Episodes

  • We’re living in an anxious time, and part of the reason we’re anxious is because there are very real challenges we face both individually and collectively. But we’re also affected by the natural tendencies of the brain, which is easily influenced by fear and threat. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how we can see threats clearly and be the “right amount” of concerned.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:20: Why is it hard for us to see threats without excessive worry?

    3:35: Transcending evolutionary influences toward fear

    6:30: The last time Rick took LSD

    10:45: Discerning what’s valuable in our anxieties, and leaving the rest

    15:45: Forrest’s apartment fire story

    17:35: Disagreements in evaluating a threat between people

    21:55: Probability of risk

    25:00: Practical techniques to assess threats with more clarity

    29:30: Existential acceptance

    33:30: Help for anxiety about anxiety

    37:15: Recap

    Sponsors:

    Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

    Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • These days couples often shoot for 50/50 in their relationships: an even split of responsibilities in the home or at work. But 50/50 often leads to fights over fairness, and this fixation on fairness can be the death of many relationships.

    On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Nate and Kaley Klemp to explore how we can build fun, fulfilling, and truly equitable relationships. Topics include Nate and Kaley’s early relationship struggles, different models of relationship, breaking out of old patterns, and how we can manage situations where one partner really is contributing significantly more than the other.

    About our Guests: Kaley Klemp is an executive coach and expert on small-group dynamics, and Nate Klemp is a bestselling author and founding partner at Mindful, one of the world's largest mindfulness media and training companies. Together, they’re the co-authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:45: Nate and Kaley’s personal relationship as a basis for their work

    5:30: Three different models of relationship

    9:30: Two pillars to 80/80 - mindset and structure

    12:20: How a 50/50 dynamic caused problems for Nate and Kaley

    19:20: The conscious or unconscious division of roles

    21:30: Gratitude and generosity

    25:40: Parenting, shared success, and being on a team

    32:15: Getting your partner’s buy-in, reveal and request

    39:50: Underlying beliefs and power imbalances

    44:20: Creating structure (and data) to have difficult conversations

    49:30: Distinguishing a reluctant partner from an unwilling partner

    52:05: Key skills that distinguish successful couples

    56:10: Recap

    Sponsors:

    Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

    Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
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  • If you’re the kind of person who listens to mental health podcasts, you’re more likely than average to get pulled into an impromptu “helping role” with your family and friends. Sometimes we seek out these roles, but they can also be uncomfortable or one-sided. And sometimes we get stuck playing a role for someone else that we never wanted in the first place.

    On this episode of Being Well, Forrest and Dr. Rick use this situation as a way in to exploring the various roles we play in life, and the profound impact those often unconscious roles have on us. They talk about relationship models, how we select our roles, how familiar roles can keep us trapped in old patterns, enactments and triangulation, and how we can exit unhealthy systems.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    2:50: The hazards of accidentally becoming a friend’s therapist

    6:45: Objectivity, professionalism, and not needing to be liked

    11:00: The roles we take on and how they shape us

    16:45: Why we choose certain roles, and being crippled by our strengths

    21:00: Enactments

    25:15: Splitting

    30:10: When someone else pushes you into a role

    35:10: Triangulation

    48:10: Deep listening and a lesson from Carl Rogers

    51:10: Practical tips for drawing boundaries in your roles with others

    59:40: Recap

    Sponsors:

    Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • It’s one thing to feel good about what we do, and another to feel truly worthy from the inside out. When we increase our self-worth it allows us to take our needs more seriously, get on our own side, and change our lives for the better.

    On this episode of Being Well, Rick and Forrest explore how we can develop a more durable sense of self-worth. They talk about self-worth vs. self-esteem, what causes people to lack self-worth, Rick’s personal story of developing a true sense of worthiness, and why more self-worth probably won’t turn you into a narcissistic a**hole.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:00: The value of self-worth

    2:50: Will improving my self-worth turn me into a narcissist?

    5:45: What makes people more likely to struggle with self-worth?

    6:50: Distinguishing self-worth from self-esteem

    9:30: Rick’s own journey to a better sense of self-worth

    14:55: Inner attacker, inner nurturer, and the beleaguered self.

    19:15: The process of building up your nurturing parts

    27:20: Investigating negative stories we tell ourselves

    30:55: Mutual rapport and being loving

    33:40: Social aspects of developing self worth, and why therapy works

    36:50: Non-social aspects

    38:20: Relating to yourself from a less ego-oriented perspective

    44:40: Vulnerability and tenderness in our interactions with others

    46:05: Recap

    Sponsors:

    Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • Diego Perez, widely known by his pen name Yung Pueblo, joins Forrest to explore how we can deepen our personal practice, refine the mind, break old patterns, relax the self, and feel lighter than we were before.

    This was one of my absolute favorite conversations I’ve had on the podcast, and being with Diego was a real pleasure. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

    About our Guest: Diego Perez is a poet, meditator, and New York Times bestselling author widely known through his pen name Yung Pueblo. His writing focuses on how we can grow and change for the better, create healthy relationships, and come to truly know ourselves. His newest book is Lighter: Let Go of the Past, Connect with the Present, and Expand the Future.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    0:55: Why the name Yung Pueblo?

    2:35: What holds most people back from growth

    4:35: Habits Diego struggled with and the logical basis of coping mechanisms

    9:15: Moments of insight in learning Vipassana Meditation

    11:40: Finding stability in the gradual separation from the ‘self’

    20:30: Stories others have told us about ourselves

    26:50: What has helped Diego find a flexible sense of identity?

    28:55: Relationships as a process not a person

    31:20: Diego’s personal meditation and creative practice

    34:15: The benefits of a pen name and healthy detachment from your work

    40:00: Benefits and pitfalls of social media

    42:50: Forrest’s meditation practice, and the positive aspects of difficult emotions

    48:25: What Diego would tell his younger self.

    50:30: Recap

    Sponsors:

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your 50% OFF your entire purchase, plus free shipping by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL50 at checkout!

    Wondrium helps you learn anything! Right now, Wondrium is offering our listeners 50% OFF their first three months. Sign up today at wondrium.com/beingwell.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • We all make mistakes in life. When we do it's important to take appropriate responsibility, feel the "wince," and make amends as we can. But after we've done that...then what? Many people find it easier to forgive others than they do to truly forgive themselves, and it's not uncommon to be burdened by excessive shame and guilt that has outlived its expiration date.

    On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore forgiveness, including how we can forgive ourselves. This includes common myths and misunderstandings about forgiveness, the difference between healthy and unhealthy forms of shame and remorse, coming to terms with what we've done, and a roadmap to achieving (self-)forgiveness.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    2:05: Assumptions, approval, and what forgiveness is and is not

    7:45: What does healthy remorse look like?

    10:00: Forrest exploring a dream about appropriate remorse

    13:00: Our internalized justice system

    17:00: More on dreams and internal parts

    24:25: Aspects of unhealthy remorse

    27:30: How to move through a recurring cycle of shame and unhealthy remorse

    32:30: Proportionality, defensiveness, intention, and owning your mistakes

    41:00: Clean pain and dirty pain

    46:55: Some concrete practices

    51:40: Recap

    Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! For just the cost of a cup of coffee a month you can support the show, and receive a variety of bonuses in return.

    Sponsors:

    Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts!

    Access over 30 at-home lab tests from Everlywell, and head to everlywell.com/beingwell for twenty percent off your next test.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, the author of The Body Keeps the Score, joins Rick and Forrest to explore how trauma keeps us stuck, and how we can use imagination, self-expression, and creativity to break away from those old patterns. Along the way they talk about using somatic and non-cognitive interventions, internalized abuse, the value of a developmental perspective, using psychedelics for complex trauma, some of the problems with modern psychiatry, and how we can cultivate an equitable, flexible, and compassionate approach to treatment.

    About Our Guest: Bessel van der Kolk is a professor of Psychiatry at the Boston University School of Medicine and president of the Trauma Research Foundation in Brookline, Massachusetts. He’s also the bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score, which is one of the most influential modern books in the field.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:15: Imagination and aspirational thinking in healing trauma

    4:55: Creativity and cultural context

    6:10: Where a sense of agency begins

    8:40: Why people internalize abuse

    16:30: The myriad available practices for redefining past traumas

    22:10: The state of psychedelic research and the importance of patient care

    29:15: The need for new approaches to diagnosis and treatment

    34:00: Issues with the DSM-5 and the need to integrate interpersonal processes

    38:50: What counts as trauma? Collective trauma?

    42:25: The need for cooperative strategies confronting trauma in pro-social movements

    45:15: What helps people resource themselves to create change?

    51:45: Recap


    Sponsors:

    Access over 30 at-home lab tests from Everlywell, and head to everlywell.com/beingwell for twenty percent off your next test.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • On this episode of Being Well, Rick and Forrest answer questions from listeners. They explore what they’re still working on in their relationship, how we can disengage from obsessive thoughts and old patterns, Rick’s thoughts on psychedelics and how they can be used with discernment, their views on whether human nature is innately cooperative or competitive, and much more.

    If you’d like to ask a question to be answered on the show, send us an email at [email protected] or support us on Patreon.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:10: What do Rick and Forrest still find challenging in their relationship?

    8:40: What to do with obsessive thoughts

    17:00: What to do when old patterns creep up

    26:35: Rick’s thoughts on taking psychedelics with intention outside of therapy

    35:05: Respect for indigenous tradition around psychedelic plant use

    37:00: Interpretation, discernment, and drugs as telescopes

    42:45: Compassionate justice vs. holding and controlling

    47:50: How do we get the ideas we have about the world?

    53:25: Recap

    Sponsors:

    Green Chef makes eating well easy with plans to fit every lifestyle. Order organic, environmentally conscious meal kits at GreenChef.com/beingwell135 and use code beingwell135 to get $135 off across five boxes - and your first box ships free!

    Access over 30 at-home lab tests from Everlywell, and head to everlywell.com/beingwell for twenty percent off your next test.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • In 2016 Jason Kander was a rising star in the Democratic Party. After narrowly losing the race to become one of Missouri’s Senators, he began laying the groundwork for a Presidential run. Jason unexpectedly pivoted to declaring his candidacy for the 2019 Kansas City mayoral election, and quickly became the clear favorite. Three months into that campaign he ended his candidacy and stepped back from public life after revealing that he had suffered from PTSD and depression after serving as an intelligence officer in Afghanistan in 2006 and 2007

    On today’s episode of Being Well, Jason joins Forrest to talk about his personal journey recovering from PTSD, the impact of his time serving in Afghanistan, imposter syndrome and shame, having a mental health challenge in public, and what we can do to better support veterans.

    About our Guest: Jason is a former Missouri Secretary of State and member of the Missouri state legislature. He’s current the President of National Expansion at Veterans Community Project, a non-profit organization dedicated to fighting veteran suicide and homelessness. He’s also the host of Majority 54, a popular political podcast, and the author of Invisible Storm: A Soldier’s Memoir of Politics and PTSD.

    If you're in crisis, are thinking about suicide, or are concerned about a loved one, please call 1-800-273-8255. The Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:45: Jason’s experience coming to accept having PTSD

    3:45: Symptoms

    5:50: How the military (mostly doesn't) address PTSD

    8:00: Chronic stress, public perception, feelings of failure, and uncertainty of recovery

    13:40: Jason’s Veterans Affairs (VA) experience

    15:40: Veteran's Community Project and other resources for veterans

    20:00: Therapeutic practices Jason did

    27:50: Physical sensations associated with PTSD

    31:40: Imposter syndrome related to being a combat veteran

    33:05: Working through shame and comparison

    36:15: How Jason’s view of therapy progressed through the process

    42:30: What Jason would do differently for his mental health if he ran for office again

    47:05: More on Veterans Community Project and their tiny house program

    51:50: Recap

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Access over 30 at-home lab tests from Everlywell, and head to everlywell.com/beingwell for twenty percent off your next test.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • On the previous episode of Being Well, we talked about how to identify our wants and needs...but identifying our needs is just the first step. After that comes the tricky business of coming to terms with those needs, and communicating them effectively to other people.

    In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore best practices for claiming and expressing our needs. This includes how to navigate shame and inhibition, make effective agreements, be considerate of the person on the receiving end of our wants, and become more skillful at negotiation and repair.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    2:05: Getting real about meeting our needs.

    7:10: Suppressing needs due to self-worth challenges

    8:35: Patience, making your offering, and tipping points

    11:45: Inhibition, and negotiating our needs with other people

    15:50: Non-Violent Communication and “Wise Speech” models

    26:30: The need for multiple cycles of communication

    28:20: Expecting defeat, and two big moments of pain

    32:10: Keeping agreements

    37:45: Confidence in the ability to repair

    39:35: Considering the person on the receiving end of your communication

    43:00: Generosity

    45:15: Questions to ask when feeling uncertain about how to express a need

    49:30: Death by a thousand cuts, and facing discomfort

    52:10: Asking others, “What else do you want from me?”

    54:30: Recap

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts!

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • Everyone has needs, but many people find it difficult to identify what authentically matters to them. Even when we can identify them, shame or fear often stops us from expressing those needs to others or taking the practical steps that would help us achieve them.

    Meeting our needs is a major source of well-being, and people who can identify their needs are more likely to get them met. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on how to look inside, and figure out what you really need. They discuss different frameworks for categorizing our needs, what to do when we are confused by our desires, and how to get in touch with what you really want.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    2:05: Common features among people who struggle to name their desires

    7:05: Three basic steps to relate to wants and needs

    8:00: Different frameworks for categorizing wants and needs

    21:00: What helped Rick get in touch with his own wants and needs?

    28:00: An experiential exercise

    35:10: Why addressing your needs and wants is not just naval gazing

    38:40: Forrest’s suggestions based on his own experience

    45:25: What to do when what we want is probably not best for us

    51:40: Creating a personal manifesto

    54:30: Recap

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Listen to Season 2 of Turning Points from Boston Globe Media wherever you get your podcasts!

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • Renowned physician Dr. Gabor Maté joins Rick and Forrest to explore the many problems for our bodies and minds that arise out of our modern culture, and what we can do to meet our needs, heal ourselves, and become more whole. They discuss our increasing separation from one another, issues with aspects of the medical model, the true nature of addiction, the developmental needs of children, the myth of “normal,” and recovering from traumatic experiences.

    About Our Guest: Dr. Gabor Maté is one of the world’s leading experts on trauma, addiction, and childhood development. His work has had an enormous impact on how we understand the interactions between our internal world and the world around us, and he is the bestselling author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Scattered Minds, and his newest book The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:55: What Gabor means by a toxic culture

    4:25: Interpersonal biology - our physiology is modulated by our relationships

    7:10: What components are needed for a healthy culture?

    11:55: Examples of toxic culture’s impact on people’s behavior

    15:20: Addiction

    21:00: How and when to distinguish degrees of trauma

    27:05: Where and when to express healthy anger

    33:10: How turning against the self manifests as illness

    36:45: What supports people in returning to their authentic nature?

    40:00: Psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, and creating a sacred context

    41:45: Grief, integration, and letting go

    44:55: Gabor’s relationship with his children

    48:25: Five kinds of compassion, disillusionment, and truth

    51:20: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?

    53:25: Recap

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • We all have narcissistic traits. Having some sense of our own specialness isn’t just normal, it’s actually psychologically healthy. The problems start when people go beyond normal levels, and become addicted to feeling special. On this episode, Forrest is joined by Dr. Craig Malkin to explore narcissism and narcissistic traits. They talk about the different forms narcissism takes, the difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), red flags, dealing with narcissists, treatment options, and finding the “right amount” of feeling special.

    About our Guest: Dr. Malkin is a Lecturer in Psychology for Harvard Medical School, a licensed psychologist with several decades of clinical experience, and the author of Rethinking Narcissism: The Secret to Recognizing and Coping with Narcissists. He also has a great YouTube channel.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:35: Narcissism as a pervasive universal trait

    4:10: What differentiates healthy narcissism vs. disordered narcissism?

    5:45: “Triple E” - exploitation, entitlement, empathy impairments

    6:45: Incapable of empathy, or unmotivated?

    9:10: What distinguishes having narcissistic traits from having NPD?

    13:05: Extraverted, covert, and communal narcissism

    23:10: Healthy and unhealthy narcissistic traits often go together

    25:20: Insecure attachment

    28:30: Emotional hot potato

    32:10: Social and cultural power dynamics

    36:25: What does healing narcissism look like?

    42:55: What modalities do you use in therapy?

    45:20: Difficult relationships, communal activation, empathy prompts

    50:35: Extinction bursts and using anxiety responses in therapy

    53:25: How do you repair with your partner?

    57:05: Recap

    Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join me August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with loss, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • We all experience big, difficult feelings, from common emotions like uncertainty, anger, despair, and regret, to difficult experiences like the pains of comparison, burnout, and perfectionism. On today’s episode of Being Well Podcast, Forrest is joined by the wonderful author, coach, and content creator Mollie West Duffy to explore how we can accept those big feelings, learn to live alongside them, and develop tools that help us deal with them more effectively.

    About Our Guest: Mollie is an expert in organizational design, development, and leadership who has helped advise and coach executives and founders at companies including Google, Casper, and LinkedIn. She’s the co-author of the bestselling book No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work, and the recently released Big Feelings: How To Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay, and is also one half of the Instagram account, @lizandmollie.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:30: Why is Mollie’s new book called Big Feelings?

    5:10: The useful flip side

    6:45: How Mollie’s relationship to anger changed during the creation of this book

    9:20: Difficult emotions as a resource and source of regulation

    11:30: Unhelpful myths in how to deal with difficult emotions

    16:45: Healthy responses to those myths

    21:10: Vulnerability

    25:50: Emotional granularity

    27:05: Lengthening the time between trigger and response

    30:05: Processing anxiety

    35:25: How to relax the desire for control

    41:45: Medication

    44:10: Anxiety doesn’t accurately reflect risk

    46:40: Burnout - even around things you enjoy

    55:25: Comparing our suffering with others

    57:05: Comparing our accomplishments with others

    1:01:35: Recap

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • Receiving a diagnosis can be emotionally challenging, and leave a person with a lot of understandable questions: What does this mean? What do I do now? How do I relate to this?

    On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what a diagnosis is, how the diagnostic process works, the limitations of diagnosing someone, dealing with the emotions that come up, and how we can better think about and relate to receiving a diagnosis. Throughout the conversation they focus on how we can come to understand ourselves better, and be liberated by that understanding rather than burdened by it.

    ADHD is used a number of times during this conversation as an example, so if you have an ADHD diagnosis this episode could be particularly interesting.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    2:55: What is a diagnosis, and what is the process used to give a diagnosis?

    6:50: What is the purpose of diagnosing someone?

    8:50: Situating what defines pathology within our evolutionary and cultural context

    11:40: Origins of mental health conditions, social environment, and privilege

    14:40: How diagnosis done, and differentiating between different diagnoses

    25:05: More discussion on environmental and cultural effects

    31:10: Three subtypes of ADHD

    33:00: The emotional complexity of receiving a diagnosis

    42:30: What helps people in working through the emotions that come up?

    46:35: Paying attention to your emotional experience as much as solving your problem.

    49:35: Mental health awareness, resources, and support from others

    51:00: Rick’s response when someone is given a diagnosis

    58:50: Recap

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    MDbio is a plant-based medicine company with natural products that address sleep, anxiety, pain, and immunity. Get your FREE 10-count sample pack by going to mdbiowellness.com and entering the promo code BEINGWELL at checkout!

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • There’s been an explosion of interest in psychedelics over the last 10 years, and phrases like “psychedelic-assisted therapy” have gone from the relative fringes of the mental health conversation to bursting into the mainstream. Alongside a great deal of hype is a growing body of research revealing the potential of substances like psilocybin and MDMA as novel treatments for depression, addiction, and PTSD.

    On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by Dr. Albert Garcia-Romeu from the Johns Hopkins Center for Psychedelic and Consciousness Research. They explore the history and current state of psychedelic research, their subjective effects, the necessity of the “trip,” how psychedelics work in the brain, why researchers are so interested in these substances, and what a psychedelic-assisted therapy session looks like.

    About Our Guest: Dr. Garcia-Romeu is a member of the Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences faculty at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. His research examines the effects of psychedelics in humans, with a focus on psilocybin as an aid in the treatment of addiction.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:55: Dr. Garcia-Romeu’s background

    3:00: What substances have been the focus of research?

    8:10: The history of psychedelics

    11:15: Usefulness and subjective effects of classical psychedelics (LSD/Psilocybin)

    17:35: Ego loss or “ego-death” and the role of spirituality in mental health

    21:40: What is happening neurologically with Psilocybin?

    27:55: Psychedelics may be the best current treatment option for some conditions

    35:05: How close is the research to proving efficacy?

    38:05: The relative safety of psychedelics

    41:00: What does a psychedelic-assisted therapy session look like?

    47:00: Self-guidance in a session

    49:50: Duration of treatment, financial and legal access

    54:00: Using psychedelics for personal growth, spiritual practice, and even recreation

    58:00: Where is the field going?

    59:25: Recap

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • The median life expectancy for a man living in the United States is roughly 80 years. That works out to 960 months, 4,160 weeks, or about 29,000 days. Rick is sneaking up on 70 years old, which means, on average, he's got about 10 years – or 520 weeks – left.

    Putting the time we have left into simple numbers can be both a bit daunting and remarkably clarifying. When you're in the middle of them, the days can blur together. But the truth is that our time’s limited, and how we use it is up to us. On today’s episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about what's helped them come to terms with mortality, the reality of our limited time, and how we can use that knowledge to refine our focus and live a more fulfilling life.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    4:00: How Rick’s relationship with death has changed over time

    11:05: Appreciating life as a comfort in accepting death

    14:00: Dukkah, Tanha, and contentment

    16:30: Distinguishing the ocean (reality) from the wave (ego)

    21:20: Acceptance, contraction, and expansion

    25:35: Finite experiences, and undelivered communications

    31:30: “Life is for the living”

    33:10: Giving, contribution, contentment, and fulfillment

    40:05: What to do about regret?

    47:40: Serenity in old age

    49:00: Practical ways to hold awareness of death

    55:05: Recap

    Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join me August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with loss, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • Shame is one of the most complex and difficult emotions we experience on a regular basis, and one that can have seriously negative impacts on our sense of self-worth and ability to experience healthy connection with others.

    On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson take a deep dive into what shame is, how it develops, and what distinguishes it from guilt and other related emotions. They then focus on questioning our assumptions about shame, which can help us identify where it comes from.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:40: The biological roots of shame

    4:00: Shame's ties to our assumptions about the world

    7:00: Impropriety, and shame as a psychological stage of development

    9:55: Distinguishing shame from guilt

    14:00: Unnecessary shame, healthy remorse, and your own integrity system

    21:55: Who decides what being good looks like?

    25:40: Morality in the service of power

    32:20: What helps us work with experiences of shame

    38:25: Isolation and the value of sharing with others in some way

    43:50: Working with your shame story

    49:00: Shame, group belonging, and personal change

    51:25: Recap

    Rick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BeingWell50 at checkout for an additional $50 off the registration price.

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • There’s a lot of loss in the world these days, both in our individual lives and in our broader communities, and with those losses comes grief. Grief is one of the most challenging emotions to be with, and it can be difficult to offer generalized advice because everyone's experience of grief is profoundly unique.

    On today’s episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by one of the world’s leading researchers on grief, Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor, to help us better understand grief and grieving. They explore why grief is such a unique and intense emotion, how grief works in the brain, the problems with generalized models like the “five stages of grief,” and how we can learn to live with loss.

    About Our Guest: Mary-Frances is a neuroscientist, clinical psychologist, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. She’s also the author of the wonderful book The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction and disclaimer

    3:35: Mary-Frances’ personal background

    6:55: Distinguishing grief from grieving

    9:20: Self-criticism, and the over-focus on recovery

    11:20: Grief isn't "something to get over"

    13:00: Attachment, and our neurological map

    16:00: Prediction error

    19:30: Complicated grief

    25:00: Spiritual practice, or having a worldview that incorporates death

    28:05: Is there a ‘normal’ grieving process?

    35:25: Pathology, and normal human experiences

    46:00: Neurological overview of grief in the brain

    50:40: The Dual Process Model of Grief

    54:10: Sometimes distraction is okay

    56:15: Therapeutic practices and learning from grief

    1:01:00: Grief and its relationship to love

    1:03:40: Recap

    Rick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off the registration price.

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website
  • One of the most important and challenging skills we can develop is learning to regulate our strong emotions. While it’s very natural to have fluctuations in how we feel about others and ourselves, for some people these ups and downs are particularly intense. At clinical levels, this is known as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

    BPD is characterized by a pattern of instability in a person’s emotions, moods, behavior, self-image, and relationships. BPD is fairly common, and it's even more common for "borderline-y tendencies" to show up in our lives. On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore what to do when these tendencies show up, how to cultivate a healthy balance of sensitivity and tolerance to distress, regulating and nurturing ourselves, and how to navigate relationships with others when they exhibit borderline tendencies.

    As a disclaimer, formal diagnosis of any condition should be done with a medical professional working directly with the person in question. This podcast episode is not a substitute for that.

    Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    2:00: What are "borderline tendencies"?

    6:50: 9 Symptoms of BPD

    9:10: The what, why, and how of mental health

    11:25: Childhood influences on borderline tendencies

    15:05: Instability, impulsivity, and the drive for reassurance

    25:00: Recognizing varying degrees of borderline patterns

    27:00: Practical tips–regulation and nurturance

    32:50: Boundaries, and avoiding spiraling

    37:50: Acceptance, and the desire for change

    40:35: Sensitivity and distress tolerance

    45:00: What to do when you notice borderline tendencies in a relationship

    51:00: Recognizing how much someone's nature is going to change

    53:35: Treatability

    54:50: Recap

    Rick's Grief and Loss Workshop: We all face losses in life, from separation and disappointment to shocking, even traumatic events. Join Rick August 13 and 14 for 7 hours of LIVE, online teaching focused on learning simple, powerful practices that help us come to terms with them, heal, and find happiness again. Use coupon code BeingWell50 at checkout for an additional $50 off the registration price.

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors:

    Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Visit bombas.com/beingwell and use code beingwell for 20% off.

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

    Ready to shake up your protein Ritual? Being Well listeners get 10% off during your first 3 months at ritual.com/WELL.

    Connect with the show:

    Subscribe on iTunesFollow Forrest on YouTubeFollow us on InstagramFollow Forrest on InstagramFollow Rick on FacebookFollow Forrest on FacebookVisit Forrest's website