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In this episode, we're diving into the difficult and emotional topic of creating a custody schedule. Whether you’re just beginning the divorce process or in the thick of it, figuring out the best arrangement for your children while managing your own emotions can feel overwhelming. We’re here to help you break it down, with guidance from family law attorney and mediator Rebecca Parra. Rebecca brings a wealth of experience in creating custody plans and offers practical tools to help you make the best decisions for your family.
In this episode, we answer questions like:
What are the biggest challenges parents face when creating a custody plan?How can the new Custody Navigator tool help visualize and plan your custody schedule?What creative custody arrangements can be used for non-traditional work schedules?How do factors like child support affect custody agreements?What can you expect from mediation, and how can it help you come to a peaceful resolution?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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In this episode, we explore the relationship between alcohol and divorce, diving into how exactly how drinking impacts your emotional state, decision-making, and overall well-being during one of life’s most challenging times. This episode IS NOT about giving up drinking completely; it’s about understanding when alcohol is helping or hurting as you navigate the divorce process.
In this episode, you'll learn:
-What actually happens in your brain when you drink to cope with stress?
-How do you know if you're drinking for the wrong reasons?
-What are the warning signs that you’re blowing past your emotional "stop signs"?
-What action steps can you take to keep your relationship with alcohol in check during a divorce?
Our guest, Colleen Kachmann, known as the "Hangover Whisperer," is a recovery-certified master coach and an expert in alcohol use awareness. She shares science-backed insights on the impact of alcohol on the body and mind during stressful periods and offers practical advice on mindful drinking.
Remember, this episode is here to guide you without judgment—only support. Whether you decide to drink less, stay mindful, or seek more support, we’re here to help you navigate this journey in the healthiest way possible.
Connect with Colleen:
Website: https://www.colleenkachmann.com/
Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer
Tiktok: @hangoverwhisperer
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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In today’s episode, we’re tackling one of the toughest realities of divorce: custody. Custody arrangements can feel unnatural, overwhelming, and emotional. Deciding when and how much time you spend with your children after a divorce is never easy, but it’s an unavoidable part of the process. In this episode, we break down how to handle custody agreements, how to mentally prepare for time away from your kids, and what you need to know to navigate this difficult terrain.
We share personal insights and experiences, including the pain of feeling like you’re “having your cake and eating it too” and how to come to terms with these challenging decisions. Special guest Heather Quick, founder of the Florida Women’s Law Group, joins us to explain how custody laws have changed in Florida and what that means for parents.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why custody arrangements can feel so unnatural and how to start accepting this new reality.How the new Florida custody law that assumes 50/50 time-sharing affects parents.The importance of planning for holidays, summers, and unexpected changes in parenting plans.How to prioritize your children's needs while managing your own emotions and mental health.Why you need to think long-term when negotiating custody agreements.We answer the questions:
What do you do when you just can’t agree to 50/50 custody?How do you plan custody arrangements for holidays and summers?What are some real-life examples of custody agreements that work (and don’t work)?Is it really possible to modify a custody plan later?How do you start emotionally preparing for time away from your kids?Whether you're in the middle of a custody battle, preparing for it, or just want more insight into how to handle this part of divorce, this episode will give you the perspective and tools you need to navigate this tough chapter with more clarity. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you!
Connect with Heather:
Website: https://www.floridawomenslawgroup.com/
Tune in to learn how you can handle these difficult decisions without losing your sanity (or your dignity).
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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In this episode, we dive into the difficult topic of feeling strung along in a marriage. Whether your spouse is coming and going as they please or avoiding making a decision about your future together, it can leave you feeling powerless. The hosts discuss how midlife changes like perimenopause and stress only make these dynamics more challenging, but the real focus is on how to take back your power by setting boundaries.
Morgan shares a real-life story about a client stuck in this frustrating limbo, and they explore how setting boundaries—though scary—can be the key to getting clarity in your relationship. With humor and compassion, they tackle why it’s so important to reclaim control, even if it means being labeled the "bad guy."
In this Episode, You’ll Learn:
How to recognize if you're being strung along in your marriage.Why setting boundaries might be the healthiest move (even if it feels terrifying).How midlife changes like perimenopause can impact your emotional and mental well-being.What to do when your spouse seems to have one foot in and one foot out of the relationship.Why sometimes being the bad guy is the best thing you can do for yourself.How hair extensions may not save your marriage, but they sure can comfort you through tough times.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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In today's episode, it's REAL TALK as we tackle some of the biggest hurdles in divorce—financials, legal strategy, and emotional resilience. We talk about staying calm under pressure, understanding your finances, and working effectively with your attorney.
Are you feeling overwhelmed by the flood of legal requests? Unsure whether you're working with the right attorney? Or maybe you're wondering what purchases to make before you file for divorce? These are just some of the questions we tackle in this episode.
Key Questions Explored:
Do you really have to respond to every demand from your ex immediately?What simple action can help you reset when you're overwhelmed?Why might a phone call or face-to-face meeting with your attorney be a smarter move than sending another email?What should you do if you're unsure your attorney is the right fit for you?Is there a smart time to make big purchases before your divorce?How can you protect what you brought into the marriage, financially?What red flags should you watch for during the divorce process?Can understanding tax implications actually help you negotiate better terms?Hit play for these practical tips and secrets to help you feel more confident and in control during your divorce.
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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In today's episode, guess what we’re tackling today? Yep—money.
Let’s be honest, talking finances is about as fun as doing taxes, but it’s one of the biggest reasons people hit pause on their divorce plans. Fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, but don’t worry, we’ve got you covered!
Joining us is Phil Weiss, a certified CPA, CFA, and RLP (that’s fancy speak for financial wizard 🧙♂️), and he’s here to break down the scary stuff. Phil’s personal story is a reminder of why understanding your finances is key, and he’ll guide us through the basics—from budget apps to aligning your money with your values (yes, that’s a thing).
We’re diving into how to plan financially before, during, and after your divorce, and why having the right attorney is as crucial as knowing how to log into your online bank account (don’t act like you haven’t forgotten!).
Tune in for some straight talk, practical tips, and a whole lot of empowerment as you tackle those financial fears head-on.
Schedule a free consultation with Phil HERE
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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In today's episode, we talk to therapist Hilary Rosenberg for a candid conversation about the challenges of recognizing and addressing deep-rooted issues in marriage. We explore the psychological effects of denial, the toll pretense takes on personal well-being and children, and why it’s essential to speak out about relationship struggles. Hilary shares insights on attachment styles and the importance of self-awareness, offers practical steps for navigating emotional turmoil and contemplating divorce with clarity and mental well-being. You got this, friend!
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
And if you're looking for the link to the magical eyelid lifters...you're 100% not alone...Andrea tried them after this episode was recorded and is obsessed.
Here's the amazon link: https://shorturl.at/pINWj
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Connect with Hilary:
Website: https://www.millenniumhope.com
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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You are in for a juicy treat, friends! In today's episode, we bring on shareholder and family law attorney Kara Chrobak who specializes in high-net-worth divorce to talk about various infamous celebrity divorces! That's right- We touch on Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck, Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan, and Billy Ray Cyrus & Fire Rose. We explore legal intricacies such as the lack of prenups, intellectual property disputes, and contested spending, equitable vs. community property states, importance of identifying intangible assets, and understanding alimony. You DON'T want to miss this one.
Connect with Kara:
Linked in
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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We're baaaack! And today we're talking about common divorce myths and you know how we do- we're providing practical advice for navigating high-conflict separations. The episode addresses misconceptions about co-parenting, alimony, legal advantages for moms, and the impact of infidelity. We also examine the realistic limitations of court intervention in cases of emotional abuse and share personal success stories to inspire hope for post-divorce happiness.
Join our private Facebook community!
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantastic resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
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In this important re-air, we're here with Dr. Meaghan Boston Daly to talk about divorce and physical wellness. Dr. Meg is a concierge internal medicine doctor in Chicago and has quite the resume. We're so excited to be able to pick her beautiful brain.
**And if you're already contemplating divorce, go check out our crash course.
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
We'll discuss how being in an unhappy marriage really wears us down. Dr. Meg will tell us all about the subtle physical symptoms of emotional stress, Morgan will answer if your spouse can find out if you're on medication for your mental health during the divorce process, and Andrea will share about the connection between her body pain and being in a toxic marriage.
Where to find Dr. Meg: www.harper-health.com
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
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Oh friends, you won't want to miss this episode. Morgan and Andrea are back this week (with an amazing re-air) with top Dallas family law attorney, Rebecca Armstong, find her here! talking about the things you SHOULD and SHOULDN'T do after you file for divorce.
First off, do you have the DCC???
If not, you 100% need this tool so you don't totally screw up in your divorce process. It will save you THOUSANDS of dollars!!
GET IT HERE!
Rebecca, Morgan and Andrea answer:
-What 3 things should you do after you file for divorce?
-What 3 things should you absolutely NOT do after you file for divorce?
-Do I need a therapist if I'm going through a divorce?
-Can being in therapy be used against me if I'm going through a divorce?
-Why should I go to an annual checkup at the doctor during a divorce?
-Can I record my spouse during an argument and use it during divorce proceedings?
-Will my spending habits be scrutinized during a divorce?
-What advice did Oprah give Andrea about her own divorce?
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Let's talk about co parenting, shall we??
Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your co parenting journey and we are HUGE fans of what they do.
http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
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How do you know if it's time to leave your marriage??
Is your marraige worth saving??
How the hell do you do that and who the hell is going to help you figure that out???
Ever wondered if you would benefit from Discernment Counseling? The founder of discernment counseling, Dr. Bill Doherty, joins us on the podcast to find out . Not only did Dr. Doherty develop a specific type of counseling for couples where one is considering divorce, he's also been on Oprah not just once, but twice! From Harpo to How Not To Suck At Divorce, Dr. Doherty is moving up in the world, that's for sure. (hahahhaa)
Discernment counseling is when one person is leaning OUT of the relationship and considering divorce and the other person is leaning IN and wants to try to make things work. This type of counseling gives people clarity and confidence based on a deeper understanding of what has happened in the marriage.
Dr. Doherty answers the questions:
1 What is discernment counseling?
2 Does discernment counseling solve problems in the marriage?
3 What are the differences between couples therapy and discernment counseling?
4 How long is discernment counseling?
5 What are the three paths of discernment counseling?
6 How do I know if we should try couples therapy or discernment counseling?
Stay until the end because Dr. Doherty blows the lid off traditional therapy and tells us he favorite type of wine (you won't believe his answer).
You can find Dr. Bill Doherty and search for a local discernment counselor at
http://www.discernmentcounseling.com
*Do you have our DCC?? If you're considering divorce, you should!!
https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
And don't forget about Our Family Wizard. It's our #1 app for coparents who are looking to not suck at this process! Check them out here:
http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Please hit the 5 stars in your podcast app, we need the external validation, but more importantly, it helps our podcast show up in searches so we can help those who are struggling through the divorce process.
Remember, you got this and we got you.
Slide into our dms, we love hearing from you! @theandrearappaport @divorceattorneychicago @hownottosuckatdivorce
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How do you know when your marriage is over?
How do you know if it's just a phase or if something that was once there will never really come back?
Did you "try hard enough" to "save your marraige" and what does that even mean???
At what point can you confident that divorce is the right decision for you???
What we have learned in our professional careers as a family law attorney and hosting this podcast is that sometimes hearing other people's stories help you relate more to your own. So today, we are re airing an episode from the second season of our show which features someone's personal story about when they knew their marriage was offically over.
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And if you're ready to begin the divorce process, you NEED the DCC! It's our one of a kind, Divorce Crash Course. This course literally holds your hand through all of your major decisions. You'll avoid MAJOR mistakes and save up to THOUSANDS of dollars because you're getting advice from one the most sought after divorce attorneys in the country!! For $97, this course will change your life. And we mean that. Check it out here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
We welcome guest and retired husband, Mike Draper, to the show as he shares his story of when he knew it was over and what life after divorce is really like for a single dad. Check out Magic Mike, (I'm sorry), I mean Mortgage Mike on IG @mortgage_mike
As always we're keeping it real and keeping the levity because this process is tough enough. But you are never alone. You got this and we got you.
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If you need support with coparenting- or maybe you just want some extra insight into what coparenting will look for you- look no further than Our Family Wizard. You can get specialized information that WE created with OFW just for our listeners here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
And don't worry, we are back with fresh episodes in just a few weeks!!
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If you haven't been living under a rock, you saw the movie: The Wolf of Wall Street.
Now you're going to hear about the real life experience of being married to infamous character in which the movie was written about.
So what was it like being married to the Wolf of Wall Street?? Wel, their eight-year marriage began as a fairytale, filled with romantic dinners, expensive gifts, and lavish parties. But once they were bonded, Jordan’s ‘mask’ began to slip and acts of infidelity, narcissistic abuse, insatiable greed, and uncontrollable drug addiction became Nadine’s living nightmare. Nadine naively believed that their connection was real, and that her love could save him, so she remained trauma-bonded until the pain of their relationship became too much to bear. It would be decades before she realized her story resembled thousands of other women’s relational experiences. At the age of 30, Dr Nadine, or Dr Nae as she's often referred, packed up her curtains and kids and relocated to Los Angeles. She began a transformative process of intensive therapy and deep self-reflection, which required facing her pain, admitting, and owning her mistakes, and reconnecting with the authentic self she’d lost due to Jordan’s abuse. Through her own healing, a passion for helping others was born. She returned to school at 39 to become a psychotherapist, and ten years later, graduated with a PhD in Counseling and Somatic Psychology.You’re also going to hear find out the hell can you do so that you're not carrying around this weight and this storm cloud for the rest of your life.
To learn more about how YOU can work directly with Dr Nae (and we know you want to), check her out here: https://drnae.com/about-dr-nadine-macaluso/#
AND, grab her book, Run Like Hell here: https://drnae.com/run-like-hell-book/
So tune in as we chat with Dr. Nadine Macaluso, a clinical expert and ex-wife of the real-life Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort.
If you're in need of coparenting support- look no further than Our Family Wizard. We LOVE them. Head here for more information: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
And finally, if Dr Nae's story sound at all like yours...you NEED the Divorce Crash Course, get it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
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Okay, let’s face it- if you’re listening to this podcast you know that (& if you’re a new listener you will soon find out) community, and support during divorce, is SO IMPORTANT.
When you can't decide whether you need to scream in your car/bathroom/ or random aisle at Target, you need to know who you can turn to who will comfort you, make you laugh, and remind you that this horrible phase that you're in will not be your forever.
Today on the show we’re talking to our good friend, and dad of three: Rob Roseman. Rob is also the founder of WTF Divorce. We adore Rob and on this episode he shares his journey of realizing the significance of finding support through online communities after going through a divorce of his own.
In this episode, we talk:
-Challenges of isolation
-Benefits of relatable humor
-Critical advice for engaging with credentialed professionals
-Rob's book "WTF Divorce" and all of the joy it can bring to your life!! Check out the book here: amazon link!
Follow Rob on IG- 139K already do!! http://www.instagram.com/wtfdivorce
Listen to this episode to learn how community helps make a difficult process more bearable and even bring some much-needed laughter into your life!
If you're starting your divorce process, you NEED the DCC, check that out here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey! Visit our special landing page for them to learn more about why are one of the MUST HAVES for your divorce. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
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We know - it sounds pretty daunting and impossible. This episode is full of actionable steps for you to take.
In this episode, we chat again with forensic psychotherapist guest, Micaela Van Dine https://mvdpsychotherapy.com/, about how to prepare to leave your abusive marriage.
You're going to hear about:
-Setting a timeline for leaving (we know- sounds impossible)
-Understanding your/your spouse's financial situation
-Securing sentimental belongings
-Safely exiting the marriage
-Making sure you're doing things "by the law" in your state
-Be SUPER mindful of the kids
Our Divorce Crash Course was help you out here- BIG TIME- please, go check it out. It's $97 and will give you an actionable plan that will help save THOUSANDS and avoid major mistakes. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Friends, you can reach out to Micaela directly on her website if you want her consulting advice.
As always it’s recommended to consult with legal professionals and therapists specific to the listener's jurisdiction to ensure appropriate and personalized advice.
If you need support in finding someone in your area, shoot us over an email at [email protected]
Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Soberlink is here for you if you're concerned about alcohol usage during parenting time. Go to: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck to get $50 off your device.
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This episode is your high conflict divorce survival guide.
We are going to cover the steps you should take to help maintain your sanity and stamina needed to survive high conflict divorce process.
On this episode, we talk with forensic psychotherapist, Micaela Van Dine, https://mvdpsychotherapy.com , who shares her professional insights and personal experiences related to high-conflict divorces in the courtroom.
Do you have our Divorce Crash Course?? If you are navigating a high conflict divorce, this crash course will potentially help you save THOUSANDS of dollars. Find it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
As ALWAYS, this episode offers several action steps and practical advice, like:
-Maintaining silence amid provocation
-Building a support system
-Choosing the right legal and mental health professionals to guide you through the difficult process
One of the most helpful tools available to you is Our Family Wizard. Used in many high conflict cases, Our Family Wizard is our top recommendation for organizing communication between coparents. http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
And don't forget about Soberlink! Soberlink to our go-to tool for those who suspect an alcohol issue during parenting times. Visit: http://www.soberlink.com/not to receive $50 off your device.
Hit play & feel a little less alone!
Please reach out to us should you want more support!
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Listen to this episode BEFORE you go into mediation.
It IS possible to have a positive outcome from mediation, even if you feel like your soon to be ex spouse agree on NOTHING.
And before we get into the nitty gritty: Do you have our Divorce Crash Course?
It literally holds your hand through ALL major divorce decisions!
Get it here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Here are 3 EXPERT tips, (from a mediator herself- Joy Rosenthal-https://www.joyrosenthal.com/), to help you reframe your mind before entering mediation:
1) You don't have to RESPECT your soon to be ex, but you still need to have some DIGNITY for them. In other words, treat them like a human who also has wants and needs (even if their wants and needs are questionable and they're acting like a total tool)
2)Start to think of the problem as something that's outside of you and your soon to be ex. Meaning, the issue is "who gets the kids this Christmas?" or "who gets the lake house?" or "who's going to get the collection of ketchup bottles?" (yes, that was an actual issue for one of Morgan's cases). The issue is not about YOU, and it's not about you soon to be ex, it's simply a "problem" that needs to be "solved".
3)Think about why you want what you say you want. This one is kinda about checking ego, and also just gaining some perspective on the situation.
It's important to keep in mind that everyone loses something in a divorce. You're not gonna come of this thing with EVERYTHING you want, it just doesn't work like that.
In fact, the old divorce joke goes, "if both parties are unhappy and feel they got cheated, then the attorneys did their job" I (Andrea) HATE that joke and it makes me want to scream, but that's the way it goes!
And remember, mediation, divorce- all of this mess-is just going to be ONE event that happened in your life. It's not your life, you have a lot more life to live when this is all behind you.
Our Family Wizard is here to help you though your coparenting journey. Learn more about them here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
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Summer’s almost here folks, and you know what that means...camps, vacations..and your divorce, oh my!
Not to mention: the DREADED parenting agreements. One of Andrea’s least favorite topics but something we HAVE to talk about. We talk about the significance of communication and flexibility in establishing summer parenting schedules, and the legal implications of these changes. We also dive into the complexities of co-parenting during summer, including summer camps, child support, and travel logistics.
In this episode you’ll learn:
*The challenges of balancing work and children's needs during the summer, especially for working and single parents
*Suggestions for getting help with childcare during the summer
*The importance of creativity and flexibility
*Examples of creative modifications to summer parenting schedules and the importance of communication between parents
*Practical approaches to managing summer activities, like summer camps, co-parenting logistics, and managing expectation
*Strategies for initiating conversations with co-parents about travel plans and managing summer camp choices.
And friend that barely scratches this surface in this jam packed mini episode!
Don't forget to check out the DCC, honey, you need this! : https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
And, go sign up for Our Family Wizard's free newsletter! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
And finally, join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity
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Alright, here's one of Andrea's least favorite topics...but probably the most important: the parenting agreement. Below are the show notes for a special re air episode, all about the parenitng agreement.
Remember, our Divorce Crash Course holds your hand through ALL of the important decisions you make during your divorce process. Grab you DCC, right here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course for only $97, you can save up to THOUSANDS and avoid making MAJOR mistakes. The cost of our crash course includes 5 short videos, which are wildly informative and entertaining (if we do say so ourselves) AND includes a printable guidebook, that has mental health break exercises built in!
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We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kids first in your parenting agreement.
Today, we have therapist Dr. Malissa Tigges with us to talk about how to create a parenting agreement that prioritizes the welfare of your kids. Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. She helps people make the best decisions possible when developing their parenting agreements.
Dr. Tigges, Morgan and Andrea answer:
What do divorcing couples need to understand when putting together their parenting agreement?
How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children.
The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement.
What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager?
Can you modify a parenting agreement?
Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child?
Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks?
What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary?
What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement?
What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand.
Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned?
Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos".
Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges:
@drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook
Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out!
Also- Our Family Wizard is here to help make your coparenting journey a whole lot easier. To learn more about them and to get access to an article that we cowrote, visit them at: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
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