Episodes
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Crisp, behind and ahead, the exact right place, and obsolete. Allowing yourself to be carried, amplify yourself, pure pure pure you, and we need it. Markers, arm’s length, whole, comparison games, mental gymnastics, and be and feel.
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Treadmill adventure, down the hallway, and tackling this myself. Every possible thing out of the way, next step to solve this problem, and attached. Trigonometry, spacial awareness, Tinder, and wondering if words and phrases are real. A whole thing, a giant giant paperweight, and more investigation required. Stubbed toes and fall-ness.
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Missing episodes?
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Finishing the Haunting of Hill House. A reminder of art and connection and emotion. Understanding each other and forgetting the things we enjoy. Speaks to us, nail on the head, and the click. On top of the world and remembering the why.
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Thoughts on trajectory, expectations versus reality, and an incline. Boring, losing yourself and finding yourself a million times over, and The Plan. Unanticipatable, the character arc is all over the map, and unexpected events. Shattering, acute joy, the drama, and the power we think we should have. A bottle of coke, riding the waves, and some kind of hope. Stapling a life into place, imaginative, and surrender to having a plan and also being flexible. Topsy turvy.
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Purple speckled orchid, two pieces of bread, thunderstorms, and puddling. Leaking, perfectly secure, and how many times can I say trial and erroring. Losing focus, not a good story, long enough, and that’s how they getcha. Caption bonus: I’m proud because I made a gif today and also a video of baby jellyfish gave me joy so I encourage you to check that out.
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Anxious attention span of a flea, a real toss up, three times, and instantaneous abs. One of my genie wishes, perfect messy buns, momentous “r” rolling, and too much pressure.
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Adult size animal bath towel, ice cream in my veins, too loud in my head, and turning the volume down.
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Question the doubt, quantifying knowledge, and standardized tests. Wisdom, deeply rooted, try trusting, and mysticism. Valuable creativity, imagination, rain, and more than logic. Wildness, the universe, food coloring, and play more.
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Laundry basket, coworker conversation, best of luck to you, and a lack of interest. Some people won’t get it, fan club, and approval. Quantifying success, rollercoaster, ruled by others, and those people are out there. Likes and dislikes and you allot the weight it carries.
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TV that absorbed my brain until the early morning hours. Coming to an end, too high of a bar, the choice to leave, and piling up. All or nothing thought trap, consistency, life maintenance, and not to be underrated. Grace, notice, and it can see itself out.
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Anonymity, juicy, consequences, and connected to your purpose. So so so many reasons, too complex, glad you started, and drilling deeper. Everything you have, your place in all of this madness, you get to, and you will.
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Recreated, already said it, heartburn, and all that jazz. Reinforce, remind, and recognize. Cat snores, superior floor patch, and worse for wear. Holding your sanity together and take note.
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Stuffy. Presentable, a million things all wrapped into one, middle of the night moment, and I don’t know why it’s a bean. Hangover of major destabilization, lead in my veins, and raggedy. Procession of events, cue tears, and a workout ish. It’s hard in the middle, construction zone, raw, and cringey.
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“Comfortable with Uncertainty” by Pema Chödrön. Resolution, whatever arises, and ambiguity. Staying open, fruition, not good enough, and oriented to the present. Unconditional.
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Giggling, creatures, and betrayal. Acknowledgment, the ashes left behind, and shaky at best. Treacherous, how how how, and hollow. Not about fixing, reorienting, north star, and different every time.
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Hiding. Weight, shine too bright, won’t match, and autopilot. Pause moments, full extent, call ourselves out, and how I breathe. Belittle, undesirable, and part of the herd. Wired to survive, safety blanket, glimmers, just a little off, and a barrier.
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This is part three! Head back to Episode 2:218 > 2:219 > here for it to make more sense. Responsibility. Thrust upon us, chop this all up, based on fear/love, and frickin fitness example. Good enough, work ish, how I feel, and not ours to carry. Out of our control, tasks, sticky to remove, the things that I gain, and stepping towards. You are allowed to grieve.
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Notice. A draft, stable and secure, and will it be different. Doesn’t trust me, ashamed, and being brave. Time is passing, annoyed at not making sense, and more of myself on the line. I will get some things wrong, burn that to the ground too, and they got me here. Character arc, grunt, and while I was cleaning my kitchen...(This was part two - Part one is the previous episode, 2:18!)
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Unprecedented, frazzled, and at what cost. Rules. Small steps, excuses, working different muscles, and our arsenal. Patience, 100% mine, and three in one. Still don’t know how I feel about it…
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Mentally not winning any Olympic gold medals this week. Feeling low and the guilt, the missing out, and the disappointment. It’s hard to make sense, reality check, and not texting them back. Brain is hibernating, knowing better, and the weird and simple joys.
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