Episodes
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Doesn't seem to matter what we do, it’s time to say adieu. And as Joel, Kent Daddy, and Zack wrap up season 10 of Baconsale, we’re taking a look back at the episodes we’ve done this year. We’ll throw out some seasonal stats first, then we’ll begin patting ourselves on the back as we talk (in parentheses) about our favorite intros, outros, images, blurbs, moments, running gags, and more. We’ll reminisce about converting to Arby’s or cream cheese, we’ll offer episode numbers right off the tops of our heads, we’ll steal each other’s jokes, and we’ll even start planning for the future as we discuss the past.
Don’t be a cheese pansy, press play to hear the final episode of 2024. -
What a bright time, it’s the right time, for Baconsale to discuss Christmas music again. It seems that every classic holiday song has been covered hundreds of times, but on this episode, Joel, Kent, and Zack have whittled that down to three popular versions of 25 iconic songs, including "Jingle Bell Rock," "Let It Snow," "O Holy Night," "Sleigh Ride," “Here Comes Santa Claus,” and "Winter Wonderland." We’re going to debate each tree-o of tunes and decide which one should be the default on your smart speaker. We’ll also talk in parentheses, break some triple ties, and bare some bias about Bing and Bublé. Beware of Big Gulps making mouth sounds after you press play. You can also find the Spotify playlist of all the Christmas cover song candidates we bring up on this episode at Baconsale.com.
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Missing episodes?
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Baconsale has talked about Hallmark Christmas movies before, but on this episode, we’re creating our own holiday-themed rom-com by making a list, checking it twice, and using the childhood game of M.A.S.H. to find out whose films are naughty and nice. Joel, Kent, and Zack will each star in their own movies while a random number generator will pick things like their job, their love interest, their tragic backstory, and their reason for going back to their hometown. Then they’ll have to tie everything together in a magically festive way. After we’re done, it’s up to you, the listener, to decide which clichéd Christmas flick you would choose to watch this winter.
Watch out for Twister references as Twinkle, Jolly, and Mistletoe help you press play! -
You know, 2004 doesn’t seem that long ago. . .until you start discussing the songs that came out back then. And that’s precisely what we’re doing on this episode of Baconsale. Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to relive their college and teenage years through music. We’re picking our favorite and least favorite tunes for categories such as There’s No Way It’s 20 Years Old, Iconic Angsty Student/Teen Song, It's Grown on Me, I Hate It Still, and more. There will be some repeated answers, more than a few honorable mentions, and plenty of references to Hoobastank, but you can rest assured that most of these artists are still alive. Hey, hey, Luda! Press play! You can also find our official Spotify playlist of songs we discussed on this episode at Baconsale.com.
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Are we not merciful that we decided to do another BaconBit for you, our listener? Are you not entertained that Ridley Scott decided to do a sequel to his own Oscar-winning film over 20 years later? Joel hasn’t seen the movie yet, but Kent and Zack watched Gladiator II and they’re ready to give their review. The first part will be spoiler-free, except for a few plot points they already gave away in the trailer. After that, Joel will exit the arena so that Zack and Kent may unleash the full force of their GladIIator thoughts.
Use those fantastic arms of yours to press play. -
The Hot Light is on, which means it’s time for Baconsale to discuss Krispy Kreme doughnuts! Or are they donuts? Regardless, Joel, Sprinkles, and Zack have tried over 20 different flavors of yeast-raised, fried, filled, and glazed treats and they’re ready to rank them, top to bottom. We’ll start with a discussion about the seasonal and limited-time offerings before moving along the icing-caked conveyor belt to our ratings for a baker’s dozen of core confections. We may unleash some kontroversies as we chat about the history of the Krispy Kreme chain and offer our opinions, but don’t worry, we’ll do our best to keep things sweet, light, and fluffy.
Press play to microwave this podcast for 8 seconds. -
Let’s Get Loud, because it’s time for Baconsale to discuss divas. It doesn’t matter Whenever, Wherever these powerful female vocalists come from, we’ve put 32 of them on a bracket to determine which diva is The Best. And there might be One Moment in Time when you’ll Roar because we came in like a Wrecking Ball and knocked your favorite singer out after a Shallow argument, but you must Believe that No One thinks these decisions are easy. Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to attempt to keep their Emotions in check, try not to be Toxic, give the proper amount of Respect to each artist, Shake it Off when we lose, and Work to balance recency bias and legacy bias. Press play to be a Material Girl who is Irreplaceable. At Baconsale.com, you can download our official Dueling Diva bracket and find our Spotify sampler platter of popular songs from all of these famous women.
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It all comes down to this. Joel, Kent Daddy, and Margot Kidder (Zack) are finally concluding their trilogy talk with this third Baconsale episode. You know, unless we decide there’s another batch of worthy film trilogies to discuss and release a fourth installment. But this time we’re rating famous movie franchises such as Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, Star Wars (Sequels), Pirates of the Caribbean, Jurassic Park, Blade, Cars, Pitch Perfect, The Hangover, and The Lord of the Rings. And who knows? We may be pulling up next to you in a van to offer you some of these DVDs sometime soon. Keep an eye out!
Grandma recommends that you press play, thieves of Steves. -
It’s alive! Baconsale’s episode all about Frankenstein is alive! And before you say it, yes, we know that Frankenstein is the name of the doctor, not his monster. However, Mary Shelley’s creation has become so integrated into pop culture that it’s hard to tell which ideas actually came from her novel and which were brought to life by Hollywood. That’s where we come in. Joel, Kent, and Zack have donned their lab coats to discuss the differences between the book and the movies. Then, we’ll share our findings about real-life experiments by mad scientists which ***WARNING*** gets a little gruesome. And finally, we’ll wrap things up by letting you know which Frankenstein films are Baconsale-approved.
Flip the switch Fritz/Igor and press play! -
Like a cursed frogurt, Baconsale is back to haunt you with another spooky discussion for October. Joel, Kent, Zack, Kang, and Kodos have watched every Simpsons Treehouse of Horror episode and we’re ready to share our favorite and least favorite segments with you. Some (Kent and Zack) may say that the episodes have sharply declined in quality over the years and have nothing to do with Halloween anymore, whereas others (Joel) may be a little too positive and end up being a hype man for average parodies. But that’s okay, because all podcast and no conflict make Homer something something.
Quoth the raven, “set your podcast to evil and press play!”
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We want to play a game. During this episode of Baconsale, Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to try and determine how much of a “final girl” they really are. Therefore, we’ve created a list of horror movie villains, from A to Xenomorph, and will decide in each round if we’d defeat these monsters, if we’d barely survive the attack, or if we’d die a cowardly death. Along the way, there may be some humorous, though semi-graphic descriptions of how we (or they) would meet our (or their) demise, so listener discretion is advised. However, we invite you to play along and let us know how you’d fare in each hypothetical Halloween scenario.
Press play to see if you’ll end up being buddies with bad guys. -
Don’t be afraid, listener, it’s just Baconsale. And we’re kicking off this October with an episode about frightful feelings. We’ll begin with a discussion about the most common fears in the world and confess which of us are afraid of the mainstream. Then we’ll let Zack pronounce some bizarre phobias while Joel and Kent explain what each term means. And finally, we asked you for your most irrational fears, and we’re going to list them (with some semblance of anonymity), judge them, and then rank them from the most rational to the most absurd. It’s a fearfully fun time!
Press play to let raw meat be your constant and unlock your Californiaphobia. -
Ahoy, listener! Welcome aboard this episode of Baconsale, where Joel, Kent, and Zack are going to be discussing the smooth sounds of yacht rock with our friend, Scott. If you’re not familiar with this style of music, don’t worry, we’ll explain (as best we can) which songs & artists are considered part of it. Then we’ll present our choices for such categories as Best Love Song, Smoothest Saxophone, Would Make Me Jump Off the Yacht, Favorite Solo Artist, and Best Song Featuring Michael McDonald That Isn't from The Doobie Brothers. And if we’re not sure about an answer, we can always turn to Captain Yacht Rock himself for approval. Press play to set a course for smooth sailing tunes! And visit Baconsale.com to find our official Spotify playlist of the yacht rockers we discussed on this episode.
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In honor of the 20th anniversary of Oceanic Flight 815’s crash, we’ve opened our eyes and are ready to talk about the TV series Lost. We’ll start off on the spoiler-free side of the island, giving some general background about this iconic ABC drama and flashing back to our personal experiences with the show. Then, after some time has passed, we’ll climb down the spoiler hatch to discuss specific plot points and rank our favorite characters, moments, and episodes. Joel, Kent & Zack, won’t answer every question you may still have about Lost, but we’ll attempt to clear some black smoke away from the bigger mysteries. And we’re going to try to finish this Baconsale episode in less than 4.815162342 hours. Don’t be a purposeful Poochie, press play!
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Yip yip! M. Night Shyamalan’s film The Last Airbender has been derided as one of the worst films ever made since it was released in 2010—perhaps rightly so, since it offended fans of the original animated TV series and bewildered newcomers to the story. However, on this episode of Baconsale, it’s up to Joel, Kent, and Zack to defend this attempt at a live-action adaptation and keep things positive. Why? Because you told us to. We’ll justify odd pronunciations, we’ll present our favorite scenes, we’ll make Taco Bell comparisons, and we’ll give ourselves the occasional rant break, so we don’t bend fire from our eyes or lose control and angrily enter the Avatar State (Ahvahtar Stahte?).
Ladies and gentlemen of the listener, press play. -
Now that Joel, Kent, and Zack have built their industry-revitalizing shopping malls earlier this season, it’s time for them to create the perfect food court. Therefore, on this episode of Baconsale, we’ve got a list of popular mall eateries including Orange Julius, Sbarro, Hot Dog on a Stick, Wetzel’s Pretzels, Panda Express & Mrs. Fields, and we’re going to take turns picking restaurants one by one. In the end, it’s up to you, the listener, to decide which of our food courts you would frequent. Listen as we debate which foods are real, critique each other’s choices and, for some reason, make references to brassiere stores. Grab a sample at one of the many pretzel vendors and press play.
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Attention, Kmart Shoppers! After 36 years and a failed attempt at going Hawaiian, Tim Burton has finally made a sequel to Beetlejuice. Joel and Kent were able to watch this return to the Neitherworld and are ready to share their thoughts with you. We’ll begin this BaconBit with a spoiler-free review, where we’ll discuss our feelings about the film and how it compares to the original movie. Then, after Zack leaves, we’ll turn on the spoiler juice and see what shakes loose as we talk specific plot points and try to avoid sounding like stereo instructions.
Press play to hear if Michael Keaton is still the ghost with the most. -
Baconsale has already taken a look at the music of 30 years ago this season, so why not roll back the clock another decade and pick some tunes from 1984? Well, because trying to decide which songs to include is like choosing a favorite child. There are so many good options from that year, even for Zack, who wasn’t even born yet! Nevertheless, we are going to press forward with this episode and select answers for such categories as Feels Older than 40, Overrated, Best Love Song, Favorite One-Hit Wonder, and more. Listen to hear which tracks get by on technicalities, what music is on Joel’s Kissy List, and which songs are the one & only obvious choice for that category.
Put that VHS tape in the VCR and press play!
You can also find our official 1984 Spotify playlist at Baconsale.com.
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Whether you’re listening to this episode on Monday morning or Saturday Night, the Wicked Baconsale boys are ready to present the Megalopolis of movies that are slated to be released this fall & winter. We’ll begin by unleashing our Venom on five films we’re hoping will flop and throw them to the Wolfs. Then we’ll Transformers One topic into another and Speak No Evil against the five movies we’re wanting to watch. Joel, Kent, and Zack may move slow at first, but then we’ll try to Mufasa and you’ll be Gladiator we did because we have a lot of ground to cover. Which button should you push? The Red One that says play, you Joker.
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Oh yeah! This Baconsale commercial mascot battle just keeps going and going and going. What can we say? We like to party. And while things may get a little cuckoo on this episode, we are going to finish the bracket and declare which mascot packs the biggest vitamin-packed punch. Do you believe in magic? Because that’s going to come into play a few times, as well as some Bible stories. Our logic may be difficult to follow, but just follow your nose and you’ll be fine. Will a snowmobile be the leprechaun’s lucky charm? Can Smokey Bear prevent tire fires? Would the silly Trix Rabbit do better against kids? Will a pepper bar be the downfall of Cap’n Crunch? Press play to find out. You can also download the advanced mascot bracket at Baconsale.com.
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