Episodes
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Hello all, we've managed to extract ourselves from the 5-and-a-half feet of snow that dropped on us over the winter, and now that Miranda can open her back door and Evelyn can walk instead of wade through snowdrifts...it's time:
At last, the first musical episode of Riverdale is upon us, and the question of the hour is, simply: Why?
Why is Carrie a musical at all? Why was Riverdale a musical at all? Why was Carrie: The Musical chosen to be said musical - other than Roberto's weird Stephen King kink (Stephen Kink, if you will)? Why choose it if you don't show the two really important scenes? Why is a student directing the school musical? Why is there a drama department, auditorium, costumes, lights, and sets but no drama teacher?
Why is everyone encouraging Jughead to be even more insufferable? Why is Alice in her daughter's school musical? Why is Chuck back? Why is Sheriff Dad wandering around the dressing rooms unattended? Why is Archie such a bonehead? Why is Hal back? Why is Casey Cott (Kevin) not singing when he's the only cast member trained in musical theatre? Why is Cheryl the perfect Carrie? Why does the Black Hood - surprise, he's back - care about ANY of this?
And WHY is there a GIANT CHICKEN COSTUME!?!?!
We have no answers. Only despair.
Thank you, listeners, for your patience, as Evelyn finally gets her wish: She's made Miranda watch her first full episode of Riverdale
***Note: Due to a different recording location and set-up, there are two background noises that we've done our best to minimize, but are present for the first portion of the podcast nonetheless. One is the ambient background menu music, and the other is Evelyn's adorable cat trying to eat dinner. Our apologies.***
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
Alcoholism (brief mention)Emotional abuse/manipulationFatphobiaMurderPedophilia (brief mention)Religious traumaMusic: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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The Endless Torment of Cheryl Blossom, or as it's more widely known: Riverdale continues to astound our intrepid hosts by finding new avenues of trauma to explore. This week, it's conversion therapy. If that is understandably not something you want to engage with, listener discretion is advised.
Expanding on last week's thesis that Nana Rose Cannot And Will Not be stopped; this episode she enacts a geriatric Mission Impossible-esque stunt to help the only 3 people in town who care about her grandaughter rescue said grandaughter.
Meanwhile, in a land of lower stakes, the campaign for student body president is still going on, as well as the parallel campaign for mayorship of the town, and it's difficult to determine which to care about less. At least one involves Fred.
Jughead spouts off more insufferable garbage, Betty wants a tattoo, Veronica might be Catwoman, Kevin goes :O, Molly Ringwald continues to rule, and God help us all: Archie has a plan.
According to Evelyn, she is straight-up "here to make your life worse" and later gets in a devastating roast in on Miranda; who, at one point, has to stand up and pace from sheer seething anger, but not before getting briefly possessed by Reggie. Hanging over it all, the looming threat of the first musical episode darkens the horizon, promising that if it's chaos we want, we ain't seen nothin' yet...
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
Blackmail/extortionConversion TherapyEmotional abuse/manipulationGaslightingHomophobiaReligious trauma (Catholic)TransphobiaMusic: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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Missing episodes?
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This week, it's all about elections in Riverdale! Couldn't tell you why, but there sure are at least 2 happening. Rivetting.
Hermione vies for Mayorhood as Veronica acts out by running for student body president - if only to fuel her obsession with smooching, Reggie comes up with an excellent campaign slogan, Hal is NOT the father, Betty gets threatening again, and don't even WORRY about it: We have yet another egregious Glee! comparison.
Our two hosts have this and more to contend with as Miranda calculates how long she has to skip town, Evelyn introduces us to the new character who occasionally possesses her body: (The) Duke Scotchtape, and both are ecstatic with a long-overdue reaming out of Archie.Oh, and can anyone tell them who Bravo's Andy Cohen is, or why they should care?
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
AbortionConversion Therapy (brief mention)Emotional Abuse/ManipulationGaslightingHomophobiaSexual Harassment (brief mention)Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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Have your hand near the volume controls because there's schlock in this episode that prompts multiple screams of primal rage.
This week: Old family drama continues apace over at the Cooper's, new family drama starts at the Blossom's, and general "family" drama unfolds at the Lodge's. Basically, everyone's making plans and all of them are stupid.
Betty recruits Kevin with dubious intent (what else), Jughead meets an informant, Chic might have scurvy, Hiram unveils his grand insipid design, and it turns out we haven't seen the last of Clifford...sort of.
Evelyn continues to weather both the mounting insanity of Riverdale and the mounting insanity of Miranda with glee, giving valuable insight into the nature of upsetting pop-up ads; Miranda - when not screaming - discusses her tiny racoon hands, and they both learn a little something about gay chat-room slang.
Also, Roberto? We get it, okay? You like Stephen King. We get it. We really get it.
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
AbortionDrugs/drug usageClassismEmotional abuse/manipulationHomophobiaIncestMurderStigmatism of sex workSuicide (brief mention)Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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It's a weird one, this week. Not crazy. But weird. An important distinction. There are actually some - dare we say - interesting developments. It's just that none of them happen to the main four characters. Honestly, we'll take it.
The gang heads up to Veronica's family lakehouse for a fun little weekend vacation that Is Definitely Not Motivated By Hiram's Ulterior Motives. At All. The vibes switch between the two extremes of profoundly uncomfortable, and agonizingly horny. Archie remains oblivious, Betty packed her wig, Jughead doesn't know how phones work, and (Robo)Veronica wants to kiss everyone.
Meanwhile, back in Riverdale: Kevin makes an honest-to-goodness friend!!! With Josie! They both act far more maturely than their respective parents. Cheryl makes a friend too...or maybe...even more than a friend? We hope so. And, Chic eats cereal to assert dominance.
Miranda is left reeling less by plot than by the reveal of Sheriff Dad's first name, Evelyn thought this episode "happened later" assuring everyone there's a moment in it of truly baffling cringe, and both have to contend with the existence of Riverdale Monopoly.
Programming Note: Due to the annual horrendous weather descending upon the city, as well as the upcoming holidays, we'll be releasing an episode every two weeks while we batten down the hatches for winter.
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
ClassismEating disorder (Anorexia, brief mention)Emotional Abuse/manipulationGun violenceHome InvasionHomophobiaMurderPTSDSexual Assault (brief mention)Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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Well, folks, the Cooper fam is really in it now. You could argue they were before because you're right, they were; but now the stakes are Even Higher with the extemporaneous murder of 'The Shady Guy' who came to see Chic.
Betty is, funnily enough, not doing so well with having to dispose of a body and on top of that, has to deal with learning that her dad and Penelope are...in Love?!?!? Ew???
Archie tries to ghost the FBI, Jughead chooses another stupid hill to die on, Veronica seems to think she deserves a Nobel Peace Prize, and Cheryl is up to her old tricks...by which we mean hitherto-unseen tricks of sitting alone in the dark, and archery.
In other news: Evelyn really loves carrots and she's going to show you how much. She also shares some of the notes taken by her cat via walking across the keyboard. Miranda, meanwhile, might need to get her eyes checked because it takes approximately 7 years for her to parse a screencap. Does it make sense to YOU? Yell us over on our Twitter::https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
Audible chewing Drugs/drug usageEmetophobiaEmotional abuse/manipulationIncestGun violenceMurderStigmatization of sex workMusic: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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Get out your genre-fiction bingo card, and cross another square off your list because this week, Riverdale really starts showing interest in becoming a mobster movie. And, like any good mobster movie (read: Godfather knock-off), everything needs to be injected with a healthy dose of Catholicism.
There's even more in-fighting amongst the Serpents, who are now threatened with eviction, and even worse: FP learns his son can, will, and has skinned someone. Archie has trouble remembering dinner orders, Josie might be a robot too, Betty thinks being a camgirl in the same place her nosy mother lives is a good idea, and Jughead goes where he belongs: the garbage dump.
Hiram has business associates with bad intentions but fantastic names, and when he's not playing poker with them, the Lodges are preparing for Veronica's Confirmation. Does that usually happen before you're a sophomore? Yes, but you see, they wanted a special Riverdale bishop to do it...so they...had to...wait? Whatever.
Miranda's having trouble talking so she invents a tongue twister, and later on wants to make it very clear just how much she loves Simon and Garfunkel. Evelyn gleefully welcomes a character back, and reveals that she was literally accused of being a witch in school. Neither can decide what's more surreal: The show being renewed for a SIXTH SEASON, or Archie actually figuring something out by himself.
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
CatholicismEmotional abuse/manipulationFlayingGamblingGun violenceIncestMurderStigmatization of sex workMusic: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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Hello fellow chaos lovers! This is a heads up that this episode contains discussions of Indigenous oppression and genocide. We know with the news of the bodies of thousands of children (with the numbers still growing) uncovered at residential schools in Canada, some people may be particularly sensitive to this topic, so we wanted to let listeners know going in. Otherwise, we hope you enjoy the general buffoonery that is this show!
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Yet another town-wide celebration is being held despite tensions being higher than ever between the North and South sides of "fair Riverdale". This - the writers have decided in their infinite wisdom - is the perfect opportunity to discuss colonialism and the slaughter of Indigenous people. The lack of awareness on just how high above their weight class they're punching continues to astound.
Speaking of weight class: Football is OUT, and a new sport is IN because a certain Excellent Crime Boss has wrestlemania. Betty continues to Not Think Things Through, Jughead learns that leveraging someone else's intergenerational trauma for his own means is bad, actually; and we reach a whole new level of homoerotic, psycho-sexual interactions.
Miranda goes off on the nature of plot twists, and is woefully ignorant about mid-20th century pornography; Evelyn reveals why Jughead really gets her goat, and admires the art of cuckoldry; and both our hosts just generally try to stop themselves from cringing into another dimension by expanding the Robo-Veronica universe, and maybe - just maybe - uncovering the identity of Jockbud92.
Content Warnings:
ColonialismEmotional abuse/ManipulationDiscussions of violence against Indigenous peopleInvasions of privacyRacismStigmatization of sex workMusic: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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Now that we've "killed" "the Black Hood" - no one's buying it - Riverdale has returned to commenting on how inequality is bad and we, like, really do live in a society. Groundbreaking.
Some insults are tossed out that are wild even for this show, we meet a new cast member who is - you guessed it - a dark and edgy shadow of their comic book counterpart, Polly has chosen the dumbest baby names ever, and Penelope finds her calling.
Evelyn takes immense pleasure in watching Miranda frantically try to make deductions, and is just delighted with Sweet Pea's change in wardrobe. Miranda goes off on Jughead and his authorial inspiration for the week, and can't escape Evelyn ominously whispering "it begins". On the bright side, they finally remembered to plug their Twitter on air!
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
ClassismClaustrophobiaDrowning (brief mention)Drugs/drug usage Emotional abuse/manipulationMurderRacismReferenced sexual assaultStigmatisation of sex workXenophobiaMusic: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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WE'RE BACK, BAYBEEEEEEEE
Not a bonus episode, a true return to form as we examine Riverdale's first *checks notes* Christmas episode...? Okay, sure. Don't worry, they're not toning down any grim content just because the halls are decked; in fact, you could argue this is one of the more gruesome episodes thus far! Incredible!
This week, our main four teens struggle with the aftermaths of their respective break-ups and everyone watching struggles to give a damn. But the GOOD news is: Cheryl is in fine fettle, keeping the Christmas spirit alive, and delivering the sickest of burns to her mother - pun not intended.
Speaking of burns, turns out not even the torching of Thornhill couldn't kill Nana Rose, who has suddenly returned. Sheriff Dad turns out to be a crack shot, Moose has been released from the purgatory of the hospital, more infuriating off-brand names are invented, and the Andrews family faces their most horrifying ordeal yet: The American Healthcare System (or lack thereof).
Miranda somehow guesses a bonkers plot-point again, Evelyn corrects Jughead on Asimov's laws of robotics, and neither of them can get enough of Reggie's hilarious douchery.
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:
https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
CannibalismClaustrophobiaCorporal punishment Dementia/SenilityFlayingGun violenceInfanticide (brief mention)Medical debtMurderSevered body partsMusic: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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In part 2 of Miranda and Evelyn's examination of Riverdale's aired pilot (2017) vs. an earlier draft of that pilot (2015), considering what might have been gets even more bizarre.(For those of you who want to follow along at home - seriously though, why? - here's a link to the .pdf:http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Riverdale_1x01_-_The_Rivers_Edge.pdf )
How did they think they could get away with inserting such a shameless rip-off of a beloved movie? Why are all the moms on drugs? How is Reggie the best thing about this? What are Smithers and Hermione getting up to in the alley?And hey, Roberto? You have GOT to get over Carrie.
Evelyn says one of the most cursed things ever uttered, but balances it out by finding a way to give Kevin some depth; and Miranda is forced to come to terms with the fact that in the 2015 version, Jughead is more tolerable. Actually, she likes 2015 Jughead. What is the world coming to?
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
AddictionAlcoholBullyDrugs/drug usageDrowningEmotional Abuse/manipulationFatphobiaGraphic description of a corpse Guns (brief mention)HomophobiaMental illness stigmaPedophiliaUnsettling references to genitaliaMusic: 'Imps' by Mark Revell
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Before the latest hiatus, Miranda and Evelyn managed to record a bonus with a bit of a twist - i.e. endure a different kind of torture. Going all the way back to the first episode, they deep dive into the differences between the aired pilot (2017), and an older draft (2015).For those of you who want to follow along at home - why would you though? You doing okay? - here's a link to the .pdf:http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Riverdale_1x01_-_The_Rivers_Edge.pdf
Let's return to a simpler time without black hoods, and motorcycle gangs, or Jingle Jangle. An alternate time where every scene is a bit longer, and everyone's a bit meaner.
Where did Sheriff Dad go? How could the dynamic in the Cooper house get any more strained? That can't possibly be how you use the word "glance". And does Jughead just...live at the Chocklit Shoppe?
Meanwhile, Miranda struggles with Roberto's insufferable meta-comments, and Evelyn? Well, she's feeling pretty freakin' epic. If anyone can get them in touch with the elusive jockbud92, do let them know.
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
AddictionAlcoholBullyDrugs/drug usageDrowningEmotional Abuse/manipulationFatphobiaGraphic description of a corpse Guns (brief mention)HomophobiaMental illness stigmaPedophiliaMusic: 'Imps' by Mark RevellSound effects via Fesliyan Studios
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In the final riverdiary for this batch, FP weighs in on the madness that has the town in its clutches.
Freshly released from his most recent stay behind bars, poor old FP is not exactly coming back to an ideal home life. Not that he was doing that before he got arrested, but things have - in true Riverdale fashion - gotten worse.
Why is he so miffed with his son? How does he feel about Alice's hypocrisy? Would he honestly rather be back in jail? Can't say we'd blame him if he would...
Written and recorded by: Evelyn(Who makes a compelling argument for fictional imprisonment over living in Riverdale)
Content Warnings:
Gangs/gang violenceJail/imprisonmentMusic:'Imps' by Mark Revell'Blood Money' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios
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Football's cancelled, and it's getting dangerous out there for those in the Jingle-Jangle business; what's our poor Reggie to do? Apart from making dick jokes, there doesn't seem to be much...then again, that's about all he was doing before so it's not that bad of a downgrade.
What does he think about Weatherbee's football betrayal? Why is he listening to Archie in any way even at all? Has he had a change of heart about nerds? Probably not, but we should check his dairy, just to be sure.
Written and Recorded by: Miranda(Who had a Hell of a time coming up with a football-related innuendo that didn't involve the words "touchdown")
Content Warnings:
Guns (brief mention)NarcissismToxic masculinity (homophobia & misogyny implied therein)Music:'Imps' by Mark Revell'Super Spiffy' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios
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Wishy-washy Waldo is back, and ready to vent. It's hard being a principal at the best of times...and now is not exactly those times. He's losing teachers and students both at an alarming rate, and even worse: his star football boy is out of commission!
Just how low is his patience for Archie? What's he got against Sheriff Dad? And who actually attends school anyway? Good thing he's put his thoughts on paper so we can see.
Written and recorded by: Evelyn(Who has not forgotten about dear FP, don't worry. He'll be #20)
Content Warnings:
Gangs (brief mention)Guns/gun violenceMurderMusic:'Imps' by Mark Revell'Done With Work' by David Renda - via Fesliyan Studios
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Cheryl's been suspiciously quiet for the past little while - except when she's exploited by more unnecessary trauma. That doesn't mean she's not listening, though. Far from it. In fact, it's amazing what you overhear when people don't notice you're there...
What's her take on the growing townie tensions? Does she have any thoughts on The Sugar Man? And are there any updates on the DILF situation?
The writers might be intent on wasting the gift that is Cheryl, but if there's one place she's going to have a starring role, it's her diary.
Written and recorded by: Miranda(Who has been regularly listening to the music for this since she found it because it makes her feel powerful)
Content Warnings:
ClassismDrugs/drug usageEmotional abuse/manipulation (implied)Music:'Imps' by Mark Revell'Mastermind' by Steve Oxen - via Fesliyan Studios
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Happy Father's Day! In celebration (and definitely not a total coincidence) we're hearing from your friendly neighbourhood cuck again - Hal!
Polly's slipped away again, Betty's sticking her nose in all sort of places, and it looks like Alice hasn't shed the last of her serpent skin - what's a father to do? How does one manipulate one's way out of such a situation? If anyone can tell us, it's certainly Hal.
Written & Recorded by: Evelyn(Who never misses an opportunity to roast Archie)
Content Warnings:
Emotional abuse/manipulationGang violenceMusic:'Imps' by Mark Revell'No More Good' by David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios
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Tensions are mounting between...well, pretty much everyone and Alice knows exactly who to blame. And she definitely doesn't have any sort of attraction to him whatsoever. No, sir. Not Alice.
How does she feel about the mayor's inaction? What does she think of Jughead's induction into the gang she belonged to once upon a time? Just how far in denial is she about wanting FP to absolutely rail her? Only her diary knows.
Written and recorded by: Miranda(Who straight up had to text her brother to find out if he knew a "cool/slang term for a motorcycle")
Content Warnings:
Alcoholism (brief mention)Drugs/drugs usage (brief mention)Emotional abuse/manipulationGang violence (brief mention)Invasion of privacy/surveillanceMusic:'Imps' - by Mark Revell'Scouting Mission' - by David Fesliyan via Fesliyan Studios
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How nice of the Best Detective Ever (apparently) to give us more of her insights! She hasn't made a ton of progress but her spirits are okay for the most part so that's something.
How does she manage school, journalism, detecting, code-cracking, and deciding what's best for the people around her all at the same time? Sheer will-power? A positive attitude? Or maybe a darker corner of her psyche takes over for a while to give her a break.
Written and recorded by: Evelyn(Who is also a big Nancy Drew fan - jury's out on whether or not she can pick locks though. She'll never tell.)
Content Warnings:
Blackmail/extortion (implied)Gun violenceMurderMusic:'Imps': By Mark Revell'Quiet Time': By David Fesliyan - via Fesliyan Studios
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Poor Veronica: set upon on all sides by her idiot boyfriend, an inconsistent BFF, a douche from her past; and not one, but two criminal parents. She's treading on dangerous ground but, fortunately, she's adaptable. What The Terminator might even call "a learning computer".
How does she feel changed? And what remains the same? What would her meanie friends bak in NY think of her? Why are her fantasies so macabre? Let's have a listen...
Written and recorded by: Miranda(Who regrets the opening line, but not enough to delete it)
Screencaps & other fun stuff can be found on our Twitter:https://twitter.com/moodforchaospod
Content Warnings:
Car crash (brief mention)ClassismEmotional abuse/manipulation (implied)Murder (brief mention)Music: 'Imps' by Mark Revell'Fancy Date' by Steve Oxen via Fesliyan Studios
Sounds effects via Fesliyan Studios
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