Episodes
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Alright my gorgeous people - it is a new month which means a new theme!
Dreams, intuition, gut feelings - this is what I want to dig into for the next couple of weeks with you babes.
How have we become so disconnected with our dreams? What messaging did we get when we were young when we shared our dreams? And how many of us have shoved our dreams in some dark closet because they're "ridiculou" or "unrealisitic" of just because we've been conditioned to believe that our lives have to be rational and sensible and that there's no place for dreams in that?
Well I'm here to tell you that your dreams are your soul calling out to you and that they'll never stop trying to manifest themselves in your life. We just need to start listening! And to get out of our heads!!
I can't wait to hear what this episode brought up for you my friends. Remember i'm always available through my DMS on my instagram @msmarnie_is_here
xx
Marnz
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Arrrright my friends - it's time to get super juicy on this shiz. I've had a lot of amazing feedback from women on a journey to figure out who the F their truly are and to "go their own way"... but i've also had some incredible conversations about what holds us back from these things.
And today I want to dive into this fear that if we do the work, that we could become a different person and that this could mean the end of our current relationship.
You are not alone babes, I have thought and experienced this myself and I want to share in this episode the three biggest fears or roadblocks that i've experiences with my husband when it comes to me fuguring out who I am.
Firstly there's the fear of outgrowing the person that were with. This is a biggie! Secondly I chat about the fear of being held back by our partner once we have had realisations about what kind of life we want to live and feel confident in our dreams.
And lastly there's the frustration/judgement trap. The all to common projection of wherever we are on this journey onto our loved ones and expecting them to be on our level.
Here are the deets for this Month's Bookclub Book that I read a bit from. IT IS AMAZING!
https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Life-Will-Be-the-Death-of-Me-Audiobook/0525638741
If you loved the quote from Dr Joe Dispenza then check out his website https://drjoedispenza.com/ or his instagram @drjoedispenza
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Missing episodes?
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I am so beyond stoked to have the crazy/amazing Lucy Aitkenread on the podcast this week as we continue our July Theme of - You Can Go Your Own Way.
So Lucy's bio describes her as 'Mama/writer/earthlover. Lives in a yurt etc' hahaha BUT Lucy is SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. She is a total expander for me when it comes to questioning everything and creating an intentional life for her and her family
In this episode we chat about how Lucy left London come to NZ and set up her life in an off-the-grid Yurt in rural Waikato. We chat about how her upbringing shaped her and what the first small steps she took were to start REALLY diving deep into what kind of life felt aligned to her values.
Lucy also gives some great tips on finding your peeps and also talks about her synchronistic experience that lead her on the unschooling path with her two daughters, Ramona (9) & Juno (7).
If you would love to know more about Lucy's Spring Retreat that we metion at the end (and that i'm attending woop woop) called Dancing Forest Sisterhood click the link below for all the deets
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSflXaDK7CfrtMEjCTWhOgx50EgTQIkdOIT8g6Z6EhqI9S6xWA/viewform
Lucy also has an INCREDIBLE amount of amazing content on her website
http://lulastic.co.uk/
And if you are interested at all in unschooling then Lou is also runninig her DISCO online course again in November so check out the website for more details or get in touch with her on her Instagram @lulasticblog
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Okay okay my friends we are gonna do things a bit differently around here for the rest of the year so WELCOME to the first monthly theme!
'YOU CAN GO YOUR OWN WAY'
This month is all about getting super deep on what it means to question everything in our lives, from the smallest ways of being to the BIG decision and asking ourselves whether they really align with our true selves, or the lives we want to live.
In today's episode I am chatting about where I currently am on this journey and how hard i'm finding being my WHOLE self now that i'm back living close to my Mum & my home town.
I explain the pull i've been feeling to all of my old ways of being and how hard I believe it is to break free of our conditioning, from our childhoods, our families and the cultural conditioning, when we're surrounded by people who have an expectation of who we are and how we should act, based on their past experience.
A few examples I give are around my recent hmmmm moments around why I got married when I don't really believe in marriage. Or how it took me 29 years to question whether I really felt okay eating meat.
Thank you babes, as always but ESPECIALLY at the moment for sharing this journey with me. I would love love love to hear your feedback and come join me over on my Instagram @msmarnie_is_here as we delve into this theme even deeper over the coming month.
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I'm baaaaaaack and holy shitballs friends this year is really kicking my ass & I kinda feel as if the Universe is just giving me prod after prod like "Sooooo you're really into this 'question everything in life' shit aye? Well how about THESE APPLES!!!"
And so of course the latest part of my life that has got me thinking is how much my biz life and social media life are fucking with my "real life". Which sounds kinda strange but having an "Instagram Business" with my brand Ms Marnie has meant i've spent a ridiculou amount of time on my phone over the last 4 years and today I wanna chat about how recently i've had this mad urge to basically break up with social media for good.
BUT the more I looked into it (and tried to blame Instagram for changing) the more I am realising that it's me that's my problem. I'm the one not holding boundaries around phone time, i'm the one using the 'gram not only to work but to numb out and I'm the one trapping myself in the "but this is how i've always done things" mentality.
I also kind of side step into some information about postnatal depletion so if you have a listen and this piques you're interest then totally get amongst Dr Oscar's Book called 'The Post Natal Depletion Cure' or if you're keen to listen to his yarn about social media and motherhood here's the link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e13zYfv2l4&t=54s&fbclid=IwAR2DRqHE9Oa1gWC5CMOdZvS408-vC0fVOhJq_8sRzLz_5PACHazfGRaEV8k
Thank you SAHHH much for hanging out with a bitta Marnz in your ears and if you ever have any questions, commments or feedback then hit me up on [email protected]
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You know this show ain't about shying away from anything my friends, so today I share with you the biggest lessons I learnt from my public naming and shaming on Instagram and the check-ins that I had to do in order for it to be a true learning experience.
From the initial defensiveness, to sitting with the uncomfortable and confronting shit that was coming up for me to letting that pass so I could be in a place of listening and not letting my ego and it's need to feel like a "good person" take over.
I also share some of my not so "woke" moments when trying to call out my husband on his lack of engagement in the issues that are being brought to light at the moment. I made three mistakes that I can look back now and see how they contributed to it being a pretty unproductive and unconsious conversation.
In the episode I mention Harriet Lerner - here is the link to the podcast episodes she recorded with Brene Brown and also a link to her book Why Won't You Apologize?
https://brenebrown.com/podcast/harriet-lerner-and-brene-im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters/
https://www.amazon.com/Why-Wont-You-Apologize-Betrayals/dp/1501129619/ref=pd_sim_14_4?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=YQBKTFN60AV8FVQAEAB3
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In this episode babes I am so stoked to introduce you to Callie Brown who is a clarity & connection coach but also I truly believe is like the big sister everyone dreams of having.
She is so wise and talking to her is like drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate BUT she's also absolutely hilarious and seriously does not give ANY FUCKS! My kinda gal right.
Today Callie and I talk about how her growing up as a child actress and the pressure to perform & "get the role" lead to a mental/physical/emotional breakdown in her early 20s and how she then literally started her journey to figuring out who she truly is underneath the many masks by going to back to her first breath - to her birth story.
We talk motherhood, conscious parenting (and how we fuck our kids up a little no matter how well intentioned we are), and what it takes to dig down through that deep shit and do it with a sense of lightness.
I cannot recommend enough getting some Callie in your life so please visit her website and instagram for some daily goodness!
http://calliebrown.com.au/
https://www.instagram.com/calliecoach/
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After a really quite deep AF episode last week where I dived into my childhood and the path to understanding and making peace with the stories I made up as a child I realised there was something SUPER important that I left out
So today I chat about the reality of making these incredibly personal and sometimes painful discoveries and how it can leave you feeling pretty untethered.
As well as this I share how I myself fell into a trap of forgetting that these new insight I was having about myself were competing against reactions and beliefs that had been entrenched for 25 years.
I found myself in a place of frustration where there was no room for self-compassion and understanding that these habits and stories that were planted as a child would take time to change.
One of the biggest lightbulbs came when I heard a poem written by a woman named Portia Nelson that I also share on this episode that seriously helped me SO much and I hope it helps you babes too.
Compassion and patience friends, that's the theme of today's episode
If you would like to hear the incredible Wayne Dyer read Portia Nelson's poem then follow this link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP8moNSVkCs
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Arrrright so you know how I warned you it was gon' get a lil deep. Well time to head down the rabbit hole me thinks.
In today's episode I share a mega awakening I whilst escaping from my mumlife breakdown when Riv was just under a year old. It has to do with a story that I had been telling myself (and trying to compensate for) since I was six years old. I realised that this story that I made up almost 30 years ago has been the root cause for so much of my internal suffering over my life and also that simmering discontent I have felt for much of my adult life no matter how "successful" I became or the relationships I had seemed to be.
These realisations had to to with what people call a "core limiting belief" which I explain more about in the episode and then also the counter to that - which I know as a "winning formula".
Understanding where these stories and the resulting patterns of behaviour came from, and why as a 6 year old girl it made TOTAL sense to create them, has really fucking helped me understand MYSELF and have compassion for myself AND a feeling that now as an adult I can gently let those stories go and not be a slave to them anymore.
If you have any questions about ideas I bring up in the epsiode or would like to share your own revelations I would LOVE to hear from you on [email protected]
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Guyzzz I am so incredibly excited to bring you the amazing chat I had with Zoe Blaskey who is the host of the Motherkind Podcast, which has honestly been SUCH a guiding light for me over my Mamahood journey.
Zoe has been on her own rollercoaster ride of figuring out the F she really is for over 12 years since a breakdown/breakthrough she had at the age of 23. Since then she's become a mum to two beautiful girls Jessie who is 4 and Rose who is 5 months, she coaches Mums, and of course interviews incredible guests such as Gabor Mate, Dr Shefali and Glennon Doyle for her podcast.
But the things I love most about Zoe is that she is SO freakin' passionate about helping women navigate motherhood by taking the journey BACK TO THEMSELVES.
Today Zoe and I chat about:
How our childhood experiences and the pain of our parents can shape the masks we wear as adultsWhat it means to "wake up" and start to question everything about our lives and start the journey of uncovering true selvesMartyrdom and the f-ed up messages that sacrifice = love give to children and to mothersWhat it means to our children when we walk this path of truly loving oursleves and living our truthThe true meaning of self-care (not the BS one sold to us by capitalist culture!)I hope you lurrrve this episode as much as I lurrrved chatting to Zoe. And if you've been living under a rock and haven't completely binged all of the episodes of the Motherkind podast then follow the link below and you are in for SUCH a treat
You can also find Zoe through her instagram page https://www.instagram.com/motherkind_zoe/ or through her website https://www.motherkind.co/ where she also has an amazing online course about giving the big ol' finger to perfectionism!
If this episode gave you some lightbulb moments then I would LOVE to hear all about them! Hit me up on my instagram @msmarnie_is_here or leave a review with all the juicy goodness you squeezed from our chat
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I love wine! I love it so much that I've realised I need to sort out my relationship with it or else banish it from my life all together.
Since becoming a Mum i've bought in hook, line and sinker to the Mum Life cliche of needing a wine to cope with the madness. And for a while, I fell in love with this idea. Shit it became part of what I thought made me me. The Mum who says "fuck it" we'll have wine for lunch coz YOLO. But I realised that all that wine drinking was really just masking this constant simmering feeling of disconnection, discontentment and being terrified of feeling out of control.
I asked myself - If wine is the bandaid, then what is the wound? And it's been a bumpy ride babes, from figuring out what I was using wine to escape from and building my trust muscle with myself to falling straight back down the vino rabbit hole after a miscarriage and then really hitting my own personal low during these crazy covid days.
Let's have the conversation right, it ain't easy and hell maybe you really dont' fucking want to BUT when we think of it as an enquiry into truly loving and trusting ourselves and feeling whole without needing anything to fill our void - then what could be the harm in that aye.
And if this has brought up intense feelings or if you do think you need some help dealing with alcohol in your life then please reach out to these services xx
NZ: Alcohol Drug Helpline on 0800 787 797 https://alcoholdrughelp.org.nz/
Australia: https://drinkwise.org.au/drinking-and-you/support-services/#
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This week I have a SUPER special guest - the one and only Em from the Raising Ziggy Blog and the instagram page Officially Em.
Em and I met a couple of years ago and instantly bonded over having two crazy AF sons & our passion for sharing our journies in the realest way possible. Today Em & I chat about how becoming a Mum was something that she never wanted for herself and what the journey looked like to questioning where this came from. She also shares the turning point for her and her partner AJ and the work that it took to get to that place.
We also dig into our Mother's intuition and connecting to our innate knowing of what feels right for our family but also all the things that can challenge that sense of confindence in ourselves as mamas.
Em shares the personal journey she has been on to work through her childhood trauma and how starting a Patreon page to be her safe space to share has been amazingly healing for her as well as the community she has found online.
If you loved hearing from Em & want more of her goodness in your life you can find her at -
Instagram @officiallyem
Facebook Raising Ziggy
And you can join her Patreon where she is writing her life story and whose membership gives you access to her online community EmBassy
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I know right, that sounds big, crazy, scary. BUT what if losing your "self", what if letting all of the masks that you've created to get by in life crumble, what if becoming a blank slate to rebuild yourself based on who you TRULY ARE, is exactly what you This was my experience.
From the rock bottom that I had sunk to through my first year of motherhood I found a place where the parts of myself that had been buried over my life of being who I thought I should be lived. And from there, I started my business, I emerged more of mySELF than ever.
So I invite you to sit with this question my friends.
And if you haven't found Glennon Doyle yet then seriously babes get amongst her instagram @glennondoyle or her latest book UNTAMED just looks SO amazing! - Here she is chatting with Brene blimmin' Brown on her podcast. It is SO GOOD!
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After all that oxytocin had worn off and the sleep deprivation had set in I started to find that confidence in myself as a mother crumble away. Today I talk about the first 6 months of River's life and how severe sleep deprivation and having my connection to my mama intuition slowly being chipped away at lead me to a harrowing journey with a sleep consultant which pushed me over the edge. This manifested for me in severe anxiety and I was existing day and night in that fight or flight mode with my monkey mind running the show. Until one day I had a lightbulb momement while listening to a podcast when the host said "You cannot think your way out of a prison made of thought". I also share how I disconnected I felt from my true self and how this lead to me to start my Statement T-shirt brand Eskimo Nell (now called Ms Marnie) to help women who felt lost reconnect with their true badass selves.
If you're interesting in listening to anything by Krishna Das who I mention in today's episode - below is the link to his podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pilgrim-heart-with-krishna-das/id923018685
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Growing a baby - BIRTHING a baby! Jayyyysus... talk about taking a few quantum leaps into the really big guns of figuring out who I truly am through figuring out what i'm made of when going through one of THE most mentally and physically challenging experiences of life.
My first pregnancy, with my son River who is now 4 and a half, was honestly the most connected i've felt to my true self, and SUCH a huge period of growth for me.
In this episode I chat about my experience at my sister's hypno-birthing class that blew my mind and got me started on the journey to discovering the incredible power of birth to be a transformative process, and about the tools i learned and the key ideas that brought me to a place of having complete and utter trust in my body and my baby to have an incredible, intervention free birth at home.
And of course I blimmin' sit you down for story time to hear about the day that River made his way into the world and how I had an amazing out-of-body experince as I got out of the way of my body doing its thaaaaang.
If you would like to learn more about the books I mention i've popped the details and links below
Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May GaskinGentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: The Wisdom and Science of Gentle Choices in Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting by Sarah J. BuckleyAnd also a link to an article about the Khundalini Yoga exercises called Keep Ups:
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/06/how-kundalini-kriyas-or-keep-ups-prepare-mamas-for-birth/
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Anyone else feel like parenthood and the day-in-day-out pressure of keeping actual human beings alive AS WELL as the house from not falling apart has been the birthplace of some mega breakdown/breakthrough moments?
For me this is 1 million percent true - so I thought I would ask Steve, my husband and the now stay-at-home parent to our sons about his experience over the last 13 months.
We chat about how he came up with the idea to quit his job and look after the kids and how different it is from his expectations (spoiler alert: there's a lot less putting your feet up time than he imagined hahaha). Steve also shares about his struggles with parental guilt and together we brainstorm how the f*ck families can open up the conversations about sharing the load at home more.
I'm sure there will be loads more questions for Steve off the back of this episode so head over to my Instagram @msmarnie_is_here and we'll pressure him to do a live chat yahooooo xxx
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What the F does it even mean to figure out who we truuuuly are and ummmm how does one even START on this crazy ass journey?
Welcome to the first episode of the Just Me Being Me - No Apology Podcast where I, Ms Marnie, fill you in on my first heartbreak *insert tiny violin* which actually turned out to be the catalyst to me waking up to the inner workings of my mind and from there starting to question everything that I thought to be true; about myself & about my reality. WOAH I know right - I told you this would be one hell of a ride.
I also chat about my teenage years spent in Brazil as an exchange student, about how I had my mind blown by the work of Deepak Chopra and i’ll introduce what I believe to be the first step to figuring out who we truly are… I call it “taking the blue pill” …. Matrix-styles.
Thank you SO much for lending me your ears and for walking this journey alongside me. And remember if you would love to be part of the Just Me Being Me - No Apology crew head to the Ms Marnie website www.msmarnie.com and order your epic t-shirt today.
