Episodes

  • It's time for Margot to truly REBEL.

    How will Margot's rollercoaster end, and how will she rate compared to the rest of the Valois clan?

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    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

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    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • The last surviving of the Valois, this beautiful and intelligent princess is often seen as either a victim or a villain, but the memoirs she left behind and the reevaluation of modern historians show a different side to her story. She was a woman who struggled to find agency and self-determination in a world where the cards were stacked against her from the start.

    Can Margot break free of her abusive, conniving family and help bring an end to the senseless violence that engulfs her country?

    Stay tuned for Part 2, where we learn Margot's ultimate fate and her legacy.

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    Special thanks to Ben's colleague Sarah, an Edinburgh tour guide originally from Bordeaux, for giving a voice to Margot.

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    Music used in this episode:

    "SCP-x6x (Hopes)" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

    "Interloper" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
    Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
    http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

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    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

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    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

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  • Au revoir, Valois! We have now ranked all the kings of France belonging to the House of Valois, the cadet branch of the Capetian dynasty which reigned supreme from 1328 to 1589. Before they take a well-earned break and start gearing up for the Bourbon kings, Ben and Eliza step back to re-examine the Valois. Who did the best? Who did the worst? And who escaped the guillotine?

    Spoilers incoming, obviously!

    Our outro music is Hildegard von Blingin's cover of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel. Thanks to Hildegard for a bunch amazing bardcore remixes, which we have also used on Patreon! You can check out the full song and Hildegard's other work here.

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

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    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • This week we delve into the treacherous, tumultuous and frankly bizarre reign of King Henry III, who is certainly unlike any other king we've seen thus far! Will his entertaining shenanigans earn him a place in the tournament? And how much of his scandalous legacy is historical fact?

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    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • This episode, we close out Catherine de' Medici's life and give her a score. How does this notorious queen measure up against the likes of Charlemagne and Philip Augustus?

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • In our first part of the endlessly fascinating life that is Catherine de' Medici's, we chart her rise from an orphaned Italian "merchant's daughter" to the Queen-Mother of Europe's most prestigious kingdom.

    Next episode, we will conclude the story and ask ourselves, is she really the scheming sorceress history has made us believe? Well ... she's no angel, that's for sure!

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • There will be blood.

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    A summary of the major political figures in this episode (most of whom will be dead by the end):

    Catherine de' Medici, ruling on behalf of her son Charles IX, a moderating force between the factions (at first)

    The Ultra-Catholics:

    Duke Henry of Anjou, Charles IX's precocious younger brotherThe Duke and Cardinal de Guise, recently kicked out of powerAnne de Montmorency, Constable of France, an elderly veteran


    The Huguenot Protestants and their sympathisers:

    Antoine de Bourbon, an idiot, first Prince of the Blood and a moderate CatholicJeanne III, Queen of Navarre, his wife, a radical Protestant, with whom he has a son Henry of NavarreLouis, Prince of Condé, his ambitious brother, also a ProtestantGaspard de Coligny, Admiral of France, a charismatic Protestant general, nephew of Montmorency

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    Our "Wars of Religion" theme is taken from a recording of the Huguenot "Psalm 24". The full track is available on Youtube. As we were unable to find the original source for this music, please let us know if you have any information so that we can properly credit the artist.

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • After the sudden demise of his father, young Francis II struggles to grasp his new responsibilities as King of France. Meanwhile, his ambitious young wife Mary Stuart and her relatives, the Guise family, make their first big bid for power. And the rumbles of religious unrest in France are only getting louder...

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • He's the husband of Catherine de' Medici, the lover of Diane de Poitiers, the father-in-law of Mary, Queen of Scots. Can Henry II stand out in a period dominated by these legendary women? How will he fare against the might of the Hapsburg Empire? And how will he reconcile his religion with the unlikely allies he has to make?

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • It's time to pass judgement on Francis I, deciding whether or not King Big-Nose deserves the guillotine!

    With this monarch, we enter a new age of Protestant rebellions, American colonialism and Hapsburg domination. Did Francis rise to meet these new challenges, or was he just a blustering fool?

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • The long-awaited Renaissance king has finally arrived! This episode we go through the big moments his life from birth to death, from his famous meeting with Henry VIII at the Field of Cloth of Gold to his disastrous imprisonment in Spain.

    Next episode, we will be examining Francis's reign and legacy in further detail, and determining whether or not he will escape the guillotine!

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • From unwanted daughter to first lady of France, this episode we chart the gradual rise of Louise of Savoy - the mother, mentor and "great regent" of King Francis I.

    We'll see how she measures up to other French rulers of her time, and see whether she gets to sit in the VIP Box with our other impressive matriarchs.

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • Now that we've done his life, let's pass judgement on Louis XII, AKA the Porcupine! Does he deserve a place among the great kings of French history, or is he just another snack for the guillotine?

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • After a life spent in second place to his royal cousins, how will the Duke of Orléans fare with his new promotion to King of France?

    Stay tuned for Part 2, where we discuss Louis's legacy and rate him, with special appearances from porcupines, vipers and bees (oh my!).

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • In Part 2, we learn of Anne's second marriage and her ultimate fate!

    Does she deserve the score she got? Were the unicorn tapestries inspired by her? Was she the Taylor Swift of her time? Flock to our social media and let us know!



    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • This episode, we take a brief detour from the Valois boys to visit gorgeous Brittany and give our latest queen, Anne, her own episode, as she was also a fierce ruler in her own right, and fought for her independence from a very young age.

    In Part 1, we learn about Anne's early life, her dangerous liaisons with the Austrian Hapsburgs, and her complicated first marriage to Charles VIII of France. But things will get even messier and more dramatic in Part 2, when we learn of Anne's ultimate fate and see if she deserves to be considered one of the greats of French (and Breton!) history.

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    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

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    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • As we reach the shocking end of Charles the Affable, we'll see how he measures up to his fellow kings of France.

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    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements.

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • Charles VIII's exciting and storied reign takes us on an adventure (i.e. invasion) of Italy at the height of the Renaissance and all the soap-opera-worthy drama of the Medici, Sforza and Borgia families. In Part 1, we learn what led him to this fateful expedition, and how he did with his great ambition to conquer the Kingdom of Naples.

    Apologies for the audio quality this episode, which is not up to our current standard. We had to use a backup file for Eliza's audio and the quality was not as good as usual.

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    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    You can also support the show on Patreon! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements.

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • It's time for us to close up a loose end and finally announce the winner of the Regency of Madness mini-tournament. And to help refresh our memories, Ben has also trapped Eliza in a quiz! So put on your thinking chapeaux, and get ready for some Valois trivia.

    SPOILERS (obviously) for everything that happened in our Regency of Madness miniseries. We hope you enjoyed the ride!

    ALSO, this Saturday, come join a group of us Rexypod hosts in a Youtube livestream of "King of the Castle"!

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

  • Also called Anne de Beaujeu or Madame la Grande, this princess inherited all the best traits of her father the Universal Spider. Like him she was cunning and ruthless, yet she also had an eye for art and literature, updating the court for the new Renaissance era. Sadly for France, as a woman she would never become queen, but she did rule the realm for almost a decade on behalf of her little brother Charles VIII.

    Yet still, in the modern day, Anne of France is usually overshadowed by other great women of the 16th Century like Anne of Brittany, Louise of Savoy and Margaret of Austria. But did you know they all got their start at Anne of France's court? It's time to shed some light on a forgotten matriarch, and see how she ranks compared to our kings!

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    Meanwhile, on the Mistress series - head to our Patreon to hear about the first official royal mistress Agnès Sorel, stay tuned for her successor Antoinette de Maignelais, coming next week, and support the podcast in the process!

    ⚜️

    Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

    Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.

    Message us your thoughts!

    Support the show

    ⚜️

    Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

    ⚜️

    CATEGORIES

    Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

    Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

    For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.