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In this episode of Now I Get It, I dive into the fascinating topic of complimentary neuroses in relationships. I explain how we tend to be drawn to people whose unresolved patterns and neuroses compliment our own, creating a sense of wholeness. While this dynamic can feel comforting at first, over time, it often leads to conflict and challenges that provide an opportunity for growth and transformation.
I also walk you through the key developmental stages—like attachment, exploration, and identity—and how experiences during these phases shape our behaviors and attachment styles as adults. By understanding these patterns and embracing the “crucible” of conflict in relationships, we can move beyond a superficial sense of completeness to achieve true wholeness, both individually and as a couple.
In this episode, you will learn:
(00:02) What complimentary neuroses are and how they show up in relationships
I explain why we’re attracted to partners whose patterns mirror and compliment our own.
(02:20) How developmental stages shape our attachment styles
I talk about the attachment, exploration, and identity phases and how they impact us as adults.
(04:12) The outcomes of different attachment styles
I cover avoidant, anxious, and secure attachments, and how they show up in relationships.
(08:04) Why pushing polarities can restore balance
I share how intensifying certain behaviors can help us break free from unbalanced patterns.
(12:44) The role of relationships as a transformative crucible
I explain how the heat and pressure of relationship conflict can lead to growth and healing.
(14:57) Why love frequencies matter
I talk about the importance of feeling loved in a way that keeps the “crucible” strong enough to hold transformation.
Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandy
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Today, we dive into the fascinating concept of complimentary neuroses in relationships and explore how our individual developmental stages and attachment styles, shaped by early childhood experiences, influence the partners we are drawn to and the dynamics that ensue. I explain that our attractions and tolerances often align with our own neuroses, creating complementary relationships that are both enriching and challenging.
You’ll be able to gain insights into the attachment styles—secure, avoidant, and anxious—and how these early patterns manifest in adult relationships and how the phases of development, from attachment and exploration to identity and competence, and how each stage leaves its mark on our personalities. This episode reveals the transformative power of relationships, as they provide a crucible for growth, healing, and the potential to overcome our limiting patterns.
In this episode, you will learn:
(00:45) What are complementary neuroses in relationships? Why we are attracted to partners with neuroses that complement our own.(02:30) The role of attachment styles in shaping relationships: How avoidant, anxious, and secure attachments form in early childhood and influence adult behavior.(08:50) The impact of developmental stages on personality: An exploration of the phases of attachment, exploration, identity, and competence, and how they shape who we are.(16:39) How relationships act as a crucible for transformation: Understanding how our neuroses collide in relationships and create opportunities for growth.(14:21) Why balance and attunement in parenting are critical: The importance of mirroring and balanced responses in helping children form a healthy sense of self.Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Eksik bölüm mü var?
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Today, we return to the concept of interaction style to cover a facet to it that I haven't addressed previously, but that turns out to be a bit more significant and well worth focusing on.
Welcome to episode nine of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. I’m talking about the concept of the four interaction styles and the core values that are associated with them.
Tune in and listen as I explore how these styles can be mathematically partitioned, how they manifest in gestures and behaviors, and the distinctions between sensing and intuition and initiators and responders.
In this episode, you will learn:
There are four styles of interaction (00:27)Planners find it worth it to anticipate and plan ahead (02:44)Commanders want to take action instantly and make things happen (03:18)For optimizers it's worth it to gather all the resources and get all the viewpoints (03:38)Involvers make the effort to get others involved and motivated (04:07)Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In many countries, there is a significant difference in the perception of the culture between males and females. This is just one of the reasons why authoritarian movements have a very strong opposition to any sort of differences in sexuality, sexual identity, and sexual orientation—because many of those ideas fly in the face of a cultural value that says that these are very fundamental differences between people.
Welcome to episode eight of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Today, I’m talking about the intersection of authoritarianism and the scientific understanding of time, space, and gravity.
Tune in and listen as I explore the nature of time and space and the role of cesium clocks in establishing a precise definition of time.
In this episode, you will learn:
The map isn't the territory (06:18)Whatever you choose as your clock, they all scale together (10:59)Most of the time, we get to live very well with the illusion that we all experience the same time and space (19:01)Light is found to travel at exactly that one speed (22:53)Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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A lot of people are confused when they think about life, how life happens and how it's possible, but if you take a look at that bright yellow thing in the sky, there's a lot of energy coming from it. If you let it soak into your skin, you'll notice that there's real energy there. If you put solar cells on your house, you can see a very significant, measurable amount of energy captured.
Welcome to episode seven of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Today, I’m talking about the fundamental principles of life, energy, and evolution.
Tune in and listen as I explore the significance of kinetics and catalysts in facilitating chemical reactions essential for life and the concepts of heritability, selection, and probability.
In this episode, you will learn:
Compressed gas leads to heat (00:31)About kinetics and the importance of catalysts (05:54)Enzymes and DNA are the mechanisms of life (09:02)The concepts behind natural and sexual selection in evolution (18:04)The importance of diverse skills in survival (23:56)Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's easy to condemn the horrific actions of Nazis, fascists, and various other authoritarian movements. On both the left and the right, there are been groups that are murderous and highly abusive of human rights. Nevertheless, I find myself compelled to argue that we should be compassionate towards those people, even as we obviously condemn the damaging and horrific actions they perform.
Welcome to episode six of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Today, I’m talking about the complexities of authoritarianism and libertarianism and discussing the psychological and societal factors that contribute to these ideologies.
Tune in and listen as I explore the role of racism and religion in authoritarian movements, the dangers of societal division, and how important it is to practice unity through compassion and understanding.
In this episode, you will learn:
There's an axis between authoritarianism on the one hand and libertarianism on the other (01:01)One of the major issues with authoritarianism is the problem of speaking truth to power (04:55) It’s easy to condemn the actions and beliefs of authoritarians, but we should also show them compassion (07:27)There is a sense among Americans authoritarianism is something that “can't happen here,” but we have to remember that that was also said about Germany in the 1930’s (11:55)Why minorities always become a target in authoritarian regimes (18:08)Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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AI is undoubtedly one of humanity's greatest inventions, transforming industries and simplifying millions of lives. But as we see it evolve at lightning speed, inevitable questions arise: is this technology sustainable? Can we trust it to remain harmless? Let's find out, shall we?
Welcome to episode five of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Today, we explore the evolution and development of Artificial Intelligence. From Alan Turing's foundational ideas on computing to making computers behave like neural networks, we dive deep into the world of this fascinating technology created to mimic human intelligence.
Tune in and listen as I break down the mechanics of AI and explain why, due to its imbalanced cognitive functions, we must keep an eye on its evolution to ensure its ethical progress and use.
In this episode, you will learn:
AI and its potential to mimic intelligent behavior (2:10)Using puzzles and rewards to train AI (9:00)Continuous functions, why they are so important (19:50)Can AI become the villain of our story? The dangers of imbalanced cognitive functions (29:30)What if AI develops an Inspector type of personality? (35:00)About the role of cognitive functions in AI development (44:10)Let's connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Among the many critical formative inventions in human history, perhaps one of the most important is the concept of bartering and currency. With this system, humans have enabled themselves to spend more time doing things within their skill set while others do the same, creating a net surplus for everyone.
Welcome to episode four of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Today, I’m changing the pace a bit and turning our attention in a different direction. We’ll return to relationship talk soon enough, but for this episode, I want to explore the concepts around cryptocurrency.
Tune in and listen as I recount and expand on the history and evolution of currency, from barter systems to gold and silver and now the concept of cryptocurrency.
In this episode, you will learn:
Silver and gold certificates came about for convenience (02:57)The point of a checking account is that instead of directly paying money, you give a promise that your bank will get to their bank (06:38)Fiat currency doesn’t adhere to the gold standard, so it is prone to manipulation (08:54)With a digital signature, you can have assets that were owned by the signature independently of whatever person had the information necessary to manipulate (17:56)If you set up a bank, then it's very easy for a government to shut you down (27:59)The amount of energy involved in mining the blockchain is a serious concern (31:54)Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Often, we treat others with a great deal more kindness and care than we treat ourselves—but this is a mistake. By putting our own needs last, we hinder our ability to actually be helpful and supportive to our loved ones.
Welcome to episode three of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Today, I’m talking about nurturing yourself and others. By simply treating ourselves the way we would someone else, we’re able to garner more empathy for others and less prone to burn out.
Tune in and listen as I explain all about the eight facets to the self and how we can use these teachings to nurture ourselves.
In this episode, you will learn:
The scout is the part of our consciousness that pays attention to our senses (03:08)The keeper acts as a guardian, curator, and librarian, scanning and scouring our memories (05:28)The seer processes meaning—and symbolic meaning in particular (09:48)The sequencer puts things in line and orders what needs to happen first and what needs to happen later (11:47)The analyst tears things apart and figures out how they fit back together (13:35)The connector is a party animal that wants to spend quality time with loved ones (14:36)The unifier acts as the conscience—in order for connection, there are necessary standards (15:30)Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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If you're with someone who isn’t the same psychological type as you, chances are that many of the ways you express love go unfelt—and you may even be oblivious to the ways that love is shown to you, too.
Welcome to episode two of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. Today, I’m talking about how to be mindful of the love that you’re giving and receiving. Even more than that, I want you to understand the way your loved ones’ minds work and proactively find ways of showing and sharing love.
But how do we do that? How do we know? It turns out, they’re showing us how all the time.
Tune in and listen as I cover the specific four traits that people have, the four types of interaction style, and the distinction between initiators and responders and the intuitive vs the abstract.
In this episode, you will learn:
There are four different styles of gesturing that correspond to the four different temperaments (02:12)Abstract language is language focused on pattern, concrete language is language focused on detail (03:58)What your physical walk can say about your personality (07:55)If you don't know what an introvert is thinking, you haven't asked. If you don't know what an extrovert is thinking, you haven't been listening (11:25)Keeping hope alive is the most important thing we can do (18:48)Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Do you feel so loved that you can't possibly imagine feeling more loved? And what about your loved ones, do they feel the same? In this thread on relationships, we'll explore together what you need to know to be able to reach that kind of place in your life and to achieve that kind of feeling.
Welcome to episode one of Now I Get It with Dr. Andy. I’m Dr. Andrew Winkler, former math professor at both Stanford and Columbia Universities. On this podcast, we’ll explore the most interesting insights I’ve come across throughout the mental landscape.
Tune in and listen as we cover math, science, personality, how we think and feel, and how we love or feel unloved. I’m also going to welcome guests to help us learn the answers to all of our most confusing questions and help us reach new understandings.
In this episode, you will learn:
Mindset isn’t permanent, it can be changed (01:35)The four questions that need to be understood in order to develop stronger relationships and feelings of love (03:33)How your mind works, and how that affects feeling loved.The process of maturing takes us longer than we get to live (12:31)In addition to asking “What's the cheapest way to get this,” part of you is asking, “Is this worth the cost?” (23:34)Let’s connect!
linktr.ee/drprandyHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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The Now I Get It, with Dr. Andy Podcast. Coming June 13th!
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
