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I am joined by Michele Moliter, founder and CEO of Nectar Consulting. Michele is widely recognized for her expertise in helping high achieving professionals elevate their confidence and self-worth, leading to greater success in their careers.
As a nationally acclaimed speaker, certified executive coach, and co-author of the best-selling book "Breakthrough Healing," Michele has earned the endearing nickname of the "Mind Detective" from her clients. Her exceptional ability to uncover and address underlying challenges sets her apart in the field.
During our conversation, Michele unveils an incredible tool that revolutionizes communication dynamics between work colleagues and romantic partners. But here's the twist—she puts this tool to the test by analyzing the results of a quiz taken by yours truly. And that's not all! Michele has generously prepared a special code for you to personally experience the power of this tool at dignify.com
Discussed in this episode:
Michele discusses her book "Breakthrough Healing" and how she utilizes RTT hypnotherapy as a rapid rewiring technique for the entire brain (2:35).How Michele's personal experience of being bullied out of her corporate job destroyed her confidence and led to the development of physical ailments (8:50).Your mid-life crisis can be viewed as your spiritual awakening. According to Michele, your greatest source of pain can transform into your greatest source of power and purpose (13:00).Learning to say NO with grace and grit (17:20)The dignify tool assists in identifying your intrinsic motivators, including your top 5 dignity traits and your 3 Do's and Don'ts. It serves as a roadmap for understanding how to treat others with dignity and be treated in the same way (20:45).Discover the 5 archetypes of self-doubt and determine which one resonates with you (26:30).Exploring the top 5 results of the test on dignify.com and gaining a deeper understanding of the stressed states of our traits (28:30).Connect with Michele:
https://michelemolitor.com/Take the Dignify Snapshot – use the code NECTAR-L915Michele’s websitehttps://michelemolitor.com/self-doubt-archetype-survey/References:
Joe Kiedinger
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From Yale to Managing Director of a leading tech platform: My guest, Hala Siraj, shares her story and insights on the joys and challenges of being a working mother
in a world that expects "Women to work like they don't have children, and raise children as if they don't work" which is a recipe for Mommy guilt.
Discussed in this episode:
Growing up in a household where both parents worked and had high expectations for their daughter's career (2:00)The importance of having a support system when balancing motherhood and career, and letting go of the need to be perfect (5:30)Overcoming the struggle for perfection by using the "different people in the front seat of the car" analogy (11:15)Finding comfort in knowing that other successful women also struggle (14:30)Being a role model for her daughters and finding purpose in her work (16:45)Opinions on co-parenting and the challenges of balancing responsibilities (19:00)Experiencing guilt and pressure to fulfill the expectation of being a "perfect" mother, can cause Hala to stay up all night after missing a playdate to exercise (21:40)How Hala's previous job in investment banking prepared her for her current role (25:45)Dealing with doubts and stereotypes as a young female managing director (30:30)Connect with Hala:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/halagrams/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y%3D
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hala-s-273a1737/
Email: [email protected]
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Join me for an insightful conversation on personal growth and wellness as I talk with my guest Rikimah Glymph. She is a writer, mentor, and advocate for equal rights and opportunity and her passion for challenging people to think outside of their comfort zones has led her to create innovative solutions necessary for actionable change. In her book, "Total Wellness: A Millennial & Gen Z Guide to Living a More Balanced Life," Rikimah highlights the concerning trend of younger generations becoming ill earlier than the previous generation and emphasizes the importance of practicing self-care.
As the Founder and CEO of BWell365, a wellness brand, Rikimah provides resources and creates spaces for deep reflection and autonomy to drive sustainable and impactful wellness outcomes. Throughout our conversation, Rikimah candidly shares her own struggles with certain aspects of wellness and provides practical tips on how to navigate them. Join us for an enlightening discussion on the importance of total wellness and how we can all achieve a more balanced life.
In this episode:
We delve into the eight pillars of wellness that are crucial for a fulfilling life (6:00)We discuss how a lack of agency can lead to low energy and the ways to cultivate a sense of empowerment (9:25)The alarming trend of millennials and Gen Zs becoming sick earlier than previous generations highlights the importance of making positive changes in our lives (13:25)Rikimah shares how her upbringing in a chaotic and dramatic environment fueled her desire to help young people (18:00)The reasons behind repeating negative patterns and the willingness to lose things in order to break free from them (19:30)Rikimah opens up about her decision to homeschool her son and the benefits it brings to their lives (26:18) How to move away from leading with fear and embrace a more positive approach to life (34:20).References:
Total Wellness: A Millennial & Gen Z Guide to Living a More Balanced Life
Connect with Rikimah:
https://rikimahglymph.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/glymphconsult/?viewAsMember=true
https://www.facebook.com/GlymphConsult
https://bwell365.org/about/
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This year I turn fifty. The BIG 50. Half a century! So I felt it was a good time to talk about seeing it as a blessing rather than a curse of getting older. It takes confidence to age naturally and gracefully these days, when most of the world expect you to use whatever means available to stay young. I share how I feel about the pressures and trolls on social media but mostly about how I maintain feeling young at heart.
Discussed in this episode:
How I feel about turning Fifty in a world that expects you to never age (1:50)Gaining the clarity to know what I want and then continue trying new things that interest me (3:45)How women can't win whether they allow themselves to age or whether they do whatever it takes to look young (6.40)Actress and model Andie MacDowell's healthy attitude about aging (7:05)My beauty care routine to stay youthful, naturally (10:15)Trolls and negative comments on social media (12:20)References:
Four Weddings and a Funeral (movie)
Green Card (movie)
Maid (Netflix series)
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“In the summer of 2021, Hadeel decided it was time for a drastic change after her mental health had deteriorated and her friends had moved on without her. She realized she needed to stop living for other people and start living for herself. We talk about how she was able to overcome her depression, social anxiety, and eating disorder when she began listening to her own body and mind, as well as seeking professional support. Hadeel discovered many tools that continue to help her keep a balance in her life and listening to music is one of them. She is now pursuing an MBA with a focus on Social Innovation and following her passion in radio which is where I first heard her and knew I must have her on my podcast to share her inspirational journey of growth.
Discussed in this episode:
The turning point of Hadeel's life was when her mental health deteriorated and her friends abandoned her (1:47)How self- blame lead to Hadeel's depression and eating disorder (4:55)How to shift your focus to things you can change and let go of matters that are not in your control (6:57)Being alone differs from feeling lonely (14:07)The tools that help Hadeel resist falling back into the trap of societal and familial expectations (17:55)Hadeel shares valuable rules she now lives by (26:25)How music can be healing and helps process your emotions (29:25)A brief exploration of Drill rap music (34:07)Connect with Hadeel:
https://uk.linkedin.com/in/hadeel-marzouq-15b050180
https://www.instagram.com/hmarzouq/
References:
The obstacle is the way
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I discuss why speaking up and standing out can be so hard for so many people. Why is it we feel uncomfortable to even take up space sometimes or someone's precious time to share our thoughts and opinions about even the smallest things? I share how many women and myself chose to keep quiet about experiences of sexual abuse or even make light of it. Find out why we struggle to speak up and the small ways you can find your voice and grow in confidence.
Discussed in this episode:
Why speaking up or standing out can be so scary (1:00)The way that small steps can create large ripples and develop more confidence. I share examples of my own experiences with exercise, music and speaking up about sexual abuse that happened in my past (3:15)I share the reasons why oscar-nominated Actress/Director and writer Sarah Polley (with her film about abuse, WOMEN TALKING) suggests there are different ways we can speak up and explains why she never reported her abuser (10:45)My own story and how I plan on speaking up (15:30)References:
Run towards the danger/ A collection of autobiographical essays by Sarah Polley
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58284103-run-towards-the-danger
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Natasha is a mum, serial entrepreneur, a transformation coach and hypnotherapist who was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and was treated with Cortisone and Neurontin for years until she found a way to reverse her paralysis with Rapid Transformational Therapy. Her mission in life is to inspire, teach and motivate people to take control of their health, businesses and lives. She believes everything is fixable and figureoutable and has created an amazing ten step program which she shares on Breaking Free near the end of the episode.
Discussed in this episode:
Natasha's first flare up of Multiple Sclerosis was misdiagnosed (1:50)How steroids helped the flare ups but had very unpleasant after-effects (8:30)Natasha's world before Multiple Sclerosis (11:00)Paralysis hits for the first time (14:00)Discovering the damage Cortisone and Neurontin was having on Natasha's brain cells (18:30)Rapid Transformational Therapy with Marissa Peer becomes the answer to Natasha healing her flare ups naturally (21:00)Natasha trains in hypnotherapy and heals herself while she is snowed in and paralyzed while alone on holiday (25:10)The power of meditation with Joe Dispenza (28:05)The ten step program to having a healthier life is created (31:00)The power of fasting, sunshine and Ketosis with Dr, Courtney Hunt (37:10)References:
Marissa Peer - Rapid Transformational Therapy
Donna Eden - Energy medicine
Louise Hay - You can Heal Your Life
Dr. Courtney Hunt - Ketosis
Joe Dispenza - meditations
Connect with Natasha:
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natasha-quariab-ba42612b/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenatashaq/
Website: https://www.hypnotherapyme.com/about
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In this episode of the Breaking Free podcast, I explore conflict management and decision-making with special guest Kimberly Best, a highly experienced family mediator, facilitator, and author. Kimberly shares
her wealth of knowledge by offering valuable tools and techniques for effectively dealing with conflicts. She explains why blaming others is a common but ineffective approach and instead focuses on the importance of finding alternative solutions that benefit all parties involved. Additionally, Best provides guidance for making difficult decisions, including end-of-life issues, that you can use in your own lives. With practical advice on managing conflicts at work, with partners, or with children, you're sure to walk away from this episode with a better understanding of how to handle these situations in a constructive and empathetic manner.
Discussed in this episode:
Understanding mediation and how to find resolutions when facing conflict (1:30)Distinctions between Couple Therapy and Mediation (5:00)How blame doesn't help and takes away your power and agency (6:25)Advice from a book by William Ury on how to untangle the People from the Problem in order to find an effective solution (10:30)Parent struggles with teens and how to move forward after the conflict (15:00)Why understanding your own triggers, helps you respond better next time (19:00)Find out your values and understand the values of those close to you (20:38)A way to develop self-awareness in the moment with a keyword that helps you step back and regroup (23:30)Feelings of shame that surface when people are told that they have disappointed others (30.22)Kim's book HOW TO LIVE FOREVER is a guide to writing the final chapter of your life story (31:00)Connect with Kimberly:
Website:https://www.bestconflictsolutions.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberlybestmediator/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/bestconflictsolutions
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/kimberly_a_best/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kimberly_a_best
Book: How to live forever https://amzn.eu/d/61JorTc
References:
William Ury's book: https://www.williamury.com/books/getting-to-yes/
Values test: https://www.viacharacter.org/
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Andy Tsz Chiu Chan is a certified strength & conditioning specialist, educator, and presenter from Hong Kong who has integrated traditional Chinese medicine into his strength training philosophy and shares how harmony between all aspects of life is a prerequisite to optimal health and human performance.
He shares with great transparency, how his own anxiety instigated his research and subsequently the co-writing of the book Dynamic Balance.
So let us start 2023 and the new season of Breaking Free with some valuable tips from Andy on how to feel more confident about your body and your fitness in a harmonious way that is long-lasting.
Discussed in this episode:
Why Andy co-wrote the book Dynamic Balance which incorporates the benefits of traditional Chinese medicine (3:35)How the five Phases (wood, fire, earth, metal) are used by the Chinese to categorize the world because everything is connected (7:25)Trusting your intuition to live according to the rules of Yin-Yang nature and avoiding extremes (10:00)Stepping back before moving forward with goals and using less sauce and salt on your food can create lasting changes (16:40)Should you rest more in the winter or should you push yourself to workout harder ? (27:00)How Andy use to battle with anxiety disorder and overcame it (31:25)Boredom and slowing down will allow you to enjoy your food more and tap into great ideas (38:44)Connect with Andy
Website:https://www.tszchiu.com/
Linkedin:https://www.linkedin.com/in/andy-tsz-chiu-chan-ms-cscs-96996642/
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/tszchiuandy/
The book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60104257-dynamic-balance
References:
"Exercised" by Daniel Lieberman https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/aug/29/exercised-by-daniel-lieberman-review-fitness-myths-exploded
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Happy New year and welcome to season 3 of Breaking Free. It feels amazing to be starting a new season after reaching 50 episodes and I want to thank you for joining me on this podcast journey by listening and sharing the episodes with friends and family. It gives me a lot of joy when I know an episode has resonated with you or inspired you to make a positive change in your life.
Season 2 was all about ways you can increase your confidence through sharing helpful steps you can take towards doing that and changing your mindset. I had great chats with experts and with people who had experienced a positive shift themselves and shared their personal stories.
So for this episode, I thought I would revisit some of them and give you a summary of the topics and discoveries that were made that could be super helpful to start your year with new energy that gets you motivated to create the 2023 for yourself.
Topics discussed in this episode:
How we can all develop confidence by trying new things from episode 28 (1.53)Speaking with confidence by defining what you want first with coach Jon Torrens in episode 30 (3:27)How feeling comfortable with our sexuality is linked to how confident we feel with sexual educator Zina Malas in episode 31 (8:35)Aesthetics director Laura Marshall shares how the use of filters on social media is creating insecurities in young girls in episode 29 entitled Cosmetic confidence (11:25)Money Doctor Nikki Ramskill gives great advice on how to become confident with money by learning how to invest in episode 37 (15:32)How to stop people- pleasing and feel more confident in episode 49 starts with awareness and making small changes (17:45)How Mostafa Salameh followed his heart from being a refugee as a child to climbing mount Everest and becoming an author on episode 46 (21:40)Finding out what a teenager thinks confidence is and how she would describe herself in episode 33 (23:52)How trust in yourself helps your confidence is explained in episode 40 (27:10)How my guest Rania Khoury discovered her true strength was in her ability to be playful and became a medical clown. Episode 35 (32:20)Award winning composer Suad Bushnaq finds her confidence through her skill in music 34 (36:36)Let’s connect!
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This is a juicy episode where I had the chance to ask Gillian Harper about her book 'Feed the Tiger,Free the Dragon' which looks at an energy-fueled system that assists you in creating and maintaining a more powerful, passionate, and fulfilling existence with your partner.
Gillian is an author, speaker, coach, and entrepreneur. Gillian helped build Australia’s number one franchise, served as an executive for a US Inc. 500 business, and has practiced as a finance attorney with an Australian top three firm.
She shares how her own foundation crumbled in her marriage where she almost lost everything because of the blurred boundaries that divide our careers and our home life. The little-known Law of Polarity brought her life back from the brink and she shares all the valuable insights she gained that is now helping others with their own relationships.
Discussed in this episode:
Explaining the natural law of polarity where opposite sexual energy creates a powerful force between people (1:30)Dragons and Tigers are the masculine and feminine energies without the confusion of using gendered terms (3:16)Being aware of what you are feeling so that you can articulate your needs clearly and choose who is best to share with according to the situation (8:25)Examples of how the dragon energy craves freedom and the tiger craves to be seen and loved (13:15)How creating solid foundations in your relationship can save a marriage (15:05)After having children, Gillian craved a different energetic space and the masculine dragon energy no longer served her (18:35)We are brainwashed to think that tiger energy and surrendering is ‘less than’ when in fact it has a different beautiful power versus the doer dragon energy which is encouraged more in society (23:30)How understanding these energies can help in your business to know which one you feel more dominant and confident in. (26:55)Ways you can switch your energy (31.05)How we need to focus on the primary role with our partner which is intimacy (40.07)Connect with Gillian:
https://www.gillianharper.cohttps://www.linkedin.com/in/gillian-harper-5811b142/https://twitter.com/_gillian_harperhttps://www.instagram.com/_gillian_harper/Let’s connect!
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Today’s episode is about an issue that so many people struggle with on a daily basis PEOPLE-PLEASING .
I will discuss how you can know if you do it ? how it effects your confidence and holds you back, and most importantly ….what you can do about it ?
The good news is that you can change and the advantages of changing will definitely outweigh the disadvantages of staying stuck in a cycle where you constantly ignore your own needs and desires in order to please others.
Discussed in this episode:
Why I used to be a people-pleaser and almost donated my kidney to someone I hardly knew (1.05)Signs you are people-pleasing (1.57)How doing things with the intention of getting approval can lead to you feeling resentful (4:30)The negative outcomes of people-pleasing (5:03)Why do so many of us people-please? (6:10)People-pleasing Arabs versus People-pleasing Brits (7:05)from polite to passive aggressive (9:10)How requests are often phrased as attacks (10:15)We are taught to lie about our feelings from a young age (12:18)Reconnect with your desires and inner signals (13:25)Things you can try in order to break the pattern (16:30)How ADHD can ignite something called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria RSD (19:00)References:
https://ahoy-stage.healthline.com/health/people-pleaser
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51205436-unbound
https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/
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I have a very interesting discussion with CEO ,co-founder and visionary of MUSE, Ariel Garten about the amazing brain sensing headband that tracks your brain as you meditate to aid with better sleep and lessen anxiety. We talk about how she managed to raise $18M to found MUSE from Silicon valley investors as well as actor Ashton Kutcher. And how the band is now used by MAYO clinic.
Ariel is an inspiring neuroscientist, innovator and entrepreneur who has been on CNN several times and featured in magazines such as FORBES, FORTUNE, GQ, O Magazine, and she is described by Bloomberg as “an innovator who completely remakes reality”.
Points discussed:
How Ariel's artistic and scientific sides as a former fashion designer and psychotherapist, neuroscientist tied together to create MUSE (1:55)What MUSE does while you meditate (4:15)Raising $18M to found MUSE from Silicon valley investors even though women getting funded in technology can be a challenge (6:28)MUSE helps you understand and observe how your mind works and lessen anxiety (10:07)Creating technology with the intention to help that teaches you how to disengage with stressful technology (15:00)Muse used by Mayo clinic in studies to help women going through breast cancer, pain and burnout (16:50)How the headband can help us stay calm with our partners and children (18:00)How Ariel was raised with positive reinforcement and felt safe to fail (27:00)Why some people are effected more than others by anxiety (30:45)MUSE S (The digital sleeping pill) tracks your sleep (35:40)Connect with Ariel:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/arielgarten/
https://www.facebook.com/choosemuse
https://www.instagram.com/choosemuse/
https://twitter.com/ChooseMuse
https://youtu.be/8rzlrItooG4
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I enjoyed a powerful conversation with my guest Dawn Kohler about how even the most successful people struggle with feeling not good enough and are actually coming from a place of trying to prove themselves rather than express themselves from a more confident and authentic self.
Dawn was an award-winning entrepreneur herself, when she was abruptly summoned to take a life-altering course. What followed was an extraordinary healing journey that gave her profound insights and a deep understanding of the human dynamic and how it plays out at home, work, and in our communities. Combining these insights, and her business experience, Dawn became a sought-after Executive Coach helping leaders understand and enhance their impact on others and their contribution to the world. Her clients have included many of the most influential women in entertainment, as well as senior leaders at such companies as Sony Pictures, NBCUniversal, Lionsgate, DreamWorks, Fox, Snapchat, Disney, and Amazon.
I talk to Dawn about her recent memoir, The Messages, which is a prophetic journey she experienced 25 years ago and how it has become relevant today. I also ask her about her role in the Board of Step-Up, a non-profit organization to help mentor teen girls in low-income areas.
Points discussed:
How the self that Dawn had created was hijacked by the one she was born to be when she felt her body couldn't even get out of the car. (2.27)The messages brought up feelings of abandonment in therapy which led to memories of sexual abuse as child. (5:37)Handling the challenge of raising three young children while releasing painful repressed memories (10.46)How understanding the feelings of transference during therapy, led to Dawn's true awakening.(18:08)How an awakening allows us to feel an expansion of our true self (14.42)Even the most successful of people have the 'Not good enough' wound. (16.16)Experiencing a Kundalini awakening before Dawn's encounter with the Divine, preparing her to receive the main messages. (23:20)Dawn's clear calling to WRITE (30.00)Messages to not follow those who 'judge' and how healing the world is still possible. (33:00)'What do you need to do, to be who you already are' ? (40:10)Connect with Dawn:
www.DawnKohler.com https://www.facebook.com/dawnkohlerauthorhttps://www.instagram.com/dawnkohler_/https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawn-kohler-1ab6494References:
The Messages available on Amazon
Let’s connect!
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In my previous two episodes of Breaking Free, I discussed some of my favorite books and talked about how reading can increase your confidence in many areas. Well my guest this week shares how reading helped him follow his heart and find his purpose in life.
Mostafa Salameh grew up in a Palestinian refugee camp in Jordan and found a way to reach England. He taught himself English by watching Sesame Street which eventually opened up a whole new world for him when he started to read inspirational books. The Alchemist, The Prophet, The Celestine Prophecy were the stepping stones to him becoming a great Explorer, Inspirational Speaker, Fundraiser and Author himself. His memoir DREAMS OF A REFUGEE is an extraordinary story of faith, bravery and perseverance with a foreword written by His Majesty King Abdullah II of Jordan.
Mostafa is the only Palestinian-Jordanian and one of only 20 people to climb the Seven Summits and reach the South Pole and the North Pole - known as the ‘Explorers Grand Slam’ . He skied Greenland from north to south and his next big goal is to run 7 marathons in 7 continents in 7 days.
Mostafa is the amazing proof that you can dream big and make anything happen if you open your heart with full conviction. His passion is changing people's lives and he has found it through climbing
for charity, raising awareness about causes that are close to his heart and giving others the opportunity to experience adventures alongside him.
His courage to commit to climbing Everest and ask for King Abdullah of Jordan's support to do so, when he had no prior experience or the required fitness levels, is astounding to say the least !
Discussed in this episode:
How King Abdullah II of Jordan generously offered to write the foreword of Mostafa's memoir (4:00)How life in a Palestinian refugee camp with strong family bonds shaped his personality (5:45)Life in London starts in the basement of The Jordanian Embassy in Belgravia (8:30)Learning English from Sesame Street and The Sun newspaper while working in the restaurant kitchen (12:00)Watching Mel Gibson in Braveheart inspires Mostafa to study in Edinburgh (13:45)The dream of climbing Everest happened in 2004 and turned his life around (16:00)The steps Mostafa took to make his dream a reality even though he had a fear of heights (20:00)Inspired to help others with LOWEST to HIGHEST for CANCER after meeting a young cancer patient (35:40)Follow your heart and the 777 challenge (40:00)References:
The Prophet by Gibran Khalil Gibran
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
Dreams of a refugee by Mostafa Salameh
Connect with Mostafa
https://www.mostafasalameh.com
https://www.instagram.com/mostafasalameh/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mostafasalameh/
Connect with Rania
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In part ONE of "The power of reading", I shared excerpts from two books that helped me better understand the world and myself and I have chosen three more that have stood out as favorites to share in this episode. Each one of them gave me valuable insights on what it is to be human. How we try to avoid pain, how success when driven by fear leads to unhappiness, how vulnerability is wrongly described as a weakness when it is in fact the strength that allows us to experience and live life fully.
I explain and read parts that I hope can resonate and be helpful in some way. I also share a favorite application that I use to find out about good reads ;)
Points discussed in this episode:
A great app to use when you want to choose books to read or keep a note of what you would like to remember to read in the future (2:00)The untethered soul by Michael Singer (3:00)The two choices we have when dealing with emotional pain (4:10)How do we truly answer the question 'WHO ARE YOU?" (7:40)What it's like to NOT SUFFER? (10:00)Will Smith's memoir and why I think he slapped actor Chris Rock at the Oscars (12:30)Reacting versus responding (15:10)Daring Greatly by Brene Brown (22:00)Debunking the myth that vulnerability is a weakness (24:30)Others share the things that make them feel most vulnerable (29:00)The three important lessons learned about joy and light from those who have spent time in sorrow and darkness. (32:00)References:
The untethered soul by Michael Singer
Will by Will Smith
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
https://www.goodreads.com/
Indian Hindu sage Ramana Maharshi
Connect with Rania
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I believe there is a strong link between reading and feeling more confident. Books and stories introduce us to characters and more introverted protagonists that we may not have seen or heard from otherwise in a world that tends to celebrate extroverts. It helps us gain empathy for ourselves and others as we begin to understand the differences and similarities in people. I have read books that made me laugh out loud, cry, helped me discover something about myself and change some destructive habits to healthier ones.
In part ONE of this episode I share excerpts from two books that helped me better understand the world and myself, 'Notes on a nervous planet' by Matt Haig and the other is Mindfulness ( a practical guide to FINDING PEACE IN A FRANTIC WORLD ) which has scientifically grounded techniques you can apply in the midst of your day to day challenging lives. I also share a ten minute guided meditation that will help calm your mind and connect more deeply with sensations in your body.
Discussed in this episode:
Matt Haig invites us to feel calmer happier and question the habits of the digital age in one of my favorite books NOTES ON A NERVOUS PLANET (3:23)Understanding how technology contributes to our state of continual partial attention and how it can be addictive. The World Health Organization now classifies video game addiction as an official mental disorder (6:55)We can see why we get distracted so easily when we look at all the things that have come into our lives since the year 2000 (8:40) Another favorite book of mine is MINDFULNESS / a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world, which helped me live better in the present moment (10:50)A chapter on how to escape the vicious cycle (12:12)Ten minute guided body scan meditation (15:00)How changing our thoughts is the key to changing our actions (24:40)References:
NOTES ON A NERVOUS PLANET / Matt Haig
Mindfulness ( a practical guide to FINDING PEACE IN A FRANTIC WORLD ) / Professor Mark Williams and Dr. Danny Penman
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It's Pride 2022 but many people still continue to question why gay people need to express their sexuality or speak out and share their authentic self. Perhaps It is hard to imagine how it feels to have to hide parts of yourself when you are in a position of privilege. However, I believe that everyone has a responsibility to listen to others who do not have the same privileges and join them in the fight for equality in this world.
My guest shares very honestly and openly what it feels like to grow up without a voice. What it feels like to not be seen and expected to follow unrealistic rules in a culture and family that follows traditions strictly. What it feels like to be loved conditionally and how hard she has been trying to be loved for who she actually is.
Discussed in the episode:
How feeling unseen as the youngest growing up in a large family and constantly compared to older siblings, led to making life choices that were very different and may not have been made otherwise (1:35)Beginning to question on what basis past decisions were made (5:10)Trying to be different and stand out was seen as rebellion (8:23)Moving away to study at the age eighteen was eye opening and developed a new awareness and confidence (10:00)Daily calls from back home with a 7pm curfew to abide by, started to be challenged and questioned (14:20)Explaining the family dynamic of perpetrator-victim-rescuer (16:45)Growing up in a family where girls and boys are separated until it is time to marry (17:55)Exploring what it is to be gay and the need to escape from arranged marriage (23:45)The relief that followed after expressing her needs for the first time at the age of twenty-four (31:00)Not wanting to lie anymore and speaking her truth to family and friends, gave her more confidence regardless of the outcome (32:30)Explaining the benefits of healing past traumas with therapy and the power of recognizing personal triggers (37:30)The power of language and how rephrasing what we say can change how we make others feel (42:00)Connect with Rania
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Today's episode differs from previous ones on Breaking Free, it is special in the sense that it is an actual introductory coaching session with a client. It is a rare opportunity to hear what the experience of being coached is like and perhaps gaining some clarity through hearing the client's experience and discoveries. The client wants to discover why he can't make decisions lately with regards to his career choices and love life. Issues can not be solved in one session but some clarity and understanding can be gained which will help in moving forward.
Points discussed:
The issue that the client requires help with is moving forward and making decisions about his career and love life (3:00)Realizing that after years of being told what to do and how to do it, making decisions in the last few years after living away from home is scary (5:50)How lack of trust in the self can be a result of parents not allowing their children to make mistakes (7:00)Growing up in a conservative family with an abusive father resulted in a fear of making mistakes (8:08)A recent example of struggling with a decision is shared (10:00)A pattern of relationships with dependent partners emerges (13;25)Discovering a trigger and the best way to deal with it (17:00)How to respond in Adult instead of reacting with a child-like or parent dynamic (19:10)Codependency (24:00)Unlearning what we learned is a big step forward (26:00)Learning to love your inner child instead of bullying and numbing the self (28:05)Realizing we don't know what we don't know (33:00)Where to look for support (37:00)Takeaways and summary of what the client gained from the session. And a hint of how he can begin to make the decisions he wants to make with support in further sessions (38:25)References:
Codependent no more by Melody Beattie
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The term 'Daddy issues' is thrown around lightly but it really does have a seriously negative impact on your romantic relationships.
My guest Danielle Robins, who is a certified coach and the founder of Be You Unlimited, works specifically with women who are experiencing a father wound.That includes any woman who has grown up with an absent or available / unattached father and experiencing what is called 'the fatherless daughter syndrome'.
Her passion to work and specialise in this area was driven from her own personal wounds that needed healing - Danni grew up with with a physical father who was emotionally unavailable, abusive, dysfunctional and now absent.
We discuss how the fatherless daughter syndrome can show up with a full range of emotions and characteristics like low self worth, low confidence, trust issues, anger, resentment, unhealthy boundaries, promiscuity, unhealthy drive to succeed or toxic relationships. Danielle transforms the pain from the past into a gift in the present and coaches women to build healthy boundaries at home and at work and become unlimited.
Gaining more confidence is something we can all do, so developing more awareness about our childhood wounds is the best place to start.
Discussed in this episode:
Danielle speaks honestly about how her father's absence impacted her and led her to numbing in order to cope with her emotions (2:00)How Investing in a coach changed her life and became her calling to help others in the same position (5:50)What is a fatherless daughter and what are the common traits of behaviour (7:35)Co-Dependency - relying on your partner for your happiness or to save, fix and heal you (12:35)The fear of facing your past traumas and admitting your childhood wasn't perfect (14:30)How resentment and guilt can be shifted into empathy (18:00)Danielle's relationships transformed from hysteria in the past, to a place of better communication. "If it's hysterical it's HISTORICAL" (22:10)Respecting and understanding your partners triggers (26:30)How a healthy relationship can feel passionless to a person who is used to drama (29:00)Numbing versus sitting with your feelings and pausing (32:00)Attachment styles and a quiz you can take (34:00)Connect with Danielle
https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielle-robins-fatherless-daughter-coach/
https://beyouunlimited.global
https://www.instagram.com/beyouunlimited/
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Brene Brown
Attachment styles quiz: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
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