Episodes
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about how our sex lives in marriage are intertwined and connected to the rest of our relationship. So if we want to improve our sex life the first place to start could be to look at the satisfaction and health of the rest of our relationship.
Links:
Weekend Getaway Pricing - https://events.familylifecanada.com/weekend-getaway-marriage-conferences/#rates-and-offers
Weekend Getaway Locations - https://events.familylifecanada.com/weekend-getaway-marriage-conferences/#locations -
Sheldon and Valerie sit down with Jared and Courtney LaCoste to talk about their marriage journey.
Jared and Courney have been married for 13 years and have called Regina home for the last 4.5 years. They have three kids together ages 9, 8 and 6. Jared works in Regina full time with Athletes in Action as a sports chaplain with the Saskatchewan Roughriders and Regina Pats. Courtney works as a Registered Nurse. They keep busy following their kids around to hockey games, figure skating, gymnastics and football games if they arenât at home that is where they will be.
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Sheldon and Valerie talk A Rule of Life. Something they learnt about from Ken Shigamatsu in his book âGod in My Everythingâ. Ken talks about how we can experience God in every part of our lives when we are intentional in the way we live, caring for and growing in our spirit, mind and body. He says a rule of life is â simply a rhythm of practices that empowers us to live well and grow more like Jesus by helping us experience God in everything.â
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about three ways that Jesus related to people. He was compassionate, made connections and showed courage. There are lessons we can learn from Jesus in relating to our spouse and kids. Compassion is a heart posture that moves us to action. Building connection through question asking and seeking just as Jesus did in his interactions The courage to love the way Jesus did, confront how Jesus confronted and forgive the way Jesus did.
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Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!!!
Sheldon and Valerie talk about the importance of gratitude and together they process seeing the good or bad in a situation, how we can make a shift in our thinking and the importance of honesty.
Processing QuestionsWhat are you thankful for today?
What would help you to deal with issues rather than complain about them?
Where do you focus more, on the good or the bad, and is it dependent on the situation and person? Why do you think that is?
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about realizing we donât have to manage our spouses emotions. It was so freeing once they realized this and they share reasons that made it difficult for them, but they also share how understanding they don't have o manage each others emotions has been so helpful in their marriage.
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about mental load and what has helped them in this area of their marriage. In short, mental load are the things we need to remember in life to keep things going. Mental load is one of those elements of marriage that once again Sheldon and Valerie have had to work on in their marriage, and are still working and learning about this. Mental load was a pain point for many years for them until they had honest conversations, increased awareness in this area, made lists together which also involved fairly dividing things up, and approaching mental load with a teammate perspective.
Processing questions from this episode:
How do we currently deal with the mental load in our family?What would help us in dealing with the mental load? An honest conversation, increased awareness, making lists together and fairly dividing them, or having a teammate perspective? -
Sheldon and Valerie have a conversation with Stacy Bellward from Connected Families about 6 Practical Tips To Tame Your Temper. Though the focus of this episode is on parenting, the tips that are talked about in this episode will help us in our marriages and even at work too.
Stacy has worked with Connected Families for over 8 years in many roles, including hosting the Connected Families Podcast, which recently reached 2 million listens. She has been married to her husband, Paul, for 24 years and has 2 young adult daughters. Stacy enjoys Ethiopian coffee, spontaneous mission trips, and supporting missionaries around the world.
Connected Families was founded in 2002 by Jim and Lynne Jackson, and is dedicated to providing content and support to empower thoughtful and confident parenting. Their focus is on fostering Christ-centered transformation through a global community of parents, parent coaches, and ministry partners equipped with a biblical parenting framework.
This interview is part of a parenting resource called âThe Confident Parent Series.â If you would like to receive the videos and other resources that are part of the Confident Parent Series you can sign up for the FamilyLife Canada newsletter at www.familylifecanada.com. And you can watch the first Confident Parent Series video workshop here: "How Can I Keep My Cool When Correcting My Child?"Here are a few other helpful links from Connected Families:
Discipline That Connects With Your Child's Heart Course
Connected Families Podcast
Weekly Parenting Tips Newsletter
Free Resource: Helping Kids With Anger
Free Resource: 20 Empathy Statements to Show Kids You Really See Them
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about what to do when life goes from zero to sixty and it feels like you and your spouse are drifting from the frantic pace. They will share a few things they do that helps them as well as share a little formula to use in your relationship.
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about 6 ways we can build trust in our relationship. Intentionality; Consistency; Follow Through; Allowing For Conflict; Admit When We Make A Mistake, and Care For People.
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about the tendency to underestimate the difficulty of things and overestimate our abilities at times and how it's good to be realistic and honest with ourselves. The solution to this is to gain understanding and tools so that we can overcome these difficulties.
Processing Questions:
What are areas where you have underestimated the difficulty of things?What are areas where you have overestimated your abilities?
How would being realistic and honest with yourself help in these situations?
How can you gain some understanding and tools to help in difficult situations?
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Sheldon and Valerie chat with Scott and Joanne Williams. Scott and Joanne Williams live in Fredericton, NB where they work together in their business, raised their children and enjoy church ministry and a life full of rich friendships. They are the proud parents of 3 incredible children â Taylor (27), Micah (23) and Tori (21). Their story is one of redemption, forgiveness, healing and Godâs faithfulness. They have the honor of leading marriage ministries at their home church, HopeCity. They are believers in inviting people into their story - mentors in their life have been an integral part of their healing journey. They love serving marriages, families, Godâs house and ultimately, their God who has done so much for them. Be encouraged that no story is beyond redemption. God is faithful to do His most amazing work in the lives of those completely surrendered. It is their desire that marriages would find hope and healing through their story of brokenness and Godâs goodness.
Processing Questions:
What points you back to truth when the lies want to take over?
Which stigmas about marriage issues have been part of your thinking?
What are you holding onto that needs to be surrendered to the Lord? -
Sheldon and Valerie talk about lessons they learnt while paddling the Churchill River for 5 days with a group of 20 friends and family. They share some of their highlights and life lessons which include: When you tip you can still smile; Itâs ok to lighten the load; Steer towards your destination; Share life with family and friends; Life is an adventure - live it!; Attitude Matters; Soul Care; Learn from others; Heed warnings.
FamilyLife Canada Marriage Mentoring
FamilyLife Canada Weekend Getaways
Group Rates for Weekend Getaways -
Sheldon and Valerie continue their conversation on building culture focusing on building block #4, âwrite down your core value statementsâ. The three steps are: Step 1: Think of what you want your values to embody; Step 2: Isolate the unique principles; Step 3: Create memorable language thatâs prescriptive and descriptive.
Processing Questions:
What would creating value statements do in your family?What is one value you would love to cultivate or keep growing in your family?What is one step you could take today towards creating value statements for your family?Carey Nieuwhof Blog
3 Steps to Create Church Core Value Statements (With Examples)
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about creating culture in our marriages and families. They chat about a blog by Carey Nieuwhof titled 5 Essential Building Blocks of a Healthy Church Culture and the principles he uses in building church culture.
Processing Questions:
What is the current culture of your family?What do you want the culture to be?How do you achieve the culture that you want?Carey Nieuwhof Blog
5 Essential Building Blocks of a Healthy Church Culture
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Valerie and Sheldon interview Elaine and Darren Lee on their marriage journey. The things they have done well and the things they have learned from along the way.
Darren is a Quality Assurance Manager working for a global tech company. Elaine is a Strategic Projects Lead working in Power to Change.
Elaine and Darren are passionate about food and travel and they each do equal amounts of eating and cooking, but Darren loves long journeys and hanging out in airports to check out planes, while Elaine prefers to get to the destination as quickly as possible.
They both grew up in Christian households but walked away from God for more than 10 years. They rededicated their lives to Jesus in 2018 whilst living in London, UK for 2 years. Darren & Elaine moved from New Zealand to Canada almost 5 years ago (Oct 2019). They lead a Prayer Ministry Team in church and love to see people experience healing and freedom by the work of the Holy Spirit through prayer. They facilitate a 12-step course called STEPS, designed to help people find freedom from unhelpful/unhealthy thought or behavior patterns. They have a heart for caring for people pastorally and hope that sharing their story would help strengthen relationships and marriages.
Weekend Getaway Summer Sale happening July 5 - 18th. This will be the lowest publicly posted rate of the year. For locations and conference information go to familylifecanada.com/events.
If you sign up for the Four Weeks to Oneness free series at familylifecanada.com/live anytime now or during the promo period, youâll get an exclusive behind the scenes discount on the summer promo. No need to wait until July! -
Sheldon and Valerie interview Pat and Anita Neuman on their marriage journey. The things they have done well and the things they have learned from along the way.
Pat and Anita Neuman are actually part of the volunteer team that helps with FamilyLife Canadaâs Weekend Getaways in the maritimes. They have been married for 27 years and have 4 children, 3 of whom are out on their own now, and their youngest is going into his last year of high school.
They live in New Brunswick, but have previously lived in Ontario, Michigan, and Ethiopia where they served as missionaries. A few years ago, Pat and Anita opened a retreat centre called Ballast Lodge at their home in Johnsonâs Mills New Brunswick. The tagline is âa place of stability in the midst of lifeâs stormsâ, and that really is the focus of what theyâve created there.
Pat and Anita love to serve and bless churches, pastors, and counselors. As well as couples who want to invest in their marriages, and families dealing with grief or loss. Ballast Lodge provides space for solitude, quiet reflection, time in nature, a break from technology, and opportunities to really be present with your spouse or family.
Itâs located right on the Bay of Fundy, which offers incredible views and lots of space to hike or birdwatch. And on clear days you can see the famous Hopewell Rocks. And itâs open year-round!!!
For more information visit Ballastlodge.ca or search Ballast Lodge on FacebookWeekend Getaway Summer Sale happening July 5 - 18th. This will be the lowest publicly posted rate of the year. For locations and conference information go to familylifecanada.com/events.
If you sign up for the Four Weeks to Oneness free series at familylifecanada.com/live anytime now or during the promo period, youâll get an exclusive behind the scenes discount on the summer promo. No need to wait until July!
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Valerie and Sheldon talk about what to do if grandparents are being too involved in our lives. In this episode they introduce 3 elements that can help parents navigate the conversation with grandparents that are too involved (1. Be A Team; 2. Make A Game Plan Together; 3. Have The Honest Conversation).
Intentional GrandparentingHere is the link that is talked about in the show regarding FamilyLife US and their podcasts on intentional grandparenting.
Weekend Getaway Summer Sale happening July 5 - 18th. This will be the lowest publicly posted rate of the year. For locations and conference information go to familylifecanada.com/events.
If you sign up for the Four Weeks to Oneness free series at familylifecanada.com/live anytime now or during the promo period, youâll get an exclusive behind the scenes discount on the summer promo. No need to wait until July!
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Sheldon and Valerie talk about being stuck in a gridlock, not the traffic kind but the marriage kind. They unpack the 5 steps to move us out of gridlock identified in the book âThe Seven Principles For Making Marriage Workâ by Dr. John Gottman. Step 1 - Be A Dream Detective; Step 2 - Donât Solve Rather Seek To Understand; Step 3 - Soothe Each Other; Step 4 - End The Gridlock; Step 5 - Say Thank You.
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We have the privilege of having my dad, Terry, and Sheldon's dad, David, on the podcast today and of course Sheldon is here with us also. I will be interviewing them on their journey of fatherhood.
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