Episodes
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Episode Description:
In this special expanded edition of Family Twist, Corey and Kendall revisit 2024’s most downloaded episode featuring Pam, a courageous advocate who discovered through DNA testing that she is the child of an affair. Pam shares the emotional journey of uncovering her biological parentage, navigating family dynamics, and becoming an advocate for others in the NPE (Not Parent Expected) community.
Kendall also dives into his own DNA discovery story, revealing the life-changing realization that his biological father wasn’t who he thought. With humor and heart, Kendall recalls thinking his test results were 'ruined' by a morning kiss and how his persistence eventually led him to uncovering the truth.
Breaking the Stigma As the Child of an AffairKey Highlights:
Pam’s personal discovery of her biological parentage through DNA testing.The emotional complexities of being the child of an affair and navigating relationships with biological family members.Kendall’s candid and humorous recounting of his DNA discovery and its emotional fallout.The advocacy work Pam has undertaken to create support spaces for those with unexpected parentage discoveries.The importance of finding community and support in NPE, adoption, and DNA discovery groups.Key Quotes:
"I just wanted to know how Irish I was. Instead, I discovered my entire identity wasn’t what I thought." – Kendall"You can’t erase the fact that I’m here. I deserve to exist." – Pam"Family twists don’t just change lives; they reveal truths that have been buried for decades." – CoreyConnect With Us:
If you have a story to share or know someone whose family twist deserves to be told, reach out to us at [insert email address].
Additional Resources:
Learn more about NPE advocacy at [insert resource link].Join support groups for DNA discoveries, adoption, and NPE [insert group link].Check out past episodes of Family Twist on [insert platform links].Don’t Forget to Subscribe!
Be sure to follow us wherever you listen to podcasts so you don’t miss upcoming episodes featuring more extraordinary stories like Pam’s.
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Make sure and listen to episode 100 of The Family Twist Podcast before listening to this "lost," bonus episode with Monica Hall.
The Lost Episode of Family TwistIn this special “lost” episode, we reconnect with the unforgettable Monica Hall, whose previous appearance left us laughing, crying, and marveling at her resilience. This time, Monica dives even deeper into her extraordinary journey of healing, empowerment, and reconciling with her past. Monica shares stories about finding the daughter she gave up for adoption, and the potentially literal demons that haunted her and her son, Levi.
Monica recounts haunting tales from her teenage years, including the trauma of sexual violence and her subsequent quest for closure. In a moment straight out of a thriller, she describes confronting her past head-on by tracking down the man who wronged her—a journey filled with equal parts courage and catharsis. From shadowy figures and family secrets to her son’s “Spidey sense,” Monica’s story is gripping and raw, offering listeners an unfiltered look at the resilience of the human spirit.
This episode also explores how trauma and healing intersect, touching on themes from Corey and Kendall’s other podcast, Horror Heals. Monica’s tale reminds us that no matter how dark the story, there’s always hope for light and growth.
What You'll Hear in This Episode:
Revisiting Monica’s Story: A quick recap of Monica’s life journey, from leaving corporate America to rediscovering her indigenous roots and building a global soap empire.Haunted by the Past: Monica shares chilling accounts of shadowy figures and demons tied to family trauma, and her relentless pursuit of healing through confrontation.The Power of Writing and Reflection: How writing her memoir helped Monica process decades of pain and repressed memories.Family, Trauma, and Healing: Monica’s reflections on the complexities of adoption, family secrets, and her ongoing work to reconcile her past.Connections to Horror Heals: How Monica’s experiences align with the themes of horror as a tool for mental wellness.Why You Should Listen:
This bonus episode isn’t just about revisiting Monica’s incredible life; it’s about exploring the power of owning your story. Monica’s raw honesty, dark humor, and relentless spirit remind us that even the most challenging twists in life can lead to transformative growth. Whether you’re here for her wit, her wisdom, or her unwavering courage, this episode will leave you inspired to face your own shadows.
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Missing episodes?
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In this episode of Family Twist, Corey and Kendall sit down with Jill Krizinovich, better known by her pen name, Margo Reilly. Jill is the author of the forthcoming memoir When You Shake the Family Tree and its predecessor When the Apple Falls Far from the Tree. Jill shares her remarkable journey of resilience and self-discovery, navigating family secrets, a shocking DNA discovery, and the ripple effects of generational trauma.
Unearthing Grit, Family Secrets and Finding StrengthListen as Jill reveals the origins of her pen name, the grit it took to overcome a tumultuous childhood, and her determination to uncover and tell her truth. Corey and Kendall connect with Jill on a deeply personal level, discussing the shared challenges of DNA surprises and how finding community has transformed their experiences. This heartfelt conversation will inspire anyone grappling with identity, family, and the quest for belonging.
Timestamps:
00:00 – 03:45: Welcome and introductions; Jill’s snow-filled New England backdrop
03:46 – 10:32: Jill’s alter ego, Margo Reilly: The meaning behind the name
10:33 – 20:15: Jill’s childhood challenges and the development of her resilience
20:16 – 33:55: The DNA discovery that changed Jill’s life
33:56 – 42:30: Navigating family rejection and acceptance
42:31 – 51:20: Writing for healing: Jill’s journey to sharing her truth
51:21 – 58:00: The power of community in healing family wounds
58:01 – 1:02:30: Closing thoughts and Jill’s hopes for her readers
Resources and Links:
Preorder Jill’s memoir: When You Shake the Family Tree (Available December 12th, 2024)Read Jill’s first book: When the Apple Falls Far from the TreeFollow Jill (Margo Reilly) on Instagram and FacebookLearn more about DNA surprises and community resources at Untangling Our RootsKey Takeaways:
Resilience can stem from even the most challenging experiences and guide us through unimaginable revelations.Family secrets may feel protective in the moment but often lead to generational harm.Building a supportive community is a critical part of healing from DNA surprises and family estrangement.Sharing our stories can bring clarity and catharsis—and help others feel less alone.Listener Challenge:
If Jill’s story resonated with you, take a moment to reflect on how family secrets have impacted your life. Consider journaling, reaching out to someone you trust, or exploring your own genealogy as a step toward understanding and healing.
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Welcome to a special Thanksgiving episode of Family Twist! As the holiday season kicks off, Corey and Kendall take a brief pause to share heartfelt moments of gratitude and reflect on Thanksgiving traditions from their childhoods to today. From Kendall’s memories of his father’s long holiday weekends and lively house-hopping parties in Missouri to Corey’s packed family gatherings and their early days hosting “Thanksgiving orphans” in California, this episode is full of nostalgic warmth and humor.
Turning Thanksgiving Memories into TraditionsNow living in New England, the tradition continues as Corey and Kendall celebrate Thanksgiving with Kendall’s brother and extended family, complete with delicious food, laughs, and a sweet dog named Clover, who dreams of turkey leftovers.
The duo also teases exciting plans for Family Twist in 2025, including crossover episodes with their sister podcast, Horror Heals, and an upcoming milestone before the end of the year.
Whether you’re prepping the turkey or driving to your Thanksgiving destination, take a quick break with Corey and Kendall as they bring the spirit of family and gratitude to your day.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
Kendall’s childhood Thanksgiving traditions, including his dad’s long weekends and house-hopping parties.
Corey’s family’s rotating Thanksgiving hosting schedule and packed celebrations.
Stories of hosting “Thanksgiving orphans” in California.
Thanksgiving with the Clarks in New England and the beloved family dog, Clover.
A sneak peek at what’s coming for Family Twist in 2025.
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For Shirley, life was a mystery with pieces that never quite fit—until a DNA test in 2001 revealed the unthinkable truth: she had been switched at birth. Raised in one family and belonging by blood to another, Shirley’s world was upended. In her memoir, The Little Dark One: A True Story of Switched at Birth, she recounts the trials and triumphs that followed, from grappling with family secrets to finding her place in a supportive community of adoptees and others with similar experiences.
When Corey and Kendall met Shirley at the Untangling Our Roots Summit, they immediately connected with her story. In a space filled with adoptees, NPEs, and donor-conceived individuals, Shirley found her tribe—people who understood the weight of family secrets and the power of shared experiences. Shirley describes the summit as “a group of nodding heads” who listened with empathy, providing the understanding she longed for but couldn’t find elsewhere.
Beyond her discovery, Shirley’s story is also about resilience and betrayal. After locating her biological family, she faced a heartbreaking betrayal when family members sold her story to tabloids. Despite this, Shirley found solace and love through her chosen family, including her beloved Aunt Mary, who welcomed her into her heritage and taught her the traditions of her roots. “DNA does not make a family, love does,” Shirley says, a mantra that has guided her through the twists and turns of her journey.
Writing The Little Dark One was a cathartic process for Shirley, bringing to light the emotions she’d buried for decades. She discovered how trauma had manifested in her physical health and found healing not only through writing but also through faith. “My body was falling apart,” she recalls, crediting therapy for saving her and helping her confront the past.
Shirley’s journey is a story of self-acceptance, healing, and the enduring strength of the human spirit. Her message resonates with all who struggle to find where they belong, reminding us that healing is possible and that sometimes, family is found where we least expect it.
Read Shirley's book, The Little Dark One: A True Story of Switched at Birth, available on Amazon and in local bookstores.
Switched at Birth, Saved by LoveEpisode Summary: In this powerful episode, Corey and Kendall speak with Shirley, the courageous author of The Little Dark One: A True Story of Switched at Birth. Shirley shares her remarkable journey of self-discovery, healing, and the power of faith after uncovering a life-altering truth: she was switched at birth. Together, they dive into the emotional and physical toll of her experience, the betrayals she faced, and the strength she found through her chosen family and the community of adoptees, NPEs, and donor-conceived individuals. This episode delves deep into themes of rejection, identity, forgiveness, and the resilience it takes to turn pain into purpose.
Key Topics Discussed:
Finding Community and Belonging: Shirley recounts her experience at the Untangling Our Roots Summit, where, for the first time, she felt truly understood by people with similar stories of family twists and hidden truths.
Discovering She Was Switched at Birth: Shirley details her journey of discovery, piecing together her past and finding her biological family in the early days of DNA testing and research.
Betrayal and Resilience: The painful experience of family members selling her story to tabloids and how she learned to find strength amidst betrayal.
Faith as a Foundation: Shirley’s journey through her faith and how it provided her with solace, strength, and a foundation for healing.
Healing Through Writing: How writing The Little Dark One uncovered buried trauma and contributed to her healing, both emotionally and physically.
The Power of Chosen Family: Shirley shares touching stories of her Aunt Mary and others in her biological family who...
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In part two of this eye-opening conversation, Kendall Stulce and Rich Uhrlaub pick up where they left off, diving even deeper into the emotional highs and lows of the adoption journey. This episode unveils the unfiltered realities adoptees face, from unexpected family rejections to the healing power of creative expression. Rich continues sharing insights into his musical For the Record(s), a powerful work that voices the silenced stories of adoptees and birth families, capturing the struggle to reclaim identity amid a culture of secrecy.
This Episode Will Change How You See Adoption
Kendall and Rich also explore the social and psychological impact of adoption. They discuss their own paths to self-discovery, reflecting on how the need for answers transcends personal histories and taps into universal human questions. For anyone who has ever felt like a “second-tier” relative or struggled to make sense of their past, this episode is a powerful reminder that healing is possible—even in the face of silence and denial.
Key Takeaways:
Art as a Means of Healing: Rich shares how creating For the Record(s) allowed him to process deep-seated emotions around his adoption, turning personal pain into a universally resonant story.The Complexities of Family Reunions: Kendall and Rich reflect on the bittersweet reunions with biological families, revealing how relationships don’t always meet the expectations that adoptees carry with them.Navigating Rejection and Silence: This episode shines a light on the emotional impact of being excluded from family milestones and the frustration adoptees face when denied basic truths about their origins.Advocating for Adoptee Rights: Rich discusses his continued work in adoption advocacy, including his role in legislative changes that aim to give adoptees the right to know their biological roots.Quotes from the Episode:
“Sometimes reconnecting with family doesn’t feel like a happy ending; it feels like starting a whole new story with no guarantees.” - Kendall Stulce“Art gives us a way to channel the emotions we can’t put into words. For me, For the Record(s) became that voice.” - Rich Uhrlaub“The right to know where we come from is as fundamental as it gets—why is that still so controversial?” - Rich UhrlaubEpisode Highlights:
Turning Pain into Performance - Rich reveals how the creation of For the Record(s) helped him make sense of his adoption story, transforming personal struggles into a story that resonates widely.Expectations vs. Reality in Family Reunions - Both Kendall and Rich share candid stories of meeting biological family members and the challenges that arise when reality doesn’t align with dreams.Breaking the Silence - This conversation unpacks the pain and frustration adoptees feel when denied basic truths about their origins, and the emotional toll of facing family rejections.Fighting for Adoptees’ Rights - Rich emphasizes the importance of advocating for adoptee rights, sharing his experience of helping to bring legislative change in Colorado.
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In this gripping episode, Kendall Stulce opens up a powerful, no-holds-barred conversation with writer, advocate, and adoptee Rich Uhrlaub, the creative mind behind For the Records—a bold new musical that brings the haunting truths of adoption to the stage. Set in 1967, Rich’s musical unravels the hidden heartache of the baby scoop era, a time when adoption was shrouded in secrecy, leaving adoptees to grapple with questions about their identities and worth.
The Musical Exposing Adoption’s Darkest SecretsAs a long-time advocate, Rich has fought tirelessly to give adoptees their stories back. Kendall and Rich delve deep into the emotional maze of finding biological family members and the unexpected rejections and heartbreak that can come with it. Together, they lay bare the highs and lows of family reunions, from joyful connections to the painful reality of still feeling like a stranger. This is a story of resilience, raw honesty, and the universal human desire to belong. Don't miss the first of this two-part conversation that is as unforgettable as it is eye-opening.
Key Takeaways:
For the Records: Rich shares the lightning-bolt moment when he knew his story—and the stories of so many adoptees—had to be told on stage. Hear how his powerful musical confronts the unspoken truths of adoption.The Quest for Identity: Kendall and Rich dive into what it’s like to uncover your biological roots, only to face the complex family dynamics and often bittersweet reunions that follow.Fighting for Truth: Rich’s advocacy has helped countless adoptees reclaim their stories, but he reveals the frustrating legal obstacles that still stand in the way for many.Hard Conversations, Real Healing: From the anger of being sidelined in family celebrations to the quiet strength of just showing up, Kendall and Rich get real about what it means to seek answers—and acceptance—without losing yourself in the process.Episode Highlights:
Rich’s Musical Vision - Discover how a hot tub brainstorm led Rich to write For the Records, a musical that lays bare the forgotten voices of the baby scoop era.Adoptees’ ‘Second-Tier’ Status - Kendall and Rich share brutally honest accounts of what it’s like to be viewed as ‘outsiders’ in their own families, even after reconnecting.Confronting the Past, Embracing the Present - The conversation reveals how societal norms have shaped the adoption journey, from legal battles to the internal struggles that adoptees continue to face.The Fight for Every Adoptee’s Right to Know - Rich recounts his work to bring truth to light for adoptees, including groundbreaking legal wins in Colorado that are breaking down barriers for adopted people everywhere.Guest link:
For the Record(s) the musical
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In this special Halloween crossover episode, Corey and Kendall invite listeners into the unique space where family stories and horror healing meet. As the founders of both Family Twist and Horror Heals, Corey and Kendall explore the ways that family traditions, especially around Halloween, can bring people closer together—even in the most unexpected ways.
Our guest, Darin, is a Halloween enthusiast and devoted family man who has woven spooky traditions into his family life. Together, Corey, Kendall, and Darin share memories of haunted houses, eerie movie marathons, and the comforting nostalgia that horror can bring. Corey also opens up about his own childhood experiences and how horror became a source of resilience and connection during challenging times.
Listeners of both Family Twist and Horror Heals will find familiar themes of family bonds, trauma healing, and the unexpected ways horror can play a role in mental wellness. This Halloween, join us as we celebrate the magic that horror and family can create together.
Listen now and get inspired to make this Halloween one to remember, filled with treats, traditions, and a little horror magic!
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In this special crossover bonus episode, we share an insightful conversation from our sister podcast, Horror Heals, where we explore how horror can be a powerful tool for healing trauma. Corey and Kendall dive into Kendall’s adoption journey and DNA found family story, connecting it to the themes of resilience and recovery that often arise in both horror films and real-life experiences.
What Your Therapist Isn’t Telling YouGuest: Dr. Ashley Allen
We’re joined by Dr. Ashley Allen, a licensed clinical psychologist with expertise in mood disorders, PTSD, grief, and trauma. Known for her work with neurodivergent LGBTQ+ individuals, Ashley offers a surprising perspective on how horror films can provide emotional processing, catharsis, and empowerment.
What We Discuss:
Kendall’s adoption story: A personal look at how Kendall’s DNA found family story ties into themes of trauma, discovery, and healing.The link between horror and mental health: How horror can help individuals cope with anxiety, PTSD, and mood disorders by creating a controlled environment for confronting fears.Horror as a therapeutic tool: Why Dr. Ashley Allen introduces horror to her neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ clients to foster resilience and provide a sense of control over their emotions.The inclusive nature of horror conventions: How horror fan communities offer nonjudgmental, safe spaces for those who often feel like outsiders.Facing fears through film: Exploring how horror allows both therapists and clients to tackle real-life challenges by building resilience through fictional fear.Key Takeaways:
Horror movies can offer a unique therapeutic experience, allowing people to process trauma and gain control over their emotions in a safe way.The horror community often serves as an inclusive, accepting space for neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ individuals to connect with others and find empowerment.By confronting fictional fears, people can build resilience and emotional strength that helps them tackle real-life challenges.Quotes from Dr. Ashley Allen:
"For those with trauma or mood disorders, horror offers a controlled way to confront overwhelming emotions.""Horror creates a safe space for fear—perfect for my neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ clients to find empowerment and relief.""Even therapists sometimes need an escape; for me, horror provides that in the most cathartic way."Listen to the Full Episode:
If you’re curious about how horror can unlock new paths to healing, don’t miss this powerful conversation. Tune in to learn how fictional fear can transform into real-life resilience. And be sure to check out more episodes from Horror Heals for similar stories of healing through horror.
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In Part 2 of our heartfelt conversation with Cree filmmaker, Kristal Parke, we explore her journey of reconnecting with her Opaskwayak Cree Nation roots and her Sicilian heritage. From embracing her Indigenous identity to the emotional weight of her birth family reunion, Kristal reflects on how her documentary, Because She’s Adopted, has helped her and others process the deep impacts of adoption. Join us as we dive into the transformative power of heritage and family bonds.
Discovering Roots in Sicily and Indigenous HeritageKey Moments:
• Revisiting Sicily and the Opaskwayak Cree Nation: Kristal’s feeling of “coming home.”
• Cultural and personal growth: What it means to be adopted and indigenous.
• The making of Because She’s Adopted and its continued healing impact.
• Reflections on family, self-compassion, and emotional honesty.
Guest links:
Kristal's website
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In this powerful episode of Family Twist, Corey and Kendall Stulce sit down with Cree filmmaker and adoptee, Kristal Parke, to discuss her impactful documentary Because She’s Adopted. Kristal’s film dives deep into the complex emotional landscape of adoption, exploring themes like the primal wound, hidden trauma, and how adoptees often navigate identity challenges and mask their pain.
Kristal shares her journey of meeting her birth mother—an experience that profoundly shaped her sense of self. Corey and Kendall, who have had their own transformative reunion experiences, explore these themes with Kristal, discussing the intricate ways family, whether by blood or bond, influences identity. Kristal also offers a glimpse into her upcoming six-part podcast series, Because She’s Adopted, which promises to take listeners even deeper into the topics of her documentary.
This episode offers insightful perspectives on adoption’s impact on identity and the journey toward healing, making it a must-listen for anyone interested in family dynamics, belonging, and self-discovery.
Key Talking Points:Introduction to Kristal Parke and Her Documentary: Overview of Because She’s Adopted and Kristal’s experiences as a filmmaker and adoptee.The Primal Wound and Hidden Trauma: Exploring how early separation and loss impact adoptees, often resulting in a lifelong sense of “otherness.”Kristal’s Reunion with Her Birth Mother: A moving recount of her reunion and the significance of this experience in her life.Adoption, Identity, and Healing: Insights on the complex ways adoption affects one’s identity, the trauma adoptees often carry, and the healing journey.Kristal’s Upcoming Podcast, Because She’s Adopted: Preview of her limited-series podcast, a deep dive into the documentary’s central themes.Corey and Kendall’s Personal Reflections on Adoption: Their own family stories, reunions, and the ways adoption has shaped their lives.Embracing Cultural Heritage and Identity: Kristal’s journey in reconnecting with her Cree heritage and Sicilian family, along with Kendall’s discovery of his Irish roots.Family Reunions and Self-Discovery: The experiences of meeting birth family members, embracing cultural roots, and finding a deeper understanding of self.
Memorable Quotes:“There’s this nagging feeling adoptees have that you can’t put your finger on—it’s the trauma, the separation trauma.” — Kristal Parke“Meeting my birth mother was a profound moment. I never expected the overwhelming emotions that would follow me for years.” — Kristal Parke“Every adoptee’s story is different, but somehow they’re all the same, too. There’s an unspoken bond in shared experiences of separation and healing.” — Corey StulceGuest links:
Kristal's website
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In this episode of Family Twist, Corey and Kendall Austin Stulce reflect on their Halloween experiences growing up, contrasting their childhood traditions and the cultural perceptions of Halloween. They delve into the significance of community and identity, particularly in relation to donor conception and adoption. The conversation also explores the positive impact of horror culture on mental wellness, emphasizing the importance of sharing personal stories and experiences.
Support Lauren LoGuidice’s short film "Honestly" via Seed & Spark
Takeaways
Halloween was a fun and creative time for Kendall's family.
Corey's parents straddled the line between fun and conservative values.
Trick or treating was a strategic event in Kendall's childhood.
Generational differences in Halloween celebrations are notable.
Horror culture can provide a sense of community and belonging.
The importance of embracing one's identity is highlighted.
Mental wellness can be positively influenced by horror movies.
Sharing personal stories can help others heal from trauma.
The podcast aims to connect with more guests who have unique stories.
Community support is vital for those with adoption or donor conception experiences.
Key Topics Discussed:
Kendall’s unique Southern Baptist Halloween experiences growing up with his adoptive parentsCorey and Kendall’s first Halloween together as a couple, dressed in Rocky Horror Picture Show costumesA fan's personal story of using horror movies to cope with traumaReflections on family trauma, including Kendall’s father’s alcoholismSupport for past guest Lauren Lowe’s donor conception short film projectCrossover themes between Family Twist and Horror Heals podcasts
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In this episode of Family Twist, Corey and Kendall Stulce sit down with David to explore the profound and raw themes of relinquishment, addiction, and healing. The conversation starts with an intriguing discussion about the Blue Mind movement, the scientifically backed benefits of water for mental health. David shares how being near water has become a personal meditative tool that helps him stay grounded in a chaotic world.
Relinquishment, Addiction, and the Healing Power of WaterAs the episode unfolds, David opens up about his own adoption experience, the complex emotions around relinquishment, and how discovering the term “primal wound” helped him better understand the trauma associated with being an adoptee. Corey and Kendall reflect on similar experiences, making this conversation deeply personal and emotional.
The episode also delves into David's struggles with addiction and how it began as a means of self-medication for the pain he couldn’t fully articulate. His raw account of navigating through trauma, rejection, and the search for identity will resonate with many in the adoption and recovery communities.
Key topics include:
Blue Mind: The healing power of water and its meditative qualities.The primal wound: Understanding pre-verbal trauma in adoptees.Relinquishment and its impact on identity and attachment.Addiction as a coping mechanism for trauma.The journey of self-discovery and healing through recovery.
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Hello, friends! Kendall and Corey launch their new podcast, Horror Heals, today, and we wanted to share one of the first episodes with you. If you like, please share, subscribe and review.
Have friends or family who might like horror? Please share!
And subscribe and leave a review so we can reach more people
who need to know that Horror Heals!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-horror-heals-podcast/id1764754181
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/corey-stulce3
https://www.youtube.com/@horrorhealspodcast
https://horrorheals.com/#
Suggest a guest:
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In this compelling episode of the Family Twist podcast,
Corey and Kendall Stulce sit down with Lezlee, author of If You Only Knew:
Navigating DNA Surprises and the NPE World. Lezlee shares her deeply
personal story of uncovering a life-changing truth about her biological father
through a decade-long journey of DNA testing and family revelations. She
candidly discusses the emotional turmoil, the impact of long-kept family secrets,
and the complex relationships that ensued. Lezlee also highlights the importance
of community and support in navigating the NPE (Not Parent Expected)
experience, offering insights and advice to others who might be on a similar
path. This episode is part one of a two-part series, exploring the intricacies of family, identity, and the quest for truth.
If You Only Knew: Navigating DNA Surprises and the NPE WorldKey Topics Discussed:
Lezlee’s journey of discovery and the significance of the phrase, “If you only knew.”The emotional impact of discovering the truth about her biological father.The role of DNA testing in uncovering family secrets.The complex relationships with her birth certificate father, biological father, and extended family.The challenges and emotional toll of confronting family members and dealing with denial.The importance of community, support, and sharing stories in the NPE experience.The impact of losing key family members who held valuable pieces of her history.Notable Quotes:
“We’re just the product of this situation. We didn’t ask for this to happen.”“Blood is not thicker than water; we choose our family through love and connection.”“It’s a race against time—knowing your past is your right.”Resources Mentioned:
Lezlee's book: If You Only Knew: Navigating DNA Surprises and the NPE WorldNPE community resources and support groups
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In this compelling episode of the Family Twist podcast,
Corey and Kendall Stulce sit down with Lezlee, author of If You Only Knew:
Navigating DNA Surprises and the NPE World. Lezlee shares her deeply
personal story of uncovering a life-changing truth about her biological father
through a decade-long journey of DNA testing and family revelations. She
candidly discusses the emotional turmoil, the impact of long-kept family secrets,
and the complex relationships that ensued. Lezlee also highlights the importance
of community and support in navigating the NPE (Not Parent Expected)
experience, offering insights and advice to others who might be on a similar
path. This episode is part one of a two-part series, exploring the intricacies of family, identity, and the quest for truth.
If You Only Knew: Navigating DNA Surprises and the NPE WorldKey Topics Discussed:
Lezlee’s journey of discovery and the significance of the phrase, “If you only knew.”The emotional impact of discovering the truth about her biological father.The role of DNA testing in uncovering family secrets.The complex relationships with her birth certificate father, biological father, and extended family.The challenges and emotional toll of confronting family members and dealing with denial.The importance of community, support, and sharing stories in the NPE experience.The impact of losing key family members who held valuable pieces of her history.Notable Quotes:
“We’re just the product of this situation. We didn’t ask for this to happen.”“Blood is not thicker than water; we choose our family through love and connection.”“It’s a race against time—knowing your past is your right.”Resources Mentioned:
Lezlee's book: If You Only Knew: Navigating DNA Surprises and the NPE WorldNPE community resources and support groupsPart Two Teaser: Stay tuned for the next episode where Lezlee dives deeper into the challenges of connecting with her biological father's family and how she found healing through community and storytelling.
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In this episode of the Family Twist podcast, Kendall takes the reins as he engages in a heartfelt conversation with fellow adoptee, Greg Gentry. The two discuss their adoption experiences, touching on the challenges of reunion with biological families, the emotional impact of discovering one’s adoption later in life, and the ongoing journey of healing and understanding. Kendall and Greg find common ground in their stories, offering insights into the complexities of adoption and reunion, as well as the importance of grace and patience in these deeply personal journeys.
Challenging the Concept of Anonymity in AdoptionMain Topics, Points, and IdeasGreg's Adoption DiscoveryGreg shares his experience of learning about his adoption at age 10, describing how it was a sudden and life-altering moment.He reflects on the shift in his relationships with his adoptive family after this discovery, noting a sense of disconnection that persisted throughout his life."I remember my whole world shifting, feeling it shift, feeling my connection with my adoptive sisters shift." – Greg Gentry
Closed Adoption and the Search for IdentityGreg discusses the challenges of being adopted in a closed adoption system, including the difficulties in accessing his birth records and non-identifying information.Despite being in partial reunion, Greg still struggles with feelings of exclusion and the emotional barriers that exist between him and his biological mother."Even as an adoptee out of the fog, I feel like it would be a hurtful situation to ask for my own information, which is unfortunate." – Greg Gentry
The Impact of Reunion on RelationshipsBoth Greg and Kendall explore the emotional complexities of reuniting with their biological families. Greg speaks candidly about the difficulties he’s faced in maintaining a relationship with his birth mother, who has yet to fully embrace him.Kendall shares his own experiences of reunion, reflecting on the stark differences between his adoptive family's close-knit nature and the more distant relationships he has with his biological relatives."It's almost like I was just late to the party. And so now I'm supposed to go stand in the corner." – Greg Gentry
The Emotional Toll of Adoption and ReunionThe episode delves into the emotional toll that adoption and reunion can take on adoptees, particularly when expectations are not met, and relationships remain strained.Greg expresses his frustration with the lack of connection and the ongoing struggle to feel validated by his birth family."It can make a person feel like they doubt the worthiness of their own existence. Do I have a right to be here?" – Greg Gentry
Finding Grace and HealingKendall emphasizes the importance of finding grace and understanding in these difficult situations, recognizing that everyone involved carries their own emotional burdens.The conversation highlights the need for patience and self-care as both Kendall and Greg continue to navigate their complex family dynamics."I need to continue to find grace for others because I get so caught up in my own story that I don't stop and think." – Kendall Stulce
Looking ForwardThe episode closes with both Kendall and Greg expressing hope for the future, acknowledging the challenges ahead but also the potential for growth and healing.Kendall invites Greg to return to the podcast in the future to update listeners on how his journey progresses."Thank you so much for joining me. And again, I'd like to have you back on and talk about things that have progressed." – Kendall Stulce
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In part two of this conversation, Kendall Stulce and guest, Lori Evans Ermi, discuss their experiences with adoption and the importance of community and education. They share their personal stories of reunion and the challenges and joys that come with it. They also touch on the need for adoptees to be seen and recognized, and the importance of understanding and respecting different perspectives within the adoption community. The conversation concludes with a discussion about their upcoming podcast and the power of music in connecting with others.
Adoption Songs Part TwoTakeaways
Adoption can bring both challenges and joys, and it's important to recognize and respect the different experiences and perspectives within the adoption community.
Adoptees have a deep desire to be seen and recognized, and it's important to ask adoptees about their experiences and listen to their stories.
Community and education are crucial in supporting adoptees and creating a more understanding and inclusive society.
Music can be a powerful tool for connecting with others and expressing emotions related to adoption.
Reunion can be a complex and ongoing process, and it's important to approach it with caution and respect for everyone involved.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Personal Adoption Stories
09:26 The Importance of Community and Education
13:47 The Power of Music in Adoption
16:55 Understanding and Respecting Different Perspectives
21:13 The Complexities of Reunion in Adoption
Lori's site, Adoption Songs
Guest bio: Lori Evans Ermi is a domestic, baby scoop era adoptee and lives in the Washington, DC suburbs of Maryland with her daughter Kate, and loyal pup Oreo. She enjoys golf, theater, music and wine country. Lori is the founder and Managing Director of The Ermi Group, LLC, a leadership coaching and development firm.
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In this episode of Family Twist, Lori shares her extraordinary journey of adoption, intertwined with her love for music and family dynamics. Lori recalls her experiences and mesmerizes with stories about her daughter, an adoptee and a gifted singer who deeply contributed to her book's unique concept of pairing adoption stories with songs. Lori also discusses how music has been a healing force through life's challenges, such as her divorce and navigating adoption trauma. The episode beautifully weaves through personal anecdotes, heartfelt discussions on family relationships, and the therapeutic power of music, highlighting the profound connections and struggles inherent in the adoption journey.
Adoption Songs Part 100:00 Introduction and Summit Experience
00:45 The Musical Inspiration Behind the Book
02:05 Vinyl Collection and Family Music Traditions
03:34 Personal Stories and Adoption Journey
06:12 Navigating Adoption and Personal Growth
14:08 Adoption Decision and Signs
17:07 The Adoption Process and Final Thoughts
Lori's site, Adoption Songs
Guest bio: Lori Evans Ermi is a domestic, baby scoop era adoptee and lives in the Washington, DC suburbs of Maryland with her daughter Kate, and loyal pup Oreo. She enjoys golf, theater, music and wine country. Lori is the founder and Managing Director of The Ermi Group, LLC, a leadership coaching and development firm.
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