Episoder
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November 11th 2024
Yuriy reflects on personal experiences and emotions tied to a celebration that wasn't as cheerful as expected. He delves into the nuances of how joyful occasions can sometimes carry a weight of melancholy.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
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Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is November 11.
Today is my birthday. I turned 44. When I joined the Army I was 41 when the war started with the annexation of Crimea and the occupation of Donbas I was 33. So, a quarter of my life has been directly tied to the war. I've spent almost a thousand days in the military and we are going through very difficult days right now.
North Koreans are fighting against against us. Iranian drones and missiles are flying at us and unfortunately, it is still unclear what Western World will decide regarding, regarding further support for us.
Almost a thousand days in the Army... Trust me, that's a lot for someone who never thought about building a military career and was already planning a quiet pre retirement life. pre retirement life without previously very frequent Middle East trips or other adventures.
These almost a thousand days in the Army means really a lot because in 2022, I was given only a couple of weeks to live. All our nation was given only two weeks. Free world was ready to sacrifice us for, I still don't know for what. Maybe for an illusion that for the Russians, destruction of Ukraine will be enough and they will not go any farther. Stupid and dangerous illusion. And very pricey. But we survived. And thanks to my brave brothers and sisters in arms, I can live to one more birthday. Today is also my mother's birthday. She gave birth to me on her own special day, and it's also my brother's birthday. He's only 20 minutes older than me. But I don't even want to mention him with traitor who's still sitting in Moscow.
When I first celebrated my birthday in the Army in November, 2022, I had a hope for a miracle. After all, it was on November 11 that the first World War ended, so why couldn't this war ends on November 11 as well? But nothing happened then and nothing in 2023 ever. And now in 2024, it's just another day of war. Nothing special, just the same as the nearly thousand days before it.
I've never had any particular rituals connected to my birthday, and even if I had, I would not be able to keep them. Many of the people who used to congratulate me have died. Some have cowardly the fled the country, and others are now going through the own tragedies linked to the loss or injury of well loved ones, so they certainly don't have time for me.
A gloomy celebration, right? But really none of our holidays are joyful right now. Still. I'm grateful to have you and to be able to tell you everything honestly. Well then, happy birthday to me.
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Nov 4th 2024
Yuriy outlines the new phase of conflict where Ukraine faces off against both Russian and North Korean forces, examining the geopolitical ramifications and the hesitations of Western allies.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is 4th of November.
Our work has entered a new phase. This is obvious. First of all, we are now facing two regular armies: the Russian and the North Korean. Over 10,000 soldiers of that stupid greedy Kim have already taken positions with the Russians near the Ukrainian border, and thousands more are currently preparing in military camps in the Far East. This completely changes the configuration of the war.
Previously, all the Putin allies, the likes of Lukashenko, the half-dead Iranian, Ayatollahs and Kim, numbed by his own life of luxury- limited their support to supplying weapons, or providing territory for invasion. Now, everything has changed. We are facing two regular armies and both from countries with nuclear weapons.
And where is our nuclear arsenal? We had one. Oh right, we gave it up in the 1990s in exchange for promises to respect our sovereignty and to keep our borders intact. And who made those promises? Russia, who took our weapons and now is destroying our country. And who was the guarantor of those promises? Who assured us that life without the bomb would be better and safer? The United Kingdom and the United States. Google the Budapest memorandum if you don't know this story.
Please don't think that I'm an ungrateful wretch who's forgotten all the weapons and other aid the Western countries have given us. I actually remember and deeply appreciate it, but I also know that we could destroy the Northern Korean expeditionary forces right now, before they have the chance to kill wound or rape anyone. Yet we don't have permission from Washington or our capitals to do so. They've told us directly: as soon as we cross the border, hit them with our weapons. Until then, no, no, no.
We are also not allowed to use Western missiles to destroy the Russian air fields from which planes launch daily to bomb our cities. We're also forbidden to strike at their drone stockpiles. Have you seen these drones? They are huge, the size of the car, packed with explosives powerful enough to demolish an entire building. Just in the past few days, strikes by wars, drones on Ukrainian apartments have killed two children.
These drones- and this is another indicator of a changing nature of the war- are now being used much more frequently here even deadlier explosives. Thermobaric ones. When they explode, they burn everything around them, including people. I've seen how they work. No horror film could show you this, but we all see it every day.
Remember that you can support me. It's still extremely important. Without this help, things would be much harder for me than they are now. All details are in the description. I'll be back soon with shall we say a special episode because my birthday is coming up soon
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Manglende episoder?
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October 23rd 2024
Yuriy recounts the tragic effects of the war on everyday life, emphasizing the shift in mindset even among children. As he shares heart-breaking stories of loss and fear, the harsh reality of living in a constant state of danger becomes evident.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It's October 23.
Russians killed a 14-year-old girl in Sumy. They simply sheltered with city and hit her while she was walking her dog. The dog is gravely injured and its honor is dead. In Kherson a Russian FPV drone killed a doctor while he was driving to a patient. Near Kharkiv, a bread truck driver died after ran over a mine, left by Russians. Russian missiles flew several thousand kilometers and killed a mother and her three daughters in Lviv.
Russians kill civilians every day. Every single day. All over Ukraine. Imagine we are the largest country in Europe- almost twice the size of Germany, yet there are no safe places here. Our insane neighbor can strike anywhere. And it's been like this for nearly three years now. In these three years, we have turned into a nation of fatalists. I constantly hear people, both civilians and soldiers, talking about the future, saying things like "if I survive" or "if I'm not killed by them."
It's become so common that it no longer sounds jarring as it did few years ago. Everyone talks like this now, warning that we might not be able to do something or travel somewhere if they get wounded or killed by the next Russian attack. This has long become a crucial factor in planning anything. But for a long time, I fought this, only applied to adults. And do you know why? Because I hadn't been around children for a while. But recently, I had to be.
About a week ago, I was waiting out a very loud shelling taking shelter under the canopy of an entrance of some building I was walking by when the shelling started. It's already a habit -if you get caught outside during a shelling, find some sort of roof to avoid getting hit by shrapnel. Next to me was a young woman with a boy of about six years old. When an explosion went off very close by the child had a full blown panic attack. He turned pale, started shaking, and it seemed like he was about to pass out from fear. His mother, hugging him, started telling him how we would break a pie together in the evening, how we would go for a walk when the shelling stopped, and how we would watch his favorite cartoon before bed.
Listen, I just hadn't thought about this. I didn't really understand how children experience the war. They live in constant fear and it's much harder for them than for adults. And they no longer say, "when I grow up" they say "if I grow up." At the very least, that boy asked his mother, if I grow up and finish school, will the war still be going on?
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October 9th 2024
Yuriy shares his thoughts on the future, the new projects he's embarking on, and the true stories of resilience and hope from Ukraine. Plus, find out how you can support his work and read his latest Substack post: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/ruins-of-palestine
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
I've written a new post for Substack. It's about Hamas, Palestine, and Israel. Check it out if you are interested in this topic. I'll add a link to it in the description of this episode. It's important to me. Although, I feel like over time, my writing isn't as vivid and sharp as it used to be. After all, practice is key to any craft. I don't have as much of it as I once did. I'm losing skills with once seemed natural skills I thought I had mastered for good. I don't know what the future holds. Maybe I'll have to find a new job after the war. Maybe no one will hire me as a reporter anymore. They might say "old man, your time has passed. Go away."
I'll think about this often, about the future, and honestly, it doesn't bring me much joy. But in recent days, I found rays of hope. I've put together my own small studio, bought microphones and a mixer. Everything is almost new. I've already recorded a radio play with this equipment, a real play. But in podcast form.
I also have plans to translate and record a podcast play based on the script my friends wrote about how he lost his leg after stepping on the Russian mine. It's just a man who wrote a play about losing a limb about his comrades, pulled him out under fire, how he lost consciousness, how he joked, and how we joked with him during the evacuation. Sometimes it's terrifying and sometimes it's hilarious, just like life, and it's the true story of a real hero.
The Ukrainian version is already been recorded and edited. Thanks to all of you for your support. I bought the studio equipment with the money you are still sending me. There is still small debt left, but together we'll manage it. I'm sure of that. Thank you once again. Read my text on Substack, help Ukraine and never give up.
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October 1st 2024
Yuriy underscores the critical role the Ukrainian army plays in defending not just Ukraine but the broader Western world against Russian aggression. He highlights Russia's inhumane military practices and warns of their intentions to use subjugated Ukrainians to wage war against NATO, emphasizing the importance of supporting Ukraine in its fight for freedom.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
I think some of my listeners abroad believe that I'm exaggerating a bit when I say that the Ukrainians are now defending them too, that I'm deliberately overstating the importance of the Ukrainian army, but that's not the case. In the description of this episode, I will leave a link to the military plans of so-called Russian Ministry of Defense. You will be able to read them using an online translator, or you might not need to read them- I will tell you a bit about them and provide some explanations.
Let's start with the fact that they still call the war in Ukraine a, liberation one. They came to "liberate" Russians according to very bizarre calculations. Just recently, 96.7% of people in Ukraine were Russians. Where this number came from, don't ask. I don't know. It's some special Putin science- counting Russians where they don't exist. So, next, the Russian military rights that were insidious West imposed some wrong values on these Russians and turn them into enemies of Russia. And that's precisely why putin started this war to turn this, 96.7% of Ukrainians into Russians.
And do you know why Putin needs these people- and we are talking about millions of people? Can you guess? Well, okay. I will tell you to be at the forefront of the armies that will march under Putin's command to destroy the West, which on the official website of the Russian Ministry of Defense is called 'Satanic'. The ultimate goal is to bring all of Eastern Europe back under Moscow's control. In other words, the Russians openly say, they want to fight NATO, but with the hands of subjugated Ukrainians.
Is it possible to send Ukrainians to fight against their Western neighbors? Well look at two. Today's Russian army, it is more than half made up of conquered peoples from the Caucuses, Siberia, and other regions. It has thousands of Chechens, including wars, who just recently -20 years ago- fought against Moscow for independence, but now they're fighting for the very people who turned Chechnya into a damn feudal khanate with portraits of Putin who killed tens of thousands of Chechens on every corner.
And there are also many Ukrainians in the Russian army from the occupied territories. They did not join because they suddenly wanted to fight for the invaders. No, they were simply grabbed of the streets, taken to the military base and made cannon fodder. That's right, cannon fodder. The Russian army does not know how to fight any other way.
And the fact that you haven't experienced it yourself yet, the fact that this father isn't storming your cities, the fact that your loved ones haven't been forcibly sent to be part of this Russian cannon fodder, all this is thanks to Ukraine. By the way, today is October 1st, the day of Defenders of Ukraine. So don't forget to congratulate your Ukrainian friends. They deserve it.
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September 23rd 2024
Yuriy he recounts his recent travels across war-torn Ukraine, including a visit to his hometown of Kharkiv. In this episode, Yuriy delves into health issues exacerbated by constant stress, the agony of seeing his city under attack, misguided foreign perspectives on the war, and heartbreaking stories of Russian oppression. He ends on a hopeful note by discussing his involvement in a veterans' theatre project and plans for a new podcast initiative.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
Hello, I'm back with you again. It's September 23.
I've been away for quite some time. This is partly due to health issues, which are certainly not getting any better under constant stress, and partly because over the past few weeks I've had to travel around Ukraine for my military duties. I even visited my hometown of Kharkiv, which suffers from daily bombings, where soon there won't be a single intact window left and which the Russians are trying to simply destroy. It's an incredibly heavy feeling- being in the city of my childhood, the city of my daughters childhood, and witnessing how it suffers from shelling, how people there are in agony, it's unimaginably difficult.
The only thing harder is reading how foreign commentators are teaching us how we should deal with Russians. Lately, I've been coming across more and more advice from foreigners directed at Ukrainians, which sounds more like calls for capitulation. Of course, if they don't phrase it that way. Usually, it's just amusing about how one can live under any regime and, but it's not necessary worth suffering and dying just to prevent your state's flag flattering over your city being replaced with that of another country. I even suspect that these aren't Russian bots, but real people from Western countries who just don't fully understand what's actually happening here. What this war is truly about. Let me give you some examples.
A few months ago, two Ukrainian priests were released from Russian captivity. They had been captured in the Kherson region at the beginning of a full scale invasion. They weren't chaplains. They had no ties to the military. We were simply from a church that were Russian authorities deemed uncanonical and incorrect because it does not recognize the primacy of Moscow and holds services in Ukrainian language. Just four this, the two priests were arrested, sent to camps, tortured and abused. Naturally their congregation, was given a "proper" priest. One with a Russian passport, a prayer book edited to feed the times, and probably an FSB ID too.
In occupied territories, not only praying in Ukrainian forbidden, but even speaking, it is prohibited. That's why the occupiers immediately destroy all books in schools and libraries burned down the offices of Ukrainian language publications and bomb printing houses. Russians boast in very news about sending a young shop assistant from the occupied territories to prison for greeting customers in Ukrainian, out of habit, not knowing that they were Russian soldiers. For the simple words, 'good day' in a banned language, she was sent to the torture chamber.
The Russians aren't just replacing one flag with another; they want everyone to immediately become Russian to forget, their language renowned their faith and even throw away favorite books into the fire. This is a deliberate destruction of everything that matters to a person. Everything that makes a person human. Their history, their roots, their understanding of the world. None of that is supposed to remain. The Russian government has restructured its own country into a vast territory, full of people without their own thoughts, without their own views, without their own values. Everyone is ordered to love what we're told to love, hate what we're told to hate, and ignore everything, not mention it by the authorities. And this is precisely the order they want to force upon Ukraine. And kill anyone who disagrees.
I don't think it's worth ending on a said note again. So here's some good news. I'm currently serving in a unit that, among other things, focuses on the rehabilitation of veterans and war disabled individuals. We even have a special project, the Veteran's Theater, where 15 veterans have been trained in the basics of dramaturgy and have written their own plays about our war. I've joined this work and now I'm working on creating a Veterans Podcast where we will record the plays in radio format and discuss them.
I'm slowly putting together a studio for this. I've already bought a recorder and one microphone. I'll be ordering two more microphones and a mixer, even if we're slightly used, very soon. And all of these. Thanks to you. Without your help, I would not have the money to set up the studio that we are building right now. There wouldn't be the opportunity for war scared people who engaged in creativity and share the stories of the world. True stories of heroism and resistance. And you are all directly part of this because if you are listening to me and helping -you are the resistance.
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August 28th 2024
Yuriy notes that last weekend marked two and a half years since the start of the war in Ukraine and he reflects on the profound losses and relentless struggle for survival. He calls on listeners to support Ukraine, emphasizing the dire consequences if the world neglects their plight.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is August 28th.
Last weekend, marked exactly two and a half years since I joined the Army. It's quite a long time. During this period, I found many new friends and lost many old ones to death or disappearance. During this time, my parents became refugees, my brother turned into a traitor and I started and almost gave up on making a podcast. I've been on many fronts, hid from shelling in Bakhmut, and saw the' Russians fleeing from Kharkiv. So much has happened. So many people have died in these two years. So much pain and blood.
I've also seen how the rhetoric of Kremlin agents in the West has changed. At first, they claimed that helping Ukraine was pointless, but it wouldn't last even a couple of weeks and that the Russians would quickly seize the entire country. Then we screamed about Nazis, about terrible oppression of Russian-speaking Ukrainians that Putin was supposedly rescuing. Later, when it became obvious that the regions suffering the most destruction and deaths were war with large Russian speaking populations, these creatures started scaring the world with the threat of nuclear war if Putin began to lose.
Now we have a new narrative. I constantly see Americans and Europeans saying things like, "Not a cent of aid to Ukraine as long as our country has homeless veterans." This is not just nonsense, it's a crime. If the citizens of free countries stop helping Ukraine, you will all turn into homeless veterans- your children, your elderly parents, your friends, and your loved ones. If Ukraine falls, you'll all even be dead or homeless veterans. And you will consider yourself lucky if you become homeless veterans of your own national armies that have defended their independence at the cost of completely destroyed cities and enormous human losses.
Because there is a high chance that you'll become homeless veterans of fascist Russian army. It is forming entire brigades of people from occupied territories. It does not care about the motivation or loyalty of such soldiers. They are expendable. Most people driven into these brigades spent a couple of weeks on the front lines. Then they either die or are severely wounded and remain disabled homeless veterans for life. And you'll be among them if Ukraine does not stand. Putin will need a lot of canon fodder for world domination and he's delighted when in another fool writes "not a cent for Ukraine" because that fool is his potential soldier. Help Ukraine. Two and a half years of war is very long and very difficult, but we are holding on and you should too. Believe me, it's much, much harder for us here.
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August 22nd 2024
Yuriy vividly recounts Ukraine's bold offensive into Russia, drawing parallels with General Sherman's historic march. As he shares his personal reflections and hopes for a decisive victory, Yuriy provides a raw and insightful perspective on the ongoing conflict.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is August 22.
What you've read in textbooks, what you've seen in Epic paintings, and what has inspired you is happening right now. The Ukrainian Army is now replicating General Sherman's March through Georgia in Russia's Kursk region. Yes, it is the closest historical analogy. It's a strike at the enemies rear, a demoralizing strike, a painful strike with a far reaching, though still unclear to many, consequences.
One of the main tasks of any army forced to fight a war on its own territory is to transfer this war to the enemies territory. So that it's their, the enemies, cities and villages being destroyed by artillery. Their civilian population turning into refugees and their, not our, fields and factories burning from direct shelling.
For two and a half years, Ukraine fought with a wild and impossible limitation: our partners gave us weapons, but forbid us from using them outside of Ukraine. We had no rights to strike military targets in Russia while Russia had no such restrictions. Now, everything is changing. We are bringing the war to the territory of the aggressor country. They have sown the wind, and now we will reap whirlwind.
I would like our offensive to be exactly like Sherman's- all, the way to the sea, the baltic or the white sea, with the destruction of everything in its path, cutting the enemy fronts in half. Of course, it won't be that way- these are different times with different weapons, tactics, and logistics. But what is happening now is history, something that could become a turning point in this war. The Russians dreamed of capturing Kyiv in three days, but now over 900 days into their three day war, they are losing village after village on their own territory.
It's been a long time since I have had a real reason for good cheer, but now I'm almost dancing- we have thrown the fire of war back to where it came from. Now we must push forward and not stop. I confess I'm a bit envious of my comrades who are now fighting in the Kursk region. When I left Russia more than 10 years ago, I told myself I would never return to that wretched, racist country. But now I realize that I would gladly go there for a couple of months in a Ukrainian tank.
If I do get there, and there is always a chance, I will certainly tell you about it. But for now, wish us all and all of Ukraine luck. Let Moscow be burned and its cannibalistic regime destroyed forever.
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August 5th 2024
Yuriy unravels the shocking truth behind a supposed ally—a Spanish journalist who turned out to be a Russian spy. Yuriy describes a real-life encounter with a Russian intelligence agent and the haunting aftermath of betrayal on the front lines of Ukraine.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It's August five.
I'm truly burnt out, which makes it difficult for me to do even simple tasks. Honestly, I even wanted to take a couple more weeks off from recording any episodes, but a few days ago I received a few dozen dollars on PayPal from you and realized that I still have an obligation to you. Today, I will tell you a real spy thriller to which I, for a long time without realizing it had a connection.
You have probably heard that last week there was an exchange of convicts between Russia and Western countries. The Russians sent to Europe and the USA journalists and several minor local and anti Putin politicians, and in return, they received a bunch of real criminals, illegal agents who hunted for secret information, hackers who stole money from Western citizens and transferred it to accounts associated with Russian special services and even real hired killers. I must admit, I personally know one of those whom the Russians pulled out from behind bars.
We met in 2014, a few weeks after the then limited Russian invasion of Ukraine. At that time, we seized Donetsk and Luhansk, and there was a threat of an advance on the city of Dnipro. In the summer and autumn of 2014, there were a lot of journalists there, including foreigners. Among them was a Basque with a Spanish passport who spoke Russian with a noticeable accent, but very well. He eagerly told everyone that his grandmother and grandfather fled to the Soviet Union during the Spanish civil War, learned the language there, passed the knowledge on to their grandson. His name was Pablo Gonzalez.
At first, this name seemed too charicatured to me; there is no more stereotypical Spanish name in the world than Pabla Gonzales, but I did not pay attention to it at that time. Gonzales was as pro Ukrainian as possible. He condemned the Russian aggression, supported the revolution, and even criticized the West for insufficient support for Ukraine. He visited Kyiv and our cities quite often, and he even had a Ukrainian girlfriend. Usually, he wrote to me a few days before his arrival and invited me to a bar. I always declined and instead invited him to my radio show. It was actually interesting- a Spanish journalist, a Basque supports Ukraine, talks about what Europe and USA should do to help us and mentions details of political life in Spain and other countries unknown to the broader Ukrainian public.
I even encourage my colleagues from our media to contact Pablo if they needed someone knowledgeable about European affairs and people indeed contacted him. Pablo's round face with a truly Spanish conquistador-like beard occasionally appeared on Ukrainian television.
Then the big war came. I quit journalism and joined the Army, and I forgot about Pablo as well as almost everything from my peaceful life. And a few days ago I read about the exchange. The article had a photo of the exchanged. Among them was the portrait of Pablo Gonzalez. As it turned out, he was neither Pablo, nor Gonzalez. His name was Pavel Rubstov. He's a Russian intelligence agent. His task was to establish friendly relations with journalists and politicians in Ukraine and neighboring countries. He was detained in Poland a few days after the start of a full scale invasion in February, 2022, he was snooping around the Ukrainian border.
He definitely did not learn anything secret from me- I never had access to any secrets, but unfortunately I helped legalized him in Ukraine. Made him recognizable without knowing the truth about him and recommended him to others as a speaker. I feel ashamed and hurt because of this.
Pablo Gonzales. This name is not caricatured as it seemed to me. It is a cover name. Go and try to find data about every Gonzales in the world. He chose it, or rather it was chosen for him by his commanders to lose him among millions of real Gonzalez's.
It's a pity that he was handed over to the Russians. I would like spies to stay behind bars, and I'm also curious about what happened to his Ukrainian girlfriend. Is she also a victim of his deception or an accomplice of a enemy who helped him in his wild work?
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July 26th 2024
Yuriy delves into the story of the small Ukrainian town of New York, which is facing relentless destruction by Russian forces. He highlights the stark contrasts and tragic connections between this town and its namesake in America, highlighting the symbolic and brutal nature of the ongoing conflict.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is July 26.
In Western News, this is not being mentioned, but the Russians are currently wiping New York off the face of Earth. They are dropping bumps from planes, launching missiles and destroying buildings one by one with FPV drones. Many New Yorkers have been killed, and even more locals have become refugees. It is so dangerous to be in New York, but the authorities have banned journalists and our civilians from entering. And this is all true. Except it is not the American, New York, it's a small town with the same name in the Dansk region.
Why and when this Ukrainian town became New York is unknown, but it has been called that at least since 1860. After Second World War during the Cold War, the Soviet authorities renamed the town, but a few months before the full scale invasion, New York once again became New York. Even when it was a frontline town. Since 2014, the frontline has been just a few miles away. The town was constantly sheltered by the Russians who had taken over parts of the Donetsk and Luhansk regions under the guise of local separatists 10 years ago.
Yet the town was alive. A lot of interesting things were happening there. It even had its own literary festival attracting writers from all over Ukraine and even abroad. For a town with a population of just 2000 people, this is very impressive. However, there have not been 2000 people there for a long time. Now, only a few dozen residents remain. The rest either fled or died. Several neighborhoods of a town no longer exist only ruins remain of the homes. The Russians are thrilled about this. Their social networks celebrate with destruction of every house, the killing of every local resident as a holiday. "New York must be destroyed" openly, write, Russian soldiers and propagandists.
There is almost no strategic sense in this destruction. But there is a symbolic one. Propaganda depicts the war for Russians as a heroic confrontation with the West. At the beginning of invasion. Central Russian TV channels showed plans for advancing not only on Kyiv and Lyiv, but also on Warsaw, Berlin, and London, the most zealous propagandists called for immediate bombing of American cities, especially New York as a symbol of American might. Now, after two and a half years with none of their plans realized, the Russians are bombing the New York, they can reach -a small town that bears no resemblance of American one- but we do it with the pomp as if we are destroying the entire Manhattan.
They are obsessed with a desire to destroy, the desire to kill. Honestly, they would bomb the American New York along with Paris, Warsaw and other cities, but in their way stand, small Ukrainian towns and their defenders. The large and vibrant American, New York still lives its usual peaceful life only because the small, unremarkable Ukrainian, New York is dying for it now. Please remember this.
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July 16th 2024
Yuriy explores the chilling synchrony between Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi's acceptance of an honor from Putin and a missile strike on a Ukrainian hospital, showing how tyrants like Putin are normalizing evil today. He also examines how cultural icons and global politicians still engage with Putin, reflecting a troubling ambiguity in the world's stance against Russian aggression.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is July 16.
At the very moment when Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, standing in the Moscow Kremlin bent his neck before Putin to receive the Order of Saint Andrew Kyiv, rescuers were pulling children killed by a Russian missile from the rubble of a hospital. This was not a coincidence. Putin wanted these to events to occur one right after another. It was important for him to show the world that he's not an outcast, that being a criminal and still being a reliable partner for many countries is entirely possible.
One could say that Putin bonded Modi with blood. He orchestrated everything so that these two news stories would follow each other: first, a Russian missile kills Ukrainian children, and then the one who gave order to launch the missile bestows an order on the Prime minister of the country, that calls itself the world's largest democracy. The Indian Prime Minister then muttered something about the necessity of peace, about war not being the answer. But Modi did not discard the foolish dog-collar like order, nor did he admit that his visit to Moscow was a mistake.
Did he not know he was visiting a murderer? A person who has unleashed the bloodiest war in Europe in the last 80 years? That Putin had already killed children in Mariupol, Bucha, and many other cities. He knew everything, saw everything, and accepted everything. He only disliked that Putin decided to strike the Children's Hospital on the very day the Indian delegation arrived. If it happened a day earlier or later, Modi would have completely ignored the death of Ukrainian children.
Perhaps you have not noticed yet, but we are witnessing the normalization of evil. For decades, tyrants of all kinds have hidden way crimes trying to appear courteous and honest. Since Pol Pot, who sent Khmer youth to kill our parents with Host, no one has openly boasted about mass murders and destruction of entire cities. Putin has become the first after Paul Pot, and many are fine with this. It's not just about Modi. A couple of weeks before him, a whole delegation of world musicians who can without ation be called jazz greats visited Moscow. Richard Bona, Allan Harris, Avishai Cohen, Dhafer Youssef and others.
They played at a state organized jazz festival, the faces of this festival were are propagandists who daily talk about how main task of Russians is to kill Ukrainians. Fees came from the same state budget that pays for the production of bombs and missiles to destroy Ukrainian schools and hospitals. And all these stars knew this very well. But they went anyway because evil has been normalized. Because the democratic world has not fully defined its attitude towards Russia. First, greedy fools like Youssef and Cohen go to bow to Putin, then ultra right politicians like Modi and then he will start being accepted in your formerly democratic countries. Or will he not? It depends only on you, on your attitude towards evil and your resistance to its normalization.
Sorry to remind you, but please, if you like my stories, you can always support me with a couple of bucks while donating. You are also fighting against evil.
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July 8th 2024
Yuriy shares his dislike for cinemas but draws powerful parallels between the movie 'Dunkirk' and Ukraine's current war against Russian aggression. He describes the devastating impact of the conflict on civilians, particularly children, and calls for global support to stop the atrocities committed by Russian forces.
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
Subscribe to his substack: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is July 8th.
I don't like going to the cinema. It usually makes me very uncomfortable. Too many people, everything is too loud. It's just not my thing. I went to cinemas so rarely, but I even remember the last movie I watched on the big screen. It was Christopher Nolan's Dunkirk. Moreover, I vividly remember the beginning of a movie. The scene where a British soldier runs through the streets of Dunkirk, stumbles upon the French barricade, and the French let him through with one shouting after him, "Bon Voyage."
You know, this it reflects our reality, our war. In Ukraine, we are like those French soldiers in the film- holding back the Nazi onslaught while the world runs away from reality. Just as the British soldiers fled in the movie. The French on the barricade wear helmets from the First World War, their machine guns are also very old. But we hold on and fight just like Ukraine fights now often gasping without new modern weapons.
It's fascinating to watch such films from our time knowing that those British guys are neither cowards, nor traitors, but we continue to fight against Nazism and will return to France to liberate it. As for the future of our war, we know nothing. Will we continue to fight alone against terrorists who destroy entire cities and dream of conquering Europe? Will our partners continue to help us or will we betray us for cheap fuel and Putin's promises not to attack them? We don't know any of this. Nolan has not made a film about us: our future's script is being written right now and it is being written with the blood of Ukrainians.
Just today, the Russians launched a massive missile strike on Ukrainian cities. In Kyiv their missile hit a children's hospital. The ward for children with cancer. These Russian monsters have nothing sacred, where not humans, where mindless values immoral scum. Russia is at war against children with cancer. Brave Russian pilots drop bombs and missiles on children's hospitals without hesitation, and they even receive promotions and medals for it. This is not a coincidence when you, what we are doing and did it intentionally. And we will keep doing it as long as we have missiles and bombs.
These children are Russia's terrible enemies; they committed an unforgivable crime in the eyes of the Russians, they they are born Ukrainians. And for this, were being bombed. For this, we are all being bombed and we hold on while the rest of the world mentally evacuates from our bloody modern Dunkirk.
Perhaps I don't like going to the cinema also because I can't help with people on the screen who get into trouble. It's like I'm spying on them, when I should at least do something for them. But the war in Ukraine is not a movie, and when democratic world is not an audience helplessly watching a tragedy and not helping wars suffering before their eyes. The world can help, can provide weapons, can show Putin and his humanoid scum that they, cannot bomb children with impunity. And I really hope that this will be the case.
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June 24th 2024
Yuriy shares the emotional journey of his film's premiere and gives a sneak peek into his next project dedicated to the realities of war. Discover the stories behind the scenes and the people who inspired them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAHe_g7Z3vghttps://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/cannibals-but-partners-why-the-west?r=dzvo1https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/putins-stability-is-being-blown-up?r=dzvo1
https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/unleashing-azov-why-one-of-ukraineshttps://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/chronicle-of-kharkiv-during-the-war
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is June 24.
Well, my film has finally premiered. In fact, there were two premieres. First Kyiv at the War film festival, and one in Cherkasy, the hometown of a person the film is about. I have to admit, the audience liked the film, the mother and sister of the film's hero cried and thanked me for preserving the image of the loved one on screen. The film is already on YouTube and there will be a link to it in the podcast description. I must note that it is in Ukrainian and the people in it are unlikely to be familiar to a Western audience, but it is still worth your attention.
Also, I have a cameo in the film. I appear on screen for a few seconds. You probably won't recognize me because the scene ends so quickly, but I'll give you a hint. The soldier with a camera around whom a small dog is running, is me. It's such a successful scene during the shooting of which we all almost died, that it'll be also included in the next film I'm working on.
It'll be dedicated to Bakhmut from which I have several hours of footage. Unfortunately, not all of the people in these shots are still with us. At least one person, a young, cheerful girl, died a few months after I filmed her story. I don't know if all this will be interesting to the viewer, but it is a reflection of reality -life in war, unembellished and uncolored, just as it is.
I also have three links for you today to my film and to two of my new articles. I hope you not only enjoy listening to me but also reading my works. By the way, I have a video somewhere where I talk about my combat scooter and its strange journey. I used it to get around in the early days of the war. If you are interested, let me know and I will edit it at English subtitles and post it on Substack, and don't forget what GoFundMe operates daily, that there are no small donation and that without your help, neither the podcast, the articles nor videos from me can exist.
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June 18th 2024
Yuriy reflects on the grim reality of war, where death becomes an all-too-familiar presence. He discusses the heavy emotional toll of losing friends and colleagues, both through warfare and other tragic circumstances, highlighting the insufficiency of psychological defenses built for war when faced with non-combat deaths.
https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/unleashing-azov-why-one-of-ukraineshttps://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/chronicle-of-kharkiv-during-the-war
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is June 18.
We have become accustomed to people dying in war. It is very clinical, but there is nothing you can do about it when every day, hundreds of people die from bombs sharing mine explosions and missile strikes. You get used to it. You just know that by the end of the month, several of your friends will have died, and by the end of a year, several dozen. By the end of the war, it'll be hundreds and hundreds. This is a kind of forced fatalism that is unavoidable in war. It quickly becomes part of each of us.
We have indeed become used to the fact that war constantly takes away friends and relatives. This has become the grim norm of war time. We are so accustomed to it that we forget that death can come not only from bullets and shrapnel but also from cancer, heart attacks and accidents. And when such a non-war death suddenly intrudes into our difficult pain field lives, the usual psychological safeguards fail. We are turned to a different kind of pain. They are entirely focused on war, and so they don't help.
A few weeks ago, my senior colleague, who had greatly helped me in my profession, died of a heart attack right at his workplace. He was an excellent specialist who knew everything or almost everything about Ukrainian politics. I used to invite him to my show every month and when we would discuss for a couple of hours more what we didn't have time to cover on air. After I joined the Army, I saw him only once- we met by chance in Kyiv when I came last year to receive an award from Zelensky.
His death was a very heavy blow for me and it wasn't the last one. My colleague in journalism who is much younger than me, but from whom I have learned a lot. Was hospitalized with cancer in a stage that leaves almost no hope for recovery. I don't know, maybe it is somehow connected, but a few months ago, her boyfriend died in the war and she has significantly declined since then.
Death has become routine, we get used to it, but nonetheless, it can still shock us. Because of all this news, I fell ill and for several weeks, could barely think clearly. Today I have prepared two links for you. The first is a new text about how Russian propaganda has painted Azov as Nazis, and the second is a video from my native Kharkiv. Read, watch and leave comments if you like it.
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June 13th 2024
Yuriy recounts 841 days of war, underscoring the invasion's intent to annihilate Ukraine entirely. He highlights the miscalculations of Russian forces and the continuing resilience and struggle of the Ukrainian people.
https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/p/putin-the-miracle-worker-and-theYou can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is June 13. I have been at war for 840 days. That's exactly 840 days more than anyone should ever have to spend at war. But in reality, I have no choice. None of the Ukrainians who went to war had a choice. It's now clear to everyone that this is a war of annhilation. For the Russians, the ultimate goal is not just seize part of Ukraine, but to completely destroy it. They have no other plans. The Russians thought it would be an easy and simple task, that they could annihilate Ukrainians, forcing some to give up their identity and executing others- in a matter of weeks. That Ukraine would be scared and surrender immediately.
That was the calculation in 2022. It was supposed to be a blitzkrieg, A shockingly swift and successful operation for occupiers. Putin did not want a war; moreover, he did not believe it was even possible. In his mind, the destruction of Ukrainians was supposed to be walk in the park, something that would later be written about in history books as his unqualified triumph. I don't know if you've heard this, but the first burned columns of Russian equipment were filled with parade uniforms. The Russians, were preparing for a parade in Kyiv right from the start. They didn't expect any real resistance.
War is very risky, full of unpredictable elements; there's reason we talk about the fog of war- the uncertainty that comes with it. That's why Putin did not intend to wage a war. He wanted to win without one, just by ratting his weapons and scaring the world. But it did not work out; the Russians had to fight. War- a large bloody war- has been our reality for. 841 days now for both us and we, and every day war becomes more significant in Russian politics. More important for them. Putin started it; he tried to control it, but now it increasingly controls him. That's exactly what I wrote about in my article for Substack.
Read it and remember that the war has not gone anywhere. But Ukraine is fighting, but every day the best sons and daughters of our country are dying. And I want to warn you that this war is here for the long haul. These almost two and a half years of full scale fighting are, just the beginning, but more on that another time.
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June 7th 2024
Yuriy just finished his documentary film about the war and he shares some of the creative process and how he feels about it now.
https://open.substack.com/pub/yuriymatsarsky/p/taliban-draft-dodgers-and-the-pillars?r=dzvo1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is June seven.
When you listen to this episode, I will be at the prime year of my film. I have finished my documentary about a person who volunteered for the Army and died. In the credits I'm listed as a screenwriter, director, cameraman and editor. There are many things I don't like about this film; some things I would do differently now, some I would remove, some I would add, but it's still a film I am not ashamed of. It is compromised in many ways- I didn't have the opportunity to go everywhere I wanted. I didn't have the best cameras. I shoot with what I could afford myself. But I understand that probably none of the filmmakers, even the real ones, are ever 100% satisfied with what they have filmed.
If this film becomes publicly available, I will share the link with you. Though, I'm not sure if you will find it interesting. However, I might be wrong. Maybe it's better to share all possible information about the war with the world so that people don't forget what's happening to us more precisely, not to forget, but not to become accustomed to the war. It seems to me that in the world, this war is already perceived as something usual, something to be accepted, but that's not the case.
I want to counteract with habitation to war. I want to make sure that even now people understand what it is, terrible and wild, that there is nothing normal in war. I don't have many tools for this, only this podcast and my Substack page. I decided to make my texts there open to everyone. So read, share them, recommend them to your friends. If possible, subscribe to me on substack or donate on Go Fund Me or Buy Me A Coffee. This will help the creation of the new texts and episodes and in general, it'll support me. I still haven't recovered from the illness. The terrible stress simply destroyed my mind, and I'm piecing it back together bit by bit. So your support will be welcome, as always.
I translated for you the text, what I wrote in Ukrainian a couple of weeks ago. Today it is published on Substack. Sorry, that my episodes are so short right now. It's really hard for me to make them longer and fuller at the moment. I hope this is temporary.
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June 3rd 2024
Yuriy recounts the harrowing daily bombings and assaults on his hometown of Kharkiv, sharing personal stories and reflections on the Russian invasion and its impact on his life and community. He has written a new substack on it, which subscribers can check out here: https://open.substack.com/pub/yuriymatsarsky/p/in-vain-expectation-of-betrayal-the?r=dzvo1&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is 3rd of June.
While you listen to this story of mine, the Russians are bombing Kharkiv and launching wave after wave of their suicide assault troops against Ukrainian positions near it. Kharkiv is a very special city. It is located just a few dozen miles from the Russian border, and the Russians have always called it a "Russian city". All my life, as someone who was born and spent my childhood in Kharkiv, I heard this from them, "Oh, Kharkiv, that's a Russian city." This always infuriated me. Why did they decide that Kharkiv was theirs? Why did they feel the need to constantly emphasize this? I never understood.
But this foolishness of theirs, the confidence that Russians live in Kharkiv saved the city from occupation at the beginning of the full scale invasion. My new text on Substack starts with exactly this- the failure of the Russians to capture Kharkiv, as they were convinced that they did not even need to capture it, that the residents would run to the occupiers themselves.
Please read it; this text is very important to me. It's about my native and beloved city, which is now suffering from daily bombings, which the Russians are trying to destroy, simply because they no longer understand how else to fight. Read, comment there, suggest new topics. I am almost recovered, though I was once again on the brink of despair, and I am gradually returning to normal and can write again.
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May 30th 2024
Yuriy has written his first Substack post, it's an article he has talked about previously that an American outlet didn't want to publish. You can read it here: https://yuriymatsarsky.substack.com/publish/post/145119038
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is 30th of May.
I'm sorry for a long silence. I'm going through a very difficult time right now. Several important people in my life have passed away or been killed, and I myself have fallen seriously ill. Only now do I have a strength to upload the first text on Substack and tell you about it.
I mentioned it, this text in one over episodes. It was commissioned by an American editorial team, which later rejected it because it did not fit the worldview of media's leadership. This text is about Russian position and why it cannot be considered an a lie of Ukrainians. If you like it and want to delve deeper into the relations between Russians and the Ukrainians, they will prepare a new text for you on how the destruction of Ukraine has become a national idea for Russians. But first, I need to recover.
And one more thing. This text is available to everyone for free, but when I will be forced to publish articles only for war who subscribe to me, I hope you will be interested.
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May 24th 2024
Yuriy has made a decision about the future of the podcast, and thanks you for all your messages of support as he has considered this decision...
You can email Yuriy, ask him questions or simply send him a message of support: [email protected] You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It is 24th of May.
You know I'm not going to shut down the podcast. I received some very important messages from the listeners and realized how significant it is for people. The podcast no longer belongs to just me.
I will start posting texts on Substack next week, and for some time I'll be using the podcast to explain these texts or add something to them. I don't feel strong enough morally to continue sharing detailed personal stories related to the war. However, if something very important happens, I will definitely talk about it.
I hope this adjustment, which is likely temporary will help me get back on track a bit. I should say that most of the texts I plan to publish and discuss here are awesome about our war, but since I have already lived through and reflected on the events described in them, I hope it'll be a bit easier and less traumatic to talk about them.
Once again, thank you all. Your support truly works wonders. See you next week.
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May 22nd 2024
Yuriy explains why it's so hard to continue making this podcast.
Yuriy is considering ending the podcast and starting a new model. He wants to know what you think! Email him at [email protected] to let him know what you think.
You can help Yuriy and his family by donating to his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-yuriys-family
Yuriy’s Podbean Patron sign-up to give once or regularly: https://patron.podbean.com/yuriy
Buy Yuriy a coffee here: https://bmc.link/yuriymat
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TRANSCRIPT: (Apple Podcasts & Podbean app users can enjoy accurate closed captions)
It's 22nd of May.
I have to admit to you that every episode of this podcast is a deeply traumatic experience. Every time I write an episode, every time I record it, and every time I edit it, I relive all the horrible things I have to talk about. Every single damn time. It really hurts because I have to constantly remember things I wish had never happened. Remembering the deaths of friends, the captivity of those who served with me, with destruction, with pain, with tears, with countless people who can never be brought back, the time and the happiness stolen from us by the occupiers.
It's very hard. And very painful. And also I do this in my free time. I don't get this time to distract myself from the pain and the war, but instead I dive back into them to make another episode. And each time it gets harder. A few months ago I gave up trying to make the podcast daily. I think I would have gone crazy if I had tried to keep it up that often. For a while it helped me a bit doing it once, maybe twice a week was easier than four or five times a week.
But it turned out that it was not a solution. It's painful and hard and each time. I force myself to record the podcast. I don't really understand why should I continue to force myself to do it. I used to feel that I was making at least some impact on the general opinion abroad, but now I realize that this impact is very small, barely noticeable, really. I used to be able to tell myself, yes, it's hard, but it's not in vain- thanks to the podcast, you can pay for your daughter's education and help your parents, but that has long ceased to be true. I am very, very grateful to those who still support me, but I have to admit that this money has not been enough for a long time. So I'm torturing myself almost for free.
I'm very grateful to those who have sent me suggestions for improving the podcast. They are wonderful and interesting, but I just don't see a way to make them work in a way that fulfills any of the goals for which the podcast was started. I'm afraid I won't be able to make them generate income, maintain my skills as a journalist and be interested for foreign listeners. I'm sure that in any other situation, I would grab unto these suggestions and at least try to do something with them.
But now I'm very emotionally exhausted and simply unable to radically change the project. I am truly trying to save it. It is very dear to me, but it seems that I just don't have best strength for it. I'm so sorry. I really think only a miracle can save this project.
