Episodes
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In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, I interview my dear old friend, mother, and economics power house, Kristine Castagnaro.
To learn more about Kristine, please follow these links:
Kristine is the Chief Operating Officer at Western States Cancer Research
https://westernstatesncorp.org/
As an always early adapter, Kristine's successful blog called It's Mommy Juice was quickly picked up and syndicated.
http://itsmommyjuice.com/author/itsmommyjuice/
You can see the video she created to announce her breast cancer diagnosis.
Here is her LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristine-castagnaro/
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On this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, my guest Michelle M. Hughes shares details about her life as a single mother (by choice), her work as an adoption attorney, and what it was like to be raised by a Black dad and a white mom.
Michelle has been an important fixture in the U.S. adoption community for many years, advocating for biracial children, all members of the adoption triad, and women who elect to raise their children as single parents.
For more about Michelle, or to contact her please see her web page for Michelle M. Hughes, attorney at law.
https://www.mmhugheslaw.com/
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Missing episodes?
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In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, my special guest is artist, curator, mother and all around community powerhouse, Trisha Lagaso Goldberg.
Trisha Lagaso Goldberg is an artist and independent curator. Born and raised on the Hawaiian island of O‘ahu, Lagaso Goldberg spent 15 years in the Bay Area (1991-2005). As executive director of Southern Exposure, the acclaimed San Francisco Mission District artist-centered organization and gallery, she stewarded over one hundred exhibitions and events and worked with hundreds of artists from around the globe. In 2005, Lagaso Goldberg returned to Hawai‘i where she led the Hawai‘i State Foundation on Culture and the Arts’ commissioned works branch of its public art program. As the founding gallery director and curator of the Honolulu Chinatown art space thirtyninehotel, Lagaso Goldberg launched an artist residency program that invited artists from outside of the archipelago to create site-specific installations. Through this initiative, she commissioned works by artists such as Carolyn Castaño, Eamon Ore-Giron, Julio Morales, and Stephanie Syjuco. Her curatorial projects include Lands End (2021-2022), which featured the work of 27 international artists addressing climate crisis at the historic Cliff House in San Francisco and the 2022 Carlos Villa: Worlds in Collision retrospective exhibition, presented at the Newark Museum of Art (Newark, NJ), San Francisco Arts Commission Main Gallery and Asian Art Museum, San Francisco. She currently lives and works in San Francisco and on the island of O'ahu.
More about Trisha's incredible child, Primo Lagaso Goldberg
https://www.linkedin.com/in/primolagasogoldberg/
https://vimeo.com/496294687
https://californiayouthmedia.org/stories/2022/5/14/ww3wgv4lhjco6nk3a2dku07hjp115i
David Goldberg Bio
Dr. David A.M. Goldberg is a San Francisco based critical technologist who came of age in the era of the Commodore 64 and the birth of Hip Hop. Raised by musicians, artists, and teachers, he thinks, writes, and designs in pursuit of progressive goals in a world that doesn’t always follow progressive rules. As a lead product designer for Disney Streaming’s Inclusive Design team he works to create innovative customer-centric products, using an approach grounded in the ethical use of metadata, algorithmic transparency, and attending to the authentic experiences and desires of underrepresented folks. He holds degrees in computer systems engineering (Howard University), visual criticism (California College of the Arts), and a PhD in American Studies (University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa).
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On this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent podcast, my special guest, Dr. Crystal Kwok shares her working mother of three insights about the job she loves the most. Dr. Kwok started her career as a film actor in Hong Kong where she appeared in many action and romance movies including one with Jackie Chan. She later moved into directing and then academia as her passion for social justice, and feminist studies grew.
Dr. Kwok is the mother of three college aged children, and comes from a large and close-knit family and is happily married to her partner of many years.
Dr. Kwok's award-winning film, Blurring The Color Line, is available on PBS
https://www.pbs.org/video/america-reframed-blurring-the-color-line--trailer/#:~:text=%2D%20%5BNATASHA%5D%20Blurring%20the%20Color,and%20in%20the%20PBS%20app.
Blurring the Color Line, website:
https://www.blurringthecolorline.com/
Crystal's IMDB:
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0477215/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2UM0SkA6AQ
http://www.filmfatales.org/directors/crystalkwok
Mushrooms!
Entangled Life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Minds & Shape Our Futures
By: Merlin Sheldrake
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/52668915
and
The Mushroom at the End of the World: On the Possibility of Life in Capitalist Ruins
By: Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25510906-the-mushroom-at-the-end-of-the-world?ref=nav_sb_ss_1_20
Dr. Kwok Bio:
Crystal Kwok is an award-winning filmmaker with experience both in front of and behind the camera. Establishing her career in Hong Kong as an Actress, Kwok also has several writer, producer, and director credits to her name. Crystal Kwok’s debut feature film, The Mistress, won the Audience Choice Award at the Deauville Asiatic Film Festival in 2000. As a strong women’s advocate, her talk show, “Kwoktalk” broke boundaries in the Hong Kong media with conversations about women and sexuality. Continuing efforts to create visibility in addressing women's issues, Crystal currently hosts a talk show on KTUH 90.1 FM in Honolulu, Hawaii, where she is also pursuing her Ph.D. in Performance Studies. Crystal also teaches courses in film and the media under the Womenʻs Studies Department and serves as an active member of the University of Hawaii’s Commission on Racism and
Bias.
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In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent podcast, my special guest is Howard Garval, MSW. Howard is the founder of Leaders 4 Futures, and the former President and CEO of Child & Family Service, in Honolulu. Howard is an experienced social worker and parent trainer, as well as a long-time advocate for under-served and marginalized children and families.
Howard started his career as a Spanish teacher, before realizing his true calling was in social work. After a good many years working in lower SES neighborhoods in Detroit, Cleveland, Boston, and Hartford, Howard moved into advocacy and administration. There Howard was able to lead larger organizations into the change areas he felt most impactful for the children and families in need.
Today Howard is enjoying semi-retirement, spending time with his grandchildren and working on his memoirs.
You can find Howard here:
Article about Howard's retirement from CFS
https://www.childandfamilyservice.org/newsletter/2017_v1/garvalretire/
Article written by Howard about the role of non profits
https://www.civilbeat.org/2016/04/improving-lives-the-shared-commitment-of-nonprofits/
Contact Howard here:
https://www.neconsultant.org/members/profile/view/562
An interview with Howard on ThinkTech Hawaii:
https://thinktechhawaii.com/strengthening-families-with-howard-garval/
Howard's Linked In
https://www.linkedin.com/in/howard-garval-05b1b118/
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In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, I interview my baby brother, Hans Altwies.
To learn more about Hans and to read his incredible thoughts on parenting, memory, life, love and loss, please go to:
Hans the Father:
https://hansaltwies.substack.com/
Hans' essays during Stella's cancer treatments:
https://www.caringbridge.org/public/stellaaltwies
Hans and Stella on their annual slip and slide ride:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiuFPA8ZTg0
Hans the Actor:
(This is a personal favorite - Kristine) https://seattlemag.com/last-chance-see-iliad-rep/
https://www.seattleshakespeare.org/amy-thone-and-hans-altwies-featured-on-art-zone/
Hans the Builder:
https://lcmbuildersseattle.com/
A song featuring Stella:
https://josebold.bandcamp.com/track/lullaby-feat-stella-altwies
Here is what ChatGBT does with the episode transcript:
Parenting with Love and Loss: A Journey of Attachment and Resilience
Introduction:
Welcome to the Really Good Enough Parent Podcast, where we explore the joys and challenges of raising children. In today's episode, Kristine talks with her special guest who experienced the profound pain of loss while navigating the beautiful complexities of parenting. Hans Altwies, a loving father and a remarkable human being, joins his sister ARGEP host, Kristine Altwies, us to share his insights and experiences. Two years ago, Hans lost his 14 year old daughter, Stella, to cancer. Despite the heartbreak, he continues to embrace the role of a parent with unwavering love and dedication. In this episode, we delve into his parenting journey, particularly focusing on attachment parenting, and the profound impact it had on his relationship with his children.
The Power of Attachment Parenting:
Hans's parenting journey was characterized by a deep commitment to attachment parenting—a philosophy centered around fostering strong emotional bonds between parents and children. Hans and his ex-wife Amy, created an environment where their children felt safe, loved, and deeply connected. Attachment parenting, for them, meant incorporating their children into their lives rather than separating their worlds. They prioritized their children's needs, organizing their schedules and activities with the family unit in mind. The joy and fulfillment Hans found in parenting were palpable, and it influenced those around him to embrace the same spirit of enjoyment and connection.
Navigating the Challenges:
While attachment parenting brought immense joy, Hans acknowledges that it also presented challenges. Sleep deprivation, for instance, was a real struggle at times, particularly during the early years. But the exhaustion and occasional frustrations were overshadowed by the profound love and closeness they experienced as a family. Hans candidly shares moments of frustration, yet, he emphasizes that these challenges were part of the journey and did not detract from the overall beauty of attachment parenting.
A Village of Support:
Hans recognizes that parenting is not meant to be done alone. He notes that he and his ex-wife built a community of support by inviting friends and loved ones to be a part of their parenting journey. From close friends living with them to the involvement of their extended family, Hans and Amy created a village that nurtured their children and provided a sense of belonging. This sense of community extended beyond their home, as they actively engaged with their children's educational environments, becoming active participants in their development.
The Legacy of Stella:
Stella remains a constant presence in Hans's thoughts and reflections. Hans observes the milestones and achievements of Stella's peers, reminding him of the profound loss he and his family experienced. Despite the heartache, he finds solace in the enduring love and connection they shared. Stella's vibrant spirit and zest for life, described as a "wild party waiting to happen," continue to inspire Hans as he cherishes the memories and strives to honor her legacy.
Conclusion:
Hans Peter Altwies' parenting journey is a testament to the power of love, resilience, and attachment. Through the principles of attachment parenting, he created an environment wherein Stella and Charlotte felt cherished and supported. Despite the challenges and heartbreak, the bond between Hans and both his daughters, remains unbreakable. Hans's story reminds us of the importance of embracing the joy of parenting, building a community of support, and cherishing every precious moment with our children. Let us carry forward the lessons learned from Hans's experiences as we navigate our own parenting journeys, striving to become really good enough parents for our children.
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In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, father Dale Moss talks about raising his son, Isaiah, after discovering his son was autistic at age four. A former college football player, Dale initially approached his son's condition with the purposeful work of an athlete. After discovering unimagined success on the football field, Dale and his brother, music LA-based producer Billy Moss, decided to produce one of Isaiah's songs. Isaiah Moss' first record, I'm Out The Box became an instant hit leading to a second song, a website, I'm Out The Box merch, and talking tours to advocate for more positive attention for autism.
To follow or learn more about Isaiah Moss, please follow him on social media and listen to his inspirational rap hit.
Isaiah Moss:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTQ6kRwEIVQ
https://www.tiktok.com/@imoutthebox1/video/7128858725074505006?lang=hi-IN
https://www.tiktok.com/@imoutthebox1/video/7111059057837985070
https://www.tiktok.com/@imoutthebox1
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In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent podcast, my special guest Amanda Quick shares her harrowing and heroic story of living with, fighting for, and eventually understanding and escaping her sex trafficking husband.
Amanda's book, The Sex Trafficker's Wife: A Story of Truth, Faith and Trust in Self
https://www.thesextraffickerswife.com/
https://www.tiktok.com/@thesextraffickerswife
For more information about human trafficking go to this website:
https://humantraffickinghotline.org/en/human-trafficking/recognizing-signs
About human trafficking:
Who is Most Vulnerable?Anyone can experience trafficking in any community, just as anyone can be the victim of any kind of crime. While it can happen to anyone, evidence suggests that people of color and LGBTQ+ people are more likely to experience trafficking than other demographic groups. Generational trauma, historic oppression, discrimination, and other societal factors and inequities create community-wide vulnerabilities. Traffickers recognize and take advantage of people who are vulnerable.
People may be vulnerable to trafficking if they:
Have an unstable living situationHave previously experienced other forms of violence such as sexual abuse or domestic violenceHave run away or are involved in the juvenile justice or child welfare systemAre undocumented immigrantsAre facing poverty or economic needHave a caregiver or family member who has a substance use issueAre addicted to drugs or alcoholWho Are the TraffickersThere is no evidence that traffickers are more likely to be of a particular race, nationality, gender, or sexual orientation. They may be family members, romantic partners, acquaintances, or strangers.
How Traffickers Lure People InStories become weapons in the hands of human traffickers — tales of romantic love everlasting or about good jobs and fair wages just over the horizon. Sometimes, the stories themselves raise red flags. Other times, traffickers or potential traffickers may raise red flags during recruitment.
Here are a few situations that might raise concerns:
A would-be employer refuses to give workers a signed contract or asks them to sign a contract in a language they can’t read.A would-be employer collects fees from a potential worker for the “opportunity” to work in a particular job.A friend, family member, co-worker, or student is newly showered with gifts or money or otherwise becomes involved in an overwhelming, fast-moving, and asymmetric (e.g., large difference in age or financial status) romantic relationship.A friend, family member, or student is a frequent runaway and may be staying with someone who is not their parent or guardian.A family member, friend, co-worker, or student is developing a relationship that seems too close with someone they know solely on social media.A family member, friend, or student lives with a parent or guardian and shows signs of abuse.A family member, friend, or co-worker is offered a job opportunity that seems too good to be true.A family member, friend, or co-worker is recruited for an opportunity that requires them to move far away, but their recruiter or prospective employer avoids answering their questions or is reluctant to provide detailed information about the job. -
In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, Dr. Ann Yabusaki shares deeply personal insights into her experiences both professional and personal. Following a happy childhood in Hawai'i, she determined to learn about the impact of racism and moved to the U.S. mainland in this pursuit. Dr. Yabusaki is honest about the role of racism both in her own life and in the lives of her children. She has two children, one adopted from South Korea, and one to whom she gave birth. Both are now grown.
Ann Yabusaki, PhD, is a family therapist and psychologist. She is the founded of the Hawaii Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) Action Group and is the former Dean and President of the Rosebridge Graduate School of Integrative Psychology. Ann lives in Hawaii with her husband, Ken.
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Hawaii - https://fasdhawaii.org/
Letters from A Tiger Mom
https://www.amazon.com/Letters-Tiger-Mom-Reflections-Strong-Willed/dp/B0C2RRQF44
More on the American internment (imprisonment) of Japanese Americans during WWII can be found here.
"Virtually all Japanese Americans were forced to leave their homes and property and live in camps for most of the war. The government cited national security as justification for this policy although it violated many of the most essential constitutional rights of Japanese Americans."
https://www.nationalww2museum.org/war/articles/japanese-american-incarceration#:~:text=Virtually%20all%20Japanese%20Americans%20were,constitutional%20rights%20of%20Japanese%20Americans.
Or this:
Highly recommend watching this short piece on Stanley Hiyami, a soldier/artist/prisoner
https://www.janm.org/exhibits/a-life-in-pieces/video
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In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, former athlete, teacher and school principal, Ernie McCray, shares insights into how he raised his children using love and trust as the leading philosophy. Ernie remains actively involved in the lives of his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and even great, great grandchildren.
For more on Ernie McCray, please follow these links.
To read Ernie's poems, please go to the OB Rag newspaper, (Ocean Beach)
https://obrag.org/category/columns/
https://tucson.com/sports/arizonawildcats/basketball/ernie-mccray-arizonas-record-holder-for-points-in-a-game-talks-ring-of-honor-induction/video_d11abec2-b0f4-5f46-8313-b052960bb738.html
https://sandiegofreepress.org/2014/04/ernie-mccray-speaking-straight-from-the-heart/
Songs mentioned in this episode:
Your Feet's Too Big - Fats Waller
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nG3rgcU6CqI
I Dream of Jeannie with the Light Brown Hair - Bing Crosby
https://youtu.be/A5Am0AU4wfo
Caldonia - Louis Jordan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5TZcgzirMI
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Barbara Mullen is a force of nature. At 90 years old she still mentors and supervises a gaggle of Hawai'i-based mental health professionals, sees clients in her private practice, follows her favorite NFL teams religiously, and knows everything about every current socio-political trend.
In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, Barbara shares details about her life growing up as the only child of a martini-drinking single mom; her classic VW bus trip as a single mom across the country with four children to her new life as a full time hippy in Humbolt County, CA; and her reasons for becoming a therapist.
Barbara's perspectives on raising children are straight forward, rooted in personal experience, academic awareness, and good old trial and error.
Books mentioned in this episode:
The Medium is the Massage
By: Marshall Macluhan, Quentin Fiore
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/25955
https://www.thriftbooks.com/a/marshall-mcluhan/203190/
Birth Without Violence
by Frédérick Leboyer
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/1132105
Songs: I Did it My Way - Frank Sinatra
ARGEP standard plug:
Seek out those who are trying to make the world a better place.
The good folks at Thrift Books (www.thriftbooks.com) sell decommissioned library and other used books at reasonable prices with fast shipping.
Independent Book Sellers make the world a better place.
In Honolulu try Da Spot in Kaimuki
https://dashophnl.com/
or in Ellensburg, WA, go visit Pearl Street Books and Gifts.
https://www.pearlstreetbookstore.com/
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Scott Rogers shares tips and thoughts on how he and his wife, fellow actor/director Jeanne Rogers, parented their two creative children with a focus on love and imagination. In this episode of A Really Good Enough Parent, you will learn how to raise a child with minimal screen time; the benefits of trusting your child; and why boredom can be a great thing.
Scott continues to teach live acting classes weekly in Honolulu as well as Portland.
To learn more about Scott, please visit his website https://scottrogersstudios.com/
Jeanne Rogers, Scott's wife, is an actor and can be found on IMDB at https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0221973/
Scott's brother, Steven Rogers is a screen writer who wrote I, Tonya, and other films. https://www.indiewire.com/awards/industry/i-tonya-steven-rogers-screenwriter-hope-floats-stepmom-1201904563/
Look for the upcoming film based on the three Rogers' boys childhood, coming later this year.
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0737216/
Scott's daughter, Kanani Rogers
https://www.naniroseportraits.com/
Scott's son, Blade Rogers https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1833436/
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Deb Margolin is an actor, writer, artist, and mother who loves her two children so much it is palpable through her words. In this episode, you'll hear Deb talk about the joys and challenges of being a full time parent and creative person. Deb shares insights into her method of getting to know the incredible humans she was lucky enough to birth and raise.
Deb currently teaches in the English and Theatre Departments at Yale University, while continually working on new plays, essays, and collaborative endeavors.
https://www.debmargolin.com/
https://theaterstudies.yale.edu/people/deborah-margolin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYh4wg79NWc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEl4hyU9OYU
https://www.backstage.com/magazine/article/deb-margolin-wins-kesselring-26376/
Deb's daughter, Molly:
Molly Kirschner YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-bjo2-Ml2sQYEcq1kcU91Q
Deb's son, Bennett:
Bennett Kirschner
https://www.instagram.com/bennett_here/?hl=en
https://bennettkirschner.net/
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New York City-based actor, husband, father, Timur Kocak shares his thoughts on raising happy children without heavy-handed discipline and the importance of making your own bread.
Timur's acting career on IMDb
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0462233/
Reminder: No paraffin candles!
Eat real food (if you can).
Podcasts referenced in this episode:
Podcast for kids:
Grim, Grimmer, Grimmest
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grimm-grimmer-grimmest/id1436651521
Podcast Timur and his wife love:
If Books Could Kill -
Michael Hobbes and Peter Shamshiri
https://open.spotify.com/show/2khJBoF73ujIATWUFtSxLD
Book series for young adults (came out before the HBO series):
His Dark Materials - by Philip Pullman
https://www.goodreads.com/series/44427-his-dark-materials
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In this special Mother's Day edition of ARGEP, Kristine interviews her mother, Frances Altwies. Frances is an artist, and a long time Waldorf School teacher.
Author Anthony Mara
https://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/30/books/anthony-marra-on-a-constellation-of-vital-phenomena.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Marra
If you are going to buy a book, I recommend Thrift Books for on-line sales, or any local independent bookseller, such as Pearl Street Book Store in Ellensburg, WA
www.pearlstreetbookstore.com
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In the inaugural episode of A Really Good Enough Parent podcast, host Kristine Altwies talks with her father, lifelong Waldorf teacher, Gerald Altwies. Enjoy stories of a simple childhood and how lessons from that period of his life, influenced Mr. Altwies on his journey to become a teacher and parent.
Fore more information on the Detroit Waldorf School please visit:
https://www.detroitwaldorf.org/
or about Waldorf in general:
https://youtu.be/wfec6eF4I_4
https://www.waldorfeducation.org/waldorf-education
And if you wish to visit Detroit, we highly encourage that!
https://dia.org/ - Our favorite Detroit Institution - the Detroit Institute of Arts
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Jo Seager is a licensed Montessori teacher, born and raised in England. Ms. Seager raised her two children in Germany, England and France and supported them in pursuing higher education in Holland. Ms. Seager's upbeat, optimistic attitude about raising children grew somewhat out of response to her own strict upbringing in a British boarding school.
In this episode Ms. Seager shares insights about what makes children "misbehave" and how to walk the line between being your child's friend and parent.
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Psychologist and mother, Dr. Laura Anderson, shares insights into her own journey as a mother, her ideas on why it's important to be aware of a child's ability to repair, be resilient and to regulate as needed.
More information about Dr. Laura Anderson and her work with gender expansiveness, race and culture in the lives of children can be found at:
https://www.drlauraanderson.com/
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Svenja Buentjen was born and raised in Germany, the daughter of a hippy father and a more conservative mother. She received her Waldorf training in England and taught in Waldorf schools in Germany, the United States, England. She has conducted child out reach and support programs in under served communities in India, Congo, Nicaragua, Spain, Panama, and Costa Rico. She is the founder of the Katu Waldorf School in San Jose, Costa Rica. She is the proud mother of two wonderful young adults who currently live in Berlin and Barcelona.
https://katuwaldorf.com/
