own record? Well,Dominic Perrottet 3:23
we need to do better. Well, I've always said we've got to do better. Can we do more?Yes, he also
Dylan Behan 3:28
needs to do better on knowing the ages of his seven young children.Journalist 3:31
Mr. Perrottet name all seven of your kids in age order.Unknown Speaker 3:35
Just not their age, Charlotte Amelia. Annabel, William. Harriet. Beatrice. Celeste.Dylan Behan 3:46
I can barely afford to have a cat Perrottet has been premier for almost 18 months and he's reputations held up despite the fact that he admitted to wearing a Nazi uniform in his own 21st birthday party. Surprisingly, the Australian public were quite forgiving of this, leading to this amazing voxpopJournalist 4:04
What did you think of him before this?Man on the street 4:06
Well, he seemed like an upstanding member of the community. Right? Seven kids.Journalist 4:11
What do you think of him now?Man on the street 4:13
Seven kids in a Nazi uniform!Dylan Behan 4:14
Yes, that also sounds like potential movie collaboration between Nancy Meyers and Mel Brooks this holidays, get ready for the heartwarming romcom seven kids and a Nazi uniform and then there's Labour leader Chris Minns. Now if you haven't heard of him, don't worry, because neither has anyone elseJournalist 4:31
on a day when a small poll found the majority of voters in the labor leaders knife edge seat. Can't name him. Do you know who this man is?Unknown Speaker 4:40
No, I don't it's the Leader of the Opposition. I just can't remember his name and on top of my head Did you know this man?Unknown Speaker 4:47
He's the opposition leader opposition of New South Wales, Chris somethingDylan Behan 4:50
Yeah, no worries. Good luck with that. It's not like you said is the most marginal in the entire state anyways. Also, there's probably a good reason why people in the Chinese community didn't recognize himJournalist 5:00
Chris Minns has suffered a little lost in translation incident. Cantonese speakers pointing out. These characters when spoken aloud can also sound a lot like having to use a bathroom.Dylan Behan 5:12
Yeah, so finally, if any Liberal staffers are caught urinating on men's posters outside polling booths on election day, they've got an excuse. The poster told them to in Cantonese! now on to Chris Minns' campaign itself and it appears to be focused on one big issueChris Minns 5:26
No privatization under labour. // New South Wales Labour will never sell Sydney Water //no more reckless energy privatizations // Sydney Water is on the ballot at this election campaign // and we'll do it all without privatizing Sydney Water // There's no point selling your house to fund an upgrade of your driveway.Dylan Behan 5:44
Yes, and I think I speak for most people in Sydney when I say what's a driveway? Jeez, what's this guy's obsession with Sydney Water? Oh, that's right. It's the only asset left that hasn't been privatized under the last 12 years with the Liberals and fun fact I just discovered it turns out that humans need water to live I just discovered that thanks wiki pedia! Yes, it turns out men seems to be copying word for word Anthony Albanese is small target strategy where you don't promise anything very much and instead just say they've been in too long. Give us a go!Chris Minns 6:12
The premier of New South Wales leads a team that's been in power for 12 years and is asking for 16 years in office. Now that's a long period of time for a team whose best days are behind them. / They're asking for 16 years in power. Their best days are behind them and their most experienced leaders have already departed // Our message to the people in New South Wales a straightforward vote for change.Dylan Behan 6:35
Yeah, it's pretty similar to Alba's pitch from last year.Anthony Albanese 6:38
Give us a crackDylan Behan 6:40
Speaking of Albanese. While Mr. Popularity Peter Dutton hasn't been seen anywhere on the New South Wales State election campaign trail. Albanese has been very visible making multiple appearances like this one.Journalist 6:50
Meanwhile, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese joined Labour leader Chris Mintz on the campaign trail. The pair went to a pub in Balmain. Before visiting unlike our childcare center,Dylan Behan 6:59
yes, they visited a pub then a childcare center and I think we have a clip of Albo at the childcare center here.Anthony Albanese 7:05
No, Chris means who will be a fantastic labour premier to have a majority on the floor of the Legislative Assembly.Dylan Behan 7:21
Oh, geez, maybe maybe switch to the light beers next time. Albo. Unfortunately Minns also appears to have stolen Scott Morrison's election campaign strategy of showing off his ship musical skills in public like he did here on the Kyle and Jackie O show.Chris Minns 7:35
Want a little bit of Acca Dacca (plays guitar)Dylan Behan 7:44
Thanks Minzy that will fix the housing crisis. Oh, are we going with Minzy? Sorry, I didn't any satirists listening can you have we haven't heard I haven't got a memo we go with Minzy or something bit more Ozzy like Christo or are we gonna do a scomo thing and like first name last name it so it'd be like Cri-Mi. Cri... creamy. Well, it will be his nickname. Anyways, the rising cost of living appears to be the single biggest issue for voters this election with rent, mortgages, power prices, groceries and transport costs, all eating up more and more of the weekly family budget. But don't worry, Chris Minns has a big planJournalist 8:23
Labor's big policy is to scrap the public sector wage cap, which currently limits pay rises to three and three and a half percent. And soChris Minns 8:30
we can strike a fair deal for essential workers right across New South Wales, we will remove the wages kept.Dylan Behan 8:38
Yes, this is great news for public service workers. This will help the public service hire and retain workers and help them with their cost of living issues. However, unless there's also a rent cap, I'm not sure how this isn't going to just keep feeding inflation and keep making housing and everything else more expensive for everyone has anyone thought this through. Meanwhile, power prices are also shaping up to be a huge election issue with no lead up insight.Journalist 9:02
Good evening, it's going to be a cold and costly winter for many in Sydney, with authorities flagging a 23% jump in power prices from July one the biggest increase ever.power prices are set for a steep increase of around 20%. Yes,
Dylan Behan 9:17
electricity prices keep going up and up. But I think this pension has figured out a surefire way to beat the system.Journalist 9:23
90 year old reg has an easier path,Reg 9:26
With a bit of luck I'll die and won't have to worry about it at all.Dylan Behan 9:29
Yes, that's one way to beat the high living costs associated with late stage capitalism just stop living. Thankfully, both parties have a plan to bring power prices down and Labour's is to create a state owned Energy Corporation and well, won't it provide immediate relief.Chris Minns 9:47
I'm going to be honest with the people of New South Wales and say that the benefits of this policy will be felt six and seven years down the line and it's not possible for me to explain seven years they're gonna have to wait it's important that I get this out and Got to make sure that you've got firming power, particularly in relation to pumped hydro. Those projects take a lot of timeJournalist 10:06
on power bills in your state owned energy company. Seven years it'll take to have any impact on a family's energy bill. Seven years. Is that fair?Chris Minns 10:17
I think in context, it's the right policy for what we're facing today. And the voters are smart enough to say Labour's got a plan for long term energy reform in New South Wales. The liberal party has got a cash handout.Dylan Behan 10:28
Well, Chris Minns has a lot of faith in New South Wales voters they're thinking now prioritize long term structural reform over a quick sugar hit cash handout, which is exactly what Perrottet and the Liberals are proposing to try and fix power prices,Journalist 10:42
a half a billion dollar elections sweetener is now an offer worth $250 per household, just for looking at a website to compare power prices.And here's the important thing to note. You don't have to switch to get the discount. You just have to look,
is it really responsible to be paying $250 to anyone just to Google their power provider?
Dominic Perrottet 11:03
Absolutely. Because we want people to go online and see if they're on the best deal possible.Dylan Behan 11:07
Yes, that's right. The Liberals are going to give you a turn and $50 power price discount just for going on the internet. Finally an excuse for me being online all the time. Honey, are you looking at duck videos again on the internet, no honey just shopping around for power prices. (quack noises) Meanwhile, Labour's decided to match the $250 rebate but only offer it to a much smaller number of households in a much more targeted way.Journalist 11:34
Labour is promising the same amount, but to just half the households with only those on income support pensioners and seniors eligibleDylan Behan 11:42
Yes, labour of course, in typical labour fashion has completely forgotten about working poor people. But since when was the labor movement about working people anyways, that's what I want to know. Sorry, working poor people, you should have been even poor. Also on the cost of living crisis, the liberals have announced a policy to try and bring down the cost of groceries and that policy is to add more bureaucracy and just watch how good premiere parity was at selling it. At the channel line debate.Journalist 12:10
You have said that you will bring down grocery bills by appointing a new supply chain Commissioner. So for example, on a basket of groceries that costs $100, how much cheaper will that be? Well, we knowDominic Perrottet 12:22
Liz, in terms of the cost of inflation, that the one of the biggest impacts on that is supply chain costs. And so putting this commissioner in, I can't give you $1 figure on that. But what I do know what I do know is that we can get produce from port to plate faster and working with the industry that will put downward pressure on grocery prices across our state. Yes, DomDylan Behan 12:43
I'm sure those famously disorganized Fly By Night operators known as Coles and Woolworths don't know anything about logistics and have just been winging it the whole time. They definitely need some government help in this area. What the hell what what what will the supply chain Commissioner do anyways? Turn on the shaft signal to get toilet paper back on the shelves. Then we haven't even got to the Liberals big news signature cost of living policy they've announced this election, giving free money to rich babiesJournalist 13:13
An investment in children that will set up the next generation. That's how the premier describes his signature election promise of $400 per child. In an Australian first kids Future Fund,the government would deposit $400 To start the account. Each year parents can contribute up to $1,000. With the government matching contributions dollar for dollar up to $400. Assuming interest of 7% and regular parental contributions the fund could reach between $28,500.40 $9,000 By the time the child turns 18. Only then can they withdraw it to spend on either a house deposit or for skills and education like a university degree or TAFE course, children whose parents received Family Tax benefits would get an automatic $200 A year from the government.
Dominic Perrottet 14:06
Reportedly, it furthers the central mission of our Liberal Party to spread equality of opportunity far and wide.Dylan Behan 14:15
Yes, that's right. And nothing spreads equality more equally like making sure already we'll have kids graduate high school with an extra 50 grand in their bank account to go towards paying off their hex earlier or get them on that property ladder sooner. Now that's real equality, Liberal Party style parity tried to sound empathetic when introducing this policy.Dominic Perrottet 14:35
Well, that is all about making sure that our children have greater opportunities than we do. Right now. It's the opposite. We burden our children with hex and housing debt before they even start. We're all worried about our kids capacity to be able to buy a home and also the cost of education.Dylan Behan 14:52
Yes, Dom If only somebody could do something about the massive sky high cost of housing and education in this state, if only so Somebody could do something. Yes the kids Future Fund policy is such a clearly bad policy favoring the rich. It even turns Sky News accidentally left wing.Journalist 15:10
What are these 18 year olds going to be doing with 10s of 1000s of dollars?I'm sorry, give it back to the government for their education apparently. Hope you get into the housing market to pay you $50,000 That might cover the state government's land tax or financial duties. That's outrageous.
Dylan Behan 15:28
Yes in talking about the Liberals trying to patch over problems that they themselves created. They're also trying to win favor with toll road drivers and public transport patrons after years. Of increasesJournalist 15:39
the premier making a promise to cut the opal cap from 50 to $40 a week saving almost $500 a year.Some cash flow relief is coming for half a million motorists across Sydney with road toll rebates offering up to $750 back
Dominic Perrottet 15:56
and we want to use our financial strength to help budgets right across New South Wales,Dylan Behan 16:01
Perrottet is so brazen are trying to fix the problems that his party created. That I'm amazed his election slogan isn't something like a vote Liberal this state election because only the Liberals can bring down the high prices that the Liberals are responsible for. Well, at least Sydney public transport is going to be capped at $40 a week if the Liberals win because this is a public transport system definitely worth paying money for Good eveningJournalist 16:24
Sydney's transport systems are in chaos tonight. Sydney's entire train network was brought to a standstill today leaving 1000s of passengers stranded. How are you going to get home tonight?Commuter 16:35
I don't know.Journalist 16:36
The entire rail network was shut down when communications failed,Commuter 16:41
They cann't keep doing this door off. We're paying our faresJournalist 16:44
live wires fell onto the train trapping more than 500 passengersCommuter 16:48
I have been working for 50 years and I've never seen it this bad it's an absolute joke.Journalist 16:53
People have been forced to wait hours for trainsCommuter 16:57
Two times this week I've missed shifts and that's money out of my paycheckJournalist 17:00
so people are being told to avoid train travel if they can but good luck if you can find another way home // commuters advise to delay travel if they can maybe stay in town for a beerCommuter 17:11
Absolutely crap!Dylan Behan 17:12
Yes What a group of satisfied customers Sydney public transport communities are the official slogan of Sydney trains should just be go to the pub instead. imagine any other service or product where this counts as a good review.Commuter 17:24
Absolutely crap.Dylan Behan 17:26
Thank you for your compliment, sir. Can we use it in the new Sydney trains advertising campaign? Meanwhile, Labour's election winning infrastructure strategy is that they're going to build less infrastructure because you know, Sydney isn't growing at all and everything works perfectly all the time.Journalist 17:39
A major tunnel project through the Blue Mountains would be scrapped under a Chris Minns premiership as labour seeks to tighten spending it adds to a growing list of government projects Labour will shelve including a metro from Westmead to the aerotropolis. Raising Warragamba Dam wall and the Northern BeachesChris Minns 17:58
are not going to sell essential assets in New South Wales to build infrastructure. Now the premier has a $50 billion infrastructure plan that is completely unfunded.Dylan Behan 18:08
Yeah, it might be completely unfunded now, but have you seen the cost of public transport in the city? No, those new metros will be paid off in no time anyways, maybe Chris means is right. And we can't actually afford to build any more infrastructure. But personally, I can't really afford to put up with the infrastructure the way it is at the moment. I have to allow three hours a day to commute to a job 12 kilometers away if we don't build any more infrastructure in this state, me and everyone I know I just got to move to Tasmania and live in a tree house and eat bugs because that's better for my mental health than dealing with Sydney public transport on a daily basis. Anyways, at least Labour has said they're going to do something for drivers by introducing a $60 a week toll cap you know, finally getting those toll costs down to a much more manageable $3,000 a year for just driving in Sydney. But even that comes with strings and more bureaucracy attached.Journalist 19:00
You're giving truckies and trainees of rebate to drive on the M5 and the M8. What about truckies who used the M7 to m4 they don't matter.Chris Minns 19:11
Now they do matter. And I'd love to do more. It's one of the reasons where we're appointing Professor Allan Fels to do a full review of tolls in New South Wales.Dylan Behan 19:19
Oh perfect. A total review reviews always work great. Just look at all the high speed rail lines Australia has now after 30 years of nonstop reviews. Oh and speaking of proposed reviews that are intended to achieve absolutely nothing that's also Labour's answer to the government's proposed cashless gaming card for pokies.Journalist 19:39
The coalition has promised to make poker machines in pubs and clubs cashless by 2028 Labour has committed to a trial of cashless gaming on 500 of the state's 90,000 machinesChris Minns 19:50
In relation to capitalist gaming in New South Wales. We'll have a trial of 500 machines and an independent panel that will make a recommendation to the New South Wales Government in short, Alex If it works, we'll do it. But I want to make sure that when we pursue policy in New South Wales, we know that it will work and my reluctance in relation to this and the need to have evidence based processes in place is because it's in operation in only one place around the world. And that's in Norway is partJournalist 20:17
of this about trying to avoid a powerful campaign against the Labour Party from the club lobby?Chris Minns 20:23
is Mis,Dylan Behan 20:24
Yes, he's not afraid just because registered clubs donated over $400,000 to the New South Wales Labour Party between 2011 and 2021 doesn't mean Chris Minns isn't going to stand up to them. Yes. In fact, Labour's attitude to the cashless gaming card is a bit like if your flatmate proposed that the flat had a housework schedule, so the house was clean. And you're like, "look, this everyone cleaning the house on a schedule thing hasn't been proven to work anywhere or arrived. I propose a four week shared housework trial, and then we can get an independent panel to rule whether having a house work schedule is right for this house. Just because Norway has it doesn't mean it'll work here alright". Mind you. It turns out Chris Minns might not wind up having a choice on the cashless gaming card. Because if Labour is in a minority position, and they need to do a deal with the greens to form government, well, it's going to be conditional on their support.Cate Faehrmann 21:16
The Greens will also be seeking a commitment to a mandatory statewide cashless gambling card for our support. Just to be clear, we won't settle for half measures. And we won't be fooled by a trial that has been set up to fail. Yeah, isn't it funnyDylan Behan 21:34
how we haven't heard much from the Greens this election campaign in the media I'm guessing it's because their lefty hippie socialist policies are so out there that just alienate the mainstream.Journalist 21:44
The greens are pushing for an immediate rent freeze demanding no new coal or gas projects, rent control, a cashless gaming card and scrapping anti protest laws.Dylan Behan 21:54
Geez, what are the Greens thinking there? A rent freeze to bring down the cost of rent? Haven't they heard the only way to fight the cost of living crisis is to give out free money to well off parents and have inquiries and appoint powerless commissioners. Didn't they get the memo? So in conclusion, New South Wales voters are faced with an unenviable choice this state election. The Liberals and Nationals are obsessed with handing out free money to people who don't really need it in the hope that everyone forgets what a corrupt shitshow they've been the last 12 years. Meanwhile, Labour's plan if it wins is to try and appear slightly less corrupt than the other guys while kowtowing to their own special interest donors and simultaneously building nothing in the hope it makes them appear to be fiscally responsible until one day, we all wind up living in the park across the street from our work because nobody can afford to rent anywhere anymore and anyway, it takes 14 hours to get to work on the train because they're so old and overcrowded. Yes, and faced with these two terrible choices at the ballot box this Saturday. I think it's safe to say that all New South Wales voters can kind of relate to 92 year old rages attitude about the state of the world,Reg 23:07
With a bit of luck I'll die and won't have to worry about it at all.Dylan Behan 23:12
Alrighty, that's news fighters for February. Thanks for listening to my big New South Wales State election Deep Dive this episode took over 50 hours to create so if you enjoyed it, please pitch in to the irrational fear Patreon at patreon.com/arationalfear. News fighters is written produced and edited by me Dylan Behan for irrational fear. You can follow me on Twitter at dylabolical or email me at Dylan at newsfighters.com Don't forget all new episodes of news fighters are now on the a rational fear podcast feed subscribe at a rational fear.com or you can watch us on YouTube at youtube.com/newsfighters and news fighters is on social media on Twitter and Instagram at newsfighterspod if you want to keep up with all things news fighters, sign up for our free newsletter and news fighters.com Alrighty, that's it for now. I'll see everyone in Brisbane at irrational fear this weekend. Keep fighting and bye for now.Announcer 24:16
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๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN MELBOURNE
๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN BRISBANEJoining us for this week's podcast is Amelia Navascues, who you can see at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in a couple of weeks time.
๐ Tickets to Amelia's show Blurrier IRL
And we have a wide ranging chat with Leader of the Greens, Adam Bandt MP. We talk submarines, safeguard mechanism, and how he works with the climate independants.
I should point out during this NSW Election period, we have asked Chris Minns, and Matt Kean to also join us, but no luck so far on that front. Apparently they're busy.
๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN MELBOURNE
๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN BRISBANE0:00
This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical. It's my favourite time of the week when I hear that music Lewis I don't know about you, but none of our podcast listeners will ever know what that music is. Because it's the music we have on our web streaming video anyway, so thank you.0:15
It does feel like yeah, we're just about to introduce a BEx ad on blankety blank. So it's a real old school television moment.0:25
That's right. That's right. And I am ugly David grey. Welcome to irrational fear. We've got two new people on the Patreon this month big thank you to Bruce and Kamini. Incidentally, Bruce and Kamini sounds like an architect firm. I'd love them to build me a presidential library that would be great. Bruce and Kamini, thank you so much for joining us on Patreon. We've got two things Louis, I need to make you aware of in particular because your presence is needed. Brisbane next Sunday, the 26th of March. We've still got a few seats left for that it's going to be fun. And Lewis you will love this and you know me very well I have shot a rap a parody of a bad eight Israel.1:04
Jesus, Stan,1:06
you know why? Because it why? Because it must be done. It must be done. It will all be explained live on stage. We're going to talk about1:15
2023 We're not doing parody rap anymore. I know. Even the Lonely Island isn't doing parody rap anymore. And they were actually good. And1:23
I know, I know. But I couldn't resist. If anything, it's a rap of a parody of a parody. So does that mean it's like your Icarus? Already? That's fine. It's fine and funny. It's good. We shot it. And it's funny. I'm excited to show everyone in Brisbane. It's gonna be there. You can decide next week and tell me what you think I was really excited to hear your thoughts.1:48
I don't want to turn this whole intro into this. But when was the last time you listened to a song in the genre of hip hop? That wasn't a parody you had written?1:56
I can't remember it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. Yeah,2:00
parody gets genre you know nothing about it makes me deeply. I'm a big2:03
fan of my own work. Alright, the other thing you need to know is that Melbourne is about half sold. And there's going to be a bit of a surprise on stage you as an audience member will get the chance to win a piece of Victorian politics history. Does that intrigue you Lewis?2:20
It does. I can't wait to get down Andrew as part of it.2:24
Well, it's very much along those lines. What if I said the word Chappaquiddick to you? What does that mean? In terms of Victorian niche politics history?2:33
I'm assuming it's a car accident. I'm hoping it doesn't involve it.2:38
There isn't a death there is a car accident. Yes, there's something to do with Tim Smith and the word Chappaquiddick and it's gonna be pretty excited reveal on stage so I can't wait to share that with you. Or in Melbourne, April 2 on stage,2:54
you're giving away the remnants of Tim Smith's career. No one's gonna want it.2:57
That is so closely we're so close. Oh, you almost got it. I'm recording my irrational fear on Gadigal land in your nation. Sovereignty was never seated. We need a treaty. Let's start the show. The following3:08
programme contains medium coarse language and traces of nuts. A rational fear recommends listening by immature audiences. Comedians experts sloughing at the world as it burns down around. This is a rational fear.3:33
Tonight, the stock price of Credit Suisse plummets causing worldwide financial turmoil. Authorities in Switzerland say they are no longer going to hide money in the holes in the cheese. And the US has warned tic TOCs Chinese owners they must sell due to security concerns. Tik Tok respond to threats with two dances and a makeup tutorial that talks continue. And Australia is to legalise MDMA for medicinal use as one reaches virtual said, Oh man, I fucking love you man, man. I mean, just menu, but I can tell. I can tell Hey, seriously, no, seriously, we just wish to start a podcast together man. It's the 16th of March 2023. And with more poker machines in Nevada, this is irrational fear.4:13
This is a rational fear.4:27
Welcome to rational fear. I'm your host caliphal Sydney identity Dan Ilic. And this is the show that takes the news and forces upon it a trilateral agreement whether you want it or not. Joining us tonight is how we've got our own trilateral agreement. It's very exciting here. Our first theme manga is about to launch her debut solo show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. It's called blurrier IRL writer, performer producer podcast host Amelia. Now that skews Welcome to irrational fear.4:53
Hello, yay. Hi. Thanks for having me. All that stuff people say at the top of pot Ha.5:01
Are you pumped? Are you pumped for your debut in Melbourne?5:04
Yeah, pumped. It's good. I like the bulletins that they send to all of the performers because the most recent one that they said was mental health. Make sure you call the hotline if you guys are stressed. Emails, you guys get it?5:16
Oh, this is your first time doing the Comedy Festival. It's, yeah, yeah. This will make sense in week two,5:23
and also on the show is Lewis Lewis. Welcome to your podcast. co host irrational fear.5:28
Thanks, Dan. A pleasure to be here and across everything as per usual, let's talk about all the things that are on this show. Right.5:36
Adam ban is popping in we'll ask him about the CPRS probably but first here's a message from this week's sponsor.5:41
irrational fear is brought to you by New South Wales poker machine ASMR. Clinics. Free drink sips the jangle of cash from five Cleopatra's but the sweetest sound of all is when donations in your election campaign bank account, if you like the sound of staying in government and the sound of Nazi photos quietly being shredded ditch that cashless poker machine cards, or else authorised by collapse New South Wales in a very non threatening way. Campbelltown6:12
this week's first fear blackouts in Adelaide are being caused by bats. Of course if you live in South Australia, you already know this by the more colloquial name. The bat out Yes. Last year 89 blackouts in Adelaide were attributed to bats resting on power lines in the wee hours of the morning as bats went to and fro from feeding authorities tried to call a subcontractor to deal with a problem known as Batman, but they didn't have power to get the signal out fear mongers what is going on with Adelaide bats, Amelia?6:42
Well, I think this is clear that the bats are plotting revenge for a speciesist inflicted discrimination after COVID. That's clearly what's going on here. Let's be real South Australia clearly had some strong opinions during the pandemic, and they're just plotting their revenge. I think that's so interesting. I don't know why I targeted South Australia specifically, but I think they had any particularly different opinions to the rest of the nation.7:09
Do you think that? Like obviously, I've been I assume you haven't communicated with the bats? I don't want to make any presumptions.7:17
Personally,7:18
yeah, you personally, because obviously this the approach you've taken here is that the bats wrongly slighted or taking their revenge. The other alternative is they're just trying for the second time to wipe out7:36
that's true. My other thought around it was that like it's a lot of bats like to cause the electrical surges, but they also get killed as a result, right. Like they don't survive. So part of me was also thinking like, maybe the bats aren't okay, like know what there's no like, are you okay, day line for the8:02
I don't know how you do ask because you have you have to sort of do it in like echoes.8:06
I think it's echolocation right. It's like sonar. Hmm. So maybe if you made a physical sign that said, Are you okay, bats, they could bounce the waves off the physical sign and actually read it like Braille or8:17
possibly if it is sonar, a great thing that might be able to ask you about if they're okay, is our new submarines. They, I imagine, have some sort of sonar detector being built in South Australia. Yeah, that's right. Maybe that's why in fact, maybe that's why the bats are killing themselves in South Australia. Maybe they know that once they build the submarines that the submarines will be able to pick up on their plan, which is of course to overthrow Australia and eventually the world. wants it so no king goes off. If they need to take us down before the orcas deal goes through.8:50
A rational fear what is rational fear? In fear, satisfied headlines and giving them a little tickle.9:00
scams are back in fashion the I triple se scam which has revealed that 14,585 people last year were done out of $664,000 just by clicking on toll notices from from scammers on their phones. Meanwhile, I can confirm that about 331 people have been scammed on Patreon for paying for this podcast which is otherwise free. You know, the scammer knows the scam II do how do we sympathise with these people who are being scammed Amelia?9:31
Ah, I don't know. I think I have a lot of sympathy for like the victims of any scams because a lot of the times like they're really vulnerable. They're people in their 70s or 80s. Like you think about those romance scammers in particular like they're often like widowed like I think you feel pretty bad like knowing that like imagine if that was your mom right? Like you'd feel pretty bad knowing that you teaching your mom how to use Facebook in good faith all those years ago would like lately to lose In your entire inheritance10:02
my mom's cheating on my dad10:07
none of that my mom thinks there's a real problem with immigrants. I don't know where she's getting that information.10:13
It is crazy. I don't like it is so noticeable the amount I got another I got one today they are getting so specific like it started off as like, you know, it was very broad. You have a fine you haven't paid but now it's like, they're like I got a quite a specific one from my actual phone provider. That was I think they're just like they pick phone providers and send them out you but they just happened to get mine right. And I was like, nearly clicked on it. And I'm like that they're not going to they're not going to send you a hyperlink in your text Lewis like and also this isn't from Vodafone. This is just from a random number. And I'm like I'm relatively across this stuff. And I and there was a moment where I nearly I nearly did. But I have been done once I got caught. I did fall for one email phishing scam and it was the worst moment of my professional life. The10:59
font curls empty size 4611:04
I mean, was this was this back? Was this back when you were working for Norton Antivirus?11:10
They promised me an extra couple of inches I couldn't resist. No. It was like one of those. The first time I ever saw one of those. Have you seen this thing about you? Text? I don't know if you've ever gotten one of those gets that one. It's literally that's all it says it's a text message or an email targeted to11:27
people in the public eye specifically, have you seen this about you?11:31
Anxious now? I was like, Oh, no.11:36
What did I say that it's gonna hit me cancel.11:39
So I clicked on it and and it ended up getting every single person in my contact book. And, and then they and then I had to do like a full apology email to every like, professional people that I hadn't seen in years. It was it just as at the time I was like under 30. And as a person under 30 to have to email a bunch of boomers and go, I was fished on an email scam. Like you might as well retire. You know, I don't know how I recovered from that. First12:08
of all, you got to do a lot of explaining to those boomers, what phishing and email scam was.12:14
Okay, it's quite different. Spelling is similar.12:17
It's a bit like q&a on crack. Moose is a rational fear.12:25
This week's third fear we're getting new submarines maybe costing us $368 billion. Australia is getting a handful of underwater tubes that can shoot more underwater tubes. $368 billion may sound like a lot of money. But really that's only 368 years of the ABC. That's all that's all it is. That's all that is. nuclear subs. Lewis. What do you think about these subs excited about nucleus? I couldn't be12:49
more excited. Dan, I look I know. You know, Paul Keating, a lot of naysayers, a lot of cowards. A lot of people who pissed the bed at the side of the Chinese invasion. They're saying no. But me i i know full well that the boys and women, the men and women and who are under the seas are the ones who protect us every day for the great undersea threats that we face. I know that we haven't had a working submarine since Federation. I know we've had a lot of13:20
didn't act that way.13:23
Yeah, I you know what, I think this time is gonna be different. I know. There's no reason to believe that. And I know now we've added a little nuclear twist, which I think is an exciting, I can't wait to see how we fucked this up. I think13:36
it's so interesting. Like, the first steps we're getting there are going to be second hand American submarines. So we're gonna get American submarines that are going to be cleaned up and sent to us. And the head of budget range and the story like the government saying, Oh, it's gonna be between 278,000,000,370 8 billion, like that's a that's $100 billion. Like difference, like, that's it What a crazy range. I can only assume that 100 billion dollars is dependent on whether we actually convert the American submarines to right hand drive, I assume. I think14:05
it's whether or not we get tinted windows. I think that's quite14:09
you know, what gets me is like, I don't know anything about boats. I don't know why I would but like, what got me was when they said that they need to replace the submarines every two years. I'm like, that doesn't sound like a trustworthy boat. If anything, like if you have to replace your boat. At the same time that you have to replace a phone like don't go 20 metres underwater. I grew up not your life purpose.14:34
You really want to hope these Virginia class submarines or IP 68 Or you know,14:39
whatever, if you ever talk to any like relatively wealthy person, and you ask them what's the worst investment you've ever made? They'll always say a racehorse or a boat for similar reasons, which is that they will break and and eventually you'll lose all your money and it's just like, this is the multi multi multi billion dollar version of that we can't make planes that fly. We can't make helicopters that do their job. We can we barely make human being soldiers that can't commit war crimes. You know what I mean? Like, our country's military is pretty fucking rogue. I just wonder if at this point we might have to just give up,15:20
but just give up the country? No. Did we?15:23
If we just had no military, right? No one's fucking invading us. No one's gonna, like, what are they coming for?15:32
You know what, as well. They're underwater. No one can see them. I feel like a whole big visibility piece in war is that someone somewhere can see it. But if it's under the water, can't we just say that submarines are attacking each other? And we could just make up the facts? Like why do we need the boat?15:50
Amelia? That is why I'm going into the submarine building business. And we'll be launching our first submarine in 20 years. It's gonna cost $3 billion. Amelia, you're the you're the you're the foreman. You're gonna be running the sharks.16:04
It's so good. It's like, you know how when you sometimes move into a house that's in a sketchy neighbourhood, you'll put up a beware of the dog sign or like you put up like a security camera that doesn't work. We should just around Australia put up giant signs that are like submarines operating in this area. Watch out16:23
with these submarines. They are nuclear which means nuclear disposal nuclear waste is already debate about where that's gonna go Western Australia came out today to say we're not us. We don't have enough. We just don't. Australia just don't. Like well, that kind of makes sense. Because they couldn't be trusted with one bit of radioactive Lego brick. So they're like, well, we we can't even we can't even manage the Lego brick radioactivity. We can't What are we gonna do with the reactor? They everyone's kind of putting the pressure on South Australia to to build a hole. But that put that in?16:53
You mean a second hole has already Adelaide? Oh, well, you're ready to sell tickets anymore.17:00
There's a great comment from Peter Dutton on this and I swear this is not from butter. But he said he would love he would support the cuts to the NDIS in order to make way for the subs. Oh my God, when I saw that, I laughed. A big belly laugh. And it was just Oh, that's so typical. Like, that is the that is the most what? Like, someone would have written that as a joke. Like, that's not a joke. You're actually saying that.17:29
It's so much cut. What if we just bought one? Let them have one. You know, what are we looking at? They're like 20 billion 30 billion 40 billion. Like, we can have one. We'll give him one. But not as not 16 or whatever it is madness. I kind of I do feel like it's so funny that Paul Keating is the one that has turned the tide on this. An old man just like pointing his finger at the cigar. No, no, it's randomly managed to turn this around.17:57
There is a point to all this. That is the rise of the PLA and Zhi Jing ping did lay down a challenge to say, y'all need to get ready to invade Taiwan by 2027. Is this something we should be worried about in Australia? Or do we just go let them invade?18:14
I just don't think it's the same thing they don't they don't like Taiwan and Australia are different for literally all of the reasons. They're not similar in any way at all. I mean, there's like, these are very different situations are not quite it, this whole thing seems insane to me. Like I feel like, like maybe Albanese has like a kid who wants to be a submariner somewhere, like, there's got to be a shoe that drops in this conversation that we just haven't got to yet.18:41
It's so funny seeing the press coverage in the Sydney Morning Herald and the age in the lead up to this, their giant Red Dawn kind of media blitz scared the manufacturing of consent to kind of build up to this moment. It's so strange to kind of see, you know, actually happen unfold, unfolding in front of your eyes. And this time, now, being an old person now, and seeing many war cycles and seeing the media go through these war cycles by kind of saying, all the scary stuff that's leading up to an announcement and you're like, oh, and then when you see the actual announcement drop, you're like, Oh, well, that clearly makes sense. Because for the last three weeks, the major broadsheet has been kind of selling the idea of, of defence you know, in a major way, and here we are, here is the pie. We need to eat. So interesting. Like it's so it's kind of it makes me feel a bit disgusting. Like, knowing like seeing through the scene through the facade going, Oh, that's just what they're doing. In a moment. There's gonna be a huge19:33
rock or again, this is fun.19:36
Yeah, we lived it again. This is the worst sequel ever because we know the ending. Well,19:39
I think if we do want a solution that can make people feel a little more comforted in the event of an invasion or anything like that. We've got some super bats. Like they can protect us surely. We've got sky. We've got bats in the sky. We've got fake submarines underwater. Land. Do you bet like, come on?20:02
Yeah, good point,20:03
I'm not worried about an attack from China under the under the sea, I'm worried about a cyber attack on Bunnings. That's what I'm concerned about. And when that happens, that's when we send in the bats tit for tat.20:14
The only podcast made entirely by artificial intelligence, rational fear.20:23
If you're on the free feed, you're about to hear a live read from the Western AI about our sponsor, if you're on the Patreon, you're about to hear Adam Bandt. One story we didn't get to Louis is that during the pandemic, there was a whole bunch of people who pulled money out of their super fund. And the first thing that many people did was gamble, gamble that they gamble with their money. Can you believe that? I can absolutely believe it. Yeah, it's very sad thing to do. But you know, one thing you shouldn't do is gamble on the future of the planet, Louis? Well, I20:52
mean, it depends, then because what if you put the future of the planet on red? And then it comes up? Right? You know what I mean? Suddenly, the future the planet is looking twice as good. I'm not saying obviously, the odds are a little under 5050. But at the moment, probably less than 5050. Anyway, I reckon it's21:09
not bad odds. One group who aren't gambling with your money is Australian ethical. They're only investing in ethical businesses that are met. That means no fossil fuels, no companies that are detrimental to the earth. I just saw they divested from LendLease this week, which is incredible, because LendLease is doing some tricky things with land in New South Wales and koalas and overdevelopment. So that's really fascinating stuff from them. So and they are also sponsoring irrational fear. So big thank you to Australia, if they got down21:35
when the pandemic was on, I removed my money from my super and I invested in human trafficking. Now. I'm just wondering, what Australia legals position on human trafficking against against it21:47
that said it right. They're against it. They're, they're against human trafficking? Well, I mean,21:51
how did they come to this position?21:53
I don't know. You know, you should definitely ask Adam, if he and21:57
I will, I intend to give.22:02
Adam Bandt is joining us live via the Internet himself, one that he is in charge of because he's part of the government. Adam, welcome to rational. Hi, Dan. Thanks for joining us, Adam. It's always great to hear you pop in the show every three months. And we just want to ask you one question again.22:22
It's about the CPRS.22:28
I'll have you know that I was in Cape Town last month with an Irish journalist. And he said to my face, Google it mate. I love the google it mate guy. Can you believe that? I was in Cape Town with an Irish journalist. And they were quoting you? How do you feel22:43
about that? That's nice. I thought you're better say that he asked about the CPRS. But22:51
Adam, what where are you at? At the moment? Obviously, it's a very busy time for you for the greens for you know, climate change policy in general. What's the mood?23:00
I saw a tweet today that said, Well, look, we're about to come out of a learning year. What's the next couple of summers going to be like, and my sense from talking to people is that, but really, for a lot of people, people are starting to get worried about what the climate crisis is going to mean. And we've had sort of a bit of a wet time and sort of some reasonably wet summers. And I think now sort of Penny has dropped that it's that's not going to last. And so I think there's a growing sense that we've got to get our skates on that time is running out, and that we've got to act. And I think we saw that sort of manifested at the last election really, when you've got people that greens vote go up. But also independents winning seats, or former liberals in the independents who've got better climate policies than the government does, like suggests to me that there's actually a real mood and a real shift amongst people that was expressed at the election that says radio, it's really time to get on with it.24:01
I want to know, how are you working with those independents? Like, what's the what's the vibe like working with those community, independents in federal parliament? And how are you thinking about that movement as you head into state elections?24:15
I was very interesting in the the New South Wales election that's on at the moment, we saw not only the greens, but even now independents saying that in balance of power, they'll push for action on coal and gas and saying stop opening new coal and gas and rewind, a parliament or two ago, and it was just us who are pushing that. And I think there's a growing sense, like, including amongst independents, like if you're not tied to the fossil fuel industry, if you're not taking the donations from the coal and gas corporations, you just look at it. And it's like, it's common sense, right? And so why would you open up new coal and gas mines in the middle of a climate crisis? And what we're finding is the Greens have been doing this for a while, but now also a number of the community independents, who are able to speak with us Science and speak for what I think, you know, a large section of the Australian population are thinking and saying things that that in many instances match things that we've been saying for a long time. And I think that's really good. I think that's really good that we now have this parliament were sort of roughly speaking a third of the country, just less than that votes for the government a third votes for the opposition and a third votes for someone else. And if you had the kind of electoral system that you had in New Zealand, for example, that would just that would require multi party government all the time. And we're seeing versions of that I think being played out in our parliament. Now. I just think it's really good.25:38
What about the coalition with the government in New South Wales putting a ban on on mining offshore? That's pretty interesting. Do you take credit for that pushing them into that position?25:48
Well, this is exactly the point if the New South Wales, liberals can say that they're going to put a ban on, I think it was gas, oil and coal mining offshore. I didn't know coal mining offshore was a big industry. That's good. I stepped up. And, of course, a few asterisks and caveats. We've got26:10
an open cut mine, it's called the Pacific Ocean.26:14
So I mean, it's like there's, you know, there's, I believe that when I see it from the liberals, but the fact that they now think that it is in their electoral interests to say something like that, in the lead up to the election, I think shows how much the population has shifted. And The Australia Institute did a poll at the end of last year. That said, two thirds of people under 34 and 57% of the population generally don't want new coal oil or gas mines, right. And that's 57% of the population generally. And I think the penny kinda hasn't yet dropped in parliament that this is now a majority opinion.26:51
Who is the who's the 30 year old person, or the the 30% of those 30 year old people walking around going, you know, what we need around here? We need some new coal and gas I've always said27:03
so and I've given the given the like, debate at the moment, like, you know, not not in the New South Wales State election, which is also very interesting. But But federally, obviously, there's a lot of chit chat about, you know, Labour's policy at the moment, communicating with you needing your support. How's that looking? Where are you at?27:21
So the government's got a plan for a thing called the safeguard mechanism that basically allows unlimited numbers of coal and gas mines to come into the system. And they don't actually have to reduce their pollution, they just have to buy offsets, and they can keep on polluting what you've said to them. We think there's some real problems with the scheme. And but look, we're prepared to, I guess, put aside our concerns and vote for it if you disagree, to stop making the problem worse, and stop opening new coal and gas now.27:53
As a touring comedian, Adam, I sometimes fly between capital cities, and I do tick the box, and I know that that $2.70 of carbon offsets is doing fuck. But I check it because it makes me feel good.28:08
Qantas profits are doing pretty well, though, Dan. So maybe you're helping. That's good. Yeah,28:11
I'm helping out Alan Joyce. Yeah, well, I28:14
mean, he's just yet right. It's like these offsets for especially the large scale for Woodside that is proposing one just one of Woodside new projects, the Scarborough project off Western Australia, that alone would wipe out any climate gains from all of the 215 corporate entities covered by the safeguard mechanism put together 2030, right that we're talking about. And there's at least six new gas projects and more than six new coal projects that are in the pipeline between now and 2030. And more than 100 in the pipeline altogether. So these for these going, Woodside just got just tripled its profits. They're in the billions of dollars and the cost to them of offsetting, quote, unquote, the Scarborough project is about 5 million with an M a year. And these guys don't even pay any of the gas tax at the moment because the gas tax is broken. And many instances, big corporations in Australia don't even pay for the gas at all. So it's kind of coins down the back of the couch for these guys. And so we've said to the government, look, if you want to support, we're going to have to deal with this question of coal and gas. And we've said we'd look at other alternatives as well. People have talked about a climate trigger, which means you can't open up a big new project in this country. And as you take into account climate impacts, the independence others have put forward a range of proposals. We said we'll look at all of those but really this question of coal and gas, we have to start dealing with it and the government has to explain to the population why it wants to keep opening coal and gas mines.29:49
It's so kind of disheartening around the world to kind of see these huge projects still kind of get up. Biden administration this week, announced the konoka Phillips will open Protect, which is, if completed will, will kind of release 263 million tonnes of carbon dioxide over the next 30 years. What is this kind of deal with these so called progressive parties trying to show how green they are, you know, try to pretend that they're there for the environment, but are trying to also affect the planet at the same time? What's going on there? Like, what? What how did this Willow Project Get up?30:25
So the corporations that are meant and their lobbyists that are meant to be regulated by this new supposin climate policy that the government's putting up, donated over $900,000 to the government in the lead up to the election. So like, there's the coal and gas industries in Australia have enormous sway, like exercised through donations, but it's also a revolving door there, right. The other resources ministers, I think, get something like going back for the last 15 years, I'd stand to be corrected on that. But something like that every resource minister there was basically goes out the door and then ends up working for a resource company or their lobbyist. And so there's a big revolving door, there's big donations that come into play. And you see that in the US, you see that here as well. But it's completely as I said before, it's completely out of step with what people want. And I think there's31:18
sort of a whack on that, Adam, Adam on that, like, you know, $900,000 It sounds like to everyday person, that's a lot of money, right? But there must be more money. Let's go ahead and be away. Like there's got to be something that is not on the books that kind of is actually persuading these folks to do this because it doesn't, it doesn't make sense, like doesn't make sense. Like the money the amount of money you see, in the registers, like on the registers are so small, like, if I remember the film, the big deal, they were talking about numbers of 30,000 40,000 50,000. Like, That's chump change, like that's a car like what else they know, there's surely there's got to be more than than what's been32:00
27 big gas corporations in one year, between them bought in $73 billion of income and paid no tax, right? This is like we but these guys have their hooks into the Labour and the liberal parties. And they have seen it in Parliament, they basically they walk around the corridors of parliament with a metaphorical big stick and say, do what we want and what we demand. Otherwise, we'll run a campaign against you and try and oust you from your seats. And the and so far governments have been cowed by that, by that kind of threat and what I think, but what people aren't tweeting, but the government and the opposition haven't tweeted yet is that actually like the people, people would respond really well to a government that stood up to these corporations. And they said, No, actually, hang on, you got to pay some tax. And maybe your business model being premised on the destruction of the planet life, as we know, is something that we need to start winding down rather than boosting. And I think there would be huge, huge popular support for taking them on but as it is, at the moment, they're the ones wandering around saying, do what we want, or we'll run a campaign against you. And part of our job is to say, Well, no, actually, you probably it's getting to a tipping point now where you're going to lose more votes and more seats, if you don't take action on the climate crisis.33:26
On the upside, if the planet does collapse, we won't have to sell Comedy Festival. That is real joy. Adam33:33
is in a dream world, obviously, like in a world that you run that people who'd like the planet to survive run, you know, the Labour Party makes the decision to not allow any more coal mines, you know, gas mines, anything like that. But in a imperfect well health, where they're in a position where they've got, you know, in the Neapolitan ice cream that you described before 30% 30% 30% They've got vanilla on one side, they've got strawberry on the other and they're the chocolate in the middle. What Lewis34:03
is trying to say what does the Veneta Adam bad look like?34:09
I guess what I mean, is like, if it comes to a point where the sticking point between, you know, them getting any progress is is this coal and gas thing that that is again, from our point of view, crazy reasonable, but for whatever reason to them isn't. What what are you going to do with that? You must I know Dan joked about the CPRS. But The Haunting of of that must be on your mind or like, obviously, I guess what I'm asking is like it's a principles versus I guess, practicality decision, potentially. Like, how are you feeling about that at the moment? Yeah, we'll34:47
come in into I know the government loves to run the line about what happened, you know, a decade and a half ago and they completely and then if they ever Last Julia Gillard out of history as if as if there was no like, they forget that immediately afterward the greens and labour work together and put in place climate laws that actually worked in this country. But like just putting that to one side like that, that actually doesn't really concern us too much, because the the 20 year olds who are marching in the street now with signs saying no new coal and gas when Primary School when all that happened, and it doesn't quite have the purchase that that the few labour hacks might think it has. And they tell themselves that story a lot, and so on. But it's not our experience is that it doesn't resonate. And people think that our position is the common sense one, but like, if you look back over what we've done, since we've been in this Parliament, there's been a number of instances like the passing of the climate or passing the Evie law were passing of the law to take on the gas corporations where it wasn't done exactly how we would have liked it. But we took the view that the climate bore there 43% weight target, right really weak Tiger it's premised on exceeding two degrees which means the end of the Great Barrier Reef for example, in destruction in the Murray Darling Basin like that's, that's their targets. But we took the view that we could determine prove the law put in place a, a floor, not a ceiling, and we passed it even though we think it should have gone much further, because in our view, it was a small step on the road to tackling the climate emergency36:25
when you say Dutton peripheral, or do you mean like writing it in very like, with long, like very verbose language like,36:33
Yeah, something like that. The the way, we're, if we can take a step on this direction, then I would, we're obviously you've seen us say, Well, look, let's do that. But what, and we'll work together with the government to do that, even though what we think you're doing is nowhere near good enough. But I guess where we draw the line, is it making the problem worse, right? And, like if what the government is putting up, actually sees the problem get worse, because it says, Open slather on new coal and gas, and actually will tick the climate box and say we've done this, even as pollution from coal and gas continues to go up, then I guess that's, that's a place where I think anyone would say, Oh, you don't vote for something that makes the problem worse.37:24
Amelia, did you want to? Yeah,37:25
I just had one question. You know, as a pleb. I think I speak for the people that far and wide. And I think, you know, for this upcoming election, there's a hot button question on the minds of many Australians. So my question is, Fuck, Marry kill house of House of Representatives Senate. Or, you know, like that hectic, Picasso styled painting of Gough Whitlam in Parliament House. You know, the one I do you know, the one Adam, do you know, the one Louis?37:59
They don't let me in to Canberra or anyone for good reason. You know what I did? Yeah.38:08
I can't go there. The language of it maybe? Which one would you bromance one? In which one would you share? What can I say? Can I say I'm feeling after the last 48 hours. I'm feeling particularly finally towards Paul Keating. Anyone come out and put succinctly into words something that that that I've been thinking for a little while about better ways to spend over $300 billion. Who comes it comes out and does that manages to get on the front page. That's, that's worth a glass or two.38:52
Yeah, we've just got a clip to promote the show, Adam. That's great. Thanks, Adam. Thank you so much for joining us on rational VR. We just got a couple of questions from the folks on Patreon Peter McNeil says, How do I google the current cash rate? How does he do that?39:04
Go to a search engine of your choice. I've been advised that I should be medium neutral from now on so.39:13
And Hayden shore wants to know, what should the defence budget be? I'll take the answers in US dollars or submarine. It should be39:21
what it what works for us not what works for the US.39:25
And Adam. I did a bit of googling to see what you're up to lately, and it looks like your super fund is a bit dirty. And we have a superfund that sponsors our show that's not have you Would you ever consider moving your Superfund to one that doesn't sponsor fossil fuels?39:40
I don't know who isn't Superfund that39:42
that sponsors your Australian ethical looks after us? Very, very good.39:46
I am actually in a I mean a fossil free Fund The Daily Telegraph chose not to mention that particular39:57
point of our super fund is that they don't condone human trash. Okay, have you checked in on yours?40:05
They tell me they don't either.40:09
Hester has a different super fund for human trafficking. Adam, Ben, thanks for joining us on irrational fear.40:17
Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for having us on.40:20
is rational.40:23
That's irrational fear. Big thanks to Louis. Adam, Ben and Amelia. Adam, do you have anything to plug?40:29
Just yet vote great and see in the upcoming election.40:33
Oh, come on. nonpartisan show. All right. Go Jack come on here willy nilly and say vote Green. No. And they40:40
go and see Mandy Nolan at the Comedy Festival as well while you're there. Yes, Mandy40:45
Nolan also performing at irrational fear. Next Sunday in Brisbane. Amelia, what would you like to plug?40:52
I am doing the Melbourne International Comedy Festival from April 10 to 22 Birds apothecary. It's on the website for you know the one the big Melbourne one. And also Sydney in May, May 17 and 19 at the Factory Theatre. All right, Louis. What41:09
would you like to break down? We've got a great show irrational fear. Brisbane World Science Festival next week. What alarm bell bottle? Correct Mark Humphries. Mandy Nolan. The exact same person that Attabad just recommended. We agree. We agree on that. And also Daniel it's yeah, of course. He'll be there. This Melbourne International Comedy Festival second of April. What a while. Yeah.41:33
Who's Who's on the show?41:37
I've got a 10 week. Just41:38
one. Just one person. One person. Great. Same race time is on the show. Yes, very good. Very good. Big thanks to rode mics Australian ethical, our sponsor, patreon supporters and Jacob roundover Tepanyaki timeline until next time, we'll see you next week.Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN BRISBANEGโday Fearmongers โ
It was hot, it was fun, it was full of audio problems.
Nethertheless, here is the podcast of our Adelaide Fringe Festival Show.
The conversation we had with Kyam Maher, the South Australian Attorney General was super inspiring. South Australia is in the process of passing legislation to enshrine their own Indigenous Voice To Parliament, and the Attorney General is one of the folks leading the charge in SA to bring it to fruition.
Big thanks to the great Jacob Round (on the teppanyaki timeline) who took the dogy audio and massaged and mixed this episode so itโs very listenable.
ALSO on the podcast:
๐ก Dan Ilic discovers one of our co-hosts has a branding problem.
๐ Gabbi Bolt finds out just how long it takes to re-train as cop.
๐ธ Andrew Hansen doesnโt like his own name.
๐ Alice Fraser has beef with crypto bros.
๐บ Dylan Behan mashes up the summer of news you missed.
๐ Lewis Hobba finds someone to perform at the Kingโs Coronation.Brisbane ARF show only has 80 seats left!
If you were planning on coming to our World Science Festival show in Brisbane, you better be quick, itโll sell out. Thereโs only 80 seats left and with 3 weeks to go, run, donโt walk to get your tickets.
Also if comedy panel shows about science are your thing; Iโm also performing in a show called Night Of The Nerds, the night before A Rational Fear. Itโs like Spicks and Specs for geeks. Youโll have a good time.
Cheers
Dan
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๐๏ธ BUY TICKETS TO THE A RATIONAL FEAR LIVE SHOW IN BRISBANE0:00
This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical. When I formally introduced the legislation as Minister for Aboriginal Affairs in the upper house, there were so many Aboriginal people there that journalists and my fellow MPs from the chamber couldn't get in to have a seat. It was the proudest day of my working life.0:17
That is the voice of Kyam Maher. He is the Attorney General of South Australia and he said a whole bunch of other super interesting things. In this episode of irrational fear recorded live at the Adelaide Fringe Festival just last weekend now, please, just a word on the audio. I couldn't actually hear myself very well, because the audio was quite squeaky in the audience. I don't know how or why it sounded that way. I had a weird headset mic, so I changed my axe halfway through, it sounded a lot better. So Jacob round or the teppanyaki timeline has done absolute wonders at polishing the audio we recorded in Adelaide. So please enjoy this episode. And please enjoy the conversation we had with Kai Omar is really good. Also quick note. If you are in Brisbane and Melbourne, we're coming to you live March 26 in Brisbane at the World Science Festival that is selling really well. We've only got about 80 seats left to sell there. And then April 2 in Melbourne at the Comedy Festival. We are we've we're about half sold out there so pick up your tickets to Brisbane and Melbourne. Right now enjoy this episode of irrational fear recorded live at the Adelaide Fringe Festival1:21
in Burundi natural pork and pokey Oh Mango yellow Qatar curry Yara thumping De Niro pura chi ha mana Yang jeeyar Tacoma tamping the mining Nina Pudney Ghana Yatta Nina button Ipanema pokey Mocha bhandal Tula poro taken the 10 year panda Taberna to Tacoma, Yang Chicana yada, yada yada. Today we are meeting on sacred Ghana land. We pay our respects to all the Ghana that were and all the Ghana that are we pay our respects to all of our elders earthside and beyond and to all First Nations people. On behalf of the ancestors and Guyana people. We welcome you to our country and ask that as you travel these planes. You remember the people that walked here before you the spirit still lives amongst the steel or concrete the roads and the lawns wherever you go you stand on unseeded Aboriginal land, always was always will be.2:13
Hello, Robbie McGregor here letting you know that this is a podcast recording that as such you as the audience should make as much noise as possible. Specifically, you should laugh and cheer Dan's opening three jokes regardless of the quality. I know I know. I didn't make the rules okay. The following programme contains medium coarse language and traces of nuts. A rational fear recommends listening by immature audiences. Comedians experts sloughing at the world as it burns down around the live from the Adelaide Fringe Festival. This is a rational fear3:04
jumps as shocked as all around Australia hundreds of equity five gyms collapsed from too many reps. And the return of the s&p 500 has been a success delivering 51 million to the state. Next year South Australia you'll be able to buy a house and sit there and wait till we tell you where you can see the Southern Lights in Adelaide. Now tell the White Horse behind the streets. Live from the Adelaide Fringe Festival. This is a rational rational fearthis is the podcast that takes the news and gives it a little ride on the Oba. I didn't know what an Oban is. Sounds dangerous. That sounds pretty good. Alright, let's make our fear mongers for tonight. First up is a musical Wiz and a showbiz master of showbiz, a man who's no stranger to making people annoyed on television, but it's only apologise once. It's Andrew Hansen. Hello, Andrew. Hello, Andrew, you've annoyed a lot of people on TV. Do you have your advice for the project?
4:19
The project is apologise more often and somebody might start watching again.4:26
And they've received their second five star review at the Adelaide Fringe Festival but they refuse to let it go to their head. It's the very humble and she asked him to say this The artist formerly known as Gabby bolts. Yes. Gabby congratulations on your great reviews. What keeps you grounded?4:43
The rocks that I put in my pocket as they walk into the ocean.4:49
And then the first of two lawyers here on this panel is the satirical miracle that is Alice Rebecca Fraser. Alice, have you ever been on a call Many panels with more than one lawyer.5:02
I have always been more than one lawyer on the inside. Inside everybody there are two lawyers one wants you to win and one that wants you to fail and they're in constant court battle.5:12
And he's not only a DJ but a master craftsman of wacky clips from the news fighters podcast and behind the scenes on every TV show in Australia it's still in vain dealing what is the what is the worst comedy show you've ever worked on? No. I want to work again it's a very small and they know the law inside and out. I hope you have your parking tickets ready for review it South Australia's Attorney General chi ma5:42
good eye and good afternoon, everyone.5:43
Time for all of us visitors to this land. What is the strangest law in South Australia we need to be aware5:50
of you can spend two years in jail for pretending to be a clairvoyant. Is that right? Section 40 of the summary Offences Act.5:59
Just jail everybody who's claiming to be a clairvoyant because you wouldn't claim to be a clairvoyant. If you were a clairvoyant, because you'd see the jail coming.6:07
You can just imagine the prosecution the judge tells you Are you a clairvoyant or not you want to and you are gonna ask that case dismissed.6:15
And finally, each Sunday, our guest visits a maternity ward to drain the stem cells from discarded umbilical cords to keep him youthful enough to host Triple J. Dr. It's the radiant Lewis6:29
Yes. Welcome your6:30
children. Last time we came to Adelaide, we are done.6:37
We don't need to talk about the last time I came to Adelaide.6:39
We left on sour terms. Because, you know, Julie's Amuro booked us for the cabaret festival. And she got a few complaints about the comedy we did there was very anti Adelaide. So I've got some ground rules.6:50
Okay. There was actually the moment I started my like set. The last time we were in Adelaide, a man stood up and it was this is the cabaret festival, so very different energy to the fringe. He stood up and he was wearing a feather boa and he flicked it around his head and he read. That's not a camera. It was fucking amazing.7:14
So we've got some ground rules for tonight. So please, no barrel jokes. No wheelie bin jokes, and no human size receptacle jokes in general. Okay, that is that is it. That is it for tonight. And it's great to be here in Adelaide a little later on. We're going to be talking to Kyle about the voice of South Australia. But first here is a message from this week's sponsor.7:34
Jim Chalmers says if you've got more than $3 million in Super, you'll probably be okay with paying a normal amount of tax but tell that to the renters in your fifth investment property. Jim Chalmers wants to steal money from the super rich to give it to the slightly less super rich, is this the Australia7:52
we want? So these are confronting numbers.7:56
Jim Chalmers doesn't want you to enjoy Bollinger on your 66th birthday, who's forcing you to drink DOM pairing yuck. Instead,8:04
that's going to be a difficult time ahead. Don't8:06
let labour steal your third first class trip on the Queen Mary to this year away from you.8:12
It will get tougher before it starts to ease authorised8:16
by Rich for a second conversation about Super Australia.8:22
It is great. It's great to be in Adelaide. It's fantastic energy here it feels like like Austin at South by Southwest I've almost been run over by 10 scooters, which is great because it means if someone's paying 20 bucks to go 500 metres the economy is good. It's really good. It's really good. We're gonna get into a bit of SA politics in a bit. But before that yesterday I to promote the show. I was on ABC Radio. Didn't want to hear me on ABC radio with Joe Schilling yesterday. Yeah. Oh, great. Fantastic. Wonderful. Excellent. And8:48
listener. You're listening. Dan, have8:50
you seen the ratings for ABC Radio? I don't think anybody sorry, Lewis.8:55
It's a question. Levine. Lewis Andrew, myself, Dylan, we've all kind of started our careers on ABC, YouTube, Alice and Gabby as well. And like how many we started our careers like 2009 on TV? Yeah. 10 We went to air 2010 Yeah, you've been doing radio for like Triple J national drive.9:15
i When radio was invented, I was there. I was there the dawn of the very first broadcast and you did Winston Churchill shook my hand and said go and play flume Youngboy and I did.9:30
Louis you also do TV? You're a bit of a network star on the ABC.9:33
Sure. Yeah, that's right. When they need a white guy they they see if Charlie pickerings busy. And then they work their way down to will Anderson. And then they make seven or eight more phone calls. And if none of them are available. They check once more and then they call me9:49
It's so it's kind of interesting to say you know how ABC Radio Adelaide introduced us.9:53
These 12 minutes to five you're listening to your show. It is ABC Radio, Adelaide. Well Tomorrow at five pm at Vagabond at the Garden of Earthly Delights, you'll get the opportunity to laugh in the face of fear or irrational fear. Dan Ilic has been hosting this podcast since 2012. In our CO hosts with Triple J presenter, Louis Hobbs.10:16
It was Hobbs. Father, I think you might have a branding issue.10:22
Julius Silla has shaken my hand looked me in the eye and said my name on more than one occasion.10:28
It could have been a simple mispronunciation like that. I don't know, Louis, let's see if it was a mistake.10:35
You'll be co hosting with Lois Hobbs Of course, Triple J presenter but you always have10:39
low as this is bad. This is terrible. You've got you've got actually an SEO problem, which is search engine optimization. I actually Googled Lewis Hobbs and it came up with a football. This is Microsoft Bing you're also some kind of planetaries That's10:54
actually me when they gave me my first radio job.10:58
But when you put it into Duck Duck go this is what comes up we've discovered the Julian Sheila uses the security search engine Duck Duck guy. Don't lose. Don't worry. Like when I heard this, I had to defend your honour. Thank you so much. I needed to speak up.11:17
Well, Daniel edge. Thank you for joining us. It's good to know that you've finally got to Adelaide and you'll be part of irrational fear tomorrow in the garden. Have a great show. Dan, thanks for coming on.11:29
Thanks. So that's why I give a big shout out to my co host Lewis Hobbs. He's an absolute legend.11:34
Thank you, Dan. Danny, and11:38
all right, Louis.11:40
Honestly, I was gonna be really fucking nice to Adelaide this time. I wrote a whole thing about how not and you know what, fuck yourself. It's fucking barrel time. Don't11:52
punish the people for the one you know. You're all one11:57
person. You're all Julian Silla.12:01
Lewis. Sorry. Thanks for Thanks. Thanks for that, Louis. I'm sorry about that. Louis isn't the only one with nine complications. Andrew, you've got quite a complicated problem with your name. Oh, look,12:11
can I complain about my name in the in the form of song day? Yeah, if you don't find kind of spontaneously do this with a backing track? No, my name is Andrew Hanson and you know that comes with a few issues by this I could have been named after Charles the new King. I could have been James or bill or any damn thing that mom told me Andrew and it makes me wince cuz adopt the name of that Prince terrible name, known by any other name. That's what I want to be a blowgun name like brand new or a nutcase name like Barnaby, an ancient name like Jesus or any name since but I got the name of that Prince. Last night even worse, but didn't get a choice. And son is your surname I was told. I shared with a poly from the Ku Klux Klan, and a rock band of eight year olds. Andrew Garfield with Spider Man. Andrew Lloyd Webber's still fiddling with pants to cursed old name, but our moms weren't convinced. So we kept the name of that print. Sadly, it's a hard name to carry. It's even worse than Harry. I got the name of that print name. But if you're planning a baby, then take my hand squat. Don't give him the name of a print13:57
there is a bit like q&a on crack loses faith, rational fear.14:06
As we say goodbye to summer. Let's spend a minute to remember the stories we all avoided over summer. Dylan bang you watch too much news for one man. What did we miss? Yeah, thanks, Sandy.14:17
Did you have a good summer? A great summer. What about everyone? Everyone in Adelaide have a good summer. Yeah, I had a great summer because in Sydney at least was the first summer in about four years. We didn't have raining ash from bushfires. COVID lockdowns are scary new variants, keeping us indoors. But I don't know personally it felt like there was still not quite enough news. I don't know I watched all the news this summer and and edited together and tell me what you think. Tell me if you think tell me if you think there was much good news this summer.14:49
The rise in interest rates with the promise of wars income is the number one talking point right across the country.14:55
I'm certainly sorry if people listened to what we'd say the reserve The Bank says more rate risers are coming but the treasurer it seems is not convinced. It remains well that they have the decisions for the future haven't15:08
yet been taken.15:09
Angry shoppers are starting to call out examples of hyperinflation on supermarket shelves. With outrage over Cocoa Puffs nearing $10 A box15:19
right by parking a major shopping centres is now outlawed in South Australia and we are the parties of the Australian working class.15:27
The Pentagon is tonight tracking a suspected Chinese spy balloon travelling through us skies blue we15:33
look at it the very famous Australian cattle dog making its taboo.15:37
It's been a dramatic day on Sydney's northern beaches with several of them forced to close following a shark attack on a dolphin15:46
which is scary because you've combined clipper with JAWS. The worst combination you can get15:53
giant sail has had quite the adventure in the Victorian town of Fort Lonsdale. We're gonna go quickly.16:01
Visa unit in the Perth nightclub16:03
is banning red shoes labelling them a magnet for misbehaviour. What is the next shape?16:08
You're gonna have to change and you're gonna have to two games and sci fi superstars Nicole Kidman and Kate Evan and making the most of their time here in Australia. It was a recent trip to a kebab shop that had the Hollywood couple wowing locals.16:22
How exciting was it16:23
to have Nicole and Keith in your store and16:25
most importantly, what are they?16:26
Is it something that Keith hasn't tried yet that maybe you should give a go16:29
at any time of the day when it kebab isn't appropriate?16:33
For the great kebabs for tiny but potentially deadly radioactive capsule that was missing in WA is Outback has been found. In this case. It was a tiny capsule.16:44
15 years ago Prime Minister Kevin Rudd delivered a national apology,16:48
the opposition leader apologising for walking out on the apology 15 years ago.16:53
I apologise16:54
for my actions, notably absent from the anniversary breakfast this morning, Peter Dutton we don't need a voice we need is17:02
a powerful earthquake has struck Turkey now known as Turkey.17:06
ddrescue is in Turkey and Syria are deep into a second night of digging and freezing temperatures as they race to save any survivors of the earthquakes that struck the region more than 24 hours ago. Well, time for one more trip aboard the venga path.17:27
That's the summer of news. Yeah, thank you, Dylan.17:30
Let's continue on with hang on a sec. This is where we play a clip. When you guys want to chime in with a joke, just say hang on a sec, and we'll stop the tape. This comes from South Australian Senator Alex antic he is in some big Alex antic fanzine that's really one are really familiar with his antics. I believe that's the name of the Sky news show. Join me on Alex antics. That's what he's plans to do when he retires. So this is him instead of estimates talking to the Department of Home Affairs, about something very serious,18:02
your opening statement here, which, after the front of me, you made mention of the fact that the department's work extends to dealing with the effects of climate change. Yes. And to better position Australia to deal with the increasing exposure and vulnerabilities to nationally significant crises, including those due to climate change,18:21
we think I'm gonna say you hope that the next line is going to be? And is it going? Well? How do you reckon it's good? How can we help you do that better?18:33
Is that comedy? Or is it serious?18:36
Sounds like the Adelaide advertiser giving a review18:40
your opening statement? Is that comedy clarity, or is that serious?18:45
Are you referring to the question that you've asked me? I don't understand. I don't18:48
know the suggestion that the Department of Home Affairs is somehow prioritising the issue of climate change.18:56
Sorry, hang on a sec. He really stops to read the words climate change is like a job. Sorry, I'm just seeing this for the very first time. Climate climate change, explain more?19:09
What is this catastrophic thing that poses massive security risks for our country department of Home Affairs,19:14
because I know that like we all I assume, look at this and go, Well, this guy is just being he's just being and he's just getting in the way. And he's, this is theoretical, but he's just like slowing this shit down. And he knows he's that. But imagine if he genuinely had just heard about climate change. Like it would be a cause for concern.19:35
What he's doing is he's doing this weird thing. He's like cosplaying American politicians who are not actually in the room that they're in. They're just constantly trying to get tick tock clips of themselves going viral being like, a climate change. Like it's just that19:48
that's exactly what he's doing.19:50
I think Dan, he really wanted to ask about the venga bus, to embarrass to change and as a South Australian, we're sorry.19:59
Genuinely I know how to respond to a rather oddly put question, you asked me whether it's comedy. It's my job. I don't I don't really understand what you're asking me.20:07
Well, so you mean to tell me that the Department of Home Affairs is prioritising the effects of climate change?20:14
I just enjoy the fact that they're going back going back and forth going, is this comedy? Is this a question? Is this comedy? What's the question? What's comedy?20:21
It's actually their version of who's on first, which actually is classic comedy.20:26
Is it safe to say that the department has been captured by leftist ideology?20:32
Oh, hang on to say he's the comedy. Arrived in the form of that question.20:39
I went to his Twitter page to see just what his deal is, and who he follows. Who do you think Alex? Liberal senator for South Australia follows? Who is the one person that he follows? Somebody already yelled it out. You want to say it all together? 123. That was Trump, I think and yes, hangable any person he follows his Donald Trump I think that's the real company right there.21:12
Only podcast made entirely by artificial intelligence. Russian Oh,21:21
please give it up for Alice Fraser.21:25
Hello, this is about the news that four new charges have been added to Sam Venkman. Freed's criminal indictment bringing the total number of charges to 12. If you don't know Sam Backman freed was a crypto trader, who was the darling of both Silicon Valley the Effective Altruism community and the Harvard whitebread wank stains for being a tussle head shorts wearing compulsive gamer who seemed to have the magic touch with other people's imaginary money. Silicon Valley is obsessed with startup culture, which you could be mistaken for believing is about starting new and exciting businesses when in fact, it's sort of a gold rush of hype and an obsession with getting bought out quickly by a big fish. So you never have to admit that most online companies don't have a business model at all other than selling your attention to the advertisers. This is just about the acquisition of legitimacy via the public investment of venture capitalism. Essentially, you should give me more money because heaps of people are giving me money, but their job is to talk other people into giving them other people's money in order to give it to other people. Sam Backman freed managed to self brand as a scruffy wunderkind while escaping into his 30s in the Bahamas as one of the world's richest men while doing experimental new wave polyamory with his colleagues, which should have been a red flag as to productivity, because who has time to pioneer a new way of running human sex, while also being responsible for billions of dollars, such as society's willingness to let young fuckheads gamble with huge quantities of money. And at one point, somebody told him that he should think about getting a board for his company, and he told them to go fuck themselves, and they still invest it. And this is happening in a country America which makes mothers go back to work six weeks after giving birth six weeks, I don't want to get graphic but you have barely stopped bleeding. And look, I'm not saying it's that bad. In Australia. After I gave birth, I got a government payment to see me through the first 18 weeks postpartum it was about it arrived about 11 months after I gave birth. And in order to get it I needed to fill out about 30 pages of the most intrusive invasive Kafka esque paperwork explicitly designed to make you feel like our filthy leech sucking on the morally superior teat of the benevolent and hard done by government, while also asking those kinds of questions that make you question your ability to read reason or comprehend the English language. What I am saying here is we have not figured out how to attribute value to things when we're giving money to men to spend on imaginary money that only exists because other people believe in it. And we are not paying people enough to make human beings.23:52
If Elon23:53
Musk made a human being you'd give him a fucking Nobel Prize. Even from a purely selfish perspective, you know, the first two years of a baby's life are incredibly important to have a personal connection with at least one priority caregiver. Right? And I'm again, from a purely self interested perspective. Who do you want wiping your ass when you are 90 years old? Is it somebody who knows what it feels like to be loved? Yeah, so what we need to do is give parents enough time and money to make the human beings that are going to be the doctors and the nurses and the carers of the future, rather than passing it down the magic money machine. Thank you.24:38
What is rational fear? It's based in fear, begging the saddest headlines and giving them a little tickle.24:45
Yummy. Before we hear from the law itself, you actually have been considering other careers before comedy.24:53
Yeah, I mean, there's not a lot of proof that there's a lot of security in comedy, and it may shock all of you to know By looking at me that I don't have a degree so anyway, so yeah, I did I had a little Google, we're all good information is found. And I am I was sort of looking at, you know, jobs with career growth that I can have longevity in that provide a good mindset and all that you send me that link. You're not gonna want it when I tell you what it was because I kept I kept seeing one really weird thing that kept popping up and that was the police. Yeah, no, I thought surely not. Surely you have to have a criminology degree to join the police force. But if you have one,25:33
that's just just for kinds benefit. This is the New South Wales Police.25:37
Right? Yeah, no show. I know it is. So yeah, I'm from the premier state, but it really should say the premier state, but regardless, I Googled how to look. And I was like, surely not, I had to keep going, you know, so I kept looking, I was like, Okay, well, well, what is the bare minimum? You know, what is the one requirement that you need to join the police force, you know, the job where they train you up to have a gun and then say protect everyone, and it's six months. So I thought about it a bit longer. And I thought, what if you applied that level of training to literally any other profession. If you're a cop, you might want to pop out for about two minutes.26:19
Or just put your gun away. Put that one down.26:23
Kindergarten teacher would only have up to F. When they look at their curriculum to teach the alphabet. A surgeon would not yet have even touched a surgery. But six months yep, that's all it takes to join the ALS bullies. A lawyer would be juggling four subjects on their feet. When on average, there are 38 subjects to complete. They cannot yet defend object or bargain for replay. But meanwhile, you can make arrests when you're the AWS police seems fair. A retail worker would still have a skerrick of their soul. The West Coast Eagles still would not have scored a single goal. Michelle has not been introduced as child of destiny. You can look up kids when you work for us police. The age of criminal responsibility in this country across the board is 10 when I was 10, I couldn't even spell criminal. Our first time mom is still too busy cooking up a kid. A first time architect is still drawing up the blueprint. Our first time taxidermist is still fucking creepy, but so is the fact that in six months you can join the US police. A politician would have only fucked up 40 times and for every fuck I may they weren't until about 40 lives. A toaster support worker still has not got back to me. But I would not have that problem. If I worked for us police hands off Telstar it's fun Lulla Lulla Lulla, firearms, military complex. III all the people I know that went into that career were annoying at best and horrifying and worst. A lot of driver would still be making them longer. An office worker still has not worked up two weeks in lieu a musical comedian just has this six months yet all it takes to only make arrests and join us28:38
this is Russian Oh28:44
Hello, Daniel. It's here just pausing the podcast let you know that podcasts don't pay for themselves, no generous sponsors do and our generous sponsor for this 10 weeks is Australian ethical. They are sponsoring us and we are very grateful. They love money. In fact, they love making you money. That's what they do. And they do it ethically. So they they stay away from things like fossil fuels and they stay away from things like human trafficking weapons, all sorts of baddies drugs, actually, I don't know. Maybe good drugs. Oh, no. I have to look at the portfolio. I haven't looked at what they looked at what they've invested in. Maybe they invested in pharmaceuticals, but certainly not recreational pharmaceuticals sold on the black market. No, they're not putting money into that. So big thank you to Australian ethical. They've been around since 1986. Making money work and doing good things with it, including sponsoring podcasts.Thank you so much Australian ethical. later on this year, the whole country will vote in a referendum on the indigenous voice to parliament. The listeners outside of South Australia. You may not know this, but just a few days ago, South Australia passed legislation to enshrine its State's own First Nations voice to Parliament. Thanks to this man. He is a proud Aboriginal
man. The first indigenous person to hold the Office of Attorney General it's time, Ma.
Time, congratulations. What an extraordinary treatment. What can you tell us how it felt to pass that legislation?
30:16
So it's passed the upper house of parliament that goes through the lower house, which by definition the government has the numbers in so we will have a fully elected Aboriginal voice to the South Australian Parliament by the end of this month. Wow. Fantastic. When I formally introduced the legislation as Minister for Aboriginal Affairs in the Upper House, the public galleries were absolutely stacked with Aboriginal leaders, people that I've known, respected and been my mentors for decades. There were so many Aboriginal people there that journalists and my fellow MPs from the chamber couldn't get in to have a seat. It was the proudest day of my working life.30:52
How did you feel like how did you feel like getting that getting that bill passed and the upper house30:56
just amazing. At the end of my 20 minute speech, introducing the bill, I haven't been there before when people have stood up and clapped. There were tears there a lot of emotion. As I said, it was the proudest day I've had since I've worked anywhere.31:11
can sue Are you saying that if this incredible, by the way, but I there was one thing that caught my ear there, if you fill up the holes, the politicians can't get in.31:24
That does create a big incentive for the politicians from the other chamber who wanted to come and watch it. Not find places to go, uh, yeah. You were thinking of a sneaky way to planning an31:34
insurrection. But it's it's good to have a backup, you know.31:39
So that's so exciting. I was in Cape Town two weeks ago, and I was talking to some First Nations folks who I'm friends with from Guatemala, about the indigenous voice to Parliament. And I had I happen to have the 270 page final report and I was showing it to them. They said to me, then this gives me chills like this is incredible how many voices to Parliament from indigenous folks are there around the world, you know, there are32:03
numbered in different ways. Some Scandinavian countries have their own indigenous Parliament's there are reserved seats for Maori people in the New Zealand Parliament. But certainly in the Australian context, what we're doing South Australia will be the first of any ego, state or territory, and we think will be a really good sort of signpost and hopefully allay some fears with the national referendum coming up.32:23
Yeah. Well. Of course, the lefties in the audience are clapping girl. That's so exciting. Like, this is something that I'm super interested in. You know, Peter Dutton says he doesn't have enough information. Does he not have enough information?32:43
Yeah, he has plenty of information. As you said, there's a 270 page report. Yeah, he asked 15 questions. We wrote out the answers to all those 16 questions in terms of how our model works.32:54
Yeah, but did you do it in bold in,32:57
you know, and it was only 12 font. So probably wasn't, it wasn't good. But at the end of the day that it is really simply boils down to allowing Aboriginal people more of a say, in decisions that affect their lives. It is as simple as that.33:12
There are three no camps, as far as I can tell, there's like, recognise a better way, which is like the traditional conservative liberal camp, there's advanced Australia, which is the modern batshit crazy camp. And then there's a third camp, the progressive, no vote made up of a lot of grassroots folks. I follow a lot of like, black and First Nation folks on social media. And it seems to be a bit of disk discontent around the voice, there seems to be there's this progressive no vote is is, is they're all behind this progressive no vote for very compelling reasons around sovereignty, and treaty, they want something more, how do you bring those folks to this conversation?33:52
I have a lot of sympathy for people who want to see treaty want to see it happen, and want to see it happen. Now, it's a couple of centuries overdue in Australia. But my first political involvement was at the end of last century with the referendum to become a republic. And there were splits in the yes vote for the referendum, those who wanted to directly elected president rather than an appointed one. And those the sort of split in those who wanted to see us become Republic, I think caused it to fail. I would hate to see this referendum go down. Because those who want to see more happen split onto the sequencing treaty first or voiceless. I'm very firmly of the view. If this referendum fails, and we don't get a voice treaty won't be seen in our lifetime. It's not a question of your vote voice down and we get treaty quicker, I just don't think that's going to happen. So34:39
that was what I was going to ask Do you see them as like one and then the other rather than one getting in the way of the other sort of putting people off for a while?34:47
Absolutely. A lot of the people that I talked to Marcia Langdon and Megan Davis, those who have been heavily involved before and since the Uluru statement from the heart in 2017. I think sensibly look at sequencing that it makes sense have a voice first. And that sort of voice can then help progress, how you then go about truth and treaty. So I think it makes sense the sequencing. But even if you don't agree with that being against voice doesn't mean you're gonna get something else quicker.35:14
Is there anything in the voice that because I know there was some talk earlier about it actually getting in the way, not just in terms of getting in the way, theoretically of sovereignty? And like, there were people who were really worried that it would be like, no, no, if we get that, then that actually can't happen. Not won't, but can't. Is there anything any truth to that?35:32
I can give you some pretty strong advice. No.35:35
Thank you very much. That's all I have to say35:40
that there are so many things that thrown up, this will become your third chamber of Parliament and now a level of bureaucracy. It won't. What we've got in South Australian what has been proposed federally is an advisory body, it will mean when government makes decisions, they will listen more to the views of Aboriginal Torres Strait Islander people.35:58
That's it. It's less sexy when you call it an advisory body. It makes the whole things like obviously, everybody feel like this whole country is up in arms. What over an advisory body36:10
when you sort of distil it like that? It really Yeah. In those simple terms. Yeah. Well, what's the harm? What's the worst thing that can happen? Yeah, Aboriginal voices will be listened to more?36:21
Well, what I want to know is I think what everyone wants to know which is will the voice be forced to enter every room? Well, John, phantoms your voice and understand it plays as their theme tune?36:32
I'd like to say yes, but I don't think we can make that happen. We don't know the bagpipe anywhere in Australia for them.36:41
There's a lot of kinds of things, folks that no, it feels like this has been a real growing movement. And over probably the last 15 years, you see a lot of kind of movement towards recognising Aboriginal people in the Constitution, things like that. We have, you know, something very small. We have tried to buy for a lot of Aboriginal voices. We have an origin of country now podcast. You know, we say every week, you know, sovereignty was never never ceded. We need a treaty. And I'll be honest, when I heard that I stole it off Tom Ballard's podcasts because it sounded really good. But I mean, it. Is it tokenistic to do that? Or is it meaningful to kind of have these things in small ways in products we make? I don't37:21
think it's at all tokenistic. And I think it would be the overwhelming view of Aboriginal people that it is important to do that. It is the case. Yeah, it is just plain statement of fact, sovereignty was never seen, and you didn't see Aboriginal people a couple 100 years ago, you can have my country, you can ruin my culture, you can take away our kids, you can take our language, yet sovereignty was never seen. It is a basic statement of fact, and I think many Aboriginal people appreciate that recognition37:46
will climb. Thank you so much for risking your reputation to come on irrational fear. Yes, give him a round of applause. Thank you so much. And just for balance, I think it's important we hear from Peter Dutton. So I've got a clip. And kayam, I might ask your legal advice after this.38:07
Hi, Peter Dutton here, I'm calling on albeau to provide more information of the indigenous voice to Parliament, but not in the format of a 270 page report, but too much information. And not in the format of a series of one on one consultations for constitutional experts, and the Prime Minister himself. That information is to oral and as you know, I've heard of listening, which is why I refuse to hear members of my own party advocating for a yes position. You could try to make a pamphlet with pictures that move when you pull a little tab, but it'll go straight into the shredder. If a report, briefings, conventions, pamphlets, a decade of development, and even lobbying from my own party won't convince me Peter Dutton, maybe there's another reason that a former Queensland cop is against an indigenous voice to Parliament, but just can't put my finger on it. But if I did, I'd have to vocalise it, then I'd have to sue myself for defamation. And maybe that's the only detail that's missing. Elbow39:14
authorised by plausible deniability camera. So, attorney general, in your expert opinion, is that sketch defamatory? Can I play that in public?39:25
Then I would love to have the power to dispense with the laws of defamation for the purpose of this show tonight. But am I afraid? I don't.39:33
That's very muddled advice. I think we'll just move on. Please give it up for Louis Harbour. A39:39
rational fear.39:44
Hello, thank you very much. Remember when you were a kid, and it was your birthday party. And just before it started, you have a flash of worry. What if no one turns up that fear and fortune Suddenly is coming true, not for a child. But for a poor lonely 73 year old man from England. The man's name is King Charles the third. Because on the sixth of May this year, King Charles is getting a little crown place between his mighty years and he's throwing himself a coronation party. And he's asked all the huge musicians to join him. Adele, Ed Sheeran, Elton John, Robbie Williams, the Spice Girls Harry Styles, they've all said no. So at this point, so many people have said no to playing it King Charles has coronation he's going to be thinking about booking sticky fingers this is how dire the situation is this is true right after Robbie Williams had said no. King Charles went ahead and booked the rest of take that the rest of take that take that with no Robbie Williams is like buying a car without the wheels. Like it's technically a car but you don't pay for it. There was a time when being the king of England man you could just cut off the head of anyone who looked at him funny. And now the king in 2023 is reduced to booking take that without Robbie Williams oh well at least now they won't have to hide Prince Andrew and Robbie performs kids unfortunately for Charles the worldwide vibe on the British monarchy is at an all time low. With the effects of colonisation racism, both old and new. And the fact that they just won't do anything about Andrew it's easy to see why Ed Sheeran might not want to stand up and sing I'm in love with your body directly to King Charles it makes sense that Harry Styles said no to King Charles Harry saying no to Charles it's kind of a tradition they're developing over there. But I think then I wasn't a drone. I think we could have just left oh it could have just been like oh yeah. Oh yeah. See he's got a son called Harry he's yeah and we could have grown was unnecessary. Is Julian fucking Silla been told me people is this a fucking let's not cover what's happening again, Lewis? I think obviously the Harry no makes sense. I think the no that really would have hurt King Charles was Elton John. He asked Elton John. Elton John said no. Now obviously, Elton John did be at Diana's big send off. You might remember. The last thing you want to hear about your coronation is it was less fun than your ex wife's funeral.That one you could have grown to I would have let it grow and happen on that one. Because Elton John, you might remember he rewrote the lyrics to Candle in the Wind for when Diana died. And I think he could easily do that again. Now for King Charles, I think a little something like and it's said it seems to be you lived your life like a man who yells at men and know and how to hold them when you sign and things. What advice he has it Oh, what a triple threat. Very good. Very good so much. I think it's a very bad sign for a leader when musicians hate you. I think like personally, I think Australia should be a republic. And I think it's frankly embarrassing that Australia would ever take orders from a guy who would book take that without Robbie Williams. I do feel a bit sad for Charles because I have party anxiety. It's the worst isn't the worst. Like the conversation, the rest of it, but it's bad. It's bad. It's what I'm saying. And since I know Charles is a huge fan of the podcast, thank you, Charles. Here's some suggestions of people that I think might say yes to playing at his coronation. So the first port of call if I was him would be people who actually love the Royals. Unfortunately, they're all inbred losers too busy to collecting teaspoons to learn to play an instrument. So they're all out. So here's who might actually do it. Oasis. Now. People have been begging the Gallagher Brothers to get back together for years. They hate each other and so they won't do it. But I think Charles could sit those two boys down and put their fight into perspective. Oh, you hate your brother, do ya? How many times did your brother get on Jeffrey Epstein's plane? Zero. Get the fuck out there and play Wonderwall. You If I was to say no, Charles might need to find someone who maybe hasn't read any news in a while. That could be an option if he was trying to find someone who didn't know anything about what's been going on with the royal family. I suggest Enya. Now Enya? This is true. A true fact. This isn't even a joke about Eddie. This is just a true fact. She lives in a castle alone with 12 cats. Like I don't reckon she's read the news. The problem with Enya if I may, is that she is notoriously Irish, which means Charles's family probably murdered some of India's family. Can you imagine actually having to consider that when you are booking entertainment for your party? Has my family killed any of your family? Okay, low vibes far all right. I haven't done it he fucking Christ. All right. Which brings me finally to the only idea that I think might work. Holograms, people have been making artists perform as holograms for over a decade. Now they'll say yes, because they can't say no. You could literally pick anyone you could have Holly hologram Harry Styles hologram Elton John. Hologram Adele, he could even add hologram Robbie
Williams, to real life take
that. And to finish the concert, I think he should resurrect his dead mother, who, floating above Westminster Abbey could finally say she loves him and ask the world to be nice to him. Now. If you think that's not possible, I want you to just Well, as I say close your eyes, but no, keep them open. Because just look at this. Imagine this floating off to Westminster Abbey. Hologram Robbie Williams probably shirtless. He's his pawn with the rest of take that right. And then the Queen's hologram floats up. And I love you so much, Charlie. I hope everyone in the world is being very nice to it's beautiful.
47:09
Lewis Hobbs everyone. Fantastic. That is it for rational fee. Please think Gabby Lewis Dylan Andrew. Attorney General chi Ma? Is that everyone? Yeah. Delia thank big thanks to Ryan Mike's Australian ethical token events. Dane Nathan Yvonne Kathleen Jacob ran on the timeline. Our new patreon supporters Peter Clayton Darren your grab Nick Mueller, Colin Robertson, Tiffany Barreca Aaron Burke and Peter Lawler is back until next week, there's something to be scared of GoodNites by47:41
rational,47:43
a pretty fun show from Adelaide A big thank you to Adelaide. What a great town. What a great vibe. Oh my goodness, the town was absolutely popping off. It is such a wonderful place to hang out for a few days. Congratulations on having such a brilliant festival season. Thank you for going out to say everyone it is so cool as an artist to go to Adelaide. Love you. Lots. Thank you so much. Looking forward to being in Brisbane and Melbourne in just under three weeks time. Please head on over to the World Science Festival website to get your tickets for Brisbane and head on over to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival website to get tickets for Melbourne. Alright, cheerio. See you next week.Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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Here is this week's podcast โ Lewis Hobba, Elyce Phillips, Jane Ball, and Dan ILic talk shit about:
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This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical. Good evening Lewis.0:05
Hello Dan. How are you?0:07
Lewis? I'm at the start of the show. I'm energised because I want to tell the people who are listening in Adelaide and Melbourne just one thing and that is to please please for the sake of breaking even buy a ticket to the show.0:20
Absolutely. If you happen to know the Port Adelaide Football Club get them all along. If you know this Adelaide strikers sixes0:33
This is good. This is good. This is good local content. If you know anyone whose family ends in polites get them alone.0:41
Oh, my family are from Adelaide originally, my mum and dad met at Adelaide University. So if you if you're at Adelaide University, you know, man, you're looking for love. Maybe one or two could have a little Lewis0:56
or at all, Louis, depending on how your Louis is go. We've got a great show in Adelaide and we've got Gabby bolt, Alice Fraser. We've also got Andrew Hanson from the chaser. And we've also got for some reason, the South Australian Attorney General is joining us in Adelaide, which is amazing. We're gonna be talking to him about South Australia's voice, which is great. And Melbourne is selling a lot slower than we anticipated. Despite having Grace time on the show, which killed last year. You guys gotta get tickets, you gotta go go right now to Melbourne Comedy festival.com.au and buy a tickets, not even the websites probably why we aren't selling many tickets. But you should go you should go and buy a ticket because it's so it's such a huge show. And it's gonna be really great. Surprisingly, Louis, our Brisbane show is doing really well for sales. We've already sold like 120 So we're like we're killing it. The show's not even on for like another another few weeks.1:46
It's the World Science Festival and they sent me my invite the other day and I was flicking through some of the other events that are on and we stick out. I'm like these people are very smart. And they've done a lot of research.2:02
We've done we've got a really smart person on stage with us. His name is Dan Ilic. Her name is Jessie Christiansen She's a doctor. She runs the exoplanet library for NASA and she works with the JW S T team, the James Webb Space Telescope team so we're going to be grilling her about aliens. It's very exciting. So that is happening in Brisbane at the end of March. I'm recording my irrational feet on Gadigal land in the urination. Sovereignty was never seated. We need a treaty. Let's start the show.2:33
A rational fear contains naughty words like bricks, Canberra, fed gum and section 40 of our rational view recommended listening by immature audience.2:46
Tonight with the New South Wales set to vote next Saturday, polling suggests the other guy is maintaining a strong lead whatever his name is and the creator of the comic strip Dilbert goes on a racist tirade getting him dropped from hundreds of newspapers but a job offer at the Australian and after Rupert Murdoch admits that Fox News was lying to its audience. Donald Trump has accused the media mogul of throwing his anchors under the table instead of in the sea where they obviously belong. It's the third of March 2023. And with more lies than Fox News. This is irrational fear.Welcome to rational fear. I'm your host former only fans nurse Dan Ilic. This is the podcast that puts a shot of vodka. In your news, irrational fear let's meet our fear mongers for tonight. They're a former corporate ladder climbing shill, but now they are a children's party clown performing her show slops at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. It's Jane Bell welcome Jane.
3:53
Hello, hello. If anyone wants to book a clown please reach outs to her on this side of the ladder now4:01
you just do corporate ladder comedy Do you do you turn up to kids parties and say hey, let's talk about some EBIT DA is that what happens?4:09
I feel like I was more doing clown comedy in the workplace. And now I found my target audience so it's honestly for the best.4:19
And she has haunted the writing rooms at hard quiz and has been published in McSweeney. She's also sells a bathing suit covered in little cute hands on her website, performing her show tropical holiday at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. It's Elise Phillips. Welcome, Elise.4:34
Hello, thank you for having me.4:36
These bathing suits on your website do they sell well they look amazing little hands on.4:43
Literally any other piece of merch I've ever made in my life.4:47
Really? It looks amazing. It looks it looks incredible. It looks this might sound weird, but it looks delicious.4:56
Oh, thank you.4:57
Thank you, men's version as well. Do you do like a speedo4:59
ABS salutely We've got a swim trunk. Haven't got to Speedo yet. I think I think a bunch of spunk covering ham would be a good option though.5:10
I'm ready. I put me on the waiting list.5:12
All right. Speaking of hams, it's Louis Harbaugh.5:18
a delight to be with you thrilled. I don't know how long it's been since our last one. It might be a week. It might be a year for three weeks,5:26
I think two weeks. Yeah, two weeks. In5:28
fact, Dan, I know we don't do a lot of personal business. But you were in South Africa. Did you have a nice time?5:34
I had a great time I hung out with the my birthday of fellows from the birth of Foundation, who kind of got this podcast back on his feet for a couple of years. So it was a really amazing and inspiring time saying you know what everybody's been up to so yeah, went to Cape Town. It's really good. Good place there. I like it.5:50
How are we looking for this season? financially? Do they call you guy over there to fight?5:57
No, no, I strain ethical was looking after us. And if you if you're on the Patreon, you don't hear the ads. But if you are on our regular feed, of course, you'll know that Australian ethical is looking after us. So we're being looked after this year from them. But maybe maybe there could be some special birth of money later on down the line. I pitched them an idea of doing a show from the First Nations group who are sitting on a Danny's land. I thought it'd be funny to take a bunch of our friends Louis like David Simpson and Craig quarterman. And Steph Tisdall and do a comedy show. At the defenders land on the Adani land, I thought that would be really fun. So they seem to be interested in that and they may even pay for it. So6:40
a lot of fallen to remove us right now. So now6:44
like I like I had a realisation while I was there. We no longer live in electorates. We live in billionaires bank books. So you have to pick the billionaires you like we are. We're I'm a big fan of this birther guy, you know, and some people are big fans of Clive Palmer. So you gotta pick your pinky. You gotta pick your billionaire. New it's the new AFL.7:04
Are you thinking of reaching out to other South African billionaires if you goto one you keeping it to
7:16
every good joke someone does on the podcast is rewarded with one master diamond.7:24
Speaking of sponsors, here's a message from this week's sponsor. Jim Chalmers says if you've got more than $3 million in Super you'll probably be okay with paying a normal amount of tax but tell that to the renters in your fifth investment property. Jim Chalmers wants to steal money from the super rich to give it to the slightly less super rich, is this the Australia we want? So these are confronting numbers. Jim Chalmers doesn't want you to enjoy Bollinger on your 66th birthday. He's forcing you to drink DOM pairing yuck. Instead, that's going to be a difficult time ahead. Don't let labour steal your third first class trip on the Queen Mary to this year away from you. It will get tougher before it starts to ease authorised by Rich for a sane conversation about Super Australia. Thank you Rich seawards for a sane conversation about Super really appreciate your support this week. This week's firstly it Yes, it is bad news. If you're a billionaire, you may have to pay slightly more tax on your super if it's above $3 million. The Treasurer Jim Sharma said that the new measure will only affect 80,000 people. Most of those people probably won't care or don't even notice that they're actually paying a little bit more tax. Ato statistics are absolutely zany for this. I don't know if you've seen this. And apparently there are 27 people with more than $100 million in Super there is one person, there is one person with $544 million in superannuation. Oh my god, the question must be asked, Where will these people find the money to pay slightly more tax where where? What kind of person has this has more than $3 million in this year but at least9:05
I should fess up the $544 million one that's that's me I finally consolidated all 500 of my super accounts.9:16
Subscribe subscription I don't see your name anywhere in the Patreon subscribe.9:20
I tried to count off my admin and it's just as backfired her rific9:26
love support the Patreon but with this new tax I mean, how are you?9:31
It's in impossible. It's impossible. I'm gonna be living on base for the rest of9:36
your day. I can't believe anyone in any journalist, any bounty hunter, any private investigator is doing anything else with their time right now other than finding that person like that's the only thing all newspapers should be on that 24/79:54
I would like to pitch a concept specifically to the $540 million person I assume they listen to this podcast. It's a new holiday I've thought of called Super Claus. Basically, this super, super fund owner acts as the nation's Santa Claus. He reveals Himself. And then one day a year, we can all go to them and say what we want for in our superannuation in our self managed super funds, he grabs those wishes, and he gets to live his life as beyond even human, just this legend. And then we all move on. It's a good news story. No one's angry at him for a super balance. It's just it's a new holiday.10:39
That's about as you can to turn the tables on your parents and you can tell them that that person doesn't exist. I mean, here's the thing. Are these boomers with so much money in the bank account? Like what are they going to do in retirement? Like the the biggest iPad is only $1,900?10:56
Yeah, I mean, you could buy maybe like three or four caravans and like, strap them on top of each other, and get like a triple decker quadruple Decker situation going on. That'd be fun.11:06
Pete Lola on the chat has said it's Gina Reinhardt. Well, here's the thing Gina Reinhardt actually came out to news.com. Today, you and a representative said, No, it's not Gina Rinehart because Jenna Hannah is not stupid enough to lock up $544 million until she retires.11:23
This is a tiny Venn Diagram of people who haven't discovered offshore bank accounts want to keep their money in the Australian economy. So it's some kind of like Ozzie bat law, but at the peak of their career,11:35
you know, they say Jane about people who've got big nest eggs, and gotten complex shell companies that's11:44
the only person I can think of who is like rich have and would be so afraid of foreigners that he wouldn't trust his money in an offshore bank is the expense. Like I reckon that11:57
we should get him on the show. He's a friend of the show. I've got him I've got his number in my in my book. So12:05
if there's a human being there's an Australian whose number you don't have, they don't exist. Oregon, if you scroll you through your phone, you would eventually find that person with half a billion dollars in super like there is12:20
I should send everyone a text right away. And just tell us said it's an attack on middle Australia, middle Australia. Who could just give $3 million until they're 66 Just sitting there they're not gonna miss it. That 3 million don't miss that 3 million.12:39
I tried to think what I would do with $3 million dollars and I Googled what can you buy with $3 million. And the first article I got was from finance samurai or someone a blog like that. And it all it said was 3 million is the new 1 million and I felt so poor. I've never felt like aspirationally I'm not even picturing the right number anymore. Yeah.13:03
The old 1 million yet that's moving too fast. Do13:06
you know that scene from succession by the way, Greg gets offered like $10 million. And they all talk about how sad it is to have $10 million because it'skind of feeling millionaire.
13:20
Yeah. embarrassing to admit you've got over 3 million on your in your super account, I think embarrassingly small amount of money if you're not the 500 mil guy then who are you? That's crazy.13:34
Yeah, yeah, the phrase I'm a millionaire has really, truly jumped the shark hasn't it? as we as we the phrase jumped the shark.13:43
I did see an article because I think when it came out, like obviously, the message got out pretty quickly, that it was going to effect such as like small amount of the country that really no one apart from Angus Taylor perplexingly probably his brother who has a problem but he's probably got half a billion Giga litres of water in super.14:05
This is rational fear. Angus Taylor14:10
situation we had was some people were contributing millions of dollars into super and it's totally inappropriate. What to use,14:18
who you're listening to are very rational here.14:24
This week second fifth Gen Zed thanks buttons or violence. According to The Guardian Gen Zed are having trouble with physical office appliances like finding files folders, printers, copiers, fax machines, binders, basically anything with buttons is extremely difficult to work with. Jane, what's going on here? Do we need like a button pushing Bootcamp for Gen Zed before they're allowed to apply for actual jobs?14:47
Oh my god, I I'm a millennial. I will say I'm 32 but I just feel so bad for Gen Zed, because we've went destroying the planet. We've tanked the economy. They'll never buy a home and now we still expect them to use like The Canon 1996 printer in the Kindle office space, and we're getting upset at them for not knowing how to do that, like the poor little guys just like they shouldn't have to worry about that. And they just want to be left alone on tick tock with the apps that just feed all the information straight to their brain. And we're making them interact in like a sad as places in the world which like, I don't know, offices set up in the 80s and 90s. And no wonder they don't want to do it.15:29
It's like that Apple TV show severance. Every office is like that to them. There's a great quote quote in his article from a guy who runs workshops on intergenerational differences. He says, I joke in my sessions that my gen Zed intern didn't know how to mail a letter. He said, they asked me where the sticker went. And I said, Do you think stickers are just fine? When I15:54
work at a Triple J, there's a millennial and Gen Zed exclusive atmosphere. And like, I'm the second I think I'm the third probably, I'm in the top five oldest people that have ever worked there. People asked me about like 2015 And I'm like, man, it was crazy.16:16
You would say, man, it was cray cray. Yeah.16:21
They want to leave but they can't find the elevator button. So they have to listen to I think there's you know, you do read a lot of articles where every time there's like a boomer gender divide. The old people are like you don't know how hard it is when you when you get old. No one wants to hire you. And I think this is a great opportunity. Like I think we used to have elevator operators. And I think now if you turn 60, we give you the gold watch. And then you just become a guy who pushes the button on a photocopier. It keeps you employed gives you something to do. It gets Gerald out of the house, and it keeps Gen Zeds you know, are able to use Photo copiers, everyone wins.16:59
These are valuable skills in demand. Yeah.17:03
I've never worked anywhere as trendy as Triple J. Like we say I've worked places17:08
to say I love I love the way you said Triple J like yeah, like with as much denim as possible.17:15
You also said trendy which was incredible.17:19
I've aged out of the hottest 100 And I get to have feelings about that. Now that's17:27
such a millennial thing to say17:28
we have blocked your number and everyone like you.17:32
I'll see you on Double J in 10 years.17:37
The system is working17:40
at least what about you? What's your thoughts? I17:42
mean, I just I think we're being a bit too hard on these kids not knowing how to use this stuff like I am an elder millennial and I don't know how to use stuff that was used to do business in the generation before me I don't know how to use a quill or abacus or like cocaine i18:03
and that's fine pursues rational fear18:07
Annabelle is a typical teenager. And these days, that often means living with anxiety. Why it's so hard to turn on. There's no button,18:15
a rational fear.18:18
This week's third fear time on the moon we not only cover the most pressing topics on Earth in the show, but from time to time we cover Moon related disputes the moon is set to get its own timezone. That's right, it's moon time. People joke about flying to Adelaide, and they've got to turn your clock back 30 years but on the moon despite looking so much like Adelaide no one knows how far the wind back back looks. At least what is Moon time18:42
the European Space Agency has come out and said that they think that the moon needs a time zone. I'm all for it. You know, I would love to get up onto the moon be playing some you know Dance Dance Revolution. The dress Park game where you're in a jeep, the core machine timezone? No, that's okay.19:05
It took us a long19:07
night, they're looking to have like an official timezone for the moon so that you know, as it's getting busier, and you've got commercial organisations flying up there, that sort of thing for everyone to be sort of on the same track. So you don't have rockets going up there. And like doing the up who's to go do go? It's all clear everyone knows exactly where they're going. And it's a lot safer and happier for everyone. A whole series of problems with doing it because like yeah, gravity is an issue so clocks go faster on the moon and like depending on where abouts on the moon it is so your clocks are running all sorts of different times all over the shop. It sounds like an absolute nightmare to figure out.19:51
Surely the moon is going to be the right place for a sundial gravity is gold school like Let's find you know, a baby boomer who doesn't understand technology can explain a sundial younger generation or20:13
on the moon.20:16
I think actually, I tell you what my if I was in the European Space Agency, I'd be like, guys, I know you guys always told me I don't belong here, because I'm not a scientist and I don't understand anything. But I've got an idea. I think clocks should be banned. I think time should be banned on the moon. I think it'd be a no to so I think it should be like a chill zone where on the way, you have to put your watches or your phones in a little bag. Like you're going to see Dave Chappelle in case he says something transphobic put it in a rocket, and you have to leave it in the rocket and then the moon can be a place where we don't worry about time we can leave our troubles on Earth. Thank you.20:52
What time do we leave to go back to whenever you want man20:55
to move? You know what I mean? It's it's a common, it's21:00
a common, it's a common Well, she got21:05
to be five minutes. But I found a joke.21:08
Very good. Yes, moon days are about 29.5 Earth days long. That is a long day, a whole month on the moon. And clocks work at different speeds. Why two clocks? I want to know why clocks work at different speeds on the surface and in orbit. That is so strange.21:24
So it's yeah, it maybe physically Yeah, the pull of gravity on the21:29
hands of the clock. Yeah,21:31
wow. It's a great journey for like, for a brand to come in and start their own, you know, branded time, like you'd have like, Blue Moon beer time. That would be like even on Mars, you know, you could have Mars, Mars Bartok, that would be good.21:44
They tried to they tried to do this with Antarctica with like how Antarctic is like the shared continent, a little section of it. But now there's like 10 time zones all across Antarctica. But if you set up a base, countries will just set up a new base with a new research station and then decide we don't care what the timezone is where we are, we're gonna go by our home timezone. So there's all these erratic, non approved time zones throughout Antarctica as well. I feel like the moon's just gonna end up like that, like we're gonna have like China and Russia and America, we'll get there different times. And be like, we're on Russia in time and American Moon time. It's just gonna keep going.22:23
Can you can you imagine if the Australians get there like half the team would be on daylight savings time, it would be terrible. With Antarctica,22:31
how important is time What are you doing? You're meeting like the Russians across the border for coffee like what22:41
I feel like the one thing that the moon and and like everyone has to worry about is not having the scientists and the like the astronauts go crazy. I feel like the one thing that will guarantee an astronaut going crazy is saying an Earth Day is 29 moon days. That is crazy astronauts you're breeding up on the moon23:06
Thank you man with Dominic claw on the chat saying moonlight David savings time. Thank you for that. I23:10
appreciate it. I don't like the moon. It scares me. I don't like thinking about how can you not like the moon? I don't get it doesn't make sense. A rational seer.23:21
Stick with us. If you are a Patreon sponsor, you will hear an extra fear. We'll we'll be discussing about all things about Robo debt and Stewart Roberts particular eating habits and how they're related. But if you're not a Patreon supporter, you'll hear live read from our sponsor. And then we'll be chatting with Nicolette Bulla from the Smart Energy Council. Lewis just popping the podcast and hold here to talk about our incredible sponsor Australian ethical who do incidentally superannuation, which is the flavour of the week on this podcast. Do23:50
you think the person with half a billion dollars is investing with Australian ethical because that would put us in a pickle because then we kind of want them to keep it23:57
actually that's a really good point of view. Yeah, maybe maybe that person if they are with Australian ethical, they should definitely keep it because Australian ethical don't invest in things like fossil fuels. They don't invest in things like human trafficking, or weapons or pretty, you know, bad stuff. They invest ethically so that half a billion dollars, that would be that would be saving so much carbon if it was in some Bodhi else's Superfund that is so good, but that's with the straight ethical24:22
every time you say this to me, I am sure I'm like, which super funds are investing in human trafficking. And why haven't we stopped that? Well, they're 2023 You know what I mean? Like shouts to Australian ethical for putting up and going, Hey, by the way, we don't have human trafficking. But I must admit, I sort of assumed all super funds were pretty awful human trafficking.24:44
One Superfund does support a particular podcast that is irrational fear and that is the straight ethical thank you so much for your support straight ethical. Let's get back to the show. All right by July one this year. Labour government is going hammer and tongs trying to get in place a policy to help Australia meet its climate targets and something called the safeguard mechanism. It's something you could sounds like something you could buy in a sex shop doesn't it? It is designed to gently finger the greenhouse gas emitters without kind of rogering them entirely Joining us now to discuss the safeguard mechanism. Its longtime policy wonk and former candidate for Bradfield. Nicolette Bulla. Welcome Nicolette to rational fear.25:26
Thanks for having me. I'm have no idea how you're gonna make this very serious topic. Remotely funny.25:33
Oh, that's, that's good. That's what we do. If we fail, we're doing it. So it's totally fine. We're very comfortable25:37
being not funny. Otherwise, it's never I've kept going.25:42
Nikolay, tell us like the safeguard mechanism, like how does it meant to work? And will it work?25:48
With the name, we don't even know what it means. I mean, I know what it's safeguarding if it's the climate complete fail if it's the fossil fuel industry, maybe remotely better. At the Smart Energy Council, we call it the big polluters programme, which is basically a shortcut to explain what it is. This mechanism is it, it limits the emissions from the country's biggest industrial sites, big factories, so there's two of them, 15 of those, they're big, they're chunk out 100,000 tonnes of greenhouse gas emissions each year, it's about 28% of the nation's total kind of carbon budget. What's really keen to understand is they're kind of in two categories, there's half of them are these industrial processes that we can probably see, we can navigate towards a nice low carbon future things like fertilisers, steel, aluminium cement. And then there's the other half, which are basically fossil fuel operations. That's, that's coal and gas, where there really isn't any feasible technology that's going to take these guys to net zero, they just need to stop production. So what we've got is this mechanism, that's going to work for half of them and not the other half. There's three things being discussed at the moment around the mechanism, I suppose there's lots of them, but it's baselines is the first thing this is the contract about how much each of these factories can emit. In the old system. Those just weren't enforced at all people are allowed to increase their limits what's being offered now, Minister Boren suggesting that we'll have new baselines, and there'll be a kind of musical chairs thing out to 2050, a reduction of 4.9% each year. So that looks like it's, you know, going towards something like our Climate Change Act 43%, emission reductions, by 2030, and net zero by 2050. The second part is that big polluters don't actually have to reduce their emissions. Actually, they can buy offsets, we can talk about that in a minute. And the third thing is that really this sort of cap of the price that the government will pay for these at $75, these credits that have been created just are not set as sort of price that is going to create some structural adjustments for some of these industries. We're seeing much bigger prices in international markets.28:04
We've seen in committee hearings lately, a lot of questions about prices, particularly David pokok, who was kind of pressing the architects of the safeguard mechanism on the price, basically say, Well, if it goes above 75, who pays who pays for that, and the people who may have made this kind of programme have gone on, we haven't actually thought about, we haven't actually thought about what happens when the price goes over it already. There's a lot of fossil fuel companies who have who are pricing these carbon offsets, at at $80. And more, oh, who is going to pay for that? Who's gonna pay for that? Nicolet. And they're28:38
going to do it because of course, we don't just work in Australia, we're operating international market. So we have some companies at the moment who are doing what we call shadow pricing at $400 a time because we've seen some peaks and spikes in other markets that that kind of price. So yeah, if they're going to stay internationally competitive in terms of greenhouse emission reduction profiles, because we've got some places like the EU have got import tariffs now. So if we want to put out goods and services and sell them to places in the EU, we add an extra tariff on that because ours is heavier or more, you know, more polluting than theirs.29:11
Wow, that's so huge that that amount of money that's wild. I was watching an episode of Clarkson's farm last night, and they were getting 180 pounds, a tonne for wheat. Like we're talking about cob. We're talking about pollution here. That is tonne. That is heaps of money. tonnes of money doesn't make sense, but it's just so much money.29:29
There's a lot of money at the moment we made in coal and gas as well if you're exporting it overseas,29:34
if you'd like wood to pretend to be like a greenwashing expert, how much money is there to be made in selling offsets or Shitloads? Like what's the scam? Like do we need to go by?29:47
How do we get involved? is really the question.29:50
We got a podcast we've we've got a podcast if I'm Nicolette29:53
Yeah, well, okay. So you might I don't know if you heard that there's there was this thing called the chub review, which had a little look at the offset scream and how it's been going. There30:03
were just so I'm so sorry. Just because of the nature of this programme, we have to pump the brakes on Chubb review. Committee or when they were halfway done, what did they call it?30:16
The halfway Chester half chap review. It was the half chub review.30:20
Sorry, Nicola, I know you're very soon. I apologise. I'm sorry to everyone listening, we can continue with the job review.30:31
So the question is, like, how, how much money can you make? So I don't know if you want to get the spreadsheet up. But in this review, there are 165 projects. I mean, 24 point 5 million credits. Now, and this is mainly from what we call human induced regeneration, aka, planting more trees, putting some seeds in the ground, and maybe not. I mean, some of the people gave evidence and the inquiry said maybe the rain made the plants grow. So there wasn't necessarily additional. So if you want to, you know, this, this was some of the greenwashing claims come in. Now, just to be clear, the findings of the inquiry suggested that there was no overstatement in the creation of those credits. There are sort of big question marks around whether the climate understands the difference between, you know, not stopping burning coal and gas versus, you know, growing a few more plants on someone's property. Man, it's31:32
review revealed a problem that was growing and growing.31:37
Thank you, Louis. Can you tell us like I heard a rumour that Tony Abbott actually designed the safeguard mechanism. And surely, if Labour is getting behind some of that Tony Abbott designed to protect the environment. Surely, it'll do the opposite of what Tony Abbott is said it would do?31:52
Well, yeah. Well, I don't know if I'm bit old. I think actually remember that. Nick, Xenophon. And his team proposed some of the changes which then the coalition at the time adopted because they had this thing called the oh, goodness, can't remember it. Some sort of, oh, credit skate, no. Direct action. That's what it was.32:14
Yeah, yes. We all we all remember the green army, Nikolai, we were. It was people on the dole going out to plant trays, that'll save us.32:23
And it was the biggest ideological contortion that I have experienced, where we got rid of what was basically market based mechanisms of doing some emissions trading. And we took that away, and we use taxpayers money and granted that to big polluters to do nothing much at all. It was extraordinary. And so that's when Xenophon suggested perhaps we do some of these things. And you know, to the credit, I suppose, coalition said, oh, yeah, okay, let's do some baselines and get people to report those emissions. And then let's see whether we can get them to actually reduce their emissions. But of course, if you don't enforce something, probably doesn't get done.33:03
I love hearing in the commission, David Polka talk about Akyuz they're the they're the units of carbon offsets. Is that right? Yeah, they kind of they kind of sound like the new Bitcoin, like the way he was talking about it made me want to get in early on accute. I needed to buy, buy some Akyuz now, so in 10 years time when I'm underwater, I'll be able to buy myself a nice house on the hill.33:23
Yeah, now that the NFT market is crashing, is there room for maybe the carbon credit like to take its place if we can make the carbon credit schemes really, really trendy? We'd like 60 year olds?33:35
Yeah. Yeah, a series of carbon credits, but some of them are wearing fedoras. And some of them have really cool sunglasses on. Some of them have like little sailor,33:46
maybe dead ape, we could call it33:53
drowning. Nicolette Bill bola. Thank you so much for joining us on irrational fear to give us a little bit of clarity and leave us feeling more despondent than ever about the safeguard mechanism.34:06
Thanks for having me.34:08
That is it for irrational fear. Big thank you to all of our guests Nicolette Villa Jane Bell, Elise Phillips Louis harbour, what would you folks like to plug up Jane? Let's start with you.34:19
I've got a Melbourne Comedy Festival show starting on the 29th of March it buys a pack of three called slops it is about having multiple quarterlife crisis is all through your 20s and 30s. You can find it on the Coronavirus website or on my Instagram Jane Bell MP.34:36
Excellent lace. Yeah, I'm34:38
also bringing a show to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival I'm starting on March 27 at the butterfly club and it's called at least Phillips tends to be on tropical holiday for 50 minutes definitely not a scam. It does what it says on the tin34:54
I love it a great long name I'm big fan of long name Nicolette below what would you like to plug Do you have a show at the building? contest35:02
for possible by elections in the federal state of Bradfield, after the New South Wales election, I'll be running as community independent. I'm allowed to do that. I'll just have35:11
go for it. Yeah, yeah. We should point out that Nicolette almost almost got a seat last last time around. So this could be the Redux how excited you know, around the same time I was doing the billboard stuff, Paul, Paul Fletcher said on q&a said, what you can't do is you can't go around putting up billboards saying that Paul Fletcher is an idiot. And I thought well, that that is a great quote. That is a great quote to put on a billboard. Bradfield, which is an idiot by Paul Fletcher q&a On this date. So there's an idea for you. Oh, yes, John from radios wants to Sir remind everyone that our Adelaide show is 5pm This Saturday afternoon in the garden of unearthly delights. So for now tonight and you listen to this before before then please come along, get a ticket. We've got the Attorney General came mark from South Australia on the podcasts gonna be talking to him all about the voice Lewis. What would you like to look?36:07
Yes at the Adelaide show, Dan. We're also going to be in Melbourne on the second and April. So buy tickets to that. It's gonna be fun. It's a technically a hometown show for me. So I'm expecting rapturous applause, perhaps some sort of motorcade. I would accept fireworks. I would like Dan Andrews to be there and personally shake my hand and walk me back to the city of Melbourne. These are just some ideas. If you're listening from Melbourne, and you're wondering how you can welcome me back home.36:39
Yes, it's gonna be a great show. That is it for rational fear. Big thank you to rode mics, our sponsor, Australian, ethical. All of our wonderful, incredible Patreon supporters. We had a whole stack of people sign up this week. I'll shout out your names at the live show because it was so awesome. Or the amount of people that signed up Jacob round over Tepanyaki timeline. Until next time, there's always something to be scared of. Good night.Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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