Episodes
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Listen now: Today, we are continuing our discussion around, âHow to Make Time for Healing.â In the last episode, we walked through how she can care for herself through the first phase of healing, safety and stability. Our incredible guest, Casey Allison, is back with us today! In our questions now, we will focus on the second stage of healing, remembering and mourning. We Will be Discussing:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com1.What are some experiences busy women have when they enter into grief?
2. What are some practical tools we can offer women in this season?
3. What hope can we leave our listeners today?
Resources mentioned in this show:Episode 20: Healing from the Impact of Sexual Betrayal Through Grief
Come Awake with Coach Casey Allison
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Listen now: Today, we are discussing how to make time for healing, especially when you are a busy, maybe youâre a mom with a full-time career, or a woman who runs her own small business, or a woman who has a passion for volunteering. We Will be Discussing: What are some experiences busy women have when first discovery rocks her world? What are some first steps for her to consider to move toward stability and safety? What hope can we leave our listeners today? Resources mentioned in this show:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comCome Awake with Casey Allison
So Help Me God by Benjamin Hastings
Scripture references:1 Peter 5:7
Romans 5:3-5
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Missing episodes?
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Listen now:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comToday, Lyschel has a conversation with Kim Hansen Petroni around the question of divorce. Kim is an APSATS certified partner coach and has experienced divorce. She is in the process of becoming a certified divorce coach.
We Will be Discussing: What should a wife ask herself when sheâs struggling around the decision of divorce? What about the tension between the grief/the emotions and the next right thing? What are some free or cost-friendly legal resources? What are some free or cost-friendly resources for women who have already divorced? What is the number one thing a woman needs to heal? What does God really say about divorce? Resources mentioned in this show:To find all of Kimâs resources and blog posts, check out her website, Coaching Hope 4 U.
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Listen now: Today, Pam and I are finishing our conversation around âHow Do I Know That Iâm Healing.â (Lyschel still isnât with us, but she will be back soon! We have a practical conversation, about things you can do to assess are you healing or stuck? We Will be Discussing: What can she practically do to help her move forward in her healing and recovery? What hope can we leave our listeners? Resources mentioned in this show:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comWriting to Heal by James Pennebaker, Ph.D
Clearing Cognitive Distortions by Pam Blizzard
22 Examples of Cognitive Distortions and Worksheet from Positive Psychology
Scripture references:2 Corinthians 10:5
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Listen now: Today, Pam and I are discussing, âHow Do I Know Iâm Healing?â (Lyschel isnât here because she is taking a very small sabbatical because her plate is very full at the moment. She will be back soon, promise! I know we will all miss her!) Back to our topic, âHow Do I Know Iâm healing?â sometimes, in the worst of the pain or when we have a day full of triggers it can feel like we are going to be raw and seeping for the rest of our lives. We want to give you validate your experience and give perspective on how healing happens. We Will be Discussing: What can a woman experience that makes her feel stuck? What questions can she ask herself to assess if she is in fact stuck? What hope can we leave our listeners? Help Us Help Others
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com -
With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Today we are continuing our discussion around, âWhen Your Husband Keeps Lying,â adding practical tools to care for yourself while navigating continued deception. So, the scenario is, she keeps discovering his deception (and possibly it is not deception about his acting out behaviors, it can be deception about anything), whether itâs through words or actions. We Will be Discussing: What are some things she should ask herself? What are some practical strategies to help her stay sane? What is some hope we can leave her? Resources mentioned in this show:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comFor Hope Redefinedâs small group listing and retreat information go to: Hope Redefined
For Strong Wivesâ Sexual Clarity Class go to: Sexual Clarity Class
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Today we discuss, "When Your Husband Keeps Lying." We understand that experiencing constant deception is not only emotionally exhausting, but can keep us in a state of complex trauma. . We Discuss: Let's talk about what women are desiring when it comes to honesty in their marriage relaitonship. What is complex trauma and how does continual deception promote it? What hope can we leave? Resources
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comEpisode 6: Boundaries for Partners of People with Unwanted Problematic Sexual Behavior
Episode 21: Q&A - Boundaries and Why do I Stay?
Building True Intimacy by Dan Drake and Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comToday, Bonny continues her conversation with Jessica Eidens, a betrayed families specialist.
We Discuss: How does a betrayed partner (wife) navigate when the person with SA has been objectifying their own child (not in a physical manner, just in the brain). What does a healthy family in recovery look like? What hope can we leave our friends? ResourcesYou can find Jessica through her practiceâs website: https://www.eidenstherapy.com/jessica-eidens-lmhc-cmhs-csat-ccps
âCome As You Are,â Emily Nagoski, book.
âBefore the Sex Talk,â by Linda Noble and Linda Stewart, book.
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comOur previous episode, âWhat about the kids?â is one of our most downloaded episodes. This tells us there is a need for more insight and understanding around how problematic sexual behavior affects the family.
So, today, Iâd like to welcome Jessica Eidens, a betrayed families specialist.
We Discuss: What are the red flags children exhibit from the dynamics of a marriage in conflict over problematic sexual behavior? What are some tools for children to learn how to navigate their emotions? What is a family disclosure and when is it appropriate? ResourcesYou can find Jessica through her practiceâs website: https://www.eidenstherapy.com/jessica-eidens-lmhc-cmhs-csat-ccps
Big Little Feelings
Gottman Emotion Coaching
Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child by Dr. John Gottman Help Us Help Others -
With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Today, we continue our discussion around how a wife can heal even when her husband is not in good emotional and behavioral health, yet. We will be focusing on practical tools and ideas you can use to care for yourself and move into personal growth in spite of her husband's lag in recovery. We Discuss: Why should a wife focus on herself in this season? What are some ways a wife can care for herself in this tough season? (Self-assess your safety, get into a support group for validation and education, do your own personal therapy work for childhood trauma, join a boundaries group if boundaries are hard for you) What hope can we leave our listeners? Resources
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comEpisode 8: Self Care with Practical Ideas
Episode 33: Why are Cognitive Distortions Important to Understand when Healing from Betrayal Trauma?
Episode 34: How Do We Navigate or Heal From Cognitive Distortions
Pam's Clarity and Peace with Boundaries Group
Lyschel's Hope Redefined Boundaries Group
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
In today's episode, we are discussing how your healing is not dependent on your husband's recovery. This conversation has wives in mind that have been on this road for several years now and there is still a good bit of relational conflict in the marriage. In our next episode, we will talk about practical tools you can consider to care for yourself while he is still moving toward solid emotional health. For today, we are talking about what it means for you, that your healing is not dependent on his recovery. We Discuss: What kind of situations and feelings can come up for a wife when his recovery is slow going? Let's talk about the concept that a wife's healing is not dependent on his recovery. What hope can we leave a wife who is in this situation? Help Us Help Others
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com -
With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
With the holidays right around the corner, we talk about how to navigate this season that can be tricky for betrayed wives. We Discuss: What makes the holidays hard to navigate after a recent discovery? What are some practical tools for finding stability and sanity during a holiday season? What hope can we leave our listeners? Resources mentioned in this show: True Cotton Etsy Store The Huberman Lab: The Science of Gratitude and How to Build a Practice of Gratitude
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comThe Shepherd from The Chosen series
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Today, we continue our discussion of how sobriety isn't enough to build a mutually connected relationship in marriage. We Discuss: What can a wife do to help him in his recovery? What are some practical tools a wife can implement if her husband is sober and still displaying dysfunctional ways of coping and relating to others? What hope can we leave our listeners? Resources mentioned in this show:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comClarity and Peace through Boundaries with Pam Blizzard
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Help Us Help Others With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Today, we unpack recovery just a little more. In episode 35 we had an insightful discussion with Dr. Jake Porter about the three legged stool of recovery - her recovery, his self-discovery, and the coupleships relational repair and growth. We are calling this episode sobriety isn't enough because we are exploring a wife's experience with a husband who may be sober but is not in a space of self-discovery. We Discuss: What's a quick understanding of sobriety versus recovery? What perspectives have you had or heard from your clients about a husband who is not in a place of recovery? (i.e. no skills to cope and no capacity, window of tolerance) What hope can we leave a wife who is in this situation? Resources mentioned in this show:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comEpisode 35: A Recovery Conversation with Dr. Jake Porter
Scripture references:James 1:16
Romans 15:13
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With:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Today:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comWe have our special friend back, Shawna Meek. She shares her own recovery journey and wisdom/training around neurodivergent couples.
"Here's what my husband would say, 'Neurodivergence is not an excuse. It's an insight,'" Shawna Meek.
We discuss: What is neurodiversity? What are some common concerns in neurodiverse couples' dynamics? What are some of the challenges a neurodiverse couple will face? How does a couple go around getting testing for the person who appears neurodiverse? What hope can you leave for our listeners? Resources mentioned:ASD Couples Tools
ASD Resource List
Help Us Help Others
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Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Today, we are continuing the discussion around sexual experience for wives healing form betrayal. Sexual intimacy is a part of a healthy marriage. However, how can a wife want to engage sexually after infidelity or betrayal. We discuss: Letâs talk about what a wife should ask herself before considering whether to engage sexually with her husband in recovery? What hope can we leave our listeners? Resources mentioned:
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comDisclaimer: The following recommendation was written for the general population and general marriages. Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples
The Coupleâs Guide to Intimacy: How Sexual Reintegration Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Heal
Scripture references:1 Corinthians 7:1-6
Help Us Help Others
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Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
TRIGGER WARNING. This content may be trigger your threat response. Please use your self-compassion and decide whether this is right for you to hear at this time.
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.com
NOT SAFE FOR SMALL EARS. Please wear your ear buds for privacy and to protect small ones. Welcome to another episode of Hope For Wives. Today, we are discussing a very important topic, the impact sexual betrayal has on a wifeâs sexuality. We Will be Discussing: What is a sexual identity? are some ways wives are impacted in the area of their sexual identity after infidelity or sexual betrayal? What are some ways a wife can heal from the rupture to their sexual identity? What hope can we leave our listeners? Resources mentioned in this show:Sexual Clarity for Christian Women, class led by Bonny L. Burns (Strong Wives).
Scripture references:Genesis 4:1
Psalm 139:23
Philippians 4:6
Help Us Help Others
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Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comToday, we are continuing our conversation around the churchâs response to betrayal trauma, sex addiction, and sexual issues in marriage. Last episode we shared stories of churches that have responded well and churches that responded poorly. We finish this topic by brainstorming solutions for the leadership of churches to consider in this vulnerable and tender area of sex and betrayal.
We Discuss: What would you tell Pastors about the consequence problematic porn viewing has on the husband? What would you tell Pastors about couples who come to them with sexual issues in their marriage? What hope can we leave? ResourcesBrain, Heart, World is a Docuseries about the harmful effects of pornography
Fight the New Drug is a non-profit, non-religious, non-political entity that stands against the harms of porn.
Heart of Man is a movie that Pam mentioned regarding father wounds. Here is a link to watch it on Amazon for 1.99.
Here is a journal article on the topic mentioned by Lyschel, Compulsive Internet Pornography Use and Mental Health.
The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It.
APSATS (association of partners of sex addicts trauma specialists) have a special training for religious leaders, BTRL (Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader). Find out more about it here.
The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire
For Christian Wives podcast â a tasteful round table discussion about sexual experience and sexuality. Disclaimer: the audience is intended to be the general population of Christian wives (not necessarily betrayed partners), trauma informed.
Help Us Help Others
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comToday, we are diving into a hard conversation. How can the church better navigate walking with wives trying to heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, husbands struggling with problematic sexual behavior, and couples presenting with sexual problems?
We are engaging in this conversation to help you have richer understanding of this complicated plague of pornography and the fall-out it has on the wives and families of men struggling with problematic sexual behavior.âDo the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.â Maya Angelou.
We Discuss: We start by sharing what weâve seen done well in this area and poorly in this area. What would you tell Pastors about the consequence of problematic porn viewing on the wife? On the family? What hope can we leave?Resources Mentioned:
Pirate Monk podcast with Sam Black (author of, The Healing Church)
The Prepared Ministry, a free resource from Covenant Eyes.
The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It
Trauma Reboot â free resources for churches to learn to care for trauma survivors well.
Help Us Help Others
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With your co-hostesses:
Pam Blizzard from RecoveredPeace.com
Today, we are continuing our discussion around the âwork of recoveryâ for the wife overcoming the impact of sexual betrayal. Last episode we generally defined what it means to work out our recovery and what it looks like in the days immediately following discovery. In this episode, letâs discuss what recovery work entails when we are further down the healing path? âGrief is a luxury for the brain that knows itâs safe,â Dr. Jake Porter. We Discuss: What is the work she encounters after sheâs found stability and is moving into grief and mourning? Does the âwork of recoveryâ ever end? What hope can we leave our listeners?
Lyschel Burket from HopeRedefined.org
Bonny Burns from StrongWives.comVerses Mentioned:
James 1:2, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds..."
Romans 5:1-5, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because Godâs love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."Help Us Help Others
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