Episodes
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âThere's no reason sound can't be appreciated wherever you're at. It's always there. We think something has to be dramatic or highly structured, but there's always structures to find in our minds. We have that freedom in our own being to be able to see with what's there, with what's here, with what's happening.â - Robert Holliday
Robert explores the intersection of experimental music and zazen from Buddha to John Cage, in a fascinating real time experiment in music, mind, and sound. Whatâs the difference between music and being, composition and compassion? Where is the mind? What is the mind? What masterpieces have been waiting right here and now for us to find? Find out here!
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âCan we keep the goofy light heartedness of being rebel antagonists, along side the sincerity of really caring? Can we care and be funny at the same time? And you know what I've seen us do? Exactly that. And that delights me. Thank you everybody.â - Dave Cuomo
Dave gives us his âSee Yâall Soonâ address before hungry ghosting us for the Spring with a look at some favorite poetry about learning to see the nuances and subtleties and what it means to be self fulfilled. Are we enough for ourselves? Can we light up the world without ever shining? Are American Buddhists too conflict averse? Or is Zen too amoral and heavily meditated to concern itself? Find out here!
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Missing episodes?
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âFirst, there's âthe thing that I want to do.â They strip that away completely. Then when weâre hollow and empty they come back and ask, âSo now, what do you really, really want?ââ - Gyokei Yokoyama
Gyokei pulls back the curtain on the rituals and forms of Zen, the true koan of the Soto School, to find out if there's any meaning in the method or maybe even some practical value to our venerations. Who are we doing these rituals for anyway? Why donât they want us to be good at our jobs? How do we move like a hummingbird and when should we move like a rhino? Find out here!!
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âIn order to learn something new, first you have to be confused about it. If you aren't confused about it, you already know what it is and then you're not learning anything.â - Jitsujo Gauthier
Great sangha friend Jitusjo brings us hard won personal tips and tricks for navigating the confusion and fear of the inner world, and the discomfort we might find when we honestly shine the light inward. How can we read a room by listening to ourselves? Are we lonely, or is that just what the loneliness wants us to think? How do we let down our guard and be vulnerable when there are real things out there to guard against?? Find out here!
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âWhatever goals you accomplish, you're still the same. There's still that same emptiness - there's still something missing. There's always going to be something missing. And that's okay.â - Pedro Peres
Long time sangha friend Pedro Peres regales us with the story of what heâs doing and why heâs here - from early forays into beating koans at their own game, to communities built around the beauty of emptiness, and chasing that certain something missing that just might be the real liberation we were looking for all along. Why do we avoid the cushion when we know damn well how well it works? Are we better off without an answer to life, the universe, and everything? Do we need more zazen or do we need more sleep?? Find out here!!
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âThink for yourselves. Be unruly. Challenge what we tell you, Challenge what I think I know about how this place should work. Thatâs what all the old teachings tell us to do - even if it is kind of inconvenient to have a room full of people thinking for themselves when youâre trying to run a Zen Center.â - Dave Cuomo
In the final installment of his paramita series, Dave unravels the subtle mysteries of prajna, aka perfect wisdom, aka the great unknowable truth thatâs supposedly the only truth you need to know. What is the ultimate truth in Zen, can we get access to it, and will it help us if we do?? Find out here!!
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âYou can't sit motionless for 30 minutes without learning something, and when that happens day after day, we learn and we learn. Like it or not, we learn.â - Heather Ross
Heather opens up the Pandoraâs Box of zazen and takes a hard and healing look at the hidden aspects of ourselves that inevitably unhide themselves through regular sitting. How do we cope when we start to see through our own coping mechanisms? What do we do in the messy middle when we start seeing our mistakes all too clearly, but before weâve learned how not to make them? How are we supposed take personal responsibility for the faults of others without making it all about us??
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âLiberation means being liberated from the inclination to ignore our flaws - to dismiss them, hide them, divert or disguise them.â - Gyokei Yokoyama
Gyokei unravels the deeper meaning of Dharma Combat on the eve of ACZCâs first ever attempt at such a ceremony. What qualifies someone to be a Zen teacher? Is a vow to liberate all beings actually good for us? Is it as arrogant as it sounds?? And at what point does healthy humility turn into les healthy self depreciation?? Find out here!
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âThere's a freedom, a pit, a dropping off into something you don't know and don't necessarily trust⊠It takes a strange kind of trust to let go of everything youâve known as you.â - Dave Cuomo
Dave celebrates the year of the wood dragon with evocative writings on dragons, frogs, and earthworms singing through the hollow trees of you and me. What can we hold onto when everything falls away? Whatâs the voice that speaks through you when you find nothing to say? Whoâs the little person deep inside stoking the flames of our anxiety, and can we talk them into taking a well earned break? Can we find a word in English that means grief and liberation at the same time?? Letâs find out.
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âThere's some discomfort there, and there's some comfort there. And when you let that go⊠it's quite a revolution.â - Gyokei Yokoyama
Gyokei gives us fully fleshed out, bare bones official Soto Zen explanations and instructions for zazen - body, breath, and mind. How does it work? How much should it hurt? Are Westerners doing it right? Is Japan doing it right?? Is Gyokei doing it enough? And did the monastery permanently screw up his zazen?? Find out here!
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âProbably the best we can train for is to get a seat at the table where our decisions are made; which is not where we're usually hanging out. Usually weâre hanging out after the fact writing propaganda to justify what we just did.â - Dave Cuomo
In the penultimate episode to our paramita series, Dave takes on the big one for Zen - meditation (aka Zen). We all know itâs what we do, but maybe itâs time to peel back the curtain on all Zenâs cagey double speak and reveal the method behind the madness. How did we arrive at the somewhat sly ironic style that we (donât so much) teach here? What was it traditionally supposed to accomplish, how was it supposed to work, and are we still accomplishing that here? Can we really learn contentment and does that actually lead to wisdom? Will we get the five magical powers and will we want them if we do?? Find out here!
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âThere ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answerâ - Gertrude Stein
Patrick brings us the timeless tale of a Catholic kid trading his faith for the freedom of not quite knowing what the h*ll heâs doing. Along the way we get 30 years worth of ironic wisdom bombs, gleaned from a myriad of likable and unlikely teachers met across decades of practice. Can we lose our religion while still keeping the faith? How do we live up to being our own teacher, while not turning Zen into a self stunted choose your own adventure? After all these years of not living up to our name, has our So Cal Zen center finally given us a perfectly poetic surfing/zazen analogy? Find out here!!
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âIt includes everything, no matter what. Even being depressed is part of it. That's why I donât backslide like I used to anymore; because even if I do, I now know for certain that has weight and that's important too.â - Dave Cuomo
Dave takes an honest look at energy, the much lauded and lamented fourth paramita, along with all the reasons such things might often feel out of reach. Is Buddhism trying to flatten us out or is there room for passion in our practice? How are we expected to lift ourselves up when all we feel is down? Do we need to have purpose to practice, and if so, where in all that goaless emptiness have they been hiding it?? Find out here!!
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âItâs less, yes it must be this way, and more, let's go this way together.â - Sara Campbell
Sara reflects on the holidays and turns the page on a new year with a simple but endless question, how do we live when we know weâre going to die? Also, what to do when you suddenly realize youâve gone from wacky aunt to wacky family matriarch without even having applied for the promotion. Are hidden dark forces out there controlling the world, and if so, what are they to us? Is Buddhism a nihilistic philosophy? Is Sara a closet nihilist?? Find out here!
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âAll the philosophies I grew up on were always trying to take me toward the light - be a good person, know what's going on, know how to handle things⊠It was always about happiness and positivity. Thats what led me here. That was the problem.â - Dave Cuomo
Dave rings in the New Year with an unflinching dive into darkness - what it means in Zen, why itâs nothing to be scared of, and why the light isnât always as illuminating as weâve been led to believe; including a bonus cameo from everyoneâs favorite angry farmer poet, Wendell Berry, plus a fresh original translation of the Zazenshin (the point of zazen). Are we content with half truths or are we ready for the dark ones? Have we been lied to about the Point of Zazen? Can we procrastinate our way into productivity?? Find out here!
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âMaybe we donât need take everything as gospel, or maybe taking things as gospel doesnât always mean what we want it to meanâ - Dave Cuomo
Dave brings us a special podcast exclusive Holiday Story Time, with a dramatic reading of a somewhat bananas Buddhist folktale about a young king and his flying elephant trying to get good at giving. Itâs a story for the season about the spirit of generosity and the awkward joys of family. Can we be too supportive of our kids? Is there such a thing as being too generous? Should we trust our parents? And speaking of which, how much should we trust Buddhism?? Find out here!
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âA person with cloudy eyes is a person of fundamental enlightenment, a person of subtle enlightenment.â - Dogen
Jason dives into Dogenâs treatise on the flowery delights of delusion - âSpace Flowers,â while discussing the inspiration behind his recent benefit print for ACZC. Along the way we get a bonus peek behind the creative curtain and a constellation of poetic ponderings on the nature of what we see and whether or not we can accurately call that reality. Can we stop seeing delusions? Should we? And if not, what should we do with them? And will we ever wise up enough to be satisfied with unsatisfying Zen answers? Find out here!
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âIf youâre not at least a little uncomfortable, you probably havenât found whatever it is you really need to make peace with yet.â - Dave Cuomo
Dave dives back into the paramitas to learn about patience and finds out that Buddha apparently agrees with Sartre, hell is other people. Along the way we get some personal stories about the time Dave funded his monastic career by accidentally beating capitalism at its own game and learned to like other people by losing faith in himself. Should we blame society for the worldâs ills, or ourselves? How are we supposed to accept circumstances that are unacceptable? Is the rational math of economics really just an exercise in wishful thinking?? Find out here!
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âThe spring has no particular shape, and yet spring manifests naturally. Or like the moon, it just emerges, versatile and free. When something happens, nobody can really say who did it. That's why we get frustrated. Nobody can know how it happened because everybody contributed.â - Gyokei Yokoyama
In our final retreat wrap up, Gyokei gives us an on the spot translation of a Komazawa University hot take on Ungan and Dogoâs famous exchange about how exactly the Great Compassionate Mind might be working, along with juicy stories and hard won wisdoms Gyokeiâs picked up along the way. Can we avoid being compassionate even if we wanted to? Are we always doing what we want whether we want to or not? Who do Buddhists pray to, and is it working? And why do some people turn out better or worse than others, and could Soto Shu use a little more education in that department?? Find out here!
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"The more you start to learn about what you are, which is absolutely completely interdependent and just a fractal of what everyone else is, the more it starts to break down.
I can't hate myself. It just doesn't make sense.â - Sara Campbell
Following up on our retreat theme of compassion and the five skandas, Sara gives us a raw and revealing look at self compassion. Plus, she gives us the naked truth of what it was like to be Zen Center caretaker over the summer. What techniques and theories does Zen offer for cultivating self compassion and is there more to zen than zazen? Where does love and appreciation go when it canât find its way back home? And how do we find time for self care when the problem is weâre stretched too thin in the first place?? Find out here!
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