![[HDYK special] 16 lessons I learnt before turning 32](https://is3-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Podcasts115/v4/9c/83/21/9c8321d1-d0f7-8cc8-e922-02c65aa978e7/mza_9035410937107518217.jpg/250x250bb.jpg)
Episodes
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Seeking to learn the story behind his remarkable approach, I asked Ian if he’d have a chat about his almost 30 years of cybersecurity experience and everything beyond it. I was not surprised - and certainly delighted - to find honesty, authenticity, and a set of strong beliefs in his anecdotes and experiences.
Ian’s videos – the CyberOff Youtube channelVanilla Ian – Rapping about using safe passwordsCyber Sexline (it’s NOT what you think – or is it?)The Cuckoo’s Egg: Tracking a Spy Through the Maze of Computer Espionage by Clifford StollTalking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know by Malcolm GladwellThe Confidence Game: Why We Fall for It… Every Time by Maria Konnikova -
Listen to this episode to learn:Why I decided to go on my own and build a freelancing business [2:15]How you may be doing your people a disservice by letting your self-limiting beliefs hold you back from showing up for them [8:17]How my belief system held me back and delayed my crossover into freelancing by months [10:21]How to use the self-coaching model to change the beliefs at the top so you can shift your feelings, behavior, and the results they produce [11:36] How I use Twitter to expand my perspective, make friends, and feed my brain with good ideas [14:00] Why Louis built STFO for people who didn’t believe in themselves as much as they should in saturated markets where you can find a lot of direct competitors [20:24] What stopped me from giving up on my non-cybersecurity clients and how I eventually learn to say no [21:49] How I cope with the imposter syndrome that comes with working in the cybersecurity industry in a non-technical role [26:00] What I took from Louis’ Stand The F*ck Out workshop [32:00] Louis’ challenge for the next stage of my professional evolution and a question you may want to ask yourself [42:44] What surprised me the most about Stand The F*ck Out and why it set a new standard from what I expect of high-intensity workshops [46:30]
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Missing episodes?
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A few ideas that stuck with me:When you feel that you can’t make a difference through your job and gain satisfaction, it’s time to change your path.We become aware of the real impact of cybercrime when it happens to us or someone close to us.Being mindful of what you post on social media is something for which your future self will thank you.Cybercrime affects people emotionally and lowers their self-esteem as it creates confusion about what is real and what is notSeeing yourself through a hacker’s eyes helps you understand why your data privacy truly mattersAll the decisions we make for our safety impact our loved ones – either positively or negatively.
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Listen to this episode to learn:What your gut feeling really is (from someone with a strong understanding of neuroscience) and how it guides us in making the right choicesPlenty of reasons why a good night’s rest makes you more efficient and active during the dayThe importance of including gratitude in your evening routine for much better sleep and a healthier mind.Two essential factors that influence your decisions and help you live your life more fullyHow empathy makes you a wiser decision-maker (and generally a better person)How having a more conservative or more progressive personality influences your life and the choices that shape it.Connect with Tim Ash:Tim’s websiteTwitterLinkedInUnleash Your Primal Brain – the website
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A few ideas that stuck with me:The only thing you can control is your reaction to external events.Focusing more on our hobbies and less on external issues helps strengthen our mind-body connection.No matter what time of day you work out, it helps you get better sleep. With a rested mind, you get more clarity to make better decisions.A coach observes your unconscious and damaging habits and suggests a better route to achieve your most meaningful goals.Don’t evaluate the result of decisions but focus on your decision-making process. Wondering how to do that? Create a decision book to keep track of your choices. Use it to analyze the best and the worst things that can happen so you can expand your options and perspective.
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A few ideas that stuck with me:Freelancing involves discipline, maintaining good mental health, and taking control of your future. All that depends on becoming a good boss for yourself.Freelancing is not for everyone because it requires you to play a range of different roles.Doing any form of sports is fundamental for your mental health and it also forms the basis to build a bunch of other life-changing healthy habits.Being a freelancer means you are a business owner. It can be a way for you to turn your passion into a very well paid job IF you take it seriously.It’s very important to cultivate a strong relationship with small groups of people who share your interests and principles. It’s one of the best ways to open yourself up to amazing opportunities for your work and personal development.Connect with Tom:LinkedInTwitterTomHirst.com
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A few ideas that stuck with me:“Leaders who didn’t invest in their culture pre-pandemic are finding this transition [to remote or hybrid work] a lot harder.”9 out of 10 companies don’t know how to embed their culture, values, mission, and vision into how the company works.“Culture is the glue that keeps the team running in the same direction”Young people should write down their personal values and find a job that matches them - even though there may be a lot of trial and error involved at first.An undefined culture leads to financial issues, team problems, and poor performance.Playing a role at your job - one that doesn’t align with you as a person - causes too much anxiety and negativity to handle. It’s essential to bring your whole self to work.Connect with Brett:LinkedInTwitterCultureGene
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Listen to this episode to learn:How our brain makes decisions and reacts to highly unpredictable environmentsWhich type of processing dominates our decision-making process (subconscious vs conscious)How we make decisions when we’re in survival modeWhy our brain perceives intense cognitive effort as pain and what that means for the choice you makeHow emotions influence our choicesThe way our decision-making process influences our relationships with brandsWhy it’s important to look at the gap between what people say and what they do – both in others and in ourselvesHow a neuroscientist makes decisions knowing all this and moreConnect with Ana:LinkedInBuyer Brain
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Listen to this episode to learn:The fundamental role plays accepting reality in for your life and decisionsHow the scripts inside our heads lead us to stressing out, pointing fingers, and other counterproductive reactions and behaviorHow being aware of your own tendencies (to overthink or procrastinate, for example) makes it easier to find people who complement you and help you avoid going to extremesWhat Vladimir uses instead of mental models to cultivate a rational perspective on life and make judicious decisionsWhy reading with a detective’s mindset can make a big difference on what you do with the information you take inWhy writing is instrumental to any creative outcome, no matter the industry, because writing is a tool for thinking and because it’s immensely valuable for non-prescriptive jobsHow to activate the knowledge, ideas, notes, and information you gather in time.Connect with Vladimir:LinkedInTwitterBlogDeepstash
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Resources mentioned in the episode:A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backmanbooks by French social psychologist Jacques SaloméBrene Brown’s Rising StrongYoga with Adrienethe Bannersnack podcast season dedicated to empathy.Full transcript on the blog.
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Read the original article on imposter syndrome.
Check out the Creative Class podcast by Paul Jarvis and Kaleigh Moore.
Listen to my conversations with Paul Jarvis and Kaleigh Moore.
Get the full context for the "tiny hops over big leaps" idea from Josh Garofalo himself.
Get to know my coach, Andrei Rosca, and his great work! (Most of it in Romanian, though.)
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Listen to this episode to learn:
The importance of cybersecurity in our lives.The main characteristic of cyberattacks.The importance of using a password manager and how to turn it into a habit.How technology can protect us.Why cybersecurity can be understood by anyone, regardless of their area of expertise.A few ideas that stuck with me:
Anyone can become a victim of cyberattacks: Our entire life is online nowadays, whether we realize it or not. It’s become almost second-nature to us. We’re all users of technology to some extent, and this means we’re also responsible for protecting everything that we put on our devices. Back in the day, we might have thought that only big companies could be hacked. But now, since we’re all connected, we can be victims of random attacks that can erase our entire digital memory, in a second.Cybersecurity impacts our decision-making process: Once we become aware of the risks in the virtual world, we start paying more attention to what we do offline. We become more careful with the data we provide to different organizations - such as hotels - and we take measures to better protect our accounts – by using password managers, two-factor authentication or any other methods.Cybersecurity should be taught in schools: Kids nowadays were basically born with a smartphone in their hands and many of them don’t understand the concept of security and protecting their data. It’s up to us to teach them the risks and one way we can do that is by introducing the subject into their school curriculums. This can help to raise awareness to a larger public, such as their parents and even grandparents and it can also lead them towards becoming information security specialists themselves.About John Opdenakker:
John started his career as a developer for desktop applications, C++, C-Sharp, and web applications. As time went by, and he built and launched increasingly more web applications, one question in particular concerned him: how could he protect all the apps users’ data against attackers? To find the answer to this, John began to dig deep into the cybersecurity world, thus becoming an expert in this field.
John now tries to raise awareness on this topic by writing and publishing approachable, easy to understand articles on his blog, all on cybersecurity topics. He’s also very active on Twitter, where he tries to answer any question the general public might have and engage other Twitter users in constructive conversations about their data protection habits and perceptions.
Key Discussion Points:
03:51 - The main reason why most people have a difficult time relating to cybersecurity;
08:17 - What attracted John to the information security industry;
09:35 - Hack Yourself First – how a workshop that helps you see yourself through the eyes of an attacker changed his perception of how vulnerable he was online;
19:26 - What changed in John’s offline behavior, once he started learning more about online security;
23:08 - The importance of using a simple security measure, such as two-factor authentication;
26:33 - How to understand the concept of risk and why risk is important to decision-making regarding security;
32:18 - How to handle decision fatigue, as a cybersecurity professional;
37:13 – How a penetration test (pentest) can be useful for a fact-based perception and management of risk;
40:42 – The reasons we don’t perceive online risks as important to our safety as the offline ones are.
Connect with John:
LinkedInBlogTwitterResources mentioned in the episode:
Workshop: Hack Yourself FirstResources not mentioned in this show but that I created to help you improve your online security:
this cybersecurity glossary so you can understand what these technical terms are all about this Cybersecurity for Beginners course I created a few years ago with my former team at Heimdal, taken by tens of thousands of people around the worldThe Daily Security Tip: a string of daily, fun emails you can get in your inbox. Get a practical tip each day and a fun GIF to make securing your online stuff anything but boring -
Listen to this episode to learn:
The importance of using the basic knowledge of offline sales in the digital marketing space;The one mistake most digital marketers constantly make;How people managed to inject human emotion into the stark SEO world;The worst thing that can happen if your new business fails;Why asking basic questions leads to understanding a person’s perspective on the subject you’re interested in.A few ideas that stuck with me:
The power of observation – As digital marketers, we base many of our decisions on the data we are provided with by the different analytics software. However, the caveat to this approach is that we risk forgetting that behind those numbers there are real people with complex motivations and intentions. To remain connected to human nature, we can rely on observation - one of the most underused tactics. Questions like “Why did people take that decision? What problems are they facing? How can I connect that to a solution and a product?” can be especially revealing and can only be answered by paying attention to the human behavior. We can learn more by doing that than by reading any charts or books.Living versus existing – Finding and pursuing our passion is the element that differentiates these two notions. Experiment and see what works for you, what helps you grow, what makes you tick, and what gives you energy, because, at the end of the day, if you’re in a job or if you’re running a business that you don’t love, it will be hard to find the work-life balance that we’re all looking for.Never assume. Always ask questions – Matt emphasized that even if we’re sure we know the right answer, it doesn’t hurt to just ask - it might actually unveil new opportunities. Setting aside our ego and keeping an open mind to other people’s perspectives on a particular subject allows us to broaden our understanding of the answer, even if it’s something we consider basic.About Matt Woodward:
Since 2012, Matt has been publishing detailed tutorials and case studies focused on helping people grow their business and reach new levels of success, by increasing search traffic and profits.
Over the years, his blog - matthewwoodward.co.uk - received a bunch of awards and has helped thousands of people.
On top of his consistently great work, Matt is very transparent about his process. He published a monthly income report for nearly six years, complete with details about his journey of taking his blog from zero to a million dollars. He shares exactly what he did each month and why he did it, along with all of his traffic sources, income, and expenses.
Key Discussion Points:
01:35 – How Matt got started in digital marketing;
04:20 – The reason why Matt built his first website and what he learned from that experience;
08:40 – The one thing that stayed the same throughout the evolution of the Internet – seen through the eyes of an SEO specialist;
13:24 – What Matt has learned about human nature by working in the SEO world;
19:02 – Why Matt decided to move to Costa Rica;
25:24 – Matt’s transition from the corporate world into starting a business on his own;
35:50 – What is Matt’s first question when he interviews someone;
38:57 – The story of Matt’s income reports that he published every month for 6 years;
45:16 – The benefits of always asking the questions whose answers you think you already know.
Connect with Matt:
WebsiteYoutube ChannelLinkedInTwitterFacebookResources mentioned in the episode:
Matt's Income ReportsJohn Chow’s website -
Listen to this episode to learn:
The value of contexts where you can make an exponential (instead of an incremental) impactHow to avoid high-risk decisions by making small, strategic decisions Ways to manage the impact of social media on your own happiness and productivityHow to accelerate self-growth with personal experiments The compound interest of lifelong learningA few ideas that stuck with me:
Choosing a niche – as freelancers, we tend to chase every job in our field and get our hands on as many projects as we can. However, choosing a specialty and finding projects within that niche can - more often than not - give us the advantage we need to thrive in this world. This is a great piece of advice that many freelancers know but very few implement.Tiny hops versus big leaps – when it comes to business, creating a long-term strategy brings greater benefits than thinking short-term. When we have the big picture in place, it’s important to take small steps toward our vision and not rush into making big decisions. The compound effect of these tiny hops and changes, done over a long period of time, can offer a safe space for us to evolve.Keep learning when everyone else has stopped – being curious is a trait that a lot of us have, but sometimes we get lost in the adulthood trap, becoming too busy to feed our curiosities. Learning new things, studying not necessarily knowing exactly how it’s going to contribute to our life, may give us the edge in unexpected ways.About Josh Garofalo:
Josh is a SaaS Copywriter and the founder of Sway Copy.
He began writing copy for a B2B SaaS startup and that inspired him to start a career as a freelancer and choosing this particular niche.
He helped clients such as HubSpot or AWeber get more leads and sales. Josh’s main focus is to deliver great value in as little time as possible.
Key discussion points:
01:54 – What Josh turns his attention to, business-wise, at the moment
05:20 – Josh’s background in freelancing
09:14 – Choosing a niche in your field can separate you from the crowd
15:08 – The importance of learning statistics and doing academic research
25:41 – A cheat code to be more efficient in delivering a great project
33:18 – Making and breaking habits – be careful where you get your dopamine rush from
44:35 – Finding the balance between gratitude for what you have right now and being ambitious about your future plans
49:03 – Consistency is one of the key habits that helps people thrive
52:24 – Josh’s energy sources
Connect with Josh:
Sway Copy websiteLinkedInTwitterResources mentioned in the episode:
Joanna Wiebe - CopyhackersLouis Grenier - Everyone Hates Marketers (let's change that!)HDYK #15: Build life-changing habits (with Cristina Chipurici) -
“I’m not confident in all aspects of my life but I’m confident in my ability to make a decision that’s good for myself.”
Irina Nica, Senior Marketing Manager at HubSpot, candidly shares some of the most difficult and some of the most rewarding moments of the journey to build a new life in a different country and job.
While following her story, we get to learn how to make better decisions and also how to follow through on them. -
It really helps me to sit down and reflect on the past year and the new lessons I learned along the way. The habit of pondering on everything from how I do my work to the type of relationships I choose to engage in has had a BIG positive impact on me. I’ve improved my clarity of thought, avoided bad decisions, and gained the ability to internalize wins and finally enjoy them.
So here’s where I stand at 32, peering into the next year with curiosity and a stronger sense of self identity.
You can also read the original article on the blog or share this episode with someone you think might find it useful.
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Alan mentioned the work of Howard Gardner, developmental psychologist, co-founder of The Good Project at Harvard, which encourages excellence, ethics, and engagement in education, and Senior Director of Project Zero, an educational research group at the Harvard Graduate School of Education dedicated to understanding and enhancing learning and thinking.
Howard Gardner is best known for his theory of multiple intelligences (extra details on Wikipedia and in this summary), which makes for a fascinating read.
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Another key concept Alan touched on is René Girard’s mimetic theory.
I found this Stanford Magazine article about Girard to be intriguing which made me want to read more about this theory and its implications:
History is a test. Mankind is failing it.
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Our conversation reminded me of James P. Carse’s book, Finite and Infinite Games, which I highly recommend you read.
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He also reminds us of this famous quote from cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead:
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.”
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Alan also talks about neurological levels in NLP and how they can help us constantly assess whether the destination we’re heading towards is what we want for our future selves, irrespective of our current job/role/situation.
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This was a delightful episode to record and I’m thankful to the current How To Web team for making it happen!
If you want to learn more from Alan Clayton and a bunch of other fantastic humans beings (and truly impactful leaders and specialists), join me at How To Web on October 30-31, 2019 in Bucharest!
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We didn't plan for it, but our conversation has 6 parts (topic-wise) that are key for a healthy decision-making process you can rely on.
Listen and let your mind explore all the ways it can get better at making choices that make you uncomfortable now that will lead to better outcomes for your future.
It’s time to show up for yourself more often.
Will you start here? Now?
LINKS & RESOURCES:
- Xenia's LinkedIn profile
- Her company, Planable
- Xenia on Twitter
- Mathilde Collin, one of Xenia's role models
- The lIzard brain
- On emotional labor
- The 1-hour practice
- Creating headspace by cutting off notifications
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Marius takes us on a grand tour of his life, packed with adventure, seemingly insurmountable challenges, life-changing realisations, and what connects them all together.
Discover more of his work and the books and ideas that shaped his decision-making process:
Marius' websiteMarius' LinkedInMarius on TwitterHis work on DribbbleDesigner NewsReworkCompany of OneInteraction designBrand Sense: Build Powerful Brands through Touch, Taste, Smell, Sight, and Sound by Martin Lindstrom -
Val was all about real-life experiences, so here's where you can find out more about her work and process:
Val's websiteVal's LinkedInVal on TwitterJay Acunzo - Break the Wheel: Question Best Practices, Hone Your Intuition, and Do Your Best Work - Show more
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