Episodes

  • With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives.

    Today, we are discussing why support groups are important for women overcoming sexual betrayal. For over 50 years support groups have been empirically supported as a place of healing for trauma survivors.

    Groups offer partners an opportunity to connect with other partners who really get it because they have been through very similar experiences. Groups help ease partners’ emotional stress, including feelings of isolation, loneliness, depression, helplessness and hopelessness. Groups will help strengthen you to cope with the pain and move toward healing.

    We discuss:

    Our personal group experiences. What types of groups are there? What makes a healthy group? What are some questions to ask the leader? How do I know when it’s time to join a group? How do I know when it’s time to leave a group? Identify what you hope to get a group What hope do we want to leave with our listeners about groups?

    Thank you for joining us. We hope to be a bright spot on your recovery journey. If you’d like to leave us a question or comment, please go through the contact button on our website. Also, help a friend by leaving a 5 star review on iTunes so others can find us.

  • Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives.

    Today we are discussing therapeutic separation otherwise known as a healing separation.

    What are some myths about therapeutic or healing separation? In your personal story, what role did therapeutic separation play, if any? What are some practical thoughts or suggestions for our listeners in regards to therapeutic separation? How can we offer hope to our listeners when it comes to therapeutic separation?

    Recovered Peace (Pam Blizzard) - Boundaries Group

    Hope Redefined (Lyschel Burket) - Online Support

    Strong Wives (Bonny Burns) - To be notified of the next open registration for, "Reclaim Your Sexual Identity after Betrayal," email [email protected]

  • Missing episodes?

    Click here to refresh the feed.

  • Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives.

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Today, we will be discussing, Trauma Triggers. A trigger is an event that rings an alarm bell that sends our body into fight, flight, or, freeze response. sense of safety to evaporate. You may experience the consequence of a trigger as a flashback, panic attack, intense of emotions, feelings of anxiety and/or grief. These are common to the betrayal trauma experience.

    How have triggers shown up for you personally? What are some things we want our listeners to know about causes triggers? What are some practical tools we can offer our listeners to navigate triggers? What hope can we leave our listeners with about triggers.

    Episode 6: Boundaries for Partners in Marriages with Sex Addiction or Unwanted Problematic Sexual Behavior

    Episode 8: Self-Care with Practical Ideas to Care for Yourself after Discovery

    Book: Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal Paperback by Barbara Steffens

    15 Simple Tips for Conquering Your Betrayal Trauma Triggers - free tip sheet download

    A trigger-log so you can track your triggers, times, etc.

  • With your co-hostesses: Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Today, we are answering listener questions regarding the 90-Day Sex Fast for marriages overcoming the impact of sexual betrayal and trying to build a new sexually intimate life.

    We answer:

    Under what circumstances is the fast helpful and when might it be harmful/unnecessary? How does this differ from a betrayed partner who doesn't desire physical intimacy and needs boundaries to feel safe? What if we don't make it? Do we mess everything up? Does this begin on day 1 of sobriety? Or at the start of recovery? If your spouse has been sober for a while (but not yet in recovery), is celibacy still effective/beneficial? What if you’re spouse hasn’t desired you in months, since his last slip up and therefore you’re in a forced sexual fast that wasn’t mutually planned?
  • With co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Today, we discuss the intimacy building experience called the 90-Day Sex Fast. It is also known as the celibacy statement or plan.

    Many couples approach this as they step into their recovery journey. We want to start the conversation about what it is, how you navigate through it, and share some of our personal experiences.

    We explore these questions:

    What is the purpose of a 90 day sex fast for her? For him? In your personal story, how did this play a part in your recovery journey? What does the couple do while in a 90 day sex fast? How can we offer hope to our listeners when it comes to 90 day sex fast?

    Resources mentioned:
    Recreational Inventory to Build Friendship

    A Mind Map for Sex and Porn Addiction

    Sensate Focus Youtube

    Sensate Focus pdf

    Sexual Reintegration podcast Bloom for Women

    Couple's Guide to Intimacy

  • Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives. Today we are discussing self-care. Self-care is a popular term these days for a reason. It is an important concept in our chaotic lives, especially if you are healing from the effects of unwanted sexual behavior in your marriage. Self-care refers to behaviours performed to improve your well-being, to preserve your health, or to maintain your physical and emotional stability. For a betrayed partner, self-care if important because it helps your body build reserves in order to heal from the trauma of sexual betrayal.

    Basically, self-care helps you cope with mentally with big emotions and physically to safeguard against poor health as you heal from sexual betrayal trauma.

    Today we discuss:

    What are some myths about self-care? In your personal story, what role did self-care play? PIESS (physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual) categories of self-care with practical ideas What hope can we offer our listeners about self-care?

    Resources
    Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero

    Feelings Wheel - Nonviolent Communication

    Bible Verses
    Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    2 a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    6 a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    8 a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace."


    Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

  • With:
    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    Today, we talk through the acronyms, terms, and definitions surrounding the topics of betrayal, addiction, and couples recovery.

    We will specifically focus on the middle stages of discovery and healing. You may have heard our previous episode where we discussed the early stages of recovery.

    1-3 years post disclosure/discovery.

    In a future episode, you will hear us share ac that are common in the later stages of healing.

  • Welcome to Hope for Wives. With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from recoveredpeace.com Lyschel Burket from hoperedefined.org Bonny Burns from strongwives.com

    Today we are discussing how to build safety around ourselves when living with a person with problematic sexual behavior. This safety measure is oftentimes called boundaries. Boundaries are basically a way to ensure your personal values are respected. I repeat, Boundaries are basically a way to ensure your personal values are respected, in such things as sexual integrity.

    Recovered Peace Boundaries Quick Start Tip Sheet (Pam Blizzard) - Receive a Boundaries Quick Start Guide and sign up to learn about her upcoming Boundaries Course.

    Naked Truth Project - Boundaries Training

    Hope Redefined - Boundaries Support Group

  • Welcome to Hope for Wives

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
    Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
    Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com

    In coaching betrayed wives, we see that some betrayed partners lean into the Lord hard and some are tremendously angry at him.

    So, today, we are going to discuss suffering and God. Where is he in all of this?

    1. Can you pick one moment where you saw God caring for you in your suffering
    as a betrayed partner?

    2. Can you pick one moment where you were angry at God in your suffering?

    3. How is trusting God different than trusting a person?

    4.
    How can we offer hope to our listeners when it comes to trusting God in our
    pain?

    Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

    Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight."


    Thank you for joining us. We hope to be a bright spot on your recovery journey. If you’d like to leave us a question or comment, please go through the contact button on our website. Also, help a friend by leaving a 5-star review on iTunes so others can find us.

  • Welcome to Hope for Wives.

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from recoveredpeace.com Lyschel Burket from hoperedefined.org Bonny Burns from strongwives.com

    In Today's episode, we are going to discuss emotional or relational safety. What is it? How do you navigate it? How do you try to rebuild it?

    We Discuss

    What is relational or emotional safety to you? How is emotional or relational safety ruptured when one spouse has a sex addiction? How does a betrayed partner start to rebuild emotional safety? How can we offer hope to our listeners when it comes to emotional or relational safety?

    Nuggets of Wisdom:

    "...not to feel better, but to get better at feeling," Pam Blizzard.

    "Both of you are responsible for rebuilding this emotional safety with each other," Lyschel Burket.

    Resources

    VOWS - acronym of thoughts to help build new emotional and relational safety.

    V - Vulnerability O - Ownership W - do your Work S - create Safety for yourself and your spouse

    Emotional Safety definition found in wikipedia

    King & Country - God Only Knows

    Final Thoughts

    Thank you for sitting in with us today. Our deepest desire is that you will find encouragement, insight, and maybe even a laugh or two in the many episodes to come. We will talk with you again in two weeks.

  • Welcome to Hope for Wives.

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from recoveredpeace.com Lyschel Burket from hoperedefined.org Bonny Burns from strongwives.com

    Today, we're going to talk through acronyms, terms, and definitions revolving around early stages of recovery and healing. There will be future episodes where we discuss acronyms, terms, and definitions associated with middle and late stages of recovery and healing.

    We Discuss

    Lyschel discusses acronyms, terms, and definitions connected with the Betrayed Wife/Fiance/Girlfriend Pam discusses acronyms, terms, and definitions connected with the Person with Problematic Sexual Behavior Bonny discusses acronyms, terms, and definitions connected with the coupleship in early stages of recovery and healing.

    Resources

    APSATS.org - Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists
    Common Acronyms - Recovered Peace by Pam Blizzard
    Daring Ventures - Couples Intensives with Dr. Jake Porter

    Final Thought

    Thank you for sitting in with us today. Our deepest desire is that you will find encouragement, insight, and maybe even a laugh or two in the many episodes to come. We will talk with you again in two weeks.

  • In this episode we discuss Discovery Day, one of the most painful days in the life of a wife who discovers her husband has been viewing pornography or is compulsively acting out sexually. The day of discovery is typically called D-Day, because just like the Normandy Beach invasion during WWII, this day is full of death, wounding, and trauma.

    D-Day is not the end of the story, though! We will leave you with hope.

    Your hosts are:
    Pam Blizzard of Recovered Peace
    Lyschel Burket of Hope Redefined
    Bonny Burns of Strong Wives

    We will be discussing:

    What comes to mind for each of us personally as we think of Discovery Day? What patterns do we see in partners immediately after discovery? What is the best thing a wife can do for herself immediately after discovering her husband's problematic sexual behavior? What hope can we leave our listeners with?

    Resources:

    APSATS.org - The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists Find a specially trained therapist or coach who understands betrayal, trauma and recovery. Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life A Door of Hope A Door of Hope Peer Facilitator Training Community

    Thank you for sitting in with us today. Our deepest desire is that you will find encouragement, insight, and maybe even a laugh or two in the many episodes to come. We will talk with you again in two weeks.

    We all offer 1 to 1 coaching, groups, and other resources on our individual websites. Check us out and get to know us better!

    Transcript Hope for Wives Episode 2

  • Welcome to the very first episode of Hope For Wives, where three Christian recovery experts candidly discuss the journey to overcome the impact of sexual betrayal.

    With your co-hostesses:

    Pam Blizzard from recoveredpeace.com Lyschel Burket from hoperedefined.org Bonny Burns from strongwives.com

    We will be discussing:

    Who we are Why we have a heart for betrayed wives Our mission Who will benefit from listening to our podcast How we are intentionally formatting the podcast for our listeners

    Learn more about us at our website, Hope For Wives.