Episodes
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Caitlin preps for her upcoming Barbie RPG by taking us on a journey through the complex worldbuilding and lore of the Fairytopia. Mattie came here to be ensorcelled by mermaid tails and instead spends the entire movie descending into a bitter hell. The Depths of Despair are metaphorically and literally explored. Both of us are paralyzed by horror at the extremely bad character models in this film that we inexplicably refuse to describe to the audience, but you really should look up the turtle.
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Join Caitlin and Mattie as we thought we hit rock bottom with Bibble but we actually manage to dig into the bedrock with Shiver. Outfits are discussed at length, it turns out ice skating is just generally great to look at if you're bi, and we get into the surprisingly deep and heartfelt emotional complexities of our heroine and her love interest. An extremely good girlboss gaslight gatekeep vibe in this one.
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Missing episodes?
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This one's... complex. This one's psychologically challenging. This one has all the colors of the rainbow and the visual aesthetic of Halo 1. In this episode, Caitlin and Mattie develop immediate and intense crushes on the Azura (she's the blue one), use their keen wits to identify which fairies are lesbian (all of them) and Mattie works through the emotional trauma of engaging with the concept of Bibble for the full runtime of the movie (it haunts her to this day).
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The one you've all been waiting for. The most essential Barbie film. The cultural touchstone. This was your favorite barbie movie as a kid. There's a pink barbie and a blue barbie, and they have a double wedding, and what more could you possibly want from this experience? In this episode, Caitlin and Mattie literally cannot stop thinking about, looking at and discussing Preminger! Stay tuned for the shocking polyamorous conclusion! How could you refuse!
Y'all, there is so much to unpack here.
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We've now had a different preposition in every single barbie film title, and it's getting out of hand! We're aggressively against proper sound editing, and we were both under huge blankets we kept shifting around in, so the sound quality on this is approximately 5/10. Join Caitlin and Mattie as they become hardcore apologists for bird villains, surprising absolutely no one.
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Can you believe this podcast was originally intended to be a commentary track? Wild! Anyway in this episode, Caitlin and Mattie discuss the surprisingly illustrious history of the Barbie Rapunzel CD-ROM games that shadowed Mattie's entire childhood, and go feral for sparkly painting visual effects.
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In which Mattie and Caitlin commentate Barbie in The Nutcracker (2001). This one has Tim Curry as a giant rat, which is pretty much the only thing Caitlin could think about the entire time.
