Episodes
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Twentysomethings are bombarded with misinformation, hype, and contradictory messages that pull them in many different directions. Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins Forrest to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives. They discuss the biggest misunderstandings about our 20s, balancing having fun with setting yourself up for the future, and common mental health issues. Topics include the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, creating a strong self-concept and building identity capital, dealing with burnout, strengthening our relationships, and more.
About our Guest: Dr. Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia, and is the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Defining Decade and her new book The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: The biggest misunderstanding about life in your 20s
4:55: Uncertainty, and becoming confident in our abilities
8:30: Nihilism about the current state of the world
14:50: Self-diagnosis, social media, and over medication
23:25: The “strength of weak ties”
27:20: Self-concept and identity capital
30:30: What helps people take action
34:15: Navigating avoidance and anxiety
41:55: Finding evidence that you’re capable of being loved
46:35: What to do you when you feel stuck
49:20: How to choose purpose
58:55: Advice to people who feel like they messed up their 20s
1:04:45: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
What do dissociation, avoidance, and emotional shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of our favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the freeze response in detail.
They talk about what stress responses are, how they impact our behavior, and why different people tend to default to different coping strategies. Forrest explains what freezing looks like in practice, and why the freeze response can be particularly difficult to navigate. Dr. Rick then shares a number of helpful strategies for working with the freeze response, including strengthening self-confidence, and the feeling of ourselves as someone who can create safety. Towards the end of the episode they discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: Understanding stress responses
9:05: Stress responses in relationship
15:25: Why it's hard to see that you're freezing
19:05: Dissociation, and what freezing looks like in practice
23:55: Steps of moving through dissociation
30:05: Self-awareness, ‘global’ conditioning, and unconditional positive regard
38:10: How Rick would work with someone who freezes: a hypothetical case study
53:45: Seeing yourself as a source of safety
1:02:55: Recap
Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Missing episodes?
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Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on how we can work with irrational fears, create separation from our thoughts and feelings, and set healthy boundaries in dysfunctional families. Rick then goes off on the topic of “evidence-based” vs. “not evidence-based” approaches to therapy, leading to an interesting conversation about research, statistical significance, and what makes for good therapy. We think you’ll enjoy this one, thanks for listening!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: How can I respond to fears I know are irrational?
11:05: How can I disidentify from my thoughts?
21:35: How do I set healthy boundaries in a dysfunctional family system?
39:25: Are “not evidence-based” therapeutic approaches such as IFS or somatic therapy inferior to “evidence-based” approaches like CBT?
55:20: My relationship is full of conflict, and I’m considering divorce. How should I think this through?
1:05:10: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Soonsors
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
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Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Our 20s are a unique decade filled with opportunity…including the opportunity to make a lot of mistakes. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest share (roughly) 10 things they wish they’d known back then. They explore the balance of enjoying freedom with the compounding value of effort, a framework for finding meaning and purpose, and some of the common pitfalls that keep us stuck. Regardless of where you are in life, you’ll learn how to find and embrace your natural talents, appreciate meaningful relationships, and see things in a new light.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: The importance of the choices you make in your 20s
4:45: Balance the freedom of youth with the value of action
8:00: Embrace mentorship
13:40: Find the Three Circles: Talent, Enjoyment, and Values
21:30: Try things, and let yourself change
24:20: Avoid getting stuck (and codependent relationships)
27:35: Identify useful feedback
31:00: Avoid swerving away from natural talents, kindred spirits, good advice, and failure
36:05: The intrinsic value of creating, and lightening up about results
38:25: Focus on where you have agency
44:45: Appreciate relationships based on shared values
46:55: You get to decide what your relationships look like
47:50: Showing appreciation for your younger self
49:50: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Common features of self-abandonment
12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen
16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism
21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others
33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity
40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense
50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness
55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs
58:50: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
There are as many ways to have a difficult relationship with food as there are ways to eat. It’s hard to get conversations about these challenges right, but today we’re taking the plunge and exploring the habit of eating when we’re not hungry with psychiatrist Dr. Jud Brewer.
Dr. Rick, Forrest, and Dr. Jud start by discussing our often flawed approach to conversations about eating patterns, shame spirals, and the many problems with diets. They then move the conversation from what we eat to how we eat, applying Dr. Jud’s work on habits and craving to the challenge of emotional eating. Specific topics include the neuroscience behind how our hunger cues and emotional cues get mixed up, common habit loops related to food, reward value and the importance of creating a prediction error, the nature of craving as wanting without liking, mindfulness-based tools, and how we can create a bigger, better offer for our brains.
About our Guest: Dr. Jud Brewer is a psychiatrist, the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, a professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, and a research affiliate at MIT. He’s also the bestselling author of a number of books, including The Craving Mind, Unwinding Anxiety, and his most recent book The Hunger Habit.
Disclaimer: If you struggle with a serious restrictive eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia nervosa, the material in this conversation will not support your needs. Please consider working with your doctor or mental health clinician, or using the free resources at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. If you need immediate help, call the ANAD hotline at 1-888-375-7767.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and disclaimer
2:40: The surprising finding from Jud’s smoking cessation program
6:05: What Jud’s new book is not about, and information vs. behavior
11:05: The mental health impact of dieting, and the problem with willpower
18:05: Hedonic hunger, and food-mood wiring
24:15: Bringing awareness to how we eat, and our cultural conditioning
31:50: Developing freedom of choice, and the MBSR raisin exercise
36:20: A walkthrough of mindful eating
44:25: When you don't want to let go of a behavior, and finding the bigger better offer
52:50: Kindness, curiosity, and other tools for improving interoception
57:00: Ways to find the bigger better offer
1:07:45: Caring for our future self
1:11:30: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
One of the most important skills we can learn is how to regulate ourselves, riding the emotional waves without either ignoring or being overwhelmed by them. Associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can feel our feelings while staying calm, collected, and in control. They walk through two examples of under- and over-regulation, and Elizabeth offers specific practices that might help in each common situation.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Creating safety and connection with a new client
6:30: Therapy as an opportunity for reparative experiences
9:45: Learning to regulate when you have traumatized parts
16:55: What’s helped Elizabeth heal patterns of overregulation and dissociation
23:50: A hypothetical dialogue with an overregulated client
29:10: Titration and traumatic release
33:05: Labeling and accepting emotions, and empowering the “wise adult”
40:15: A hypothetical dialogue with an underregulated client
46:30: Celebrating when we notice our patterns
49:30: Movement, tapping, tremoring, journaling, and other practices
53:55: Finding a supportive community
57:10: Being with your body, and following your curiosity
58:55: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Start each day right with IQBAR’s brain-and-body-boosting bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Our relationships are some of the most important parts of our life, and our happiness is often directly correlated to the strength of those relationships. Dr. Joy Harden Bradford joins the podcast to explore how we can apply lessons from group therapy to build stronger friendships. Forrest and Dr. Joy focus on how we can build the trust necessary for vulnerability, how attachment issues show up in friendships, and the common friend roles you might be placing yourself into without realizing it.
About our Guest: Dr. Joy is a Licensed Psychologist based out of Atlanta, Georgia, the host of the wildly popular podcast Therapy for Black Girls – which has more than 34 million downloads - and the author of the recently released book Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: What group therapy is like, and some its unique advantages
5:50: Creating a safe container for vulnerability
11:50: Trust, loyalty, respect, and gender dynamics
19:55: Attachment patterns in friendships
25:50: The Wallflower, the Leader, the Peacemaker, and the Firecracker
33:30: Navigating social circles with differing levels of openness to change
36:35: Challenges identifying, accepting, and expressing our needs
41:40: Specific challenges for black women in getting needs met
46:15: How stigma around therapy has changed over time
48:55: Curiosity, and guidelines for global sisterhood
52:00: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
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Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
ADHD is one of the most common - and most misunderstood - conditions out there, and today we’re setting the record straight with author and YouTuber Jessica McCabe. Jessica joins Forrest to explore her journey with ADHD, dealing with common challenges like self-criticism, shame, and sensitivity, and how we can work with our unique brain, not against it.
About our Guest: Jessica McCabe is the creator of the popular YouTube channel How to ADHD and author of the new book How to ADHD: An Insider’s Guide to Working with Your Brain, Not Against It.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: Jessica’s history with ADHD, and how she wrote her book
7:15: Stigma, pride, self-criticism, and letting others help you
12:05: Dealing with shame
14:55: Self-advocacy, self-acceptance, and asking the right questions
24:40: Believing in your experience
27:45: Common misconceptions about ADHD
31:40: The relationship between ADHD and emotional sensitivity and regulation
36:05: Creating a sense of community
39:25: Advice for partners, family, and friends of people with ADHD
47:25: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on the secret to everyday happiness: learning how to like without wanting. They talk about the lies our brain tells us, the rapid movement from liking to wanting, and how we can enjoy an experience without craving more of it. They then explore a specific example of getting captured by the brain’s “inner ad agency,” and what we can do to stay in the present, meet key needs, and see the whole of our experience without getting trapped by any one part. You won’t want to miss this one!
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Liking, wanting, and healthy desire
11:30: The story craving tells us
15:00: Inhibition and “prudishness” around liking
21:15: “21st century problems”
25:35: A personal example of getting trapped by desire
29:05: Meeting your legitimate needs, somatic cues, and inner freedom
35:20: The search for the slightly better experience
42:25: The brain’s prediction errors, and longing for what is already here
47:50: The ability to zoom out and see the full spectrum of our experience
59:25: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important skills we can learn: how we can become more aware of all the parts of our experience, avoid being captured by any one of them, and work with those parts more skillfully. One of the key tools we have for accomplishing this is vedanā, or the “feeling tone” of our experience. Author and meditation teacher Dr. Danny Penman joins the show to explore the role of vedanā, how we can help our brain interpret the world more accurately, and practical tools for relaxing suffering and enjoying life.
About our Guest: Danny Penman is a meditation teacher, an award-winning writer and journalist, and the co-author of the classic Mindfulness with Dr. Mark Williams. Dr. Williams was one of the original creators of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). Mark and Danny are back with the new book Deeper Mindfulness: The New Way to Rediscover Calm in a Chaotic World.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: How a major injury started Danny’s professional relationship with mindfulness practice
10:45: Vedanā, and unpacking the different aspects of our experience
18:20: The sensations that precede our thoughts
24:45: How the brain creates a model of reality, and whether that model is accurate
29:40: How an undisciplined relationship with feeling tone creates unnecessary suffering
37:00: Accepting a feeling vs. approving of a situation
44:10: Practical steps to feeling our feelings
48:00: Finding enjoyment in new habits, especially somatically
57:50: Recap
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners. How can we understand and support someone going through a mental health crisis? Is meditation enough to heal trauma? And what can we do about family members that just won’t change? You’ll learn why offering help isn’t always helpful, how to deal with unskillful feedback, and approaches that help with setting and achieving long-term goals.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Question #1 - How can I support a friend who is going through a mental health crisis?
7:10: What’s a “psychotic break,” and being careful with clinical terminology.
12:00: Question #2 - Is it possible to heal trauma through meditation alone?
20:25: Question #3 - How do I start again when I’ve fallen off the wagon?
27:30: Question #4 - Is feedback necessary for growth? And what kind of feedback is helpful?
33:10: Question #5 - How can I improve my relationship with money?
42:20: Question #6 - I’m very frustrated with a family member who just won’t change their bad behavior. What can I do?
54:05: Recap
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
Follow Forrest on YouTube
Follow us on Instagram
Follow Forrest on Instagram
Follow Rick on Facebook
Follow Forrest on Facebook
Visit Forrest's website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Richard Schwartz, creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, to explore how we can integrate all the aspects of who we are. They explain the IFS model, the nature of parts and their roles, and how we can use this knowledge to increase self-awareness and deal with common problems. Then Rick and Dr. Schwartz dive deep into the nature of the “Self,” where it comes from, and how we can tune into and strengthen it.
This was a wide-ranging conversation, and we were thrilled to have Dr. Schwartz on the podcast again. You won’t want to miss this one.
About our Guest: Dr. Richard “Dick” Schwartz is the creator of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy, and has authored a number of books and over fifty articles focused on IFS. His newest book is No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model.
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Quick explanation of the IFS Model
6:45: Releasing the “Self”
11:10: Where does the Self come from?
16:00: How the practical side of IFS connects to the spiritual
23:20: The four goals of IFS, and parts of parts
26:15: Becoming your own attachment figure
32:15: Richard’s experience integrating his exiled parts
37:25: Personification in IFS. Why think in terms of “parts”?
46:15: Why befriend our “bad” parts?
49:55: The non-pathologizing nature of IFS in a clinical framework
55:25: First and second darts
57:15: Identifying parts with curiosity, courage, and physical awareness
1:03:25: How asking yourself questions gets you in touch with your intuition
1:12:45: Recap
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
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Follow Forrest on Instagram
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Dr. Mariel Buqué joins the podcast to help us learn how we can heal from the past, create healthier patterns, and break cycles of trauma. Forrest and Dr. Buqué talk about what intergenerational trauma is, how we can “hand trauma down,” and how these problematic patterns show up in the real world. They focus on what helps someone take the first steps, the key role of insight, and moving from insight to action. Along the way, Dr. Buqué shares the powerful tools that help people resource themselves to do the hard work of breaking intergenerational patterns.
About our Guest: Dr. Mariel Buqué received her doctorate in counseling psychology from Columbia University, and her work has been featured on major media outlets like The Today Show and Good Morning America. She’s the author of the new book Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma, and host of the podcast by the same name.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:15: What drew Mariel to this work
10:25: How Mariel thinks about intergenerational trauma
17:00: Common patterns of her clients
20:00: Most people’s initial motivation to find healing
24:45: Courage and vulnerability with the people in our family systems
33:20: Grounding, excavating the family tree, finding healthy alternative patterns
39:40: Practices for stimulating the ventral vagal nerve
44:05: Finding a way in to healing that is accessible to you
47:40: Creating an intergenerational trauma tree
55:00: Finding steadiness when the emotional floodgates open
58:00: The shortcomings of the western medical outlook
1:00:45: Integration, and creating a short buffer between stimulus and response
1:06:15: Values and healthy pride
1:08:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
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Dr. Rick and Forrest kick off 2024 by exploring how we can relate to the past, plan for the future, and get more from the year ahead. They talk about different approaches to New Years, the tactics that maximize your chances of achieving a goal, and a simple four question system for reflecting on and learning from the year that was. You'll learn how to create useful resolutions, put 2023 into perspective, and set yourself up for success in the year to come!
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:05: Rick's approach to New Year’s resolutions
4:05: Going from being to doing to having
10:15: Four questions to ask yourself around the New Year
22:00: A S.M.A.R.T. way to put New Year’s resolutions into form
25:45: Bottom-up intentions, and the feeling of a completed intention
29:15: Trying different somatic cues for embodying an intention
32:00: Finding your allies, not oversharing your goals, and physically declaring priorities
40:45: Getting on your own side
51:40: Recap
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
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Forrest and Elizabeth welcome listeners into their home to talk about their changing relationship with the holidays, letting go of the past, healthy boundaries, glimmers, and different paths to taking in the good. Along the way they talk about different approaches to working with trauma, connecting with the body, and getting on our own side.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Elizabeth’s history with the holidays, and claiming your own rituals
5:20: Experiencing the holidays without an agenda
10:15: Glimmers in Polyvagal Theory
14:10: Working with a challenging relationship history
21:35: Somatic psychology, and respecting the mind
28:40: Regulating through movement
31:55: Staying yourself inside of your family
38:45: Enjoying agency, and emphasizing beauty
42:30: Entrapment and defeat, awareness, and saying no
47:15: Attachment, contracting around desire, and taking a moment for yourself
51:20: A practice of finding glimmers
55:35: Self-compassion and camaraderie during the holidays
Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
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Dr. Rick joins Forrest for a deep dive into harnessing our natural generativity. How can we become more productive and creative, experience greater satisfaction, and lean into our biological drives to get more of what we want out of life?
They explore what a drive is, our natural drive states, and what we can learn from models of motivation like self-determination theory, before moving on to what we can do if generativity doesn’t come naturally to us. Rick and Forrest share how we can lean into enjoyable experiences, feel more competent and autonomous, and learn to brave experiences of failure. The second half of the episode focuses on psychological tools that help us activate, enjoy, and hang out in generative states more often.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:10: Rick's ability to stay generative.
3:25: Motivation, aggression, and our interdependence with others
12:10: A theoretical framework for generative drive
14:50: The process of making something as a form of healing
19:30: Confidence, autonomy, and relatedness
23:55: The way we think of ourselves
28:10: Agency, and what we can and cannot influence
34:30: Comfort with aggression
40:55: Work ethic, the role of passion and enjoyment, and finding your why
47:45: Competency and flow
50:55: Having positive associations with effort
57:10: Enriching vs. absorbing our experience
1:01:30: The little things that make a big difference
1:04:30: Recap
Sponsors:
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
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We’re getting toward the end of the year, and it’s a great opportunity to evaluate where we are and where we’d like to go. On today's episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can step out of the way we've been, and into a new way of thinking, doing, and being.
They talk about self-concept, unconscious beliefs, and how those beliefs affect our behavior. Forrest then shares a model of what this kind of change tends to look like practically, which usually includes relax our attachment to the things that are holding us back. Other topics include getting down to "the tip of the root," taking a step back from our narratives, challenging limiting beliefs, taking life less personally, working with discouragement, and finding motivation and drive.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Register for Rick’s Yearly Program! The Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like compassion, mindfulness, confidence, motivation, and courage. It’s Rick’s flagship program, and if you like Being Well you’ll probably love it. Visit FWBProgram.com to learn more, and get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: Self-concept, how unconscious beliefs affect behavior, and freedom
5:40: Appraisals and attributions
9:35: The way we spin our self-narrative, and holding onto grievances
14:25: Being honest with ourselves when we feel stuck
19:30: Changing behavior before changing thinking
25:15: Values and behaviors
29:05: Underlying fears and practical confusion
33:50: Taking your experiences less personally
36:05: Finding the motivation to get our hands dirty
41:30: Negativity bias and appreciative inquiry
47:45: First steps when you’re feeling discouraged
56:55: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Connect with the show:
Subscribe on iTunes
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Just as we can exercise our arms or legs to build physical strength, we can exercise our brains like we do any other muscle. Therapist Amy Morin joins Forrest to help us learn how to regulate our thoughts, manage our emotions, and become more psychologically flexible. These key skills are particularly important for building a healthy relationship. Forrest and Amy explore how couples can work together to identify their issues, deal with effort imbalances, and avoid common mistakes (like having, get this, not enough conflict).
About our Guest: Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, bestselling author, and the host of the Mentally Stronger podcast.Her most recent book is 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do, out on December 26th.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Amy’s personal background, and how she got to the idea of mental strengths
7:30: Self-compassion vs. self-pity
11:05: Not giving away your power
14:50: Diagnosing root problems in relationships
18:25: When one frustration brings up all your other frustrations
22:25: The inevitability of conflict, and the vulnerability in expressing remorse
27:35: Setting the ground rules for a therapeutic conversation
31:05: When it feels like your partner isn’t invested in making changes
34:50: Learning to deconstruct reactive thoughts and misguided perceptions
38:30: Taking your thoughts with a grain of salt, and asking ‘what else might be true?’
41:20: Scorekeeping vs. negotiating, and finding ways to meet our own needs
45:40: Giving our partner what we actually want for ourselves
49:00: Balancing desires for closeness and distance
51:15: Not being a martyr or ‘controlling through giving’
55:30: Boundaries between partners, and how our backgrounds influence our preferences
1:00:35: Developing psychological flexibility
1:03:40: Recap
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors:
Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Connect with the show:
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What can I do if my partner dominates conversations about our relationship? How can I navigate situations where I want to repair, but other people don’t? What’s a “highly sensitive person,” and how does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism? In this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners.
If you’d like to have a question answered on the podcast, you can join us on Patreon or send it in to [email protected].
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: What can I do when my partner dominates relationship conversations, but also complains about me “interrupting?”
12:45: How can you repair with family members…when they don’t want to repair?
22:55: Why do intrusive thoughts arise late at night? How can we address them?
28:00: I give to a fault in my relationships. What can I do?
34:10: How do you work with the tendency to be overly competitive?
40:45: What do you think about the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) “diagnosis?” How does it relate to conditions like complex PTSD, ADHD, and autism?
55:15: Recap
Sponsors:
Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.
Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Connect with the show:
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