Episodes
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In today’s episode, I respond to a parent in the Facebook community who is seeking support for an “unmotivated” 14-year-old, wanting a coach for help with goals, motivation, executive functioning, and self-care, ideally within budget and virtual. I explore the difference between being “unmotivated” and “uninspired,” suggesting that teens may seem unmotivated due to broader issues like discouragement or lack of inspiration. Instead of trying to “fix” teens, I encourage listeners to reframe the situation by asking, “What is getting in my child’s way?” I emphasize curiosity, encouragement, and a connection-based approach, allowing teens to express their needs and experiences without judgment. I also remind parents to avoid labeling, stay present, and focus on personal growth, trusting that their child will ultimately find their way.
Find more show notes and info about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-525-support-for-parents-with-unmotivated-teens/
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I am really excited about my guest today, and I have a feeling you will be, too! My amazing daughter, Rowan, is back to give us an update on her life. She talk about everything from teen mental health, navigating ADHD as a teen and young adult, the college journey, and more!
I ask Rowan what she’s learned in her first few years of adulthood while juggling working, living on her own, and going to school. We talk about motivation versus discipline, lessons learned through experience, changing perspectives, and boundaries. Rowan wraps us up by sharing what she wishes Gen X knows about the young adults of today.
Takeaways from the show
Describing and revisiting tough times & emotions
Returning to (and loving) college
Changing your mindset to achieve your goal
Learning how to be a college student
Navigating ADHD diagnosis & medications
The pressure of early adulthood
Takeaways from the first few years of being on your own
Motivation versus discipline
Lessons are learned through experience
How we respond to our kids when they are having a hard time influences the relationships we have with them later
Perspectives changing as you age and get out of the thick of it
Finding the humor, joy, and not taking life too seriously
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Missing episodes?
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Inspired by my conversation with Annie Donaldson this week, I explore the layered experience of being a teen and offer some ideas around how to invite them to consider their higher selves. Our teens are deep and thoughtful. Listen in for tips and strategies around communication and connection.
See all show notes and information about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-523-exploring-the-layers-of-our-teens-experience-and-inviting-them-into-their-higher-selves
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This episode is an interview with Annie Donaldson, coach for teens. We spend our time talking about how spirituality and considering a higher power and bigger picture can be helpful to our teens as they move through adolescence and navigate the beginning of realizing that change in life is the only constant. This conversation isn't about religion, but it is about deeply considering, sharing and normalizing conversations about our spiritual selves. Check it out and let me know what you think!
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Getting into the nitty-gritty of how to navigate the lies we may be hearing from our kids. Why is it so triggering? Why do they do it? What is the most useful way to respond? And how can we keep in mind that mistakes (like lying) are opportunities to learn and grow? Listen in and we can dive into all of these questions together!
Find more show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-521-Teenagers-and-lying/
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My guest today is Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart.
Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart & Casey dig into ADHD in the adolescent years. Parents of teens with ADHD may see dysregulation looking like compulsiveness, messiness, impulsivity, & a lack of motivation. Parents may think that their kids are lazy or lacking willpower, when in reality, their executive functioning skills are truly off balance. Dr. Lockhart & Casey talk about discussing long-term goals with teens, moving backwards from there, baby steps, as well as figuring out what feels hard so we can best support them. They discuss how to support adolescents with ADHD and how that may differ from what neurotypical teen brains need. Dr. Lockhart explains what rejection sensitive dysphoria is & how to talk to teens about their ADHD. Casey asks how to get buy-in from a teen to work with an ADHD coach or other outside support or services. They finish by talking about what teens with ADHD need most.
Takeaways from the show
Keeping your focus on teaching life skills, not compliance
What does ADHD look like in an adolescent?
Misconceptions about teens with ADHD
Asking “what’s hard about it?”
Scaffolding & strategies like body doubling and creating a false sense of urgency
Do teens with ADHD need different things to support brain development than a neurotypical adolescent?
Rejection sensitive dysphoria
Talking to teens about their ADHD
Getting your teen to utilize an ADHD coach or other outside support
What do teens with ADHD need most?
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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I see and field a lot of questions from parents about disrespect and kids who seem to have no desire to connect or be with the family. We talk so much about relationship here, but what happens when there seems to be no desire for a relationship on the side of the kids? This is where we head this week on the show…
Big shout out to a member of the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group member who gave permission to me to tease apart a post she shared there here on the podcast!
For full show notes and info about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-520-disrespect-and-relationship-with-our-teenagers/
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Brenda Zane is back this week!
She was on the podcast before (spring 2023) talking about how to be with teen substance abuse.
We had SUCH an amazing response to that conversation that Brenda and I thought it would be helpful to have her back to talk about “what do you do” for specific scenarios around our teens and substances that leave us feeling in the dark. Today we discuss how to set healthy boundaries around teen substance abuse while still maintaining a connected relationship with our teens.
Takeaways from the show
Creating conditions for positive change in children, and the plant analogy.
Why young people turn to substance use, including a desire to cope with emotional pain and shame.
Setting boundaries around drug use
The challenge of enforcing consequences
The importance of addition over subtraction in facilitating change
Have open and curious conversations with their teenagers about substance use, rather than resorting to shame or judgment
The importance of building a positive relationship with children, focusing on mutual respect and influence rather than control or manipulation
The "information sandwich" technique to discuss sensitive topics with teenagers
How humor and modeling positive behavior are useful tools
Focusing on boundaries and natural consequences, rather than reactive measures like drug testing and phone confiscation
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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This week's solo show teases apart the difference between being in resistance and being in flow when it comes to the ride we are on while parenting teenagers. The middle school and high school years are a current that is ever changing, and we have choices in how we lean into the ebb and flow. This week I share a post from a parent in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens FB Group that resonated deeply with me, and bring my own learning from a meditation practice I was invited into.
For more show notes and news about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-519-finding-flow-in-the-current-of-parenting-teens/
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My guest today is Dr. Emily Kline.
Dr. Kline shares all kinds of useful information this week around why and how we can communicate with our adolescents with the best results. This episode is all about motivational interviewing. We touch on relinquishing control and asking curiosity questions, then we dig in deep into what motivational interviewing is and why it’s so helpful. I ask Dr. Kline what motivational interviewing might look like when a teenager is using marijuana, and we agree that the best tool we have to influence our adolescents is relationship. Dr. Kline shares tips on how to start tricky conversations and what you can learn in the first 10 seconds. She tells me what limits, consequences, boundaries, etc. look like to her, what we do when teens disregard those limits, and listening for motivation to change.
Takeaways from the show
Relinquishing control
Motivational interviewing
Teens trying marijuana
The best tool for influence is relationship
Staying respectful & curious
How to deliver advice & why we listen first
Staying neutral & consistent around hard conversations
Expectations & limits without punishments
Avoiding socially isolating consequences
Listening for motivation for change
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Inspired by Monday's interview with college admission coach, Janae Young, this week's solo show is all about how to let go of control and allow our teens to move through their own process. This is HARD! I get into WHY it's so hard and WHY it's so important to let this process be theirs. Not all kids are headed straight for college, and the ones who want to may not be showing up to the work in a way that aligns with what they say they want... It can be crazy-making!! Listen in and let me know what you think.
For more show notes and information about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-518-living-in-the-tension-of-our-teens-efforts-during-college-application-season/
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My guest this week is Janae Young, and I’m so excited that she’s here to share her wisdom as a college admissions coach with us.
Janae shares why she’s so passionate about college admissions, and we talk about what the admissions process looks like now, including what the common application system is. Janae shares what’s challenging about college application essays for adolescents, tips to help, and her two archetype essay writers. I ask Janae what best practices are for parents who are helping their kids through the college application process, and she shares where we can support and when we need to back off. We hit on missed deadlines & natural consequences and how to best list awards & activities. I ask Janae what kids can be doing in 9th, 10th, and 11th grade to help prepare for college applications, and we briefly touch on ACTs and SATs.
Takeaways from the show
What’s the college application process look like now?
Common application system
College application essays
“Perfectionist Polly” and “Rushed Ryan”
How can parents best support their teen during this process?
Week-by-Week college application calendar
College applications are their job, not yours
Missed deadlines & learning through mistakes
What teens can do in 9th, 10th, and 11th grades to help the college admissions process
Best time to take SATs
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Today I am digging into a challenge that is plaguing way too many parents of teens - vaping nicotine. It is something I worked through with my kids, and something that shows up for so many of the parents I work with. One parent came forward asking for resources in the Joyful Courage for Parents of Teens group - their daughter had recently come clean about their use and needed help. Listen in and let me know what you think!
Find all the show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-517-when-our-teens-are-vaping-nicotine/
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My returning guest today is Dr. Melanie McNally the author of “Helping Your Unmotivated Teen: A Parent’s Guide to Unlock Your Child’s Potential”.
Dr. McNally explains what inspired her to write her new book and a bit about what parents misunderstand about teens, motivation, and laziness. I ask Dr. McNally to tell us more about the difference between external and internal motivation and how we know when we can use external motivators while growing their internal drive. We tease apart the difference between autonomy and independence, and she helps clarify some differences between teens who are feeling unmotivated, depressed, or dealing with screen addiction.
This is such a juicy one - we also get into why and how our teens can grow grit, becoming versus being, and for tips on how to start conversations around motivation. We end on tips for finding your own motivation & purpose.
Takeaways from the show
Check out Dr. McNally’s new book - “Helping Your Unmotivated Teen: A Parent’s Guide to Unlock Your Child’s Potential”
Are teenagers really just lazy?
Internal versus external motivation
High achieving parents with “average” kids
Autonomy versus independence
Collaborating with our adolescent on expectations
Low motivation versus depression versus screen addiction
Handing energetic responsibility over to our teens & growing grit
Becoming rather than being
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Join me this week revisiting this solo episode as we play with the concept of flexibility while parenting through the teen years. Where are you finding flexibility? How might flexibility serve your relationship with your teen? What is getting in the way of flexibility?
Find full show notes and news about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-452-dance-flexibility-while-parenting-adolescents/
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I am SO excited about today’s interview. You’ll recognize my guest today - Julietta Skoog my co-founder and the Early Years Lead here at Sproutable! She’s here today to talk about back-to-school season with middle schoolers.
Julietta and I cover so much this week - balancing caring for our kids & our aging parents, the jarring differences between elementary & middle school, and watching their decision-making and mistakes. We talk about why kids come home so upset & frustrated from school and how to create routines & systems that work for your family.
We really dig into the difference between scaffolding and witnessing, how to support middle schoolers with their homework, the friend drama (especially when it’s new friends/families that you don’t know), and how screens & texting affect those friendships.
Takeways from the show
“Sandwich season” - taking care of your young children & aging parents at the same time
What do summers look like when your kids aren’t little anymore?
Navigating phones & screens with middle schoolers
Fears & concerns around safety - “what if?” energy
The after-school release & attitude
“September is a month of grace” - it won’t always be back-to-school season!
Creating systems & routines that work for your family
Friend drama in Middle School (high highs & low lows)
Self-reflection as a growing skill
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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Screens!! I know - will we ever get to a place of NOT needing to talk about screens?? Today's episode is a messy exploration of the subtle ways kids are pulled into their relationship with screens, and the importance of developing life skills WHILE providing guardrails for keeping our kids safe. Plus, an invitation to take an honest look at how OUR use is adding to the messaging our kids are getting... Did I mention this is messy? It is. Listen in and let me know what you think.
See all show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-514-a-messy-conversation-about-screens-limits-and-life-skill-development/
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My guest today is Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein and we’re talking about sexism and our daughters.
Dr. Finkelstein kicks us off by sharing how a pink hockey stick impacted her childhood and inspired her to speak about sexism & gender bias. I ask what intergenerational transmission of sexism is, and Dr. Finkelstein helps me deconstruct an incident I had with Ronan about how she was dressing in 8th grade.
We ponder on how we can raise strong women in a patriarchal society that can be violent towards women without victimizing our girls or instilling fear and how to navigate bodily autonomy in a world where their bodies sometimes are not safe and don’t feel like their own. It’s you and your daughter against the unfairness of the patriarchy & the culture, not each other!
I ask Dr. Finkelstein what messaging young girls are receiving from media & pop culture right now, how we can teach & encourage young women to stand up for themselves & feel empowered without putting themselves in danger, and how we can have meaningful conversations with them men & boys in our life about sexism & patriarchy.
Takeaways from the show
The intergenerational transmission of sexism
The “battle” between moms & daughters about clothing
How do we raise strong women in a patriarchal society that can be violent towards women without victimizing our girls?
People get harassed (and worse) regardless of what they wear
Fostering a healthy sense of entitlement in young women
What messages are girls and young women receiving from pop culture and media right now?
Raising boys who are sensitive to sexism and male privilege
For more show notes, including transcripts, please visit our website here.
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I am back with a brand new solo show! I loved my convo with Dr. Tina Bryson (Eps 511) and was inspired to go deeper into trusting our teen’s development. This show goes into what is happening in the teen brain and how to work WITH our kids to promote relationship and autonomy over time. Enjoy!
Find full show notes and information about our sponsors at: www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-512-trusting-our-teens-development
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Dr. Tina Bryson is BACK today! I love her work, and I’m so excited she’s here to talk about launching our teens, which is incredibly timely after I dropped my youngest child off at college yesterday!
Dr. Bryson shares her wisdom on avoiding fear-based parenting & reminds us that development & maturation happens no matter what - maybe we don’t need to worry quite so much. She explains what the “right” amount of support is and why kids need to make mistakes & take risks to become wiser and more responsible. Dr. Bryson shares her own personal stories about launching two of her teens to college and how & why they were so different.
Dr. Bryson wraps us up by giving dos & don'ts for when your adolescent is in distress. We want to problem solve, criticize, or minimize, but instead, we can respond in a way that invites them to keep sharing things with us: by offering empathy & letting them solve their own problem.
Takeaways from the show
How do you know when & what you need to really worry about regarding your child(ren)? When are you wasting energy?
Avoiding fear-based parenting
Kids have to make mistakes & take risks in service of becoming wiser and more responsible
“The way our children build resilience is through adversity with the right amount of support from us”
Not burdening our teens with our feelings
The excitement & hopes we have for our adolescents and the grief & anxiety we have when they leave
How to respond (and how not to respond) when your adolescent reaches out to you in distress
We’re not launching full formed adults - we’re launching baby adults who will keep learning & developing
For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.
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