Episodes
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Here's the latest instalment of Arthur Pendragon's modern-day saga 'The About Time Too King', in the final edition of Season Three. I hope you've enjoyed, or got something, out of these podcasts; next year the story-strands ('King', 'Forever Blowing Bubbles', 'Mithered' and the Marriott & Pat series) will appear in a somewhat different format... but I don't know what that format is yet! Keep an internet eye peeled for related news.
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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For the penultimate edition of Season Three, I've thrown the spotlight on the podcast's theme music, which started life as a song by some daft brush named Cromford. The song's called 'Tit For Tat' and the lyric is self-explanatory; if you hunt down the song on my website (paulcromford.com, 'Original Music and Lyrics') you can bounce a little mental blue ball along the words as they get sung. Minutes of fun!
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Missing episodes?
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Continuing my tale of 'The About Time Too King' (Arthur Pendragon and his unlikely modern-day cohorts); in this instalment Merlin Pettifer makes a few 'phone calls... and several startling discoveries. Lend an ear to discover all.
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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In this edition of AFC, I cock (what is for me) an overdue snook at such ultra-liberal conceits as cancel culture, gender fluidity and the extinction rebellion shower... and yes, I refuse to dignify the latter bunch with capital initials. Aren't you tired of all the bullying, all that inflated sense of entitlement, all that hypersensitivity on behalf of unconsulted sections of society? Don't you find all of that eagerness to Take Offence At Something deeply offensive in itself? Yep, me too.
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Beginning a continuation of my story-strand concerning Arthur Pendragon and his uphill preparations to defend 21st-century England against her deadliest-ever danger... whatever that might prove to be. To recap this story, see the following episodes in AFC Season Two: "...Pine For Chivalry" (2:10), "...Scoff At Reincarnation" (2:12) and "...Talk The Talk" (2:24).
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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Ringo wanted to stay with an octopus, George wanted to pay a bit less tax, John wanted his mother, and Paul... what did Paul really really want? This edition of 'Any Fool Can...' suggests our Paulie wanted to be something rather less salubrious than a writer of paperbacks. Get the lowdown here!
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Action stations! Here's one more instalment from my concept 'Forever Blowing Bubbles': this is the final part of the four-part story 'Evangeline's Echo'. Comedy is in short supply this time; revelation follows revelation, and if you haven't got a lump in your throat by the end, I will have failed!
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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Nobody likes a smartarse, apparently. That's a strange fact, isn't it? After all, those clever-clogs are only trying to raise the bar so that the rest of us can try harder... and surely no rational person would fight shy of being the best they can be? Surely? Or maybe you know differently!
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More from the sketch-strand 'Forever Blowing Bubbles': this is Part Three of the four-part story 'Evangeline's Echo'. Who was Buck Rumpley? Why is Commander Hassock behaving so strangely? Where is Talfryn's backside? And what has Phobes got in his earphones? Some of the answers are here...
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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Nothing to do with obscenity, this episode: it's about insensitivity, usually displayed by people too young or inexperienced to realise how crass they sound! The guest reader is my obliging friend Reginald Vera Petheringhamtonovichinstein.
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A return to the sketch-strand 'Forever Blowing Bubbles', and Part Two of the story 'Evangeline's Echo'. Part One was first made public in AFC Season Two, Episode 22 (Any Fool Can... Stay Flippant). This time around, find out -- among other things -- what has accosted Talfryn, what Commander Hassock keeps in his wallet, and what Phobes does when he can't sleep.
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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They're grizzled & paunchy, they shuffle & shamble, their appearances cost a mortgage or two. What are they? Why, they're the dribbly old men and women of pop music, surviving since the 1960s and STILL hogging the concert limelight. This episode of AFC asks: why can't they all just buzz off once and for all?
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Presenting one more episode of the series 'Mithered' for this season: Clint and Harry are together again, united by their reciprocal dislike, and we find out where you really shouldn't linger on an English Saturday evening.
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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The kindness of strangers is given a spotlight in this edition: specifically, two people who came to my aid when I was in serious physical difficulties. I was deeply grateful way back then, and still am. Whoever those saviours were, I hope they've had a happy and comfortable life.
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Continuing my comedic series 'Mithered', featuring tetchy little Clint Eastworth and the enigmatic American, Harry Giggleswick. This instalment reacquaints us with the shady Mr Melchizedek, and we find out what Harry intends to do with Mrs Eastworth. The rogue!
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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Fantastic! Amazing! Brilliant! Awesome! Are you getting thoroughly fed up of seeing these words being used to describe every mediocre thing around you? Yes, me too. I would say it's incredibly annoying, but the word 'incredibly' is also annoying because it turns up just about everywhere. This edition of AFC is a curmudgeonly grumble about the exaggeration game!
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Presenting the next instalment of my comedic series 'Mithered': this is the one featuring tetchy little Clint Eastworth and the enigmatic American, Harry Giggleswick. Previously featured in the Season 2 episodes "...Covet A Croissant" (2.02), "...Run And Hide" (2.04) and "...Have Their Head Turned" (2.20), this story is now putting out shoots all over the place and even I don't have much control over it! Let's go with its flow together.
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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In this edition, meet my guest speaker Clara. She's efficient, obedient, and she doesn't exist... except as a voice generated by Text-To-Speech software. Are you planning to use such technology in your own endeavours? Then you ought to hear what Clara has to say.
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Continuing the adventures of Pat Moore and the newly-plural Marriott Frinton, previously featured in 'AFC... Talk To Themselves' (Episode 4 of this Season). In this episode, Pat and Marriott the Elder fall foul of a police constable bringing his bolshie Black Country ways to the Scottish Western Isles. What can the other Frintons do?
Characters and sketches © 2020-21 Paul Cromford (me); the author (me again) hereby asserts his moral rights to ownership of same.
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If 'The Lark Ascending' and 'Fantasia on a Theme of Thomas Tallis' are to Ralph Vaughan Williams what 'Harvest' was to Neil Young, then the music in this edition is Vaughan Williams' 'Ragged Glory'! Or maybe I mean 'Tonight's The Night'... either way, it's Ralphie as the concertgoer seldom hears him.
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