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Feeling the pressure to be cheerful this Christmas? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive into the real holiday struggles—like the relentless expectation to sparkle, the stress of over-productivity, grief, and navigating complicated family dynamics.
Join me as we unpack why it’s okay not to feel cheerful all the time, explore practical ways to let go of perfection, and find connection and meaning in the midst of the festive chaos.
Whether you’re untangling lights or just looking for a calmer, more authentic Christmas, this episode is your invitation to celebrate the season your way.
🎧 Tune in now and let’s make this Christmas a little more real, together.
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Depression can affect your life, but it doesn't have to define it. With understanding, and the right strategies, it is possible to find joy and fulfilment again.
The top 3 causes of depressionCan being rejected make you depressed?What happens in the body and brain in depressionHow to pull yourself out of depression
In today's episode:Citations
Some ideas here were inspired by a Nicabm training on working with shame. You can buy your full training programme here.
From Gen Alpha to boomers, we asked 6 therapists what each generation is talking about in therapyHere's another podcast for you: How do you Heal SHAME?
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Shelley helps you to understand the causes of overthinking and how to relax your mind. This podcast explores signs of overthinking and offers strategies to deal with it.
Becoming aware of overthinkingMental, physical and emotional symptoms of overthinking. Breaking the belief that overthinking is productive.3 ways that you can challenge overthinking; taking a practical approach, a physiological approach, or an experiential approach.2 exercises that shift your nervous system. Underlying causes of overthinking.The role of the left and the right brain in overthinking.
In this podcast:Here’s another podcast for you: 10 Ways to Overcome Anxiety
Citations
2013 study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology.2Michl LC, McLaughlin KA, Shepherd K, Nolen-Hoeksema S. Rumination as a mechanism linking stressful life events to symptoms of depression and anxiety: longitudinal evidence in early adolescents and adults. J Abnorm Psychol. 2013;122(2):339-352. doi:10.1037/a0031994
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Today's episode is a deeply personal exploration of pet loss and its emotional toll. Join me as we navigate the intricate layers of grief, eating for comfort, and finding ways to feel better after losing a pet. Let's embark on this heartfelt exploration together.
Add your beloved pet to this post
To receive my blog post about how I took back control of my eating, get your Comfort Eating Recovery Starter Kit (below).
Here’s another podcast you will love:
Reset your Autonomic Nervous System - for Anxiety or Depression
Citations
‘Never Just a Cat’ - Gregory Richard BardenSupport the show
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It's normal for most of us to struggle with procrastination. But if you started a diet or exercise regime in the New Year and now struggle to keep it going, it might be because you didn't understand what was going on for you. There are reasons for procrastination and it can be stopped! In today's podcast, I'm going to show you how 'failing' can help you.
We'll look at:
Why you lose control and how to regain itThe origins of self-control in your brainRecognising how stress, tiredness, and distraction stop you taking controlRetraining your brain to take actionI'll also share my experiences with impulse buying & how I stop myselfWe'll discuss the small steps that add up to a big change.
Citations
Kelly McGonigal - The Willpower Instinct
Another podcast for you: 10 Ways to Overcome AnxietySupport the show
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Nurturing yourself through the pressures of Christmas. Part of the reason we eat so much at Christmas is that it's so easy to do it. Our whole culture makes it easy for us to do so. However, there are many traditions and habits associated with Christmas that can create pressure and obligations. One way to control your eating during Christmas is to politely decline food that you don't really want.
This is the second of my Christmas podcasts, where I talk about the pressures of Christmas, and guide you through the challenges of festive eating. I also share personal experiences and emphasise the importance of making conscious choices to take care of yourself during this time.
11.24 - To end the episode, I tell a heart-warming Christmas story: 'What Happened Christmas Eve' by Oliver Herfold.
Another related podcast: How do I Stop Self-Criticism?Get your Christmas Comfort Eating Recovery Checklist here
Citations
The Night Before ChristmasSupport the show
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Welcome to the first of three Christmas podcasts, where I talk about the different feelings we have during the holiday season. Today, I focus on how it can be hard to deal with loss during Christmas. It can be tough if someone you love isn't there, if you had a difficult relationship, or if you just feel sad during this time of year. I want to support you and give you permission to feel your grief.
I'll share stories, talk about love and grief, offer tips for taking care of yourself during the holidays, and I'll end with a moving and meaningful Dickensian Christmas story. So, get cosy, find a quiet place, and let's attend to how we can heal.
CitationsCoping with Memories of Grief and Loss at Christmas - Lyn Reed
https://welldoing.org/article/coping-with-memories-grief-loss-christmas
‘It’s Ok that you’re not OK” - Megan Devine
Charles Dickens ' What Christmas is as we Grow Older'
http://www.free-short-stories.org.uk/charles-dickens-what-christmas-is-as-we-grow-older.htm
Another podcast you may like: Whiskers & Tears - Healing From Pet BereavementSupport the show
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One of the biggest reasons people seek support from me is the fear of passing on their habits to their children. According to statistics, children and young people are using food to cope with mental health issues, more than ever before. In this week's podcast, I talk about 5 ways you can help the young person in your care.
Your next podcast: How do I Stop Self-Criticism?
CitationsOffice for Health and Disparities. Public Health Data. Obesity Profile: https://fingertips.phe.org.uk/profile/national-child-measurement-programme
The Guardian. Young people overeating as they battle lockdown anxiety, says UK study: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jul/12/young-people-overeating-as-they-battle-lockdown-anxiety-says-uk-study
Mind: Facts and figures about young people and mental health: https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/our-strategy/doing-more-for-young-people/facts-and-figures-about-young-people-and-mental-health/
NHS: https://www.england.nhs.uk/2022/03/nhs-treating-record-number-of-young-people-for-eating-disorders/
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“Today I talk about the biggest mistakes I made when trying to stop comfort eating and lose weight. I now advise against being too hard on yourself and going on strict diet. “
Shelley says it's really important to be kind to yourself and have self-compassion when trying to recover. She also thinks it's helpful to pay attention to your senses while eating, and be aware of how you feel when you’re choosing what to eat.Shelley has created a 'Comfort Eating Recovery Starter Kit' with useful resources for people who want help. Get your starter kit here.
Your next podcast: How to Stop ProcrastinatingSupport the show
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Do you worry too much about what others think of you? This can lead to overeating for comfort. Today, I talk about trying to be perfect and how it can have bad effects, like causing overeating, stress, and feeling really sad. I point out that perfectionists have unrealistic expectations for themselves and explain why. I suggest building up your own self-esteem and judging yourself in a reasonable way.
You might like this podcast next: How do I Stop Self-Criticism?
What is eldest daughter syndrome? https://www.stylist.co.uk/relationships/family-friends/eldest-daughter-syndrome-perfectionist/834442Behav Ther. 2020 May;51(3):488-502.doi: 10.1016/j.beth.2019.09.002. Epub 2019 Sep 12. A Neuropsychological Investigation of Perfectionism Anthony Robinson 1 , Amitai Abramovitch 2 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32402263/Behaviour Research and Therapy Volume 40, Issue 7, July 2002, Pages 773-791 Clinical perfectionism: a cognitive–behavioural analysis. Author links open overlay panel Roz Shafran Christopher G. Fairburn https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005796701000596Working with Perfectionism. Nicabm. https://www.nicabm.com/topic/perfectionism/
CitationsSupport the show
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Today I talk about money and how our thoughts about money affect us. I mention money problems from the past and ask questions to help you think about your own money beliefs and influences. I conclude that it's important to take care of yourself on the inside. I also talk about overeating on holiday.
Citations
The Money Panel
The Soul of Money 'Reclaiming the Wealth of Our Inner Resources' - Lynne Twist
Another podcast to try: Reset Your Autonomic Nervous System - for Anxiety or DepressionSupport the show
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In this podcast, I talk about how having good relationships can make you feel happy. I also discuss the importance of setting boundaries when you interact with others. The podcast explains how bonding, trust, and connection affect your brain. I also share stories about dealing with feeling anxious or being rejected by others. Throughout the podcast, you are encouraged to be kind to yourself.
Citations
The Joy of Movement: How Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage, by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D.
Priya Parker
Your next episode: How Do I Stop Self-Criticism?Support the show
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Today, learn how your brain tricks you into avoiding exercise and why it's crucial to overcome this instinct. Understand the neuroscience of movement, uncover the surprising benefits of any form of physical activity, and explore strategies to make exercise enjoyable again. From childhood fears to unexpected swimming adventures, I share personal stories that will inspire you to break free from your exercise limitations.
CitationsThe Joy of Movement: How Exercise Helps Us Find Happiness, Hope, Connection, and Courage, by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D.
Your next podcast: How to Stop ProcrastinatingSupport the show
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Today, we begin by addressing the common issue of self-disgust. I encourage listeners to challenge negative self-talk. I then dive into the topic of seasonal stress, highlighting signs of troublesome stress levels. The podcast provides practical methods to nurture self-compassion and well-being.
Another podcast for you: How do I Stop Self-Criticism?Support the show
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Today, we explore strategies for coping with the sudden shift into Autumn or Fall. Shelley shares her personal journey and how she prepared for a radio show aimed at helping people to embrace autumn. She delves into the concept of disappointment, encouraging listeners to challenge their thoughts and reframe their expectations. The episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for navigating the emotional challenges of the autumn transition.
Another podcast episode for you: How do I Stop Self-Criticism?Support the show
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Today, Shelley explains the stress cycle associated with evening binge-eating. She lists recognisable signs of a stress state. Describing physiological responses to stress, she details how fight, flight, or freeze responses manifest. Listeners are guided to assess their own stress states by checking various physical and emotional markers, including breathing patterns, body tension, and irritability. Shelley explains what a panic attack is. emphasizes the importance of self-compassion in facilitating change.
Shelley also invites listeners to join her community for resources to help you overcome comfort eating and emotional struggles.
Your next podcast: Reset Your Autonomic Nervous System - for Anxiety or Depression!Announcement!
Change in podcast scheduling! Podcasts will now be released on Thursdays.Support the show
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Today, we explore the relationship between having a busy life, anxiety, and comfort eating. We delve into the reasons why people work so hard, naming potential triggers; addiction to productivity, fear of stopping, the desire to please others, or anxiety. The podcast highlights how these contribute to distress, which can lead to comfort eating after the day's work is done. Shelley emphasises understanding and addressing the emotional roots of these behaviours, and offers insights on coping with worry and anxiety.
Shelley also invites listeners to join her community for resources to help you overcome comfort eating and emotional struggles.
Citations
Some ideas here were inspired by a Nicabm training on working with anxiety. You can buy your full training programme here
Try this podcast next: 10 Ways to Overcome AnxietySupport the show
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Today, Shelley explores the most common time we overeat; in the evening. Drawing from her expertise in helping people recover from emotional eating, Shelley discusses why we overeat in the evening. She explores hunger, habit, lack of preparation, and emotional responses to daily stress.
Focus: Recovery from emotional overeatingSeries: Exploring evening eating habits
Shelley offers a four-step process for breaking this pattern, encompassing observation of thoughts, habits, emotional states, and the purpose of binge-eating.
This episode concludes with a recap of the steps and an invitation to embrace a journey of self-discovery and transformation.Announcement: Podcast release schedule: Shifting to Thursdays.
Your next podcast: How to Stop Procrastinating
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In this episode, we explore 6 strategies to recover from emotional eating, focusing on the journey to rediscovering life in its fullness. Our aim is to provide valuable insights into the recovery process and offer six life-changing options for those seeking to break free from addictive behaviours.
Not sure your eating IS emotional?
- If you want to uncover the emotion behind your eating, here's a short course for you: https://underground-confidence.passion.io
Another podcast mentioned in this episode: 10 Ways to Overcome Anxiety
Citations
'In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts' - Gabor Maté
‘The Mindfulness Based Eating Solution’ - Lynn Rossy Phd
Sue Howell
Katherine Cooper
Rachel EvansSupport the show
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The focus here is on the effect of stress on the brain and its role in addiction, particularly comfort eating. Shelley starts by discussing how stress alters the brain, making certain behaviours or substances more appealing. She highlights the link between stress and addiction, explaining that stress addiction can be challenging to overcome.
Shelley shares insights from Gabor Maté's book, emphasizing that addictions often originate from painful experiences. She delves into the significance of early emotional development and attachment in determining susceptibility to addiction. The episode concludes with a self-regulation exercise to cope with stress-induced eating behaviours.
Shelley encourages listeners to explore the emotional aspects of addiction and offers support through her social media platforms and support group. The podcast format will be changing slightly, with three episodes per month and a week off. Next week, Shelley will discuss how to resource around addiction.
Another podcast you might like: Reset your Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) - for Anxiety or Depression
Citations
'In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts' - Gabor Maté
‘Risk and Reward Are Processed Differently in Decisions Made Under Stress’ - Mara Mather and Nichole R. Lighthall https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0963721411429452
‘How does stress affect the brain?’ - Maria Cohut, Ph.D. in Medical News Today
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323445#The-stress-hormone-affects-memory
'How do I stop stress eating?’ - Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD — By Nicole Galan https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320935
If you haven’t already, please give us a quick review and rating on Apple Podcasts!Support the show
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