Episodes
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In the season finale of the podcast, Dr. Tracy tackles one of her most frequently asked questions: "How do I get my partner to go to therapy?" But first, she has a special announcement to share: she's writing her second book! Dr. Tracy then dives into the importance of starting therapy early in a relationship to build trust, enhance communication, and address issues before they become critical. She discusses the challenges many couples face, especially when one partner is hesitant, often due to stigma or fear of blame. She shares strategies for encouraging a reluctant partner, including empathetic communication, understanding their concerns, and approaching the conversation with care. The episode also explores the benefits of therapy, such as identifying and changing negative cycles, fostering personal growth, and deepening emotional connection. Dr. Tracy encourages listeners to be patient, respect their partner's pace, and consider therapy as a tool to strengthen and sustain their relationship.
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
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In today's episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Eli Harwood, a licensed therapist, author, and creator of the "Attachment Nerd" online community. Eli shares her personal journey of overcoming inherited attachment trauma, emphasizing the importance of breaking intergenerational cycles. Together, Dr. Tracy and Eli explore the pressures of parenting, emphasizing the value of attunement, co-regulation, and being present with children during painful moments rather than trying to eliminate their pain. Eli also introduces her new book, "Raising Securely Attached Kids," which offers insights and practical advice for parents. Key takeaways from this conversation include the importance of repair over perfection in relationships, the necessity of connection in parenting, and understanding that parenting is challenging because it requires confronting our own vulnerabilities. The episode highlights that fostering connection through vulnerability and repair is what truly strengthens relationships.
Be sure to keep up with Eli on Instagram @attachmentnerd and pre-order her new book here!
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
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In today’s episode, Dr. Tracy delves into how early childhood experiences shape our adult relationships with Dr. Kate Truitt, an esteemed clinical psychologist and neuroscientist known for her expertise in trauma and resilience. Dr. Truitt, founder of the Truitt Institute and CEO of the Amy Research Foundation, shares insights from her memoir, Keep Breathing, highlighting the powerful role of the amygdala—"Amy"—in shaping our responses to safety, lovability, and belonging. Their discussion covers the positive and powerful impact that showing personal vulnerability as therapists has had on their client relationships, the importance of connection, and the difference between codependency and trauma bonding. Dr. Kate expresses that while our past influences us, we have the power to choose healthier paths and that self-compassion is a key to healing and growth. Tune in to discover how understanding these dynamics can lead to deeper self-awareness and stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
Be sure to keep up with Dr. Kate on Instagram and visit her website here.
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
It’s safe to say that "mommy brain" is due for a rebrand! In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Nikki Pensak, a clinical psychologist, TEDx speaker and author of "Rattled," to discuss the challenges and opportunities of motherhood, particularly during the postpartum period. Dr. Nikki shares her journey from academia to becoming a mother, emphasizing the mental health needs of mothers often overlooked. They discuss the transformation of the maternal brain during matrescence, the pressures of social media, and the reality of baby bonding and breastfeeding challenges. Dr. Nikki rebrands "mommy brain" as a brilliant adaptation to motherhood's demands and advocates for early postpartum mental health care. They explore three pillars for thriving postpartum: mental health treatment, understanding motherhood, and thriving beyond birth trauma. The episode flips the narrative on motherhood, viewing it as a profound opportunity despite its challenges. Dr. Tracy concludes with actionable tips: self-compassion, incorporating movement, and practicing present-moment connection.
Be sure to keep up with Dr. Nikki on Instagram @drnikkipensak and grab a copy of her book here!
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.
Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
In this mini session, Dr. Tracy talks with Rini and Shaun Frey about overcoming difficult periods in their relationship. Together, they discuss how anger and passive-aggressiveness can lead to disconnection and the importance of initiating early communication before things blow up. Despite eight months of built-up emotions, therapy helped them learn to talk openly and brought them closer. Rini shares her struggle with vulnerability and the expectation that men should take the first step, while Shaun recalls initiating reconciliation after a major fight. They highlight the importance of humour, managing egos, and learning repair strategies, encouraging parents to model these behaviours for their children.
Be sure to keep up with Rini and Shaun on Instagram @ownitbabe and @ownitdad
Listen to the full episode here:
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Greg, AKA, Dr. Tracy's favourite co-host and hubby is back this week to discuss strategies to de-escalate disagreements. In this episode, they emphasize the importance of understanding how escalation occurs and how to effectively de-escalate before diving into the deeper and necessary conversations. They share insights from their own relationship, highlighting how childhood experiences shape behaviour in relationships and the impact of perpetual conflicts. Dr. Tracy and Greg discuss the physical sensations of escalation, common negative communication patterns, and the importance of self-awareness, acknowledgment, and making agreements with your partner to take breaks and return to conflicts with a calmer mindset. They also cover practical techniques for self-regulation and co-regulation and answer a listener's voicemail about navigating loss and its impact on relationships.
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.
Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
In today’s mini-session, Dr. Tracy addresses coping with anxious attachment in relationships. She explains that it’s not your fault and stems from unmet needs in the past. Dr. Tracy emphasizes self-soothing with affirmations like “I am loved, I am enough, I am worthy” and highlights the importance of looking inward for acceptance. Understanding triggers, practicing self-compassion, and clearly communicating your needs and struggles to your partner are key strategies. Self-compassion involves acknowledging suffering, recognizing it as a human experience, and offering yourself grace.
Listen to the full episode here:
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Trigger warning: Traumatic birth experience
In today’s session, Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Mona Amin, a board-certified general pediatrician, online parenting educator, wife and mother. She shares her mission to provide relatable content for parents, aiming to instill confidence and calm in their parenting journey. In this episode, Dr. Mona candidly opens up about her traumatic birth story, the subsequent health challenges her family faced, how it affected her marriage, the importance of self-advocacy and the key role therapy played while navigating her postpartum reality. As a recovering perfectionist she also shares how she's learned to get comfortable in being uncomfortable and trust the healing process. Together, Dr. Mona and Dr. Tracy explore how traumatic experiences can shape relationships, the ongoing, unpredictable journey of parenthood, the need to prioritize therapy and how to maintain hope in the face of uncertainty.
Be sure to keep up with Dr. Mona on Instagram @pedsdoctalk and visit her website www.pedsdoctalk.com
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off.
Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% off of your order.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
In this mini session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Becky discuss the impact of growing up with parents who, despite their best efforts, did not validate certain emotions. This creates an intergenerational legacy where unvalidated feelings become triggers today. They highlight the importance of changing the script for our children's future and our own mental health. By showing kindness, compassion, and curiosity to ourselves, we can model these behaviours for our kids. They challenge the outdated belief that emotions are "soft" and emphasize that feelings are primary, reacting before we think. Ignoring emotions leads to negative outcomes, and addressing them is essential for effective change.
Listen to the full episode here:
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Be sure to keep up with Dr. Becky on Instagram @drbeckyatgoodinside
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Tired of always being the initiator in your relationship? This week, Dr. Tracy addresses the common issue of "my husband doesn’t plan date nights," a struggle many listeners have shared. She discusses the prevalent belief in heterosexual relationships that men should instinctively know and plan for their partner's needs, emphasizing that healthy relationships require intentional effort and open communication. Dr. Tracy highlights the importance of recognizing different seasons in partnerships, acknowledging bids for connection, and separating self-worth from a partner's actions. She offers practical advice on creating a system for planning date nights, balancing the division of labor, and appreciating each partner's contributions. By understanding and communicating needs effectively, couples can improve their connection, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction.
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
ZocDoc - Go to Zocdoc.com/INYS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist today.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
In this week’s mini session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jen Douglas, a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, licensed psychologist, and mental wellness speaker, tackle mom burnout and perfectionism, highlighting the pressures modern mothers face. They discuss how today’s moms spend twice as much time on parenting compared to 1965, coupled with the demands of being constantly available to employers. This has led to unrealistic expectations of being a hands-on, super-present mom. They emphasize the importance of allowing yourself to just "be," as taking a moment to relax doesn’t diminish your worth as a mother. The session calls for reevaluating perfectionist standards and giving yourself grace in the journey of motherhood.
Listen to the full episode here:
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Be sure to keep up with Dr. Jen on Instagram @drjenofficial
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The dynamic duo is back together! This week, Dr. Tracy welcomes back her fellow Canadian sister, Renee Reina, host of the top-ranking podcast The Mom Room, for an open and honest discussion about handling visitors after giving birth. Renee shares her personal experience and how her perspective on postpartum visits shifted after having her son, Milo. They distinguish between true support people and visitors, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing the mother's comfort and needs. The conversation covers cultural expectations, the challenges of navigating in-laws, and the guilt often associated with saying no to visitors. Through engaging listener voicemails, they tackle real-life scenarios, offering practical advice on setting expectations and advocating for one's needs. This episode is a must-listen for all the soon-to-be and new mom's out there!
Be sure to follow Renee on Instagram @thereneereina and listen to The Mom Room and Insufferable wherever you get your podcasts!
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
ZocDoc - Go to Zocdoc.com/INYS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist today.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
Today's mini session is all about scheduling sex and prioritizing intimacy. Don't leave sex until the end of the night when you're exhausted. Dr. Tracy encourages listeners to be intentional about scheduling it and making it a priority. Remember, intimacy isn't just about intercourse; it's also about emotional connection and shared activities. She offers suggestions and encourages new approaches like naptime sex and taking off the pressure by just being close. If sex feels like a chore, talk openly with your partner about what feels good and what doesn't. Build intimacy through vulnerability and connection in all forms!
Listen to the full episode here:
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This week, Dr. Tracy has the great honour of speaking with Dr. Brooke Weinstein, a renowned expert in sensory and emotional regulation, about the critical importance of understanding and managing our nervous systems. Dr. Brooke, known for her engaging and digestible social media content, explains the concept of sensory overload and how our fast-paced digital world contributes to widespread mental health issues. They discuss the differences between tantrums and meltdowns, the necessity of regular self-regulation, and recognizing personal sensory needs. The conversation also covers supporting partners during dysregulation, the need for flexibility in coping strategies, and the importance of accepting each other's unique needs. This episode aims to promote healthier connections and overall well-being by understanding and respecting the diverse sensory requirements within our relationships.
Be sure to keep up with Dr. Brooke on Instagram @brookeweinst and her website www.drbrookeweinstein.com
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In this mini session, Dr. Tracy chats with Anna Aslanian about codependency and understanding how people end up in codependent relationships. They redefine codependency, moving away from the old assumption that it always involves addiction, and instead highlighting it as a response to trauma and a way of seeking safety in relationships. They emphasize that dependency is not inherently negative, as humans are relational beings who need connection. Dr. Tracy and Anna also explore the nuanced definition of trauma, explaining that it isn't always about major life events but can include any hurtful experiences that remain unprocessed. They discuss the importance of recognizing both big and small traumas, approaching them with self-compassion and without judgment, and avoiding comparisons with others' experiences.
Be sure to follow Anna on Instagram
Listen to the full episode here:
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In this highly relatable episode, Dr. Tracy teams up with her favourite co-host, her husband Greg, to dive into the tricky terrain of avoidant attachment styles in relationships. Sharing their personal stories, they unpack how our past experiences shape behaviours today. Dr. Tracy breaks down attachment theory, reminding us that dependency isn't weakness—it's human. They explore why updating relationship "scripts" is crucial and how regular check-ins can prevent resentment. Greg opens up about his journey to overcome avoidant tendencies, emphasizing the power of asking for what you need. With practical advice on handling avoidant partners and fostering deeper connections, this episode is a heartfelt guide to building a stronger, more understanding relationship.
Links:
Sign up for Dr. Tracy's attachment style course here!
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
ZocDoc - Go to Zocdoc.com/INYS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist today.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
In this mini session, Dr. Tracy chats with Eve Rodsky about turning "invisible work" into "visible work." Invisible work includes the behind-the-scenes tasks mothers and women often handle without recognition. Eve shares how she created the "Shit I Do" spreadsheet, listing all these tasks and gathering input from women in various communities. This effort made the extensive contributions of mothers more visible. Eve discusses the importance of women taking agency in their lives and introduces the core findings of her book "Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do.”.
Listen to the full episode here:
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Follow Eve on Instagram and grab a copy of her book here
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Have you ever wondered why you constantly end up in the same type of relationship? Or maybe you're contemplating whether or not you can continue on with your current partner. These are all common questions we've all asked ourselves at some point in our lives and will be addressing in today's conversation.
In this episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Amy Chan, founder of Breakup Bootcamp and author of "The Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," to discuss why we stay in bad relationships and how to break harmful patterns. Amy shares insights from her own experiences and her work in helping people heal from heartbreak by understanding the deep-rooted reasons behind their relationship choices. They explore concepts like the attraction of deprivation and the sunk cost fallacy, highlighting why people stay in unfulfilling relationships and how to recognize these patterns. Amy also introduces the "shit bucket" theory, emphasizing that all relationships have challenges, and it's crucial to have realistic expectations and effective communication. This conversation offers valuable advice on nurturing oneself, maintaining a sense of self, and fostering mutual motivation and creativity in relationships, ultimately guiding us toward healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Be sure to follow Amy on Instagram, buy her book here, and visit her website here!
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
ZocDoc - Go to Zocdoc.com/INYS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist today.
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices -
In this mini session, Dr. Tracy and her husband Greg debunk the myth of "Happy Wife, Happy Life." They argue that true happiness in a relationship should not come at the expense of one's own well-being. They emphasize the importance of having difficult conversations and maintaining a genuine friendship within the relationship. They also touch on the necessity of self-awareness and curiosity in resolving conflicts and highlight that we can only control our responses, not our partner's actions. Ultimately, they stress the importance of authenticity and mutual respect in building a healthy, balanced relationship.
Listen to the full episode here:
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In a world where we're encouraged to prioritize individualism, and set boundaries, the importance of our relationships can often get lost. In this week's episode, Dr. Tracy chats with Dr. Stan Tatkin, a renowned clinician, researcher, and author of the bestselling book "Wired for Love." They explore the concept of interdependence in relationships, using the three-legged race analogy to highlight the importance of teamwork. Dr. Tatkin emphasizes understanding our own and our partner's brains to foster secure and functioning relationships, addressing the impact of negativity bias and the pitfalls of social media diagnoses. They touch on secure attachment, the couple bubble, and aligning on priorities for lasting connections. Dr. Tatkin shares insights on conflict resolution, mutual relief during disagreements, and maintaining a strong partnership through mutual sensitivity and understanding. This conversation offers practical advice and profound insights to help listeners build resilient and loving relationships, highlighting why it's actually ok to put your relationship at the top of the priority list.
Be sure to follow Dr. Stan on Instagram and grab a copy of “Wired for Love” here.
Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here!
A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible!
ZocDoc - Go to Zocdoc.com/INYS and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist today.
Loop - Visit loopearplugs.com and use my code LOOPXDRTRACY for 10% your order.
Cozy Earth - Use code SHRINK for 35% off at cozyearth.com
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop
Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices - Show more
