Episodes

  • This is the final episode in Series 7. It's about birth trauma and I speak with journalist, author and CEO of The BTA, Kim Thomas.


    We talk about what birth trauma is, what can cause it (we do not go into graphic detail), how it can manifest and how to get help. We discuss the difference between Post Natal Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder brought on by birth trauma. We also discuss the impact of birth trauma on birthing partners.


    Some organisations we talk about in the episode:


    The Birth Trauma Association.


    Kim Thomas's book on PTSD and Birth Trauma.

    Masic: https://masic.org.uk/about-masic/

    Magnolia midwives: https://www.instagram.com/magnoliamidwives/?hl=en

    Doula UK:  https://doula.org.uk

    Tommy's:  https://www.tommys.org

    Nice Guidelines: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance

    Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists: https://www.rcog.org.uk

    https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/useful-contacts/


    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

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    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • Interviewing Ryan Bennett-Clarke for my Guardian column - about something else entirely - we got talking about envy. And what he had to say fair blew my mind.


    What is envy? How does it differ from jealously? Where does it come from and how does it manifest? If you've ever left a person feeling like little bits of you have been taken away, well envy may be the answer. We talk about how envy feels, why people get jealous or envious, how it's on the rise with social media; and we also talk about some nifty ways to 'interrupt' envy. How to answer back to those barbs. I found this one of the most thought-provoking episodes I've ever done and I have to admit I looked at certain people in a different way. Dare I say this is life-changing? I think it might be.


    Ryan Bennett-Clarke, né Marjoram is a UKCP accredited psychotherapist. He has written two papers for The Journal of Psychodynamic Practice:


    The Insidious Dance of Love and Hate: An examination of Envy and Greed in the Stalker-Victim Dynamic: Part One - Theory

    https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14753634.2022.2039880 


    The Insidious Dance of Love and Hate: An examination of Envy and Greed in the Stalker-Victim Dynamic: Part Two - Clinical Application


    https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14753634.2022.2039881  


    and you can read more about Ryan here:



    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]


    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • Although unresolved grief can hit us at any stage in our lives, this episode specifically talks about childhood bereavement and the impact it can have on adulthood. My guest is UKCP and BACP registered psychotherapist and researcher Mandy Gosling who, as we shall hear, has personal experience of early bereavement.


    An early bereavement can lodge - if not processed - and be carried into adult hood, manifesting as inability to hold down jobs or relationships, feelings of loneliness or depression (of course you can feel all these things without having been bereaved). Mandy talks about her personal experiences, how they impacted and how we can help children process grief and if that's now you as an adult, what you might consider doing to lighten your psychological load.


    You can learn more about Mandy and her work here: www.abcgrief.co.uk or www.mandygosling.co.uk 


    Some useful bereavement websites:


    https://www.winstonswish.org


    https://www.childbereavementuk.org


    https://www.cruse.org.uk



    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri


    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • Dr Stephen Blumenthal returns (catch him in Series 2 talking about Intimacy and Trust in Series 5) and this time we're talking about shame. What it is, how it differs to humiliation and embarrassment or even guilt. Shame can make people act differently - either because they are avoiding shame or trying to cover up the shame they already feel. Where does shame come from? And why is some shame useful to society?


    If you’d like to learn more about Dr Blumenthal and his work you can do so at https://stephenblumenthal.com.


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Professor Lucy Easthope is a UK expert and advisor on emergency planning and disaster recover. A world authority on recovery and disaster planning and its aftermath. She’s Professor of Practice of Risk and Hazard at the university of Durham and a professor in Mass Fatalities at the university of Bath.


    Lucy studied law at university and has a masters in disaster management and a pHD in medicine.


    In 2022 Lucy published a best selling book that talks a lot about her work and a little about her life called When the Dust Settles, Searching for Hope after disaster. It’s a must read and one that I recommend to all who will listen. If anyone knows about planning it’s Lucy and in this episode we talk about how she takes her incredible experience into every day life. Can we ever plan too much? Why is planning a good idea but how we should also leave a little room for spontaneity. Perhaps. And one of the most important take aways for me - look after the planner in the family


    You can find her website here: http://whatevernext.info/


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • Where to die? Not everyone gets that choice but you or a loved one might and that choice may be to go home from a hospice or hospital or care home, or go into one. In this sensitively handled but hugely informative episode, I talk again to Dr Kathryn Mannix, palliative care doctor and author of two excellent books: With the End in Mind and Listen. We talk about what to think about: care, equipment, environment, all things that need to be carefully considered and weighed up. When my own mother was dying and she wanted to go home, I was tortured by what to do and doing the Right Thing. Dr Kathryn Mannix held my hand through this process and lessened some of the pain. Despite the subject matter we end the episode on a really poetic, positive takeaway from Kathryn which should soothe even the most troubled of souls.


    A few links we refer to and which you may find useful:


    https://eol-doula.uk/

    https://www.kathrynmannix.com/


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes. For £5 a month you get them as soon as they are produced.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • Not what makes a relationship real vs fantasy or made up, but the nubbins of relationships, the reality. Many people seem unprepared for what a real relationship looks and feels like, and this might be because of how they are portrayed on TV and on social media where many times it's only the polar opposites which are show: either people talking about how fantastic their relationship is or how terrible. Real relationships are quite ordinary. But what should they be like? Is it okay to argue? When do you know if your relationship has tipped from 'real' to dysfunctional or even abusive? If relationships are such hard work why do we even bother to have them?


    Joanna Harrison is the author of an excellent book called Five Arguments All Couples Need To Have, but she was also a divorce lawyer in a former life, and is now a senior clinician at Tavistock Relationships and a consultant to parents and separating couples at the law firm Family Law in Partnership.


    You can read more about her and her work at joannaharrison.co.uk. She's on Instagram as @joannaharrisoncoupletherapy.


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • The in-laws, long the butt of jokes but in reality rich fodder for my Guardian mail bag. Of course, none of us think of ourselves as troublesome in-laws, but maybe we are? In this episode I talk to psychotherapist and CEO of the association for family therapy and systemic practise. Hannah has been a family and couples psychotherapist who has worked in the mental health service for thirty years. She’s also an associate professor at the university of exeter and deputy director of a clinical training department called CEDAR - clinical education development and research - that sits within the university’s psychology department.


    We talk about all the usual in-law problems, work out that three things seem to underpin them and I present my own theory.


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • Talking about suicide is never easy, yet it's essential. In this difficult episode both Dr Stubley and I bring personal experiences to the conversation in the hope that it might facilitate your own conversations.


    Dr Jo Stubley is a consultant psychiatrist in psychotherapy and leads the adult section of the trauma service at the NHS Tavistock Centre. Jo is a member of the British Psychoanalytic Society. Regular listeners will recognise that Jo is a returning conversationalist - this is our third episode together. The first one, on trauma in series one, would make a good listening companion piece to this one. 


    If you have suicidal feelings help is available: https://www.papyrus-uk.org and https://www.samaritans.org


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri


    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • Why do some people find it so hard to talk about money? And whilst it's not a romantic thing to bring up it's absolutely essential if you're thinking of buying a property with someone or moving in with someone. As Chris says if it's difficult to bring up at the beginning of the relationship it's a whole lot harder to bring up at the end when things may have gone wrong.


    A lot of the letters I get at the Guardian are about Wills and Will disputes and whilst it's about the money, Chris and I also look into what money can stand in for, what it represents and how it can reflect the value we put (or not) on ourselves.


    If this episode has tempted you to get a financial advisor the please make sure whomever you deal with is registered with the Financial Conduct Authority https://register.fca.org.uk/s/.


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri


    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • Sibs is a charity which supports children and adults who grow up with a brother or sister with additional needs or a long term health condition. And Linda Owen is the rather brilliant, compassionate and informed (aptly) Information Officer for Sibs.


    A lot of the advice Linda gives can also be applied in a family which doesn’t have a child with these additional needs, and there’s a lot to learn here about sibling dynamics. But of course when a child does have additional needs the sibling can often get overlooked and their needs can feel - especially to them - as not important in the scheme of things. Linda talks about how to have conversations with your children, how to get support for them or for yourself. 


    Note: as Linda explains we use the term sibling in this episode to denote the person who doesn’t have the additional needs, and the ones that do as brother or sister.


    A good companion episode to this one, is The Secrets of the Sibling Relationship with psychotherapist Nicole Addis in Series 1.


    The Sibs website: sibs.org.uk.


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri

    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • Welcome to episode 1 of Series 6


    A good few years ago, I started becoming aware of a term I'd hitherto not really heard much before, outside of my classics lessons: narcissism. Aside from all the s's making it hard to pronounce, I started to notice that it became a catch-all for anyone who was selfish, self centred or vain. Everyone, it seemed, was being called a narcissist. I'm not a fan of overly labelling behaviours (for one it's so lazy) and I have a natural tendency to avoid terms that everyone else is using, but eventually even I couldn't ignore it any longer. This is when I called UK registered psychotherapist Mark Vahrmeyer in. Mark is writing a book about narcissism and in this episode we talk about what it is, and what it isn't. And how just possibly everyone has some narcissistic traits occasionally, but that doesn't make them a narcissist. Someone with true narcissistic behaviours actually has a wafer-thin self esteem and is very tiring to be around. Who'd be a narcissist? But also what about poor Echo, who often gets forgotten in the tale of Narcissus, typical to air brush a woman out of history.


    If you'd like to learn more about Mark and his work his website is at brightonandhovepsychotherapy.com


    Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: [email protected]

    If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri

    If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.


    Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.


    The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.


    IG: @annalisabarbieri

    All links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieri


    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • A lot of people struggle with the toddler stage. Where have their lovely, compliant babies gone? I think it's got worse the later we leave parenthood and the more used we are to living in a world where we're (maybe) used to people doing as we ask.


    Toddlers don't give a damn about all that, and thank goodness. But it's not because they are difficult, they're growing, learning who they are, what the boundaries are and their brains are going through enormous growth.


    In this episode I talk to child and adolescent psychotherapist Rachel Melville -Thomas about what's going on with toddlers and how we can help and support them. We learn about what's going on in a toddler's brain, how they learn to 'do' before they learn to 'explain', what techniques work and which don't. And what to do when a toddler tantrums. All to help you understand and support your toddler in a kind and effective manner.


    This episode concludes Series 5, but we're already lining up subjects for Series 6!


    Thanks for listening and supporting these episodes and please share as widely as you can. Don't forget to leave a review if you can!


    Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri.


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  • This is not a subject many of us discuss is it? Birth plans, maybe, weddings, definitely, but we will all die and we all need a send off, however small and modest.


    This episode isn't really about planning your own funeral, although it can be of course (but as we'll see, don't be too prescriptive) but it's more that this potentially distressing subject - a funeral is the ultimate distress purchase - is important. Why? A good funeral is the start of grieving, it can help people come together to remember the person who has died.


    Because we don't tend to want to discuss funerals (although this is changing, thank goodness) it's very easy to just go with what your high street funeral director offers and not realise there can be another way. Do you know you don't even need to use a funeral director? Or not for all of it? You don't need a hearse, either, or a coffin, or you can make the coffin. There are various possibilities to make funerals more personal instead of, as Louise describes them 'templated'. We discuss woodland burials, the law around funerals (surprisingly few) and much more, including 'what's next' in terms of body disposal.


    I think a good funeral is one where, if the person who has died were to magically come alive, they wouldn't feel out of place. And a good funeral can be very healing for those left behind.


    Louise is a progressive funeral director and her London based company is called Poetic Endings. She is also the co-director of an award winning festival and community called Life, Death, Whatever which seeks to change how we talk about death and dying and

    Louise co-authored of an excellent book called We All Know How This Ends. And we do, don't we? Know how this ends. So let's start talking about it.


    Here are the links talked about in this episode.


    Josh’s funeral: https://thegoodgriefproject.co.uk/our-films/

    https://www.poetic-endings.com/when-someone-dies

    https://www.lifedeathwhatever.com

    https://www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk

    http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk

    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/06/it-was-an-incredibly-enriching-day-the-families-taking-control-of-death


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  • The way labour and birth is depicted on film and TV has bugged me for some years and, I think, does little to make women feel empowered. This episode isn't about how or where to give birth - that's your choice - but we do talk about what happens in an uncomplicated vaginal birth.


    Amy is the Lead Research Midwife in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the university of Cambridge, and study coordinator for the Pregnancy Outcome Prediction Study 2 (POPS2). She's previously worked as a senior research midwife in the NHS, and as the Eastern Regions Champion Research Midwife for the NIHR. Amy received a Chief Midwifery Officer Silver Award in 2020 for her work in reproductive health and childbirth research.

    Amy has also been an independent midwife, which is when I met her as she delivered my second child.


    Birthrights is a great charity that helps you understand your rights when giving birth in the UK.


    https://www.birthrights.org.uk


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  • This is our first listener requested episode. "Joanne" (not her real name) asked us if we could do an episode on trust, after her husband had an affair. Although Joanne asked some specific questions ("how do I get the trust back/is it good to talk about it"), Dr Blumenthal and I discuss this but also what trust is at its core, beyond romantic relationships, what it means to trust, how do we trust, is it necessary to trust someone to love them, and how to get trust back when it's been lost.


    Dr Blumenthal spoke so eloquently in series 2, on Intimacy, and that is a great companion piece to this one.


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  • This is a difficult subject, but an important one. I still get letters from people unsure whether they've been the survivor of sexual violence.


    My guest is Katie Russell, former media officer for Rape Crisis and now CEO of Support After Rape and Sexual Violence Leeds (SARSVL). Katie is a specialist in sexual violence and abuse against women and girls with over 18 years' diverse experience within the Rape Crisis movement and wider voluntary and community sector.


    In this episode we talk about what rape and sexual assault is, and also address other aspects of sexual violence. We talk about consent, and how it's an active, not a passive act. I.e. just because you didn't say no, it doesn't mean you meant yes.


    We talk about the trauma response and how that can affect your response to sexual violence, and how this isn't anything you have control over.


    In an ideal world I'd like everyone over the age of about fourteen to listen to this and really understand what consent is, because without understanding consent you can't be sure you've got it. And if you haven't got consent, you may be committing an act of rape or sexual assault.


    I talk about organisations and articles in the episode and here are the relevant links:


    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/19/are-obedient-children-a-good-thing

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jan/08/shouldnt-force-child-kiss-grandparent-consent-sex-education


    If you or someone you know has been affected by the subject matter of this episode you can get help and support by putting in the words rape crisis and the county you live in into Google.


    SARSVL is the organisation mentioned and where Katie works is at.


    Rape Crisis England and Wales.


    The 24 hour helpline Katie mentions is on 0808 500 2222.


    Support for men and boys affected by rape or sexual violence:


    The legislation we refer to is the 2003 Sexual Offences Act.


    Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri


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  • What does it mean to belong? What does it feel like? And does it even matter?


    I started asking myself this a few years ago, possibly because, as a child of immigrants, I wasn't sure I ever felt like I truly, 100%, ever belonged in any one place. But, does anyone?


    My specialist, for this episode, Mark Vahrmeyer is a UKCP registered integrative psychotherapist who is very psychoanalytically informed. Mark was born in England to a Dutch father and an English mother but moved extensively, as you’ll hear, as a child. He is a third culture kid and we’ll discuss what this means in more detail in the episode.


    We also look at how important attachment is in determining how much we feel we belong, or don’t. How self esteem also impacts and how very important human connection is to psychologically tether us to a sense of belonging. We also look at why you might feel you don’t belong in the very place you think you might have an automatic right to -  your own family.


    If you’d like to learn more about Mark and his work his website is brightonandhovepsychotherapy.com


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  • Despite the plethora of information that's now available about sex, across so many mediums, it's still astonishing the misinformation that's spread on sex and the sexual organs. This is likely due to two factors: the adults in children's lives being too embarrassed or falsehoods spread around playgrounds and classrooms by children and young teens who get their 'sex ed' from porn (which doesn't show realistic sex).


    This is an introduction to sex with sexual and relationship psychotherapist and specialist in sexology, Silva Neves is accredited with COSRT and UKCP. Based on the sort of questions that I get asked such as "does the man have to be on top?". You may be surprised by what you learn however, even about your own body. I learnt something about the clitoris and I speak to sex therapists all the time! Marvel at the stupid questions I ask, so you don't have to.


    You can learn more about Silva Neves and his work here: https://www.silvaneves.co.uk/


    A good website aimed at fourteen year olds and up is BishUK.com. If you want to find a sexual and relationship counsellor the website for accredited therapists is cosrt.org.uk


    Remember, sex you don't consent to, isn't sex. It's rape or sexual assault, or both. https://rapecrisis.org.uk/


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  • If you've even been near a baby, let alone had one, you've probably heard of baby-led weaning, the idea that babies don't need to have puree laden spoons shovelled into their mouths, but are perfectly capable of feeding themselves. Even choosing their own foods from a pre-prepared selection. Gasp.


    In this episode I talk to Gill Rapley, whom I first met in 2006 but had heard about a bit before then. She didn't invent BLW but she definitely put it on the map and kicked off a lot of research into this subject. She also co-wrote the original, research packed book on the subject (accept no substitute!): Baby-Led Weaning. Gill was a health visitor for 20 years, has been a board certified lactation consultant and is the co-author of five other books including one just published in the UK on an adapted baby led weaning approach for babies with additional challenges and difficulty eating called Your Baby Can Self Feed Too.


    We talk about what baby led weaning is, what it isn’t, why we may want to rethink spoon feeding, what the research shows and why, anyway, baby’s first piece of cutlery - when he or she is ready to wield their own - should really be a fork and not a spoon. I should add I did spoon/puree feeding with my first and baby led weaning with my second. I’ll talk more about that at the end of the episode.


    Read more about Gill, her work and her books at: www.rapleyweaning.com


    If you'd like to read the article I wrote in 2006 when I first met Gill you can do so here. If you are in need of a board certified lactation consultant go to https://ibclc.co.uk.


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