Episodes
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This week we're diving deeply and darkly into the DTV realm and fishing up a couple of classier than usual gems with legitimate people involved. We kick things off with a discussion of the subtly anger fueled Neo-Noir, Sweet Virginia (2017), featuring a sad, bearded bull riding Jonny Bernthal. Then we head out to Baltic region and fish ourselves up some Polish gangsters in the undercover-snitch/prison crime drama, The Informer (2019), featuring Robocop, Gone Girl, Shoot 'Em Up, Marilyn Monroe and Common!
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Sometimes you go into a movie with hopes and dreams of the magnificently magical treasure box that's about to hopefully be revealed before your eye meats. You see the cast, the plot synopsis and the vintage and you just know you're in for something truly special. And other times you end up with the Brent Huff penned and directed stinkbag, The Bad Pack (1997) starring Robert Davi in a big dumb leather jacket and Confederate soldier cap. Luckily, there are yet other times when you don't have any expectations at all and you end up with something really kinda special. Such is the case with Don Johnson in his cinematic debut, as an unhinged cop on the edge, chasing Neo Nazis across the American heartland in Dead Bang (1989)!
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Missing episodes?
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Real movie fans buy a lot of movies. The REALEST movie fans buy movies they've never even seen. The even REALER REALEST movie fans buy movies they've never seen and often don't watch them for years... Even decades. This week we help to assuage this weighty, watchlist affliction by assisting Jake in ensuring his well earned money has been spent wisely by watching two bangers from his back catalogue. We kick things off with a discussion about a snow suit and social commentary infused, Exploitation/Docu-Drama from Canucklehead land, Gina (1975). Then we throw on our crispiest pair of tighty whities and descened into a nightmare world of gay panic and hairy thighs in the Giallo inspired weirdness of Hanging Heart (1989).
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One big, fat Keanu special. Two big, fat Keanu Meatball Sandwiches. Young Keanu as an action boy in Point Break (1991) and Old Keanu as an action man in John Wick Chapter 4 (2023).
"Gimme 2!"
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Karate Kid was a movie about a kid who learns karate from a Karate master and uses his newly learned skills to overcome a group of bullies, and in the journey, finds himself. A Fight For Honor (1992) is a movie about a (female!) kid who learns Tae Kwon Do from a Tae Kwon Do master and uses her newly learned skills to overcome (two!) groups of bullies and in the journey gets undercut by the grandson of her Tae Kwon Do master. Rampage (1997) on the other hand, can't properly be conveyed using human vocal chords. It's a vibe. It's a multitude of vibes. It's the kind of thing that can only really be embodied by a .Gif of an old man stepping nude from his shower and taking a pull from a carefully placed mickey of Bacardi Rum next to his sink.
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This week we salute all the heroes and their various blood types. Rutger Hauer, Vincent D'Onofrio (looking fine as hell), Delroy Lindo, Sean Connery, that pale dude from Queen of the Damned, The Invisible Man, La Femme Nikita, Mr. Hyde's outsized tophat, Stephen Norrington's ego, Captain Nemo's Indian Capoeira skills and a surprising amount of Cum. Literally the whole shebang. We get the dog skull rolling with a chat about a game that makes no sense but nevertheless captivates the endtimes in The Blood of Heroes aka Salute of the Jugger (1989). Then we dive headlong into Victorian era, filigree ensconced hatred with Sean Connery and Stephen Norrington's mutual retirement-driven, early 2000s cash toilet, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
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This week we head out to the European wilds and experience death and destruction as only the Netherlands and Jolly Old England can provide. First, we experience emotional death and destruction in the form of the miserable, Kitchen Sink nightmare, The Black Panther (1997). Then we head to Amsterdam with Dick Maas at the helm and experience the death and destruction of a mute girl's childhood at the hands of The Commish himself, Michael Chiklis in Do Not Disturb (1999).
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The desert is a place where people go to get lost. It's also a place where people go to get found. Then again, it's also a place where dirtbags like to do dumb sh*t while messed up on illicit drugs and maybe start an off the grid colony or something. The point is... wait... what was the point? Oh yeah, this week the movies we're talking about feature deserts. They also feature lots of scenes with dumbsh*ts embarrassing themselves in front of cameras while potentially under the influence. Often while in the desert. First we kick things off with one of the cornballiest cornfests that ever corned in Lee Katzin's doofy post apoc dorkfest, World Gone Wild (1988). Then we take a hit off that good, good nostalgia hooka in the backseat of Ollie Stone's convertible and have a panic attack because he's sweating too much, talking too fast and his face keeps morphing into Tarantino's while blabbering media conspiracies at us in Natural Born Killers (1994). Oh yeah, and we managed to do somewhat of a Tom Sizemore tribute episode a week before his death without even knowing it!
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This week we head back to the mystical land of the orient and discover that, as long suspected, the people of Asia have the highest blood pressure of anyone in the world. We also discover that high school girls are more terrifying than the reanimated corpse of a World War II soldier capable of pulling a man's arm off and caving his skull in with it. We kick things off with a discussion of what may be the bloodiest movie (in gallons) to ever bloody our screens in the newly released South Korean blood bomb, Project Wolf Hunting (2022). Then we suffer a full blown nervous breakdown while watching Koji Yakusho track down his emotionally abusive demon spawn in Tetsuya Nakashima's nihilism bomb, World of Kanako (2019).
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Why can't we escape the early aughts?! BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO. This week we mix things up with one of the sleaziest, most confounding teen dramas of the past two decades with the sleaztastic, Elisha Cuthbert produced, incest infused The Quiet (2005). Then we bring "The Demon" back to the show with a heaping helping of dad-ly Rob Van Dam and a side of Big Dave Bautista slappy knife fighting his way through David DeFalco's The Wrong Side of Town.
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It's episode 450! Which means it's time to talk about honor. It's time to talk about brotherhood. It's time to talk about Heroes. Bloodshed. It's time to talk about cool sunglasses. Trenchcoats. The plausability of smoking while also holding a toothpick in one's mouth. Dealing with trauma by way of the food triangle. Whether or not it's a good idea to wear all white to a precarious criminal exchange. And most importantly, the concept of rice being the embodiment of one's father AND mother all at once. It's time to talk about John Woo's bro-therly duology, A Better Tomorrow I (1986) and A Better Tomorrow II (1987). Happy 450!
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Bo's a family man. Bo's an action man. Bo's an adrenaline infused man. Bo knows acting. Bo knows good old fashioned values. Bo knows when someone's stepped over the line. Bo knows it's not cool to take pics of his boy while he practices soccer with the other boys. Bo knows violence. Bo knows retribution. This week we talk about the trials and tribulations of Bo (Cole Hauser) and his quest to take the power back from the slimy, no good, double dealin' Paps and their dirty, dirty ways in the Mel Gibson infused Paparazzi (2004). We also talk about a movie called Kick of Death (1997) which features a suspicious lack of Death Kickin' and a worrying amount of surf guitar.
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The topic of this week's episode is misplaced rage. Rage about being forgotten after suffering for your country. Rage about how your patriotic duty resulted in the allowance of people you don't particularly care for or respect gaining freedoms you don't believe they deserve. Rage about how you spent all this time building a cool serrated razor glove with no one to show it off to but a bunch of horny teenagers who don't appreciate your craftsmanship. Rage about how you built all these crazy booby traps that aren't effective in the least. Rage about how you're 34 years old and you already have the face and hairline of a 72 year old pop-pop with 13 grandchildren. Rage about how you can't bear to hear your ol' lady talk about her curtain selection process with some rich broad. This rage is represented in two very different but no less viscerally hard hitting, diamond sharp films. First, in the Mexican produced Slasher, Trampa Infernal aka Hell's Trap (1989). Then, in Joe (1970).
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Richard Bruno Riddick is the focus of this week's episode. Richard. Bruno. Riddick. "Dick Riddick". "Dicky Rids". He's a space man who wears a black tank top and welding goggles and talks like he's been drinking full cartons of heavy table cream all day. He fights aliens. He fights men. He fights his desire to make it with women who think of him as an older brother. He has chronicles and eventually he becomes space Conan... Or something. Richie B. Riddick. The space guido. Our hero.
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CDR brings the sweet Treat(s) to the show this week with a couple of absolute bangin' choices. First thing's first, we teeter on the Tightrope (1984) with horny, midlife crisis Clint and a bevy of young ladies at his beck and call, including his very own daughter. Then we get down n' dirrrty with Treat Williams as he inflitrates a high school with his best tight shirted merc bro and a Vietnam Vet tunnel rat janitor in The Substitute 2: School's Out (1998).
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This week we strap on our leathers, grab our hot little mamas and unleash our inner Wild Hogs on the open road with a couple of 90s biker classics(?). We kick things off with one of the sweetest and least badass entries in the pantheon, Running Cool (1993), the "fart rock" infused, environmentally conscious tale of Andrew Divoff saving his friend Ironbutt's homestead. Then things get slightly spicier with the third entry in the much beloved Snake Eater series, Snake Eater 3: His Law, in which two men scheme to get Bam Bam Bigelow drunk enough that they can sneakily electrocute his penis to death.
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Sometimes the men in white coats come along, snatch you up and use wire fire to scramble your eggs, which can be pretty wild. Not as wild as raising a child after such a horrifying and life altering event, which is exactly what happens in the John Sayles penned weirdo hobo superhero epic, Wild Child (1987). But before we dive into all that nonsense, we head out to the desert and spend some time hanging with hillbilly Foghorn Leghorn impersonator, Jim Belushi while he flies through time attempting to press his belt buckle into poor, unsuspecting ladies' foreheads in Retroactive (1997).
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The youth run wild in the streets and on the B-Ball courts in this week's episode and none of us are safe. We kick things off with the gritty, grounded look at the illicit world of deathmatch "Cage Ball" in Hoop Soldiers (2000). Then we head to the explosively deadly streets of L.A. where the terrifying yuppie youth have run amok and even the combined powers of Wings Hauser and Joey Travolta may not be enough to stop them in Wilding (1990).
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This week we continue to wallow in the early 2000s mire as we're wont to do. Up front we head to Depression era gangland with Tom Hanks, Paul Newman, Daniel Craig's ghoulish mug and Jude Law's baked bean teeth in Road to Perdition (2002). Then we bang back a shot and take a flight over to the land of tea and crumpets to watch some dag fights with a cavalcade of goofballs in the whip pan loaded Snatch (2000).
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This week we pay tribute to an auteurist B-cinema titan and also take some time to recognize the significant contributions Gregory Scott Cummins made to the music world via the golden year of 1997. We start things off with a PM Entertainment deep dive into the controversial world of Hip-Hop based copyright infringement and the violent, vengeful Disco crusaders trying to speak tuth to power through unhinged violence in, The Underground (1997). Then we check out the Tarantino/Mambo/Pergutory infused Most Dangerous Game-like from Albert Pyun, Mean Guns (1997).
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