Episodes
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177 There are three major things I learned from my first marriage ending in divorce that have allowed me to create an amazing fulfilling marriage with my second husband.
As I've worked with hundreds of other highly sensitive women, I've noticed the struggles I had in my first marriage echo so many of the struggles these other HSP women have in theirs.
So it makes sense what worked for me will also help you have a much more fulfilling marriage!
AND the unhappiness, lack of fulfillment, and pain we tend to feel in our relationships as sensitive women is often sourced in a few challenges that are an innate part of high sensitivity.
Even though this trait is amazing, and a true gift for you and the lucky people who get to have you in their lives, high sensitivity can come with a shadow side, especially when it comes to specific aspects of intimate relationships.
Listen in to this episode for a reminder of how your sensitivity can be such a strength when it comes to intimate partnerships (it never hurts to hear a reminder, right?!), and also hear how the same qualities ( which have to do with our conscientiousness and high standards) can sometimes end up undermining the strength of the relationshipâuntil you implement the 3 tips I share.
Not only do I share quite a bit about my first marriage to help illustrate my advice, so it's fun to listen to, but the 3 tips I share are simple. Just listening to this episode can bring you some real "ahas" and lead to some great change in your marriage or committed relationship. Happy New Year!
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching (learn more here), and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Doors Close for the foreseeable future on January 15th, 2024! Fill out this form to get started.
Find Hannah's On-Demand Courses (for more connection, attraction, and ending hurt and disconnection) here.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
176 When things are feeling less connected, loving and supportive in your relationship than you want them to as a highly sensitive person, there is an excellent chance a lot of it is coming from chronic dysregulation and emotional overload. In other words, stress.
As Hsps, it is hard to NOT feel overstimulated or stressed in our modern lives. Iâve recently shared a fair amount about how this leads to nervous system and emotional dysregulation. Which is, honestly, terrible for relationship health!
But it is a lot more than the outer world that creates this dysregulation and stress. In this episode I dive into the huge thing that tends to create this internal overstimulationâ in other words, how we dysregulate ourselves from the inside out!
It's important to SEE this, and how you do it. In this episode I will give you a great starting place.
I also share how to stop this internal dysregulation so you can feel peaceful, and be able to give and receive the deepest love, and have the best marriage.
I honestly think, without understanding what I share in this episode, it will be 1000 times harder to be alive and to be married as a sensitive person (it sure was for me!). So tune in to this essential episode.
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching (learn more here), and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Doors Close for the foreseeable future on January 15th, 2004! Fill out this form to get started.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
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175 Ever felt that stinging (or punch-in-the-gut) feeling when your partner says or does something hurtful? Or maybe itâs something he doesn't do that leads to you feeling like he just doesnât care. Like you donât matter. Like you arenât loved.
Normal for everyone, for highly sensitive women and deep-feeling women, this is extra oh-so-common.
It may very well be true that your partner could be more skillful in his interactions with you. At the same time, so much of the hurt you feel in these moments comes from taking things personally. (Even if you may not think you do so, listen in to find out for real, because it is a human brain thing, and most people do it to some degree.)
And you can put an end to that NOW.
And you want to. Because taking things personally doesn't just hurtâit costs us big time in our intimate relationships, leading to all sorts of AVOIDABLE pain. . . and diminishment of affection and connection.
I, too, used to take all sorts of things personally, and it hurt me and my marriage. I spent years learning how to put an end to that unnecessary pain, and replace it with the closeness, ease and love I want between my husband and I. I want that for you to.
As you learn to not take things so personally, it will free you up to have way more of the support, connection and loving intimacy you want with your partner.
Listen in to this updated and re-release essential episode, where I dive into 3 big keys to stop taking things so personally so you can feel less hurt and more love everyday of your life.
And don't miss the announcement about the short course you can take to make your habit of taking things personally a thing of the past for you.
SHOW NOTES:
Click here to learn about and join THE STOP TAKING IT SO PERSONALLY COURSE
--7 steps to less hurt and more love every day of your life.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Get the HSHM Podcast Map, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful! -
174 This is a slightly revised episode, updated and re-released because of its importance! Hereâs to not tolerating mistreatment, and how to begin the process of influencing your partner to treat you best!
As modern women, weâve been encouraged to not let ourselves be âdoormatsâ in our relationship with our significant other.
And we want to be strong, to not tolerate criticism or unkind treatment, and to stand up for the respect we deserve.
All of which is so important to have a healthy loving marriage, especially as a sensitive person.
But sometimes we do this in a way that actually makes us feel even more walked all over, more like a doormat--and in more pain than ever.
So how do we stop being a doormat for REAL? Listen in to find out how.Hint: it has to do with understanding what we can control and what we cannot ...and then learning how to control what we ourselves have dominion over--which is our own selvesâŠ.and becoming Un-walk-over-able!
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.
Even if your partner is sometimes unkind, uncool, and disrespectful, you can put an end to feeling like a doormat-- without FIGHTING, and with dignity, self-containment, confidence, and rooted in love for all involved.
In this episode I break down the specifics of what this entails and get you started on the path to feeling strong, empowered, respected, and being treated with the kindness, care, and love you deserve.
SHOW NOTES:
Check out The Stop Taking It So Personally Course, a self-paced course to feel more love and less hurt -- and help you be best positioned to effectively advocate for the loving care you want from your spouse. Or see Hannah's full course shop here.
Work 1:1 with Hannah
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173 Releasing this one early to help you reduce any Thanksgiving related stress!
We have a TON of sway over how we feel on a daily, hourly, and even minute by minute basisâ-as well as on our ability to connect in the deepest, sweetest, most loving ways with our loved ones.
So very much of this comes down to which part of our nervous system is activated at the moment, and knowing how to activate the parts of it we want âonâ, and de-activate the parts we want âoffâ.
There are very specific steps and skills to doing so, of course.
In this episode, I give you 4 âhacksâ to help you intentionally shift into the parts of your nervous system that allow you to feel calm, light, at ease, grounded, connected, playful, relaxed, and joyful.
Youâll learn about when use them, what they help with, and exactly how ot do them, so you can try them out for yourself, and get a taste of being in the nervous system states that not only FEEL the very best, but also allow for the best connection, communication, and interactions with your loved ones.
Youâll also find out why patching together âhacksâ like these, although helpful, are not the full solution, and what else you need to make happen if you want to truly develop nervous system resilience and regulation, so you can spend the majority of your waking time feeling calmness, ease, and lightness, and be at your emotional and relational best.
Dive in and start feeling better right away.SHOW NOTES:
Learn all about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship here. DOORS CLOSE DEC 2nd. Join here.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
172 If there was one thing I could shout out from the rooftops right now to help all intimate relationships âand really all of humankind and our very planetâ what I share in this episode would be it. It is that important.
why, over time, we tend to fall into this sense that our spouse is the âBad Otherâ (some of the science, and physiology behind it), what it has to do with stress and a maladaptation of our nervous systems to our modern lives, what to do about it on various levels, and 3 specifics steps to melt it away and feel a sense of remembering the tender human you fell in love with
Have you ever felt a sense of your spouse being âagainstâ you, almost like theyâre an enemy, a nemesis, a âbad guyâ at moments, if not much of the time?
If so, you are FAR from alone. So many of my clients have told me that they feel that way, even if it is only subtle. And the amount of division people are experiencing in general is at a super high level in so many realms. And, of course, one of them is between intimate partners.
Even in this most intimate and sacred of a relationship, it's all too easy to fall into this sense of being against each other. And as our hearts start to feel hardened to them, itâs like we lose touch with the very tender, real, full of feeling human we fell in love with. They become less 3 dimensional, less human.
But what's really going on is that we lose connection with the part of ourselves that can connect.
This is a very common phenomenon, even in relationships that start out great. And it is a prelude to further disintegration of loveâ and even divorce.
Listen in to prevent this oh-so-common experience from slowly sucking your relationship of love and connection.
You will learn:....so you can connect back to the part of you that CAN connect so beautiful and fullyâand STAY connected to it.
SHOW NOTES:
Learn all about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship here. DOORS CLOSE DEC 2nd. Join here.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
As a sensitive or deep feeling person, your nervous system is more reactive. This matters. Because, importantly, your nervous system is the foundation of not just your emotional well-being, but also your relationships well-beingâ or itâs lack of well-being!
Diffuse an argument before it even starts, while keeping your wits and feeling grounded.âStop irritability, feeling easily triggered, overstimulation, and bouts of stress and anxiety, and live with a daily sense of security, peace and even lightheartedness. âStay connected to that big heart of yours when challenges come up between you and your spouse, instead of turning against each other, so you can navigate them with ease and a true sense of collaborationâ.Always be able to move into the best state of mind to communicate better than ever before, so you can actually get through to your partner in the ways you've always wanted to (but haven't been able to so far) and finally feel truly heardand feel deeper connection, love, and attraction to your partnerâand even have more lightness and fun together!And moreâŠ
A chronically overstimulated, stressed out nervous system (which, let's face it, most of us have in our modern world, especially as HSPs) is a loving relationship's biggest enemy.
And, so long as your nervous system stays that way, youâre going to have a much harder time in your relationship in every way. Youâll be like a garden without nourished soil: wilting, fruitless, fried, fragile, and dried out.
Listen in to this bonus episode where I announce a very special opportunity for you to break free of reactivity in life and love at the most foundational level, and build a solid foundation of emotional well-being (that grounded safety and nourishing supportiveness that are the very roots of a deeply loving marriage), so you can:Listen in to learn more about how to build the best foundation for a great relationship to grow from.
SHOW NOTES:
Learn all about Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship here. And join here.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
171 If you've ever felt AT ALL uncomfortable to express yourself in any way in your relationship, this episode is for you.
Because, even if you want a loving affectionate marriage, a weird thing may happen that Iâve seen again and again with women I've worked with (and Iâve done it myself, too!) :
You may edit your loving impulses, stop yourself from expressing in certain ways the love you have for your partner, out of fear of how it will be received.
OR you may have a deep truth to share, but you hold back because it may be too uncomfortable.
Either way, by editing yourself like this, you end up feeling helpless to make your marriage more connected and loving, and dimming your power to create a culture of deep positivity and supportiveness with your spouse.
In this episode, you will learn why we do this, what it looks like (you may be doing it without realizing it!), what surprising and wonderful things often happen when you don't do it, and 3 keys to stop overriding your own truth and self-expression in your marriage.
Listen in so as to no longer diminish some of the most incredible parts of youâand so you can pave the way for the deepest connection, loving intimacy, and trust to grow between you and your partner.
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage so much more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. When you sign up by mid-November, 2024, as a BONUS you will also get the LIVE Foundations of Emotional Well-Being Course; The Root Of A Better Relationship. It all starts by filling out this form.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
170 If you have any chance of having a great âor even just a decentâ marriage, there will inevitably be times in your relationship that you need to take a look at your self and how you are approaching your relationship. To self-reflect and take ownership of the ways you are contributing to a less-than-great relationship.
Even if you know how essential this is for making positive changes and having lasting love, it can still, unfortunately, feel painfulâif you approach it the way so many people do.
Luckily, I have found a way to take the pain out of facing all this. It can even feel good to look at those sticky, unskillful, or not-so-pretty patterns we fall intoâŠwith the right attitude and a good dose of self-support. (I personally find it thrilling!)
I want to share how with you today in this episode, broken down into 7 specific tips.
So listen in so that you no longer avoid doing âeven just a littleâ this extra essential relationship improving meta skill and so you easily can make the loving changes on your end that will allow you to steer your marriage in a much more loving and connected direction.
Ready to feel so much more connected and loving with yourself-- and proud of yourself, too? Listen in.
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage so much more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. When you sign up by mid November, 2024, you will also get, as a BONUS, the LIVE Foundations of Emotional Well-being Course. It all starts by filling out this form.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
169 This is the first in a re-boot of some of the most essential episodes of the podcast that I will be releasing occasionally. Whether youâre newer to the podcast, or if youâve listened to every episode, this one is a must listen (or re-listen).
Because often, as humans, we go about trying to improve our marriage backwards: we're more focused on changing our partner than changing ourselves.
But focusing on your spouse isnât where you pack the most punch for actual change!
There is a more effective, easier, and more rewarding approach to improving your marriage, where you actually have powerful influence to have the loving, connected, supportive marriage you want with your husband.
It entails bringing your focus back to YOURSELF, by answering this essential question: âWho do I want to be in my relationship?â. And then centering your focus on becoming her.
This will get way better results in your marriage.
In this updated episode, we look at what it means to be who you want to be and WHY focusing on this is so effective when we want to improve our love lives.
I illustrate this with an example of a challenge in my own marriage and the difference in results I get when I'm focusing on my husband improving, versus stepping in to being who I really want to be, instead.
Then I help you define for yourself who you want to be.
Creating this clear vision for yourself is essential in order to actually take that journey of becoming her. Once you take this step you will be on the way to truly making changes by leaps and bounds in your marriage.
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. When you sign up by mid November, 2024, you will also get, as a BONUS, the LIVE Foundations of Emotional Well-being Course. It all starts by filling out this form.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
The connection and closeness we so deeply want with our partner can dissipate for a variety of reasons, but often it comes from a slow hardening of our hearts towards our spouse in response to the arguments, the many moments of irritation, or the mistakes we feel they are making, and the disappointment we feel from it all.
If that resonates at all (or you are simply tired of feeling disconnected with your partner), this story-and-metaphor-filled episode is an absolute must-listen for you.
To create more of the deep intimacy and connection you truly want, itâs essential to stop this slow closing of your heart. Because it is cutting you off from love and making the closeness you crave ever elusive.
It starts with recognizing that this isnât simply because of whatâs been happening recently between you, but rather because of what I am calling âemotional vitaminsâ that you did not get in your younger years, which have led you to âover-protectâ your tender heart when you don't get the love you need from your spouse.
Itâs the case for most of us. But it can absolutely be changed now. You've just got to "take" the right "vitamins"!
Listen in to this episode to hear all about why our hearts slowly harden, and what you can do today and beyond to âtakeâ the Emotional Vitamins you need to heal your heart and make available so much more of the love, connection, and intimacy you want between you and your significant other, so you can really FEEL it between you.SHOW NOTES:
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.
LAST CHANCE to join the special event that's been shown to generate a lot more closeness and connection in other highly sensitive women's intimate relationship, the CLOSER TO YOUR HUSBAND IN 7 DAYS CHALLENGE , for only $24! We start Tuesday, October 15th. Learn more and enroll now here.
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167 You want to look forward to your life with your significant other into the future. Imaging a bright future with each other is part of what keeps a relationship vibrant and alive in the present.
Why you want to make sure you are dreaming together, What amazing and deeply satisfying things it leads to for both of youWhat counts as âdreamsâ (hint: they don't have to be outlandish or big!)What it looks like to dream together Why knowing and supporting each other's dreams matters,Tips for actually doing thatMy own personal stories about how dreaming with my husband has affected my marriageAnd ways to start dreaming together for more connection today, including specific questions to ask and communicate about
An important (and sometimes overlooked) piece of that is spending time dreaming into that future together with your spouse. Sharing and supportively working towards both your personal dreams and your dreams for your relationship will not just be super connecting, but it will bring excitement, fun, and so much fulfillment into your lives together.
Dreaming together can be like glue that keeps you moving side by side into a bright looking future. There really isn't a better way to honor who each of you are, and feel on the same team. Plus, it's HOW you make cool things happen!
Sadly, Iâve found that this important element of a marriage slips to the wayside in many marriages, to the detriment of both partners. So join me today to hear:âŠso you can feel a sense of truly looking forward to your future with your partner by your side, as you build, together, a life you both love.
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE.
SHOW NOTES:
The popular Closer To Your Husband in 7 Days Challenge is back, updated, and better than ever! We start October 15th. Learn more and enroll now here.
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Many women I talk to feel as though their husband doesn't contribute enough domestically, like with the household chores like dishes, laundry, etc, or with the kids.
what that looks like how it leads to this unbalanced and miserable dynamic whether it is happening in your relationshipwhy it's so common for HSPs to fall into and the 3 practical tangible steps you should take to reverse it
If that is going on at all for you, you probably feel resentful about it, and a sense of burden at having to do the lion's share of the domestic load. Who wouldnât?!
This episode will change that, and help you get your partner to contribute more domestically.
You see, there is a common pattern that many couples fall into where one partner is taking on a lot more than the other person in terms of taking care of domestic things. And it is rarely just one person's fault.
There is a very common dynamic, one that both partners are complicit in, that is the cause of this in most cases: what I call the overfunctioning/underfunctioning dynamic.
In this episode you will learn:. . .so you can get the help you deserve around your home and your spouse can feel like a valued contributor he ultimately wants to be deep down.
With stories and tangible action steps, you will walk away from this episode with a very practical plan to finally feel like the real domestic and romantic team in life you want to be with your significant other.SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. When you sign up by late November, 2024, you will also get, as a BONUS, the LIVE Foundations of Emotional Well-being Course. It all starts by filling out this form.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
165 If you are tired, as so many womenâand especially highly sensitive womenâare these days, then it IS affecting your relationship â for the worse.
When we are tired, depleted, or burnt out, we HSPs tend to feel especially burdened, irritable and even resentful.
And unfortunately it is just so easy to get tired, depleted or burnt out in our modern lives with all the societal and real-life pressures. And you likely feel you have to just keep go-go-going. Especially if you are a mom or have a full time job (or both!).
If any of this is rigging a bell, please listen to this episode. Because you deserve to feel good in your life and relationship!
And I want to give you deep permission to rest. Listen in to hear why, how, and what that looks like. And take up my loving little challenge for you this week.
Youâll be on track to lose the exhaustion, the irritability, and even the sense of ongoing burden and resentment, and start replacing it all with a sense of nourishment and vitality. This is essential listening for all highly sensitive people.
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
164 All marriages have ups and downs. It's in large part how you handle the downs that determines the overall quality of your relationship, and whether it grows more deeply loving and stays that way, or it disintegrates.
In this episode I candidly share how I recently applied my own coaching teachings to my own marriage during one of those harder times (when I was feeling like my husband wasn't supporting or caring for me well), and how I coached myself into feeling not just supported again, but even cherished.
As vulnerable as this is to share with you, I really wanted you to be able to see that even people with skills like mine go through harder times, and that instead of that being something to weaken your marriage, it is an opportunity for more growth, both personal and as a coupleâWHEN you apply the coaching (and self coaching) I teach you and my clients.
Youâll not only hear the exact process I went through, but also how I dealt with resistance to doing my end of the work, how I took ownership over the hard emotions I was feeling, and how I shed the anger and hurt and began to feel loved and supported againâin just 10 or 15 minutes of my time! â so you can learn from me and even use this same process yourself.
I truly want you to be able to know just how to move out of those inevitable harder times in your marriage and get back to the love, connection and mutual supportiveness you cherish, so you can feel more fulfilled and secure, and keep evolving in the best ways both personally and as a couple. So listen in!
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
163 Understanding this one thing about relationships can truly make or break your marriage:
What we practice grows stronger. And in our relationship, we are, consciously or unconsciously, always practicing.We practice having arguments, or finding our way to a solution. We practice reactive communication, or choosing to communicate more consciously, we practice repulsion or we practice attraction, etc.
If that sounds intriguing but confusing to you, and you aren't sure how to practice the things that build a strong and loving relationship that lasts, then this is a must-listen episode.
Because in it, I tell you what is actually at the source of the patterns you are practicing in your relationship, so you can make a conscious choice about if you want to keep practicing them, or instead choose ones that are going to truly enrich your relationship.
This is a truly back-to-the-basics episodeâmeaning, a deep and important reminder of what I teach that is most essential to understand to improve your marriage in big ways.
What you will hear today is what distinguishes my approach to relationships from most relationship advice out there, and WHY my clients get such amazing results with me, when they havenât with all the other relationship help they've tried before. So dig in.
SHOW NOTES:
Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to harness your power to feel amazing in your marriage and get more sensitivity, connection, and support than ever from your partner. Get started by filling out this form.ENJOYING THE SHOW?
Donât miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3) HERE. -
162 Today you'll hear about one of the big things my husband and I do once a year that just lights up our marriageâitâs like a total connection, attraction, and intimacy rejuvenator for us. And it can be for you, too.
Is everything decent between you and your spouse, but a bit dull? If bringing alive more of that flirty attraction and connection of the earlier days is your top priority, my short training, Bring Back The Attraction, is a great starting place for you! Grab it here. Even better? When you join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Coaching, you'll get her deep, super individualized support to harness your power to feel amazing in your marriage and get more sensitivity, connection, and support than ever from your partner. Get started by filling out this form.
Although usually the most important work you can do in your marriage is about small actions and changes made on a regular basis, Iâve found that there are some bigger things you can do occasionally that will really infuse your relationship with so much of ALL that you most want it to be. This is one that I highly suggest.
Listen in to hear why this is so good for any marriage (including how it can amp up the attraction and passion between you, as well as set you up for a more connected relationship for the rest of the year), how to do this well as an HSP, how to handle obstacles to making it happen, and what to do if you have any resistance to this idea.
Youâll also hear why, although doing this is truly a gift to any intimate relationship, there is something that is definitely more essential to do when it comes to having a loving connected marriageâand I will share just what that is in this episode. Dive in.
SHOW NOTES:
Get deeper marriage help from Hannah:ENJOYING THE SHOW?
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161 Today is a quick dip into an absolutely ESSENTIAL part of building and maintaining a great relationship with your significant other: consciously fostering fondness of them. (Youâll do it in just 5 minutes!)
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And yes, you CAN absolutely feel more warmth, admiration and love for them on purpose, and build in more of all the good stuff between you and your spouse.
A solid body of research about what makes marriages work indicates (and my clients experience confirms) that it will make your marriage stronger, your friendship deeper, and even the passion in your relationship more alive.
Unfortunately, itâs all too easy to let this piece slide (or just not know HOW to do it!). Then things tend to feel worse and worse in our relationships.
Luckily there are many ways to actively build a stronger sense of fondness for this person you've chosen to spend your life withâand only good things will come out of it, when you know how and actually put them into practice.
Today, I give you a very specific process (including 5 quick questions for you to answer) to do so! So dive in!
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160 A common question I have heard from women I work with is, âHow can I hold my partner accountable?â And the internet is full of people saying we need to hold our husbands accountable.
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But what even does that really mean when it comes to an intimate relationship? And how do you actually do it? Thatâs what you will learn here today.
The truth is, âholding someone accountableâ can be an important part of growing a great relationship, if you understand some of the subtleties of what it looks like. But there are many ways to try to do it that not only donât work, but can sabotage an otherwise good relationship.
And even though you canât force your partner to be accountable to his goals, agreements, or becoming a great partner, you can create the best conditions for them to hold themselves accountable. And that is what we really want to happen in our intimate relationships.
Listen in for 7 keys to doing so, including a very specific script for how to navigate it when he breaches an agreement, so your spouse will be most likely to follow through on better and better ways of being in your relationship.
SHOW NOTES:
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159 Almost all of us instinctively approach our intimate relationships in mixed ways: ones that generate more loving intimacy and harmony, and ones that drive division and pain, which I call the Backfiring Tactics.
To have the marriage you want, it will take cultivating more of the first, and minimizing those Backfiring Tactics. This is always one of the very first things I help my clients do, and I want you to be able to do the same.
The thing is, it can be hard to do, because the backfiring tactics can seduce you into believing you are acting âempoweredâ, when really itâs a completely false sense of power thatâs actually hurting you and your marriage.
So, if you want to feel close, connected, and on the same loving team in life with your honey, itâs essential to be on the lookout for these sneaky perpetrators of so much pain and division, so you can stop doing them and choose approaches that work SO much better in love.
Listen to this episode to hear the 7 primary Backfiring Tactics (Iâve added a few since the first episode on them years back), and why we are so prone to them, and what exactly they look like in action, along with recommendations for other episodes to go deeper into each one, so you can identify which ones you tend to fall prey to, and begin to put an end to them.
As you begin this process you will be moving out of the power-over dynamics that keep our marriages locked in painful cycles of struggle, and into the power WITH approaches, truly relationally empowered ones that make your marriage into one that continues to deepen over time in love, mutual respect, supportiveness, and joy.SHOW NOTES:
-->NEW!! For the Summer and Fall of 2024: Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Coaching.
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